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No Contact Natalie
June 2, 2017 at 6:52 pm
after 45 day NC rule on my ex, he began liking all of my social media, but would ignore me when i tried to reach out with a text. it didnt take me long to investigate and find out he had started to see someone new, who is the polar opposite of me. i sent a last ditch message that asked if he ever saw us reconnecting. and ironically he immediately responded and we made plans to meet up. we met up at the beginning of may, and i was super nervous ofcourse because it would be the first time seeing and talking to each other. we spent nearly 2 hours with each other catching up and talking about topics and things that both interested us. he asked a lot of questions about the amazing (ungettable girl) things i had been up to lately, and neither of us mentioned nor asked about our current dating/relationship status. the time spent together felt good. he brought up a lot of nostalgic phrases and topics which i took as him missing me. the end of the meeting he hugged me 3 times, the last one turned into an embrace and he thanked me for not giving up on him, and that he very much wanted to reciprocate the same offer of reconnecting. …………………………………..but after that he went radio silent. i casually texted him about cool things we may want to go do and get no response. but when i initiate texts that have nothing to do about meeting up – he responds. now we are at the beginning of june, and although he posts absolutely Nothing about this girl he is dating i know she still exists because she posts/likes 100%.
is he just happy with where things are at – and i should leave him alone because actions speak louder than words ?
did he think the meet up would be just platonic?
should i do NC again since the situation doesnt seem to be changing? on one hand its huge progress for us to start talking again, and have that initial meet up, but he has ignored my requests for followup.
when is it time to give up?
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 2, 2017 at 7:55 pm
I think he hasn’t fully moved on from you but follow the advice on this one:
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)
Ky H
June 2, 2017 at 12:57 am
My boyfriend and I split up 3 months ago, after a 6-month relationship. He broke up with me because I’m going away on a holiday for 2months without him. We still text every day and have been hanging out quite a bit, like sleepovers, dinners and being intimate still. He says he still loves me and wants to be with me but will have to wait until I get back. But we have been fighting so much lately over jealousy, he tells me he is going to stay loyal but puts no label on us, he still speaks to other girls, and had recently re-added he’s exes. I am confused we get so frustrated with each other but keep coming back. I don’t want to waste my time.
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 2, 2017 at 7:20 pm
by intimate, do you mean sex? if yes, then you’re friends with benefits. If not, you’re going down that road if you keep things the same way.
Arlene
May 31, 2017 at 6:57 am
I still love him a lot. If I am to reach out again, what do you think I should say? What is a ‘nice’ way to confront someone?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 31, 2017 at 4:51 pm
confronting will look like an attack.in your case, you have to prepare to hear what you dont want to hear
Arlene
May 30, 2017 at 7:24 am
Dear Amor,
My ex and I were on texting terms because I reached out to him. Things were going well, we even flirted one night then the next day I sent a message saying I missed him. He didn’t respond at all. I went on a trip for 2 weeks, wanting a chance to think things through. I thought he would message me but no words from him. When I came back, I reached out to him 3 times telling him about my trip and asking him how he is doing but no response again. I don’t know what to do anymore. Should I confront him, asking ‘why’? I believe I deserve an explanation. If he does not want to continue, he should tell me, don’t you think? When we broke up last year, he told me explicitly that he does not want to keep in touch so I do not understand why he is not telling me to stay away this time but ignoring me instead. Why do you think he is acting this way?
Arlene
May 31, 2017 at 7:03 am
I still love him a lot. Do you think confronting him is the way to go if I want to get him back? Or I should lay low for a while then reach out again? My ultimate goal is to win him back
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 31, 2017 at 4:51 pm
confronting will look like an attack.in your case, you have to prepare to hear what you dont want to hear
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 30, 2017 at 7:37 pm
most of the times actions speak louder.. it can be that he doesnt want to say it.. he just pulls away.. but if you want to ask to move on, go ahead..
Anne
May 29, 2017 at 3:25 am
My ex and I are in our fifties and lived together for over 4 years. We split up about 5 months ago. He has a personality disorder and as a result our relationship was always very rocky, but during the good times we got along great and I consider him the love of my life. At first after we split up we were still seeing each other and it was still amicable and then I found out after about 3 weeks he was seeing another woman already and I went ballistic. We had the fight to end all fights and I am ashamed now to admit that I lost my temper like never before in my life and called him all sorts of nasty names. I wanted nothing to do with him after that and things continued to be very nasty between us. We had to get a third party for communication between us, as we co-own a house which we had to sell or one of us had to buy the other out. He said he never wanted to come to the house again and left all the furniture and a lot of his own possessions behind. He also said to the third party that he would rather take a loss selling the house than finish the renovations that we are halfway through, because he didn’t want to be around me or ever talk to me again.
