How To Know If Your Ex Boyfriend Still Loves You

There are many different “signs” that you can look for to know if your ex boyfriend still loves you. This page is going to take an in-depth look at each specific sign and give you an idea on how to proceed if you decide you want your ex boyfriend back. First though, I would be a fool if I didn’t point out that there isn’t an exact science to this. What I mean, is that since we are dealing with a male human being things can be a bit…. unpredictable. So, there may be some rare cases where your ex could exhibit many of the signs below and yet he still might not be interested in you. Don’t worry though, everything that is on this page has been thoroughly researched and is a compilation of many of the best relationship experts advice and findings. While I can’t guarantee anything, I think it is a safe bet to assume that if your ex is doing the things below he is probably interested in you.

Two Things You Have To Do First

things

Before we get down to the nitty gritty on how to determine if your ex still likes you there are two things that I need you to accomplish. The first is relatively simple, the second one… not so much.

  1. I want you to take some time and figure out if you have a legitimate reason for wanting your ex boyfriend back. As a general rule, couples who get back together after a break up tend to have really good reasons for doing so. Oh, and I think it is important to mention that couples who successfully reunite with legitimate reasons last longer! Still confused? Don’t be I actually wrote a huge post that defines what a good reason is and will even give you some examples here.
  2. Secondly, I need you to adopt a No Contact Rule. Experts agree that in order to put yourself in a good position to win back your ex boyfriend you need to cut yourself off from them for at least a month. Make no mistake about it, it will be among the hardest things you have ever done. There will be a constant temptation to call them, email them or text them. Whatever happens make sure you DO NOT DO IT.

Now, I bet you are wondering what any of this has to do with figuring out if your ex boyfriend still misses you, I assure you it is really important.

The Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Still Likes You

he loves me

Ok, no matter who broke up with who, how bad the break up was or how much you think he hates you I can assure you one thing… he is thinking about you. Did you know that 81% of people still think about their exes too much? What’s worse is that nearly 90% of facebook users still look up their ex. So, I think it is safe to assume that you on your exes mind more than you think you are. The real question is, is he thinking positive or negative things about you? At least that is what you are wondering. Obviously, you want your ex to be thinking very positive thoughts when it comes to you as it will make getting him back a lot easier. With that being said, even if your ex thinks you are the antichrist there are certain things you can do to change his mind. Besides, right after a breakup both parties are angry at each other so there isn’t much positive karma going around.

That is where the no contact rule comes in play. I can pretty much guarantee that your ex won’t be having any positive love thoughts about you a few days after your breakup (especially if YOU broke up with him.) By implementing a no contact rule you are doing two things.

  1. First, you are giving him and you time to calm down and get your wits about you.
  2. Secondly, he is going to wonder why you haven’t tried to call or text him to check up (like he thinks you are supposed to do)

Which leads us to our first sign…

Sign 1- If He Calls, Texts or Messages You

texting

We already know that he is thinking about you but if he actually takes the time to text message you or call you then you should feel really good about yourself because he is definitely showing interest. Now, I am not going to sit here and tell you that all your troubles are over and you can run back into his arms and the world will rejoice. Let’s be honest here, just because he text messaged you doesn’t mean that he wants you back but it is definitely a sign pointing in the right direction. If you are staying true to the NC Rule (No Contact Rule) then you greatly increase your chances of having him contact you in some way. The only thing is you can’t contact him back which is explained if you visit the no contact page.

Sign 2- Does He Keep An Eye On You?

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While you are supposed to be avoiding your ex both physically and mentally for 30 days there are certain cases where it is impossible to do so. If you notice that your boyfriend keeps popping up in places that you frequent then this is a definite sign that he still has feelings for you. Now, I do feel it is important to mention that sometimes it can just be a coincidence that they are at the same place that you are. However, I would say  that if you notice them “being around” at least three times then that is a definite pattern.

Sign 3- Do You Get A Reaction?

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As you know, I am pushing the NC rule pretty darn hard. However, I am not naive. I know how relationships work and I know that the majority of women reading this will not be able to hold out for 30 days. So, in the event that you break down one of the best ways you can determine if he still has those deep feelings for you is watching how he reacts when he sees you. This can be a little tricky to determine but I will go ahead and give you some things to watch for.

  • Does his face light up?
  • Does he sneak looks at you when he thinks your not looking?
  • If he talks really fast that is a good sign as well.
  • Looking into your eyes for a long period of time is a good sign too.

Sign 4- Does He Keep In Touch With Friends & Family?

family

Ex boyfriends who are possibly interested in getting back together will keep in touch with your friends or family. This sign especially rings true if you are deep into your no contact. If you aren’t picking up your phone they are going to reach out to friends or family to see how you are. If you want them back then this is a very good sign. Of course, there are some cases where an ex will keep in touch with your family just to annoy you but you can usually tell in those cases.

Sign 5- Touching

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I may lose some man points for this but one of my favorite movies to watch is Hitch (where Will Smith basically plays a love doctor.) There is a scene at the beginning of the movie where he points out that one of the signs that a woman will show, if she is interested in a guy, is touching. Well, the same can be applied to men. If you see your ex and he is maintaining some type of physical contact like touching your arm, hand, knee, leg that is a really good sign.

What To Do After You Have Figured Out He Still Loves You

So, he showed some of the signs above eh? Well, now you have a decision to make. Do you want to try and get him back or do you want to move on? Since this is a website specifically for women who want to get their ex boyfriends back I can tell you that there is so much information on this site for FREE that you will be blown away. However, not all of the information is going to give you 100% of everything you need. It is for that reason that I am highly recommending you to check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO. It is really a true “step by step” method to winning back your ex boyfriends heart. Other than that I hope you enjoy this site and find everything you are looking for.

