How To Know If Your Ex Boyfriend Still Loves You

Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO

There are many different “signs” that you can look for to know if your ex boyfriend still loves you. This page is going to take an in-depth look at each specific sign and give you an idea on how to proceed if you decide you want your ex boyfriend back. First though, I would be a fool if I didn’t point out that there isn’t an exact science to this. What I mean, is that since we are dealing with a male human being things can be a bit…. unpredictable. So, there may be some rare cases where your ex could exhibit many of the signs below and yet he still might not be interested in you. Don’t worry though, everything that is on this page has been thoroughly researched and is a compilation of many of the best relationship experts advice and findings. While I can’t guarantee anything, I think it is a safe bet to assume that if your ex is doing the things below he is probably interested in you.

Two Things You Have To Do First


Before we get down to the nitty gritty on how to determine if your ex still likes you there are two things that I need you to accomplish. The first is relatively simple, the second one… not so much.

  1. I want you to take some time and figure out if you have a legitimate reason for wanting your ex boyfriend back. As a general rule, couples who get back together after a break up tend to have really good reasons for doing so. Oh, and I think it is important to mention that couples who successfully reunite with legitimate reasons last longer! Still confused? Don’t be I actually wrote a huge post that defines what a good reason is and will even give you some examples here.
  2. Secondly, I need you to adopt a No Contact Rule. Experts agree that in order to put yourself in a good position to win back your ex boyfriend you need to cut yourself off from them for at least a month. Make no mistake about it, it will be among the hardest things you have ever done. There will be a constant temptation to call them, email them or text them. Whatever happens make sure you DO NOT DO IT.

Now, I bet you are wondering what any of this has to do with figuring out if your ex boyfriend still misses you, I assure you it is really important.

The Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Still Likes You

he loves me

Ok, no matter who broke up with who, how bad the break up was or how much you think he hates you I can assure you one thing… he is thinking about you. Did you know that 81% of people still think about their exes too much? What’s worse is that nearly 90% of facebook users still look up their ex. So, I think it is safe to assume that you on your exes mind more than you think you are. The real question is, is he thinking positive or negative things about you? At least that is what you are wondering. Obviously, you want your ex to be thinking very positive thoughts when it comes to you as it will make getting him back a lot easier. With that being said, even if your ex thinks you are the antichrist there are certain things you can do to change his mind. Besides, right after a breakup both parties are angry at each other so there isn’t much positive karma going around.

That is where the no contact rule comes in play. I can pretty much guarantee that your ex won’t be having any positive love thoughts about you a few days after your breakup (especially if YOU broke up with him.) By implementing a no contact rule you are doing two things.

  1. First, you are giving him and you time to calm down and get your wits about you.
  2. Secondly, he is going to wonder why you haven’t tried to call or text him to check up (like he thinks you are supposed to do)

Which leads us to our first sign…

Sign 1- If He Calls, Texts or Messages You


We already know that he is thinking about you but if he actually takes the time to text message you or call you then you should feel really good about yourself because he is definitely showing interest. Now, I am not going to sit here and tell you that all your troubles are over and you can run back into his arms and the world will rejoice. Let’s be honest here, just because he text messaged you doesn’t mean that he wants you back but it is definitely a sign pointing in the right direction. If you are staying true to the NC Rule (No Contact Rule) then you greatly increase your chances of having him contact you in some way. The only thing is you can’t contact him back which is explained if you visit the no contact page.

Sign 2- Does He Keep An Eye On You?


While you are supposed to be avoiding your ex both physically and mentally for 30 days there are certain cases where it is impossible to do so. If you notice that your boyfriend keeps popping up in places that you frequent then this is a definite sign that he still has feelings for you. Now, I do feel it is important to mention that sometimes it can just be a coincidence that they are at the same place that you are. However, I would say  that if you notice them “being around” at least three times then that is a definite pattern.

Sign 3- Do You Get A Reaction?


As you know, I am pushing the NC rule pretty darn hard. However, I am not naive. I know how relationships work and I know that the majority of women reading this will not be able to hold out for 30 days. So, in the event that you break down one of the best ways you can determine if he still has those deep feelings for you is watching how he reacts when he sees you. This can be a little tricky to determine but I will go ahead and give you some things to watch for.

  • Does his face light up?
  • Does he sneak looks at you when he thinks your not looking?
  • If he talks really fast that is a good sign as well.
  • Looking into your eyes for a long period of time is a good sign too.

Sign 4- Does He Keep In Touch With Friends & Family?


Ex boyfriends who are possibly interested in getting back together will keep in touch with your friends or family. This sign especially rings true if you are deep into your no contact. If you aren’t picking up your phone they are going to reach out to friends or family to see how you are. If you want them back then this is a very good sign. Of course, there are some cases where an ex will keep in touch with your family just to annoy you but you can usually tell in those cases.

Sign 5- Touching


I may lose some man points for this but one of my favorite movies to watch is Hitch (where Will Smith basically plays a love doctor.) There is a scene at the beginning of the movie where he points out that one of the signs that a woman will show, if she is interested in a guy, is touching. Well, the same can be applied to men. If you see your ex and he is maintaining some type of physical contact like touching your arm, hand, knee, leg that is a really good sign.

What To Do After You Have Figured Out He Still Loves You

So, he showed some of the signs above eh? Well, now you have a decision to make. Do you want to try and get him back or do you want to move on? Since this is a website specifically for women who want to get their ex boyfriends back I can tell you that there is so much information on this site for FREE that you will be blown away. However, not all of the information is going to give you 100% of everything you need. It is for that reason that I am highly recommending you to check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO. It is really a true “step by step” method to winning back your ex boyfriends heart. Other than that I hope you enjoy this site and find everything you are looking for.


718 Responses to How To Know If Your Ex Boyfriend Still Loves You
  1. Cherry
    April 18, 2014 | 7:08 am

    Hi, just to make to the story short we live together for 12 years then broke up for 2 years he had two relationships. I’ve done all those no contact and it worked. Then we were together again just last year and we’re five months now since then. I broke up with him recently we had a big fight because of his recent ex when they are still together they agreed to renovate the other part of the house all expense paid by the girl. Since he can’t give back the full amount of the expenses paid for the renovation she have to rent the house for 4 years, she have no intention of moving out, she had 4 kids. First I didn’t think it will bothers me but when I’m already on that situation it kills me. he’s too close with her sons and from time to time he talks to her with regards to the house billing. I don’t know if I’m just paranoid or jealous but those “5 signs if your ex still likes you” (which I refer with my bf to his ex) you mention on your article I saw this signs to my bf sometimes I catch him sneak looks at her and had her no. on his phone.

    I told him if he wants to go back with her he can do so I even ask him I’ll talk to the girl coz she still in love with him she told me that when he broke with her and get back to me. she sent me massages how angry she were but she still love him.

    I admit my emotions lead me to decide to broke up with him. I love him but I can’t tell if he really meant what he said that he had changed and that he only wants me. And I must say also that he cheated on me a couple of times but my love for him is bigger than his mistakes. I am so confused. Please enlighten me.

    • admin
      April 18, 2014 | 3:46 pm

      I think you have a right to be upset….

  2. Jane
    April 15, 2014 | 9:30 am

    Hey! I really never thought that I would do something like this but I’m at a dark point and I think a mans advice would be perfect at this moment. Me and my ex met in Spain because we both were studying there. He’s originally from NZ and it all began with just having sex. So in the beginning he avoided getting emotionally attached because he said he has made this experience before and it would be hard for us if we decided to go seperate ways after our graduation. But we couldn’t do it and became a couple. After a beautiful relationship we had we both were finished and had to leave and I was too proud to tell him that I wanted him to make his internship in Europe so we could still be together. He asked me several times and then took a job in Australia. So when we both left I kind of acted like I was strong enough to not care much and move on with my life. He asked me if I could visit him there and all I said was “we’ll see!”. Going back home I used some guy as a rebound so I didn’t have to go through this pain and I think somebody told my ex and he stopped texting me and started being cold. After 3 month he started texting me again (before that we had contact maybe once in a month) and we talked and he said he would be in europe for some days with friends and if we could meet. But he also told me that he has a new girlfriend! We did meet with some friends from spain and he tried to gain my attention and touched me, gave me his jacket when I was freezing. When we went sleeping he texted me but I was so done that I dropped dead and didn’t read it until next morning. When we left I started crying but I still didn’t tell him what I still feel for him. My question is now: should I forget him because he has a girlfriend? Is she also just a rebound? Should I tell him that I would love to stay in contact and if it works out I could come to Australia for a month or so? He also drunk dialed me sometimes but now he stopped…did I miss my chance? We had such a great time I just wish I wasn’t so afraid of getting hurt…maybe you can help me and sorry for my bad english because I am not a native speaker…

  3. Eva
    April 15, 2014 | 5:21 am

    My ex and I broke up 2 months ago. We hooked up again a month ago and I ended up getting pregnant. We had a really nasty break up so I didn’t plan on telling him about the pregnancy because I didn’t want to keep the baby anyway. Somehow he found out about it and he contacted me. We ended up becoming friends and we have been really amicable with each other and he has been very supportive throughout the abortion process. We hooked up again a couple of days ago and we both agreed it was a bad idea. Now he is telling me that it’s not good for him to see me because there is too much sexual attraction between us. I don’t know what to do to get him to ask me out again. I feel trapped because I know he still loves me but he doesn’t want to go back to where we were. I really still love him and I want him back desperately but I don’t know how to do it without pushing him away. Should I be patient and wait for him to make the move or should I take matters into my own hands and ask him if he wants to give it another shot? He told me he misses me a lot but he doesn’t miss the drama. I’m at a loss as to how to keep our contact going without being too obvious about wanting him back. What should I do?

