How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back If You Slept With Him- Ex Boyfriend Recovery

554 thoughts on “How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back If You Slept With Him”

jane

March 11, 2017 at 4:47 am

Long distance ex boyfriend and I broke up a month ago. I followed the NC rule for two weeks until he relentlessly texted me about rekindling our friendship–we did not have a terrible breakup, and broke up on circumstances (long distance). I visited him a few days ago and we met up several times, and ended up having sex the last night I was in his town. I feel like I screwed up my chances of ever getting him back or him being slightly interested in me. Should I even be hopeful towards us anymore? I am increasing my NC to 45 days and even deleting all social media apps so I cant check on him. I feel as if I have ruined all chances of him being attracted to me emotionally again.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 14, 2017 at 5:25 pm

Hi Jane,

I think it’s not yet too late.. Try the advice above first..that’s good that you’re sticking to nc, but later on, maybe after a week, reactivate your social media accounts because you need to be active in posting..

Gabby

February 28, 2017 at 7:11 am

Hi guys, just out of curiosity… when you say ‘sleep’ with your ex, are you ONLY referring to all the way? For example what if someone had made out with their ex, it escalated to other things yet it didn’t go to ‘fourth base’? Thought that would be interesting to know 🙂

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 28, 2017 at 8:30 pm

Hi Gabby,

yes, that means all the way.. Don’t go all the way nor have oral sex..

E

February 23, 2017 at 2:02 pm

Okay so me and my ex broke up and I was playing hard to get and it was working, he was messaging me for a whole week and I was ignoring him to make him see what he was missing. I wasn’t sure if it was that he just wanted sex or to try again, I really want him back!! and then I was emotional one day and chose to reply to him… then he said he wanted sex and friends and not a relationship but I stupidly gave him what he wanted and we slept together. He got emotional and he stayed the night too. It’s clear he just wants friends with benefits but I really want a relationship and I think he might too down the line. I kind of want to carry on friends with benefits because I love spending time with him so much and it might make him fall in love with me all over again. When I was ignoring him it was like I was no longer an option so he got scared and did the chase. But I stupidly then gave him what he wanted… and now he might not commit?? I don’t know what to do because but I do really really want him back. I have read the article but what I don’t get is how do you do the first change saying no sex but then also do the second change of teasing them and dangling sex in front of them. Dont they contradict each other? Any help appreciated

E

February 25, 2017 at 10:22 am

Hi Amor,
So I am not having sex with him again and I told him that. Cause the conversation got a bit funny I ended up telling him that for me it’s a relationship or nothing. I don’t know if I should have done this but now I’m scared cause he told me straight out he doesn’t have any intention of going back into the relationship. I really want him back and can tell his feelings are confused cause yes he seems very desperate for sex but he doesn’t want it with anyone else and says its so good with us cause of the feelings. I am now trying non contact rule again with him but finding it so hard because I am cycling round and round in my mind whether I made the wrong decision calling it off! Cause if I’d have agreed to be friends with benefits, or carried on as we were which was chatting every so often as friends and then I was replying like “it’s possible” or “I’ll have a think” when he offered sex…. then maybe I would be closer to him coming back. It’s just I took the advice that I shouldn’t give him what he wants cause then he has now reason to commit. I’m so so stuck on what to do cause everyone is telling me he’s being a jerk just wanting me for sex when I want him for so much more than that and he’s taking advantage of my feelings but I do know he’s not that kind of guy and I just really want him to see that what he’s asking for: friends, exclusive, sex, emotions is basically the same as a relationship so I don’t understand why he’s so scared of one. How do I get him back?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 25, 2017 at 10:14 pm

nope, it’s better to start the no contact rule because staying to talk will more probably make you friendzoned and doing the no contact rule drives the point that you value yourself and your standards. Be active. Improve yourself, do new things, be productive and be active in posting in social media. Even if there’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work, it’s always a better option to choose your values.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 23, 2017 at 9:16 pm

Hi E,

don’t sleep him with him again, because it’s already hard to get out being friends with benefits, if you keep doing it you’re devaluing yourself. Teasing him means talking about sexy stuff sometimes when there’s already rapport built but if he asks, say no. You can say no in a cheeky way like, “Well, that’s actually reserved for the VIP only. Unless you want a VIP pass?” kinda like that.

LL

February 20, 2017 at 1:14 pm

Hey,

I’m doing no contact after seeing my ex after the break up. First time I saw him again he said he didn’t have the same feelings anymore but did have fun.. I think I turned him off with being needy for 3 weeks after the break up. I don’t think he’s feeling a spark anymore and said he couldn’t say why , just that I have my life and he has his and they didn’t seem to connect ( it was ldr) .

