How To Know If Your Ex Boyfriend Still Loves You

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

With over 7 million women just like you coming to this site ever year, I’ve seen about every situation you could imagine. Most of the time, I can just ask a few questions about your situation and know in seconds the chances that you have of getting back together with him.

I’ve compressed all of that wisdom into a single calculator ” What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back.

Take 4 Minute QuizAnd Find Out Your Chances!

There are many different “signs” that you can look for to know if your ex boyfriend still loves you. This page is going to take an in-depth look at each specific sign and give you an idea on how to proceed if you decide you want your ex boyfriend back. First though, I would be a fool if I didn’t point out that there isn’t an exact science to this. What I mean, is that since we are dealing with a male human being things can be a bit…. unpredictable. So, there may be some rare cases where your ex could exhibit many of the signs below and yet he still might not be interested in you. Don’t worry though, everything that is on this page has been thoroughly researched and is a compilation of many of the best relationship experts advice and findings. While I can’t guarantee anything, I think it is a safe bet to assume that if your ex is doing the things below he is probably interested in you.

Two Things You Have To Do First

Before we get down to the nitty gritty on how to determine if your ex still likes you there are two things that I need you to accomplish. The first is relatively simple, the second one… not so much.

  1. I want you to take some time and figure out if you have a legitimate reason for wanting your ex boyfriend back. As a general rule, couples who get back together after a break up tend to have really good reasons for doing so. Oh, and I think it is important to mention that couples who successfully reunite with legitimate reasons last longer! Still confused? Don’t be I actually wrote a huge post that defines what a good reason is and will even give you some examples here.
  2. Secondly, I need you to adopt a No Contact Rule. Experts agree that in order to put yourself in a good position to win back your ex boyfriend you need to cut yourself off from them for at least a month. Make no mistake about it, it will be among the hardest things you have ever done. There will be a constant temptation to call them, email them or text them. Whatever happens make sure you DO NOT DO IT.

(If you want more in-depth help with these two things you can find it here.)

Now, I bet you are wondering what any of this has to do with figuring out if your ex boyfriend still misses you, I assure you it is really important.

The Signs That Your Ex Boyfriend Still Likes You

Ok, no matter who broke up with who, how bad the break up was or how much you think he hates you I can assure you one thing… he is thinking about you. Did you know that 81% of people still think about their exes too much? What’s worse is that nearly 90% of Facebook users still look up their ex. So, I think it is safe to assume that you on your exes mind more than you think you are. The real question is, is he thinking positive or negative things about you? At least that is what you are wondering. Obviously, you want your ex to be thinking very positive thoughts when it comes to you as it will make getting him back a lot easier. With that being said, even if your ex thinks you are the anti-christ there are certain things you can do to change his mind. Besides, right after a breakup both parties are angry at each other so there isn’t much positive karma going around is there?

That is where the no contact rule comes in play. I can pretty much guarantee that your ex won’t be having any positive love thoughts about you a few days after your breakup (especially if YOU broke up with him.) By implementing a no contact rule you are doing two things.

  1. First, you are giving him and you time to calm down and get your wits about you.
  2. Secondly, he is going to wonder why you haven’t tried to call or text him to check up (like he thinks you are supposed to do)

Which leads us to our first sign…

Sign 1- If He Calls, Texts or Messages You

We already know that he is thinking about you but if he actually takes the time to text message you or call you then you should feel really good about yourself because he is definitely showing interest. Now, I am not going to sit here and tell you that all your troubles are over and you can run back into his arms and the world will rejoice. Let’s be honest here, just because he text messaged you doesn’t mean that he wants you back but it is definitely a sign pointing in the right direction. If you are staying true to the NC Rule (No Contact Rule) then you greatly increase your chances of having him contact you in some way. The only thing is you can’t contact him back which is explained if you read my book, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.

Sign 2- Does He Keep An Eye On You?

While you are supposed to be avoiding your ex both physically and mentally for 30 days there are certain cases where it is impossible to do so. If you notice that your boyfriend keeps popping up in places that you frequent then this is a definite sign that he still has feelings for you. Now, I do feel it is important to mention that sometimes it can just be a coincidence that they are at the same place that you are. However, I would say  that if you notice them “being around” at least three times then that is a definite pattern.

