Today I have an amazing success story of one of our clients who rebuilt herself and as a result got her ex back.

Meet Ashley!

Her situation essentially ran the gamut on “ex back scenarios.”

I mean, just listen to this:

• She was high school sweethearts with her ex
• She lived together with him
• The bought an entire restaurant together
• He blocked her after the breakup

That’s essentially half of the most difficult situations all wrapped up into one.

Here’s how she got him back.

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Interview Transcript:

Chris Seiter 00:02
Okay, so today we have a another success story interview. Today we’re gonna be talking to Ashley. And the interesting thing about Ashley is I know probably as much about her situation is you listening to this? So this is gonna be an awesome interview. But thank you so much for doing this actually.

Ashley 00:21
Yeah, of course.

Chris Seiter 00:23
So like, why don’t you just sort of take us back to the beginning and tell us like a little bit about your relationship and your breakup? And what happened after that?

Ashley 00:32
Yeah, so um, we were together for 206 years at the time that we broke up. So we were together for quite some time, literally, since end of high school senior year we’ve been together. And we’re kind of

Chris Seiter 00:49
going so you’re like, high school sweethearts? Yes. Oh, that’s awesome. Okay, sorry.

00:58
No, it’s okay. And we are going through a transition in our life to where we, we bought a restaurant at a time, we both pretty much quit our jobs to do that, we had to move at the same time. It was also the time when the market was going crazy. So while we were trying to find a place near the restaurant, we were staying with his family. And I’ve always been on my own, so kind of been with, like, confined like that. I guess it just, I didn’t realize I would take a toll on me as well as our relationship. But once that started happening with the stress of the restaurant stress of being a whole new environment just being so when I felt like constricted, it puts so much tension on our relationship, and just ourselves as individuals. And it just kind of spiraled out for the both of us. And for his way of coping things as he’s from what I read from your program is a distance. avoidant or

Chris Seiter 02:14
dismissive. Yeah. But, you know, I could see, you know, the distant, dismissive, you know, same depth, right?

Ashley 02:25
Yes. For me, I was an anxious attachment. So, when there was conflict, I would be the one that was like, Okay, let’s, let’s figure this out. Let’s figure this out. And then my nerves will get high. Meanwhile, he would just shut down and be like, No, I don’t want to talk. And he would go days without talking. Meanwhile, I’m like, suffering in silence. Yeah. So I knew that that wasn’t good. Dynamic, ended up, blowing up. And I went and stay with some family out like two hours away from where we were, and for the weekend, and when, during that time, I was staying with them. He pretty much was like, come get your things. I’m gonna I’m gonna leave them on the side of the road. Like, I want to, I want you out. Like, now, and I, at that time, and these were all text messages. So I, I couldn’t even fathom just reading them. So I had my, my family. I was like you, you read them? And you tell me if I need to, like, do anything. And they were pretty much were like, yeah, so we got to figure something out. So I went and I picked up all my belongings, and I

Chris Seiter 03:47
like he literally kicked you to the curb. Like even your belongings. Yeah, everything. Well, yeah. Okay.

Ashley 03:54
So, yeah, so it was it was not, oh, it was not good. I like, and at that time, I didn’t have a place to go. So I was bouncing. Back from my family. I was two hours away and staying in my brother’s place. And by this this same time, like we had already given the keys back for the restaurant, because it was just, there was too much drama with that. And I was reminded,

Chris Seiter 04:22
do you mind if I ask you a question about that? So you guys, yeah. Did you sell this restaurant back? Or like, how did that dynamic work exactly with buying this restaurant? Yeah,

Ashley 04:31
we pretty much we were like in a contract before because it was already in a lease with the previous owner. And so we were in a contract with her. And at the end of that lease term, we were going to pay the remaining off of the restaurant and resign everything into our names. So at that point, it was just conjoined ownership with the previous owner. Right was signed as like a silent partner. But she wasn’t very silent. So we were like, okay, they’d never open. She wouldn’t let us. Yeah, she wouldn’t let us hire people or anything like that. And when we walked in there, it was just me my other half, and then we had one, one server. So we had a lot to build up on.