  4. Brittany
    April 15, 2014 | 12:08 am

    My ex just broke up with me last tuesday and he said that its because he is unhappy. We also have a baby on the way. I know he has been stressed lately because he isnt getting good hours at work and He wants to go out and drink and everything and last weekend i was just telling him how i felt and how we need to save up for the baby and him not blowing the money on booze. Then a few days later he texts me and tells me that he hasn’t been happy for a while. We have also dated for two years. I just want to know if you think he will end up coming back to me or No. or if i should just move on. I really need an honest opinion. And im so heart broken but i try not to stress with the baby.

    • admin
      April 15, 2014 | 4:15 pm

      Have you read my guide on getting an ex back with a child?

  5. Amber
    April 12, 2014 | 8:47 am

    I kind of have a strange story and was looking for some advice…

    I was with my ex for over 3 years. Towards the end of our relationship we had a lot of stress put on it because his friend had moved in with us (which was supposed to be for a week that lasted months) and two of his childhood neighbors, who he had grew up with and was close friends to their son, really disliked me because they wanted him to be with their niece who was always crazy about him. We finally broke up over a petty argument that was really no big deal and texted a few times immediately afterwards but that was all. I moved on and got with someone else and he of course gets with their niece, whom he always disliked? About three months later he tells his friend to let me know he misses me and wants to get back together. I didn’t contact him because I was with someone else to and was unsure of what I wanted. Two weeks later he finds out that him and that girl are having a baby. Two weeks from that I find out I am pregnant with the guy I was dating! I hear nothing much from him after that and he goes on to marry this girl and they have their baby. I split from my boyfriend at the time and found out during my pregnancy that my baby has a rare disorder and my child passed away three days after I have him, which is of course devastating. Him and his new wife have separated multiple times since their marriage and he is a manager at a store. He gives all my family discounts and repetitively ask about me. It has been close to two years since this has happened and he tells my friend he is miserable with his wife and I am the only girl he ever loved. He tells her how he doesn’t really even know why we broke up and if it wasn’t for his baby he would already be divorced. He tells her he regrets marrying his wife and is going to get divorced anyways and expresses to her how sorry he feels about my baby passing away. She says he talks about me all the time and I am unsure how to take this? Since she has been telling me about this I can’t help but miss him and feel like contacting him. But at the same time I feel chronically against it because he is married, not that his wife cared to try and hook up with him multiple times while we were together, but their is a baby involved.

    Am I horrible for wanting to contact him? Should I just blow all of this off? Is he doing this because him and his wife aren’t getting along or is he sincere about what he is saying? I am so confused about how to take this and what to do!

  6. unknown
    April 10, 2014 | 5:20 pm

    my bf and i broke up exactly 2 months today ..april 11… he keeps on texting and calling me…we talk on the phone a while ago..we chat for about an hour…..
    we also go out sometimes…..i dont know if he still loves me..he says that he misses me….i dnt want to expect….he wanted to see me again…he is a gentleman.we nver had s*x..and he never insists..and i like that attitude..coz he’s respecting me….

    • admin
      April 11, 2014 | 4:10 am

      So, what do you want from me? Are you asking me if he still has feelings for you?

      • unknown
        April 11, 2014 | 4:29 am

        do u think he still loves me? he also keeps on checking if im reviewing well…im going to take the the nursing liscensure exam on may… he keeps on calling almost everyday…..

  7. Tasha
    April 9, 2014 | 4:14 am

    My ex broke up with me shortly after Valentines Day. I begged & pleaded for him to come back. No Avail.. We started talking again as “Friends With Benefits” which totally weirded me out because I love him & we were back peddling by just sleeping with each other when we were in love for 2 years prior. Nonetheless, I ended the friends with benefits relationship a week ago And now get “I love you” and “kisses” text messages… I wonder if this means he’s warming up to me again to try and make it work. Or is he just fully vested in the sex? #Help

    • admin
      April 10, 2014 | 1:56 am

      I want to say he is just trying to get FWB back on track but I could be wrong. It may be worth playing out just to see what he does. To see if he will man up and stop using you.

      • Karen
        April 11, 2014 | 7:19 pm

        I’m in the exact same situation and have been FWB with my ex-boyfriend for 4 1/2 months now. We were together for over 3 years (lived together for 2 1/2 years) and I’m still in love with him. The difference is that a week after we broke up last May, he had a new girlfriend within a week and he still has that same girlfriend and claims that he’s madly in love with her. So even though he is showing signs, does he want to get back with me or is he just using me? And why would I want him back anyway?

  8. tyra
    April 3, 2014 | 2:13 pm

    me and by bf broke up on valentines day so around a month and a few weeks. We wanted to still be friends and i said that wasnt agd idea. Hwever wen he txt me and stuff i didnt want tk be rude so i replied with small talk. I then found out about the Nc rule and implememted that. This lasted a week. Durig that time he contacyed me and i didnt respond and so forth. Then some ppl told me about a status he out on facebook implying that he was speaking to someone else and someone commented on it saying slow down and he responded wih i dnt care im living life on the edge from now on. I was so hurt by this and rang him screamin at him (i know i shoyldnt have done this). Some time passed and i was in the hate stage so it was easier for me to stay away. Then one day i leave my flat and his car is parked outside but no one is in it. The car was ther for a day and a bit and i finally rang and asked y it was ther because he has no need to be at this part of the city unless its for me. He sed he was meeting hus friends and needed to prk his car somewer. Out of all the places in the world he parked his car here. It was so good to hear his voice and i broke down askin him if he missed me, he sed yes and i asked if he ever thought of us gttin bak together and he was like the convo should end now. I know i was wrong for this. I had bloked and deleted him on everything and then i stumbled apon a job i thought hed be kntrested in so i unbloked him to ahow him and now we speak now and again. Is ther any chance of there being an us. I am his first proper girlfriend and we were together for a year and a half. He has still got all the pictures if us together ob his instagram and facebook so its hard to think that he is serious with anyone vecause im aure no female would want another womans pictures everywere.

    • admin
      April 4, 2014 | 5:05 pm

      You are his first girlfriend so that means he is a bit unexperienced in relationships correct?

      • tyra
        April 5, 2014 | 10:42 am

        Yes i am his first gf. I did everything for this boy. Tbh i know im awsome, i cook clean im about to graduate with my first degree in a life science domain, i drive, i work, i live alone and i am only 20. Whats more is i am attractive. I know he will never get a girl prettier than me nor someone who loved him as much as i loved him. I didnt require nothing from him but love and attention unlike some women who would just try and bleed his pockets dry and nowadays women dnt have domestic principles and values. Last night while i was out a group of guys harrassed me touching my bum and screamin im so sexy this and that and i have never been so violated in my life, i was terrified and the person i went to for comfort was my ex. Ended up txtin him telling him wat had happened and sayin that i wish he was still here so he could protect me and i could go home to someone and get cuddles but nw i have no one. I know this waa a wrong move but hey i did it. And he didnt reply.

  9. Ericka
    April 2, 2014 | 1:07 pm


    My name is Ericka. I’m 22 years old and I will be turning 23 in July. I really need some advice on my situation, its very complicated, and its pretty long so please bare with me.

    I have been with this man for two years. Him and were engaged to one another and it was pretty much love at first site. Everything happened so naturally and our conversations flow so naturally. We were very much in love with one another. We are pretty much soul mates. He’s perfect for me and I’m perfect for him. Ever since we were in high school together he’s always dreamed about being with me. He used to fantasize about me in high school but never had the guts to come and talk to me because he thought he wasn’t my type and I would reject him. He’s everything I look for in a man and I’m everything he looks for in a woman. We have very good chemistry and there’s sparks between us, our love is very deep and we both can feel our souls intertwining with one another every time we are together. Now here’s where everything gets complicated …

    When him and I were engaged I was having a lot of family problems at home with my mother in particular. She has a control issue over me and just couldnt seem to let me live my life unless I did what she told me to do. I collect SSI and I believe one of the main reasons she wanted to control me was because she wanted my SSI check. Ever since this man and I have been together she has interfered in our relationship tremendously, accusing him of things that weren’t true, making up lies about him, and making him out to be some bad guy that he wasn’t claiming he was going to hurt me. That really pushed him away from me and after a while he had enough of it.

    Around September of 2012, I went up to a trade school to learn some independent living skills, and perhaps learn a trade so I could get a good job. However October 2, 2012 I had to leave school because my fiancee got hit by a car and almost died luckily he survived it and had some injuries to his leg. So the staff members kicked me out of the trade school because I couldn’t miss no more than 5% of class and I went to go be by his side at the hospital.