We had no contact for over 2 months. Then about a month ago he came and got a few of his things, his kayak and tools, (with my son here to help him), and he was friendly to me, and I could tell he still had feelings for me. I have forgiven him and am no longer angry, and still am very much in love with him and want him back. I know we could work things out and have a good life together. So a few days after that I sent him an email telling him how I felt. He waited 5 days to respond to me that he did not want to try again and that it was over between us and not to contact him again. My heart was broken.
As things stand now, I am going to be buying the house and staying here, and just a few days ago I phoned him and he agreed to come and help me finish the renovations, despite having been adamant in the past that he never would talk to me again or be around me or finish the house. And he has agreed to this knowing how I feel about him. So now I have hope again for us. I also am not sure, but I think he may still be in his rebound relationship with the other woman, but that is a pure guess on my part. She lives quite a distance away anyways, and at most they would only be seeing each other on occasional weekends.
I tried phoning him again yesterday to talk with him about something. A good friend of his who lives in another province asked me on FaceBook how him and I were doing, and it shook me that he hasn’t yet told his friend that we are split up, and I wanted to talk to him about it. I also wanted to try asking him to go kayaking with me. I took a huge chance that he would refuse and that I am pushing things prematurely and I could scare him away for good from even talking to me again. But he didn’t answer the call and hasn’t called me back.
Do you think I am pushing things too fast to ask him to go kayaking with me? Also to ask about why he hasn’t told his friend about our breakup? Does it sound to you like we have any chance of getting back together? I am feeling very confused. One moment I am hopeful for us, and the next I am heartbroken. I am still very much in love with him, and I feel in my heart that he still loves me. Do you think I’m guessing correctly?
Anne
June 1, 2017 at 2:36 am
I was active in improving myself and for the first few months I didn’t even want him in my life again. I only realized that I wanted him back about a month ago, which was when I sent him the email telling him that I still loved him. But you are right, I have been pushing it… a couple days ago I texted him a pic of our puppy playing in the ocean. No words, just the pic. He did not respond. Today he texted my son, telling him that he doesn’t want to talk to me directly about the house anymore again. My son asked him if he still will do the renovations for me and he didn’t answer. But he didn’t say no. I was thinking I might phone him again in about a month and ask him. What do you think I should do? I am afraid if we keep having no contact, that he will move on for good. But obviously, trying to talk to him right now is pushing him away too. I’m losing hope for us, it’s been 5 months since we split up.
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 1, 2017 at 6:04 pm
it’s been 5 months, approach it like he has moved on..and if he doesnt want to talk to you, that means he might be thinking you still have feelings and he doesnt want you to hope.. take it as a restart.. dont rush.. treat him like a stranger who doesnt like you, but you like him and you know his interests, if it’s that from point of view, how would you attract him?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 30, 2017 at 3:58 pm
Hi ANne,
yup, you’re pushing it.. First you confessed your feelings, now you’re asking him to go out.. it looks like you’re working your way back to being together again. If he has moved on, he doesn’t want that.. even if you haven’t been talking before, if you were not active in improving yourself, that’s not a no contact period.. do that first, and then slowly be friendly again.. do you text before?
Liz
May 22, 2017 at 8:41 pm
My exboyfriend and I were in a on and off relationship for almost 6 years. We started dating when I was 18. And in the beginning it was rocky, We had absolutely no idea what we were doing. After 5 years, we finally agreed to stay together, And if either one “Breaks up” with the other. It would be over, Permanently.
Well, Overtime I became upset that he hadn’t proposed when I was ready to take the relationship to the next level. At first I hinted a bit, and then I began to pressure him. We still had a good relationship overall, We went on vacations and had fun together. He told me that he had plans to propose and that what he truly wanted. But he continued to make me wait, Which changed something inside me, and made me a little crazy. He finally proposed in January of this year, But he put absolutely no effort into it, and the ring wasn’t even real. It made me feel like he didn’t even want to do it the first place. Even though he claimed its something he wanted to do. So we agreed he’d have to do it again at a later time with a new ring.
