Today we’re going to be taking a look at some of our success stories. That means we’re going to be looking at real life situations where a couple broke up and then found their way back together.
Yet it’s not enough to simply talk about these success stories. I’d rather show them to you.
If you haven’t noticed recently I’ve been hard at work interviewing my clients who have been successful at reuniting with their exes to get to the bottom of what they did that worked.
So, I’ve decided to include the following with each story.
- The full-length interview of them telling their story
- A brief summary of their story
- Any interesting findings that I took from that interview
Let’s rock and roll!
Story #1: Rachel’s Ex Left Her When She Was Pregnant (And Then Came Back)
Rachel has a really interesting story. Essentially her ex left her when she was pregnant with his child. He was so insecure that he literally didn’t believe the child was his (it was.) She ended up coming into our ecosystem and started focusing on herself. She went on dates, leveled up her life in all these amazing areas and eventually her ex came back to her.
You’ll often hear me tell women that the best way to “get an ex back” is to actually “outgrow” the ex. Rachel did that in spades and while she did take him back things weren’t ever the same. He continued to mistreat her and almost went through this self sabotage phase.
Eventually another breakup ensued and while it was painful she decided it was time to let go of her ex and she ended up dating someone new. It turned out that “the new guy” ended up being her husband who she is now married to.
But we know that men want what they can’t have and so when she began dating her soon to be husband her ex tries to come back into the picture again.
Of course, by that point it was too late for him.
- Fear of loss is a huge motivator for reconnection
- Outgrowing an ex is always important
- Men sometimes self sabotage to make themselves look like “the victim”
Story #2: Jamie Started Dating Other Men And Her Ex Begged For Her Back
Where Rachel above started dating new men and eventually found success romantically Jamie actually puts Rachel to shame and I mean that in the best way possible.
After going through a horrific breakup Jamie made a conscious effort to start dating new people as a way of “practicing.” So, she really took to the “ungettable girl” concept and decide to spend her every waking moment focusing on achieving that status and she used dates as a way to test her progress.
Eventually she was so successful that she had half a dozen men competing for her and her ex asks for her back.
She denies him because she realized she deserves a man that treats her right.
- Once again dating others makes an appearance
- Having a north star like becoming an “ungettable girl” is important
Story #3: Jane Got Two Exes To Come Back
I truly enjoyed my interview with Jane because of how adamantly she believed in our program. Jane was in the midst of an on again/off again relationship with her boyfriend who she shared a child with.
After her boyfriend decided to break up with her and move on to his secretary/assistant she came into our eco system. One of the gigantic alterations she had was her mindset. She realized she needed to outgrow her ex and ended up moving on to someone new.
Of course, as is becoming common it was once she moved on to the new guy that her ex came calling. So, there’s one ex who came back she wasn’t interested at this point but her current boyfriend couldn’t take the drama being caused by her previous ex and broke up with her.
Once again Jane found herself back at square one but went through the entire program again and ended up winning him back.
Two exes back.
- I can’t tell you how crazy it is that “moving on” or appearing to “move on” seems to be a huge component to reconnection
- Jane mentioned a few times in her interview that her ex was a fearful avoidant so learning how to communicate with him was key for her.
Story #4: Sophie Did Everything Wrong And Still Got Her Ex Back
At the beginning of every single interview I always tell the interview subject to be completely honest with me. I’m not concerned if they skipped my program and did things their way. All I care about is the truth. I want to find out what works.
Sophie’s interview was perhaps the most inspiring for those who’ve made mistakes in their breakup recovery.
An ardent reminder that you don’t have to be perfect. Her ex broke up with her mainly due to her anxious behaviors and those anxious behaviors didn’t stop after the breakup but the fact that she is aware of them now is HUGE.
After going through a period of no contact and breaking it multiple times at some point she decided she needed to heal from the breakup.
Her story is inspiring for any of you who feel like you’ve got no chance because of all the mistakes you’ve made.
- You don’t need to be perfect to get your ex back
- Being aware of your anxious behaviors is important
Story #5: Heather Got Her Fearful Avoidant Ex Back By Pulling Back
Perhaps no interview I’ve conducted highlights the importance of understanding how to handle a fearful avoidant more than my talk with Heather.
Her ex broke up with her because he had to go overseas on military deployment. It’s an interesting success story because we haven’t talked a lot about that specific situation on this website.
Perhaps the biggest finding was how avoidant he became. My best guess is that it was being used as a coping mechanism. To ensure that no one can get close he pushes people away.
“When he pulls back, you pull back.”
It took a little while for her to “get it” but when she did the results followed pretty quickly.
- Pulling back when you sense a fearful avoidant pulling away works WAY better than I was even expecting
- Military exes can sometimes push you away as a coping mechanism
Story #6: Grace Curbed Her Anxious Behaviors And He Came Back
We’ve done multiple studies within our private facebook support group and have found that close to 90% of our clients exhibit anxious behaviors while their exes tend to exhibit avoidant behaviors.
Grace admitted that she made all the classic anxious mistakes. She admitted that she had a tendency to like control in her relationships. Not in the “crazy controlling way” but in the way that she feels is transparent so both parties know what’s going on in the relationship.