 

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822 Responses to How To Know If Your Ex Boyfriend Still Loves You
  1. ruth
    January 29, 2015 | 4:08 am

    Hi,i need an advice what to do. i cant say ex bcos we dont have a formal break up. We’re together for more than 2 years and living in 1 house. at first we were so crazy inlove and happy, u will know each other if u stay in 1 roof. To make the story short i got pregnant and its 5 months now. When i talk about his plans etc he told me the important is he loves me but im not satisfied with that. Eversince i wanted us to get married and we talked about that before. Now it changed his decision. He has his reasons. He told me to wait, bcos he is working on a ship after the contract will i know the answer. He is leaving next month and still hoping to propose to me even his he made his decision. he knows that marriage is important to me especially im pregnant now and i am ashamed at the people especially at the church cos im a Christian and he knows that. 1week we dont have communication i control myself not to text him and give him time to think. Please help. Thanks
    Ruth

    • admin
      January 29, 2015 | 3:09 pm

      I wrote an article on pregnancy and what to do. You should check it out.

  2. GIGIBYOUT
    January 28, 2015 | 8:39 pm

    I’m confused! My ex has a new girlfriend, but he still comes around to see our kids every now and then. We are currently living with his mother because I just moved back from down South and she wants us to stay with her so she can help with the kids. Here’s a little bit of why I’m confused..He has a girlfriend but told my aunt that I have nothing to worry about. He told me he isn’t happy but he isn’t unhappy. When he’s around he’s always watching me, he acts like he has something to say to me but doesn’t say anything, he acts like he wants to come back to me and our kids but won’t, I catch his sister and him whispering in private areas of the house, and when I don’t give him the attention he wants he goes out of his way to get it from me…I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong, I’m like in a state of distress. There’s so many mixed signals and he knows that if he came to me today and said I want to work things out, I would say ok lets talk! I’m tired of playing cat and mouse, when I come to him on my own terms trying to see how he feels and all, he says he doesn’t want to be with me right now. I don’t get whats going on, everyone whose around sees this and sees that I’ve changed and improved myself as well. Please help me! I want him back but don’t know what to do at this point.

    • admin
      January 29, 2015 | 2:45 pm

      You are doing the NC rule I am assuming?

      • GIGIBYOUT
        January 29, 2015 | 3:33 pm

        Yes I am doing minimal contact.

  3. Mel
    January 25, 2015 | 11:43 am

    Please can you tell me if I still have a chance with my ex? Our relationship was going well although he was in a bit of trouble with police. I knew from the start as we had met a yr earlier. As the date of bail came closer he wouldn’t answer calls or text. Eventually he replied he needs time and space to sort his head out. That he will be bk and he still loves me, this was a few daysbefore cChristmas. So I gave him space, but rang him Christmas day to say happy Christmas, he declined my call, same new year too. Since then I have text and tried to call, he just ignores me. We have had a brief conversation since and he told me it’s over, because I kept contacting him, but also was really low and said he had tried to take his own life. After that I couldn’t stop worrying about him and I admit gone over board trying to contact him. His bail is extended and he still won’t talk. I contacted him via withheld number several times, once he picked up I froze and couldn’t speak. After several calls he said I know it’s you you just couldn’t leave it could you? Now he’s said it’s over for good. I still didn’t speak. I’m heartbroken because I really do love him. Our relationship was really good before this, he asked me to marry him.He said he was changing his number, we live in diffrent cities, is there any hope?

    • admin
      January 26, 2015 | 3:46 pm

      Of course there is still a chance but it doesn’t guarantee success you know that, right?

      • Mel
        January 26, 2015 | 4:39 pm

        Yes of course. Right now he has changed his number and I’m blocked on Whatsapp, I have just started the no contact, which seems a lot easier than I thought as I have no way of contacting him anyway! Will he contact me again?

        • Mel
          January 26, 2015 | 6:09 pm

          I feel he has made a rash decision based on anger and other situations that surround him as we made plans for the future etc. I feel he loves me, even now. Shall I just give him time? Our relationship was fantastic we really connected on an emotional level and spent hours talking and laughing with each other. We even spent days working together when he had decorating jobs to do. I miss him so much, but I know I can survive without him have done before, from when we first met. Was love at first sight for me, and he said I stole his heart. We got back in contact and decided to give things a go. I really can not understand how someone can go from chatting 3,4 or maybe even 6 times a day to nothing within a few days. I find it very harsh, and do now wonder why? Of course I can’t get answers as I am blocked.

  4. Shaz
    January 23, 2015 | 11:35 pm

    Hi,
    I only just discovered your website. I made the decision to move out after 5 yrs (we both have kids but none together) but this made it a big deal as my kids and I had to move as it was his house. After a couple of weeks out of the house I did the NC for about 3 weeks. His birthday and xmas were on this time and he texted me but I didn’t answer. He tried to ring a few times and then stopped for a week but then sent me another text and said he wishes if talk to him and he still wants to be friends. I had nov choice after 3 weeks to contact as I still has some stuff at his house needing sorting out. So last 2 weeks he has been texting or Emailing about every second day. I have started up two of the text conversation but the rest have been him initiating it. He has admit infer to do doing something wrong by me and holding into guilt for last 2yrs and it felt such a relief for him to finally tell me as this was impacting on us and causing so much strain. I knew something was off and that’s why I’d withdrawn in the relationship while he went from trying to fix it to giving up at times also. We had two very hard years. I asked shim why he never asked me to leave if he felt so bad and he said he never would’ve kicked me out and that he was hoping for a miracle. He said in a text he knows I would never get back with him now after what he’s admitted to but he wants to be friends. he says he thinks about me
    Most nights falling to sleep and a couple of days ago sent me a text saying it’s been over a month since weve seen each other in person. So why doesn’t he ask direct to to see me or try to get me out in a ‘friend date.’??

    • admin
      January 26, 2015 | 2:36 pm

      May I ask why you moved out in the first place?