Is it even possible for him to change his mind? I told him I understood and would let him go this time, but I can’t really.. is it even possible to get someone back when he isn’t feeling it anymore?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 21, 2017 at 5:59 pm

Hi Ll,

I’m not sure if you saw my reply in your first post. So, I’m going to paste my answer there here. To add to your question, yes, it’s possible to get an ex even after they fell out of love or moved on.

Hi LL,

try the no contact rule first.. even if you stopped 2 weeks ago, if it was not focused in improving yourself restart the count, and then do at least 30 days.. after that slowly rebuild rapport.

Patti

February 17, 2017 at 6:42 am

Hey guys,

So me and my bf met in Asia a year ago (we both are from Europe, different countries). We’ve been together since then, mostly traveling and he broke up with me over 3 months ago (reason: he didn’t want to be in any relationship). I did 30 days nc, we’ve been texting on and off since then, but it was hard to meet since we’ve been living in different countries.

The big suprise is that now I just came back to the place where we’ve met and it turned out that he is here to! He reached out to me first, asking for a meeting. But then he start giving me mixed signals, we went out once and then he didn’t want to hang out that much. I wasn’t pressuring, but I was suprised what’s going on, he couldn’t verbalize his thoughts and then suddenly he throw himself at me kissing me and hugging, felt like he missed me big time and we ended up having sex. It was great, and he told me that I’m the the only one in the world who makes him feel so passionate.

But the next day he didn’t want meet at all, he went out to a bar with his friend. So my question is – we have just 6 days left in this place, and it will be probably long time till we’ll be in the same city again. How should I act? Try to meet with him again or ignore?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 17, 2017 at 8:26 pm

Hi Patti,

frankly, that doesn’t look good.. It’s like he just wanted a booty call.. If he does ask for a hang out again, go, have fun, but don’t sleep with him again.

Arya

January 31, 2017 at 12:32 am

I was dating a guy for 2 months and we broke up a month ago. Our relationship wasn’t great and was more driven by sex from his side. I on the other hand was completely into him

He recently contacted me saying he wants a casual sex situation with me and is not ready for a relationship.

I dont know what to do because i dont want to end up getting hurt again by being a friends with benefits

Arya

February 1, 2017 at 2:15 am

I did the no contact rule before he started contacting me. But i have realized I have engaged too much in conversation with him and I should have just ignored him.

But obviously, because I was so attached to him it is hard to do no contact. And after me begging him to take me back, it feels good to see him coming back to me, even if it is just sex. Sounds stupid, I know.

Should i go back to no contact? I have just told him i’ll think about it. Which i won’t because I dont want fwb, but just to keep him on the edge.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 1, 2017 at 2:28 pm

yeah, I think you should restart nc and focus in improving yourself.
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 31, 2017 at 3:21 pm

Hi Arya,

then dont..dont agree to that.. are you going to do the no contact rule?

Allie

January 24, 2017 at 1:02 am

Hi. My ex recently contacted me last year after not hearing from him for 2 years. Our relationship ended in 2015. However, in the back of my mind I always hoped we would get back together. Our communication has been sparse since then. He recently moved back home and we started talking more. We hung out over Christmas and this past weekend. However, he doesn’t respond to many texts. We were together this weekend and everything seemed fine. Today I told him good luck at his new job and that it was good seeing him. I’m now blocked. I still have big feelings for this person and want to see where things could go. When we were together we had talked about marriage and were always happy. I don’t know how to get through again especially without feeling used and now that I have no way of communicating.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 24, 2017 at 1:52 pm

Hi Allie,

proceed to 30 days no contact period.. Be active in posting even if you’re blocked.. He’ll probably realize he made a rash decision of just blocking you.

Fifi

January 23, 2017 at 1:28 pm

Hi EBR, within the two months period post breakup, im having limited contact periodically. in this period i’ve traveled together with my ex and spend the weekend and slept together over the spending time together too. however he is acting distant to me. On weekdays we were not talking at all, and to some weekend. i tried inviting him one day for dinner and the response i got was kinda cold (No thx, not tonight). since this text replied i got last thursday, i stopped contacting him. should i go on for a NC? Will i have a chance to win him back?

fifi

April 17, 2017 at 2:20 am

Well noted…I am really glad your thoughts on all of my curiosity with my ex! appreciate it a lot!

