How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back If You Slept With Him- Ex Boyfriend Recovery

554 thoughts on “How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back If You Slept With Him”

Rose

October 21, 2017 at 10:31 am

Hello,

I take it from reading the above. If I’ve slept with my ex-boyfriend four times in the three months that we’ve been broken up… I’m in a pretty bad sitatuion. There has been fall out the last few times which we moved on from and treated each other as friends and then it happened again. This time I’ve asked to meet him to talk. I’m now thinking that’s probably a waste of time. He’s going to be defensive and not want to get back together. What would you advice I do at this point. Other than just walk away and have no contact? Or would that be your advice?

Thanks
Rose

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 24, 2017 at 1:13 pm

Hi rose,

Yep, starting nc is the advice 🙂

Clarisa Sweeten

September 23, 2017 at 7:22 pm

So should I tell my ex that I won’t be sleeping with him anymore? He asked twice, I caved once, he’s asked a couple more times after that night, but I “had to work early the next day” both times. After my 2nd time not giving in he had another girl over. Actually, it’s the girl he dumped me for months ago. They are strictly FWB-no strings attached, but I do believe he has developed feelings for her. So do I just do No Contact again, cold turkey with no warning? Should I start doing Being There? Should I tell him that I won’t be sleeping with him, but continue to build rapport? Thanks!

Clarisa

September 24, 2017 at 10:04 pm

NC and playing hard-to-get make me feel like I’m sending the message that I’m not interested. I want him back so bad! I also feel like when I turn him down he may just have another booty call with somebody else. I want more than a booty call and I want him to cut off all his FWB for me.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 28, 2017 at 8:58 pm

don’t play hard to get.. be hard to get.. if you want a guy to treat a certain way, you have to let go of a guy who doesn’t treat you the way you want him too.. That’s why it’s very important to have standards.
Clarisa Sweeten

September 23, 2017 at 7:24 pm

To clarify, when I say “he asked” I’m referring to him inviting me over to his place, for sex.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 24, 2017 at 7:56 pm

Yes, you have to say you’re not going to sleep with him anymore, because it’s not you to be sleeping with someone you’re not committed with and then thank him for everything and then restart nc..