  5. Jessica
    January 12, 2015 | 7:01 am

    Need some advice,
    My ex and I dated for 2.5 years and we broke up. That was back in 2008. I was still in love with him and we were in and on and off relationship for a long time. Every time he tried to talk to another girl online, when it didn’t work out, he came back to me and we started the relationship again. This went on for more than 5 years. During these times, we would go to lots of trips together and he would buy me lots of stuffs like a pearl necklace set. He would also get jealous if guys checked me out. Four months ago, he told me he is planning to see someone else and we ended our relationship after that. He told me, it happened too fast and he was sorry for the things he did and promised me that he would never do that to me again and really “treasured the 12 years that we been best friends and dating”. He said he would want to make it up to me. I was still angry at him and told him to give me some space and do not text me until I told him to. For the past three months I had no contact with him. He also didn’t contact me during the 3 months of NC. After the NC was over, I was invited to a Christmas gathering with some mutual friends of ours. I went and I saw him there. However, we both didn’t talk to each other I was not able to make the move to talk to him because I was shy and did not know what to say to him. During the dinner, he mentioned to all of us that he is still seeing the girl.
    Later on that night, we went to our friend’s house. I gave everyone a Christmas card, including him. That night I had to leave early, so before I left, everyone stood up and gave me a hug except him. He just sat there with his hands in his pockets and said “Merry Christmas” and did not acknowledge me when I said “bye everyone”. I was hurt by his behaviour and wondered why I spent 12 years in being friends and even date and love this guy. I found out from a mutual friend that my ex was not feeling well that day. On Christmas Eve, I sent him a message and wished him “Merry Christmas” and saying that I forgive him for the things that he has done and also apologized for the things that I have done and need some more space so I can move on from the past before we can be friends again. He never replied to that message.
    My question is I do miss him as a friend and would like to ask him to meet up to see how he is doing and listen to his side of the story about this whole thing before I make my conclusion of not seeing him ever again. Because He was always there for me when I needed someone there for me.
    And is this a rebound.. they are still dating after 4 months and he started things with her before he ended with me, and he also apologized to me before about 4 months ago and said it happened so fast..

  6. magdeline
    January 8, 2015 | 10:31 am

    Hi Chris my ex boyfriend broke up with me because his fiancee found out about us I ddnt know he was engage and he got engage while dating me he told me I destroyed his life because I confessed to his women. We have been staying together for a year I tried to beg him to take me back bt he refused saying you and I we will never be together he blocked me on whatsapp and unblocked me saying we can be friends and told me to move on with my life worst part is I still love him a lot despite wat happened m thinking of going to his place and talk to him and m the last person he want to see what xld I do I love him m willing to do anything

    • admin
      January 19, 2015 | 3:10 pm

      Whoa, why would you want him back?????

      I mean, you were the other woman to him.

      • magdeline
        January 20, 2015 | 6:58 am

        Because I love him and its hard for me to deal with the break up pls help me get him back and being another women to does it mean he was plying me but we stayed together for a year

        • Dylan
          January 24, 2015 | 1:05 am

          If you would be a guys second choice, you shouldn’t make them your first

  7. Raquel
    January 7, 2015 | 3:03 am

    Hi Chris.
    I’ve had an on and off boyfriend for the last 2 years. Normally our breakups are a cause of stupid things he does, but he always comes back. The longest time we’ve completely broken up was for 3 months or so. Before our breakup everything seemed to be perfect, he was sweet, romantic, caring, and loved to talk to me at all times. We had recently split due to the fact that he drank a lot and went out a lot, I didn’t have a problem with that but it was getting out of hand up to the point I genuinely worried for him. He came back to ask for my forgiveness and another chance, he promised to change and stop his drinking, not because I told him to but because he realised it was taking him along the wrong path. So eventually I let him in again and everything was going perfect, I felt really good and happy. On december, he stopped talking as he used to, he slept earlier and we rarely spent quality time together, he was also not as romantic as before. I mentioned my concern to him which he quickly brushed off as “being more busy or tired” and said he’d try his best to spend time with me. I gave him more time but nothing changed, I repeatedly told him things like “talk to me” or “You’re acting weird”. Not long after I decided to break up with him because I didn’t see the relationship going anywhere. I started by telling him I wasn’t sure as to stay together or not and told him why. He said he completely understood but he didn’t notice he changed. I know he loves(loved?) me and he repeated that multiple times. He also said he did feel things were different. I then proceeded to tell him this was the last time we tried to be together again because we’ve tried a MILLION of times to be together and it just doesn’t work out. I told him it wasn’t fair for me to keep waiting for him to decide he wants to be with him just so that he leaves or changes when he wants, I told him it was a cycle. He said he knows it isn’t fair for me and he won’t hurt me again. Two days after, he texted me so that I helped him with a project, I briefly explained and helped him until he fell asleep and texted the next day saying that, I didn’t answer. On christmas, I texted him wishing him and his family a merry christmas. At first he seemed uninterested but then started to ask about my cousins and what did I get for christmas. I haven’t talked to him since then and the last thing I know is he told a friend of ours he still loves me but things just won’t work out he asked him who broke up with whom and he responded he didn’t even know. I re-read some of our old conversations from november and started to miss him like crazy, in those conversations he really did show he loved me and care for me, and we talked non stop. I just don’t know what went wrong and wish he was still with me. That lead me to think I shouldn’t have broken up with him just yet but things just weren’t the same. My friends tell me it’s him who should come back but I don’t know if he ever will. I want to know what’s going on in his mind and if he things it’s my fault or loss because I initiated the break up. I know he is talking to more girls than he did before and takes a lot of pictures with them so I guess it’s to make me jealous. I really don’t know what to do to make him want to come back!

  8. Andrea
    January 6, 2015 | 8:38 pm

    hey there i dumped my ex bf bc i was always seeing comments on other girls pages and we were always getting into fights bc of me and my jealousy then 2 or the next day he got a new gf but he telling me that he still likes me thats what he told my friend but the thing is that my friend also likes him .
    my ex supposly likes me but when i dumped him he told me ight w.e then 13 minutes later he said y exactly tho i said seriously you aren’t gonna fight for our love he said its just a dam girl there are a lot of girls out there i told him him your fucked up .. n he said well gn ttyt idk if i love him but i think he wants me back

    • admin
      January 19, 2015 | 2:51 pm

      The question is do you want him back?

  9. set
    January 6, 2015 | 3:58 am

    hi i am 24 yr old , married already for more than 2 years… but i was wondering about my exboyfriend (we’ve been in a relationship for almost 1 year) when he sent a friend request on facebook, i accepted it,unfortunately after that he posted his own picture on my profile, he also liked some of my picture there, and leave a comment, saying “wow , nice huh,, u’r looking cute … he also changed his profile immediately a picture of him together with his girlfriend… i don’t know if he is only disturbing/kidding me or he still likes me… hope u can answer this question :)

    • admin
      January 6, 2015 | 2:04 pm

      Whoa… you are married and have been dating someone else for a year?

