7 Definitive Steps On How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You

5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

Stitches

September 17, 2016 at 2:34 pm

Hi! This site is helping me so much but I just need a solid plan on what to do for my situation. Me and my ex boyfriend have been dating for 3 months but we’ve known each other for 4. We dated over the summer and we were constantly talking or seeing each other almost everyday. We’ve had no fights or any arguments. We both genuinely loved spending time together and talking to each other. Then things started to get tricky because we’re both still in school, he works with a full time job, and I have a part time job. Then we also have our own lives thrown into the mix. Basically we’ve been trying to spend time together at least once a week for 3 weeks now and talking to each other when we weren’t busy. Then suddenly he texted me “I think we need to talk about this”. Possibly the most dreadful thing I’ve heard because I knew what was coming. The day after he texted me that we meet up and I already knew why he was breaking up with me. We didn’t have time for each other like we used to. He said he wanted to take a break for now and eventually we might or might not get back together, but he just can’t have a relationship right now because he needs to focus on school and it wouldn’t be fair for me if he couldn’t spend time with me. He says we could still be friends and hang out as friends whenever we can. We also established that our feelings haven’t changed for each other because we had no problems in the relationship. So the feelings were still there in the relationship, we just didn’t have the time. This all happened 2 days ago by the way. So my question is: How would I go about getting back together with him once our schedules clear up? During this point and the possible time we get back together, what steps do I take to ensure he’ll miss me and get back together with me for our particular situation?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 20, 2016 at 5:28 am

Hi Stitches,

just spend more time once your schedule clears up and while it hasn’t dony let go of yourself.. if you can squeeze in improving yourself do it

One tired woman

September 17, 2016 at 1:35 pm

I am a little hesitant to post on here, but here it goes. About 14 months ago I meant my ex. We started things off slowly, just having fun and really getting to know each other. He seemed super excited to find someone like me. About 5 months beforehand, his previous relationship ended. His ex fiancé cheated on him, ultimately left him for someone else. (To this day he won’t admit that she left him for someone else, he is denial, he thinks it was just a one time hook up) Anyways, the games started pretty quickly. I look back now and realize I should have seen the signs, but at first I just thought he was a little guarded and it was kind of cute. I knew he’d be scared, hesistant, and I knew it would take time for him to trust me. This was not a problem, I’m a woman of patience and have no problem waiting for the right man to learn to trust again. What I didn’t know, was just how far someone would go, to avoid getting close. I didn’t know how much someone was willing to let fear make all of their choices, and that he was willing to do whatever it takes, hurt me over and over, to protect his own feelings from ever potentially getting hurt. I think he’s a good man, honestly I don’t know anymore. Maybe he’s just playing the victim. Every time we would get close, he’d disappear. Over the last year we have had a couple breaks, and in those short breaks he would talk to another girl for like a week or 2. I was always devestated. But he’d always get bored, realize he was self sabotaging and come back begging for a chance. A couple months ago he finally officially asked me to be exclusive, to be his girlfriend. It was everything I ever hoped for. And it lasted one week. A girl who was into him the previous year, was texting him and I was not comfortable with it. He told me I was overreacting and being ridiculous. I told him because of the girls in the past, I wouldn’t put up with this, and he lost my trust and needed to earn it back and this was not helping. Out of my own fear now, I ended things dramatically because he would do nothing to eliminate this other girl from his life. A few days later I started begging him to meet me and talk this out. I explained why I acted that way, and that I felt he should have done more to make me feel secure because of the times before that other girls have come between us. I begged for weeks for him to talk to me, to see me. I told him I didn’t want another break, and that if he went off and did something destructive again like hook up with this girl, that we simply couldn’t survive it. That we would never come back from it. During these couple weeks, he would text me long paragraphs in the middle of the night about how much I hurt him by breaking up with him right when he’s comfortable and ready to be in a relationship again, he would snap me pictures of little trinkets I left in his house. But he would never just have a back and forth conversation. I asked him one more time to meet me, and if he chose not to, I was going to move on. He didn’t show up. That was about 2 and half weeks after the break up. A few days later he would snapchat me. He would snap me a picture almost daily. About a month after the break up, you could tell he was clearly trying to get my attention. I would snap him back occasionally but nothing back and forth. A few days later he finally started texting me telling me that he missed me and he would like to talk. He admitted he ended up messing around with that same girl I was worried about after we broke up. I lost it. Yet we still continued to talk daily for the last couple weeks. Mostly just him apologizing and begging and me calling him out on all his lies and games. Finally last week, I agreed to meet him. He apologized to me in person, said he was sorry that he hurt me so much out of fear, and that he wishes he could take it all back. I kept my stance and kept telling him he ruined any chance for us because I will never trust him again. Because I’m an emotional wreck, he ended up sleeping over and we slept together. It was amazing, like always, our connection has always been indesicrable. The next day, he flirted with me through text a little. But that’s about it. I would randomly tell him how much he hurt me and he would apologize. It’s been a few days since we hooked up, I’ve heard from him less since we hooked up, than before we did. He’s not begging for a chance. He’s not fighting for me. I can admit that I never said I’d give him one, but it’s because I deserve to be fought for. I don’t wanna have to tell him how to get me back, I need to see the effort. He knows I want him to fight for me. I thought he would ask to see me again. I got really upset with him the other night because we were talking about us and he just ghosted me. He parties with his friends all night and just ignored me. And I keep thinking to myself, shouldn’t he be focusing on us right now if he really wanted this?? Why Am I not the center of his universe?? I just agreed to meet him and talk, and slept with him after everything he’s put me through! He should be doing backflips for this chance. We haven’t talked much since. It’s been 4 days since we met up. He hasn’t talked much about his feelings I lashed into him yesterday because he was asking me why I never respond to him but whenever I do, he ignores me. It’s game after game. And of course, after I send that long text he ignores me for 6 hours and says he left his phone at home. I felt like it was just another game and so I didn’t reply. He texted me again in the middle of the night saying he really did leave his phone at home, and that he has feelings for me he just doesn’t know how to show it…..my head hurts. Are these just games? Am I just a security blanket? Or does this emotionally messed up man actually care about me but can’t just accept it and act on it accordingly? I don’t know what to do.