Chris Seiter 05:24
But and so obviously, that creates a very stressful environment.

Ashley 05:29
Yeah, especially when he has one way of thinking, I have one way of thinking when it comes to business. So very two different entities. But it was just too much. And then the landlord on top of it was just seeing too much. So we’re like, you know what, here’s the keys. Good luck, have fun. So I decided I was going to take some time away from work and go back to school full time, because I took time away off from school, to run the restaurant. And so I didn’t have a job at the time that I was kicked out, I also didn’t have a place to stay. So I had to, like rebuild everything. Which helps me in the time of not communicating, not reaching out, it was really hard to not reach out because I just kept questioning in my head like how, like this is it? This isn’t like him, like this isn’t his character? Why? I just, you know, I had so many unanswered questions. But I just kept religiously, just going through your podcasts and reading everything trying to keep my mind occupied. And then on top of that, I had to focus on school, I had to focus on finding a place and everything else. So that was kind of a little bit of a distraction. Yeah, but it was pretty strenuous.

Chris Seiter 06:55
So. So you’ve obviously kind of come into the orbit, you started learning about the No Contact Rule and the attachment styles, and you’re listening to podcasts and everything. So you’re, you’re kind of implementing what you’re, you know, the no contact at this point of the story, right?

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Ashley 07:11
Yes, yes, I was actually implementing it prior to being kicked out. I did. I was reading things prior. So I had an idea, but I was also kind of being forced into it, because he wouldn’t talk to me, and we were under the same roof. So I did the best I could to not cross paths with him. While like I was staying in a completely different room. And whenever he would come home, I, I wouldn’t be seen I would be in my room. And when he left and as typically, you know, I would try my best to not cross paths. Now there was a point in time it was I was doing the no contact before I actually discovered your program, because I was just doing research of like, how can I get myself like, in a in a better spot with when, when there’s like kind of a breakup, essentially, it’s what it was at that time. And I heard the No Contact Rule. So it’s like, okay, you know what, let me just create this distance, because we’ve never really had that distance. And it was a fun day. I think like 16 the first time. Before I got before I left the house. We actually crossed paths in the gym. And he, like I’ve never said anything I didn’t even turn around to acknowledge him. I just kept going on walking into the gym, and I was doing my thing. I had a hair appointment later that afternoon. And shortly after that, he texted me saying, Hey, can we talk? And it took me a few hours respond, because I didn’t know if I wanted to respond yet. And he just he sent me like question mark. So I’m like, holy can’t keep ignoring him.

Chris Seiter 09:04
So you broke you broke down on day? 16?

Ashley 09:08
Yeah, yeah. So I broke down day 16. I said, Yeah, we can talk. So when I came home, we did talk and he was saying how he didn’t want me out of his life, things like that. But shortly after that, it’s all rolled out. And that’s when I started back on the no contact. And me being out of the house definitely made it so much easier to not be able to do that. He also had blocked me on social media. So it wasn’t, I couldn’t reach out to him. Well, it’s

Chris Seiter 09:43
interesting. You’re taking off so many boxes here. I have your high school sweethearts. You worked together. You live together. Now you’re telling me you were blocked. Yes. And you kind of you kind of got it seems like to me, you kind of got like minigames get back together. After the 60 days, he kind of asked for you back, but then that obviously didn’t last. Is that accurate?

Ashley 10:06
Yeah, it was not entirely. He was pretty much just saying that he needed to figure themselves out. But he knew that he didn’t want things to end maybe to just slowly, like get back into.

Chris Seiter 10:21
Oh, so he’s keeping you on the hook, essentially, then

Ashley 10:24
yeah, that’s exactly what that was. Yeah.

