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Charlotte
May 14, 2017 at 5:23 am
Hi Amor
My ex and I ended on bad terms, he asked not to keep in touch because he wanted to focus on his new relationship and did not want to hurt his new girlfriend. We did not talk for 10 months and I reached out to him several times during that period but he never responded. Last month, I tried again and he finally messaged me back and we have been texting since. I try really hard not to talk about intimate topics but failed. He is ignoring my flirtatious messages. Do you think I have made him uncomfortable? Should I apologize for overstepping the friendship boundary? I care for him a lot and do not want to lose him. I rather be friends with him than not having him in my life. Should I tell him how I feel?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 14, 2017 at 4:35 pm
you’d rather be friends than lose him? that’s probably one of the reasons why it’s not progressing.. because that mindset makes you desperate to have him stay in your life.. so, more likely you will really be friendzoned because a guy is not attracted to a very clingy girl..Either you do a proper one last nc, and take it slow in building rapport after while you continue to improve yourself and date too or you move on.. because if you just want to be friends, then yes, confess what you feel..so, that at least, you can accept whatever his reaction will be then just be friendly after that to continue being just friends.
Amy
May 12, 2017 at 11:02 am
Hi had been dating a man for almost nine months now. One time i caught him texting with his ex. Nothing sexual but i felt betrayed and asked to break up. He begged me to give him a last chance, he cried so much. I forgave him but the betrayal was hard on me so i we fought pretty much all the time and i reminded him of that incident. We stayed together, but for the past three months we were arguing even more. My boyfriend asked for space. He said do not call me unless i do, do not text unless i do and do not come to my house. He texted everyday to ask how i was and i tried to respect all this for a while but i felt emotionally drained as he kept his responses very cold. I decided to try the no contact rule but i failed terribly. I drunk called him, we got into a fight and we exchanged insults, but i was really bad on him. I even showed up to his house and exchanged more bad words. After the fight i really apologized and tried to show him what a good girl i have been, he agreed and says he knows i am a good person and he also recognises i put alot of effort in the relationship but he said he can not be with me because i disrespected him. he said had enough and decided to break up with me. Like any other stupid girl, i went pretty hysterical and begged him to give a chance one more month. He said okay he will give us a chance. While we were talking i also asked him if i should take my stuff from his house he said no. I left the house and since then we have not talked. On Sunday was his birthday i sent him a very short birthday note and he responded thanks. After that i went into the no contact rule because i needed heeling my self and hope that he might want me back. My sister called him (totally unrelated issue) and he picked up and spoke well. But it feels like he has moved on. He is now on a business trip do i have any chances to get him back?!
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 12, 2017 at 7:48 pm
Try the no contact rule, it will help increase your chances if you do it the right way.. Do at least 30 days..Aim to be an ungettable girl.. check this one:
The Ungettable Girl
Lynette
May 8, 2017 at 2:45 pm
Good morning,
I am having a difficult time…my guy friend and I met a little over two years ago. We hit it off instantly and had great chemistry. We can talk about anything, we have fun, we respect one another (even when having difficult conversations) and overall, things were great. He did tell me that he did not want to be in a serious relationship after about 3 months in. I did not stick around long after that, we did not communicate for about 7 months. He contacted me after that period saying that he had missed me and we ended up back involved…I know it was not smart of me. Fast forward to now…I am the person he calls to share his deepest secrets and dreams/visions with. We always have fun when were are together. He told me that I am one of the only people that he can trust in his life. He was starting his business when we first met and he told me that one of the main reasons he did not want a relationship then was because all of them had broken up because of how much time he devoted to the business. Over the last 3-4 months, we have spent lots of time together (he said he wanted to do better), but he still does not know if he want to be in a committed relationship right now. We talk every day or every other day…and the conversations last for hours. He told me that I am the only woman that he spends time with and talks to like that. On Friday, I asked him to meet up so that we can talk. He told me he knew something was wrong and that he was sad about the conversation. I asked him if he saw a future with me and he got all sad and said that he is in a dark place in his life and he could not see a future with anyone. I did not get upset, we talked for a few hours and I told him that I accept and love him for who he is, but that I have to make better decisions that align with my future goals…so it was time for me to move on. He told me that he understood and respected my decision…but wished I would wait. He sent me a text last night, asking me to send him a name of something that he had sent a while back…I did not respond…I feel horrible though. We have been so good to one another, the only thing that was the issue was the commitment. Does it seem childish for me to be doing NC?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 11, 2017 at 3:49 pm
Nope..that’s the better approach than to keep being in the friendzone
Bonjour
May 6, 2017 at 10:19 pm
Hello ! My ex’s grand-father was dying when he broke up with me 2 days ago. I know my ex will text me when he dies. Should I answer a quick “sorry to hear that. Take care of you and your family” if Im in NC période ? Il know it is very émotional for him, so I think it would be rude to not say anything…
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 7, 2017 at 3:13 pm
yeah, that’s ok..