Almost broken

September 23, 2016 at 9:06 am

Oh gosh this is scarily similar to my story. The constant mind games, him claiming fear for being nice to me for a few days, then pulling away and acting cold. This went on for 9 months.

I literally broke it off with him yesterday… told him I don’t like the way he treats me. Would never take me on a proper date. No effort to be there for me when I needed just reassurance and emotional support, yet I was always there for him. He was so cold for the past 3 weeks I just couldn’t bear it anymore.

Problem is we work together… worse, we sit next to each other!! At least I’m on holiday for a week so gives me a breather…

I hope things work out for you x
Liv

September 20, 2016 at 10:28 pm

Oh my goodness I swear we are talking about the same ex!! Are you in Canada too?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 19, 2016 at 1:43 pm

Hi One tired woman,

you need to set your expectation and convey your standards clearly.. If the only thing you want is for him to stop talking to other girls and feel you’re important to him, say it. And then don’t sleep with him if you’re not together yet. If he’s not making the effort after you clearly said what you want, then that means you have to pull away.. We can’t control other people. That’s why we need to know what are non negotiables are, because in that way, we will know if the current person is right.

P

September 17, 2016 at 1:36 am

I’m glad I came across this website. I broke up with my boyfriend about a week ago. This isn’t our first break up. It’s a cycle. We’re into each other one moment, fighting the next, broken up, back together and all over again. He used to tell me that he wanted to marry me. I’d met his mother and I was friends (still am) with his brother. We’ve known each other for over 4years but we’ve been dating for 2yrs on and off. I just felt he was insensitive sometimes but my major issue with him was that I’m a God-fearing person and I take my faith seriously even though I’m not perfect, he’s a Christian too but we don’t share values on the same level. He smokes and I don’t like it but I pu up with it. I encouraged him to dump the habit but He didn’t and after a series of breakups I decided to be more understanding and open minded and when we got back, he was really good and sweet, better than past times but when he gets angry he gives me the silent treatment and can end up using vulgar words on me so I felt disrespected many times. I love him, I really do. We saw eachother yesterday and I was so nervous but he didn’t speak to me. I broke up this time cause it was just too much for me, he refused to talk to me and kept saying the problem was with him, that he needed to fix himself, the day before I broke up, when the issues started again, I had a panic attack and I kept calling and texting him to just talk to me and help me calm down cause I was alone but he refused. I was so hurt. He was furious when we broke up. There was a lot of name calling and stuff, I think the trust and respect we had for eachother been hurt but I’m really hoping there’s a chance for us again. I just want a drama free relationship but I know certain things have to change. Is there a chance? Can I get him back and will he change?