I am actually active with my life, on top of slowly building rapport with him…

Tried to contact him again on some event yesterday (i thought he would be interested to go since our friend performed for the show). It was a missed call, as soon as he received the call he called me right after. Throughout our conversation, he doesn’t sound cold (i really thought he would not return my call due to me revealing my emotions with the “I miss you” text)… He really wanted to join us, but he couldn’t so he suggested I took a video of the show and send it to him (which i did!).

My flatmate told of the emotional “I miss u” indifferent reaction from him – he think he is no longer interested and i should just move on…

Another friend suggested -I still have hope with my ex for the fact that he ignored the “I miss u” text and still talking to me normally (I got a free pass, but to not reveal my emotion again in the future)… and i should show my ex i don’t need a man to be happy, and make it seem that I don’t need him.

What do you think?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 22, 2017 at 1:40 pm

The second advice is better
fifi

April 14, 2017 at 6:23 am

…..beside, after 2-3 days if no respond at all…what should i do?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 16, 2017 at 7:35 am

the average span of the success stories are actually 4-6 months.. so, it’s not that long yet.. but I think, since you said that to him, he has to think, you know that you’re not really rushing.. go back to being more active in your life while slowly building rapport with him..
fifi

April 14, 2017 at 1:22 am

From Mid-Feb til to date….its been such a long time….and on Thursday I texted him “Suddenly i feel like I’m missing you”… and he didn’t reply to this…what should i do now?
Fifi

April 12, 2017 at 4:04 am

So, i stopped contacting him for a week since the last time i talked just to test the water and to let him chase me after our last meet up…and i got a missed call from him midnight last night…

I actually called him in the morning,
He knew I’m not the person who play game but I’ll definitely wait a few days the next time…

So I asked “I thought I saw a missed call from u…”
Then he said “Yes. I was gonna ask you about something then I found out….I hope it doesn’t wake u up…”
Then I’m like…”I was already asleep…”
Then he was like….”alrighty…we catch up at some point later?”

I said “Sure”

Then he said “you have a good day!”

I told him same to u!

Conversation ends
His voice tone isn’t cold at all…..I was wondering why he still wanna catch-up and ask some random things midnight… what is your thought on this?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 13, 2017 at 6:09 pm

let’s wait for 2-3 days.. how long have you been trying to build rapport?
fifi

April 3, 2017 at 10:26 am

So, he texted me yesterday and asked for a dinner (i agreed to meet him since I am available last night, although it took me 3 hours to reply him with a ‘yes’). we had good conversation over dinner speaking about what we’ve been up to since the last time we met. he told me of the girl whom he was with in Indonesia for the weekend (it was his good friend in his home country sister traveling that joined him), but i didn’t talked about anything of my date whom his good friend knew (i feel that his good friend told him about me going out on a date whilst he was away, maybe it could be the reason why he decided to have dinner with me!). In overall, he is getting more comfortable and open up with me since our last met. he asked opinion on moving to different places, and we took the same ride home before we parted ways from his apartment compound. I got kisses from his lips to my cheeks when we parted ways. Is there a possibilities or chance to be back together at this stage?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2017 at 3:02 pm

if you could build up the rapport and attraction, yes.
fifi

March 31, 2017 at 2:11 am

Thanks Amor, I am just gonna wait until he text me next week for this meeting (and wait for sometime to reply to him) and all meet up will be based on my availability. He probably backed out for this meeting this week cos he is guilty for not letting me know that he was actually with a girl during his trip in Indonesia, cos he told me he was alone). Even if i made it on the agreeable date & time im gonna squeeze in between going somewhere to show him that i am a busy person.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 31, 2017 at 9:12 pm

ok, you’re welcome!
fifi

March 30, 2017 at 1:11 am

So i invited him for dinner on Wednesday for a catch-up, but only to find out on Wednesday noon that he asked to postponed, he mentioned he prefer to meet next week. I just told him “Cool, lets see next week then”. Should i wait for his text for the meetup next week or I could ask him in the middle of the week of next week?
Some friends thought that i should just move on, because he doesn’t really show a sign of wanting me back after 3 months breaking up, and it is always me who ended up initiating conversation
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 30, 2017 at 5:45 pm

dont adjust to his sched.. have a laid out sched for yourself..if he asks again, tell him you’re not available that day and then mention a different day thats good for you.. If it’s not good for him, that’s ok. Go out that day and post.. Have the upper hand. It’s ok to initiate.. what matters more is how the convo went and how you ended it
fifi