nomusa
May 4, 2017 at 6:06 pm
hi m n my bofrnd had been dating on n off for 7 years, n we broke late last year bt we were still talking since we hve a child together n I started doing a nc rule n it did worked bt he still does wat he used to do n am thinking of ending this relationship fr gud …can I restart the nc rule or just forget about him?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 5, 2017 at 4:13 pm
if you want to restart to try it for the last time, that’s ok…
Paula
May 2, 2017 at 7:54 am
I have texted my ex-boyfriend after 13 days asking him not to contact me unless he changes his mind. At the break-up he was really desiring of us staying friends. Telling him that I do not hate him and If we happen to meet on the street we can say and ask about accomplishments each have made. But not to contact me as a friend anymore and I wish him all the best. Does this count as breaking the NC? He never texted me since I started IT. But I felt like we can not think we are friends nor strangers. If we happrlen to meet on the street, for example. He broke up with me. No one cheated. He said he does not want a wife, ever, I am not The One anyway, so se should break up, which made me think I was used as a toy (at the break-up I confronted him about this and he admitted that its his lack of confidence in himself to keep me happy long-term that made him let me go)
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 2, 2017 at 7:09 pm
yup, you have to restart it.
Steph
May 1, 2017 at 11:40 pm
My bf of 8 years broke up with me in the most hurtful way. We were dating long-distance until last year when I moved in with him. We had plans to move back to my hometown and settle there. I drove out first and he said he would be out in a week. He never came. He changed his number, told everyone he knew to block me, and cut me out of his life. I tried writing emails to him for a few days afterwards but received no response so I went NC. It’s been a week and it’s killing me. I’m hurt beyond words for what he did. I don’t know if NC will work in my situation. He lives out of state and completely cut me off. Is there any hope?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 2, 2017 at 6:51 pm
check this one:
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Ghosted You
Kira
April 29, 2017 at 9:51 pm
We have been together four months, He started getting stressed about money about two weeks ago. We have literally had one small argument, one week ago. He asked for space 3 days ago, a break, that looks like broke up were his words. it was perfect, and this was out of nowhere. i started nc immeadiately never begged never gnatted. What now?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 30, 2017 at 12:34 pm
do you live together? If not, start improving yourself and be active in posting…
Joy
April 26, 2017 at 9:21 am
Hi there,
I was doing NC up until the 25th day. I decided to break NC because he was posting things publicly on a website that were about our relationship and so I emailed him to ask him to remove parts. I wasn’t rude in the email but more factual and to the point. I made no attempt to get him back in the email. Should I start NC again?
Joy
April 26, 2017 at 9:24 am
Also since then I have had one positive communication from him. He has said sorry and wants to talk. I’m not sure if I’m ready.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 29, 2017 at 10:13 pm
if it’s to save your dignity, no you didn’t break nc. Especially if you did it in a civil way.
ursula
April 26, 2017 at 5:38 am
I did 30 Day NC two months ago and after that i have tried slowly rebuild rapport without success. Last week I found out that another girl asked him for a date and theee is something going on between those two. I don’t knowbcan I get him back anmore… I didn’t behave so nicely and I told him a few days ago I still like him a lot but I noticed that the situation was really uncomfortable for him. After that I have tried to text him three days in row and no reply. I don’t know what to do. I thought about the second no contact period. Is it possible? Does it work it out?
I don’t know if i did a mistake by telling him I still like him a lot. (we were dating last year six months and he broke up with him in November).
Thanks for all help
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 29, 2017 at 10:12 pm
For me, after all those, you should move on.
Anne
April 21, 2017 at 8:18 pm
Hi!