Chris Seiter 10:27
So okay, so you spiraled out of control. Now, you’re telling me that you’ve moved out? Yeah.

Ashley 10:34
And from that point, I just, I kind of just had in my mind that I needed especially with all the anxiety that I was struggling with, I knew even from prior to that, that I wanted to get rid of this anxiety there was, it was not how I was prior, I was like, this isn’t who I am, I need to change this. So taking that separation, I start focusing back on school, like I said, I was finding a place I did find a place and I got a job. And then I started working out a lot more I was I was having some some anxiety in the gym. So I just kind of forced myself with that. And I started just getting back into a routine of things independently. And I was I, at first for a little while. I wasn’t posting on social media. I was active on social, like, I would be scrolling through social media, but I didn’t post anything. I was kind of a what I consider like a go lurker. Yeah, okay. Yeah. And, like, I also wasn’t, I wasn’t searching like anybody’s knee, like, I wasn’t searching to see if he was if I was still unblocked, or, or if I still was blocked, or anything like that. I was just kind of scrolling, naturally. But I also tried to keep myself off social media in case like, because I did have someone whose family on social media. So I didn’t want to see anything in passing that would upset me. So I do my best to kind of stay off of it to not trigger myself. And then, what was it? One day I did go on, on social medias probably like, three weeks into my second, like my official no contest. And I went to go search a friend, and I noticed that his name had popped up in my search bar with his icon. And I was like, Oh, did he unblock me? And behold, he did unblock me. So I was like, Oh, interesting. I was like, what does that mean? But I kept my I kept my composure, I didn’t want to reach out to him or anything, and then just be blocked again. So I just kept and once I noticed, I did like, unintentionally notice that I was on black. I did start posting on social media. But I did it very rarely, I would post on a story. I wouldn’t post like a picture. I posted like a story of me at the gym, and things like that. But I also would, I didn’t really show my face too much. I would show just like my feet.

Chris Seiter 13:21
I also had our feet at the gym. Yeah,

Ashley 13:23
like my feet at the gym. I had friends I would post about fun their stories, because I knew that they would be friends. And well, they actually were like, Oh, let me post a story of us. You know, he’ll see it. And I was like, Alright, let’s do it. So and he would see that I’m be I’m out with like friends and like guys that are with us. And

Chris Seiter 13:48
you get that jealousy going a little bit.

Ashley 13:51
Yeah, he wasn’t he wasn’t too fond of that. But, but yeah, I just started, I started just focusing on myself. After about like two weeks, I wasn’t too focused on the relationship. There was some times like we had our cellphone plan together, we had our insurance plan together, like there were several things that we still had to figure out. But I wasn’t focused on that. I was like, it’ll, you know, when that time comes, we’ll come. And then it came down to the round the 45 day mark, and he messaged me asking about the phone plan. He said, and well, prior to that, actually, we backtrack. I got a job with a cellular company. And there was like a strenuous training that we had to do for like, several weeks. So that was also kept me pretty occupied. And when we graduated from that training, we all took a class photo essentially. And I posted that so that was like my first thing in a while that I posted and cuz I thought that was pretty like, as big as he could Yeah,

Chris Seiter 15:04
like that. That’s a base most.

Ashley 15:08
Yeah. So I posted that and then I went back to being a ghost on social media. And around that 45 Day marquee messaged me asking about the proper cellphone plan because he knew that I was working for a different cellular company. And I was like I said something along well, first, I did posts on on the group asking for advice, like, what do I say? And realize like, Oh, you gotta you gotta keep at it. And like, Oh, but I am kind of around that point.

Chris Seiter 15:44
Yeah. 45 days. Yeah, yeah, you take it.

Ashley 15:47
Yeah. So. And so I did wait a little while to respond. I think I waited maybe like, a couple hours. And then I said, I’m not. I’m not too worried about it. At the moment. We can figure it out later. And then I did. I meant I mentioned to him saying, I didn’t ask him I did say, I would like to maybe sit down for dinner. And and, you know, talk about some things whenever you have creatively

Chris Seiter 16:21
worded it, you worded it very carefully.