Sign 3- Do You Get A Reaction?

As you know, I am pushing the NC rule pretty darn hard. However, I am not naive. I know how relationships work and I know that the majority of women reading this will not be able to hold out for 30 days. So, in the event that you break down one of the best ways you can determine if he still has those deep feelings for you is watching how he reacts when he sees you. This can be a little tricky to determine but I will go ahead and give you some things to watch for.

  • Does his face light up?
  • Does he sneak looks at you when he thinks your not looking?
  • If he talks really fast that is a good sign as well.
  • Looking into your eyes for a long period of time is a good sign too.

Sign 4- Does He Keep In Touch With Friends & Family?

Ex boyfriends who are possibly interested in getting back together will keep in touch with your friends or family. This sign especially rings true if you are deep into your no contact. If you aren’t picking up your phone they are going to reach out to friends or family to see how you are. If you want them back then this is a very good sign. Of course, there are some cases where an ex will keep in touch with your family just to annoy you but you can usually tell in those cases.

Sign 5- Touching

I may lose some man points for this but one of my favorite movies to watch is Hitch (where Will Smith basically plays a love doctor.) There is a scene at the beginning of the movie where he points out that one of the signs that a woman will show, if she is interested in a guy, is touching. Well, the same can be applied to men. If you see your ex and he is maintaining some type of physical contact like touching your arm, hand, knee, leg that is a really good sign.

What To Do After You Have Figured Out He Still Loves You

So, he showed some of the signs above eh? Well, now you have a decision to make. Do you want to try and get him back or do you want to move on? Since this is a website specifically for women who want to get their ex boyfriends back I can tell you that there is so much information on this site for FREE that you will be blown away. However, not all of the information is going to give you 100% of everything you need. It is for that reason that I am highly recommending you to check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO. It is really a true “step by step” method to winning back your ex boyfriends heart. Other than that I hope you enjoy this site and find everything you are looking for.


What Do You Think? (1,172)

  1. Sick and confused - 0

    Sick and confused

    My ex broke up with me a month ago. It was a messy break up. I still am in love with him. For the last few years I had been experiencing stress vomiting that prevented me from getting steady work… this put a lot of strain on our relationship. A week after we decided to stop contacting each other while we both deal with our emotions my doctor called me in to talk about test results. He found out I have a tumor. I had put off telling my ex for a week and tried to seek support from friends (they were unhelpful)… eventually I told my ex and he called me to talk about it and the next day out of the blue contacted me to tell me that he had made appointments and paid for them for me for physio…. he says he cares about me and wants to hear from me and I am waiting to get more tests done… I am missing him right now but am unsure if it’s pity that he is staying in touch or genuine care. Or perhaps he feels guilty. I am unsure if I should continue contact with him even though I want him back in my life. More than ever. What should I do?

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Sick and confused,

      You have the same situation with another commenter but I can’t remember her name.. that’s good that he did that.. I think he genuinely cares.. If he doesn’t, he would have just accompanied you to the doctors but he gave extra effort. I think getting back should be less of your priorities now.. Of course I know you know that but see the good side in this situation. He’s being there for you. Appreciate it and just cherish every moment of it. Get well first. You don’t need added stress. We really hope you get well.

  2. Hicks - 0


    Me and my ex were together seven years. Different countries different languages! We have given up everything to be together and our love was insanely strong. I am jealous person and I don’t give him much privacy he is insecure and flirts with girls to get attention. These two together kept us fighting for years and made thing worse and worse. We broke up after I left home after a huge fight after he has been ignoring me for a while an things weren’t good. For few weeks after the break up every day we d fight and attack each other in a really low way. Now I try to nc but once in awhile I reply because of house matters I have to help since I was the one taking are if everything in the house. Since the half nc I have started e contacts me everyday has been a little bit more soft tell me he misses me and brings up excuses to meet up which before he didn’t want at all. Within the first two weeks we broke up he made out with a chick front of our friends and he was trying to be really hurtful. What should I do? I want him back even though we had some problems and he hasn’t been nice lately to me.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Hicks,

      have you kept it strictly talking about the house only? Are you actively improving yourself?