My ex broke up with me in the end of November mainly because I was too insecure. We used to live together. After this I went to my mother’s house and we spent two weeks of no contact. Then I had to come back home, but I would always sleep in my sister’s house. By this time we started talking again as friends. Many times in a flirtatious way. He left home in the beginning of February and then I came back home for good (I live in the apartment now). After a few days I asked him for us to be together again and he said no, cause he waited two months for me to say something and I didn’t. But I didn’t know! He said things were different now. After that he called me drunk a few times to say how much he misses me and that he’s confused about his feelings. He even asked me back once but then changed his mind when he was sober. That was in the end of February. After that we made out a couple times, when he would call me drunk in the middle of the night telling me all that stuff. Last time he called this way (and I allowed him to come home to sleep over) was in the begging of April. But every time I let him know how I feel about us he says he doesn’t want it anymore. He still calls me eventually or sends messages just to know how I am. Even finds excuses to talk to me sometimes. Gave me chocolate for Easter (a tradition in Brazil). Do I still have a chance to get him back? What should I do? It’s been almost five months! Please please help!
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 27, 2017 at 10:25 am
But you’re not living together now right? Restart the no contact rule.. Do the 30 days properly.. And slowly build rapport after
Mina
April 17, 2017 at 12:43 pm
Hi ! I’m a very jealous and often angry girl, our relationship as been a bumpy ride for 4 years now. I kept nagging him to come with me see my parents and when I arrived at my parents (without him, he was at his parent’s house) I texted him angrily that he had let me down not wantinga to be wth me for at least half the time we were in our hometown. It was on monday, he hasn’t texted me in a week. This morning I received a text saying “we can’t be together anymore, I’m leaving you. I still love you, but I know you will never change and I can’t be with someone who’s jealous and angry, it will make me unhappy”. I texted him that I understood, that no one could bear that, with no tears and no begging. Just that. Since we haven’t been talking to each other for a week (he usually is very affectionate and textes a lot even after 4 years of relationship), which is pretty much a shorter version of no contact rule, I don’t see myself having more no contact for the week ahead… and we’re going back to our house by train on friday (so we’ll be sitting to eachother on the train). I want to change, I want to prove him I can work on myself, but he thinks he’s given me too many chances already… I am so desperate, we still love each other but I never changed and here we are….
Stephanie
April 4, 2017 at 4:13 pm
My bf and I recently broke up (his decision) but unfortunately we have to live together for a few months until our lease is up.
How can keep the no contact rule when there things that we need to discuss such us rent, bills and chores ? He has also mentioned that he wants us to be friends – so from his part his is very chatty which makes it even harder to ignore.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 5, 2017 at 3:02 pm
Hi Stephanie,
follow this one:
EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend
Sam
April 4, 2017 at 4:37 am
Hi,
My boyfriend and i have been together for 6 years. We got in a Bad fight one time and i started talking to this other dude. Nothing hsppened w him, my ex found out, we talked it out, and i thought it was ok. Months later and now the third instance, i have found conversations with him and other girls . These are just random girls he meets on facebook so he doesnt ever meet up with them. Besides that, things have been good with us and its has been fun with him and i enjoy his company. He loves me very much and i love him obviously. We have talked about marriage and kids before. We have talked about him going behind my back and me going behind his and all of the fighting we were doing, only recently, and decided we need space and time without the title rightnow. I agree with that. I am interested in doing nc and want him to realize how much he misses me and what the good memories were so that we can let that grow. Do you think it is worth/has some rates of success in doing it with an ex who was a cheater.? He still talks to me but doesnt text me until 6-7pm, sometimes even 10pm. When i found one conversation, he was very genuinely apologetic. Before i knew what nc was, i took him back without forgiving him completely and that backfired, allowing us to fight more. Our fighting was wearing us out and we decided space would be best. What do you recommend at this time and do you think it would have some success rate?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 4, 2017 at 5:45 pm
Hi Sam,
check this one:
He Cheated On You And You Want Him Back… What Do You Do?
Jezzelle
March 25, 2017 at 6:26 am
Hi amor
I’ve been doing nc for 2 weeks now & he did texted me on the 2nd day of my nc continuing text until the fourt day then he stop. I did follow ur advise to ignore him everything so now he just kept silent but still posting on whatsapp group about him is having fun with my others mutual friends.