Well, after coming into our program and learning about how an anxious person should be handling the breakup she went to work and started seeing results culminating in a reconnection with her ex.
- Once again the importance of attachment styles shows up
- Patience really is a virtue
Story #7: Jenny Got Her Ex Back Without A Full No Contact
Perhaps the most popular strategy within the “get your ex back” space is the no contact rule. I’ve written hundreds of articles on it and refined the definition multiple times. In fact, our research has suggested no contact is present in over 90% of our success stories.
It’s kind of a big deal and Jenny was definitely on board with the concept but she actually didn’t complete her initial time frame.
Now, anyone who is familiar with our most up to date version of no contact will know that I’m a big believer in using that time to outgrow your ex.
Not necessarily “getting over them” but being ok with life if you don’t get that person back. Turns out she knocked it out of the park in that regard because upon getting her ex back he literally told her,
“I didn’t know if me leaving was a good thing for you because you just seemed so happy.”
He came back obviously so he couldn’t stay away.
- Your vibe during no contact is so important.
- Jenny attacked it with just projecting this positive energy and that is attractive to all people
Story #8: Julie Let Her Ex Go And It Was Only Then That He Came Back
After meeting her boyfriend on a dating app, dating him for a year and a half and going through a brutal breakup Julie entered our orbit.
She diagnoses herself as an anxious attachment style and her ex as an avoidant attachment style which is something we see is extremely common with our clients and their exes. She implements a no contact rule and calls it the most difficult thing she’s had to do and somewhere along the way her mindset shifts from,
“I need to get my ex back” to “I’m not sure I want my ex back.”
And as is so often the case the more you adopt that mindset the more likely it is that your ex finds you attractive again.
And… that’s exactly what happened.
- Your intent of no contact matters a lot
- If you come into it thinking ” I want my ex back” and only use it for that you’re going to fail
Story #9: Karina Got Her Long Distance Ex Back
Karina found herself devastated after her long distance ex broke up with her. She had been with her ex for close to seven years so there was a lot of history there that he had turned his back on.
Oh, one other small detail. He was in the army. Now, what I’ve found about army exes is they tend to break up with you before they deploy. However, Karina’s ex was a different animal. He actually broke up with her when he came back from deployment.
Well, the answer to that question is always a bit complicated. Ultimately it looked like Karina had anxiety and he couldn’t deal with it. Additionally he got a bit of the grass is greener syndrome.
After coaching with Anna Karina decided that she needed to do something since her anxiety was eating at her and she had decided to do a 45 day no contact rule.
Watch the video above to hear the rest of the story because it takes some insane twists and turns.
- Finding a way to distract yourself during no contact is essential if you feel anxiety creeping on
- Once again, army exes are among the most difficult situations I’ve encountered due to their volatile nature
Story #10: Zoe’s Ex Told Her “I Don’t Take Ex Girlfriends Back” And Then Took Her Back
This is a great success story interview due to the large range of situations it covers. If you’ve ever found yourself in any of the following circumstances,
- Having an ex tell you that “He doesn’t take girlfriends back”
- A consistent on again/off again relationship
- Overcome with anxiety and depression
Then this is the perfect story to listen to.
- Taking everything an ex says to you during the precipice of the breakup personally itself isn’t always a good idea
- Usually when an ex gets extremely emotional and blurts out something like “I never loved you” or “we’re never getting back together” they’re doing it from an emotional headspace and may not feel that way down the road
- The key with on again/off again relationships is to find a way to break the cycle.
- If you are always the one to “beg,” “plead,” or “chase” then that behaviors needs to adjust
Story #11: Mary Got Her Ex Back And Then Decided HE Wasn’t Good Enough For Her
There’s always an initial shock after a breakup. Routines that were initially set in stone are shattered and you’re left alone to pick up the pieces yourself. Mary was wired a bit differently. After coming through our program and taking our advice to relentlessly love yourself during a breakup she found solace being alone.
Sometimes the absence of drama is enough to make you realize how volatile a relationship actually is.
The type of lesson that only hindsight can provide.
Yet Mary still got her ex back and that’s what’s truly impressive. Despite achieving the goal she set out to achieve she learned that she deserved someone better and ultimately decided to take a risk on herself.
- Once again the “moving on” from an ex becomes effective for making them want you back
- Sometimes your happy ending isn’t found in the arms of an ex but rather in the arms of yourself.
Story #12: Jo’s Ex Blocked Her, Find Out How She Still Got Him Back
Getting blocked by an ex after a breakup is hardly an uncommon experience. In fact, with the rise of social media and smart phones “blocking” behaviors have been becoming more common.
Jo didn’t technically do anything special to get unblocked by her ex.
She essentially followed our no contact mantra of,
If you want your ex back outgrow them.
She did such an amazing job of that that by the time her ex actually did come back he literally told her,
Wow, you seem so different. Like an entirely better version of yourself.
Pretty amazing, right?
- Once again the key to getting unblocked is to not overreact and playing the long game
- Outgrowing your ex and communicating that growth in a nonverbal way seems to be key to no contact