P

September 20, 2016 at 11:18 pm

Yes, I’m doing the no contact rule. I haven’t tried to contact him since we broke up and he hasn’t come around either. I’m just focusing on myself right now and it’s funny how the thought of him doesn’t cross my mind so much any longer. Maybe it’s better that way cause with the way things are, I’m not sure we have a chance right now.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 22, 2016 at 7:18 pm

That’s good. Keep improving yourself even after doing nc.. and do new things! Make new friends 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 19, 2016 at 10:24 am

Hi P,

You cant force somebody to change..If you dont like him smoking, ask him not to do it around you but dont try to force him to stop it… that’s his choice.. are you going to do no contact rule?

Natalie

September 16, 2016 at 8:21 am

Hi

I posed here yesterday but the post is not here now. I really need advice.

My ex and I dated for about two months. We both got very serious quickly. He would call me all day, and we would go out on dates on weekends. He told me a few times that he really likes me a lot, is falling very badly with each passing day and cannot do without me.

Then in the last twenty days he has stopped things started getting sour. We started arguing on small things. Maybe I started expecting from him but he couldn’t fulfill my expectations and thats why the fights. So in one of the arguments he got irritated and told me that he needs to figure this out because he doesnt think he will be able to keep me happy. I told him that all couples fight and we will get over this phase.

A week after, we were fighting on some issue and he again told me that he will never be able to keep me happy. He doesnt have it in him. He has never done anything for his past girlfriends. He also said that what I expect out of him is very normal and girl would expect the same, but he can still not do it. He has never been this serious in a relationship before and he cant deal with it. He doesnt want to be in a relationship anymore. I told him lets take things slow but he didnt agree and broke up with me.

Two days after that he sent me a text saying that I am the best girl he has ever met, he likes me a lot but liking is not everything to sustain a relationship. That day, I really begged him to take me back, told him that we wll figure it all out, asked him to meet me once but he neither did he take me back nor did he meet me.

The next day, I started the No Contact. 5 days into the no contact he called me twice but I didnt answer. When I didnt answer, he sent me a text after a few hours saying that he was working out, phone was in his pocket and dialed my number by mistake. I didnt reply.

Dp you see any hope here? I really want him back because the chemistry in initial few weeks was amazing. I know it for a fact that he really liked me and I was also falling for him. Will the No contact help? What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 18, 2016 at 12:33 pm

Hi Natalie,

Although we can’t guarantee that it will work, I think it can still help increase your chances. DO 21 days, and use to improve yourself and then after that, slowly rebuild rapport with him again.

mika

September 16, 2016 at 7:26 am

Hi,

My ex is suffering from quarterlife crisis and suddenly fell out of love. We had 3 great years and I don’t know, he said he wants to feel the love he once had for me but he just can’t and he’s frustrated with that. I decided to break up and he halfheartedly agreed because he says he doesn’t want to lose me but he’s not in love anymore. It’s been 2 weeks since the BU and even if he texted me the day after our BU I haven’t contacted him until now. I want him back. 🙁 How?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 17, 2016 at 3:02 pm

Hi Mika,

I answered your first comment. I’m just going to copy paste my answer there here ok?

I think you should do 30 days..and then listen to these for what to do during no contact period.
The “How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You” Video
EBR 003: Does Having Your Own Life Help You Get Your Ex Back?

Rae

September 15, 2016 at 10:05 pm

I am day 5 of no contact and my ex texted me saying idk why you’re ignoring me ? Do I just ignore that and keep him guessing

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 17, 2016 at 12:24 pm

Hi Rae,

yes, you have to ignore his snaps and messages. Check this so you have a guide on the conditions of breaking no contact. EBR 046: Can You Ever Break The No Contact Rule?