      I am confused. Did I read that correctly?

  10. Julie
    January 5, 2015 | 4:50 pm

    Really confused, please help.. So me and my ex was together for 3 years, just recently broke up haven’t spoken to him in almost a month.. I kicked him out due to many things, not feeling appreciated, loved he stopped doing the things he did to get me.. Anyway after a week of us not being together I found out he was back with his ex, so I’m trying to move on but just yesterday out of the blue he text me I text back I was busy and couldn’t help him out at the moment.. It killed me to lie to him I love him so and want him back.. So my question is could I get him back even thou he’s with his ex now?? How if its possible?

    • admin
      January 6, 2015 | 1:53 pm

      Well, NC is what I recommend to everyone starting out.

      How did you find out he went to his ex?

  11. mariz
    December 30, 2014 | 1:21 am

    Hi. My boyfriend and i have been for 3 months. We are in a long distance relationship. We were lovers without seeing each other. We fell in love vial texts, calls, and chats. A friend of mine gave my number to him who happen to be my friend’s friend too. When we were, i always made the fight and always asked him for breakup but he always didn’t agree. One day, he told me he’s pretty losing his affection due to non-stop fights. That time i decided to breakup with him thinking i can but unfortunately i can’t. I really can’t. a day without communication with him is so hell so i decided to go back to him. But this time, he refused and asked me to give him more time to think. Thinking him losing his feeling with me is killing me. So i decided to insist myself and ask for a second chance to be better. He agreed but he told me i may be hurt again. I did all my best to win his heart again and he acted the way before but can’t hide the feeling of being cold. One day, i asked him on how can i fix things, how can i bring things back again but he told me to don’t because it’s just a waste of time. That statement pushed me for breakup again. I know it was just a 3 day getting back together but i found out losing any hope to fix things right. I did it at night and talk to him in the best way i can. At first he’s asking me why?? Asking what am i planning to do?? Then i told i’m letting him go. Am freeing him. He got upset and ask me why do i have to do this to him. Why am i asking him to look for another. He ask me things like did i found someone else then i told him of course not. Things are in favor of him to think. Early in the dawn at 3am he texted me that because i left him again and hurt him again, he doesn’t love me anymore. That he doesn’t need to think because everything is over and all we have to do us to move on. it happened 2 days ago and i’m now following the no contact rule. I don’t want to expect to get back together because he’s the one who ended it up. My question is.. does he still care?? Does he miss me too cause i’m missing so much. Is it possible for us to get together again?? need your opinion.

    • admin
      January 5, 2015 | 2:39 pm

      Question, have you ever met him in person yet?

  12. Sara
    December 7, 2014 | 7:23 pm

    Hello Chris ,

    After No Contact , as i said on your other post on ” how to make him regret leaving you …. ” , i sent him a picture message with a text in Italian ( the language he love and knows sort of) ….As i much as i though he won’t reply , her replied back in 10 minutes , and said “Good Job :)” to my improvement in Italian. And i thanked him, the text ended there.

    So do you think that this is a good sign ?
    I really like to know your opinion … And what to do next !

    Thank you

    PS: I am not sure if he’s dating anyone right now.

    • admin
      December 8, 2014 | 12:48 pm

      Neutral/good in my opinion.

      • Sara
        December 8, 2014 | 5:48 pm

        So, is it possible in any way to suggest me what to do next ?

        Thank you

  13. Melissa
    December 2, 2014 | 7:46 pm

    Well, my ex and I dated for 4 years. Broke up a few months ago. Since then he’s emailed me constantly, I changed my number after we broke up due to not wanting any contact. I deleted over a hundred emails, and just recently started talking with him again via email. I just wanted him to calm down before we began speaking again. Now we go to movies or out for a brew every so often. I’m confused. I am still kinda in love with him and am pushing my true feelings for him aside because I don’t want us to end up the way we were in the past toward one another. I guess I’m trying to force myself to move on even though I still love him. Life of love is so damn confusing :/

    • admin
      December 3, 2014 | 4:53 pm

      Hmm…

      I think you need to figure out what you want.

      I think it comes down to one simple question.

      Do you see a happy future with him?

  14. Kay
    December 1, 2014 | 7:27 pm

    My ex an I split up. The split up was a mutual decision. We have been arguing an awful lot lately and we had a physical altercation. We both were to blame he would often call me names and I allowed it, I would normally bite my tongue until the day that I slapped him and he pushed back multiple times. We have 2 children together, thankfully they were both asleep when the physical part happened. We didn’t speak for the first week then I messaged him via facebook and he read my messages but would not reply so I called him to arrange access with our children. I didn’t bring up us just focused on the children, he got very mad hung up and called me names so I let him cool down for a couple of days and then called him back in hopes of setting a firm schedule for access. I asked that he get a third party to do pick ups/drop offs and he said he couldn’t arrange that and then went on to say how I’m the most amazing woman he has ever met and how he will probably never meet anyone like me again and he is sorry I feel he isn’t ‘the one’ for him. He thinks I’m seeing other men even though I haven’t indicated that, he is just suspicious because I added an old guy friend to my facebook. He said he can’t stand the thought of me with another man and said I should just delete him so he doesn’t have to hurt anymore. He said that he will always love me but we are done for good. I don’t want us to be done I would like some time to work on myself though. We were best friends even though around the end we fought like cats and dogs. We had both talked about marriage and had set future goals together. I still feel like he is the love of my life but we need to work on ourselves now. Any suggestions?

    • admin
      December 2, 2014 | 2:46 pm

      Physical alteration.

      Who hit who?

      • Kay
        December 3, 2014 | 3:09 am

        He shoved once I slapped once

        • admin
          December 3, 2014 | 4:34 pm

          Hmm… Definitely not good from either party.

          How long ago was this incident?

