Without a doubt the most popular article on this entire website is the article I wrote three years ago about how to make your ex boyfriend miss you.

However, I have always felt that I didn’t really do a good job when I wrote that article.

After all, after three years you pick up a lot of new tricks that can lead people to success.

Well, this video is my way of making up for that short coming.

I would like to introduce the new version of how to make your ex boyfriend miss you (in video format!)

Video Transcript

Today’s a great day.

Because today is the day that I teach you how to make your ex boyfriend miss you.

I’m Chris Seiter and over the course of this video your going to gain the ultimate insight into the mind of a man.

See you on the other side.

We are going to start off today by talking about some of the reasons for why your ex boyfriend may not be missing you.

Now there are literally thousands of reasons but we aren’t going to cover thousands…

Instead all we are going to be doing is talking about the most popular reasons. The sins that I see committed the most.

Sin #1- GNATTING

So the first sin that gets committed the most is something I like to call,

GNATTING.

Now, GNATTING isn’t exactly what you think it is.

GNAWING is actually an acronym that stands for,

gnat

Going nuts at texting.

Now it is exactly like it sounds.

It’s basically when a woman, after a breakup, texts her ex boyfriend so much that he has no choice but to compare her to a GNAT.

If you’ve had any experience with the world then you have probably experienced the phenomenon of having GNATS fly around your head.

It’s quite annoying and no matter how many times you slap away at them they continue to buzz around.

Well, that’s how he looks at you.

He looks at you like annoying annoying bug… a mosquito… an annoying buzzing creature around his head that he can’t get rid of.

Sin #2- A Failure To Do The No Contact Rule

Now if you don’t know what the no contact rule is here’s a quick crash course.

It’s basically a small period of time where you ignore your ex boyfriend no matter what.

It really plays up on this saying of absence makes the heart grow fonder. And when you look at those three special words “I miss you” you can’t really miss someone if you are with someone.

And that’s what the no contact rule does.

It really plays off on this fact that absence does indeed make the heart grow fonder.

Sin #3- Bad Feelings Vs. Good Feelings

There’s a concept that I really want you to get through your head. It’s this idea that men are attracted to things that make them feel good and despise things that don’t.

So one of the reasons that your ex boyfriend may not be missing you is the fact that every time he thinks about you it makes him feel bad.

And I don’t know about you but there’s nothing I can think of in this world that made me feel bad that I miss. I don’t miss any experiences I have had that made me feel bad.

The good ones on the other hand… I miss.

It’s just common sense.

But the truth is that you don’t care about any of this.

You don’t care about any of the behaviors to avoid because what you care about is how to actually make him miss you.

And in order to understand that we must first talk about something that I like to call the non verbal missing emotion.

The Non Verbal Missing Emotion

Now, what is the non verbal missing emotion?

Well, I like to think of it as the emotion that causes you to miss someone. It’s something much more powerful than you simply saying “I miss you.”

It’s the thing that makes you anticipate the next text message your going to get from the person your in love with…

It’s the thing that causes you to pull out your phone and check it every five seconds for a response…

It’s the thing that makes you sit on the edge of your bed waiting for them to call…

It’s the thing makes you nervous before a date…

The non verbal missing emotion doesn’t go away until you are with the person and starts back up the second you leave that person.

It’s this endless cycle and the only way to feed the beast so to speak is to see the person.

Now, what I want to teach you is how you can give that feeling to your ex.

Alright, how to make your ex boyfriend miss you.

There are six things that I want to teach you. You can pick and choose which ones you like. I you don’t like what I say or if you don’t like a step feel free to skip it. But for the most part these are the six most effective steps that I’ve seen women use to make their ex boyfriends miss them.

The first thing is something I like to call the push/pull theory.

The Push Pull Theory

pushpull

The push pull theory is really popular among many relationship experts and forums. But I think a lot of people miss the gist of it.

A lot of people think it means that if you push your ex boyfriend away the more likely he is to try to pull you in.

But that’s not how it works.

The way it works is you push your ex away with something like a backhanded compliment or standing him up on a date and then after you’ve done the push you pull him in with a compliment or making him think he has a chance.

It’s this endless process where you push and then pull.

And the more this happens the more he will begin to miss you.

Because as you know… as I teach in Ex Boyfriend Recovery and throughout these Youtube Videos. Men love what they can’t have.