Ashley 16:26
I wasn’t like asking him right then and there. He said, I would like that. And he asked me, how about that night? Like, later on that evening? And I was quick. Okay. So, yeah, we

Chris Seiter 16:44
got yourself like an instant date?

Ashley 16:47
Yes. Yeah. And so we sat, we sat down for several hours talking at dinner. And we talked about everything like because I never was able to say, like, my side of the story of, of when things spiraled out. And I know, like he had family as well, that were kind of interfering in, you know, putting words into his ear of what their perception of everything was, and without my my story of anything, so I was he we didn’t even get into that. At first, I was just saying, how are you? Like, how’s everything going? His brother was off at boot camp at the time. So it’s asking, and he recently graduated. So I was asking how his brother was. And then he was the one that actually initiated saying, like, you know, I talked about this. So I just listened to what he had to say. And I just continued, I would just nodded, I didn’t intervene, which was hard, because there’s some things I just wanted to like, interject, but I didn’t want to cut them off. And so I just let him talk, and then everything out. And then afterwards, after he said, everything he needs, say, I said, Well, let me you know, say my piece. And so I did. And he even said, once I said everything that I needed to say it was kind of like a light bulb, light bulb. That kind of went off for him to where he was able to switch his perspective. And realize that it wasn’t entirely like, my fault those how things went about. And not saying that, like I, you know, I wasn’t at fault for anything. So, but I definitely like especially being like kicked out and things like that, you know, there’s lots things that I know I was not at fault for. So having that, that that piece, you know, but we ended up just hugging it out and went on about our evening and I went back to my brother’s uptime trust the waiting for for my place to be ready. And and then that weekend, actually, he I waited a couple of days, and I messaged him, well, that evening after dinner, I did say like, you know, thank you for dinner. It was it was nice seeing you or nice talking with you and you know, getting some things off our chest. And he or she appreciated the same way. And a couple of days later, because we both really like cars and car shows. There was one going on where I was near where I was, and I reached out to him and I was like, Hey, I’m going to this I plan on going to this car show. Just wanted to see if you’d like to go along with me. And he responded saying that he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that. And I was like completely fine. You know, I understand and He actually I ended up not going to the car show. He actually did decide to go to the car show thinking that I was gonna be there. When he saw that I wasn’t there, he messaged me and was like, Hey, do you have plans for today? And I go, No, not that I can think of. And then he invited me out that evening.

Chris Seiter 20:29
So, after you stood him up at the car show, he invites you out later that evening.

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Ashley 20:37
Yeah, but I didn’t. I didn’t necessarily

Chris Seiter 20:44
look at my perspective from the optics, you invite him and then you don’t show up. So But what’s interesting is it really worked you got so obviously you go on this. I guess this is more of a romantic date. If he’s inviting you out at night. Would it be is that you kind of took it.

Ashley 21:02
That’s not really how I like it. Because we went to um, are you familiar with like, Halloween Horror Nights?

Chris Seiter 21:10
Yeah. Okay. It’s around October.

21:14
Yes. So though

Chris Seiter 21:15
you can easily argue that can be like, like, you know, you go into something scary. And it kind of, you know, makes you want to grab on, you know, I’m just saying, yes. You know, it’s

Ashley 21:29
something that we’ve always done. Yeah, no, he definitely didn’t know what he was doing. But it was something that we always we did every year with each other since we started dating. And we even said, when we’re at dinner, we were talking about the Halloween Horror Nights. And we were both like, yeah, just, you know, I was planning on going with some, some friends myself, but it just didn’t seem right. Didn’t feel right. Not going without him. He said, Yeah, that’s exactly how I felt. And so I, when we went, in my mind, I was like, you know, this is strictly going to be platonic. I don’t want to push anything, I don’t want to rush anything, to where he’s going to get pushed away. And so I didn’t like reach for his hand, we had a few drinks prior to going in. And that’s exactly how I kept it was strictly platonic. And then we ended up getting some drinks, and we sat on a bench, and we’re just sitting there just kind of people watching. And he went over and kissed me. And I was like, whines I was, like, where did that come from? And he said, it just felt right.

