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5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

  1. Julieta

    December 7, 2015 at 10:04 pm

    Hi Chris,
    I would appreciate your input on my recent situation. I was dating a guy for four months. We became exclusive early on in the relationship. After four months of exclusively dating I decided to talk to him about putting a title on it. When I discussed the topic with him he was wishy washy about it and asked for more time. His reasoning was that he “doesn’t want us to break up in the future,” “a title puts pressure on things,” and “he hates breakups and would prefer to never go through one again.” Since he responded with those words, I ended things hoping he would realize what he was losing and almost beg to keep dating or make this official. I felt that we ended on bad terms and I wanted closure. I also felt that I had listened to what every one else was saying too much and made a hastily decision, so I text him the following day letting him know I still care and the reason why I broke it off. His response was that we should take a break for now, but that doesn’t mean he never wants to date me again. The next day he reached out to me asking if I was okay and brought up topics completely separate from the “breakup” (which we weren’t even official.)

    Thank you Chris!

  2. Amara

    December 7, 2015 at 12:32 pm

    Hi Chris.
    So there’s this guy. He asked me out on a date and then we started hanging out and stuff and I couldn’t get him off my mind.
    Then he kissed me. And I was really confused because he’s like on and off. One minute he kissed me the next he’s ignoring my calls.
    So I text him and ask him what we are and he says nothing!
    I’m very devastated right now and he tells me that the kiss was a mistake and he won’t explain himself since we’ll stop talking eventually.
    He played with my emotions and I can’t get him off my mind. How can I make him want me ? Please help

  3. Haley

    December 6, 2015 at 10:53 pm

    Hey, so yesterday I had to break up with my boyfriend because my mom told my dad and my dad is protective about me dating. I have known my ex for about 4 years because my parents knew his dad. Well the night before I told my mom we were dating. My parents don’t talk to his dad anymore and neither did my boyfriend. My mom told me later that night that she would talk to my dad and see what he thought about it. My dad didn’t have an answer so yesterday I made the hardest decision by breaking up with him. We still talk he is not mad at me we are still really good friends but last night I asked if he was ok and he said ya we both like each other and we stopped texting last night because he had to go. I really want to talk to him I don’t know what to do because we both like each other and I can’t sneak date him. I want to talk to him but I feel like I will make things worse by talking about it to him what do I do should I tell him how I feel or should I ignore him?

  4. sunshine

    December 6, 2015 at 7:53 pm

    Hi Chris,

    Thank you for your wonderful advice.
    I broke up with my ex 3 weeks ago after 3.5 months. We had a great relationship, he makes me laugh like no one and quickly got that feeling of having a best friend in him. Chemistry amazing. Although he didn’t to want a relationship when we met ( he just got out of a 2.5 years on and off one) we quickly became soon exclusive. I am 36 and he is 3 years younger. I don’t want to waste time yet also not miss out on love! He was getting a little withdrawn so I started going on other dates and doing my own thing. When I finally asked he said he wanted to continue seeing me but not “officialise” it…. What does that even mean..(we hadn’t been with anyone else during our relationship) and that if I wanted to get some time off he would understand. So I broke it off with little drama saying I understood we were in different places etc. He seemed very upset…said if I wanted he would still come help me with some furniture or that we could talk. I said I wasn’t sure. We however had breakup sex (i know, shame on me) that same night after the breakup as I went out with a group of friends to get my mind of things but called him later (i had drunk quite a bit). He told me to go over and i did :-@ he seemed very upset. On the verge of tears. He said he had missed me. But i acted kind of cool and left as I felt it wasn’t enough. It has now been a while and he has never contacted me once. I miss him so much. In the beginning was going with 1month NC to clear my head but everyone tells me to never contact him again and if he doesn’t to move on. I am trying very hard. Even dating someone who seems amazing but I can’t get my mind of my ex. πŸ™ what do you think? Should I listen to everyone and try harder moving on (I would very much like building a future with someone at this point) or contact him eventually? Thank you