March 27, 2017 at 1:50 am

Hi Amor, so i am still trying to build a rapport with him, however i found out he traveled to Indonesia together with a girl (not sure if they’re just friends or dating) and stayed together in the same hotel. He mentioned to me he was traveling alone for this trip…Then on Saturday I asked how is his solo traveling, he said he will let me know…on the other hand, i met a guy from tinder and was hanging out twice with him, only to find out that he is connected to one of my ex good friend in town (he stayed at my friend good friends house over the weekend). This tinder guy even told his friend that he is meeting me on his last night in town before he travel to China. Obviously this news will fly to my ex soon. Will he be jealous (he is introvert and it wasn’t my intention to make him jealous) when he found out, and will completely moved on once he found out? I think i am in a complicated situation now, and my ex is not knowing that i knew he was with that girl on his weekend travel in indonesia. really appreciate if you could advise me on this. Thanks!
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 28, 2017 at 2:32 pm

he’ll probably get jealous but he’s with another girl too, so he’ll probably think it’s just fair that you date around
fifi

March 20, 2017 at 3:48 pm

thanks Amor! most people told me to just moved on but im still putting a hope to make things work..

recently i traveled out of the country and let him use my car when he agreed for it…he sent the car to the garage when im away and paid for the service fee whilst using it daily when im away.

upon returning the car, he gave me an expensive bottle of wine, without me knowing about it! beside, i surprised him with the souvenirs i bought from my travels

additionally,he seek my advice on hotel booking for his weekend travel and booked the hotel based on my recommendation.

looks like a good progress…when should i initiate the talk. should i keep going this way or start preparing for the talk? im in no rush. but im worried his feeling will fade away..

hope you could advise.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 24, 2017 at 8:24 pm

keep building up rapport for now..check this one:

How To Ask Your Ex Boyfriend To Be In A Relationship With You
Fifi

March 7, 2017 at 2:13 pm

We met on Sunday to return his keys and talked about what we’ve been up to Since the last time we met.He is more comfortable and opened up now. At the end of the meeting He said he’s happy to hear all the news & updates from me since the last time we met over the last 2 weeks. It seems more positive than the last time we met! I Told him dont be a stranger. He flirted with me needed to see me naked when I asked if I lost weight. (Is this a sign of wanting sex?)
I caught him staring at me a few times too! (What is your opinion on staring?)

In overall it is a good second meetup. However I felt it’ll take a long time if he ask or chase me back to be in the relationship. What is your opinion?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2017 at 10:40 am

it will really take time..thats5 why you can’t stop what you started during nc to establish that you’re really not the person he used to know… those are all good signs..you can flirt just dont sleep with him..
fifi

March 3, 2017 at 9:26 am

so after a few days of initiating contact with some gaps in between, he responded with one worded reply, but i still managed to keep him in the conversation despite the one worded reply. I started to feel hopeless…not until today when he sent me a photo of something he thought was mine when he did spring cleaning at his apartment. seems like he is using that stuff to initiate the conversation with me today! then i realised i actually have a chance to win him back (todays conversation made me feel like he started to open up with me!) im definitely gonna keep texting and rekindle the good memories we had together of our relationship until we go to the next level! i definitely see my patience is rewarding! definitely update you in this comment and will ask if there is any tips needed later on..
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 3, 2017 at 11:06 pm

that’s good Fifi! Keep it up!
fifi

February 27, 2017 at 4:30 am

So i tried texting him twice over week, however it is not a 2 text per day. he responded timely in one sentence manner (ok, thanks, bad, i did that…etc). i talked about topics of his interests in these two conversation (rugby, trail run), but both conversation did not end in a high note. could you advise on this situation on your opinion? should i restart the first contact from now, or i can just keep the conversation as it is like what i’ve been doing?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 27, 2017 at 7:17 pm

continue initiating and just make up in the next conversations by ending it high note.
fifi

February 24, 2017 at 4:03 am

I texted him on Wednesday about something of his interest, then he just said thanks and asked if I am participating myself. His response seemed “Neutral” or “Bad”. i’ve stopped texting after that maybe I should cool down myself. What is your opinion on this? Do you have any recommendation on how to deal with an introvert INTP ex-boyfriend? On the other hand, I’ve improved since the initiated the NC and ill keep doing what I am doing.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 24, 2017 at 3:30 pm

If he asked you back, that’s not a bad reply. I think you should check this one first:
Introverted Ex Boyfriends Vs. Extroverted Ex Boyfriends (How To Approach Them)
fifi

