In today’s blog post I’m going to show you exactly how long a rebound relationship will typically last.
In fact, not only will we be discussing the length of a rebound relationship but we’re also going to tackle the many different ways to tell if a rebound is no longer a rebound and how often they typically work out.
First things first though, how long do rebound relationships typically last?
Our research has indicated that the average rebound relationship will last 5.2 months but can last longer in certain circumstances. It will all depend on when the honeymoon period wears off.
The timing of a rebound relationship really doesn’t matter until you can confirm whether your ex is in one.
Understanding What Makes a Rebound Relationship
There are two core factors you need to look out for to determine whether your ex is in a rebound relationship:
- How quickly your ex moved on after the breakup
- How long they are currently staying with the new person
Generally speaking, if your ex is in a rebound relationship, they will have moved on from you almost immediately after the breakup to this other person. In fact, something that often gets overlooked (probably because it sucks to hear) is that your ex probably already had plans to be with this person while they were still with you. It makes sense if you think of the logic behind what a breakup truly is.
The decision to break up with you does not typically happen overnight.
Usually, what ends up occurring is that your ex establishes some level of emotional connection with another person.
The new excitement and connection make them believe this new person will be better for them in the long run. So yes, even people your ex had their eyes set on before the breakup can facilitate rebound relationships, enabling your ex to move on super-fast.
The second factor is how long they stay in that rebound relationship.
As I previously mentioned, the average rebound relationship will last between 5.2 months. This is essentially the cut-off. Now they can last longer, and sometimes they can last shorter; it’s just dependent on several different factors.
But generally speaking, if your ex has been with this new person for longer than 5.2 months, it’s beginning to leave the rebound territory into something a little bit more serious.
Ways To Tell If a Rebound Relationship Is No Longer a Rebound
In my opinion, the key to telling if a rebound relationship is no longer a rebound is by looking at the four phases of a rebound relationship.
I recently wrote an in-depth article and shared a YouTube video about these four phases.
I basically broke down from an ex’s perspective what kind of emotions and experiences they have if they’re in a rebound relationship.
Those four phases are as follows:
- The honeymoon phase
- Cracks begin to form
- Fight or flight kicks in
- Your ex has an epiphany
In our original understanding of how long rebound relationships last, one of the most significant indicators was how long your ex is experiencing a honeymoon period.
So what is the honeymoon period?
The honeymoon period is basically the most fun and exciting part of a relationship. Usually you meet someone new, you start a new romantic experience with them, and your dopamine levels are off the charts. You just think this person can do no wrong and is the best thing to ever happen to you.
Now people often don’t understand that how long that honeymoon period lasts can vary in wide degrees, so here’s the important thing for you to understand:
The honeymoon period can last anywhere between two months to two years, yet when you pair the honeymoon period with a rebound relationship, the honeymoon period will never last 2 years. A typical honeymoon period for rebound relationships is between 2 and 3 months.
Generally speaking, in a situation where your ex is not going on the rebound – they actually want to move on from you and find someone new – the honeymoon period is going to last a long time.
So the honeymoon period is basically the secret sauce for helping you determine whether your ex is on the rebound.
So what are the chances your ex’s rebound could turn into something real?
How Often Do Rebound Relationships End Up Working Out?
In most cases they don’t.
My estimation is that 60% of the time, rebound relationships will ultimately run their course
By running their course I’m talking about going through the 4 stages of a rebound relationship.
We know that a honeymoon period in a rebound relationship will be on the lower end – generally between two to three months. What happens after that?
Cracks begin to form and the foundation of the honeymoon period starts to crumble.
This is when real life kicks in, and your ex realizes that the new person they’re with isn’t actually as perfect as they thought. Regrets tend to stir up and that takes us to the next phase. It triggers their fight or flight mechanism.
Oftentimes they literally start getting into fights and arguments with their ex and eventually their avoidant tendencies will make them run. They’ll use their fear of emotional intimacy to bail rather than staying.
Usually, this bailing mechanism is followed by an epiphany.
This is where they realize they made a mistake and the grass was definitely not greener on the other side. They see that the new relationship is not worth the effort, and they think back on your relationship in a very positive light.
How Does a Rebound Relationship Become Something More?
For a rebound relationship to grow into something more successful, a few things need to occur:
- Your ex needs to be ready to move past you
- Their avoidant mentality isn’t triggered
- You don’t properly employ the being there method
Let’s look at each of these a little more in-depth.
Your Ex Needs To Be Ready To Move Past You
Usually when you break up with someone, you don’t automatically move on overnight. It doesn’t matter that your ex is seeing someone new, as long as they are still thinking about you.
The new person can be a distraction from you, but ultimately you’re still there in their subconscious.
For that rebound relationship to grow into something more successful for them, they need to be of the mind that they are completely over you.
In other words, they need to exhibit more secure attachment behavior, which, as we know from our research, eludes most exes.
Their Avoidant Mentality Isn’t Triggered
Most of our clients/audiences have avoidant exes.
After years of studying those avoidant tendencies, we know that avoidants want an emotionally intimate connection with people. Still, they’re also scared of it at the same time, which is an interesting paradox.
So what we have here is this person who craves emotional intimacy but also craves their own independence, and the two are not usually mutually exclusive.
Once they realize this, they freak out and bail. Now if you were to actually sit down with an avoidant and ask them to explain why they left, oftentimes they’ll say that they got overwhelmed or scared. This is code for them being scared of losing their independence and becoming too emotionally dependent on someone else.
Obviously, an avoidant will never admit this because it’s selfish, and they don’t want to be seen as the bad guys. So for a rebound relationship to build into something more, they cannot trigger their avoidant side, which is almost unavoidable.
Usually, avoidant people get attracted to anxious people, and the two are on polar opposite ends of the spectrum. So the anxious person constantly grates on the avoidant person’s nerves because they want to be much more emotionally connected than avoidants.
Again, avoidants do crave emotional intimacy but definitely not the same way as someone with an anxious attachment style.
You Don’t Properly Employ The Being There Method
The final thing that needs to occur for your ex’s rebound to become a real relationship is that you are not actually employing the being there method.
I’ve been on record multiple times saying that if you are in a situation where your ex has moved on to someone else, and you are interested in trying to win this person back, you absolutely need to embrace and employ the being there method.
Now I’ve talked about the being there method a lot but think of it like this – it’s you changing your attachment style to being more secure and then simply being friends with your ex and exhibiting those secure behaviors.
Your new secure attachment as a friend will eventually intimate the new person, and their relationship will self-implode. There’s also the added benefit of ensuring that you never leave your ex’s mind. As long as your ex knows they can talk to you, you will still be a viable romantic option for them.
The being there method also taps into the psyche of exes with avoidant attachment styles that they do not allow themselves to miss you until they’ve had the time and space from you in a romantic capacity. As long as you have a non-clingy secure attachment style and the new person doesn’t, your ex will automatically gravitate towards you and long for the good times you had together.
A rebound relationship typically lasts for 5.2 months, with an initial 2-3 month honeymoon period.
After the honeymoon period is over, cracks begin to form as you crash back to reality.
Eventually, your ex’s fight or flight response will kick in, driving them towards the epiphany that what they had with you was special! 60% of rebound relationships don’t work out so all you have to do is employ the being there method and let the rebound run its course while your secure attachment styles draws your ex back.