Now the second thing that you can do to make your ex boyfriend miss you is to highlight how great your life is on a social media site like Facebook.

Pimp Out Your Facebook

pimp out

A few years ago a Western University Masters Candidate published an interesting study. She found that 88% of people stalk their exes Facebook profiles after a breakup.

That means that there is an 88% chance that your ex boyfriend is going to stalk your profile.

So, while he’s stalking it why not pimp it out…

Why not control why he sees.

Make every event after your breakup the most incredible thing ever.

Why not post pictures of you have fun with your friends…

If you’ve got a new haircut post pictures of that…

If your going on vacation post pictures of that…

Heck, if you’ve lost weight post pictures of that…

The more you can show him what he’s missing the more he’s going to miss you.

The third thing that we’re going to talk about to make him miss you is to use jealousy.

Jealousy

jealousy

When it comes to jealousy it’s a little bit like playing with fire.

If you do it right it can keep you really warm and light things up but if you do it wrong you can burn down the entire forest.

So what I’m going to talk to you about today is the correct way to use jealousy and we are going to do this by using two tried and true methods.

So the first method is something I like to call the friend picture method.

We just got done talking about Facebook and the importance of posting incredible pictures with your friends and having a good fun time and we already determined there is an 88% chance that your ex is going to be Facebook stalking you.

So what if you posted a picture with a guy?

Well that’s fine but there is a right way to do it and a wrong way to do it.

Take a look at this picture.

This is an example of what not to do.

Notice how the guy is macking on the girl and its really evolved. We don’t want this.

This is going to scare your ex boyfriend off. It will make him jealous though but we don’t want to scare him off.

Now take a look at this picture.

This is an example of what to do.

Notice how nothing is really defined here.

There’s no kisses or inappropriate touching going on but it can make someone wonder if there is potential for it to happen.

And thats what we want your ex boyfriend to do.

We want him to wonder if theres potential for it and the more he feels jealous about this and believe me he will, sometimes when it comes to jealousy less is more, so the more he feels jealous about this the more likely he is to miss you.

Now the second example of jealousy that I am going to talk about is the jealousy text message.

There are a lot of different types of jealousy text messages but the one that I am going to talk about is my favorite one to use.

Imagine that you send your ex a text that you “ran into him” at a bar or someplace like that.

“Hey, was that you I saw at sherlocks?”

Well, he’s going to get that text and think,

“What the heck, I wasn’t at sherlocks last night?”

Thats exactly what you want him to think because he is going to be thinking that you are looking at other guys or that you are at a place where other guys can hit on you easily.

But finally your not out sobbing and depressed and eating a bucket of ice cream like he is hoping you are.

Again,

Jealousy = Him Missing You

The fourth type of missing tactic that we are going to use is helping him see what life would be like with you.

Show Him What Life Can Be Like With You

life with you

Now I am going to keep this really short because there are a million ways to do this.

I am going to just focus on something I like to call “the breadcrumb method.”

Now here is an example of the breadcrumb method.

One of my wifes biggest dreams in life was to go to Paris. So, when we were dating I would drop these little breadcrumbs like,

“Oh ya… we will go there one day.”

And the more I did this the more she began to imagine what life would be like with me.

She would envision us walking to the Eiffel Tower of watching it light up in the sky at night.

Fun fact… it actually does do that and we did actually go.

So the fifth missing tactic or strategy is the inception method.

The Inception Method

inception

Ok, it’s not really a dream within a dream.

Instead, the way the inception method works is you are going to take one of your ex boyfriends thoughts and inception it.

You are going to take ownership of it.

So, any time he thinks that thought he will think of you.

How does this work or how do you accomplish this?

Well, ill admit that it’s not an easy feat to accomplish but you need to start by having knowledge of things that he’s interested in.

His favorite TV show for example.

I want you to have really in-depth incredible conversations about his favorite TV show.

Game of Thrones for example.

Have something interesting to say. Not something boring like,

“Whoa did you see that episode?”

You need to talk in depth about it.

Talk about some of the epic moments that have occurred.

Some of the incredible set pieces.

Some of the incredible acting moments that have occurred.

Peter Dinklage as Tyrion..

Talk about that stuff.

Become his go to girl for Game of Thrones.

If your wondering if I have ever inceptioned a thought. Of course I have. I just talked about Paris in my wife and how we went there.