Michelle

July 25, 2017 at 12:36 am

Hi Amor,

My boyfriend and I broke up a month ago. We dated 3 1/2 months. He broke up with me over text saying he needed a little time. I waite 9 days (no contact that whole time) and text him telling him I respect that he needs space and was willing to honor that as long as he needed but asked that he tell me why he needed a little time bc I wanted to have a better understanding since we were always so natural and happy together. I also added a few good memories. I ended the text by saying again I just needed some clarity and understanding why he needs a little time. I used the NC rule for 12 days and then I ran into him at a local bar we both frequent. I was there with other friends that day to celebrate my ex’s brother’s birthday (who passed away last year). I saw him drive around the corner and wasn’t sure if he stopped. Sure enough he did and walked up to his car. We had a friendly light conversation. There were a few instances where it almost got deep but I quickly changed the subject. HE stared at me with the most loving deep stare. I decided to stare back into his eyes to see what was going on in his mind. He looked so in love and wanted to say sorry. He has always been bad at verbally communicating and often wouldnt. After 20 mins we went inside the bar together. We stayed till closing time. At that time we both said we were going home. I said it a few times but for some reason changed my mind when he asked to come to his house as we had in the past when we first met at a birthday party at this same place. I agreed and went to his house. We had very small talk. He asked me why I hadn’t looked at him anymore like I used to. I was but sometimes would look away bc after a while when we were together he no longer liked that I looked at him and would ask why was I looking at him (he used to love it). We went to his freezing cold bedroom. At first I kneeled at the end of his bed and reluctant to get under the covers. He asked me If I was cold and asked me to come under the covers and he would keep me warm. I did. He held me for so long as if to say he missed me and was sorry. Then he took my head in his hands and just stared at me for the longest time and finally kissed me but lightly. He held back and then finally kissed me so passionately as to say he loved me, missed me and was sorry. We made beautiful passionate love, not sex. He held me after for so long then we fell asleep. The next morning we woke up I didn’t leave right away but he seemed calm but a little distant. We had breakfast. Right after i wanted to leave and tell him but he immediately went into a cleaning frenzy as if to avoid talking about what happened or even to tell him I’m going home. I finally told him I was going home. I asked him what his plans were for later. He told me he was going out with his brothers for a drink to honor his brother who passed. I said great enjoy the night. We will talk later. We never spoke that night and had no contact for another three days when he finally text me at 11 PM saying can’t sleep. He’s done this in the past but this time try to play it off like he sent it by mistake. Then he began saying he found it funny that I’m liking certain posts from a page Situationships 101 that he felt were directed toward him. They actually weren’t. He asked why when he thought I never like that page before. I told him it wasn’t about him and that I had like that page even while we were in a relationship. He then told me he had friends messaging him telling him I was liking those posts and asking if it was about him. I reassured him once more it wasn’t. From there, about an hour later he messages me again asking why I friended at least a dozen guys that were his friends that I didn’t know or never met! I never did that! I told him that. He kept insisting that I didn’t . I told him I never requested or accepted friend requests from anyone I didn’t know or meet. Mind you during this time, I was focusing on me and improving myself mentally and physically and also posting on Facebook my activity with my friends and family. I was getting a ton of comments and yes there were a few friends that friend requested me since we broke up both girls and guys but when he saw these guys commenting he became jealous. He kept insisting that I had and I kept telling him I’m not that kind of girl. He tried to say that was one reason why he bailed and couldn’t be with someone who uses social media to Facebook date and that he’s not into those kind of girls. Once more I said I’m not that kind a girl and you know me better than that. To which he finally replied he thinks I’m a great person and appreciates everything I’ve done for him and that he can’t say a bad thing about me and never would but there are issues but at this point it’s not what he wants. Mind you, I actually saw him friend requesting women similar to my profile right in front of me. However, I never brought any of what he did up in the conversation and still haven’t. He also accused me of being a chronic Facebook dater which I had never dated a single person by meeting through Facebook. He basically tried to flip the blame on me and make it as if I’m not that ungettable girl anymore when in the last couple weeks of the relationship he was slowly finding reasons to not see me, texting less where I had to text him first to completely ignoring me. This text conversation went on till 4 AM. His last text was he was sorry he brought it up and it wasn’t his place to and was sorry. I ended the conversation by saying I was not that kind a girl and asked him why he never spoke to me about these issues and that during that time he was the only one that I wanted and still want. and asked if he can talk more to me about our issues. Its been 6 days and no contact. I am confused at what stage of the how to get my ex back I’m in. What do I do next?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 25, 2017 at 6:17 pm

Hi Michelle,

just avoid posting photos of you dating guys. Are you actively improving yourself?

KayKay

July 22, 2017 at 4:52 pm

So my ex and I have had some issues. We was together for a year. On and off break ups over little things, we would talk about it and would get over it. But the last straw was when random males would message me. He would get very upset and would say if I talked back I would be feeding their egos. (They just want to have sex with you). Some are genuine friends and some are people who I used to be interested in and stopped talking to because I was with him. So we broke up having a big fight over how he doesn’t trust me at all. He says has to protect himself because he is always thinking I am doing something with someone and it stresses him out. How all women are sneaky and i look sneaky. He used to say I Love You everyday! So i know he does even had me as his future wife in this phone. We both have had dreams of marriage and kids. And have a very strong sex connection. So he was very mean and cold for the first 2 or 3 days of breaking up( blocked me from everything including txts and phone calls). I went over to grab my stuff. It was always we kind of just stared at each other periodicly. When i asked him “why?” With eye contact he made a puppy face and just kissed me. he called me that evening. He then called me every day multiple times a day. The one time I didn’t answer he panicked and called me 20 times within 30 mins. Once I answered he seem relieved. The next day we talked and I said i wass going to the park. He tried to meet me up there but I was running behind (he invited himself). He constantly complain how no one calls or txts him but his mom. We talked and met up at his place. After leaving that night I saw that he has unblocked me. We talked and hung out yesterday night he looked really nice (hes a tshirt and sweats man). Smelled really good. Went out to dinner walked and talked. Saying he doesn’t want to let me go but he has to. If i move on he just gonna have to deal with the anger and jealousy. That night had oral sex and said what am I doing tomorrow because he wants to see me again. He has called me today during his lunch and wants to meet up. I dnt know what to do? I love him and want to be with him but he doesn’t want to deal with his relationship anxiety