    Well before I left to go to the trade school him and I had a conversation about what we wanted in this future in regards of marriage and children. I wanted a wedding and kids and I was ready to be in a serious relationship with someone that I knew I was going to marry because I been hurt many times before. He told me he didn’t know if he wanted marriage or children because he could never see himself doing that in his life. That really hurt me and made me distance myself from him because I thought we wasn’t on the same page and he didn’t want the same things I wanted.

    Anywho, while I was at the trade school, I called him and asked him for a break because I needed to think about things focus on school plus I was hurt he didn’t want what I wanted because I really liked him at the time. Well while I was at school he was coming over to my house all the time trying to get to know my family and stuff but no one really acted like they wanted to get to know him. He told my family he wanted to marry me and propose to me so he basically changed his mind about what he wanted in life because he loves me. So he showed my mom a picture of the ring and my mom started telling him things like he shouldn’t be with me because I have knee problems and a disability and I will never be able to do anything in my life like get married or have children which made him question a lot of things. She also told him that I said I wasn’t in love with him and then my cousin started asking him if he was sure he wanted to marry me like I wouldn’t be a good wife to him which also confused him.

    After a few weeks of being at the trade school I started dating another guy for like a week it didn’t last because of the fact I still had deep feelings for the man I had at home, and the other guy knew about him .. the only reason why we dated was because I felt bad for him because he was struggling with family problems like I was but his mom passed away when he was twelve so I was just someone he trusted to talk to pretty much like a comfort blanket. Everyone at the trade school knew of the man I had at home and how deep my feelings were for him but he used to get mad at me a lot because we couldn’t talk much because I was either in class or I wouldn’t have any phone service from being up in the mountains. So he started to believe everything my mother said to him about he shouldn’t be with me and I don’t love him.

    After I left the trade school to go to the hospital to be with the love of my life everything was okay .. of course he was depressed and had anxiety because he got hit by a car and he’s never been injured before, he always had the perfect body and he’s big on staying fit and healthy. I stayed at the hospital with him for that whole entire week he was there and I helped him with everything in regards of teaching him how to walk with his crutches and his walker and I was there to calm him down when he had anxiety attacks and feed him and everything else. After he got out the hospital I went to go stay over at his house for a few days to help him and cater to his needs and help his mother out.

    He ended up losing his job because his leg wasn’t healed in time for him to go back to work, so he was stuck without a job for a while. He was pretty upset about not having a job or any money in his pocket after a while so he can pay off some of his bills. Well he kept applying for unemployment and the first few times he was denied then the last time he got approved for it.

    After his leg healed up he ended up moving away from me to Georgia because he couldn’t find a job where I lived at no one was hiring let alone he was having a lot of family drama up here and him his mother and his brother needed to get away from all the negativity that their family was causing. Everything was going okay for him in Georgia then his grandfather’s wife started giving them problems and complaining about how she wanted them out of her house and everything else. He ended up getting a job in Georgia doing demolitian making pretty decent money but he only worked there for about a month until he had to quit because they ended up moving again from Georgia and went to Las Vegas.

    He has a cousin in Las Vegas that gaurenteed him a job working security at one of the hotels there because his cousin is a really big executive there. Everything was going smoothly when he first moved there. We were making plans for me to come to Las Vegas and he wanted to re- purpose to me there and I was going to have a gaurenteed job when I got out there. Well then BOOM! Everything pretty much instantly came crashing down. My mother just kept constantly saying all kinds of things about him like he was going to make me his slave and everything he did she had a problem with she would always contradict herself .. first she had a problem with me going to Vegas then all of a sudden she wanted me to go to Vegas. It was always back and forth with her like everything we did was wrong which caused a lot of stress in our relationship. My mother was basically causing him and I to argue all the time by starting stuff which him and I barely ever argued .. he treated me like a queen and I treated him like a king. My mother always used to get mad because he’s a mama’s boy which I have no problem with that .. I’m glad he treats his mother amazing because that tells me he would treat me just as amazing as well. Anywho my mom causing so much problems pretty much made him want to distance himself from me and the situation because my mother was taking things way too far and she was threatening him and everything to get him fired from his job in Vegas.

    From him distancing himself from me, he ended up talking to another Russian girl that he met at his job which hurt me to the core however its hard for me to be mad at him because I dated someone else when I was at the trade school. He talked to this girl about a month and said he liked her personality. However he wasn’t sure about her because he still cares about me and his heart is still with me. I think the only reason he was talking to her was because she was an escape from all of the drama that was going on between him and my mother. Apparently he’s not speaking to that girl anymore he deleted her number because he says he doesn’t want to be with anyone anymore he rather just be single for the rest of his life so he don’t have to deal with anymore drama.

    Well he has said to me that he wants to be with me, he wants to rebuild what we have and get our relationship back to normal he’s just scared to do so because of everything my mother did. He’s scared to love me again. However last week I moved out of my mother’s house so I can fix things with him and get my life straight. I told him now that I’m not living with my mother anymore we can be together and work everything out between us without having to worry about my mother anymore since I’m not living with her. She even said herself that now I’m not living with her she has no control over me no more and if I want to be with him I can but she’s not going to speak to me or him or even apologize for the things she has done. She is too set in her ways basically she was making me choose between her or him and I chose him.

    Well now for the past week even though I’m not living with my mother anymore he’s still keeping a distance from me because he’s scared to be in a relationship with me and he’s scared to love me again. Let alone he’s having problems with his job in Las Vegas he can’t stand working there everyone always calling him names, people are getting fired left and right and they won’t give him any raises he can’t quit because he has to work there for a year first. His mom is sick with uterine cancer and she’s losing a lot of blood she has to have surgery done, and he has to take care of his brother make sure his brother gets to school and does his homework let alone he has to make sure theirs food in his house his bills are paid off and he hold down his job. He’s trying to get his mother in a better apartment since she’s sick, and he wants to try to find a better job. He has a lot going on in his life right now. I told him to bring me to Las Vegas and I will help him out with everything so he doesn’t have to do it alone but he won’t bring me out there because he scared he has his gaurd up from what happened with my mother and he will feel guilty because my mom said he was going to make me his slave.

    I’m not really sure what to do and how I can help him with this especially being long distance. He pretty much lost all of his confidence, his faith in God, and he feels like he’s not going to live much longer in this world. Everything that happened made him very depressed which is understandable because if I was him I would be depressed too. I been debating on whether or not I should just let him go or stand by his side. I feel like if I let him go he’s going to be more depressed and he’s going to end up going down the wrong path when he’s not that kind of person at all. Then again I feel like if I stay I question if he’s going to play me again, which I’m not sure if he would because there’s so much going on at the moment.

    Lately however for the past few days he’s been talking to me more and opening up to me more, and he’s been telling me that he loves me and calling me baby, babe, sweetie etc .. so I don’t know if he’s giving me signs that he wants to be with me again. I honestly think deep down in his heart he really honestly loves me he’s just afraid and very depressed and stressed out about everything. I’m not sure what I should do I been telling him everyday that I’m here for him and I love him very much and I’m keeping him and his mother in my prayers. With him opening up to me a little more even though things are going very slowly is there any possibility we get back together after all the things that happened to us?

    One thing that irritates me the most is that my mother always talked crap about him but her boyfriend isn’t any better and treats her like crap all the time .. so it seemed to be more like she was envious or jealous of him and I because she knew we were happy and he treated me like a princess plus she knew she would lose control over me.

    I need some really good advice about this situation. I’m confused about everything. I’m not sure what I could do to help him feel better or not feel as depressed and feel like he can trust me when it comes to his heart. I’m contemplating on if I should send him a heart felt card and maybe a small thing of flowers to show him I care about him and I’m here for him through everything or would that be to desperate of me to do? I’m also not sure on if he wants to get back together with me? He seems like he does by what he’s been telling me lately but once again he acts scared and has his wall built up? What can I do to knock down that wall. Give him his space or show him how much I care about him? Please help its urgent .. and he’s really starting to believe he isn’t going to be living much longer like the devil is taking over his life. =’(

    • admin
      April 2, 2014 | 5:50 pm

      I think you hit the nail on the head. Depressed and stressed about things but truly has deep feelings fo ryou.

      • Ericka
        April 3, 2014 | 12:43 am

        So would there be a chance we get back together even though he’s depressed and stressed out?

  10. elle
    April 1, 2014 | 11:11 pm

    So my boyfriend of 3 months broke up with me two weeks ago. I am extremely confused as to why we broke up in the first place. Everything was perfect we got along well. About a week after the break up, he finally got on the phone with me and said he needed to be alone to focus on medical school and didn’t want to resent me for doing poorly on his boards he’s taking in June. He said that I was too much of a distraction for him even though I was always fine with spending time at home with him. I have tried to move on, but I still care and want him back. He still replies to my texts, but never responds to me like he did when we were together. I once went a few days of no contact with him and he called and texted me and then decided to be really sweet and call me pet names (ie. baby face). I’m so confused and really need some type of advice. I have no idea what I should do to win him back. Please help!

    • admin
      April 2, 2014 | 5:37 pm

      I think you solved your own problem. You tried NC before and it worked out pretty well didn’t it?