Chris Seiter 22:41
Okay, so what, though? What happens next?

Ashley 22:45
Um, so basically, from there, what’s gonna happen next, actually, from there? I’m,

Chris Seiter 22:51
like, I guess I’m getting as how long did it take after that point, to get a commitment out of him?

Ashley 22:59
To actually see the opposite. So, at that point in time, I was pretty secure with where I was, to where I, I was like, okay, you know, if you want this, you’re gonna have to show me once this because I’m not going to continue Chase. Yes, like that clearly wasn’t working. So. And I think it scared him a little bit. Now, like seeing that I was going to school, I got this new job, I got this place by myself. Like I was doing all these things without him being there when we were next, you know, hip to hip with each other throughout several years prior. And I think that that scared him a little bit. And for a few months, after, actually about a month after that, we only would meet up for dinner every so often, or go get dessert together. Every so often. And we would text each other but we weren’t like kind of going back into old habits to where we were seeing each other every single day, you know, staying the night. This scenario like that.

Chris Seiter 24:14
Were you texting each other every day though?

24:17
Not really.

Chris Seiter 24:19
So it was just like sporadic here and there as friends with text.

Ashley 24:24
Yes, because I I refuse to text first. For a little bit, for a little bit. I was having him reach out to me first. For like several weeks to, I’m like, Okay, do you really want to have a conversation with me, you know, trying to see like where he was at with everything. And then it just started gradually progressing and progressing. And then I moved into my place. And he would come over every so often and then go back to where he was saying And then he started saying a little bit more and more. And then he asked me, he was like, you know, I just want to know, like, where you’re at, he was asking if I was talking with other people. And I said no, like, not at all. I’ve never wanted to talk to anybody else. If I wasn’t talking to you, I wasn’t talking to nobody. And so he got a little worried. But that’s kind of where that commitment came by. And keep in mind, I didn’t mention this prior, but we were engaged. Before we initially split up, we were actually supposed to get married that November.

Chris Seiter 25:41
That seems like a big Ashley, that seems like a very big detail to kind of leave out out there.

Ashley 25:49
Yeah, so we were actually engaged. And he, he called it off, but I still had the engagement ring when we split up. And when we rekindled when we had that conversation that he initiated, he initiated a conversation. I told him, I’m like, I’m just kind of going with the flow with things, seeing how everything’s going, I’m trying not to, you know, bring bring any old habits back. And he was the same way. Like if there was a disagreement or not really disagreement. It was more of just a conversation. It was like, not how was in the past where this disagreement was turned into some sort of conflict. I would say something he didn’t, you know, didn’t see it that way. He would actually want to talk about it, versus before he was being so avoided. And so I started seeing that change as well. And I was like, okay, yeah, he’s really, he’s really trying to make a change. And for this to really work, I did end up giving him the ring back. Once I felt comfortable, I was contemplating it for a little while. But I sat down with him. And I gave him the ring back. And I said, when you are 110% Ready, to, you know, to be committed. Right? Yeah. And, and to plan a wedding and you’re 110% understanding or believing that I’m going to say yes, then you can ask me again. I feel like that was 100%.

Chris Seiter 27:30
That was a smart move on your part. That’s the right way.

Ashley 27:36
I, I felt, I felt pretty confident about it. I like I said, I thought about it first.

Chris Seiter 27:41
That’s sort of a sort of a think like, you know, you’re making a bet, like this ring is gonna come back to me. Like, it’s still really around your finger. But you know, it’s just a while before it arrives.