February 20, 2017 at 2:19 am

Right, so I met him last night after completing the 30 days NC because he insisted to get his keys (texted me every night since Friday). We met over dinner and talked about whats missing over the last 30 days of NC. However, we did not touch about our past relationship / breakup at all. He asked a lot about my family, especially my grandmother because they both have soft spot for each other. I jokingly lied to him that the key is not in my possession at the end of our meeting and asked if he is really sure that the key is isn’t at house, then i forgotten to pass the key to him lol! Obviously, he is using the key as an excuse to see me again. He’s acting indifferent, he said he’s not doing much within the NC period and he’s careful with what he said around me. I am still unsure if I will have the chance to get him back, or how to execute communication and building rapport after the meet up. Do you have any suggestion or advise to this situation?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 21, 2017 at 4:31 pm

start with texting because even if you didn’t text much at the end of your relationship, take this as a restart..dont stop improving yourself even after nc and being active. So, that you have something to share to him.. but mostly use topics he always loves talking about..check this:
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)
fifi

February 16, 2017 at 12:46 am

we text when we was in a relationship. now we rarely text since broke up. only text to arrange meet up. or its always me who will have to initiate contact post breakup
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 16, 2017 at 6:36 pm

ok, then that means the texting waned off when the interest waned off too.. That means it’s ok to text after nc, take it like how you were when you were just starting off before.
fifi

February 15, 2017 at 10:32 am

Noted, thanks again Amor! I actually purchased EBR Pro book and gone through post 30 days NC and to text them back. The issue with my ex is that he isn’t a text person. he prefer to meet in person. I actually a bit puzzled on how to initiate contact before i could do the mini meetup. we usually meet and talk over dinner or lunch. do you have any take on this situation for me to initate the text post NC for this type of boyfriend who is not a text person?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 15, 2017 at 7:34 pm

as in you don’t text at all? do you call?
fifi

February 13, 2017 at 8:26 am

noted with thanks. Your feedback is neutral or positive ones as opposed to the thoughts i got from my girlfriends. should i initiate meeting to return the keys after completing 30 days NC this weekend, or i can just meet him one of the days this week and add up additional 15 days NC then initiate conversation again?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 14, 2017 at 1:40 pm

you’re welcome! better if it’s done after nc..use that as an opportunity to leave a good impression
Fifi

February 11, 2017 at 12:02 am

So he texted me after 21 days NC. He wants to meet to get his house key back
I just responded “not this weekend”. Gas he moved on? Or just want to meet for another round of sex?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 11, 2017 at 11:40 am

let’s not read too much.. maybe he’s just really wondering why you’ve been distant..
fifi

January 31, 2017 at 2:06 pm

Thanks Amor. I decided to go for 30days NC. Right now its been 12 days. Anxious with the outcome later on. I still have his spare apartment key though. do you have any thought why he never ask back?
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 31, 2017 at 4:27 pm

probably because it’s still awkward for him and maybe he’s avoiding drama..
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 24, 2017 at 11:52 am

Hi Fifi,

yes, you should go for full nc.. It’s not too late.

Emma

January 22, 2017 at 5:09 pm

Hi,
I need advice or help or whichever! Ha!

Me and my ex split almost a year ago and it was hard I still had feelings for him and he knew this, anyways 3 months after our split we tried seeing each other exclusively and it went really well we went out on little walks we flirted and one night we got drunk and ended up sleeping together. It was what we both wanted so I’ve never regretted it tbh.
Anyways is seeing each other that didn’t work he ended it saying he couldn’t see us getting back together and that he had drunkenly kissed someone else so we went back to just friends.

A few months later we both got into different relationships and kind of stoped talking to each other after about a month and a half of no contact we started talking again slowly.

Anyways those relationships both failed mine rather quickly his took a lot longer. I was in a emotionally abusive relationship and got out of it as quickly as I could and so was my ex but he didn’t really understand it and kept making excuses.

We’ve gotten a lot closer we talk every day texting and phone calls. We’ve been out going the pictures and for walks and having a good time with each other we both flirt with each other badly he has a habit of touching and tickling I’m really tickilish and I do the same to him I touch his arm leg just stupid stuff like that really.
Lately we’ve been casually sexting and flirting both on the phone and texting and he’s admitted that he would love for us to sleep together I told him that I would too but I’m not going to sleep with him without us being in a relationship and he agreed.
So a few days ago he was on a night out and drunkenly phoned me as he always does and asked if he could come back to mine I said no it wouldn’t be right it would be awkward in the morning.
He said that he has feelings for me and cares for me but if we were to have sex that’s all it would be just sex he can push his feelings aside as he’s done it before. I told him that I won’t be used for sex which it what it sounded like as if anything ever were to happen with us it would mean a lot to me and nothing to him so I would rather not.
He knows I want a relationship with him but he doesn’t want to be in one after his last one with his latest ex.. I don’t want to be used for sex and I’ve told him that I’d wait until he was ready for a relationship but I refuse to be used for sex..