Well, now anytime she thinks of Paris she is going to think of me.

Can you inception one of your ex boyfriends thoughts?

That sounds kinda dirty.

Anyways, this last strategy is really easy. It’s having the ability to blow him off.

Blowing Him Off

blow him off

You’d be shocked at the amount of women who come to Ex Boyfriend Recovery and don’t have the ability to do this.

They are too afraid to blow their ex boyfriend off.

They are too afraid to “incur his wrath” but really what do they have to lose?

Remember, men want what they can’t have and a woman who responds to his text messages within seconds and a woman who picks up every single time he calls isn’t as highly valued as a woman who doesn’t do those things.

A woman who maybe waits three hours to respond.

Or doesn’t even pick up when he calls or waits until the next day to call him back.

Don’t be afraid to do some of that stuff.

Don’t be afraid to be unavailable.

If you do it he will miss you!

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172 thoughts on “How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You Video”

  1. Avatar

    Autumn

    November 9, 2017 at 7:32 pm

    So I am stuck and confused on what to do, my ex and i had been apart for several years when he started texting out of the blue, now a month and a half have gone by we have been doing good at building rapport, the other day he got really wild, he called me four times during the day and text me throughout the day too, it was kinda weird. LOL. Now however its been 3 days since I’ve heard from him. I figured he was rubber banding because he scared himself calling and texting me so much. So the question is, do I wait for him to initiate again? Or do I initiate a text?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 12, 2017 at 11:39 pm

      Hi Autumn,
      have you initiated by now?

  2. Avatar

    EBR Team Member: Amor

    July 7, 2016 at 3:15 pm

    you have to restart the count.. your chances will only increase if you really change for the better and if you do that more for yourself than for him.. if you just keep wondering if there are chances before being active, then of course there isn’t much..

  3. Avatar

    Nicki

    July 1, 2016 at 1:10 pm

    Hi there

    1. Avatar

      Nicki

      July 6, 2016 at 6:53 pm

      Do you think this will work nc and a good chance to get him back ?

    2. Avatar

      Nicki

      July 5, 2016 at 1:05 pm

      I am hoping he will reach out to me , I’ve done apologizing etc but I’m not just at fault he could be a little more understanding that when you make to many compliments not everyone is going to take it lightly . I pray every night for forgiveness and hope to his return . How long do I do this for ?

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 6, 2016 at 6:41 am

      one time sincere apology is enough and then live on our life because you would appear begging if you keep asking for forgiveness and you will lose your self respect

    4. Avatar

      Nicki

      July 4, 2016 at 11:40 pm

      And is this normal behavior for men to do this silent treatment thing ?

    5. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 5, 2016 at 5:38 am

      you can initiate after nc and it’s not just about being silent..it’s what you do and how you’ve really changed.. if he seess and talks to you would he notice the change?

    6. Avatar

      Nicki

      July 4, 2016 at 10:36 pm

      That makes some sense , I know he doesn’t like drama or confrontation , however he was over doing the compliments about mom I thought to much , though he says it was compliments to me , maybe I was over reacting due to pms that day, idk I hope doing this NC will make him think that ive calm down and ready to talk but I wait now for him to reply ?.

    7. Avatar

      Nicki

      July 4, 2016 at 12:49 am

      Do you think I have a chance of getting him back and the NC rule will work ?

    8. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 4, 2016 at 8:16 pm

      hi Nicki,

      sorry late reply..it just means I haven’t reached your comment yet.. maybe he really didn’t like what you said when the fight blew..but because of your messages, you appeared chasing him. so you really have to be busy with yourself durung nc because he has to see first that you’re rational enough to talk to again

    9. Avatar

      Nicki

      July 1, 2016 at 1:25 pm

      I need some advise on my story . I was dating this guy for 3months he lived 2.5 hrs awAy, but I knew him back in 2011. In this 3 months, we have had the best relationship , doing things we both like , we saw each other every weekend and because I wasn’t working we spent 4-5 days together his house or mine . He took me to Louisiana for a nice weekend away and to meet his family whom I found out liked me . All was good until my birthday we had a huge fight , over some compliments he gave to my mother who was visiting from overseas how good she looked for her age… Anyway, after this blew out of proportion , he decided to leave and said ” I need time to think “. Of course after a few days everyone told me to email him and text etc . I been doing all this and he has not responded to anything , nor has be blocked me now going on 3 weeks .. He has been reading my Facebook messages . I am not taking this very well because I feel I need closure of some sort of an answer . I have never experienced a man ignoring me and it hurts so bad because we had such a great connection and my mother even thought that . I miss him and scared he went back to his ex before me but not 100%. I have read the no contact rule and have not contacted him now for 6 days . What are your answers on this ? Please help !!