  5. Sameera

    December 6, 2015 at 9:37 am

    Hi Chris , needed your advice . I met a guy who was more than friends with me for one month. He never took any effort from his side . He only replied to my messages. He always gave the excuse of heavy work and problems here and there . In fact he even cancelled meeting me more than once . But any time I am in front of him he always talks about having a future together. There was one time i got fed up of chasing him and I broke it off because he had no time for me. It’s been one week now and he did not reply or say anything . I really like this guy however this time I do not want to be the one to contact . The prob is that I can be easily forgotten coz there is no way I can meet him or he does not have anything that reminds him of me . But I miss him. What do u think I should do ? I tried too hard but I really don’t want to be the person contacting him. I want him to contact me or he wil take me for granted considering his nature. Please help me

  6. Emma

    December 6, 2015 at 2:30 am

    Hi my name is Emma i have been with my now ex for over 8 years we have a 4 year old daughter
    He broke up with me a few weeks ago as he said he does not love me but also said he misses how we used to be and that he just loves me as a friend.But i want him back as i really do love him a few months before we broke up we was talking about buying a house and marriage he is also in the forces so we didn’t see him every day just 2-3 days a week and when he has his holidays i think we just lost our way and the connection as we never seemed to spend time with each other do you think we can get this back and how the hell do i do it? i have already begged him and told him i love him and want to try again
    we went to london for the night to see if he had feelings still but he said he didn’t but to be honest we did not spend much quality time together as he had to rush back the next day for work so the whole night and day was just rushing round London and then he just wanted sex do we have any chance

    1. Emma

      December 6, 2015 at 2:34 am

      Oh and he bloody broke up with me via a message not even face to face which after 8 years and a daughter i thought i deserved at least that

  7. Jen

    December 6, 2015 at 1:34 am

    Hi Chris,
    We broke up about 6 weeks ago. Before the breakup he talked about moving in together. This was his idea and I was initially hesitant because I’m divorced (though I’m still in my 20’s lol) and need to move slow with big steps like this. But he was persistent so I eventually began to discuss locations with him and etc.
    We had a fight a few days later which resulted with us breaking up. I feel like it was more him ending it than me. 2 weeks later we talked about everything. He said he was fine with us not being together and one of the last things he said was, “Look, I like you a lot and I want to move forward but I don’t want to deal with drama and argue. I rather us be friends than ignore and hate each other. But you should start dating other guys and keep your options open.”
    It’s been a month since that convo and we’ve had no contact. We work together so I see him sometimes, but I avoid eye contact. Sometimes he hangs around my office but sometimes he seems to avoid my area and I won’t see him around. A few days ago I opened a door and ran into him and another coworker. I kept my eyes averted and just walked by them without saying anything. Later the coworker said my ex had “eyed” me as I walked away.
    I feel like the jealously thing you mentioned *should* be kicking in but seems to not be because a few of the guys who work in his department kinda flirt with me. But so far he hasn’t made any attempt at reconciliation. His boss asked me the other day what happened with us because “he used to go on and on about you but now he never mentions you.”
    Thoughts? The NC doesn’t seem to be working as I haven’t gotten a text or anything.

  8. Lyn

    December 5, 2015 at 11:10 pm

    Chris —

    Everything was fine. I was so in love and I thought it was both ways. My boyfriend was a peach about saying how much he still loves me (it has been more than 3 years) when all of a sudden I get an e-mail saying; “I have decided to let a relationship happen. Don’t contact me so I can see if this relationship is what God wishes. I know this is not a proper good-bye but I must.” I am devastated. What does a grown woman think We are both in our 60’s.