  11. Anon
    March 31, 2014 | 12:19 pm

    Hi, my partner broke up with me almost 2 months ago now. We were together for 8 years and have been through so so much. I moved states at the age of 15 just so we could be together! A year ago he gave me an infinity ring and promised that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me but wasnt ready to get engaged as he felt that we werent set up in our life enough yet to do so. 4 days before he broke up with me he was asking me to stay home from work so we could cuddle in bed all day. 3 days before he broke up with me he was telling me how much he loved me and enjoyed spending time with me and much preferred it over sitting at home. We had an amazing day and a romantic dinner then he had to work night shift. That night I packed his bag for a work trip he had the next day, he told me I was beautiful for helping him like that, which is literally the nicest thing he has said to me without encouragement. I was on cloud 9 thinking everything was going well! I dropped him at his work place the morning after and everything was fine. When he came home the next day we went couch shopping and he cuddled me in bed and told me he loved me and then went out to “get his wallet from work”. An hour passed and he didnt return. I messaged him and asked where he was he said he was stuck talking to a colleague. He then went to his mums house, wrote a letter to break up with me, came home and asked to speak with me and gave me the letter. His reason for breaking up with me was that he didnt think our personalities were well enough suited to spend the rest of our lives together.

    The only extra information I’ve gotten on this is that he doesnt like the way that we fight, as I would always push and push and push to resolve it right away and when he would walk away to calm down I would get personal and say he didnt care or love me.

    I have identified the problems that I have caused between us, such as the above being stubborn and exaggerating little things and have reached out to a psychologist to help me with these issues. (He also knows I’ve done this).

    At first he was messaging my friend to see if I was ok, and broke down on the phone to me and said that speaking to me was confusing him more and that he’d had messed up feelings and that he felt he had done nothing with his life. Unfortunately instead of not being crazy, I was crazy and just kept crying and asking him why and silly questions. We didnt talk for a week or so after that, then he started trying to make conversation with me, asking me about new clothes etc like he usually would. I fed into it and gave him what he wanted. But I was still hurting so much that when I spoke to his mum I told her how confused and sad he was making me, and I think she may have said something to him. Then we didnt speak for awhile longer and then started speaking again as we were still renting a house together and had not split up all our stuff. He has told me and my best friend that he is fine and has moved on and wants me to stop hurting and wishes there was a way to make that happen, but then asked me to go see our realtor together and to clean the house together before our lease was up also. When we would speak on the phone it was initially about house related stuff then we would end up having a 20 minute long conversation about life events also.

    He messaged me at 12am a few nights ago asking if I was awake and the next day I found out he was up until 3:30am playing basketball by himself!

    I have NO idea what to think or what to do! Our break up wasnt “sour” or “ugly” and he wants to remain “friends” because he feels I am his “best friend”, this is obviously not what I want though (long term anyway).

    He is so confusing and I have no idea what to do!
    Please help!

    • Anon
      April 2, 2014 | 8:38 pm

      How come everyone but me gets a reply :(

      • admin
        April 3, 2014 | 5:40 pm

        You get a reply!!!!

        • Anon
          April 5, 2014 | 9:14 pm

          Can I please get some advice? :(

          I found out he kissed another girl and thinks he may like her but says he doesn’t really know her. He’s also said that he felt he did everything he could to save our relationship but gave up as he felt there was no hope in fixing our issues.

    • Shaine de guzman
      April 5, 2014 | 2:05 pm

      Same thing that happened to me, but yoo of course u need a time for ur self too… U need to fix and stop worrying for awhile,, i know it’s hard, but u’re hurting urself more if u continue to fight to win the relationship back… Like seriously if he really wanted you in his life he never have done that to you.. But it happened, he hurt ur feelings by him breaking up with you and not being man enough to say it to you face to face… I would suggest to start a new life, make him think u’re okay… Dont make him think that u still want him u’re still chasing him cuz that’s what makes them to walked away more from you,, just move on, even when u cant, just show him u did move on and yeah find for someone or wait for someone new that would take his place,, there’s always a guy that is better than him :) …. And when the time you started ur new life ur ex would STILL checked u up, and he will of course jealous, but then dont make any move, make sure he makes the move first and if u’re already in relationship with the new guy then DONT BREAK UP WITH HIM JUST FOR YOUR EX.. Cuz remember how you felt the day when ur ex broke up with u…

      • Anon
        April 6, 2014 | 6:05 pm

        Did you get your ex back?

  12. Caitlin
    March 31, 2014 | 3:33 am

    So my boyfriend and I started dating May 10, 2013. We were together for 7 1/2 months and were completely happy. We were in love. We were together 24/7 and always laughing. I went with them on their family vacation and everything. Then two days before christmas he decided to break up with me. He said he loved me but we needed some space. We talked everyday for that next week and then I just cut him out completely for a month and a half. On new years he took another girl home, one he had had a relationship with before, but never dated. Then around the middle of January, he told me he missed me and wanted to come back into my life. He said that not a day went by that he didn’t think about me. My mom and friends refused to let it happen at first because he hurt me before, but eventually they all came around and we started talking and hanging out again. We were completely happy when we were together, it was like nothing had changed. The all of a sudden we fought for a few days straight. But it was about something stupid, like not being together enough. So we both decided to just be friends and work on our “friendship” but I couldn’t do it and I told him I either wanted him in my life as a boyfriend or not at all. We just stopped talking to each other about a week ago. Before we stopped talking, I went over to his house to talk. I cried for a little bit and we talked about everything that went wrong. Then I moved over to the same couch he was on and we were just talking and listening to music, having a normal time. Then, he kissed me and told me not to leave when i said I had to leave. I started crying and saying how much this sucks and so he kissed me again. He told me I’d always be his baby and that he loved me. I don’t understand why he doesn’t want to be with me, if he “loves” me. He said that one day he can possibly see a future with me and that if we find each other one day that it’ll work and be perfect. We’re seniors in high school and only have a couple months left. He also said that if he had to see me with other guys, make sure they’re good and I’m not settling. But then I found out he was hanging out with his ex, whom he never dated, but he told me he wasn’t planning on being anything with her again. What am I supposed to think of all this?

    • admin
      March 31, 2014 | 4:20 pm

      How can he be her ex if they never dated?

  13. bern
    March 30, 2014 | 8:24 pm

    hi my name is Bern. how can i win back my ex with new other woman involve. i really need your good and best advice right now.


  14. Dee
    March 27, 2014 | 5:27 am


    I have a troubling situation on my hands, I have been broken up with my bf for almost 2 years, what happened was his family stole a good deal of money from me and they are in turn blaming me for their family’s problems and refuse him to talk to me. He still wants to be friends but his family makes it really hard for him. I know him very well, he is very insecure about himself and seems to always avoid talking about what happened with us. He broke up with me 7 months and soon after started talking to his exes again, claiming he had no feelings for them but he would share his texts with me when i asked politely, saying he had nothing to hide. But the messages themselves said something completely different in my eyes. And he claimed that these girls were always like that.

    Because of the family stealing issue I moved back to my old town, after moving in with him. And he’s always using “I’m just extremely busy. And I’ll talk to you later,” but then he becomes distant again. I don’t know if the NC Rule will even work in this situation..

    I have had several boyfriends before him. But they all treated me Extremely badly, and when he asked me out, He was the best thing that had ever happened to me. He brought me out of my shell, helped me to recover a lot from my PTSD and i hardly jump at anything anymore. He got it so I loved Thunderstorms instead of fear them. He has done so much for me and now I fear that because of the family situation, he won’t ever get the chance to be with me again. Sometimes he won’t talk to me for 2-4 weeks at a time, and then out of the blue he’ll contact me with just “hi.” What should i do?

    • admin
      March 27, 2014 | 11:59 pm

      What was the main reason behind the breakup do you think?

  15. Caia
    March 25, 2014 | 1:24 pm

    My exboyfriend broke up with me and i applied the no contact rule for 30 days. During the no contact rule .. he texted me once to check if im doing okay ,, i responded and never spoke to him again. Yesterday was his birthday so i wished him today formally and nicely. He cared enough to notice that i dint wish him on his birthday but during this conversation.. he sounded a lil angry or you can say rude to me cause i replied late. He said ‘i woudlnt even care if you dint wish me’ Idk what to do or expect. Help!

  16. Wjsings4life1220
    March 23, 2014 | 3:56 am

    My Ex boyfriend and I started dating a year ago, Valentines Day. We are both currently 17 years old. And instantly we were both head over heels in love with each other. He was my first partner, and serious relationship. We experienced 3 break up-make ups. But this time it was bad. And whats worse is that we live sooooo close to each other and have some mutual friends. We’ve been broken up for a little over a month. My heart is still very broken. I still LOVE him with every part of being, and there hasn’t been a day that has gone by that I don’t think about him or miss him. We continuously have encounters and most times its uncomfortable and awkward mainly because of how close we use to be. And lately his emotions toward me have been Hot/Cold, and I usually ignore him when I am around him, but those are the moments when he’s trying to be flirty, talk to me or get my attention. Before, I would text him and tell him how badly he hurt me and that I still love him, most replies returned with attitudes of not caring,trying to find out why I feel this way still, or anger. I use to wonder why to, but have realized that its unconditional love feel for him. We planned to get engaged and marry after college. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I just don’t know how get him back.