Valentines day was wonderful! Things seemed okay between us. But a week later we had a fight, It led to some of the deeper insecurities I was feeling over him not proposing. He also felt some resentment, Because I don’t like that he watches really Raunchy Anime. Which he feels that I’ve always “attacked” the things he likes. Even though we like a lot of the same things.
He broke up with me. Over the fight, Saying that I make him feel like absolute **** about himself.
It wasn’t too brutal of a break up. I was crying and he hugged me before I left his car.
I Started NC, And after 2 weeks. I broke it. We talked normally a bit, But when he said he has no idea what he wants, I got upset then I started begging, and getting all desperate. Which turned him off. The next day, I stopped by his house to pick up some things.
After that I started NC again. This time I successfully did it for 62 days!
– I lost 20 pounds
– I started a business
– I made new friends
– I posted positive things (public) on My Facebook.
But He didn’t message or call me at all throughout the entire NC period.
The first response failed through text, He didn’t reply.
The second one also failed. A day later.
The third one, Got through, and he responded positively. This was through Facebook message. We talked a ton through Facebook message for about 5 days, and I casually asked him If I could text him. He said yes. We started texting happily. But I noticed it takes him hours and hours to respond to everything. But when he does respond it’s happy.
. I mentioned all the fun stuff I’ve been doing, And all the great changes in my life. He doesn’t seem too interested in texting back very quickly. But when he does respond, He seems happy. He told me that he picked up a new hobby rock climbing, With one of his guy friends. And that he’s been hiking and being active a lot more. I have no idea if another women is involved at this point.
I’m confused because all of our past breakups he’d text me a lot more. So I’m really confused. I’m not sure what I should do from this point on…
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 24, 2017 at 6:10 pm
how long have you been texting with him? and you need to use topics that are interesting for him..keep being productive in your activities and in posting too..
three
May 17, 2017 at 3:53 am
My boyfriend and I have been together about a year now. It was really good (we broke up before but long time ago) until last week we got in a huge fight and i lashed out the “lets break up” line. it was really stupid of me. we were planning on moving in together because were doing long distance. and couple days once a day i sent him a text trying to let him know that I’m sorry and then past couple days I text him “Hey” and he finally responded and said he does not want to get back together. after 5 days after the break up. and he said he doesn’t “feel” like he’s done, he’s “just done” does that mean anything? it sucks because I’m really in love with him and this all happened so fast
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 18, 2017 at 6:52 pm
maybr he just wants to play hard to get..are you going to do the no contact rule?
danielle
May 17, 2017 at 3:51 am
My boyfriend and I have been together about a year now. It was really good (we broke up before but long time ago) until last week we got in a huge fight and i lashed out the “lets break up” line. it was really stupid of me. we were planning on moving in together because were doing long distance. and couple days once a day i sent him a text trying to let him know that I’m sorry and then past couple days I text him “Hey” and he finally responded and said he does not want to get back together. after 5 days after the break up. and he said he doesn’t “feel” like he’s done, he’s “just done” does that mean anything? it sucks because I’m really in love with him and this all happened so fast
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 18, 2017 at 6:53 pm
maybr he just wants to play hard to get..are you going to do the no contact rule?
Kelsee
May 9, 2017 at 9:29 pm
Alright, so here is my situation:
My ex-boyfriend and I were together just a couple months shy of 3 years. We had broken up once before when he moved away to college for his first semester, which I came to later find out was because he wanted to play the field a bit. We are young, so although I was hurt by the breakup, I also understood why he did it. Fast forward a year and a half later, and once again we have broken up, and I am afraid it is for the same reason. This time, however, what happened is he began to start taking me for granted and spending less and less time with me. He would always hangout with his friends and go out to eat with them everyday, stayed super busy and involved on campus, and made time for everything else, but he just stopped having time for me. I started to get upset and I told him I felt like I was no longer a priority in his life, but he would always say that wasn’t how things were at all. He would say that I was the number one priority and the most important person in his life, but yet his actions always proved otherwise. He did this by canceling plans, choosing to do something with the guys over me, or just giving me the usual “I’m busy” excuse which left his time with me to about once a week, if that. (Keep in mind that we live less than a mile away from each other.) So the more he would take me for granted, the more upset I would feel, which would lead to more arguing. This snowballed until one day about 6 weeks ago when we got into another argument about the same things and he brought up the possibility