I figured we would switch gears for this particular podcast episode and answer one of the most asked questions that I get, almost on a daily basis and that is why does my ex view my Snapchat and Instagram stories?

So in this particular episode I’m going to answer many different questions.

  • How often do exes watch via social media after a breakup?
  • Does it mean anything when they view your Snapchat and Instagram stories?
  • When it does mean something.
  • the reasons for why an ex will view your Snapchat and Instagram stories.
  • And finally how you should be using Snapchat and Instagram throughout the process that we’ve created?

But before we actually start worrying about social media and how to handle it and what it means and if it means something, you need to figure out a starting point with how to handle your breakup. Right?

The Right Starting Point For You After A Breakup

Breakups can make us feel many different things.

Some people want to get their exes back immediately. Some people don’t want anything to do with their exes. If you’re in that sort of crossroads, I’ve got great news for you. I’ve put together a special resource, a quiz designed to tell you what kind of chance you have of getting your ex back. So you can make a determination on if you should be trying to get them back or if you should be trying to move on if that’s what you want to do.

There’s nothing worse, believe me, than wasting your time trying to get an ex back.

So take the quiz on my website to help determine what you should be doing and it will give you the best next steps for how to approach your particular situation.

Now, there’s many different ways to find out how to take the quiz.

If you’re actually reading the show notes of this episode, I will literally link the quiz in the show notes.

It’s pretty simple, you just click a button on your mouse or on your phone. If you’re listening to this on iTunes or Stitcher or any other podcast place, all you’re going to have to do if you want to go take our quiz is go to our homepage, go to our website, www.exboyfriendrecovery.com.

And if you’re watching this on YouTube because I’ve now started uploading these videos or these podcast episodes into YouTube, all you’re going to have to do is look in the description link below the YouTube video and click on it.

With that out of way, let’s start talking about why exes view Snapchat and Instagram stories.

And probably the easiest or best way to approach this situation is by tackling the question, how often do exes watch you via all social media platforms after a breakup?

How Often Will Exes Watch You Via All Social Media Platforms?

And contrary to popular belief, it’s actually the social norm.

I’ve done research on this with my own clients and research backs me up. There was actually one very, very fascinating study done by a graduate student that found that over 88% of people after a breakup will Facebook stalk their exes.

Now, Facebook stalking is not so much a thing anymore because there’s so many privacy features on Facebook nowadays. But what’s important is the intent of the behavior. There’s a need, an inherent obsessive, addictive quality to watching what your ex is up to via social media, spying on your ex via social media, and before you sit there and think, well, my ex blocked me. Well my ex wouldn’t care about things like that.

I can personally attest to so many stories I’ve heard of exes going to mutual friends and using their social media profiles to spy on what you’re up to.

So, and it also really makes sense when you’re looking at it from the lens of viewing Snapchat and Instagram stories. If your ex hasn’t blocked you or unfollowed you, then your stories are more likely to show up in his feed. And if that happens, it’s only natural for him to want to watch it. I mean, I would. So this is actually why so many exes will block or unfollow you to begin with.

They can’t stand the constant reminders of your presence. So they actually sit there and block you to A, stop thinking about you, and stop feeling the pain that is associated with the breakup. So it’s important to understand that this social norm, it’s normal, but does it mean anything? And if so, what does it mean?

Does An Ex Viewing Your Snapchat And Instagram Stories Mean Anything?

So in my opinion, it doesn’t really mean much.

You can quote it, you can put that in bold lettering.

“In my opinion, nine times out of ten it doesn’t mean much.”

There is one singular exception when you’re looking at Snapchat and Instagram stories. But before I talk about that, let’s talk about why I believe it doesn’t mean too much. People read way too much into this and it doesn’t always have to mean something. So I always view an ex watching your Snapchat or Instagram stories as normal behavior, since it is a normal behavior.

So the only difference with Snapchat and Instagram is that it gives you the ability to directly see who’s viewing your stories. Right? This isn’t really possible with a website or app like Facebook or Twitter. Maybe there is, Twitter. I’m not really sure. I’m not real well versed in Twitter. I don’t know how many people really use Twitter for dating. I mean, I’m sure it exists, but most times they won’t let you see who’s watching your stories or your feeds or your post or viewing your profile. This isn’t LinkedIn, right?