  9. Alex

    December 5, 2015 at 6:51 pm

    We were absolutely perfect together for 8 straight months. He told all of his friends and family that I was the one and he was going to marry me. He even started saving for a ring (one of his buddies told me that). Anyone who saw us could see that we were so happy. Well some changes happened in my personal life with school and work and I got a little insecure (this was like October). My self esteem was in the toilet, I stopped going to class, and I was embarrassed to tell him.
    So, since I was so insecure at the time, I needed more verbal affirmation from him. “Tell me how much you love me…” Stuff like that. He started to get tired of it, and we fought outside of a wedding last month. Granted, he practically ignored me at the wedding when I didn’t do anything wrong. He dumped me right there while he was drunk. I was devastated that he could just throw us away, especially given how serious we were. So a week went by of being broken up, and then he called me saying he missed me and that he can’t live without me and we can work through everything. He said he never wanted to lose me again and we talked for days about all the things we both needed to work on. I was insecure and he has trouble being as expressive with his love as I want him to be.
    Well, we got back together, but I had trust issues. This is a man who told me time and time again that he wasn’t going anywhere, and then dumped me out of the blue. So it became hard for me to take him at his word. But I told him from the moment we got back together that I was going to work on moving past the breakup, and that the trust would rebuild in time. He said he would be there as long as it took because we were meant to be together. So we went to Dallas to visit his brother and sis in law for Thanksgiving. We were there for a week and he kept talking about how someday we should move out there. We drove around looking at houses, he seriously was promising me the world. I kind of had a mini-breakdown after everyone went to sleep one night because I was still having trouble believing the things he said, because he had said those things before and still dumped me. I told him it might take some time for me to regain the trust I once had in him. He said he understood and that he would wait but that I also needed to work on letting it go.
    But he told me that we were great, everything was fine, and that he would spend the rest of his life proving his devotion to our relationship. He talked about how excited he was to get home to Fresno and start doing things right together. The rest of the trip was great. We got along great, and had a wonderful time. I flew back on Friday and he flew back Saturday, I picked him and his family from the airport. We were fine I thought. We talked Saturday night like we always did. Sunday he dumped me. Told me nothing was changing, I still have trust issues and nothing will ever change. I told him I just needed more time to rebuild and Dallas doesn’t count because there was the pressure of having his whole family there, but he wasn’t having it. He was so cold about the whole thing. He said he loves me but he isn’t going to change, doesn’t want to work on us, doesn’t want to make changes and that he is emotionally done. I was shocked. Literally two days before he broke up with me he was talking about what our future children were going to be like. He was so excited to get home and work on us, but he dumped me when we hadn’t even been home for 24 hours.
    I treated him so well. I did so much for him. I was close with his family, his friends, I even gave him money a couple times when he was low (he didn’t ask for it or anything but I offered). We really honestly truly had a great and loving relationship. The only thing we struggled with is how expressive he wasn’t. We both were all in for life. I know he loved me, and the first time we broke up he only lasted three days without contacting me. I did NC during that time and it worked. He saw me in the street that third day and sent me a text saying that he wants me to be happy and that he is hurting too. I didn’t reply. He called me that night and we talked through everything and we got back together. But this time, it has now been five days. He has not contacted me and I have run into him twice (from a distance) at school. He works at my school. But he hasn’t contacted me. I haven’t contacted him. I went out last night and posted a couple of tasteful pictures with friends on Facebook. His best friend’s gf even reached out to me to tell me she is thinking of me and that she will miss me. I want to text him so badly sometimes. What if he feels like he wants to come back but he thinks he has blown it? What if he misses me but he feels he has done too much damage. We were so good together and everyone knew it, including him, for so long. I was also his first very serious relationship and we are both in our late twenties. He is a religious and commitment oriented guy, so I know I meant a lot to him. It’s hard because he really is a great person, despite the way he has handled the breakups. Does he miss me? What is wrong with giving him a little nudge with a casual text right now?