  3. Nadine - 0


    So my boyfriend of 1 year and 4 months broke up with me out of nowhere. We’re both 28 and had talked two months prior about our thoughts on kids (mine on the edge and his fully in) and a month after that talk I told him that after thinking more about it and talking to friends that I was in and could see having kids with him. He had been the perfect boyfriend during our time together, was engaging with my family, and even the weekend before spent all weekend with my friends from out of town for a wedding reception. He had asked me before about where I’d like to move, what kind of ring I’d want, and the future in general. 3 days after he broke up with my we did the exchange of stuff at my request, and when there I also asked him to not contact me because it was too hard. Did I ruin my chance to let him call me if he changed his mind? It’s been 3 weeks and I haven’t contacted him and vice versa. Just wondering if it’s too late already.

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Nadine,

      no you didn’t but what matters more is what you did in those three weeks?

  4. Jenny - 0


    Hi there,

    I’m in a really confusing place right now.

    My ex and I broke up nearly a year ago. We had four months of fighting after the break up which we’d never had when we were together. It was mainly me causing it and it was, I believe, in reaction to the way he did it (he broke up with me the morning he was going overseas for two months).

    Fast forward 12 months and I’ve worked a lot on myself and have even finally just completed a month of no initiated contact. I can’t do full NC because we work in the same building and I see him all the time, but I’ve decided to keep going with it at the moment anyway by not initiating anything.

    Up until a few months ago, I would’ve said we’d fallen into easygoing friends and having nice interactions here and there.

    Then he started doing weird things like parking right next to me in the carpark, taking photos of our cars together and showing me which I would find really creepy if he wasn’t the guy I’m in love with. We had a lovely date about six weeks ago where he brought up nice memories of when we were together and was affectionate with me. He seeks me out at lunch time and if I’m randomly walking around he follows me and wants to talk to me. He teases me in a cute way, makes me laugh and notices every little change I make to my hair, clothes and make up. He has always said I’m the hottest girl in the world, but he even announced a couple of months ago that I’ve had a complete makeover.

    A couple of days before my birthday last month, he asked me to dinner (long story, but he said he wanted to take me to dinner when he got back from holidays in two weeks). Then on my actual birthday, he asked me to coffee and cake four times before I was able to go and it was lovely. That night I received a luxury hamper from him with a kiss on the card (something that even when we were together he didn’t do so it was my favourite part of the hamper).

    He went away for his two weeks holiday, came back and everything at work has been the same, he’s still parking as close to me as he can and finding me at lunch for cute conversations. The thing is, he hasn’t mentioned our dinner. I made a mini comment about it last week when he asked me if the celebrations were still going and he said “oh yeah, that’s right” and I laughed and said “omg, forget I just spoke”. He said “oh there WILL be dinners, we’ll just do your birthday one in six months to annoy everyone by keeping your birthday going longer”.

    The thing is, he hasn’t mentioned it again and he’s been home nearly two weeks. I know he has long-standing personal (mental) issues and financial issues but it’s just dinner and he asked me in the first place. He told me (during the four months of bad breakup time) that if I give him time and space (he was/is grieving his father also) he’ll be able to give me what I want (ie. everything) so I’m trying to live by that and be patient.

    I’m at a loss of what to do now. I want to wait for him to be ready but at the same time if his feelings aren’t romantic then I don’t want to look foolish by holding on.

    What is the plan after NC and does it sound like he’s into me romantically?

    • Jenny - 0


      I forgot to mention, a couple of months ago I sent him a message telling him that his actions were making me really like him again. I asked him not to reply because I wasn’t saying it to get a response but I was simply letting him know what affect his actions were having on my feelings. He didn’t reply and actually amped up his actions after that. Oh and the reason he broke up with me was because he said he didn’t feel like he was falling in love.