          • Kay
            December 5, 2014 | 4:50 pm

            About a month ago

  15. Jordan
    October 31, 2014 | 12:57 am

    Hi really looking for some advice ASAP. So long story short, my ex & I have been friends for 10 years, we always had a thing for each other but neither one of us knew & being in other relationships stopped us from being together. She moved away to another state for a a few years & we stayed in contact. Well about 2 years ago she was single & I was single & we just started talking one night & basically found out that we both wanted the same thing out of a relationship. It was instant that we fell in love. W called each other soul mates. She moved back to the state that I & her family live in for me because she wanted to be with me. Everything was perfect, literally. We had an amazing chemistry, our love was strong, we had respect for each other. People would always say that they wanted what we had. It literally was like a dream come true for the both of us. Then one day after 11 months she said she didn’t love me anymore & was done. No signs or nothing leading up to this, just bam, I was hit with this. She immediately moved out and went to go live with her parents. I did the no contact rule for months. She would text me here & there with stupid stuff like “I miss your foot massages” or “I miss the things we used to cook in the fall”…anyways, for the most part that was it, she never said she missed me or anything even though I missed her like crazy. She still knew how I felt about her. Well after a whole year, she asked me if I would do a favor for her mom which I agreed, her mom loves me. It was the first time we saw each other in months. The whole time she flirted with me, she brought up memories, she asked for a foot massage & I gave her one & I kept seeing her give me the looks she used to give me when we were in love. She took her cold feet after the massage & put them in my shirt to keep them warm…when we were leaving she stopped me & said “give me a hug” so I did. She held me, like the old times. She pressed her neck against my lips & I just wanted to kiss her but I didn’t want to cross that line. I feel like she felt something that night, that chemistry that we had. Anyways, I thought about it all the way home, how much I still love her & want to be with her. The problem is, she’s moving out of state again in another month. I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again. So, I wrote her this letter basically saying that I’m proud of her & that I’m not asking her to stay but to go on & achieve her dreams. In the letter I brought up the other night about how I saw the look in her eyes & asked her if she felt something, things like that, my question is, what is this? Does she still love me? Should I give her the letter? Please help me figure this out. Thank you for your time.

    • admin
      November 3, 2014 | 3:56 pm

      Have you seen my other website, Ex Girlfriend Recovery?

  16. Alex
    October 30, 2014 | 7:06 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago, because he’s a Baptist and I’m a Catholic and his family wouldn’t approve. He has issues standing up for himself, so I’m trying not to take it so personally. We had an awesome, awesome relationship. We were friends for a year first and then dated quite seriously for about 6 months. He never introduced me to his family because he knew how they would feel, even though he didn’t feel that way about our religious differences and even went to church with me. So, the problem is, 1. I still have that stupid female hope and desire to get back with him, and 2. I see him pretty much every morning, 6 days a week, at the gym. He started coming to the crossfit I go to. I’ve tried to remain quite civil and mature (I’m 37, he’s 27, so there’s that young fear in him which I just don’t have anymore). We don’t really talk much at all at the gym, and not at all in any way outside of the gym. He returned some stuff of mine today and asked for some papers back that he left at my house. What am I suppose to do? Can I be nice to him at all at the gym? I want him to get back with me.

    • Alex
      October 30, 2014 | 7:09 pm

      Oh, I forgot to say, a few days after we broke up, I wrote him a civil, non desperate sounding email explaining why I thought we should try and overcome his fear of other people’s opinions. We went back and forth for like two emails each, where he ended up telling me he was sticking to his decision but that I was welcome to attend his church or speak to his family. I answered that anything else we had to say to each other could be done in person, and then I never tried to confront him about anything. That was over a week ago and I’ve seen him several times since.

    • admin
      November 3, 2014 | 3:19 pm

      Do you think his family didn’t approve because of the religion or the age difference?

      • Alex
        November 3, 2014 | 4:42 pm

        Could be either or, but he said his father only said something about the religion (his dad is a born again Baptist). Although he did send an email saying he should wait for a “young lady,” so maybe he was passive aggressively saying something about my age. I never met his parents though, at all. Well, they don’t live near where we live..

  17. Claire
    October 28, 2014 | 9:26 pm

    Hi Chris,

    My boyfriend and me broke up a few months ago after almost four years of relationship. He suddenly saw no future in our relationship and I got tired of his attitude so we broke up. We have been meeting as friends since then (after applying the NC rule) and he shows all the signs of still being in love but he told me the other day (before we had an affair) that he was not thinking in getting back together although he likes to spend time with me and saying he loves me much. I am confused as he shows signs of interest (he always finds a way of contacting/seeing me if he doesn´t have news from me, he still has things in my house, he is always up to meet up with me) and disinterest at the same time . Should I try to get him back or forget about him?

    • admin
      October 29, 2014 | 2:42 pm

      He suddenly saw no future? Were there any warning signs.

      • Claire
        October 29, 2014 | 6:15 pm

        Nothing at all. One day he mentioned something about our future together and suddenly he saw no future (after having asked for kids, commitment etc before). That is why I was confused and I am still wondering what happened. It came out from no-where

        • admin
          October 30, 2014 | 6:17 pm

          Yes, any number of reasons can cause this. He may have not be ready for the deeper commitment. He may be coping with his past or your past. Its clear you don’t have all the information from him yet.

          • Claire
            October 30, 2014 | 9:21 pm

            When he asked for kids I always thought he was not ready but what pisses me off is that I am not able to get any answers from him. I have the feeling that he is upset with me and I do not find the reason. How can I find all the information from him? I have tried, talked to him many times and he never tells me anything

  18. amazonkitty
    October 28, 2014 | 3:26 am

    i’ve been with my boyfriend for three years now we recently had the worst break up i broke all his belonging tv and all , bleached his clothes and destroyed his glass table , than when we ran into each other in public i attacked him all because i was jealous of him being friends with another female , but i was the one that broke up with him because he didn’t answer my text or calls for 6 hrs i believe him and her where having sex but we have a son together we stayed away from each other for a month but i was sending him crazy messages he never replied but saw them , not only that i was in my emotions yesterday and messaged him on fb and than went to his house where he said he wants to be together and that he still loves me but i feel so bad if he wasn’t doing anything with this girl and i did all this and i don’t know what to do anymore

    • admin
      October 28, 2014 | 6:03 pm

      Well, you kind of went a little overboard by breaking all of his things…

      I am worried you might be painted in the crazy ex gf light.