of us breaking up. I think he did that just so that I would stop arguing with him and I don’t think he expected me to comply, but I finally reached the point where I couldn’t keep fighting to make our relationship work on my own. So I asked him if he really wanted to end things and all he could say was “I don’t know.” So I felt hurt and upset by that and told him to leave if it was that hard of a decision. He hesitated, started to cry, told me he would always love and care for me, but then left and I haven’t seen him in person since. We have only contacted each other by text on two occasions within a week of the breakup, the last text being that he wanted to someday be friends but that he felt this would ultimately be the best for us, and ever since then we have gone full No Contact. He still likes every picture I post on instagram, and he views every one of my Snapchat stories soon after I post them as well. His friends are still nice to me and talk to me every now and then. I have heard that he has been trying to play the field a bit as well but I don’t think it’s turning out how he expected it to. I do know that he loved me wholeheartedly while we were together, we had even talked about marriage after we graduate from college in the next couple years. I also believe that he still loves me and is trying to get over it by being with other girls and having the full crazy college experience. My question is, do you think he will want to reconcile? And if we have already gone nearly 5 weeks no contact, does that mean I should contact him or wait for him to contact me? He is a very prideful person, so I am afraid that even if gen would want to reconcile that he would be too prideful to reach out.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 11, 2017 at 7:39 pm
Hi Kelsee,
You have to initiate..because the longer you do nc the less chances of reconciliation..check the link below for the first contact text:
EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message
Stuck
May 9, 2017 at 3:30 am
Things are weird for me. My ex and I broke up three months ago now. When he left he said it was because he didn’t love me anymore. I begged him to stay and he offered to be my friend so I took it, but it was just me trying to talk to him while he constantly ignored me. He kept saying ” I want to start new with you. Build up from friends and not rule anything out. ” So I was hopeful and he just kept ignoring me. So I did 21 NC and tried texting again after that, he just ignored me again while occasionally saying he ” wasnt avalible to anyone else ” so I kept my distance. We talked on the phone once and I asked if all the stuff he said when he left, if it was true or he just said it for a clean break and he said it was all true, that he didnt love me and didnt want to be with me again
But we were trying to be friends but I found out he was flirting and inviting another girl over to his place so I was like Ok fuck you I’m done have a good life. That was 35 days ago. Since then he has had the other girl over and his facebook is covered in him tagging her in stuff, they work together. I don’t have him on facebook but my sister does because we were all friends for like four years before him and I dated. Him and I were bestfriends. Hell a week before we broke up we were talking about marriage. He gave me a promise ring. So now I havent talked to him. He hasnt even noticed I’m not around. Only time he brought me up was to say that I ” wouldnt leave him the fuck alone while he was at work and he got jack of it so he left ” because I blew up his phone before we broke up cause I was having a panic attack and he used to be fine with it. But suddenly I was annoying. So now I have this rep as a crazy stage five clinger and lost most my friends, while he came out of it playing the victim, with a new woman and all our mutual friends and a happy life. And over the last few months Ive been getting used to being alone and working on myself, even started studying and doing all my hobbies again. Especially time with family. But I still miss him and sadly still love him after all this bad stuff he has done to me. I know I should move on, because clearly he has no intrest in ever even being in my life again. But when we were together he was so good, until he changed in the blink of an eye. I spaced myself away from everyone still in both our lifes. Only one friend. But I just … Still love him. For me it was real but for him its so clear it wasnt. And Ive done everything on this site to move passed it and be happy, but I’m still caught up in it all. And I dont know what else to do. And talking about it here and maybe getting adive helps.
Stuck
May 17, 2017 at 10:57 am
Techinally once. But I guess this now conuts as two times. I didnt set out to do it, I just needed to cut him out so he would stop hurting and lying to me. First time was 21 days … This time is almost two months.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 19, 2017 at 7:42 pm
well, moving on doesn’t mean forgetting the feelings… It means continuing to grow even if you still feel those feelings.. Sometimes the pain doesn’t totally go away.. either you just learn to live with it or it turns into a different feeling, like being thankful you learned a lesson from that part of your life instead of feeling mostly hurt.. sometimes, even if you find the right person, there’s still a little pain when you think about that person..but mostly,that’s because you haven’t forgiven that person or yourself..
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 11, 2017 at 5:01 pm
how many times have you done nc?