Hanging in there

September 14, 2016 at 11:41 am

Hello,
I was with my ex for almost 2,5 years. He is from the other side of the world and we met doing work together in Canada. He followed me to my country for 4 months followed by being apart for 3 months then Reuniting in Japan being togehter for 6 months then being apart again for 4 months then reuniting again for 8 months (we were doing LDR when being apart). Since we both love to travel I bought him a 3 months backpacking trip and we had a really good time if you asked me. But at the end of the trip when we knew we were going to be apart again he then asked me if we could go on a break and see other people whilst being apart (he is 21 and I’m 24) He said that he felt he had some things he wanted to experience before setteling with me and he also said that the distance between us was bothering him and he felt he couldn’t live his life when we weren’t together because he would think about me having a bad time back home without him and that he felt guilty. I told him no to the break because I simply couldn’t understand why he wanted to see other girls and I felt threatened (at this time in our relationship I had gaint some weight and probably didn’t care to much about how I looked in front of him (would say I was a bit to comfortable) anyways I convinced him that we would be fine and I agreed to only skype him once a week when he was away so he could keep his mind off me. We then went back home to my country and then he had to leave only 2 days to see his sister in England followed by going home to visit family before he went off to the country where he is working. it went alright the first few weeks but as soon as he left his family and took the flight to his work I didn’t hear from him in a few days, then I messaged him asking him how it was going, and he just replied with “its fine, gotta go” and then I got angry and suggested we should go on that break (only because I thought it would scare him) but to my surprise he said “yes we could try that” then I got more angry and convinced him to skype me and then he tried to break up with me and i convinced him yet again that we could make it work. but then I lied in the famous foster position for 2 days feeling crap because i didn’t want to be in a relationship that was forced. I got his sister to call him and ask what was going on since i felt he wasn’t telling me the truth. but he told her that I was the one he wanted to marry someday. after hearing that I got the confidence to tell him that I needed his love too and that I didn’t want to be in a relationship like this, then he said sorry and agreed that he would show me love. The next day he send me a cute love song “there won’t ever be another girl like you”, but after that i didn’t hear from him again for a few days, I then messaged him again asking what was going on and he told me that he would skype me soon. When we then skyped he broke up for good I could see it that this time there was nothing I could do.. I was of course heartbroken (still am) and started the whole begging thing because i didn’t know better. To my surprise it was working a little bit, he skyped me and said that he missed me too and he was really happy that I was whilling to change and bla bla bla he actually kept me hoping for two weeks and even showed me of to one of his friends whereafter he told me that he just wanted to show him how good looking his ex was.. anyways I suggested to meet him at the top of the Eiffeltower in November if we both still had feelings and he agreed and told he would probable buy the tickets straight away. But then we came in an argument because I kept being needy and couldn’t stop messaging him. then he blocked me on facebook and I just had enough. 5 days later he then unblocked me and messaged me that he was sorry and that he just needed some time not seeing me and asked me how I was. I didn’t answer that night but woke up the next day with a ridicolus hangover and was very angry at him for messaging me since I was trying to move on and finally had a good day untill he messaged me. So stupid enough I answered the message with rage and hate in a long message to him I regretted it instantly but found out that you can’t delete messages from Facebook so the only choice i had for him not to read it was to become his friend and ask him to delete it. which is what happened then I tried to be his friend for a few days but when I told him about my anxiety he just said that he didn’t want to talk about that stuff because it made him in a bad mood.. So I decided that he couldn’t be my friend and then I e-mailed him one last E-mail saying that I deserved better and that I didn’t think the way he did all of this was okay, and that I couldn’t be friends with the person he was now. then I blocked him on facebook, snapchat and unfollowed him on insta and spotify. He replied to my e-mail saying that he completely understood my last e-mail and that he wished me luck on my next adventure. I had told him that my grandma had got her cancer back and he wrote that he was sorry and that he had messaged her wishing her the best, he also needed some bank details which he asked for (I send those to his mother so I didn’t have to reply the mail) then he mentioned what a great time he was having and that life was great and he ended the E-mail with wishing me a good life that I deserve. I went into no contact of course and have been in no contact for 32 days now without hearing anything from him. I have lost tons of weight and put up heaps of hot photos on instagram I have changed a lot in a good way and I myself believe to a point that I have a good chance of winning him back (he doesn’t follow me on insta but I know he can still see what I post and since thats now the only place he can stalk me I would assume thats what he does) He normally doesn’t post a lot on insta but a couple of days ago a few days after I posted hot photos he then for the first time after our backpacking trip posted a video of him doing awesome at work. anyways I have decided to do 45 days of no contact since I was very needy and begging. Tomorrow I will go to London with my friends and have an epic time and get some of our mutual friends to post heaps of good photos on facebook that he can see. I might also move to london in october and i know he will be there shotly in November so hoping that he might want to meet up then after I break the no contact rule with rembering message for him… how does this sound???? Is this even a solid plan ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 17, 2016 at 5:08 pm

Hi Hanging in there,

yes, that’s a good plan.. The only reminder for you is that, don’t rush it after nc.. build rapport first before meeting up.. But other than that, keep being amazing! 🙂