    • Jenny - 0


      I actually have a real time update on this because he actually came and found me at lunch today (first time he’s done it this week and its Friday here) and it was so obvious he only came outside to find me to ask me to dinner and a movie tomorrow night. Five weeks of me not doing anything at all except being warm, flirty and welcoming and he steps up. I am beyond excited 🙂

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      see…just contnue that.. if he proposed soemthing.. let him prove it first.. if he doesn’t let the idea go and just live your usual day.
      look your best and enjoy!

  5. Samatha - 0


    Hi. I have been dating this guy for almost a year. We have had a lot of stupid little fights because he doesn’t know how to control his anger. He gets mad if a guy says hi to me. So to avoid conflict in our relationship I didn’t tell him a lot of things. He cheated on me and we worked through it and he tried real hard to fix things and things were going good for awhile. Then our relationship started going downhill. He started sneaking around and lying. I ended up cheating on him and he couldn’t deal with the pain. We ended up working on it and we promised to tell each other everything. Well to this day we still have stuff hidden from each other but neither one of us will talk about anything. a girl told him many lies about me and he believes her and not me. He said I need to tell him everything I’m lying about or else we aren’t getting back together. I’ve told him everything I can think of and he still thinks I have more to tell. Do I try and fix things with him or should I let him go? We have been through so much together and I just don’t know what to do anymore. And if we get back together I’m not allowed doing anything. No guy friends, no talking to guys, no going out with my friends. I’m going to be on complete lockdown and I don’t think that’s healthy.

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Samantha,

      yeah, it’s not..have you mentioned that to him?

  6. Dina Natasha - 0

    Dina Natasha

    Hi, me and my ex already broke up for 6 years but we still keep in touch (there’s no nc rules because I cannot do that), but he has 2 ex gf after me. What confusing is a few months ago we did something like what couple/lovers did (kissing, holding hands, etc) but after that, he acting like there’s nothing happened. I’m so confused because he said he just wanna still keep in touch with me and he said sorry for being such a jerk. I know I’m so stupid still have feeling for him. And I said it to my ex, “I still love you and I dunno what should do. Should I go away or just stay like this?” And then he replied, “it’s all up to you.” He didn’t gave me the good answer. It’s not clear. And there’s a case where I told him that I want to study abroad and he said he want to spend one night with me before I go. So confusing.

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Dina,

      why can’t you do nc?

  7. Samantha - 0


    Hi there I am sorry to ask this much but I’m hurting. I dated my boyfriend for almost two years. We had a good relationship, he was my best friend. He was my first love and I never felt so connected with anyone. However he had a serious problem with putting in effort. We are in high school but he didn’t have his license so I had to drive us everywhere. He never has had a job so I paid for all our dates. I didn’t mind doing this but when he expected it let alone didn’t appreciate it I got very resentful and hurt. And he continued to do things that were just very inconsiderate towards me. I decided it would be good to break it off and he mutually agreed. I think that was more of a pride thing instead of the one being broken up with for him. Anyways fast forward to a month later and I miss him like crazy. I think about him all day everyday no joke. We’ve talked
    On the phone and text every once an a while, I know that’s not part of the NC rule but we just found out his mom who I’m very close to was diagnosed with cancer a week after we broke up. He’ll text me saying stuff such as how he misses my giggle and how his mom loves me and misses me so much and all this stuff but yet he’ll tell me how his life hasn’t changed. But he’ll do things like text me but when I respond he won’t respond back. I also heard from his best friend that he’s apparently been making out with this girl from his first new job but has no emotions for her and all this confusing stuff. I wanna tell him I miss him but I’m afraid of
    Either two options 1 that he’ll reject me and say he’s already moved on or 2 that he’ll say yes but still be disrespectful. So I guess what I’m asking is do you think he still cares and misses me? Do you think I’d be stupid to try to rekindle things?