So apparently next week is his birthday should i make exceptions for nc just to wish him with short & simple text or just continuing ignore him?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 26, 2017 at 1:07 pm
Hi Jezzelle,
check this one:
EBR 057: Birthdays And The No Contact Rule
Ashley johnson
March 24, 2017 at 4:31 pm
Hi my boyfriend and I have been together for two years, but he asked for a “break” to see if he misses me and basically to discover if he still is in love with me. Would going no contact work in this situation? The break doesn’t have a definite amount of time, but we both agreed not to see anybody else and that it’s supposed to be time apart to come back “fresh” and “recharge” but he isn’t sure it’ll work
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 26, 2017 at 11:26 am
Hi Ashley,
check this one:
How Do I Prevent My Boyfriend From Ending Our Relationship
Bea
March 16, 2017 at 2:30 pm
Hi,
my boyfriend and I broke up almost a month ago. I noticed some distant behaviour from him and asked him what was going on. He said he doesn’t feel what he felt before. He took a break from me for a month a half in November because I was getting annoyed and upset often for no big reason. Later in December my doctor found out I have hormonal imbalance and I needed to get of the pill. I felt immediately better and my boyfriend came back to me. But something broke inside him and although he cares about me very much he didn’t feel the same anyway. We were together over a year and it was the best relationship I have ever had. He is a very nice guy, caring, loving and we had so much fun together.
So we broke up almost a month ago and then had a flight together 5 days later (we’re both flight attendants). At the end of the trip we went out, drank and had sex. I considered it the break up sex and then after reaching our base we talked, hugged and our ways separated. Few days later he texted me to wish me luck on my exams for renewing the flying license and then he even asked me how it went 2 days later. I guess he felt guilty leaving me right before such an important exam or maybe he genuinely cared. Since then we haven’t talked. I wouldn’t text him. So the NC period is going on for almost 3 weeks now. His life seems to go on. He posts on fb more that usually and a few days back I saw a picture of him with a group of people including a girl he just met on a flight. That made me really sad and angry and in order to move on I deactivated my fb for some time. So here’s my question. How long should I wait with the initial text? I’m afraid he’s moving on but I’m not healed yet. I know I should probably activate my fb again and make him see I’m all right and having fun, which I’m trying to do.
Thank you all.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 16, 2017 at 6:23 pm
Hi Bea,
yes, you have to actively improve yourself and post in social media.. if you didn’t do that, restart the count of nc and then you initiate a text after that..
Amanda
March 11, 2017 at 8:55 pm
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a bit. He is 18 years older than me with a four year old daughter. I used to be her teacher and that’s how we met. About six months in he drove by my house and my ex boyfriends truck was there he was over helping my dad with stuff while I was there and my ex got upset thinking I cheated on him. I get it how it looked.
We had been fighting a lot in our relationship over his ex wife because I was insecure. Last week I was upset because I didn’t think we were going anywhere we were serious and I was tired of living out of a bag wanting to move in so he said take some time decide what I want. I took two days on the second day he ended it with me. I begged for him back he made a decision on Monday saying he couldn’t do it. He didn’t trust me or my phone because last week he had asked to see my phone and I ran around the kitchen with it. He thinks I deleted something but I didn’t like the way he attacked me like that. I called him this Wednesday crying saying I couldn’t do this without him I missed him and loved him so much. He said ” dear just keep busy for now” and that there was a wall between us right now because he needs time. He said if this is ever gonna work he needs space and to give him space. I have no idea what to do. I love him. He is my soulmate. I can’t loose him
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 14, 2017 at 4:32 pm
Hi Amanda,
if he thinks you cheated, approach it like the advice in the link below:
Fix Your Relationship If You Cheated On Your Ex Boyfriend Before Its Too Late (Video)
Amanda
March 11, 2017 at 8:53 pm
How long should I wait to give my ex space ?
We broke up Monday
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 14, 2017 at 4:32 pm
Hi Amanda,
if he thinks you cheated, approach it like the advice in the link below:
Fix Your Relationship If You Cheated On Your Ex Boyfriend Before Its Too Late (Video)
Amanda
March 10, 2017 at 11:04 pm
How long do I wait to give my ex space?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 14, 2017 at 4:32 pm
Hi Amanda,
if he thinks you cheated, approach it like the advice in the link below:
Fix Your Relationship If You Cheated On Your Ex Boyfriend Before Its Too Late (Video)