    10. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 1, 2016 at 5:49 pm

      Hi Nicki,

      Stick to nc and be productive in improving yourself..

  4. Avatar

    Char

    May 6, 2016 at 4:33 pm

    Hi Chris, first off I want to thank you for all your tips and advices from your website and your E-book. All your articles really did help me go through so many difficult times when I just got dumped by my ex. They really did calm me down and allowed me to sit down and think rationally about my situation.
    Me and my ex broke up about 3 weeks ago now. We were together for 3 years and we did broke up once before but got back together again. This is our second breakup. A few days ago he texted me asking how I am. I was hesitant to text back at first because I was determined to stick to the NC rule, but I just told him I was doing fine and didn’t continue the conversation with him after that. 2 days later he called me and asked if I would like to have dinner with him and I did go with him for dinner but we kept it short (an hour or so). During that dinner, we talked like how we used to before. I didn’t bring up anything about the relationship and neither did he. We were just happy to see each other. Just yesterday, our mutual friend asked us out for an NBA game and he and I met up again. After the game was over, he offered to send me home but I told him I can go home myself. He insisted on giving me a ride so I obliged. On the way home, he lowered the volume of the radio and told me he has something important to say to me. He said, “you are a very important person in my life, I don’t want to lose a good friend like you. I hope in the future I’ll be saying ‘I don’t want to lose a girlfriend like you or I don’t want to lose a wife like you’ but you know my situation now and I don’t have the capabilities to care for another person because I cannot even care for myself. I don’t want you to restrict yourself either.”
    You must be wondering what situation he is in right now. Ok, long story cut short, he was suspended from university for a year because he couldn’t keep up his GPA. He also has some financial difficulties with his both cars which he owns right now. He is currently jobless too and borrows money from his parents. The last few months of the relationship has been really stressful for both of us because he is always so depressed about so many things and I kinda became like a mother to him nagging him about stuff. I was so stressed out myself because I really cared for him and wanted him to get out of the mess he is in. I even stayed up late at night to help him to fix his car in the cold and even lend him money to pay for insurance bills as well. The breakup came as a surprise to me because I thought he would be grateful for all the things I’ve done for him.
    Anyways, he told me that he felt embarrassed for not being able to care and provide for me like how a man should. I felt really sad after that and I couldn’t sleep all night. Honestly, it didn’t mattered to me, all I wanted is to be with him through this difficult time.
    Now I feel like the 3 weeks of NC is going down the drain. After what he said last night I feel like I have to start all over again from Day 1 because it’s the same feeling I have as the day we broke up. I’m really at a loss at this point but I still want him back so badly. Chris, please enlighten me of this situation. I feel like I’m about to break.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 8, 2016 at 12:25 pm

      Hi char,

      so in reality, you have to be prepared that he won’t be getting back with soon but it’s still better if you proceed nc for yourself

  5. Avatar

    D

    March 21, 2016 at 8:08 am

    Is it possible for your ex to miss you even after being a Grade A GNAT post-breakup? Our relationship was short (2 months), but really great. Things only turned bad after the break up. I’m already 3 days into NC and I plan on sticking to it so I can work on myself and let both of us calm down.

  6. Avatar

    Confused

    January 19, 2016 at 6:23 pm

    Hi Mr. Seiter
    My situation is a little different. I dated a boy for 7 months, and it was wonderful. We became incredibly close; we only saw each other about once a week, but we agreed we didn’t want a serious relationship so it was fine. We broke up on November 30, but he insisted that we remain best friends and still spend time together often. In fact, he cried more than I did when we talked the break up out. That lasted for about a week; soon he faded away. I panicked, and did some desperate things. I tried talking to him in person a couple times, trying to work out a better situation (really I just wanted to get back together). He never really gave me a straight answer on why we broke up, he just said we had gotten too serious and that he doesn’t want a serious relationship right now. We are in high school and he will leave on a two-year church mission in June, so we don’t have much time left together. When we broke up, he told me he wasn’t going to date anyone else, he just wants to get to know a lot of people. I didn’t realize it until after we broke up, but I love this boy and I know that I want him in my life.
    I didn’t find this website until after I’d made so many mistakes. Should I still do a period of no contact? We’ve had some contact in the past weeks; I respond to his messages when he texts me, and we are friendly when we run into each other. Obviously we’ve been broken up for a while now. I can see that he is on his phone a lot now through SnapChat, I’m assuming with a new girl. He contacts me too, but not as often.
    How should I approach this?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 21, 2016 at 1:33 pm