  10. Mimi

    December 5, 2015 at 2:52 am

    Hello, me and my ex bf was so great together for 2 years, and we were going to get engaged the next year. he was always treating me like princess and always calling my mother and my married sister and i also had always a touch with his family, i cheated on him for the last months and then he knew it all, he left me for 3 days and then came by again and forgave me and said ‘promise me you’ll change’ then we got back together for 2 weeks then left me again because he remembered all the shit i’ve done and can’t get this out of his mind. then he called me and said ‘i can’t live without you anymore i want you’. we’ve continued breaking up and getting back every week i think!! i see he always forgive me and wanted me but he can’t handle that i was too bad with him and lied to him again after we got back after the second break up (we’ve reached about 7 breakups!). about 2 days ago he left again after we had such a great day with friends, but he’s always leaving and coming again but i’m really tired!! i’m not his toy! He left because i said that i dont trust him so he got so nervous and said ‘get out of my life, you’ll never change your shitty attitude’, but we’re always saying that to each other and getting back together again normally! i called him yesterday because he’s sick and he said ‘don’t call me again, that’s enough’. he called me today because he knew i was going out with some friends to a bar and he doesnt like me to go bars alone without him, so he shouted on the phone and told me ‘i swear to god i wont let you go there’ i shouted and said ‘it’s not your business’ and closed the phone while he was talking. i called him after i turned back home and asked ‘are you still sick?’ he told me ‘dont you chilled out and didn’t listen to me? don’t ever come and talk again’. so as you see it’s so complicated and i really dont understand him mind anymore! one day he leaves me and the other next day he calls me! what should i do to make him want me and come again and never leave then? do you think he still wants me after what happened today?

  11. Stephanie

    December 4, 2015 at 6:49 pm

    Hi, Chris:

    My boyfriend and I were together for 2 years, and for the past year we’ve been living together. I lost my job back in February, and it took quite a while to finally find a new one, during which time, there was a lot of stress, money issues became a problem, lots of arguing. A rift definitely grew between us, but we both committed to trying to work things out. It seemed that no matter how we tried, arguing had somehow become a habit, if that makes any sense? Anyway, things never really got back on track for us, and there was always this odd feeling of distance that was never there before.

    At the beginning of October, he started behaving very strangely, going for “walks” late at night, and doing things that were completely out of character for him, and I began to have that gut feeling that he was cheating on me. I didn’t have any definitive proof, however, so I kept my counsel about the situation.

    This past weekend, he left on Saturday night, going for one of his “walks” and he didn’t come back til Sunday evening, and when he arrived home, he was so drunk he could barely stand up, and he had a hickey on his neck. Well, at that point it was pretty evident that he’d either cheated, or had been cheating. Once he sobered up, we had a talk, and he admitted that he’d become very hopeless regarding our relationship, that he’d given up, and felt like all we’re capable of doing is arguing anymore. He looked up an old girlfriend on Facebook – in fact, he said that she’s the woman who took his virginity waaaaaaaay back in the day, and he broke up with her back then, because he was 17 and she was 19 and she already had a child, and he didn’t want to be a dad. Nevertheless, he broke her heart, and for the past 17 years they’ve had no contact. He looks her up, they reconnect, and now he’s in a relationship with her. He tells me it feels like they never skipped a beat and they picked up right where they left off, and he’s in love with her, that he actually never stopped loving her.

    To complicate the situation even further, we’re still living together, and because I’m still in the process of getting back on my feet after the long period of unemployment, I’m not in a position to move out. I ordered your Pro book, and I really want to implement NC, and do everything right. I love this man very much, and we’ve had 2 years together. 2 years of daily contact, and a solid year of being constant companions – not to mention, he’s my very best friend. Anyway, I’m confused, and I don’t know how to go about doing things properly without messing up more than I already have.

    Right after I found out for sure that he’s been cheating, and ever since, for almost a week now, I’ve been very emotional, basically making a complete fool of myself. Crying, questioning him like the Spanish inquisition, being angry – I mean, I’ve really, really showed my ass. But still, he says he wants us to be friends, he doesn’t want me to leave, he wants to know that I’m safe. His new girlfriend says I can stay here as long as I move out of his bedroom and into the spare room and we live like roommates. This is all so very complicated and I”m so confused. I really need your help. I hope you can reply. Thanks in advance!! I feel better when I’m reading your page, so I’ve been camped out here πŸ˜‰