Francesca
May 3, 2017 at 11:52 am
My ex said he doesn’t want to talk for a month, but I keep breaking it. He keeps giving me another month and another but lashes out when i break the rule (somewhat understandable i guess). We broke up because i went out, got drunk and smoked with some friends. Thus he says if we ever have a chance of getting back together, I can never associate with those friends again. Those friends are part of a school club i loved that i quit to get another chance with him, and even if I swear off alcohol and anything else, he says its unacceptable to join that school club ever again. Is this worth waiting the month for or should I just move on? Some days I think that I would happily give up anything for him, but others i keep wondering about how he is “just waiting for me to change” and how he “is losing his patience with me.” He even said that by always breaking the 1 month rule, its like “I’m wired to fuck up” or I just can’t seem to do anything right. Is he justified and I should wait the month and give up that school club forever?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 3, 2017 at 8:02 pm
check this one:
The Ungettable Girl
Christian
April 30, 2017 at 2:15 am
I dates my ex for 4 months. We got in a heated text exchange one day (I was unable to answer my phone) because I saw him flirting with a girl over instagram. He told me that it wasnt what I thought it was and was mad that I was even accusing him. Because I stood my ground he eventually said we were over because of my accusations. I did not beg or plead I just said ok. I did nc for around 35 days. He did not contact me either (he is extremely stubborn). My first intro text followed your guidelines “Hey did I just see you at such and such” to which he responded quickly and we both wished each other well. My second was about 5 days later of random updates with me to that which he responded to. A week later i was at a play and told him it reminded me of the play we went to. He texted me 5 short messages afterwards inquiring more but i had fallen asleep and just responded briefly in the morning saying I hoped he had a good night (he was out with friends). Where do I go from here? I can’t read how this is going or what my next step should be and I am still very insulted as to why he broke up with me when he was in the wrong. Should I continue to text randomly?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 30, 2017 at 12:45 pm
you need to initiate more than just once a week to build rapport.. Check this one:
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)
Kameshia
March 27, 2017 at 3:14 pm
My bf and I have known each other for 7 years and have dated on and off. We live toget her and dated consistently for 2 years. My fear of losing created mistakes such as me becoming needy, struggle to control my emotions, and trusting him. In turn created an unhealthy relationship. He cheated on me with his ex and broke up with me. He claims our relationship was unhealthy. He’s been in constant contact with ex, they’re in relationship, and my ex bf is in the process of moving out. So far I’ve been focusing on me and he notices that I’m more positive and happy. I want my ex back what can I do? Is there still a chance?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 28, 2017 at 5:19 pm
Hi Kameshia,
do you want to try the no contact rule?
Karen
March 4, 2017 at 10:33 am
Hello
I first met my boyfriend in early October, he dumped me in January, his reason was
-he felt uncomfortable
-not ready for a relationship
-he never loved me as more than just a close friend
-the good old it’s not you it’s me
I know it’s all complete BS, now I admit during our relationship I was a stage 5 clinger, whenever he didn’t text back immediately or took hours I went full GNAT on him and got angry, at first he found it cute but overtime he was tired of it and call it quits, he knew I was afraid of losing him.
There was no cheating or abuse though, general breakup
Immediately after the breakup I asked to meet him in person, he agreed and I did everything I know I shouldn’t have, I explained all the reasons why he wanted out, promised to change, begged pleaded cried, wrote a lengthy love note, all to no avail, he did offer friendship but I turned it down, he seemed upset and wasn’t sad at all
Anyway after that I found this website and did 21 day NC, during that NC I didn’t contact him at all but I did text his brother to know what he was doing, I told his brother to not tell him that I contact him, I don’t know if he kept his promise though..
After that 21 day NC was over, he didn’t contact me even once, I sent him a first contact text “you’re not going to believe who i just met” he replied quickly with who, I replied again with “do you remember that restaurant we went to during our christmas trip? I just ate there with a friend and saw brad Pitt there, so shocked hahaha” he only replied with “cool hahahaha”
A day later I sent him another text, this time it was the it reminds me of you one, again he replies with one word answer “hahahahaha”
The following day was where I messed up, not happy with his response I texted him “Why are you acting like this? I’m just trying to be friendly”
He didn’t reply…, I went full GNAT and sent him mean texts, he blocked me and called a mutual friend to ask me to stop pestering him
Should i give up? Why is he so mean to me if the breakup reason was just me being clingy, like there was no cheating and our relationship was very meaningful?
Karen
March 6, 2017 at 12:58 am
But isn’t it what Chris recommends in the “my girlfriend hasn’t contacted me” article on exgirlfriendrecovery.com?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 9, 2017 at 11:36 am
that’s because that’s what girls want.. It’s different with guys..