Nafi

September 14, 2016 at 11:30 am

I had been 8 months in a relationship with a guy from another country.2 months ago he invited me and i met him in his country i was there 5 days but because of his job we could be together 3 days.It was our first meeting.
When i got my visa he said it is early that you want to see me and i said YOU told me and he said nothing and said sure ,i want to see you soon …When we met ,the last day,he said its a pity we werent together more days and he said dont forget to be keep in touch with me.
When i came back to my country,i thought im going to prepare myself to live with him at least for knowing each other more then when i told him he said i know you 5% lets keep on talking then i started crying and i said:you wont know me from the far ,i have to come there.
Then he said :let me tell you something,i didnt have special feeling in bed.then i told him so
you want a b***h besides your d*** is small but since i love you it is not big deal.
He got upset and i appologized and begged him to forgive me.He told me it is better we should be just as a friend till he forget what i said to him.then till one month everyday i started talking with him and he replied me very short.Once again i mentioned him to live with him and he said he doesnt interested being with me cause he still suffering from what i said. I asked a friend to put an audio for me and i forwarded for him to make him jealous then he said ok,goodbye be happy in your life.
Then i told him i adore when you get jealous so you still love me.He is just a friend and know about you and you can ask him.He doesnt reply.The day after i told him if he can help me cause i had problem with my laptop …No response then i said im going to travel and need my laptop and he said he cant help me.
Now its been 10 days that he and i havent sent any msg to each other.After 4 weeks of no contact,how should i start ? if he replies me in the first day ,then should i start talking to him the next day?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 17, 2016 at 4:46 pm

Hi Nafi,

You’re going to fast for him. He doesn’t want you to live with him, because it’s too soon to live in together. And then saying those things and making him jealous is just toxic. It’s immature. If you are going to do a no contact rule, that means you need to work out on being independent first.. He has to sees that you have your own life and that you’re not going to push with living together again. So, whatever you start during no contact, you have to continue doing it even while talking to him.

Toni

September 14, 2016 at 3:40 am

I was with a man for almost 5 months. In that time frame we got along extremely well. We spent every weekend together and at least one night a week together. He was very level headed. We were able to think alike almost all of the time. We had agreed that we would be committed to each other but not marry. The last day that he spoke to me he held me in his arms and said that he was planning to change my last name and that our marriage would be at the justice of the peace. This did take me by surprise because we had clearly made no agreements on even marrying. I had grown to love him and given more time I would of agreed to marry him. He was under a great deal of stress. His hours at work had been cut. He was scrambling to recover a $900+ a week loss in pay. He had commented that he needed time away to figure out how he was going to pay all of his bills. He didn’t want my family to be drug down by his financial problems. He was also dealing with his daughters not being well cared for by their mother. Her friends had reported her to dhs. He was unsure how to deal with that issue. He planned a trip to go visit his daughters which live in another state. Told me he would be in contact but he wasn’t sure how much until he came back. Gave me a hug and kiss and left. Never to return messages or calls from me. That was 2 weeks ago 3 if you count the week spent with his daughters. I did message him the morning he was leaving I told him hope he had a safe drive enjoy his time with his family. Please let me know he made it safe. I also messaged the day he was to return. I got no response to either. I at this point was emotional. I wrote a message asking why he wasn’t responding, that he has almost every trait I could want in a man. I however am not ok with the sudden lack of communication. I would like to know what could possibly be going on. What do you think? Is he just trying to fix his personal issues and plans to return, or was something wrong that he walked away and isn’t coming back? I love him and would like to have him back. What are the chances of him coming back? Should I wait or walk. i have been going out with friends and kept busy. It still hasn’t helped with the pain of loosing a man that complimented my life on all levels. I have not been in contact at all for 2 weeks. He hasn’t spoken to me in 3 weeks. Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 17, 2016 at 11:52 am

Hi Toni,
So, you broke up on the day that he left? I think he wants to just focus in his life right now because he has a lot to fix. So, he had to let go of you because his hands are already full

Wlm

September 13, 2016 at 5:45 pm

My ex broke up with me 2 days ago, after 3 perfect months together. He aproached me in may, after he searched for me for 5 months, since he saw me in the university(he told me he fell in love with me since the first time he saw me). He was 2 cm shorter than me, but i never cared about that. He always said he loves me, he always said that i am gorgeous and perfect. We did not have sex yet, but we planned it on the 1st of october(because i am a virgin). He always treated me perfect. 3 days before the breakup, we went for the first time out with his friends, because he wanted me to know thembefore he left back in his country. When we were with his friends, in the first twi hours, he treated me great, after that, he started being cold, and started avoiding me(he talked more to his friends than with me and he didn’t hold hands with me) And when he got back home(only for 3 weeks, because he is not from the same country) he started being cold. He didn’t write to me if he got back safe, as he always did, and after 2 days, he told me that we need to break up. All of the sudden. I asked him for an explaination, and he said that he was not atractted by me on the exterior…he said that we are not good for each other on the exterior… but he was the perfect guy ever. Will we have any chance? I am 20. He is 22.