  19. Miranda
    October 27, 2014 | 5:34 pm

    I think my ex still loves me. He texts me once in a while. But im still confused if he still loves me

    • admin
      October 28, 2014 | 4:22 pm

      Ok, you might have to give me more than that Miranda.

  20. Sylvie
    October 15, 2014 | 4:25 am

    I haven’t had any contact with my ex for 5 years and I deleted my Facebook account one year ago. My ex just sent a message to my sister (who he has only met once briefly) saying he had lost contact with me and asking her to pass his phone number on to me and to let me know he was thinking of me. She said she would but that the best way to contact me was my email and gave him my email address. Should I respond to his phone number by text or calling, or wait to see if he emails me. The no contact rule has definitely been followed!

    • admin
      October 27, 2014 | 2:38 pm

      5 years!!! I would wait for an email.

  21. jordyn
    October 9, 2014 | 5:55 pm

    So im confused on a couple things going on with my ex, it seems he still has feelings for me but then seems like he just wants to be friends. We broke up in march, he cheated on me with his ex and was dating her after he and I spilt. I did the no contact rule and it worked. He texted me every so often to “check up on me” and I didnt reply. A week after the no contact rule was finished he messaged me again. Overall he told me he was sorry about everything and never meant to hurt me. But I accepted that and he aaked if we can still be friends. I told him I couldnt right now, becuase my feelings for him were still there, he seemed to happy to hear that and told me he doesnt want me to lose my feelings. I knew I had to though. So ever since that talk he comes around my work once or twice every so often and when we talk in person he manages to touch me alot whether its a punch on the shoulder or touch on the back or chin or even my hair. But he proceeded to tell me he and his gf broke up over small things. I told him im sorry to hear that. And he started asking me if im dating someone. I told him i was dating my ex and that we got back together several months ago. He dropped his happiness and kept everything simple after that. And now hes texting me more asking about how things between me and my boyfriend are doing and when I answer good he stops texting til next time. Which usually lasts for a week. He came back to my store a couple weeks ago saying he wanted to buy liquid cig. And when I saw him I noticed a huge hickey on his neck and asked him if he got back with his ex, he said no. And that he didnt want to talk about it. So I let it go and we went our seperate ways. But now he texts me differently. He wont ask about my bf and I, but he will ask me about everything im doing but when i ask him what hes been doing I wont hear back til a week later. Same start same end. So im confused on what he wants pretty much

    • admin
      October 13, 2014 | 3:08 pm

      Why don’t you attempt the no contact rule?

  22. lucy
    October 6, 2014 | 5:35 pm

    Hey there. Just wanted your opinion.

    My ex and I were seeing one another for around four months. Three weeks ago he ended it. I don’t understand his reasons, I think he was basically saying that he needs to be alone as he isn’t feeling well in his mind. I accepted his desicion. What else could I do and told him if that’s what he wanted then I’d leave him to get on with it. He text me the very next day to say sorry and hes texted me reguarly since. Sometimes we talk by text all day like we used to. He is usually the one to make contact not me. He sometimes calls me by the pet name he did when we were together. He still uses certain words when we text which were ‘our word’s. I havent asked him back. I haven’t brought it up. The question I have is do you think he’s still interested?

    • admin
      October 7, 2014 | 1:37 pm

      The pet names…. do you know if he uses them for everyone or if they are just dedicated to you?

      • lucy
        October 7, 2014 | 2:05 pm

        He kind of made it up for me

  23. Jason
    September 5, 2014 | 11:28 pm

    So I broke up with my exboyfriend last year, I told him I wanted to be friends, that’s all I could offer, he was so in love with me that he agreed, he had to leave the city for 2 months, work related, he met a guy, they were together for a month, that was it, so he came back and we started to be friends again, no more drama, no more fighting, it was like the time when we first me, i felt in love again, but it turns out it was too late, he met a new person, older guy, now he is very much into him, I explained that I wanted him back in my life, beg for a second change, he said, All I can offer is a friendship, I said ok, lets be friends, So I became his best friend, and I was there for him everytime this new guy broke his heart, we decided to go on a trip together, and he ended up kissing another guy, that was it, I don’t know what we had, he is moving on and I am not! he still has contact with my family and he called one of my friends to go out party this weekend, Is this healthy? I have been trying the no contact rule for 5 days, I want to call him and be ok about it, I just want to feel free! I hate not calling him, but I also hate being there and watch how he is moving on with his life.

    • admin
      September 15, 2014 | 2:40 pm

      He cheated on you?

      Can I ask if youll ever be able to get past that?

  24. Casey percle
    September 4, 2014 | 5:35 pm

    Hello I’ve been with my boyfriend/ex for 7 months. When we got together he was going through a divorce. Once she found out about me she changed her time but he stayed with me. I was there for him through it all while he lost everything. I was all he had but his kids and grand kids were in another state so as time went on he missed them misrebly. His ex wife made it almost impossible to be with me and have a relationship with his kids also. He says he loves me and knows it will never work with her and didn’t want to lose me. He went home to visit the kids and said he was only going for 3 days. He reassured me he was comeing back and loves me. Well he didn’t come back. He cut off all contact for 5 days before he even called. When he did he said he loves me and knows I love him but he has to stay longer for his kids. That he didn’t go there with the intention to stay. He said he’s got to try for his kids I asked why he hadn’t even called he said bc he couldn’t. He was very upset and we were both crying. Since then I haven’t heard from him. They blocked me from any ways of communication. His ex wife didn’t block me from her facebook so I see they are together. How can he just go on and not care at all? Does he think of me? Miss me? Did he ever love me at all? I know in my heart he did….

    • admin
      September 5, 2014 | 12:18 pm

      Man this is heartbreaking…

      I think the ex wife tempted him… Kids, grandkids.

      I think he had legitimate feelings but I also think he probably has feelings for his ex too.