Karen
March 5, 2017 at 5:05 am
I’m thinking of having a message in a bottle delivered to his house…good idea?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 5, 2017 at 9:13 pm
That’s very sweet but too sweet. A friend wouldn’t do that.. That’s too forward for now.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 4, 2017 at 7:07 pm
Hi Karen,
21 days is short for someone who is clingy. And I think you need to restart it, do 45 days and don’t contact his brother. Just focus in improving yourself and in posting in social media. After that slowly build rapport. Don’t say you’re trying to be friendly, just be friendly.
Beachrose
February 25, 2017 at 7:35 am
Just contributing here a bit – re noticing “when to stop trying to get him back and move on.”
One thing I haven’t seen described here yet is: the guy who sounds charming, but really isn’t offering you anything. They want to get you to stay friends w/ them for their benefit: use you and/or your stuff, for little or nothing in return. They may sound romantic, but when you listen carefully, they’re just saying what they think you want to hear, in order to get something out of you – usually they want friends with benefits – all for them & offering you no obligation or commitment.
Don’t fall for it. Those kind of charmer will just waste your time and attention when you really should be moving on and staying available for a better guy.
Remember: was he supportive and generous w/ his time during the relationship w/ you before? Or was he belittling, verbally or physically abusive, disrespectful, lying, and/or neglected you? Don’t fall for the sweet talk. Guys are like tigers – they don’t just suddenly change their stripes when they get lonely. Those kind of guys are narcissists who will just waste more of your time to avoid being lonely or bored – until they meet a new girl. Then you’ll find out you were friend-zoned all that time.
So don’t be fooled buy exes who seem to tell you “almost” everything you’d want to hear – but make no real effort to follow through – like a ring, and treating you with respect.
Eich Gee
April 29, 2017 at 10:41 pm
Hello . Ive been with my ex bf for 2.5yrs but we broke up for some reason i cant really tell. Here’s what happened, we’re both raised in thailand, someone in his family died so he had to go back to thailand for 2 weeks, he got very upset because of what happened. He was not even able to file for his leave at work in the right process cus he had to leave right away.. When he came back here in US, i know he was still grieving so i just didnt care for the bad attitude he’s showing, the next day after he got back we had a huge fight. I ask him to take me to work and he did. Before i get off the car i was asking for a kiss like what he will usually do before goin to work but he acted like he doesnt wanna give me one. So then before i clock in to work i message him on messenger saying that i f*cking hate his attitude i called him b*tch and i said he’s an *sshole for treating me this way and he knows that i cant go to work if hes acting that way and then i wished for him to die. And he just replied “im done with you, let’s go separate ways” so i realized it was my fault. I went too far for all ive said, i then said sorry right away and went back home 3hrs before my shift ends to just beg for him because i know it was something serious. I started crying and pleading. I know he’s problematic about his job too, he almost got fired because of abandoning the job for 2 weeks so i know thats one of the factors why he’s very mad. And then that day too he told our family that we’re done and never getting me back because im such a bad person. He’s acting like he doesnt know me for 2.5yrs. I dunno. I just feel like im dead . At first i thought he only needed some time to think about stuff but Its now been 40days since he left. I begged him for 8straight days and gives the same answer that he’s tired of me and i have to move on. I decided to leave the house 8days after our fight because i know to myself that he’s decided about all these and me begging and pleading so many times isnt gonna do any good but will just push him away even farther. But why would he get my name tattooed in his arm 4days before the big fight? I know he loves me but everyone that i told my story to has been saying that there’s something bigger problem than my attitude.. there’s prolly 3rd party or stuff like that. im confused. He unfollow me on ig but still friends on fb. He seems to be moving on now with his life while i wanna isolate myself bcos i dont want him to see that im enjoying life without him. Im very hurt. Every single day im feeling like sh*t. I cant accept the fact that he’s never coming back. Im indenial. We we’re planning to get married on october but i guess its not happening anymore. Last time i texted him was 23days ago. He’s very cold like what i expected..called him 27 times no answer so i texted him im not going to force him this time and just wanted to hear how he was. he replied 2 hours after..saying he’s fine. I brought up about our relationship he said he doesnt wanna think about that stuff right now he’s giving his 100% to his job because he just got back at it so i said ok i understand, and since then i never bother him again. People be telling me to move on and they’re convinced that he’s never coming back but i dont know him like this. Before, he will just hug and kiss once i say sorry but i cant accept that this time is different. He wants me to change and i cant just do that. I mean if he really loves me he will accept who/how i am.. but i think he had enough of my bad attitude. And i take all the blame for what happened and promised to change myself just to make him stay.I still love him though. Im feeling the same amount of pain everyday. Im trying my best to move forward but its just not that easy and i didnt see this coming. We were so much inlove to one another. I cant unlove him that easy. I still want him back so bad eventhough im so hurt. I checked his fb just now. He posted pictures with other girls and his cousin, he seems to be enjoying it already. Please give me good advice. Thanks for reading.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 30, 2017 at 12:35 pm
Hi Eich,
even if you didn’t text him for weeks now, if it was not focused in improving yourself, healing and being active in posting, that’s not a no contact period. Do that first.