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 25, 2017 at 4:47 pm

Hi Kaykay,

check this one:
Do You Have The Same Values As Your Ex? (With Chase Kosterlitz)

Vie

July 17, 2017 at 3:35 pm

My ex and I have been keeping in contact everyday since a few weeks after we split. He would ask me to come over and stuff and I would just flirt back before, I did have sex with him once but then I felt really bad and came across this article. Since finding this article I’ve hung out with him two times and done nothing more then some steamy kissing sessions I haven’t brought up that I don’t want to have sex with him unless he commits and I’m not sure how to make him want to commit. I know he wants sex but I don’t know how to use it to my advantage

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 18, 2017 at 9:22 pm

Hi Vie,

why not do the no contact rule?

rori

July 10, 2017 at 1:49 pm

hey ^^
i just red this article and you re so right .. now that i slept with him he doesn t wanna commit and he is distent .. i wanna tell him that im about to start a new relationship with someone els and i wont be able to sleep with him anymore … but i dont know if this will make him jealous enough to commit or he will just leave … is it a wronge way to be that ungettable girl but i dont know if i should do this what do you think ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 14, 2017 at 8:29 am

Nope dont.. Just tell him you’re not going to sleep with him again if he asks

P

July 7, 2017 at 6:17 pm

Hi,

I slept with my ex boyfriend around a day ago and afterwards he said he was trying to play hard to get with it. When I was leaving his place, about an hour after we had sex he said we shouldn’t do it again for a while or unless we get back together. He said he would still talk to me and hang out with me, but I was wondering if any of this indicates I am on the right path to getting him to commit to me. Thank you!

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 9, 2017 at 6:49 pm

Check this one:
Sleeping with Your Ex Boyfriend… Does It Work?

Jewels

June 14, 2017 at 8:50 am

My ex had asked me about a friends with benefits relationship four months after he had broken up with me. I had done a 16 day no contact period but broke it off. Three months after our relationship ended we did something sexual and he said he still had feelings for me, but two days later he confessed his feelings to a friend. He had told me what we did wouldn’t happen again and then he apologized. I still don’t understand why he asked after doing that. I agreed because I thought it might give me a chance to win him back, but if anything it just created a weird distance. He compliments me and still seems highly attracted to me but I don’t think he has any romantic feelings. We talk everyday, call each other by pet names, and have each other added on the social media accounts we use the most. One time when he was upset about something and I tried comforting him he basically told me I would never understand. What should I do? Is there no way this will work out?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 16, 2017 at 7:08 pm

either you’re friendzoned or he’s keeping you to be fwb again later on..restart nc and do at least 30 days and do it properly..

Lina

June 6, 2017 at 1:20 pm

I slept with my ex and now he hasn’t contacted me in 5 weeks since then, what should I do? Is it impossible to get him back now?
Nayara Pereira de Oliveira

June 1, 2017 at 6:46 am

My ex brokeup with me almost 5 months ago because I were fighting a lot, since I was too needy, clingy, insecure and jealousy. I chased him for a month, then did the no contact rule for almost another month and changed myself for a better version. Got a new job, lost weight, became christian, made new friends and a lot of other stuff. For the past three months my ex been chasing me. We talk almost everyday by texts and sometimes he calls me. I NEVER begun the contact. He always asked to have lunch with me at his house, or come to my house after his college and stuff, but never really asked me out (I like to believe that’s because he’s unemployed). I got sick and he came home to bring me pills, that was the first time I saw him. Then last week I went to his house to have dinner and we slept together, and yesterday we did it again. I tried to resist, but I couldn’t, since he’s super needy and clingy (he never been that way). I also know that he just ended his rebound relationship. What do I do now? He act like as we are back together, but wr are’nt. I need to get him to commit.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 1, 2017 at 6:18 pm