      Hi Confused,

      Don’t assume. It will just make you worry. Correct me if I’m wrong, He doesn’t want a serious relationship because of his church mission? If he is really serious about not getting into a serious relationship, then if he gets into another or back to you, it won’t be serious again. If ever, is that ok with you? If he contacts you now, why not take it as an opportunity to build your friendship? Build good memories. You don’t need to be girlfriend boyfriend to do that. YOu may not be as romantic but at least you give him something to remember and to go back to when he’s done in his church mission.

    2. Avatar

      Confused

      January 19, 2016 at 11:13 pm

      I should also mention that our relationship went through phases… There would be periods of two weeks or so that he’d be all over me, and other times where he wouldn’t contact me at all. I think it’s most likely because of church teachings (for his mission prep) or his parents, but I’m not exactly sure. Maybe he broke up with me during a phase? Right after the break up he was not on his phone at all, I’m assuming due to church advisement (don’t want him addicted to his phone… I know it’s crazy.) But now he’s back on it all the time, which makes me think he went through a strict church phase. Also, I should mention that when we broke up he said that he thought we would date when he gets back from his mission, and that this is just a “break,” which I believed until he stopped contacting me as often. For a couple weeks after the split, he still invited me to church activities and group hangouts, but that has since ceased. I think it’s very unlikely that we will officially be “together” again, but I want to get back to the close relationship we had and perhaps be together without being “official,” as I think he is under advisement from his parents and church that he shouldn’t be in a steady relationship. I miss him so much, but I don’t know how to approach this situation. I’m not even sure he misses me, to be honest. I’ve been ignoring his messages for the past couple days, but I don’t know if that will just push him further away or not. I’m not sure if it’s best to just play the “friend” for now and try to regain our close bond, or if I should make it clear that I’m not okay with us not being a couple even though I’m fairly certain we won’t be a couple again before he leaves. I’m so lost!!

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 21, 2016 at 3:25 pm

      You know one mistake I made when I was in your age was that I didn’t say what I’m about to say, to a boy who liked me. He wants a label in the relationship but I was too young and I don’t regret now repeatedly saying no to him. If I can go back, I would still say no but that pushed him away. I could have said that good memories between a boy and a girl is not based on labels. We can still go out and spend time together even if we’re just friends. He can’t kiss me of course, but good memories is not composed of kisses. Actually, he gave me good memories while trying to get me to say yes and none of it has kissing in it! 🙂 We did hug though!
      So, what I’m saying is, you’re not going to be “just friends” forever. You’re “just friends just for now”. Patience comes with maturity. So, I understand why you have this nagging feeling of now.