Ruthie
April 18, 2017 at 8:34 am
It sounds like my situation.A guy will make you feel better for a few weeks broke up with you then contact you when he’s bored. Then abuse you verbally and physically it drains all your energy you can’t stop thinking about him why why why? But I think chauvinist and narcissist that’s what I describe it. At first, he will tell you wants to build a family future with you but at the end you start sleeping with him things changed like oh I’m still in love with my ex oh I’m not ready it’s too soon I want to have some fun blah blah blah it’s better to hang them in the air for few months to see their real motive or you will end up heartbroken no compassion.
HS
February 19, 2017 at 6:00 am
Hi Amor,
My ex broke up with me because of his parents. I decided to stop talking to him because I felt that he should have taken a stand for our relationship. It has been a year. He would always call me or email me because I blocked him on WhatsApp. It was really hurting to be in contact with him, but I always asnwered his calls. He would email me that his work went well after talking to me and how I am his lucky charm. Recently we started chating on WhatsApp again. It was going fine when I asked him what’s next in store. Since his parents were the reason we broke up , I just wanted to know what his next plan is. Because we are both 28 years old and I wish to get married. He clearly told me that he cannot talk to his parents about us again and we cannot get married. Furious to hear that I told him that the best thing for us is to just let each other live happily and broke up with him. I blocked him on WhatsApp again. It has been a week. Today, I just thought to check what is he upto so unblocked him on whatsapp. I didn’t intend to text him at all. But I noticed that he has deleted my contact number from his phone. Also he has deleted me on Snapchat. We ain’t friends on FB or Instagram for almost a year. He has never done that before. I didn’t know what went wrong so nervous I called him up. He answered and we spoke for a bit when I finally asked him if he was mad at me. He said he can never be mad at me. To which I asked him the reason for deleting my number and removing me on Snapchat. He said that “you took the decision of never being in touch if we can’t get married. I am honoring that request. I cannot marry you because I don’t have the guts to convince my parents. I want you to move on and allow me to move on too” he then hung up saying he will call back in a while. But he didn’t. Turns out that this time he just won’t contact me. Should I just move on? How will he know that I am changing ? Except for the whole marriage thing, he never had any issues with me. A few insecurities that I had, but we always work on that.
I really love him a lot and it’s so hard to see that he has removed me on social media. He would generally contact me in a week’s time but this time he hasn’t. Does this mean the end?
HS
February 24, 2017 at 6:46 am
I decided to go NC and move on in life. first 5 days were really difficult. 7th day was worse because I thought he would call as usual but no he did not. 10th day I realised it’s high time.
I had been writing everything negative about the whole relationship and then throwing it in the dustbin. That was really helping me move on.
Suddenly last night i received a text from him saying that he was leaving my country to go back to US (he was here for a short trip to meet his family). I did not respond. I don’t want to respond to anything. I feel really bad. why do you leave someone when you can’t do without them. No more letting him ruin my state of mind. Done and dusted.
Thanks a lot for hearing me through this. Best wishes to your entire team.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 24, 2017 at 3:43 pm
Thank you too HS, we wish the best for you too.
HS
February 21, 2017 at 12:31 pm
Do you help with moving on? Because I am extremely broken
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 21, 2017 at 11:38 pm
Actually the nc is the same process you do for moving on, you just won’t reach out. You just keep moving on, building a new routine, doing new things and making new friends, getting the balance back in your life and making it a whole lot better. Check the links below:
What To Do When Things With Your Ex Don’t Go According To Plan (With Christine Hassler)
Getting Over Your Ex And Learning From The Past Without Getting Trapped In It
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 20, 2017 at 7:12 pm
Hi HS,
I think you need to move on.. It’s not about you changing.. He’s decided that he will not marry you.
safana
February 18, 2017 at 10:14 pm
ive been doin NC rules for 11 days, but 2 month later will be his birthday, should i give him birthday wishes?, and if i shouldnt to ,how if he text me and asking why? (should i answer his text? if it yes what should i say?), and if he doesnt text me what should i do? keep NC?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 20, 2017 at 6:42 pm
Hi Safana,
that’s two months later, most of the time we only recommend up to 45 days.. why did you break up?