check this one:
How To Ask Your Ex Boyfriend To Be In A Relationship With You

Sarah

May 25, 2017 at 6:25 pm

Hi, so my ex broke up with me 2 months ago. Initially he was veey rude to me and for the whole time of one month when i was chasing and begging him he kept telling me how he didnt love me anymore and i should leave him alone and move on cus he has moved on.
I went for no contact and did end up breaking it a couple of times, but what i did notice was a change in him. He wasnt rude to me anymore and was actually talking to me nice. When i asked him if he misses me he said he didnt want to answer which clearly showed that he did miss me.
I started no contact again… and ended up breaking it AGAIN after a week or so.. but i did see some improvement, he finally admitted he did have feelings for me but he doesn’t want to get back together with me.
Now i dont want to chase him anymore because i dont want to look desperate, i want him to somehow make up his mind on his own to get back with me- any way to help accelerate the process?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 27, 2017 at 2:36 pm

stick to no contact period…do at least 30 days and aim to be this:
The Ungettable Girl

Sophie

May 20, 2017 at 11:15 pm

Also, he said to me once the next person he commits to he wants to have kids with settle down etc he’s 38 this year, I’m 31 and I know he wants kids more than anything in the world. He’s successful and set up and has admitted he overthinks things and has fears etc but I don’t want to get into a fwb situation now so will never sleep with him again. Do you think he’ll contact me again? Or has he just ghosted which he’s never done before in the past :-$

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 22, 2017 at 6:48 pm

5 days of nothing from him is ghosting.. There’s a probability he will contact but you should start the no contact rule and do at least 21 or 30 days.

Sophie

May 20, 2017 at 11:09 pm

Hi, just need some quick advice…
In a nutshell:

We dated for 3 months, I wasn’t attracted to begin with (met through a mutual friend) but he chased and we ended up dating. We went away together during that time over New Years for a week and I met a lot of his family / friends. He didn’t want to do that at first because he was concerned about it being more serious than it was even though in the beginning he was saying he wants to make me happy, all he needs is for me to fall for him, blah blah. Anyway, we went away, learnt a lot about each other, I’d give him feedback on his behaviour that upset me and he’d thank me wanting to improve, and we also had heaps of really good times together overall. When we came back we were basically acting like an item and I spent a lot of time at his place like almost a week straight. (We was on hols and was sick so there was a bit of nurturing) but i still went out and did my thing, caught up with friends etc at some point nearly every day.

We ended when I felt myself falling for him and questioning our status. He said he wanted to continue seeing me and he was happy with the way things were progressing and also once said he thought we had the potential to be something amazing. But he couldn’t call a spade a spade in the end and I said well it should over I’m sorry. He was annoyed And said but we’d gone away together and “why do we have to put labels on things type thing” and that he wasn’t a commitment phone and that it would have lead to commitment naturally after another month. I still ended it and went into nc.

He kept occasionally liking an Instagram post and eventual made positive contact 2 months later through Instagram. I replied politely but not as warm and there was no further reponse.

I moved on,’ met someone else still missed him but was glad I stuck by my guns.
I knew he’d has his heart broken just before me so thought that might have impacted on his lack of committal.

4 months afterthoughts breakup I ran into him with my current ( not now) partner and friend!.
Sparks flew,, we shared an intimate greeting hug, I didn’t introduce my partner as my partner so he wouldn’t have known we were together. He stayed chatting to me and cornered me a bit. I left the bar as my partner wanted to and didn’t look back at him or say goodbye. HE texted 15 later saying it was nice to see me and I replied. We flirted hard over text that night and the next day and he said he was hoping he’d run into me and how he wasn’t enjoying this whole being blocked experience and that he wasn’t sure how he’d feel when he saw me or how I’d be but it felt really nice and natural. That night he’d tried to get me over and I refused. (Friday night).