So what’s interesting about it is because Snapchat and Instagram gives you the ability to view someone’s stories and make them aware of that fact, it’s getting a light shone onto it.

And it sort of creates all of these questions on if it means something and what does it mean? But ultimately it’s just a difference of visibility, right? The normal behavior we know, close to 90% of people will spy on their exes after a breakup.

They have many different ways of doing this.

Some people use Snapchat and Instagram, some people use Facebook, some people use any other dating apps or WhatsApp or things that they’re sort of looking at after the breakup. Or was the norm throughout their relationship.

But when you take that behavior, the only difference between Snapchat and Instagram and a website like Facebook or an app like Facebook is that it just gives you visibility on who’s spying on you. Right? Facebook doesn’t do that.

So I mean your ex could be spying on you through Facebook just as much, but since it doesn’t give you the ability to see if they’re spying on you or not, you would never know. But Snapchat and Instagram does. So obsessing too much about the meaning of what I consider to be a normal behavior can lead you to look extremely insecure and desperate.

Don’t be the girl that asks your ex, “Hey, why did you view my story?” It almost proves to them that you’re thinking about them and you ultimately lose your value. And I actually have a personal story to share with this.

My Embarrassing Personal Story

So when I grew up, Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, they weren’t really in existence. They didn’t exist. The big social media platform that everyone used was Myspace, which isn’t even a thing anymore. But Myspace was famous for having these profiles that you could create much like Facebook, but anytime you would go onto someone’s profile, you could also have music accompanying that profile, right.

And so when I was a high schooler, right, I wasn’t really savvy with the normal dating behaviors of today and didn’t sort of grow into the human being that I am right now. I would obsess about this anytime I would like a girl. Right. So I remember there was this one specific girl who was named Dani, right? D-A-N-I, right. She was this very, very beautiful blonde girl. And I had a huge crush on her, right. And her brother and my brother were both friends. They were both younger brothers for both of us.

And my brother one day came home from their house and said,

“Hey, so-and-so’s sister said that you look hot.”

It was the first time a girl had ever called me hot and I just, it blew my mind. So immediately I friended her on Myspace and just started sort of chatting back and forth. And what was fascinating about this was I became so addicted and obsessed about trying to win this girl that I would obsess about everything that she was posting on her wall, everything that she was posting, even from music. And I remember one specific thing.

When her and I first started talking, I was so obsessed and maybe so insecure because I had never had a girlfriend in my entire life. She ended up, like a day or two after we started talking, she ended up changing her music accompanying her Myspace profile to the Red Hot Chili Peppers song and Dani California.

Well, I took this to mean, oh my God, it has to mean something about me when in reality her name is Dani and the song is called Danny California. And she looked just sort of like some California model would. Right?

And so it made me, when I actually started approaching her about it, I said, “Hey, but you changed your music. It has to mean something related to me.”

She never talked to me again ever. I mean, that was it. Super embarrassing. So here’s my point. Don’t be that girl to your ex. You lose your value completely. Now I did mention something about, well there’s one specific situation or scenario where it does mean something if your ex is viewing your Snapchat and Instagram stories, and I’d like to talk a little bit about what that situation is.

The One Exception Where An Ex Viewing Your Snapchat Or Instagram Stories Means Something

In my opinion, the only exception when I think an ex viewing your Snapchat or Instagram stories means something is if they watch every single story that you put out over the course of like a month. Right?

But I don’t think this says anything about them, like they have to have you back.

I think it says more about their addictive nature and ability to obsess about what you’re up to.

In essence, you’re winning the breakup if they’re obsessing so much that they’re watching every single thing that you put out. So now that we kind of understand, well okay, it means a little something.

They’re sort of obsessed with thinking about you, they haven’t gotten over the breakup yet. I think that’s ultimately what it says. Now that we know that, what are some of the reasons exes will view your Snapchat and Instagram stories?

Legitimate Reasons Exes View Your Snapchat Or Instagram Stories

In my opinion there’s three reasons exes will view your stories on social media.

  1. Curiosity
  2. Anger
  3. Habit

Let’s look at all three of those reasons and dig deeper.