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 23, 2017 at 2:54 pm

Hi Emma,
that’s good.. dont give in because once you do, you’ll be friends with benefits..just continue on with what you’re doing but dont sleep with him

Danielle

January 17, 2017 at 6:44 pm

So I have a rather unique situation. My ex and I have been on and off for the past year. When we started, it was electric. We fell hard and fast and each of us experienced feelings of the other being ‘the one.’ But we each brought in a lot of emotional baggage from our pasts that neither of us had dealt with. Being with each other and feeling like we had found our soulmate but not being able to sustain a healthy relationship due to these issues made for some pretty up and down times until we ended things right before Christmas. It was the first time we ended things and he said he didn’t want to be vague and that we had ‘no hope for a future together.’ I immediately initiated no contact, he reached out at day 15 to ask when i wanted to retrieve my things to which i ignored. He reached out again on day 19 saying ‘do you not want everything left here’ to which i got worried he would throw my things out and responded “i have a lot going on this week i will reach out when i can get my things.’ Fast forward to day 23 and I went to get my things. We ended up talking and he told me how our kiss was extremely special to him and that he’s shared some of the most genuine nights of his life with me. He told me he didn’t know what the future held but he knew this wouldn’t be the last time we’d see each other. He gave in and kissed me very passionately– picking me up and putting me against the door passion– to which eventually led to sex. he tried to stop the sex a few times saying he didn’t want me to leave feeling used or for him to feel confused because we both feel we need to be single in our lives right now to get our stuff together and focus on ourselves. Afterward, we talked about things, he told me he cared for me deeply and that he loved my passion. He told me our kiss was the reason he hadn’t been on dates yet because he didn’t want to have an awkward first kiss. When i left he texted me “We will arrange a time for me to pick up my drill later. I really do wish you the best.” to which i didn’t answer. I guess I’m just confused as to where i go from here. Do I re-start no contact? Try to build rapport? I’m not sure

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 17, 2017 at 9:26 pm

Hi Danielle,

try the advice above.. try to follow the pied piper theory..

Melissa

December 28, 2016 at 6:46 pm

Hello..my ex and I have been on and off for over a year. This last time things were great, he made me a priority and I thought we were happy then out of the blue we had a small fight after thanksgiviing and he wanted space until Christmas. We fought here and there for a 3 weeks I never stuck to nc. Anyways we spent Christmas together and he got me a beautiful necklace and nice gifts for my daughter. We slept together and the next day he said thank you etc. It’s been 2 days and I haven’t heard from him. Do I start nc? Or what? Thank you

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 30, 2016 at 7:15 am

Hi Melissa,

the more you do nc, the less the effect.. talk first

stacey

December 27, 2016 at 5:05 pm

Hi Amor,
I need your advice.. Ive been sleeping with my ex for the paat weeks now and it is incredibly nice. I want him back but he doesnt seem to wanting to talk about that topic.. I dont know if he wants me back but i am going crazy not knowing. I want to play it cool but it starts to control my daily life. I want to get him back by having sex and making him want me. We even go out to dinners and act like we did before so i just want him to see how nice this is and that he can have this again if we be official again. Im just afraid to lose him if i dont sleep with him anymore, i think he might be starting to look at other girls.. What would you advise me?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 29, 2016 at 1:52 pm

Hi Stacey,

My take is that, why would he want to commit when he’s already getting what he wants without it?

Silvia

December 18, 2016 at 8:23 pm

Oh i really messed up. My ex and I broke up 2 months ago, for the first month I did no contact then slowly started texting him again, every time he responded positively but didn’t engage in much conversation afterwards so after maybe 3 weeks of texting I just gave up and decided i wanted to move on. Since I made this decision I’ve been bumping into him a lot and we always say hello when we see each other. last night I bumped into him again. We were out with friends and he kept coming over to talk to me, just small talk. Then he said he was going home and he would like me to walk with him so that we could talk (we’re neighbours) so I left with him and he said ‘I’ve seen you around a lot recently and you seem really happy and I just wonder why you weren’t that happy when we were together, was it because of me…’ etc etc. Anyway we got back home and went to his flat to finish our conversation then he kissed me and I asked him ‘what do you want?’ And he said to spend time with you then we ended up sleeping together. After we slept together we just had a general chat and I asked him what his goals were and his response was ‘my goal tonight was to sleep with you’. Anyway I stayed the night then we spent the next day together and he gave me a massage (lol, something I always wanted before but he never did) and had lunch together then watched a movie, and it was nice but now I dont know what to do because I’m confused about what he wants. I’m thinking of going into no contact again, what would you suggest?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 22, 2016 at 8:25 am