  12. Lost

    December 4, 2015 at 8:17 am

    My boyfriend broke up with me around a week and a bit ago, we had only been officially together for 10 months but have been very close and sometimes flirty friends for 4 years now, he was & still is my bestfriend. Were 18 & 17 years old and were eachothers first loves. He didnt really give me an answer for why he broke up with me, we never had any giant arguments or anything like that. But now were stuck in this weird stage where weve broken up but hes still messaging me goodnight texts with love hearts and saying he loves me. ive mentioned to him that it feels like he wants everything from the relationship without the commitment. Im just really confused, i still love him and i never wanted to breakup, what do i do, i really want us to be backtogether, i dont feel like we needed to breakup at all πŸ™ im scared if i ignore him he will think that i have hate towards him and move on. Please help, hurting so badly πŸ™

  13. Becki

    December 4, 2015 at 12:51 am

    Hi Chris! I am in a bit of a pickle. My best guy friend ( We were best friends for a year: texting constantly, Skype, talk on the phone, hanging out almost everyday)…and I started dating a month ago, and he broke up with me out of the blue through text after ignoring me for 4 days. I didn’t see it coming, because he was planning future events with me and seemed really happy and lovey. His excuse was that he would be “too busy” and “i deserve better.” He also wants to keep our friendship going! I don’t even know if no contact will work because our relationship only lasted a month. We were planning to meet up but I blew him off because I don’t want to make it too easy for him to see me. It’s been 2 weeks since the breakup, what options do I have?

    1. Becki

      December 9, 2015 at 1:30 am

      We were best friends for an entire year, then we became boyfriend and girlfriend for a month.

    2. Chris Seiter

      December 7, 2015 at 6:13 pm

      Was this your boyfriend or just a guy friend?

  14. Didou

    December 3, 2015 at 8:51 pm

    Hi Chris,
    I really need your help, my fiancΓ© broke up with me after the engagement party. To make it clearer, he and I were together for nine years. I loved him more than I can describe I made sacrifices for him. He was my idol. We were fighting about his way of seeing things. He Don t say sorry for nothing he didn’t appreciate things I made for him.he said that I am an angel ? and I am the perfect ?.So I loved him. I believed him. In 2012 get an apportunity to a good job in an other country, he told me that he must go to earn money for our future, that was hard for me but I encouraged him to go. That was the most hard year, I was counting days and nights.I got depressed , I missed him so much, he was texting me on facebook every day. I was so depressed, everything is dark, I told him that we must get married ? and go live with him…I was crying so he accepted just to make me calm.after 1 year he came but I was sad for the lost of my grandfather so I wasn’t ready for marriage. He didn’t ask me… He go back to work and during 2 years I was fighting my self to get calm and accept being away from him. I was telling him every thing. How I spend my day. How I feel…. Every thing I thought he was my soul mate. We get fight because he thought that I am angry all teatime for nothing. He told me that I should be the happiest girl I have every thing….but he get angry ? about everything I said he thought I was angry…..he arrived 2 days before the day he told me so I get mad and depressed because all the the day I was thinking that smthg bad happened to him..he didn’t Anderson’s that I love him and I need his attention..so he came for the engagement party and ask my hand from my parents. Then he just desepeared I was waiting for his call to say that he love me.but he didn’t. I called him he was happy but I was sad ? I blamed him but he didn’t get it. I told him that he maked me miserable and he can’t make me happy he can t do nothing I was crying. He told me that I m wrong and I hurt his feelings by my words…… After that he promise that he will call me and come meet me. But he lies. I called him, he didn’t pick up the phone. He text me and told me that he can t talk he needs rest, he is sad, every thing I believed is a lie.all the people are cruel…so I start calling for days and nights, but no responds, after a month of calling and begging by texting and apology.his mom call me and told me that everything is over…he won’t like me anymore…that was a choc for me…I called him on his phone of work he told me that his mom don’t do something like that, he know her. I was angry and sad but he didn’t tell me that he still like me. He just said that he needs rest and time he needs to be alone by himself. And he don’t even call or text…so I start the no contact rules for 30 days he didn’t try to contact me.. So I text him to ask about something on the Indesign.he text me back that he forget most tools but he will send me a tutorial Cd tomorrow. I was so formal…the next day he start sending me tutorials and ask me if I got them….after a day I was so mad and I remember my pain so I start saying things that he is airworthy of my love and he is greedy………. He didn’t respond.. When I get calm I asked him that I must take my stuff back. He told me that when he gets back he will deliver them for me… And we talked for 4 hours… I told him that we must forget every thing bad and start new beginning he was begging me to stop talking about engagement and love. He just need to be alone. He told me that I am a good woman but he couldn’t make me happy and he is sad because I hurt him by my words and he can’t forget the pain but he forgive me… So I did apology and told him that There is an other man that he want to get engage with me. And I told him that I wish him good ? luck..and I decided to restart the no contact and I unfreind him from Facebook…. Please Chris did I have a chance to get him back???thank you πŸ™‚