Ashley 27:53
Yeah, exactly. So, but now, we’re just kind of, we’ve had the conversation several times, you know, what we what we want out of life. And, you know, he definitely wants to have marriage within the future and, and for us to buy a house together. But I told him, I was like, You know what, before we go on with the marriage, I wanted to be able to be settled, and, you know, stable before we do that. And we’re both on that understanding of it.

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Chris Seiter 28:26
So the thing, just your story that struck me so much was how patient you were, which is interesting to hear you describe yourself as having an anxious attachment style, because that is like literally the antithesis of someone with an anxious attachment style. But I feel like towards the end, just have extreme patience. Like, most of the time, if a guy would kiss our clients, they would be the ones to kind of rush to the commitment conversation, but you literally just kind of stayed cool. And I guess my my question is, how, how did Were you always this patient? Or was this something that you made a conscious decision to do after the breakup?

Ashley 29:09
It was just a conscious decision. I’ve had I’ve been patient, you know, prior to certain to certain extent, like if we got into an argument and he would just go sleep, or sleeping on silent treatment for several days, like, I would try and like let him cool down. But then it would get to a point where I’m like, alright, we need to talk, you know, but this time, you know, of course, now that we’re split up, like there’s no reason for me to reach out. But with I just because of the program and like everything that I was reading, I was just trusting the process. And that’s, that’s what was helping me and it was distracting me of saying like, okay, yeah, what’s your feeling right now? It’s valid, but you don’t want to be react. active on it.

Chris Seiter 30:02
I wish you could

Ashley 30:03
have reminding myself,

Chris Seiter 30:05
I wish you could just tell that to every single person that comes to the program, because that’s what they need to hear. I mean, you kind of are but on a personal basis, but no one has that kind of time. There was one other question that sort of struck me. Did you ever talk to your ex when you got him back about why he blocked? You?

30:28
Know, oh, man,

Chris Seiter 30:30
so I’d be, do you have any idea or guesses, because there’s a lot of people who are feeling completely helpless in a situation where their access blocked them. And the only thing I can usually tell them is like, hey, the statistics show that if you do nothing, and just kind of stay patient, to your credit, they’ll unblock you without you having to do much. But that’s a lot to take on faith for a lot of people. So do you have any idea like what was going through your head during that time.

Ashley 30:59
Um, I will say my assumption as to why he blocked me was because in the past, because I was so anxious, and I was the anxious attachment, I was always reaching out. And he didn’t, he didn’t want any, any sort of way for me to reach out to him. And which I really respected. In regards to trying to cope with that, on the receiving end, is, it’s hard, it’s hard to say, because it really is just coming down to trusting the process. You have to, you have to trust the you know, whichever way it’s gonna go. Whichever way it’s gonna go. That’s what’s meant to happen, you know, and as long as you’re following the program, and you’re doing the things you’re gonna need you need to do in the end is just, you’re finding yourself, and that’s where the person, you know, come once you find yourself, they end up coming back.

Chris Seiter 32:11
No, I, I try to tell people that exact thing, but it’s the whole faith argument. Like, it’s really hard for people to hear that. And I’m sure at one point, you were there, too, you know, like, there’s moments of doubt, and everything like that. How do you feel you? Because you like just listening to, you know, your story? It seems to me like you had just a lot of mental strength. Because as you’re talking, I’m writing down notes, you know, you had so the there’s three adjectives that I wrote when I was listening to your story, patience, independence, and outgrowth. So it’s like, you were incredibly patient. You you outgrew your x, or you outgrew the previous relationship. And what I noticed is you started doing things that show that you could be independent on your own, like, you got the job, you started going back to school, you got the apartment, you mentioned that you had always done things together with him, like hand in hand. And for the first time, he’s starting to see oh, wow, she can survive without me. How did you I guess, like, what was your mentality to start achieving these things? Because it’s, it’s impressive, quite frankly.