Curiosity

The first one I think is pretty self explanatory. They’re curious. Curiosity, right? It’s sort of like you go through this breakup, you’ve poured your heart and soul into maybe this relationship and you’re just kind of curious to see what they’re up to. Even I, now, even my wife gets curious about what her ex is up to.

And I remember the other day I was thinking, I wonder what my old ex is up to. And of course I had blocked her and she still remains block to this point, but every once in awhile I kind of wonder what she’s up to. If she got married, if she has any kids like I did. I’d want the best for her.

I’m just a nice guy like that. My wife kind of thinks about that sometimes. How can you not? I think it’s human nature to be curious about something like this, but it’s not the only reason for why exes will view your Snapchat and Instagram stories.

Anger

The second reason is anger. Have you ever been so angry? There’s like this, when you’re obsessed and addicted to watching someone’s Snapchat and Instagram stories, you’re almost as obsessed to the feeling of anger. As weird as this sounds, some men will literally get into the habit of watching her Snapchat and Instagram stories because it makes them angry and they like to feel like they have the moral high ground, right?

I can’t tell you how often I’ve heard exes say something when they’re at complete fault for the breakup. But they like to paint themselves as the victim because their ex made them feel this certain way, and it’s their fault and they kind of like to get sort of angry.

They like to be angry for the sake of being angry.

I can also attest to doing this. There was a breakup I had where I literally would watch their posts on Facebook and get angry just because. Not sure I even have a reason or can even peel back the layers. Is that a healthy thing to do? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. But it’s also not the only reason for why an ex will view your Snapchat or Instagram stories.

Habit

There’s a third reason and that’s habit. Let’s say that you’ve opened up a Snapchat, Instagram story two or three times, right? And that curiosity just kind of keeps you coming back for more and more and more. Next thing you know, you’ve gotten into the habit of watching their stories because you can’t stop the habit essentially.

In my opinion, those are the main reasons for why exes will view your Snapchat and or Instagram stories, but how should you be using Snapchat and Instagram? Where does social media stuff like this fall in the overall process that I and my team have created? Should I say my team and I, that’s a better way of putting it. Makes me sound less important, which I like.

How Should You Be Using Your Snapchat And Instagram Stories After A Breakup?

So if you didn’t know, we are really, really trying to push this new way of looking at things. Right? And that’s always using the no contact rule. If you don’t know what the no contact rule is, hop by our website and read articles about it. Or if you bought a product or did a coaching session with me or one of my coaches, you should know what the no contact rule is. But essentially there’s three phases throughout the sort of get your ex back, or get over your ex process.

That’s before the no contact rule, during the no contact rule, and after the no contact rule. So where does social media fall or Snapchat and Instagram fall throughout the process, the overall process that we are famous for creating?

Well it’s going to fall in two areas: during no contact and after no contact.

Right?

So you should be using social media like Snapchat and Instagram stories in a specific way during the no contact rule and after the no contact rule. So the obvious next question is, well, what is that way?

How should you be using Snapchat and Instagram stories? Well, I want you to use it as a way of determining if your ex is keeping tabs on you. Think of the technology that Snapchat and Instagram has created as a scientist would. You can perform different experiments to see what types of things your ex is watching.

You can chart them and then do more to get his addictive side working. Right. This is especially important for people who want to get their exes back, who want to stay relevant during a no contact rule when they’re so worried of an ex not remembering who they are. Which is an irrational fear to begin with because you just went through a breakup and you’re doing a no contact rule. They’re not going to forget you in 30 days. Right.

But if you’re worried, one way that you can sort of stay in touch with them indirectly is by using Snapchat and Instagram and posting stories, just to see if they are watching those stories. And what’s interesting is I’ve actually had people in our private Facebook support group who do this, who literally use Snapchat and Instagram as a way, as a litmus test of figuring out what things their ex is interested in.

Maybe they make their story about one thing, they chart to see if he watches and then they do the same thing with a different topic, chart to see if he watches. And if they start to notice patterns developing, hey, he always seems to watch when I’m doing sort of some makeup tutorial or something like that. Or he always seems to watch when I’m doing one of those vlog type situations. I don’t know what you should be using your Instagram stories are.

I’m sure we can come up with specific things you can do.

But ultimately you should use Snapchat and Instagram as a way of charting your ex’s behavior to see what’s getting him to obsess, right. And then making more of that type of content so that you can indirectly stay in touch with him during the no contact rule.