  15. Jessica Ren

    December 3, 2015 at 4:53 pm

    Hi Chris,
    So I ended up getting involved with this guy right after my divorce and although he has been out of his last relationship for about a year he was still hurting and very cautious. However we just clicked and we both developed feelings, he even told me he loved me at one point (he was very intoxicated). I ended up living with him for about 2-3 months waiting to get into my own place. So we were together for 4-5 months. And one day he said that he needed a little break and was going to take a step back. After about 2 weeks of not seeing him I kind of freaked out. And blew him up until he responded. He called me and said that time has a lot to do with it, and that I need a little time to be sure about what I want and focus on me. He says he doesnt’t think he is ready just yet for all this. He said I am the best woman he has ever met and that if its meant to be it will be. That I just need to give it time. Then he made the comment when you set something free and it comes back its yours. So needless to say I am hurt and confused. I harassed him for two weeks and after talking to him I realize I haven’t even given him a chance to miss me because I am always texting him. Do you think there is a chance, or is he just being a really big jerk? Sincerely-J

  16. Keira

    December 3, 2015 at 4:49 pm

    Hi Chris,

    My ex broke up with me last week after a 4 year relationship, and we still live together. We broke up because he felt like he noticed patterns in my behavior that he wasn’t happy with (i.e. playing devils advocate while helping him with his problems, and not being as supportive of him in his new career). Since the split, he has been staying at a friends house but we can’t break our lease for 3 more months.

    Since we still have to coordinate rent, bills, and him coming over to get his stuff how can I effectively do no contact right now? Also he hasn’t stopped initiating contact since we broke up. He always reaches out to me to see how my day is, but I feel like he’s using me as an emotional crutch to not have to deal with his choice. In the first couple days if I responded, he would try to initiate sexting and then eventually decide he couldn’t do that to me and cut it off. Which made me feel rejected and pitiful for playing into him. I learned quickly that I wasn’t going to let him do that. I’m day 3 of NC, but I feel like with him initiating contact I’m going to come off as a cold b**** for not responding at all. Is there a specific way to let him know I want NC without ruining the point of making him worried and possibly reconsider his decision?

    I want him to give me a second chance so I can show him that I can improve my communication style and be a better support system for him. He just held in his frustrations and never let me know how important those things were to him in a relationship until he got numb and disconnected.

    -Keira

  17. Brandi

    December 3, 2015 at 3:02 pm

    I seen a guy for 2 weeks, I know short time, however we fell in love! He was suppose to come live with me!! Then he stopped all communication. After I begged n cried for 4 days he messaged me n said there was nobody else, that I was great but that is how he is… He starts out good n gets close n scared n then runs… N that he is not fit for any relationship. However I still text him everyday n he replies n it’s mostly small talk… Help !!!