Wlm

September 16, 2016 at 6:58 am

In fact now he wants me back…but he said he wants me to get dressed more feminin and he wants me to loose wait…and also, for the moment he doesn’t want to tell anyone we are back together… i don’t know what to say…. i mean i really love him, for real, but the reasons he broke up with me are pretty stupid… and i don’t know if he really loved/loves me, or it is something else… please, help me…
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 18, 2016 at 4:43 pm

yeah, and the conditions he asks are pretty shallow too..think about very carefully first before getting back with him in those conditions
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 15, 2016 at 3:54 pm

Hi Wlm,

Is it really that, or things were just going too fast for him?

Suhey

September 13, 2016 at 2:23 am

Hey, I need help. I was with my boyfriend for almost two years and everything was great. He is an amazing guy and he has treated me like one else has ever. I believe I have done the same for him. We were best friends. He didn’t have much friends. I was rally his bestest friend. And he was mine. We are each other’s first love and even lost our virginity to each other. We are 19 and were already talking about our future together. Like any couple, we would argue from time to time. Even though we are In love some arguments almost led to break ups. A month ago, I went out to a fast food place with another guy in the middle of the night and the guy kissed me. I had no idea that he was going to do so but I felt guilty and told my boyfriend about it. It was very hard for me to tell him but I did so because I did not want to hide it from him. He was very very upset especially because the guy who kissed me was a guy who works out at the same gym as him. And the gym where I work at! I still work there now. He fought the guy and broke up with me and told me he could never forgive me for it. He feels betrayed because never expected me to do that to him. I begged him to forgive me and have cried a lot. I still do from time to time because I’m really hurt. He said he can only see me like a friend for now and that only time can tell. He really loves me but sometimes he is bipolar about the situation. One day he will want me to go over and watch a movie and the next he will be upset and not want to text me for hours. Last week I went over to his house and we were talking, he told me he was going to try to fix things with me and we had sex. But now things are back to how they were at the begining, just friends because he can’t get over the problem. I know it takes time. I really regret getting in that car and going out to the fast food place with the guy. But I’m scared that he will slowly fall out of love with me. He can’t get it through his head and he always keeps asking “why! Why would you do that to me?” and I really don’t have an answer to it. I just know I regret and I’m very sorry I wish I could take it back. I don’t feel like eating, talking to anyone, or going out. He has been going out with friends and even told me he drove a girl to Starbucks. He admitted that the girl was no where near like me and that he does love me but that he doesn’t know if he can get passed this. I’m always thinking about him and hoping he can forgive me one day. I feel like his pride is holding him back. He says he doesn’t believe in love anymore. And that he will never love anyone like he’s loved me. I’m also scared that right now he is “trying” to fix things and then one day tell me he really can’t forgive me for this. We talk on the phone, text and see each other whenever he wants to hang out. but it’s not the same at all. I don’t know what to do. I’m scared and heartbroken. Do I still have a second chance with him ? How long can it take for him to forgive me? Or is he never going to?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 14, 2016 at 3:41 pm

HI Suhey,

I think you need to watch this one: Fix Your Relationship If You Cheated On Your Ex Boyfriend Before Its Too Late (Video)

Qwa

September 12, 2016 at 1:29 pm

Hi guys! I recently found your website in time of need. My boyfriend and I were together for 3,5 years. When we first met we were friends for a period of 3 years and then, in the final year of college we started dating. In my opinion we had it going more than great – similar interests, similar sense of humor, great sex, etc. We have had some arguments, but nothing serious. In March after another argument he said that he had doubts about wether or not he wants us to countinue being togehter. After a long talk he decided that it was worth it. And then, now, again after a fight he decided to end things. I tried to explain to him that me are rarely good togheter and that we could work out whatever problems there might be. He didn’t want to. His reasons were that after an uncertain poitn in time our relationship became a “habit” and his feelings have faded and he had no bad feelings for me. I have decided to leave him in peice for a certain amount of time, even before reading your articles. My only concern is that we have many common friends and there is a great chance of meeting him at a party or something. Please advise how should I act in such situations and what are the cnances of getting back together in your oppinion. Also, is ti possible for your book to be delivered in every country in the world?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 14, 2016 at 10:44 am