You can also do this after the no contact rule to constantly be on his mind. So ultimately that, in my opinion, is the deal with Snapchat and Instagram stories.

36 thoughts on “What Does It Mean When An Ex Watches My Snapchat And Instagram Stories?”

  1. Avatar

    Lynn

    January 18, 2020 at 10:06 pm

    my ex and I broke up a month ago. I immediately went into no contact, but had to pick something up from his house a week later. I have been in no contact since. It has been 26 days. He is seeing his ex again. In the last month, based on her public posts, they obviously have been spending time together, but also still fighting again. They have had a roller coaster relationship for the last 6 years. He obviously still needs that roller coaster, but they also still have those underlying problems that keep them from every truly committing (their break-up/back together cycle is over and over 2-4 times a year). With me, it was the first time he had become exclusive with someone during one of their “break-ups.” We didn’t fight. We got along great. We talked it over if an issue came up. It was more of an adult relationship (we are both in our 40’s). She always chases after him, waits on him, fights with him, publicly posts about their problems, and everything else that appears needy, yet he goes back. I have been working out, concentrating on me, and even gone out on a few dates (just not really feeling those). Both of them have been looking at my stories. Her on instagram as my instagram isn’t private because I don’t use it often. He has been viewing my facebook stories. But it seems he may have stopped. He didn’t look at the last one. I haven’t looked at his at all or done anything on his fb to indicate that I have looked. I guess I am wondering if the fact that he stopped looking at my stories an indication that he is getting over me? A friend of his did reach out to me this week and invited me to an event with his wife that is still 2 months away. That seemed a little strange, but even if he is still looking at my page, until he is done with his roller coaster, I would never take him back.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 18, 2020 at 10:13 pm

      Hey Lynn, its rough when you see your ex with someone else I’m sorry you’re going through this! I understand what you are saying about being done with him until he is done with the other woman but consider reading this article https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-win-back-an-ex-who-is-with-someone-else/

      Even if you do not want to try this, but you can understand what it is you need to do if you do want to get your ex back eventually

  2. Avatar

    Help

    January 17, 2020 at 8:23 pm

    My ex and I broke up 2 weeks ago. His first reason was he wanted to be alone. Finally I got it out of him.. I was too mean. I was mean towards the end because I was always stressed out and I took it out on him. We lived together and had a dog together. Since then we got in a bad fight, Called each other names. We made up the next day and ended up having s*x. It’s been a few days since then. I have started no contact but I can’t help but think, does he even miss me? Do I have a chance at getting him back? We dated for 2 years and we were perfect together. He’s not much of a communicator so I think he just had everything bottled up and just exploded. What should I do to get him back? Thanks

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 17, 2020 at 9:09 pm

      Hey there so first thing you need to do, is show you are working on yourself to stop being mean. If you were snappy and grump then you need to learn how to control your emotions and if you are feeling frustrated how to control what words you use and how you treat people around you this does take more work than people realise. So start that today! Stick to a no contact for some time and reach out with one of the text styles that is recommended on this website!

  3. Avatar

    tia

    January 17, 2020 at 1:31 pm

    my ex doesn’t want anything to do with me , we were sleeping around for a year now . he is my ex from 2010. long story short he don’t want me anymore, but Everytime we have a falling out his sister page start watching my insta stories. for years his sister was following me but never paid me any mind but now she watches all my stories

  4. Avatar

    Stephanie

    January 14, 2020 at 4:00 pm

    My ex and I have been broken up 2 months. He initiated the break up and he uses Instagram to send me memes daily. We ended up in a fwb situation and he still has his days where he starts arguments but no matter what he weirdly keeps sending those memes.. It completely throws me off. So I started no contact.. please help decipher why he would continue to send those?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 16, 2020 at 11:30 pm

      The reason he sends those memes is to see if he gets a response from you. But you need to stick to a No Contact and not reply to those to show him you are no longer interested in a fwb situation and that you are setting a boundary that you are not looking for what he is willing to give you right now, you are going to work on yourself in that time and also consider going on some casual dates in that time too to show him you are looking for something real not part time.