I heard nothing until the following Tuesday, we chatted and it wasn’t sexual, just wanted to see how I was, I’d been out for dinner. We flirted and I said goodnight.

Then Friday came along and he contacted me at 6.30. Wanted to know how my day had been, he chatted about a show we’d watched recently and our thoughts on that, it lead to me gling over there for a snuggle and I did. HE chatted and watched a movie, then before I know it were making out hard and it’s lead to sex. I kept trying to refuse. He wanted metal stay over even jus the to cuddle. but I eventually got caught up in the head of it. We stopped halfway through. I cried saying this isn’t what I came over for. HE said he didn’t want to make me cry, and asked me “do you think that’s all I want?” Then I said yes and insisted then and there that we talked about some of why it ended and that we wanted to see each other again. That’s hes not emotionally unavailable and that he wouldn’t be open to me (after I asked). So we slept together and I left the next morning.

That night he asked how’s my day was babe around 9pm. I said it was great etc how was his and he said he was out with friends having a few drinks 🙂 then asked what I was up to. I said I was out too x
HE didn’t ask where I was trying to hook in or anything. I sentence him a video of people dancing and within the hour I ran into him at my venue. We hung out, kissed, talked, he greeted me with a kiss in front of everyone, had a great night and went home together.
We chatted in his kitchen more about what happened. He said he just wants me to be happy, that he didn’t know how id react if he told me his reservations about when we went away, didn’t realise I’d react well, as I did. I told him I want to evolve with someone too…. I gave him enough feedback in the time we were together. He said I’m not really as prickly as he said I was. HE said when I started questioning us etc it became hard work so he let it go. I said, you realise I’m still the sameness person though? ANd he said “im here aren’t I?” We chatted and went to sleep no sex we were tired .

I had to leave First hung Sunday and that night he asked how ny day had been. I replied the next day and he sent me pics of clothes he bought that day.

Tuesday he CALLED for the first time and left a voice message saying it was him was checking to see how my week was going. I called him back and we chatted and laughed on the phone for over half an hour then went to sleep and he said good luck getting up at 6am and that he’d speak to me soon.

Since then nothing! I have not contacted him.
HEs always been the initiator.

What should I do? I’m sure I stuffed it by sleeping with him I know that and he knew I didn’t want that. I still haven’t the adjusted my social media settings ie. still blocked on Instagram etc I haven’t initiated contact once since we started chatting and behind the scenes he doesn’t know I also ended it with the guy I was seeing for two months saying I still had feelings for him. I was honest.

Norbert I’m just wanting to know why There’s been no contact for almost 5 days. (It’s Sunday today).
Sandra

May 19, 2017 at 1:06 am

So I’m stumped. Made it through NC and through the 3 dates and we text daily see eachother often and are intimate. I can’t figure out how to bring up the feelings part!!! How to find out where he is in that aspect with me. I don’t know if coming out and saying “how do you feel about me or where do you see us?” Is the right approach. Any suggestions on how to approach this without scaring him ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 19, 2017 at 10:29 pm

check this one:
How To Ask Your Ex Boyfriend To Be In A Relationship With You

T

April 28, 2017 at 4:12 pm

Please help me. It just happened. My ex came over and we started off great we were together for 7 years. We started to have sex but I told him to stop because something wasn’t right I felt like he didn’t really want to be there. I cried a little and he said he had to go home and that he was fine it’s okay. I’m crying right now. I’m overwhelmed please help anything. I’m so upset. We live in small college town for school. He said everyone has it easy and all I could say it’ll be okay. But that triggered him in some way since he was just saying he needs to go

T

April 28, 2017 at 8:56 pm

Thank you so much ! I’m starting today ! Going to keep myself busy and just try to forget this right now.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 30, 2017 at 11:33 am

You’re welcome!
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 28, 2017 at 5:53 pm