    • admin
      March 23, 2014 | 5:00 pm

      Ok, don’t take offense to this but here is the deal.

      When men are 17 they don’t know what they want. They are immature and pretty much idiots. He may need to mature a little more. Nevertheless, what have you tried so far to get him back?

  17. maria
    March 23, 2014 | 2:44 am

    Im 22 years old. We had been broken up for the past 3 months. He said he lost his feelings towards me. But he acted he cares about me. Like trying to send me to the bus station. Carrying my bag. Accompany me while i was waiting for others. Bought me food. And doesnt want to accept the money. But i insisted and he accepted it later on. But when i tried talking about feelings. He wont talk about it. And of course he doesnt call. But we texted everyday. I am not sure what to do? I done nc for a week. But within that week he would text me. Whats your best option? My friends are telling me to move on. But i really love him. He said he lost his feelings towards me due to my attitudes. But he doesnt know since when. When i asked about his heart. He doesnt even know what to answer. But all he knew was. Breaking up is the best for us right now. Im full of hurt. Please respond.

  18. Gabrielle
    March 22, 2014 | 7:29 am

    Hey Chris!
    I need some major guidance in my situation,
    Me and my boyfriend broke up about a month ago now and we were together for 7/8 months, we were madly in love and I was his first ever girlfriend and first love (he’s 18 and I am 17) we were madly in love, like beyond comparison to anyone I can think of. He is in a band which are getting very successful and he left me saying that he hates letting me down as much as he does (band commitments and all of that) I supported him throughout and I only ever ‘complained’ about band things when it caused him to miss a significant event *i.e Valentine’s Day*
    He left me face to face and still kissed me, gave me pet names and told me he loved but his feelings are everywhere…
    I didn’t beg for him back, didn’t plead, badger him, nothing like that, I let it go… A few weeks of no contact and I see that he deleted me off of Facebook and he then started playing games… I initiated the first conversation asking how he was and about giving back each others stuff… then another while without talking, he cancelled meeting up the first time, which I let be! I then posted on Facebook how I was going on a date that following weekend and my ex contacted me pretty much straight away asking to meet up to exchange stuff and when I didn’t reply he got agitated and started constantly messaging me, begging for a reply, I finally said yes and then yet again he cancels on me last minute *turns out he was hungover, he has been drinking significantly a lot more since we broke up* I started up a basic conversation and he started bragging about how much he’s going out and how much girls are complimenting him etc
    I think he got annoyed that i wasn’t giving a reaction and he went on a massive ego trip saying how he sticks by his decision to leave me and that I should move on… he then starts saying “I’m going to block you on Facebook, I never want to see you again” (bare in mind I didn’t say anything offensive or hurtful) I replied calmly with “You need to stop over reacting but ok then :)”
    An hour later he messages me again (no he did not block me in the end…) BEGGING if he could see me the coming Wednesday, I turned it down, he then asked to see me the Friday, yet again I turned him down and now he wants to see me this coming Monday…

    I am still convinced to this very day that we are soulmates and that is why I want him back but I have no idea what to make of the situation and I desperately need some guidance…

    Thank you for reading :)

    • admin
      March 22, 2014 | 6:29 pm

      Are the two of you both seniors in High School?

  19. Anonymous
    March 21, 2014 | 4:41 pm

    Hi I’m 18 ..Me and my ex finished about a month and a half ago after 5 years. We were one of those on off kind of relationships but we always got back within two weeks except this time. He still txts me a lot and we met up twice, but he keeps saying he dosnt wanna get back ever, and that he thinks out time is truly up. Any advice or do u think I still have a chance? Thanks :)

    • admin
      March 22, 2014 | 6:17 pm

      Sure you do… only problem is that in the future is he going away for college? Will you two be seperated by distance after high school?

      • Anonymous
        March 26, 2014 | 8:52 pm

        When we were together we have talked about the future and that we wud get an apartment together, since both our collages would be in the same city. What would you recommend would be my best move on getting him back? Thanks for replying :) hope you can to this too if you get time :)

  20. cos
    March 20, 2014 | 10:04 am

    Hi I have a difficult question my partner of 8yrs has left me for someone much younger 4weeks ago, we have kids together and a baby due soon. He has told me that no way in hell will we get back together. Problem is he is still living in house we have and sees kids plus I’m pregnant so NC is impossible. He can’t move out yet due to financial reasons but I know they are looking for an apartment together. Most nights he stays out overnight and I know he is telling her he loves her and wants to be with her. When he is at the house we seem to get on even though he says he is tense and stressed around me, we talk and watch tv. A few times he has had a couple of beers and we have ended up kissing and being intimate, once he txt me the next day and apologised for it saying it shouldnt have happened. But the other night with no beers he offered to give me a massage as I ws in pain being pregnant, after a while he started to kiss me but I eventualky pulled away and left room…….the next morning he said it only hapoened because we were together for so long and he’s a typical red blooded male, but it won’t be happening again and we need to stop being in same room together I AM SO CONFUSED. What should I do I love him and want him back ? But this girl is still in picture and is pushing him to move out asap to live with her…could there be a chance for us getting back together?

    • admin
      March 20, 2014 | 6:02 pm

      How long have they been dating?

  21. Sophia
    March 19, 2014 | 10:39 pm

    Hi Chris, it’s been over a month since I’ve come back to this website. After my break down, I refused to talk to my ex, never called him back and never intended to. However, one night after a month he calls me twice, which I ignored, n texted me stating that he has something important to tell me. After a couple of days, he wouldn’t answer my text, n I wouldn’t answer his calls, because I was still angry, I gave in and called him back. He explained to me that he was going to take my advice and join the military since his twin got in. To make a long story short, being that I am in the process of joining also we decided to study for the ASVAB together, he’s taking it before me. Of course my dumb self, is catching the feelings back for him, which I am hiding very well lol. However, lately I noticed that he is doing the touching thing, and trying to get close to me, for example, when we were sitting at my table he would rub his foot on mine or touch me when either of us make a joke n are laughing. He even tries to slip in “sweetie” or “babe”when we are talking. I don’t know how to feel, he hasn’t asked me anything yet, but I can’t help feeling that he is using me to help him. What’s your opinion on this?

    • admin
      March 20, 2014 | 5:50 pm

      I think these signs are good (the pet names.)

      • Sophia
        March 26, 2014 | 10:01 pm

        Ok si we have been in contact via text/call but I think u did something stupid. I texted him: “Listen, do me a favor n return the book to the library for me, since I probably never see you again”. .. just see what he would say, never the less it was ugnired by a question odf which library n an ok. :/ what do you think, bad move?

  22. Kiluah
    March 18, 2014 | 11:21 pm

    Me and my bf broke up 3 months ago. On two occasions he came back to me because he wanted to make friends with me however I find it hard to see him going out with other girls. He said He didn’t have a gf after me. Just recently we went out again and then he just stopped communicating. I learned he found a gf. I tried to back off but honestly I still want him back. What should I do?

  23. Gabi
    March 18, 2014 | 4:15 am

    Alright,so a couple of weeks ago my boyfriend told that he would date me for a little while longer,and then would dump me,in an EMAIL. So then I was like ok that’s not cool so I was like let’s just be done,but we can still be friends. He was cool with and I was like cool about it to. Then this last Thursday we had a dance,but I was sick and missed it. He was there and asking my friends were I was. While I was home sick I was like ok I’m so over him and now this happened.Then the next day he smiles at me and his best friend comes up to me and is like what is the status and I’m just like i don’t know. And I like him again,but at the same time I don’t, i need so advice!!:(

  24. Nicole
    March 17, 2014 | 2:41 am


    I dated my ex for around 8 months.We had a mutual breakup due to several weeks of arguing. A few months after we broke up, I ended up moving in with him and we were roomies for 2 years. We had sex the entire time we lived together even though we weren’t dating anymore. I dated around during that time, but nothing serious came my way. He didn’t really date while we were living together. A while after I moved out I told him that I didn’t want to have sex with him anymore because it was hard for me since I had feelings for him again and I cut off communication for a couple of months. The distance seemed to make me feel better and we went back to being better friends with better boundaries when we began talking again. Unfortunately, We started having sex again several weeks ago and I am back to being confused. He has been acting unusually sweet towards me. He has been cuddling with me when we are in bed, which he never used to do. He has told me that he really enjoys spending time with me, but that I really annoy him when I text him, so I have been trying to do that less. Over the past couple of years I have put on a lot of weight & while I’m sure that plays a part, I am not sure how big of a deal it is to him. I really like him and I would really love to hear outsider’s opinions since clearly the situation is extremely dysfunctional! Feel free to ask further questions.

    Thank you so much,

  25. Sarah
    March 16, 2014 | 6:51 pm

    hey so its a long story but my boyfriend broke ups with me for the second time, but I know it was a mistake and that we could work. He contacted me three days later to give me shoes he found at his place We agreed to talk after spring break. A week later he contacts me again to say he found a shirt. I have had this time to think and realize my faults and how things could have been different but just need the chance. Do i contact him to get the item? Also what does it mean? During first break up ( we rushed into things though) we did not speak for a month and got back together 2 weeks later. this time he’s contacting me about giving items back…does it mean anything?