  18. Anna

    December 3, 2015 at 10:24 am

    Hi Chris,

    Sounds like you know your stuff so I’d really appreciate some advice. I was on/off (due to distance) with my, now, ex for three years. We were apart for a year, in which we both saw other people. He moved back to my city recently for a 6-month project and as we always stayed in touch, we naturally started hanging out. We then started being together again although never confirming that we were dating, we agreed not to see other people while we ‘figure it out’. After three months of this, I started asking where his head / heart was at, are we dating? His response was that he loves me but feels we will not last if we get back together but that he is confused, to give him time. I kept quiet about it for another month, we still hung out all the time, dinners, drinks, sleepovers etc. Although it was usually him initiating to meet, I felt something was off. So after this 4th month, I said that’s it, I don’t want to be with someone who can’t decide if he wants me. Next day, he said we should try again, but then the more we spoke, the more he went back into the ‘I’m confused but I love you’ mode. We hung out for one more week but I just couldn’t do it anymore, either we commit again or we move on and have chance to meet someone more suitable. I told him this and he finally admitted that he thinks something in him has changed and he has moved on but loves me very much and doesn’t want to lose me out of his life. I said fine, this is how you feel, let’s chill for abit, I’m sure we’ll find a way to be in each others lives. Last thing he said was ‘please be kind to me’ before I walked away. I had aimed of no contact until I was well and truly over it but he got in touch a week later (there was an evacuation around where I work and he was checking I was okay), he always said he hoped I was well. I didn’t reply. I don’t however want to be that childish person not replying, he didn’t cheat on me or wasn’t an assh*le, he was just not honest with himself about where he was. Anyway I also didn’t know how to answer. I do not plan on cutting him out of my life forever and I do want to have him in my life as a friend but I think the silence is best for me to heal right now. I do however count on him to be there for my in dire times of need, and I for him, so I feel I should reply thanking him for checking in when this office evacuation happened. It’s been three days since he texted. What do you recommend? Thanks Chris.

    1. Chris Seiter

      December 3, 2015 at 1:54 pm

      I know you don’t like the idea of ignoring or no contact but that is really the only way to change the situation. If your there for him at his every beck and call he will not value you as a girlfriend but more as a friend. And if you let him, a friend with benefits. He has to see what life is like without you and the only way to do that effectively is to go ghost. Don’t tell him your not going to talk to him just ignore him. Just remember it’s not forever. All you need to do is 21 days.

  19. Madeline

    December 3, 2015 at 9:15 am

    does that mean ghosting them? what should I do before doing the NCR for 30 days? I’m confused.

    1. BROKEN

      December 7, 2015 at 12:13 am

      Hi Chris, i was with my boyfriend for 9 years. a lot of ups and downs but i always tend to take the rough blows, forgive and continue to be with him.he has left the relationship twice. at one time actually got involved with another woman within 2 or 3 months and moved in with her 8 months later we were back together, he told me he did it to get over me but it didn’t work cause he still loves me. I just recently moved out of town he knew i wanted to for years. he has been back and forth being indecisive if he should follow. he recently told me he will join me but in the meantime paid me a visit. didn’t go well at all and now he says he would never move here and to go on with my life . he said he still loves me but and to take care..I truly love him and still want him but at times i feel ‘m cheating myself. I’m always in a position that the smallest things i do causes the big conclusions of his determination of being with me. if i counted on my fingers the times i could have just been done with him i could have written a book. but yet i continue to love him.

    2. Chris Seiter

      December 3, 2015 at 2:07 pm

      Ghosting means you don’t tell them anything you just go into no contact.You don’t do anything before the no contact rule. During the nc you work on yourself and start new hobbies etc.

  20. Aqsa

    December 3, 2015 at 4:34 am

    Hi. I had been in a relationship for the past 4 years. i got into a break up recently. I was doubting him that he was cheating. i asked him but he denied it. But the last time we had a talk about it he snapped at me that he is double dating. And he doesnt wants to be with me. I tried talking to him but he was adamant and did not want to listen to me. The thing is his parents will not agree for our marriage so he wants to break up with me. But i know he loves me and he also wants to get married to me. The thing is it was my birthday this month. And he was pampering me a lot. He was treating me very specially. We spent my birthday together and he was just awesome. i had even asked him on my birthday but he had said dont doubt me so much. Or then i will have to prove it to you that you are right. But just three days after my birthday we broke up. I tried talking to him for a day after that but he didnt change his mind. He said he will not call back. And doesnt want me to call back either. I think that just because i doubted him he got angry at me and told all this stuff. My friends want me to forget him. But we have a very strong connection. I want us to get back together. and i don’t seem to get any kind of good advice form anybody. Please help me. i have been following the no contact rule for last 4 days. But i am getting impatient now and i dont know till when i will be able to hold back. Please help me.

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