Confused
February 14, 2017 at 2:41 am
How do I handle the situation if me and my ex broke up (a month ago) because “it’s not a good time in his life for a girlfriend”, we’re long distance (kinda.. its not that far), and he needs to focus on college … but i am 100% sure he still loves me and he misses me.. because he told me. Even if i do NC and the other ideas.. is that going to change anything? We had a very fun and happy relationship.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 14, 2017 at 7:33 pm
Hi Confused,
if it’s not going to change anything, are you going to move on? Because if you don’t want to move on, that’s the better option than to keep now and continue being friendzoned
Sophie
February 11, 2017 at 12:57 pm
Hi I broke up with my ex two years ago next month we were together for two years but have known each other for 10+ years. during our relationship we lived together and spent every day together we were inseparable and perfect together until he started messaging and texting other girls which gave me the worse anxiety and made me message call and text him thousands of times until he would have to block me on all social media so I could get in contact him him. Equally we have both contacted each other in this time and have pretty much been in constant contact for the last year. All we seem to do is argue cause he will ignore me for 2/3 days but if I message back 1 hour later he will tell me not to bother speaking to him again. He says he wishes er got together younger or meet in years to come. I love him so much and would love to get back with him but have told him that I will only give him another chance/date if he promises not to hurt me or be involved with other girls as this is the reason we broke up. He didn’t physically cheat but was in contact with other women. He is a professional sportsman so has many women throwing themselves at him many which are better looking than me but he knows and admits that no other woman has been as loyal as me to him. On New Years days he blocked me on all social media and told me he didn’t wish to speak to me again. 1 week later he messaged me to say he had seen me driving and I didn’t reply he then replied to say he had been thinking and wanted to see me if I promised not to be crazy and mad at him for one day as I give him anxiety. He asked me to go to a concert with him so I booked the day off work and I seen on social media (stalking) that he took another women. This broke me gave me anxiety for 5 days and I wasn’t able to eat or stop crying. Did I have any right going mad at him as he isn’t my boyfriend and he doesn’t have any loyalties to me. Does he love me or is he using me? I really need help
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 13, 2017 at 2:00 pm
Hi Sophie,
he hurt you, that’s normal that you would be angry.. Whether he’s using you or not, for me, you should move on..
Aine
February 6, 2017 at 4:11 am
Hello,
I have been with my ex bf for almost 2 years. We had our ups and downs. Then he got depressed and never let me know about it. He would just disappear and would not return my texts or calls. In couple of days he would eventually respond. In September 2017 we broke up. We both cried. He wanted the breakup; I wasn`t. I gave him some time and then tried to bring him back. I apologized for my words and behavior. He refused. He stated that he did not want to commit to anyone right now. I left him alone. Later I contacted him to let him know that it was extremely hard for me to be apart from him. He said that he wanted to be left alone and if I wanted to I could date again. I know i was clingy and desperate. It has been over a month with no contact. I miss him a lot. I do not know what to do. I do not think there is a chance we will be together….
Aine
February 7, 2017 at 6:16 pm
I did not post anything on social media regarding breakup. I really hate to put my personal life there. Plus he wouldn`t like it as well. I read couple of the article how to improve yourself and grow up as a woman. I admitted all of my mistakes in the relationship. I know where I went wrong. I did improve some other sides of me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2017 at 11:51 pm
Thats good that you didn’t post anything about the break up..but did you post your activities? If he sees your posts would he regret not having you? Does it look like you’ve moved on or at least trying to? You have to aim to be the ungettable girl..click this:
The Ungettable Girl
if you didn’t, restart 30 days and improve massively and do that..especially that he thinks your clingy. He probably expects you to chase..
Aine
February 6, 2017 at 9:30 pm
Helo Amor.
I did not contact him at all. I let him be
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2017 at 6:04 pm
that’s good..we’re you active in improving yourself? How much did you chanhe and were you active in posting in social media?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 6, 2017 at 2:18 pm
Hi Aine,
how active were you in the past month?