  25. TMM
    July 22, 2014 | 4:27 pm

    I study abroad so we had a long distance relationship for a year then a week before I came back to my country we broke up because of me. I thought I didnt love him anymore so I acted so stupid. As soon as I got back to my country I knew that I was so stupid but he clearly showed that he not interested in me anymore. He started to seek for another girl. Half a month later,we talk again, we started texting frequently, we hang out 3 times and we still make out. He hugged me today he said he is sorry that he made me said, I told him it was totally my fault. I hate that he keeps repeat that we are like bro and sister. When we talked he talked about some other girls, I just keep silent and looking away then he noticed and asked what i was thinking. I want to get him back in my life so bad. I know he doesnt want to be in a long distance relationship anymore and i am leaving in 50 days. What can I do now?

    • admin
      July 24, 2014 | 2:02 pm

      What caused you to think you didn’t love him anymore?

  26. Lolita
    July 21, 2014 | 8:41 pm

    Hey ya

    So bacisally I deleted my FB and changed numbers, so it is impossible for him to reach ME directly. after 10 days NC He did write me a handwritten letter but again was blaming me, but did let me know i could always call him and he would always answer me and he is hurt (he dumped me for another but is blaming me by lying) he tried to make me indirectly contact him through my mom and tried calling on Skype the same day. I’ve been in NC. Today he sends my mom a text reminding her of MY doctor’s appointement because he used to drive me. Is that all good sign because it’s only been 2 weeks of NC, I don’t understand him.

    • admin
      July 22, 2014 | 2:27 pm

      I wish you wouldn’t have deleted your facebook.

  27. Giannah
    July 13, 2014 | 10:21 am

    Hello , My Name Gigi and I Was With My Ex For 4 Months and I broke up with him close around the 4 of July So This Is Recently and He Lives Down The Street From Me But When He’s Walking Be Himself I’ll Look At Me 2 Times Then Just Keep Walk & When He’s With People He Try Not To Look at Me But I Wanted To Try To Be Honest And Tell Him How I Feel But If He’s Trying To Ignore Me I don’t Know How’s That’s Gonna work Because if I try To Talk to Him And He Still Ignore Me & Keeps Walking Then I Don’t Know But Me And His Older Brother Don’t Get Along So I Think He Told Me Ex Not To Talk To Me & He Listens But I Think He Shouldn’t But After we Broke Up We Hugged & Kissed Then The Next Day Is Wen He Start ignoring me But I Wanna Know Do You Think He’s Still Thinking Of me or Still likes me?

    Please Help?

    • admin
      July 14, 2014 | 3:08 pm

      I am sure there are feelings in there somewhere.

  28. Andy M
    July 9, 2014 | 8:12 pm

    Hi, short story I was away working in another country for 4 months and i had an affair. He broke up with me recentlym though he found out like 1 year ago. He says he is dissapointed, angry and no longer wants ti be with me. He started going out with girls and hooking up with several ones. However if I call, he answers; if i text, he writes back; he would even call me for some random stuff. He has refused to give me my stuff back and even offered to help me with some stuff.

    I live in a different city now. I flew to see him to tell him the truth, “all of it!” He seemed in shocked, we talked, he said he was hurt. I told him I am sorry, he thinks I am only sorry because he caught me. I’ve been giving thought to everything and I regret so much my past action. I told him to look me in the eyes, so he could see how sorry I was, he kissed me and we spend a wonderful weekend. I left and 2 days later it was hell again. I’m not expecting for forgivness, I just want an opportunity to work things out.

    After that, he went on a date with a girl,I got super jealous and he said we shouls stop talking beacuse he feels bad I’m sad. I stopped calling him and then he starts calling for random stuff (he could text, we didn’t have to talk). I told him I had to go to the city for a checkup. He ignored me. Then he would call me and make comments about thusrday (day I’ll be arriving in town) and stuff we could do. Other day he would be angry as hell and hate my guts and say he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore.

    I told him I knew i made a mistake (HUGE ONE), i went lookig for him to be honest (for a change) and that I was willing to fight for our relationship. He said it was a waste of time, that he felt fine “hooking up with other girls”, that going back together had no purpose.

    I told him I was here because he lets me be here, i said i was not calling him back, that i was arriving on thursday and that he better be home. Next day he called and asked what time i was arriving to pick me up at the airport.

    My drama is so confusing…I dont know what to do. NC RULE?

    • Andy M
      July 9, 2014 | 9:13 pm

      One more thing, during the weekend i went to see him, he took me to family lunches and behaved really sweet.

    • admin
      July 10, 2014 | 2:24 pm

      I don’t think he ever got over the affair…

      Yes NC.

  29. miranda padilla
    July 8, 2014 | 11:25 pm

    my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 yearsfrom our very first date it was so easy to be myself around him I what down all my walls completely and I knew I loved him that night we dated for 2 weeks before we made it official boyfriend and girlfriend he told me he love me only 5 days into a relationship. We love you too other so much at that time we are living with her parents and we would see you job there every single night it got to the point where in a relationship we never spent more than a week apart then I you’re in a half into it we decided to get an apartment together because he got kicked out of his dads house for reasons that is dad was just a bad person and his mom was moving out of her current house and into a smaller condo so we thought it would be okay to me live together and it was going well until I lost my job in november and I couldn’t keep a good job down and I lost my car and I was so negative all the time and I was finding every way to just be mad at him and not of this was his fault I was such a bad person that he got to the point where’s he didn’t want to do this anymore and we almost broke up I asked for another chance and he said okay and from that point on I did everything I could show him how much I appreciate him because I always took him for granted I never thought he would leave me because that’s how nice of a guy he was.are we use words ending in 4 months and I thought we were at a point where we could start looking for a house so we did and we found 1 and today I was supposed to put a deposit down on the house he told me when the lease was up for our apartment that you was going to move back in with his mom I didn’t argue with him because I knew that would be the best for him and I was going to be okay with it but then he said he didn’t know what he wants after we moved out ford sample he didn’t know is he wanted to continue dating me or not. Then it came out that he doesn’t want to date me anymore that we would be happier apart and I told him how much I love him and I absolutely no it won’t be true guys won’t be happier without himI don’t know what he is so afraid of but he is set on leaving and sticking with the breakup I don’t know what to do I’ve never felt this feeling with anyone else if someone has any opinions on what I could do that would be helpful because I am an emotional wreck right now

    • admin
      July 9, 2014 | 2:21 pm

      I would recommend the no contact rule for you right now.