  5. Avatar

    Danni

    January 8, 2020 at 11:08 am

    Hi. My Ex and I had been going out for 2 years. It’s been 3 month since the break up. Soon after the break up, he deleted all instagram pics of us apart from one, blocked me on FB messenger, and deleted some (but not all) pics of us on his FB. I haven’t contacted him in 2 months.

    At the moment, we are still friends on FB (although I have deactivated my activate for couple of months as have exams). But recently he has deleted a few more pics on his FB. He also unfollowed me on instagram the other day, after I posted my first picture in a while.
    Yesterday I noticed he deleted the last remaining picture of me off his instagram.
    I am really confused with what is going on in his head. Why is is doing all these actions gradually. I initially thought this was him hurting and being irrational, but now I’m questioning whether he is just slowly moving on?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 13, 2020 at 11:26 pm

      Hey Danni, so when exes go to the effort of deleting photos it shows that at that point in time you were on their mind (yay) but that they were not feeling positive emotions (upset, anger, missing you but not wanting to). So I wouldn’t say that they are moving on slowly, it just a sign that you are actually on their mind at this point. So giving that you are almost done with your No Contact and its been around 30 days, you can start reaching out and hopefully have short friendly conversations with your ex and start re building attraction

  6. Avatar

    James

    January 1, 2020 at 11:47 am

    My bf broke up with me after we had a big fight tht dragged for 7 days.. He took some space then came back and said this was not working for him and he can nt be in a relationship with any one. Am his first.
    He broke up with me 6 days ago.. And I did gnat him asking for him back every 2 days..
    But started the NC yesterday..
    During all tht period he has been checking every snapchat story.. Everyday..
    Should I keep letting him watch? Or should I restrict him for a week to give him a clear space from me.. It makes no sense he broke up with me but so interested in knowing wat am up to.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 3, 2020 at 5:35 am

      Hi James yes keep letting him watch your stories and see you are not sat at home waiting to hear from him. Live your life during No contact and show that you are fine with or without them.

  7. Avatar

    Kathy

    December 28, 2019 at 8:40 pm

    Hi I am struggling. I am on day 10 of NC. My ex was looking at my Snapchat and fb stories each and everyday since break up and me entering NC. Day 1 of NC he sent me two snaps and reacted to a fb post. On day 7 NC which was Christmas, he texted me “Merry Christmas”
    I didn’t reply.
    After that he no longer has watched my stories at all. I feel desperate. He texted me before flying to Middle East for vacation w family. When he landed he looked at my Snapchat story but I think then he realize that I hadn’t texted him back.. since then he has been on fb, IG, and Snapchat but has not looked at ANYTHING.
    This is our first BU and I’m worried maybe NC will backfire in this case. No cheating or anything just me being insecure and needy.
    Can you please help me? Why would he just stop viewing everything?? Yes he’s on vacation but we’d recently gone to Africa together and he looked at people’s stories then.. I strongly feel he stopped because I didn’t text him merry Christmas back. I do not think he will reach out anymore as he’s gone radio silent. Should I text him back? Literally watched my stories every single day until I ignored him

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 30, 2019 at 10:04 pm

      Hey Kathy, stick it out, believe in the process and work on yourself in that time so that when you do speak to him again you are going to peak his interest

  8. Avatar

    anon

    December 21, 2019 at 6:11 pm

    iv’e been in no contact for almost two months now. I’m curious why he hasn’t unfollowed me on instagram after the breakup? there’s no hard feelings between us. I still follow him and choose not to unfollow him for many reasons. I just remember the first time we broke up, a week later he unfollowed me. Now this time in after two months he hasn’t? Is he still holding onto the possibility of us getting back together when the time is right? I am the only ex he is following on instagram too. Or am I just reading into it more than I should be? I just want to know if i’m on the right track of things if I plan to reach out soon.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 21, 2019 at 10:59 pm

      Hey if you want your ex back then it could be time to draft a text that Chris suggests and reach out to him after the holidays

  9. Avatar

    EJ

    December 16, 2019 at 11:45 pm

    Hi, I’m 14 days deep into N.C., I’ve posted really nice photos of me having fun with lots of friends on Instagram and I posted a video of my friend’s cat to my snapchat story. The difficulty is that my friend (male) was holding the cat. I thought this was a subtle way of implying he was losing me, especially as my ex doesn’t know the friend (I’ve been following all the social media rules!!), but when he saw it he immediately unfriended me on snapchat. Other social media’s still unblocked for now. What does this mean and what should I do????