Hi Silvia,

nope, I think you should keep talking but dont sleep with him again.. So, you can establish that you dont want to be friends with benefits

miras

December 16, 2016 at 1:49 pm

Hi Amor,

me an my ex broke up last yer of December2015.. after that month we just had sex.. so i already made a mistake and it happen again on March and April 2016… i did that because he said he doesn’t had a Gf ..,but he lied.. So after that i block him at FB but after May2016 his mom just add me on Fb but i just ignored it then by Aug2016 .He was asking “how am i doing?, on my cousins and relatives ” then Sep2016 again he chat my relatives again telling them that he want to talk me for some important issue which i told them to just ignore him… then another month is on Oct2016 ,..This is we’re he made a Fake Fb just to add and chat me…
i thought someone i knew so i add it then i realize its my ex bf.. then he chat me.. asking how am i doing now then if we could talk the saying sorry and i also forgive you.. but i block that Fb then he just made an Fb in just 2mins… chatting me to dont block him…pls

then just this last week of nov2016 ,, i already unblock his Fb and accept his mom.. because i want to forgive them and to let go… when he suddenly told me.. can we talk in personal?
i keep trying to tell him i will passed for now.. let me think when i will be free, but the truth is i dont want to see him..so day by day we talk normal.. like just friends..then he suddenly brought up the topic that “do you miss it?” … i just answered what do mean by that? then he said “u know what i mean… then i change the topic..

then the next day he did that again then he told i miss doing it so much with you.. and somehow i cant take it anymore.. and told him yes kinda miss it.. then we continue on having a sex on chat… but after that i told him “Forget what happen a while ago.”

then he ignores it told me…”have a great dinner”

then i just replied the next day at by afternoon…

pls help…. i want to make him chased me then get back to me… but seems like i made a mistake … i just dont know which part?…. but we didnt still have sex or even a meet up … after that long 7months of not talking to him and blocking him on fb….

should i just block him again on fb or maybe i should not chat him not until he talk to me… or maybe a week?

pls help Amor

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 19, 2016 at 5:15 am

Hi Miras,

if you really want him to chase dont have sex chat nor be friends with benefits in person.. You were already in a good start but clearly thats5 what he wants to be, just friends with benefits..and then he tried to see if you were still that person..if you want, continue to talk but dont ever have sex chat with him

Char

December 11, 2016 at 3:41 pm

Hi Amor,

I think I really messed things up now. I spoke with you before about doing no contact with my Ex but then needing to get my keys back from him.
He called me on Friday and said he would drop off my stuff. And when he came over we started to make small talk about work etc. And then one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together. I realize that is a big no-no but it happened. He was really sweet and cuddly after it all but for the first time in 6 months, he didnt spend the night. He only stayed for a couple of hours.
We talked briefly before he left and he said he was still angry with me and wanted to wait and see how I was doing for a while first, before anything else (I am in AA). I jokingly said “well dont fall in love with anyone else in the meantime…” and he said “I’ll try!” Was that not a good response…hopefully he was joking too!!????
He said he would call me sometime when he was leaving….but now im not sure what to do…wait for him to reach out or for me to just call him. I texted him yesterday just to see how he was doing but as usual he ignored me. Was that just break up sex or does it mean that he still cares about me and will reach out again?
Your thoughts?? How should I proceed.

Char

December 13, 2016 at 4:05 pm

Break up sex? yes I figured as much. I messaged him again last night that he could call me anytime….I cant get over this guy. I need to restart the no contact rule….how do i do that??? AM I BEYOND HELP NOW??? does he completely think im beyond sanity now???
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 13, 2016 at 11:11 pm

Yes, Break up sex. Sorry for the typo 🙂 We don’t know what he exactly thinks. But maintaining the no contact rule is in your control, it’s your decision. So, if you really want to finish it, you can do it. You can control yourself. It’s a matter of discipline. It’s hard but it’s not impossible. Check this:
How To NOT Break The No Contact Rule With Glenn Livingston
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 13, 2016 at 2:14 pm

Hi Char,

That’s more likely a break up text. Do you want to restart the no contact rule?

Lysa

November 18, 2016 at 12:45 am

Hello there, so me and my ex broke up about 8 months ago after dating for about 7 years. We had bad arguments and fights afterwards. We did end up having sex about two weeks after the break up. But later I found out he was trying to date other women so I got very discouraged so I decided to do the no contact period. I didnt have no contact at all with him for about almost 2 months. After the no contact period it seemed that we got along even better than before. We spoke frequently but eventually one thing lead to another and we ended having sex 2 more times again. Very passionate and It was definitely better than the sex during our relationship. After that day we have gone to dinner, movies and had breakfast a couple of times. I am very confused, I still love him but idk about him. Is it still possible to get my ex back or is it too late now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 20, 2016 at 12:58 pm

Hi Lysa,
have you asked him what your status is?