    • admin
      March 20, 2014 | 6:28 pm

      It means he wants to give you some items back.

  26. Laura
    March 15, 2014 | 9:49 am

    My boyfriend of almost two years recently broke up with me(due to arguing a lot). I immediately implemented NC and made it through the 30 days. He texted me about once a week during the NC period but I made it through. After NC ended, he called me and we had a great conversation that I could tell we both enjoyed and it felt like the beginning of our relationship again. The next day we repeated this with another enjoyable conversation. After these two days however, he disappeared and blamed it on ” just being busy”. Then, not knowing what to do, I restarted NC and now have not heard from him in almost a week. I was wondering if I could get your opinion or advice on where to go from here.

  27. marlyn bacaling
    March 13, 2014 | 3:20 pm

    relate much!! this information helps me a lot!!

    i keep on asking my self..if my ex boyfriend still wannt me back..

    thanks alot!!

  28. Sunflower
    March 10, 2014 | 2:24 am

    Dear Chris,

    Among all the advices in reference to recovering a boyfriend after a break-up, I have liked yours the most.

    Would like to keep in touch with you regarding questions on these touching issues.

    Thank you!

    • admin
      March 10, 2014 | 5:08 pm

      You can reach me through the comments

  29. cora
    March 8, 2014 | 10:41 pm

    Hi im 11 and at a dance I found out from my friend that he cheated on me while we were dating. So I started crying while leaning a against the wall. And my 2 friends told him how I was crying. And my friend told me that he said and I quet bring her over here and with a smile on his face like he is happy that he will see me face to face. And so my friends draged me over to him and they said something like go on talk to her and he said I dont know to my friends. Soooo I don’t know if it was because he was to shy to talk to me or what. Thanks

    • admin
      March 10, 2014 | 5:24 pm

      eleven years old…..

      Is this a joke?

  30. Tash
    March 6, 2014 | 6:33 pm

    I and my man were together for five months and he broke up with me because he was having issues with work and home and too busy to actually see me..thing is I know he cares about me a lot..he says he doesn’t love me but I know he liked me a lot…I hv fallen hard for him and I feel like I can maybe get him to get back together…but do you think the thirty day NC rule is too small or just enough..please help me…we were always so happy together…I miss him…please help me get him back…I don’t feel like Ive done everything to get him back…

    • Brooke
      March 11, 2014 | 6:10 am

      I have the same exact problem! We were going to prom and then one night on our sixth months date he starts acting like an ass. I broke it off. We decide to talk the next day. He says he doesnt love me. I gave back all his stuff and gifts at his front door the next day. I try to talk to him again 2 days later to get some answers. He says things to hurt me. I cry. When i was about to give him the letter saying why and how i loved him i decided he didn’t want it. I tried to leave. when he realized i was there to get back with him yhrough that letter he changed being a jerk, ran after me when i tried to leave,read the note later and begged for my forgiveness. We haven’t talked since. Though this was 4 days ago lol

  31. Ladyayla121
    March 4, 2014 | 4:20 pm


    My situation is complicated. He and I broke up in October but he and I still live together in a one bedroom apartment. We still sleep in the same bed and tell each other almost everything. He still talks about us like if we move he wants me to go with him, but yet he encourages me to see other people but then he gets jealous and kisses me. We have been together 7 years and I dontdon’t know if he just wants a break to figure out what he wants or what. He says I’m his family and where I am he feels at home. If so why’d he break up with me? I’m so confused. What should I do? I love him and want my life with him. He’s my everything.

    • MaryLauren
      March 5, 2014 | 3:48 pm

      To be fair, it seems like he doesnt want to leave you because if he didnt want you he’d move out and wouldnt want to sleep in the same bed, you were together for 7 years thats a long time! Maybe its just he needed to be apart, from what i see it seems he loves you, an he still shows jealousy x

  32. MaryLauren
    March 4, 2014 | 4:16 pm

    Me and my ex broke up about a month ago he said he doesnt want anything to do with me i wanted to write to him but i left him to it he blocked me on facebook and 3 days later unblocked me then 2 weeks later added me on facebook and blackberry messenger, i asked why he said he just wanted to sort it out i said sort what out and he replied “i was in the wrong and i shouldnt havr took things too quick, i want our relationship but i want to take it slow” could this mean he loves/misses me? :) please reply!!

  33. KeyKey
    March 3, 2014 | 7:20 pm

    Hi Chris. I really need your help. Me and my ex dated for 11 months and my mom made me break up with him because she thinks he’s not good enough for me (we are both 18 by the way). And this is killing me. She is being an asshole and I have to suffer for it! I wish that I had saw this site before I made these common mistakes (calling and texting too much right after the breakup). I’m a week into the contact rule and I’m tryna get through this but I’m scared that he is so angry that he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore or is tryna move on and forget about me. I want to at least get him to hear me out and let me explain the breakup and what it means for the both of us. I really want to be with him for the rest of my life but how do I let him know that but at the same time know that we have to take some time apart to get ourselves together and move out of my moms’ homes in order to do so if he won’t even talk to me?

    • admin
      March 4, 2014 | 3:15 am

      Whoa now.

      Going to war with the mom is not going to be a winning strategy. True she should mind her own business but that kind of frictino never ends well.

  34. Haley
    March 2, 2014 | 11:14 pm

    OK so my boyfriend of 2 years recently broke up with me pretty much with no explanation other then saying we fought all the time, but this is by far not true. Im 31 and he just turned 33. Its been 4 months but just recently implicated the NCR due to having my dog staying over at his house until I had a place of my own and have almost complete it just shy 4 days when he randomly showed up at a friends house I was hanging out at. However I did not talk to him or make eye contact. He has only had one other serious relationship his whole life and that was in high school. I think he also might suffer a little from the peter pan syndrome. We lived together about 1 1/2 year before he purchase his 1st real house… I decorated and moved all the rest of my belongings in from storage and helped with everything cleaning, picking up the yard etc as i have always done. He has had a rough child hood with emotional detachment from his mother until recently after his dad died his mother turned around and now it seems thats the only person he trusts. Our relationship was perfect until about May 2013 We moved into our new house August of 2013 and we broke up November 2013. In around July 2013 we had had a fight and thats when he tells me he had talked to his mom about marriage. I thought that was a good sign so I told myself I would improve and no fights from then on. He has a huge communication issues and dose not know how to communicate effectively and sometimes it seems he is stuck in high school and plays games. After the break up I tried to get back together I tried to talk to him, I tried to be his friend.. nothing there were no issues of cheating or anything. Weeks and days would go by from time to time we would see each other or run into each other and I get mixed signals like texts me randomly about my dog when he knew the answer, talk about me to other friends, ask for address to a party he knew I was going but told another friend he was not going. I even asked him to lunch one day just trying to be a friend and he automatically assumed I wanted to get back together. We have a lot of friends mutually at the beginning he started telling his friends not to invite me places . But that only worked with his immediate best friend who was married to my best friend which has been a huge stain I feel as though our friendship is in jeopardy. Within the last month of the NCR he started asking about me and what I was doing and wanted to know about the baby ( my brother just had a kid) I had also noticed a while back that he had un friend me from Facebook probably a month before NCR and he stated to a friend that he did not un freind me ? He had somehow thought I got a new boyfriend and started commenting on it to friends. So anyways I have made it a point as the NCR to not see or contact or text etc well I have been laying low for well over 2 months I had met a friend and was hanging out and was well assured he would not show up. Well he did along with his best friend and my best friend who was mad because he accused her of inviting me and our other friends have told him numerous times that Im welcome anytime. They were not even invited though Im not certain of any of this because he never said anything to me. Never yelled or cursed at me IDK what to do its like Im in high school. I just don’t know if he feel stupid for breaking up with me and has to much pride or if he has commitment issues. I also think he might also think Im obsessed with him, he told a male friend recently when I have not even seen him in 2 months that he wished I would bring a guy so I would not fallow him around? I finally told my friend that he needs to grow up its been 4 months

    • admin
      March 3, 2014 | 6:22 pm

      Yup, you might have to stick to NC for a while.

      • Haley
        March 3, 2014 | 11:39 pm

        Its kinda hard being in your 30′s to make new friends … since we have mutual friends you think I should just do what I’m doing and act like nothing is wrong and don’t talk or make I contact if we end up at the same place. I think what it really is that Im happy laughing and carrying on and he jealous cause now Im not with him idk.