      • miranda padilla
        July 9, 2014 | 8:14 pm

        Wow. Sorry I didn’t realize how misstyped that came out.
        once i move out i will do that no contact thing. And i have hope that he’ll miss me after that.
        But i don’t understand how we are so great together and we barley argue how he can just let go so easily. That hurts the most. I have no hate toward him cause i want him to be happy. But i hurt so bad cause he can just let go. Do you have any opinions as to what he could be thinking with doing this? (Mind you I’ve known him since freshman year of high school, he’s always been a quiet person always to himself. So i know he’s not gonna go looking for someone else. Him and i are both the same in that aspect)
        I just wanna understand cause he won’t help me understand.

  30. tori
    July 8, 2014 | 4:32 pm

    So, my ex and I have a baby together. He’s had a gf for a few months who apparently lives with him now. I am not comfortable leaving our son with him because I do not know this woman, what I do know is not flattering and she does not even have her own kids…and for some reason he thinks it’s ok for us to all hang out when he sees his son. He’ll invite us over or to outings with her there…it’s weird and very uncomfortable. My question is, am I better off sucking it up and continuing to act as if it’s cool and just hang with them and be polite or should I tell him it makes me uncomfortable?

    • admin
      July 9, 2014 | 2:14 pm

      Your ex is an idiot… Very insensitive to your concerns.

      There is a child involved here so your child trumps everything.

  31. admin
    July 3, 2014 | 1:07 am

    Are you fully divorced or just seperated at this time?

    • admin
      July 7, 2014 | 5:20 pm

      I see, but now he has a new girlfriend?

      • admin
        July 8, 2014 | 2:24 pm

        Sounds like hes going through some weird mid life crisis huh?

    • admin
      July 7, 2014 | 5:21 pm

      May I ask the age of the new girlfriend? Do you know? Tell me about her.

    • admin
      July 7, 2014 | 5:27 pm

      Or they can implode… Wait until they have their first fight and see how they handle adversity.

      Most couples can’t communicate properly and its all downhill from there.

  32. Amanda
    June 19, 2014 | 12:18 am

    My boyfriend broke up with kme because I was basically an emotional wreck. I was jealous, clingy, judgemental, mean, insecure, had no self esteem, no confidence, shy and I found it difficult to trust him. He didn’t doa nything; was just me because I let my emotions control me. When he decided to break up with me, I took a 2 week trip to visit family and friends. I’m ashamed to admit this but during my trip, we fought over the phone and also through Facebook messages. I regret that and if I had known about NC then, I would’ve started right after the break up. Anyway, it’s been over a month now since I last saw him. There have been times I tried to apologize for what happened, told him I was working on self improvement but he didn’t want to believe me. He wants.to believe that I haven’t changed. I’m currently on day 4, almost on day 5 of NC. I’m really skeptical at this point because I’ve been with him for almost 5 years and when he said it was over, I lost all hope. I still think about him everyday. Now, I do believe I can go the full 30 days without contact. “So far, so good.” I think. I still have a long way to go though. I bought your system and I feel emotionally stable. The only thing that worries me if my ex leaving me for good but I can’t bring myself to believe that. This is the most difficult thing I’ve never done but I have faith that I fan do this. I’ve never been in a heartbreaking situation like this before. I’ve never loved this deep before and I’ve never known true love till I met my ex. He’s THE ONE for me, I just know it. I just have to have faith that he’ll come back. I can’t afford to quit. Gollowing your guidance has really opened my eyes. Thanks! :) I’ll update you on my progress. Oh and we had an honest, healthy, loving, passionate, caring relationship. We supported each other, loved each other deeply and cared for each other A LOT. We also were very honest witt each other. I miss him every single dat.

    • admin
      June 20, 2014 | 7:36 pm

      Well, I am glad you at least notice you have some flaws (we all have flaws don’t beat yourself up.)

      Why do you think you were clingy and insecure though?

  33. Meagan
    June 18, 2014 | 10:08 pm

    Hello.
    A year ago my ex left me and I can honestly admit he had good reason to. I won’t go into details of that but I can assure you that it left us both in silence to one another for 6 months.
    I finally got the courage to message him after so long and he replied a few days later. Since the initial email, we started sending each other YouTube videos and pictures of things we both like.

    We are now talking on viber, just last week he informed me about his father’s illness and asked me to pray for him. He even calls me “dear” sometimes.

    What I’m wondering is if I should open up and tell him that I truly miss him. The only problem is that we both live in separate countries. I have been planning a trip to his country in the spring and debating on whether to admit my love for him when I get there or should I do it now? Doing something like that over text or phone to me seems inpersonal, but do I want to miss the chance of getting him back now?

    I could use some guidance for this situation. And I would deeply appreciate some advice.

    Thank you kindly.

    • admin
      June 20, 2014 | 7:29 pm

      I think the reason you broke up is kind of important to know…

  34. Sarah
    June 18, 2014 | 11:12 am

    Hi Chris,you have been such a comfort and I am going through a terrible time.We split 11 weeks ago.He says it is because of an incident where he found I was texting a very old ex when we split a year and half ago.I think he just lost attraction for me,we had money worries.He is adamant we won’t get back together.I didn’t do NC but he always text about random stuff and keeps in touch with my daughter.When we were texting a week ago I said I had to go into town which I did half an hour later-lo and behold who was coming up the high street!I asked if he wanted to go for coffee, we did and it was fine until the relationship came up.He said he couldn’t trust me etc.When I went to leave he stalled me and asked me to go into the shop with him where he was showing off saying he was having great time, got a job now lots of money,lost weight.We saw each other after that and it turned sad, I did try to convince him to come back, he pretty much said never never. He has text twice since, once to ask why my daughters phone was off (she said it wasnt) and when he got hold of her he asked her to ask me about a toothbrush charger!Then he text the next day asking if I had some photos. I feel like these are excuses and I have not responded (doing NC) I am so confused and wondering do I take his no never as gospel or still hold out hope? I have lost weight,whitening my teeth and joined a gym, I even look better a week after I saw him :) please help me

  35. J
    June 15, 2014 | 2:04 pm

    I posted a comment about four days ago and when I check I’m apparently STILL waiting for my comment to be moderated. But it seems other’s comments are posted instantly. What’s up?

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