Emma

November 12, 2016 at 2:41 pm

Hey, I’m not sure what to do I’m still deeply in love with my ex we were together for over a year in a very committed relationship we had been talking about marriage even the day we met to be honest and a couple days ago he broke up with me and it was my fault because I walked away during a fight. I saw him yesterday to exchange things and we kissed and he held me and apologized and said he wanted the best for me and we got very close and stared into each other’s eyes he even looked like he was going to cry.. This morning he texted me “he wished I could’ve finished being sexual” because when I saw him we started to.. then he started to say he wanted to be in his words, “sex friends” and I could, “send nudes to his phone whenever” I don’t know what I should do because when I saw him it was indirectly stated he still loves me and I hurt him.. what should I do ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 14, 2016 at 8:45 pm

Hi Emma

be friends with benefits, and you’ll probably stay there. Dont lower your valu, just to keep a guy.

emma

November 9, 2016 at 1:57 pm

Me and my boyfriend broke up about 8 months ago after nearly 9 years together. He broke up with me and although he says its not me its him. I don’t believe him. I feel I became very controlling in our relationship which I completely regret now and have curved my controlling habits. For the first month or so I did no contact as good as I could we banged into each other a couple of times where we had to speak and he contacted me a few times but I never responded. After that slowly a small bit of contact started again and we ended up meeting a couple of times to talk which has lead to us sleeping together, I don’t regret it as it seemed the right thing to do at the time. He told me he is still attracted to me and finds me very attractive but I know the only reason he ended things was because of how I was acting. We are still in a lot of contact on friendly terms. Since we broke up I have realised just how much I love him and miss him, previously we had spoken about marriage and a future so I feel we were rather strong. I want him to give me another chance but I’m nervous about how to go about it. I know that I have changed my bad habits and need to show him that I have. Im enjoying life and I’m happy but id be happier if we were together, I have done some casual dating with others but it just doesn’t feel right.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 12, 2016 at 3:42 pm

Hi Emma,

after you slept together, he said he still saw the old you in you? Don’t sleep with him again, because you’re risking being friends with benefits.

Jenny Cast

November 9, 2016 at 4:13 am

I recently had sex with my ex boyfriend I broke up with a year and 3 months ago. We did not talk for 3-4 months before August. He initiated contact by texting me first during August. After some time of texting, I recently opened up to him about my sexual fantasies of hooking up with him. He suggested having sex and I just went along with it because I hadn’t done anything since last May and he told me he hadn’t as well. I feel like we had angry sex (without the slapping and dirty talk), but it’s ok. I am aware that physical attraction should not be confused with love and sex shouldn’t as well. To give a little background of my relationship with my ex, we started off as FWB in college that turned into a committed relationship, but failed. Now we just recently had sex again, but I’m hoping that one day we will get back together. What do you think? Should I ignore him until he texts me about the sex topic again? Or should I bring it up to him? He hasn’t called me or text me after our night, he also kept asking me what was going on with me, or what was going to happen. I felt like he wanted me to take the lead, so that’s why I don’t know whether to bring this up to him or not.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 12, 2016 at 12:41 pm

Hi Jenny,

why did the first try fail?

laetitia murray

October 26, 2016 at 1:42 pm

Hi ! I need help and don’t know what to do . Ex and I broke up in June , he has initiated contact consistently and tried to get together ,I kept pushing him away knowing it would just be sex and nothing else . At one point I sat down with Jim and asked him to respect my wish to not contact me anymore as I needed to move on and still was emotionally attached. He was good for a month but then contacted me again , we texted again , he admitted to some faults ruining the relationship , to. Are a long story short , got drink and had sex on Sunday night . Left his house Monday at1pm feeling totally stupid as I kept saying ‘I want more ‘. I was going to do a mo contact of 21-30 days to make him know I will not be A booth call or a FWB.. radio silence Monday afterwards and Tuesday but he texted Tuesday night ‘goodnight , my bed smells like you ‘ . Ugh now I don’t know what to do . Do I respond something ? Do I proceed with the no contact ? The goal would be to get him back in relationship mode . Please , I appreciate any input.
L

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 28, 2016 at 1:57 pm

Hi laetitia,

go along with building rapport for now.. but don’t sleep with him again.

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