You need to restart the no rule and then take it slow after

Laurie

April 20, 2017 at 9:21 pm

My ex and I still live together. He moves out next month. We always had a strong sexual connection and I messed up (several times) and slept with him. I know it needs to stop. Since we are still living together – do you recommend I just don’t sleep with him – and dangle – or outright tell him I won’t?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 26, 2017 at 4:28 pm

Just don’t sleep with him because you’re making yourself friends with benefits with him

Katherine

April 9, 2017 at 9:41 pm

So long story short, my ex says he still loves me just can’t do a relationship right now. It’s been a month since we broke up and he’s been initiating almost all the texts on and off throughout the month, being friendly. Recently he told me he misses me so we met up and I made the mistake of sleeping with him. He wants to start seeing me once a week (probably for sex, although he didn’t specify). Should I just come right out and tell him that I will not sleep with him again or should I not say anything and just go right into pied piper theory?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 10, 2017 at 7:58 pm

proceed with the pied piper advice

Megan

March 29, 2017 at 3:18 am

Soooo, I have this ex that I am still in love with for the past year that we have been broken up. I broke up with him for reasons that I didn’t think through at all. We were definitely in love and I know he is the guy for me. I mess up. Since I promise I would never leave him….I ended up doing that. He has bad problems with people leaving him so he kinda shut himself down. After we broke up we kinda had sex for a while. I made the mistake of sleeping with his friend and couple others…I was so depressed I was trying to find someone who made me feel the way my ex did since my ex wouldn’t take me back. In that process I began dark and crazy. One night he kiss someone else in Front of me and I freak out…I shouldn’t of because when I did stuff with his friends he didn’t even get mad at me…he understood. After that he hated me, to the point where if I came close to him he was going to shoot my tires out. We didn’t talk for months and I lost friends from it. Recently we started hanging around either other again because we have a common friend. We didn’t talk at all at first but slowly we eventually did and he came around more. Now the other day he invited me other with his good friend and we ended up doing it. We was planning on doing it before hand because he talked to someone I knew and they told me after the deed was done. So I don’t know what to do. He has a girl he has been messing with so why would he want to do stuff with me after a year? Does he miss me? I felt like he did. I need some device before I go crazy.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 29, 2017 at 2:23 pm

Hi Megan,

honestly, I think it’s because he knows you would sleep with him.. that’s just it.

Briana

March 21, 2017 at 1:55 pm

My boyfriend and I break up a month ago, because he didn’t want to continue anymore, but last weekend we had sex. He didn’t text or anything, so I text him and he answered but then ended the conversation. I think that he is hanging out with a girl. The question is if he doesn’t text back, should I try again? If i text him, he will answer but very short…. a want to have a conversation but how? What should I say??

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 25, 2017 at 5:44 am

Hi Briana,

dont sleep with him again because you’ll be friends with benefits.. try the advice above, do the no contact rule..

Wendy

March 17, 2017 at 6:09 pm

My ex broke up with me four days ago. We were together for 7 months. Live together as well. We went through so much together. We’ve had ups and downs and fought here and there, but always managed to make up and try to rebuild what we had. He is moving for a new job tomorrow and the plan was for me to move up there a month or two after he settles in. I asked him four nights ago, if he has a loose date of when I should move to him. And fair enough…I know I’ve asked that multiple times and I guess he got annoyed and fed up. But we made up again and I thought everything was fine, then the next day when he got home from work, he broke up with me. Saying that he has been unhappy with the past fights, how he cannot see past them. How the latest argument just pushed him over the edge and he can’t deal with the stress. I tried reasoning with him. He won’t budge. Says he wants a NC for 3 months to do his thing and I do my thing. Says we can touch base again after 3 months as friends to catch up. I want more than that though. He says he still loves me and cares for me deeply, but he can’t see pass the haze of he fights to see a future he used to see clearly when things were great between us. I feel lied to and shocked. Please help…Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 21, 2017 at 5:14 pm

Hi Wendy,

do you want to try the no contact rule? check this one too:
The Ungettable Girl

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554 thoughts on “How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back If You Slept With Him”