  35. Caroline
    February 28, 2014 | 12:49 am

    HI! I AM IN DESPERATE NEED OF HELP! I met my ex-boyfriend at work when I was 16 and he was 20. We were only friends and we were both seeing other people. It was my senior year and we started talking more. We started talking on twitter a lot but since I was only 17 at the time we never hung out or texted. I turned 18 and he gave me his number and we started talking. About three weeks later he asked me to hang out. We fell for each other very fast and everything was fine. We fought often but that was due to misunderstandings and the large age gap. I did not want to date him at first because I was leaving for college in the middle of august and we just started becoming serious in the middle of april. He was everything I could hope for in a boy friend and after about three weeks he convinced me. We started dating and I had the summer of my life. He was my first partner and my first real adult relationship. I went to college two hours away from home and it was so hard. We went from constantly seeing each other to seeing each other once every two or three weeks. After I left for school jealousy soared sky high, and I became a little depressed. Our relationship was going downhill and neither one of us knew how to fix it, but we did not want to give up hope. We broke up and got back together at the beginning of November. When we broke up I felt numb and I was experiencing something I had never felt before because normally breakups did not affect me. We still talked every day and we got back together after about a week of being broken up. About a week later he told me he couldnt do it anymore and that he needed to figure himself out and that he felt like I was forcing him to be with me. Now that I look back, I kind of was, because I did not want to be broken up. We said we were going to take a break. but neither one of us were in the position to take a “break”. The break did not last long and we were broken up officially once again. When I came home for thanksgiving we hooked up. It was not the same as it had been before, it was very awkward and when i dropped him off at his car we didn’t hug or kiss or anything. he told me he would text me later and to tell him when I made it back to college safely. Hooking up made me even more confused and I wanted to talk about it and he said we never should have hung out because now everything is messed up even more and that he still felt numb. I came home for a month over winter break and once again we tried to hang out. We did not hook up but it was awkward and almost forced. At this point we still talked almost everyday but I feel like he was talking to me just to be the good guy not because he wanted to. At one point before break he told me he felt like he had to talk to me. I started hanging out with other guys and he started hanging out with other girls. He told my friend at work he had a great time with another girl and it was the most fun he’d had in a long time. I didnt talk to him for the last two weeks of my winter break and I left back for college. I sent him a drunk text on new years about how I feel like we cant be friends and all of this stuff and he replied in a very mean manner. I was embarrassed and did not text him back. We hadnt talked basically since new years and he text me my boss wanting me to get him something. We had small talk and he stopped texting me back. then last week he messaged me. He told me that he got a new phone and lost my number and told me about something work related. I commented on how i did not like the word restraint on the social network and he told me to text him so he could have my number again. we texted for a few days and then that died down. we sent a few short messages over the last few days. I asked if he thinks we could be friends again and he said he doesnt see why not and asked if he thought I could I said yes and he said well that answers your question. I still want to be with him. I still love him. Do you think it could ever work again? He has all of the power and he knows he has all of the power. I do not want to ask him because I do not want him to think I am forcing him but it is killing me. We have been broken up for about six months now. Is it to late?

    • admin
      February 28, 2014 | 10:43 pm

      Have you tried anything like a no contact rule on him before?

  36. Anonymous
    February 24, 2014 | 11:49 pm

    So my ex that I’ve dated for almost 5 years has a girlfriend now. I was with him before the Valentines and he took the girl on the date instead of me.. They started dating on Valentines… We haven’t talk at all. He blocked me on facebook but my friends told me my pictures and our couple pictures are still up. The new girlfriend is in high school, she just turned 18 last month.. My ex is 23 about to graduate college…. Do you think they’re gonna last? I love him so much. I want him to be back with me. He was my first boyfriend :((( help me guys…

    • Crystal
      February 25, 2014 | 7:14 pm


      I am in the same boat as you and can use any advice but I’m still waiting for people to contact me. However, does he try to talk to you at all?

  37. Cass
    February 24, 2014 | 1:58 am

    I was wondering if it’s even worth getting back with my ex who I was with for 3 years. This is the first time we have broken up and I’m missing him terribly. I have been trying the no contact rule but it’s the hardest thing I have done so far. I have only texted him twice since we broke up(he seems sad when I texted him) and he seems very upset whenever I see him out in public and our mutual friends say he seems miserable without me. His mother was too involved in the relationship and he told her off and blamed me for it and that’s why we ended it/on a break. So should I even bother getting back with him? I need advice! :(

    • Crystal
      February 25, 2014 | 12:51 am

      I’m still waiting for response from my post.

      However, does he text you first or do you text him?

      • Cass
        February 27, 2014 | 5:24 am

        He hasnt sent a text first, its been me the two times we have talked. however, tonight we talked and he started the conversation first, but we ended up fighting and he said I ruined his life and he has nothing left, now Im even more hurt :(

        • Crystal
          February 28, 2014 | 3:21 am

          Well the good thing is he is responding to you the bad thing is the arguing. You should ask him where the two of you stand. My ex does not talk to me at all and he’s even moved on with someone who is 8 years younger with a baby… I know how you feel but the more you bother him the more you’ll push him away let him come to you.

  38. Crystal
    February 22, 2014 | 3:08 pm

    Hello, so I’m unsure about my ex… I met him when I was 18 he was 20. Been with him for 6 years on and off… I’m 24 now he’s 26. Just last week he met a new girl at the store who was 18 with a baby and u found out bcos she called while I was leaving his house so I called her back on his phone to see what she wanted. She said she had no intentions of going out with him bcos of her baby daddy. Anywho, my ex found out and told me off and that I always get in the way when he tries to talk to someone else.. But he doesn’t see it in my pooint of view. He told me that I’m making this decision easier for him and that he’s glad I’m not making him regret his decision to end things with me for good. Just yesterday, he texted me these text messages:

    Crystal. I’ve reached my limit. I did love you. Honestly I don’t anymore. I hope you understand. I don’t want you to fight for me anymore. Nothing will change. You just need to let go. Let me be happy. Please.

    I admit I did cheat. And I’m very sorry for that. I know I’m not perfect. I know I’ve made mistakes. But I also know that I don’t want to be wiith you anymore. I don’t feel the shame way I did with you. I still care about you. If something happens to you of course I’ll be hurt. Because we’ve had something that won’t just go away. But I don’t feel it anymore

    I know you’ve always been there for me. You always caught me whenever I was falling. And maybe that’s why I liked being around you. It’s hard to. I’m a guy I’m not gonna show it the way you do. But whenever I feel hurt I remember the wrong doings.

    My question is do you think he is confused or do you think he will be coming back to me if I leave him alone… I love him and i do want him back so what do I do? I’m heartbroken.

  39. Chantel
    February 21, 2014 | 6:08 am

    Hi so I need to know if it is worth trying to get my ex back. We were together for a year and a half And we were happy. Went away together and had fun. The things just changed and he became a bit distant. The day he left me he cried more than I did and told me that I was the best girlfriend he has ever had and he never had to worry a day in his life about me, but that I was becoming to serious and he is just not ready for that and that he doesn’t think he loves me. After the breakup he still offered to follow me home to make sure I get home safe. He also asked that we remain friends as he enjoys every moment we spend together. He has contacted me and asked how I am. And we do sometimes talk about our commom interest. His parents told me that he gets very upset when they talk about me. Lately I have heard that he is hanging out with his ex who he himself said that she is not the right choice and not at all marriage material. Nobody in his family likes her but it is as if he is fighting against them and he has always valued their opinion. Do you think that he might just be scared of commitment and that is why he is pushing me away and went back to the girl that lies and cheats on him because he knows it is a safe option?

  40. Annonymous
    February 18, 2014 | 11:02 pm

    Ok Chris I have a question. Supposing the NC works wonders and my ex texts early or in the middle stage of NC saying something like “I miss you” or even “I want you back”, would it still be best to ignore him til the 30 days are up? Or even for just a few days more?

    • admin
      February 19, 2014 | 7:19 pm

      Actually, I am going to wait to answer your question b/c I talk about this specifically in my latest guide I am working on now.

      • Annonymous
        February 19, 2014 | 10:21 pm


  41. Steph
    February 17, 2014 | 6:37 am

    Hey. So I am so unsure about my current situation with my ex and I would really love a guy’s perspective on it.
    We dated back in 2008 (almost 6 years ago) and it only lasted 3-4 months. We both fell for each other hard and quick and to be honest, I can’t even tell you why we even broke up. I think his friends got too involved. Anyway, he would still try and talk to me and be friends but as soon as we would hang out or be left alone together, we would get intimate. This went on for about 8 months until we both got into new relationships. We would still talk here and there and we both ended up cheating on our then current partners with each other – not once, but twice. After the second incident (Sept 2009) we stopped talking altogether and didn’t even see each other even though we lived in the same town. A little over 3 years later (Nov 2012) he pops up out of nowhere and starts talking to me again and wanting to organise catching up. I had just recently split from my boyfriend and agreed. We caught up and history just repeated itself. This went on until about April 2013. The last time we caught up with each other, he took me to go see a movie instead of the usual meet at one another’s place and get intimate. I was a little shocked to this as he just wanted to hang out and be out in public together. After that night, we didn’t talk for almost 3 months and he was moving out to his family’s farm. We only talked for a few days and then nothing, only a “happy birthday’ which was in Sept. Christmas passed, New years passed and still nothing from him until 5 weeks ago when he randomly texted my saying ‘hey ’ as if no time had passed. We talked all day and all night but it was different. He was overly nice and showed almost too much excitement for me as I told him I was heading overseas in 5 months and purposed that we catch up before I leave. He also made it clear that he didn’t have a girlfriend and ended the conversation with a kiss, which he has never done before. 3 weeks later we talked again. Same thing, overly nice and flirtatious and ended the conversation with another kiss. I have never been the one to instigate a conversation nor to catch up. When we are together though, it’s not just getting together to have sex. We get along like a house on a fire and will stay up all night and just talk. He often brings back up past memories of us and is always touching me or being affectionate.
    So does he still has feelings towards me or is using me as he knows I’ll always run back to him. Perhaps he is just lonely and bored? I have no friggan’ idea!! I still have very strong feelings towards him but at the same time, I’m not expecting anything from him. Any help would be amazing!