Hi Qwa,

the book will be in pdf form, so it wont be problem as long as you have internet to download it. I think you have a chance, he just got tired of the arguments. So when you see him at a party, just be civil and dont bring up the relationship

Sad

September 12, 2016 at 12:25 am

Hi! Me and my boyfriend of 8 months broke up a couple of nights ago, it’s a tricky situation because he doesn’t want any rules and wants to be with other girls at the moment but stil with me? At first I cried and begged for him back but he just said no, then I sent a message saying he was right and I could do better without him and he told me he still loved me and would leave his new girlfriend for me if I am willing to fix things with him. About 2 weeks ago I moved to Australia and he stayed in New Zealand (the plan was I would get a job and a place and he would move over to live with me). But he changed his mind and wanted to stay where he was. And this is the real reason he left me I think. My family doesn’t like him but I can’t see my future without him, he’s hanging out with another girl but is telling me he’ll leave her for me? I’m so confused, please help

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 13, 2016 at 5:42 pm

HI Sad,

Actually it’s not tricky.. He just knows you love him so much that you would agree with him having another girl in his life. I’m not sure if he knows that unconsciously or consciously but for sure, deep down, he knows he can ask that of you, that’s why he did it.
It’s a matter of standards. What would you allow? And you have to be strong even if it hurts because the right guy will not do that to you.

If I were you, I would walk away but I think, there’s a chance here. You just have to be strong to your values. I can’t assure you that he will be faithful but it’s a battle of will.

He will hold out his other girl as long as he can see that you’re sticking to him, so do no contact.. You have to convey, that’s not in your character to be treated this way. Do 30 days and in this 30 days, if he says, he’s going to leave the other girl, don’t believe it. Unless, he says he already left the other girl for you and he really stick to that decision after a few more days of ignoring him, then you can break nc and talk…

But maintain the new routine you started during nc even after it.. Have your own life..

R

September 11, 2016 at 1:59 pm

Me n my ex brkup aftr 2mnths of releationship..though he hv alrdy a long dstnc gf (fiance).is there any chnce he missed me or wanna cmbck in my life..n what r d bbest possbl way to mk him realised that he done wrong with me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 13, 2016 at 2:49 pm

Hi R,
when did you break up?

Shannon

September 10, 2016 at 10:22 pm

I need help! I’ve been with my guy for a little over four years. I was going to go to law school this year and decided to wait another year. A few months ago he said he didn’t see a future with me, but we continued to hangout at least twice a week and text daily. He was my best friend. I spent the nite with him last Friday (we didn’t have sex) I left for work Saturday and I get online he took another girl to the football game then lied about who she was. The next day he told me he didn’t want to hurt me, but he was prob going to start seeing her. I’m heartbroken. He was my best friend. I have met his family and all of his friends are my friends. Two years ago we did take a break and I dated another guy for a few months. It made me go back to this guy and appreciate what we had a little more. I’m hoping that’s all he needs. In the meantime I’m working on me (mentally and physically) I think we both took our relationship just granited. Is this a cases where he thinks the grass is greener? So I need to just give him time? Or is he really done?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 12, 2016 at 10:52 am

Hi Shannon,

I think you’re friendzoned and you didn’t know it. Read this one: EBR 012: How To Get Out Of The “Friend Zone” With Your Ex Boyfriend

Brianna

September 10, 2016 at 9:22 pm

HI ! I’m 19 years old and my ex boyfriend is 18. I’m his first girlfriend he lost his virginity to me ! recently i had moved down to Florida for college and he was soon to follow to go to college out here 2 months later. when i moved i made a problem of communication because in long distance relationships (although id be seeing him in two months) communication is key.. well long story short me making arguments about communication became a really bad continuation of problems. I recently went down to visit him at his college to spend some time with him since i had a break from school but things went the opposite way then they were suppose to. I told him I was worried that his roommates would influence him to cheat on me or influence him to want to have sex with a lot of girls. He then continued to say he would always be faithful to me but as the conversation went on he said he wanted to break up. His reasoning’s : we fought to much with no solution he was tired of arguing with me when i asked him to give me one more chance to make things right he said he was tired of giving chances and getting no where he said that we need to have our time apart he has alot of stress going on and I do too. At first I swore that it was cause of college but after speaking to a few people and realizing it it really was because I kept arguing about something when my boyfriend is a loyal great man. I know my boyfriend loves me and cares for me a lot still. After the break up I drove 3 hours back home and he texted me saying he hopes I got home safe and not to be mad at him I told him i respect his decision and will let him be and he continued to say he wants me to come to him with any problems i have he doesn’t want me to just leave him out my life. Believe it or not i do feel like i have a very good chance of getting my ex back i just dont know which steps i should take i know if i do it smartly i can get him back. i know he does stalk my social media and instgram because he will ask me about comments under pictures from weeks ago. so im ganna definitely take the approach and change my social media accounts to being much happier , ect. i do also want to do the no contact rule but i feel like if he texts me i would want to answer, should I? or should I let it be and wait for the 30 days of no contact. is there anything else i should do with this proccess cause i know for a fact i can get him back because he truly loves me its just he said he too young to constantly argue in a realtionship and he simply wants to be happy .