  7. Avatar

    Yvonne

    January 17, 2016 at 8:34 am

    Hi Chris!
    First of all I’d like to tell you that this website is great and the things you say are completely true.
    Last year my ex added me on Facebook (we spent a year and a half without seeing each other as we were in a fight). I didn’t want to talk to him because I was hurt and angry, but I wanted to see why he added me so I asked him with accepting the friend request. He apologised for his behaviour and said he realised he did it wrong (we broke up because of a gossip our colleagues made up about me being a bad person which wasn’t true, and during the discussion we had a huge verbal fight and I said things I shouldn’t have but I was hurt… I tried making peace for the next month but he said he didn’t want to see me nor talk to me).
    We started texting for chitchat and after two weeks he was hitting on me (we live in two different cities now) by giving me compliments on my smile, my knowledge and… legs (which he pretty much adores) At first I hesitated because I didn’t want to get back on that track, I was afraid of getting hurt so I acted as if it was nothing important. But then I realised I missed our time together and memories came back to my mind. I had to go to his city for work and he invited me to stay at his place. We spent the night kissing but no sex because of thin walls and roommates and because I wasn’t ready for it yet, it was too soon. In the month which followed our encounter, he acted as if he was into me again and wanted to see me again but we never managed to find a day which could suit both. The next month he became cold and when I asked why he said he started dating someone from his city. This was pretty hurtful so I didn’t text him anymore. To “solve” my problem, I went on Google and found your website by chance. I must say that I thought the NC rule was not going to work but I accepted the challenge. Those were the toughest 30 days ever but I managed to “survive”. I followed your advice on the texting and it worked, he was back in the chase although he was dating this girl. He started hitting on me again but I didn’t want to share a guy with another woman so I told him I wanted a commitment otherwise we could be just friends. He went for friends and for me it was ok. I went on holidays and stayed for a month, followed your advice on showing my happiness and how fun the hokiday was turning out to be, took pics with my guy friends… and he started texting and asking about my time there, if I was happy and so on. I kept it simple, didn’t get into long conversations and didn’t give too many details and would end up conversations by saying I wasin a hurry for a party and similar. After just two weeks he started asking about the day I was coming back from the vacation and I would reply with “soon”. When I came back he texted me asking if I was into spending the night with him. I wasn’t thinking at the time so I said yes. After a month of texts and plans we managed to organise and meet up. He came to my city andit was perfect. He was loving and caring, he said “I forgot how beautiful it was to spend the night with you”. We talked and had a great time together but none of us spoke about the future. Honestly, I was afraid of speaking about future because I didn’t know what I wanted. The following morning he left and as soon as he left I realised I wanted him back in my life, I wanted to spend every morning by being woken up with his hugs and kisses on the cheek, but I sort of wanted to be sure about it. So I waited for a month and gave myself time to think. We kept texting but about work and weather and my famiky issues. It looked like if he was no longer hitting on me and I wasn’t hitting on him although I wanted… I was just afraid of him saying no to me and this time his possible “no” would’ve hurt more than before because this time I was in love. I knew he was still single but I didn’t say I wanted him back although I wanted. The next two and a half months we texted but on my initiative only and not as often as before. I finally became brave, bought the tickets to go and see him so I texted him a couple of days ago to see what he was doing and he said he was seeing a girl. This broke my heart but I followed my mom’s advice and told him I was planning on going to his city nex weekend but things changed. He asked why, and we started texting about meeting up, he wanted to have sex. I was ok with it because I thought he was going to leave this girl but the following day he texted me saying it was bad timing and he couldn’t cheat on her because he likes her and they’ve been seeing each other for two months. I told him I didn’t know about that and that I would like to call him to talk about something important (but now I don’t know what to tell him. I would like him to know that I love him but I don’t think this would make him leave her to be with me). I even told him that I’ll go to his city anyway because I love travelling. We arranged the call for today so I went once again on your website to see what to do in order not to sound pathetic and not to lose him again. Now I understand I did everything wrong in the last four months and that I should’ve acted earlier. I love him and when I think about him kissing another woman my heart hurts. I want him back because he is the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with but I don’t know what to do. Please help me out!
    Best
    Yvonne

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 17, 2016 at 11:06 am

      Hi Yvonne,

      I hope this post helps you again this time. How to get a long distance boyfriend back if he has a new girlfriend

  8. Avatar

    Kylee

    January 5, 2016 at 7:48 am

    My boyfriend of 5+ years broke up with me a few weeks ago. I’ve been doing this NC rule after having found this website along with others (I had no idea this was a thing people followed since it was my first breakup). He was the one who ended it and started the break up with “I love you, but…” and later followed with “I still want you in my life. I don’t want to cut you off”. So confusing!

    Well I had to move out of the apartment since it would be emotionally stressful for us to live together (he offered to pay my rent so that we don’t sabotage the lease). A lot of our shared stuff are still there, but I had to move a lot of my personal furniture and had to sell the mattress and bed that we shared (he has a new one now). I’m incredibly confused. I can’t tell if he misses me at all. He has no social media presence since he is not that type of person. I am trying to mentally prepare myself for a scenario that he will not want me back, but keep an open mind if he’s willing to reconcile. Everything is too uncertain.