    • admin
      February 17, 2014 | 7:46 pm

      Hmmm… honestly. I see some chemistry there but he has trouble committing doesn’t he?

      • Steph
        February 17, 2014 | 11:21 pm

        When I think about, yes he does. He has never really followed through with anything. Should I just be upfront and ask him?

  42. Annonymous
    February 16, 2014 | 4:15 am

    Hey Chris, I just read this guide and I still have some conflicted feelings about how my ex might feel about me. I would like for you to tell me what u think. A few days after he told me he wanted us to be friends in the future, we agreed to stay in touch. A few days later while texting he asked me if I missed him and before I could reply he said he missed me a lot. I tried to play it off and didnt answer his question. Which he later that night re asked and I said I missed who we were together and he said he did too. However I changed the subject and he asked my why I did that and why I was acting different? This annoyed me because I was trying to just be friends and yet there he was still wanting to talk about us as a couple. Of course I dont really want us to be friends but I was so hurt with this situation that I reacted that way; nice but non girlfriend like. This sparked something in him and he asked me to go out the next night. Bad idea. I behaved like a friend the entire time making convo and keeping us busy in things other than our situation. And long story short, he did not like this. Its almost like he wanted to be friends but with the benefits of a relationship or maybe he actually did want to talk about us. After that night he became more and more distant with me. He was irrecognizable. He was completely different even from when he had asked me to be friends. I had never seen him like that. And everytime I pressed him to talk about his feelings he would deny it like he never had before and asked me to leave him alone. He was cold, distant, and definately not himself. Eventually we talked in person and he told me (after constant pressure from me), that he loves me but the fire had died out and that he needed to be alone to figure himself out. So immediately I implemented the NC rule. Today is day 5 actually and ive made no contact and neither has he. So my question is, what do you think caused that sudden change and that sudden need to tell me how he “really felt” about me? Im so confused…

    • admin
      February 16, 2014 | 6:17 pm

      So, it is still early in NC.

      Just be patient.

      • Annonymous
        February 17, 2014 | 1:44 am

        I will. What do you think the chances are for him to contact me again, based on the details I gave u?

        • Judy
          February 18, 2014 | 9:55 pm

          Can I step in?. I think he’s just confused, give him time, the NC will work, I think he’s just confused because maybe he wanted to get back together when you shut him out and told him that you just want to be friends. Give it some time and everything will turn out alright, and be positive ;)

          • Annonymous
            February 19, 2014 | 10:22 pm

            Thanks! Much appreciated :)

  43. Bree
    February 14, 2014 | 10:54 pm

    So on New Year’s Day this year my boyfriend of 9 months broke up with me. I was and still am completely destroyed, he was my first love, my first everything really, and we were so happy! Until the end couple of months, not that we weren’t happy when we were together, but he wasn’t. He has a lot of family stuff going on, and him and my mum have this really great friendship and he told her everything! How he was feeling and how they treat him. He was sad most of the time, which made me also sad.
    I couldn’t do anything, I was trying so hard everyday to make him smile, but talking over Facebook made it hard too. He’s an apprentice chef and works rediclous hours and I never see him. So it’s hard to find the time to see him. Anyway he got to the stage where he wouldn’t really talk. I would ask open questions to lead on to another convosation and he would just answer with one word. I would cry myself to sleep just knowing that he was going through something I just couldn’t understand. Mum has given him the names of places to help with depression but he keeps telling her depression is just a cowards excuse to get attention. When he broke up with me I couldn’t understand he would explain to me how he wants me in his life but he just couldn’t be in a relationship, it was too much for him. He said he wanted me to be happy, to move on and find someone else and if we got back together later on after time let it. I love him so much I’ve tried so hard to move on but I think about him all the time. We don’t talk anymore though. He said “if you want to talk to me you need to talk first” I just don’t understand! He means so much to me, and we had such a great thing going. He made me so happy! I couldn’t and can’t see myself with anyone else!! I just well I don’t know what to do! I miss him so much!
    However my mum keeps telling me, you need to let him to solve what he’s got going on, I don’t want my daughter in a relationship with someone who’s going through that.
    Well he got kicked out of home the other week from telling his mum that she did nothing for him. So he’s now living with other chefs.

    Im sorry if that is confusing. I just don’t know what to do.
    :( please help me!

    • admin
      February 15, 2014 | 1:48 am

      Do you think you could do a no contact rule?

      • Bree
        February 15, 2014 | 2:09 am

        Yes I’m sure I could

  44. Hayley
    February 10, 2014 | 12:32 am

    So here’s my story and I would greatly appreciate it if you would tell me what you think is going on or what I can do to get over him. This is just driving me crazy, lol. In January of 2012 I had just broken up with my boyfriend of 5 years. We were each other’s first loves so I guess I felt like I had to make it work even though the last 3 months of our relationship in my mind was already over. We just grew apart from each other so we both agreed to call it quits. A month later in February, I met another man. I didn’t want a relationship at first with him because I just broke up with someone I was with for 5 years and I needed time to be single. As we started talking more and more I realized that we had a lot in common. He too was with someone for 6 years on and off and they decided to call it quits because of similar reasons. They always fought and their relationship was toxic so he told me. He also is the same zodiac sign as me so I figured out he was just like me, only a male version, haha. We started dating finally for 5 months and in that time frame he told me he loved me, asked me to move in with him when he bought his new house, asked me to marry him and wanted to start a life with me. He said I was his soul mate and I felt it too! I just couldn’t believe it was so sudden though. Things were just perfect so I thought. He was the man of my dreams. One day out of nowhere, he decides to tell me he’s been thinking about his ex lately and thought that he should give her another chance since they have so much history together. I was devastated. All I could think about was how could he still love her after their relationship was toxic and all their mutual friends told them they shouldn’t be together anymore either. All of them told him they think he should stay with me because I am a good catch and he’s going to regret it later. We broke up and I let him go. I didn’t contact him or talked to any of our mutual friends about him. I acted like I didn’t care even though I was so torn up about it inside. He was all I ever thought about. That was in May of 2012. Exactly nine days later, he called me out of the blue and wanted to meet up to talk. I agreed and he wanted back in my life. He said he thought he could make it work with his ex but he just couldn’t. He said he couldn’t stop thinking about me and that he was making the biggest mistake of his life. SO I agreed out of stupidity and dumb and in love still took him back. Things were great for the next 2 months again!! I was happy again until I found out he wouldn’t let me back into his house and started acted weird and that’s when I knew he was still seeing her. I confronted him about it and I was right. He admitted to still trying to make it work with her and me!!! I was so angry I gave him an ultimatum. I said you can’t have your cake and eat it too. I said you want to still marry me then that’s fine start a life with me. If your not sure and you still want to be with her then be with her. He said he didn’t want to lose me but he felt bad about her. He then chose her after all. I found out a month later after I moved away because it was so painful he married her a month later after we broke up, moved in the house that was meant for us two and had a kid with her 9 months after that. I felt like that was just a slap in the face to me. I was so sad, still am. Pathetic I know it’s been a year and a half. Now it’s February of 2014 I moved away and have a new man that I’ve been dating for about 7 months now. I care about him and I am happy with him but I always think about my ex especially since our mutual friends said he’s been asking about me and that his wife treats him like shit now. I couldn’t say it better myself the ol’ saying I told you so. Why though?? why does it have to happen when I’m happy and trying to move on. I still love him, I think I always will but when I’m alone I think about him and I get all upset and it’s driving me crazy. I don’t know what to do. I know it isn’t fair to my new man that loves me now and wants to mend my broken heart that I can’t get over my ex. I have no choice but to because he started a life with someone else and thinks he still made a mistake. I don’t get it. Help me!!

    • Danielle
      February 10, 2014 | 3:11 pm

      I’m sorry to say this… BUT GET OVER HIM. You were a second choice. When he and his ex broke up, he chose you. and then he got back again with her and married her. Now she’s treating him like shit, so he wants to get back to you. You are his second choice. You are an option. DON’T BE AN OPTION. BE THE PRIORITY. You may love him, but you deserve WAY better. I know it hurts. but you know what you’re gonna do? you’re gonna hold your head up, you’re gonna show him you’re better than him and you don’t need him in your life anymore. After everything that he has done… you don’t need someone like him. He made the biggest mistake of his life letting you go. But if he hadn’t, you wouldn’t have met a wonderful man. Love him. He will heal you. Be contented. Don’t come back to the person who treated you like shit. you don’t deserve it. I’m really sorry if I said a lot of harsh words. But I just wanted to tell you that you are beautiful and you don’t need a man who make you an option. You deserve better.

    • marsha
      February 11, 2014 | 3:30 am

      i’m sorry to say this. but you may want to read all of the article in this site so you’ll have the answer.
      i understand completely the problem in your story. But you may wants to figure out yourself.

      Remember, he spend 6years together with her. He must be in love with her from first start but things dosn’t work well, am i correct?
      you may want to read chris’ theory about rebound, is he move on, or the theory of man’s mind that chris write.
      i hope this help you. :)

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