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 12, 2016 at 10:42 am

Hi Brianna,

if you’re going to do the no contact rule, that means you can’t answer him if he texts unless it’s an emergency or he says he wants you back.

Beachrose

September 10, 2016 at 3:52 am

1) What if you’ve unfriended them on FB, but they can still see your pictures? Should I open up my prefs to allow more stalking?

2) Also, he has a psych problem, and is kind of a jerk. That is: he sort of uses being a jerk to help cover up his ADHD screw ups. I know that being known as a jerk bothers him. He started seeing a counselor, but his problems are really technical (see below.) Figured all this out a couple of years ago, but he only admitted his ADHD status & a**holery in all this when we finally broke up (mutual.) He has apologized. He says he wants to “get better and come back” – but he also says lots of things I can’t believe – I need to see the actions/ proof.

Background:
We were together 6 years – and lived together for most of it since he asked me to marry him – then he flip flopped on that numerous times. Every time I’d tell him he couldn’t live with me as “just a boyfriend,” he’d insist he really wanted to get married, finalized an old divorce, that he’d see a counselor, etc. He finalized the divorce, but never got the ring, even though the design was finalized, and he made a deposit.

He’s a middle-aged guy, and not fully treated for ADHD. He knows he has it, but people with ADHD have trouble initiating/ prioritizing/ following through – so who knows if/when he’ll get properly/fully: treated/ medicated/ counseled, etc.

He wants to “keep me in his life”, but I think just as a friend/ emotional crutch, which I’m really not interested in. He loved how I took care of him (I’m very smart and caring – not co-dependent tho), but it was often one-sided: Untreated ADHD’ers typically get their S/O to act more like a parent than a lover. They can also have anger, communication, and other problems, seeming bi-polar, and lying to cover up their screw-ups and impulsive choices. He was definitely all that, too.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 12, 2016 at 7:05 am

HI Beachrose,

That’s your home and he decided to move out, so the decision on what keeps to be displayed, who goes and in and out should be yours. If he doesn’t want to get his things, so be it. Leave it at the front yard for him to easily pick up whenever he’s ready. Have your own decision and be strong with it, because the more you allow him to do what he wants in your life and in your home, the more you look like you rely on him.

He has to feel and realize that you’ve really had enough and he has to respect your home. About your social media posts, yes make them public.

D

September 8, 2016 at 10:47 pm

I’m not sure how to delete my comment? I shouldn’t have posted it, thank you for any advice on how to get it removed?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 10, 2016 at 9:10 am

HI D,

I’ll delete it now.

Michelle

September 8, 2016 at 7:50 pm

Hello! My fiance and I were together for 7 years and he broke up with me a month ago because I emotionally neglected him. Well, actually broke up 3 months ago but had to live together for 2 months then I moved out a month ago. There were other small problems but the emotional neglect was the biggest issue. I focused more on other things like my daugher, animals, etc instead of him. Therefore, he said he was unhappy and didn’t see it changing so wanted to break up after 7 years together. I also use to joke and say we were going to get married when my daughter turned 18 because I received too much it taxes and this upset him which I NEVER knew. He doesn’t know how to communicate well at all. He says that he doesn’t want to do this because has to do it to make himself happy. Any suggestions on what to do because I truly do love him even though he doesn’t think I do. Thanks for the help. Michelle

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 9, 2016 at 6:39 pm

Hi Michelle,

when did you last talk?

Bake

September 8, 2016 at 6:16 pm

How to do this when we are important partners in the business and we are the best friends to each other?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 9, 2016 at 5:05 pm

Hi Bake,

why did you break up.. I think this one applies to you: EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

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