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    Lauren

    January 3, 2016 at 6:02 pm

    Hi Chris, I like to know what I should do when a guy gets complacent in a relationship? Do I do NC too? Thanks.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 18, 2016 at 9:58 am

      Hi Lauren,

      I think youbdon’t have to. You just need variety or find an activity that you enjoy yourself for you to grow and for him to miss you

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    Stacy

    January 3, 2016 at 1:43 am

    I was dating my boyfriend for 5 years, and we recently broke up. There was a lot of fighting in those 5 years, but there was also a lot of love and tons of chemistry! A few days ago, I went over to his house and things were great, like old times… but nothing was discussed. He even told me he loved me. Now fast forward a few days, and he won’t return my texts or calls. Help!!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 17, 2016 at 10:05 am

      Hi Stacy,

      I think it’s time you do NC and if ever he invites you over , dont go.

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    Vicky

    December 25, 2015 at 7:11 pm

    Hey Chris,

    whats you outlook on the guy saying things like “I’m sure you will have no prbolem picking someone up” or “There is plenty of other men (who will do this/that)”, “You’ll find someone great” etc.
    It’s really weird and upsetting to see such texts during/after a breakup about him being okay with me seeing other people and trying to encourage me to. and it’s happened a few times. Is he being serious?
    It’s also not the first time he’s broken things up, but this time feels dangerously final after hearing the below:

    We were in an LDR and his argument was, that’s his feelings bascially emptied out, that he doesn’t think we are compatiible.
    Can you make more posts about LDR please???

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    Vick

    December 25, 2015 at 7:09 pm

    Hey Chris,

    whats you outlook on the guy saying things like “I’m sure you will have no prbolem picking someone up” or “There is plenty of other men (who will do this/that)”, “You’ll find someone great” etc.
    It’s really weird and upsetting to see such texts during/after a breakup about him being okay with me seeing other people and trying to encourage me to. and it’s happened a few times. Is he being serious?

    We were in an LDR and his argument was, that’s his feelings bascially emptied out, that he doesn’t think we are compatiible.
    Can you make more posts about LDR please???

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    Ss

    December 23, 2015 at 8:48 pm

    I’ve been visiting your page for about a week now, reading almost every article. I just need some serious advice.
    My ex boyfriend and I had been dating for 3 and a half years (High school sweethearts). Honestly hands down the best relationship you could imagine, rarely fought talked about our differences sorted through issues in a timely manner. Always on the same page with everything because we clicked so well. Trusted him with my entire heart. His roommate recently got engaged, and I think that flooded him with emotions of “oh my goodness, is this what I want in life?” He truely wanted to go on a break to do some soul searching, but I was lead to believe that he was debating our relationship. Then we started fighting more and more. (In September) He mentioned that he was thinking of proposing, and that it was hard to imagine it now that we are fighting constantly. We then decided to completely break up in Novemebr. We would only go a few days without talking, and me pushing him farther away. Him saying I don’t want this negativity in his future, which I understand. I sunk into a very low place, and tried to drag him down with me. Bad idea!! I became in contact with his mom, and we have a very close relationship, her telling me just give him time. So, the last time we met up to meet wwas the first week and December and got into the worst fight we’ve ever been in. We didn’t talk for a week, I caved and begged and told him I understand everything that it wasn’t about us, it was about him. But I turned it into us. He is very confusing saying things like “I don’t see us getting back together,” I would ask if that was because you want moRe time and he replied with yes, and then a couple moments later would say “I do see us working out.” I went on the NC, and made it to day 11, and called twice and he ignored me. I’m continuing with the NC. I talked to his mom this morning and told her I’m giving it up, it’s only hurting me. She mentioned that he said “I don’t even want to go there, because I’m afraid it will end up with us fighting again.” I know he misses our 3 year relationship, and who we were when we were together. Just not the fighTing. I know I need to do NC, but I’m afraid he’s been talking to someone else, and afraid he may be too far gone. He is very stubborn.

    1. Avatar

      Ss

      December 25, 2015 at 7:33 pm

      I shot him a text asking if he was angry with me, because the last time we talked we were “okay. ” he said “I’m sorry for being rude with this, I don’t really want to talk, I’m simply trying to protect myself. ” I replied with, “You’re not being rude, you’re doing what you need.. I’m just glad you’re not angry with me. I’m sorry you feel the need to protect yourself, but I agree 130%, I don’t ever want to let us get to where we were these last couple months ever again..I’ll let you be, and if you feel talking or hanging out let me know,”
      He didn’t reply. I wasn’t expecting a reply. But I do know the holiday season without him has been very challenging.