Ashley 33:28
Um, well, I, I personally, I because I grew up, like I said, I grew up by myself prior to us. And when I was super young, while I was a super young, I was 19, I had lost my mom. And that’s how I had to, like, start really growing independently, and like I had to find a place I had to do things on my own. And what I kept telling myself is, I’ve been through worse. And I’ve done this before I can do it again.

Chris Seiter 34:05
Confidence, basically, you had confidence with yourself, like you’d be able to get through this. And I think maybe that’s the difference between someone who’s struggling and someone who’s not because you’ve been through war before essentially you knew that no matter how bad it got you there’s a light at the end of the tunnel whereas I feel like sometimes we get clients who are completely codependent on their axes and they don’t have that confidence to brave the storm, so to speak. So do you have any advice for someone like that? Like how did what works for you, I guess is what I’m asking.

Ashley 34:41
When the time so I felt like that I was just kind of crying to myself and the anxiety was high. I kept like just reading and I was reading about you know how how to pretty much better yourself. mentally and emotionally. And those things helped me with a competence. When I felt the lowest thing was, like, you know, working out and things like that I just, I had to push myself, I really did have to push myself to do those things. Because a lot of the days, I just didn’t want to do anything, it was just, there’s too much anxiety for me to even handle certain day to day, things or even a conversation because my head was just going a million miles a second. But I just had to, I had to find my other ways of, of distracting myself to within, of course, a ways to grow. So it wasn’t just like, simply distracting my mind, I was distracting my mind and things I worked with that were going to better myself. That was gonna make me happier. So like, you know, working out reading, I was, you know, going to school, I was just trying to do things for myself. I was trying to take it day by day also. And each day, I was doing at least one little thing. It didn’t matter if it was like a bath or, you know, a shower. You know, I went and took myself out to dinner I was doing one thing was taking

Chris Seiter 36:17
care of yourself. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you’re bettering your circumstances, you’re taking care of yourself, you’re improving. And I guess it has like a cumulative effect. You know, like, day after day of doing these little small things, it starts to add up and you start to get more confident. And I guess you kind of had a really beautiful snowball effect, where you almost got even like an interesting little hint around, do your first no contact like day 16 You said, where you kind of see where his head was, like he he was sort of like 70% out, but 30% still wanting to hold on it maybe it wasn’t until you moved out and you started doing all of that stuff, that he started to recognize the opportunity cost of being without you was worse than being with you. So you know, that? So let’s let’s get down to the fun details. Has he proposed again yet?

37:22
No, he has not right. Shame on him.

Chris Seiter 37:26
That’s, that’s the next mile. So we gotta get you that ring back.

Ashley 37:30
Yes, it is, is me I’m the one that’s not pulling on off on it. Because you said many times, he’s like, you know, I just want to, you know, focus on us, and, you know, the wedding and this and that. And I go well, hold your horses. You know, we’re not quite there yet. It’s only been several months, since we’ve really rekindled. So. I want to give it some more time. And you know,

Chris Seiter 37:54
it’s for good this time. You know, no more. Yeah. breakups.

37:58
Yes, exactly.

Chris Seiter 38:00
So any final words for anyone listening, that you’d like to impart words of knowledge.

Ashley 38:08
Um, I would just say it’s this, this breaking up, you can’t focus on it’s so hard not to, but you really have to push yourself to try not to focus on the other person or the relationship or what happens then you have to really take that time to rebuild yourself. And like I said, the feelings are all valid, you know, being hurt frying, that, like, everything is all valid, but you have to take those feelings and utilize them for your strength as becoming a better person, for yourself. And once once you do that, you know, you’ll start having the confidence to where you’re like, Okay, well, I can do all these things on my own. I don’t need that person. And if they come back, it’s up to you. Like do you know, do I still want them to be in my life? I don’t need them to be in my life.

Chris Seiter 39:09
I love that. I mean, that’s just thank you so much for coming on and doing this.

39:15
Yeah, of course. Of course.