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Samantha,

      don’t rush it.. if he really changed, he will show it.. with what you said, looks like he hasn’t.. he said it himself.. nothing has changed..but I think you need time to really focus in yourself this time.. if you want to be supportive with him for now go ahead and then decide later on when you’ll take time for yourself

  8. Cammy - 0


    so me and my ex were together for 7 months. we met at school so we had to go home for summer vacation and we are from different places. Our relationship was a good one. we got into it a bit fast, we didn’t really know each other before we got involved but we fell in love and we were happy and we got really close and we really trusted each other. there were some problems of course as there are in any relationship. he was the first person i ever wanted a relationship with so opening up was hard but i did it. at the beginning of the summer i sent him a long stream of conciousness telling him everything i was feeling and he told me that he loved me with all of his heart and he was here for me and willing to work it out so we talked and things were good and i asked him if there were things that i did that were making him unhappy and he mentioned two small things that we could work on and i said ok but he said there wasn’t anything else. he said he loved me a lot and he was really happy with me. the first time he told me he loved me he said he had never needed anyone as much as he needed me. i once asked him if he was ever got to a point where he wasn’t feeling our relationship would he talk to me about it or just breakup with me and he said he would talk to me about it. however, about 2 or 3 weeks into the summer we had a phone conversation that was kind of meh, we were just talking but neither of us had much to say and he was really tired because he’s been working a lot so we hung up but he said he loved me. the next morning he snap chatted me saying good morning with hearts. i snap chatted him a cute thing later but he didn’t respond. the next day i texted him saying hello my love how are you with a heart and he said hey just kind of tired I’m lying in bed about to go to sleep. after that i didn’t hear from him for five days in any regard. i sent him 2 cute animal videos cause that was something we tended to do and he saw them but didn’t respond. i finally got tired of it and asked him if everything was ok. he said yeah he’s just been busy and asked if we could talk on the phone later. we did and in that phone call he said that he was breaking up with me because he realized he didn’t love me anymore and he had met someone else that he liked and that he realized he didn’t care for me as much anymore. he was really pretty cold about it and it hurt. we talked a bit more after that. he said he did love me when he said he did only days before and he said that when we were together he was happy and he was grateful for the time we had together. he said that it wasn’t anything i did and that i was wonderful, just that his feelings changed and he wasn’t the same person he was when we were together and that who he is now doesn’t like me. i told him he was being really cold and he said that it was the way he was doing it and he was doing it for his own self-interest but that he wasn’t trying to toss me away like it felt and that he still wanted to be friends. i tried to work it out with him but he said no. i asked him to see me so we could get some closure and stuff but he said he probably couldn’t see me until school starts. i asked him why he didn’t talk to me and he said it was something he had to figure out on his own. i asked him if he just decided i wasn’t worth it and he said as mean as it sounded he guessed so. i asked him if he was going to be with this other girl and he said probably. he said he couldn’t be with me when he could possibly fall for this other girl but he also said that she doesn’t do committed relationships and he’s not looking for a committed relationship right now, how could he be so sure he’s going to fall in love with someone when neither of them is going to commit? in our last conversation i was feeling slightly better although it was still bad and i felt like he thought i was a mistake. i texted him a few times after that, he responded once but then not again. he was the first and only person i ever opened my heart to and he said he loved me and he never wanted to hurt me. on our six month anniversary he said that he just wanted six more months. then he turned around out of nowhere and broke every promise he ever made to me and ripped out my heart out of nowhere in a phone call and he won’t even give me closure and now I’m just left traumatized and confused. and i talked to one of his friends who was also becoming my good friend who i assumed he had told just to make sure we could still be friends but he didn’t know about it. i don’t think my ex has told anyone from our school because all of his friends still interact with me on social media. i have no idea wtf is going on and i keep hoping that the no contact will make him miss me but I hate feeling this sense of hope when he seems to be out having fun. if he’s never going to love me again then i just want to get some closure with him so i can let him go and then maybe when we get back to school we can see if we can be friends. but I’m worried asking him will only make him resent me. I fought really hard for him but he never even gave me a chance, he was a coward. i love him so much and it hurts so badly and i just want to get all of this out and have a real conversation with him so i can let him go and move on with my life. he said he was feeling loss and sadness because he was losing something that meant a lot to him, something being our relationship, and he said he had feelings that he could feel himself repressing but that they were going to hit. he says he cares about me but it really doesn’t feel that way. it feels like he never loved me at all and he never thinks about me or misses me or gives a damn about me in general. and i don’t know what to do. please help!

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Cammy,

      you need to decide whether to talk to him first or start nc rigt away

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