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    K

    December 18, 2015 at 6:46 am

    And great sense of humor! lol Thank you!

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    Lilian

    December 18, 2015 at 6:26 am

    Very nice article! All of your articles are very helpful, thank you Chris!

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    Kristin

    December 14, 2015 at 6:57 am

    Me and my ex were trying to work stuff out and it was long distance, he begged me to work stuff out and I eventually agreed he’s been great attentive and all but come to find out he got his other ex pregnant and conveniently didn’t tell me she’s nearly 5 months so I cut off all contacts it’s going on 3 weeks! My friend and her aunt could tell he was really in love with me by his actions and the way he treated me in public but he couldn’t find the balls to tell me his mistake! I don’t want help getting him back but I do want help to make him regret what he did and make him think about how he lost out on a good thing! Is their any advice I can get to make him always wonder and live in regret!

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    Stephanie

    December 14, 2015 at 6:30 am

    Hi Chris –

    I’ve thoroughly enjoyed reading your articles and listening to the podcast so far. They are very helpful. I’m having a hard time applying a lot of the information to myself. My Ex and I have zero contact. We don’t text or talk since he moved out and called off the engagement and I’m really unsure how to open that door back up.

    We didn’t have a bad break up… We went through a rough six months where a very unfortunate sequence of events took place. I was unhappy at work, we got engaged (not unfortunate), he developed epilepsy just weeks after proposing & his seizures were very rough… 3 months after he proposed he left… and I’m at a complete loss as to what to do.

    1. Avatar

      Stephanie

      December 14, 2015 at 6:33 am

      I should add that we’ve been apart for a 6 months and have only talked once regarding logistical stuff, I asked how he was but it was all surface conversation.

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    Maggie

    December 13, 2015 at 4:53 pm

    Dear Chris,
    Good day to you. I just bought your ex boyfriends recovery PRO. I am a bit confuse with my situation. I have a 5 months relationship with my boyfriends right after he broke off with his 10 years relationship ex. This are going too fast and we love each others, but after few month he started change his mind and he started hiding our relationship with his friends and family due to some stupid reason that they are very stubborn to accept our relationship. I am 10 years older than him. He tell me wanted to be alone, I was freak out and begging him and cry in front of him, started to give up myself by just wanted back with him. He found out his ex is not moving on, they meet up again, but he tell everything to his ex about how good I treat him. I try NC rules and finally I have break the NC rules after 4 days, and we have sleep again. I wanted to calm him and afraid him to rejected me, so I say to him that I will accept what ever decision that he wanted to make. He tell me that he still love me but he just wanted to be alone because his hand fully of guilt between me and his ex and he is hurting both side. We spend a good day together, but still he is giving me a hint that soon or later I should tell my family that about our broke up. I did not directly as him our situation now, but seem he don’t want me to feel sad and he feels hard to reject me, when I ask him what he want, he tell me he wanted to be alone. Seem we are in the very calm situation and just like broke off, do you think I still can use the NC rules again? I feel so regret not to continue your NC rules at the first place, because when I break the rules and meet up him he confess that how much he miss me, and how much he think about me. He started talk in the group chat we use to have mutual friends, seem he is looks more happy that I accept whatever decision that he makes. Do I still have changes, can you give me some advice?

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    m

    December 11, 2015 at 7:40 am

    Hi
    So my long term partner just broken up with me. I can’t stop feeling really hurt. Said it’s temporary. Wants his stuff to stay at my house and space and that he needs a week of no contact. So I’m giving it him. I did text him at first but no contact started yesterday and I’m hanging in there. The thing is he said he needs to sort his head out. And I’m really confused and slightly scared. When a guy says temporary to sort his head out do they normally come back?
    I think he still loves me because he expressed emotion yesterday and said he’s not looking for other girls either.
    I really need help it would of been 4 years today.

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    Nana

    December 10, 2015 at 9:25 am

    what you said in this video are all true. thank you for doing this

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 10, 2015 at 1:54 pm

      Your absolutely welcome! I have fun doing them too. You can comment on the YouTube comment section to let me know what you’d like to see next as a topic and I’ll be able to see it faster.

      Thanks for watching! I’ll be posting weekly videos.

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