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 21, 2019 at 11:21 pm

      Its an emotional reaction so dont worry and keep doing what you are doing

  10. Avatar

    casa

    December 7, 2019 at 11:03 am

    me and ex was in a long distance, she cheated on me twice and then finally told me, we broke up, its been 2 months and she keeps checking all my insta stories, anything i post she is watching it

  11. Avatar

    Joselyn

    December 5, 2019 at 8:26 pm

    So what does it usually mean if he stops watching your Instagram stories?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 6, 2019 at 6:00 pm

      Hi Joselyn, if this is something he used to do when you were in a relationship I wouldnt over think it. I would focus on making sure you look UG

  12. Avatar

    J

    December 4, 2019 at 12:45 pm

    Hey so I think my ex muted me on Instagram because he started to not watch my story anymore no matter how much I tweaked my story content (Instagram) (it’s day 10 of NC). Does this mean he is moving on?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 4, 2019 at 10:47 pm

      Usually, blocking or muting someone is an emotional reaction after a break up. So most likely they have done it so that they do not see what you’re posting anymore

  13. Avatar

    J

    December 3, 2019 at 5:21 am

    My ex hadn’t view6my snapchat since the break up and then I posted something he would definitely be interested in viewing and after viewing the whole story he deleted me as a friend but kept me on Facebook? I’m I reading into it or? Thank you for any feed back!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 6, 2019 at 6:43 pm

      Hi J so if this is something that would have been interesting to him he more than likely got emotional and deleted you so he didn’t see you doing these things so it is not a bad sign if you want him back.

  14. Avatar

    Olivia

    December 3, 2019 at 3:20 am

    Hi, so my boyfriend had been telling me to leave him alone and give him some space. And I did, for like three days only. And I did gnat at him, accusing him for cheating on me when all he wants is space. The last time I gnat at him, he told me he wants to be alone. He even told me to leave me because he thinks our relationship is toxic now because hes hurting me. After that, he unpinned my photo from Twitter but he didnt deleted our photos. Im not sure if he didnt delete them because he was lazy or it is some sort of indication that he still wants me, even a trace. But I posted an Instagram story and a post lately. He also looked at the story and liked my photo. Is that a good sign? And since he unpinned my photo, should I unpinned his photo from my twitter also?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 6, 2019 at 6:49 pm

      Hey Olivia so dont over thing his social media actions, just take it as a good sign that he is watching your activity. But that’s it, hes just watching. I am going to assume you are not in your no contact phase which means that you need to do NOTHING on twitter that would send him a notification etc. Solely focus on yourself for the time being

  15. Avatar

    Christina

    December 2, 2019 at 3:32 am

    My ex almost made a point of not engaging with my social media (stories and posts) while we dated. Two weeks after he dumped me he liked an insta photo of mine from 6 months ago (prior to us dating) and on the same night he watched 4 videos worth of an instagram story I had up. He continues to watch my stories but hasn’t liked any other photos. It was out of character and also a 2:00am (probably tipsy) like. Curious about your thoughts.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 4, 2019 at 9:17 pm

      Shows you are on your exes mind and its not a bad thing if you wanted to get back together

  16. Avatar

    Marianne

    December 1, 2019 at 6:15 pm

    Hi everyone so im doing NC for almost like a month and i just follow the rules my ex tried to contact me a couple of times , the thing is that yesterday he asked me if i had his hoodie so i thought he wanted back so i told him yes and that my friend can give it to him at school, then he said no its okey i just wanted to know where it is. So im a bit confuse should i start NC again ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 1, 2019 at 10:40 pm

      Hey Marianne, I am afraid so as a hoody is something he could have waited a few days to hear back from you, or just given it to your friend to hand him when she knew she would see him. There is no need to do a 30 day no contact though just add an extra 7 days to how ever many you have left

  17. Avatar

    Carol

    November 29, 2019 at 9:35 pm

    How can I combine the “being there” and the UG methods?
    He needs lots of support (he is struggling with a depression fromm a broken heart and he has anxiety too) but also… Even if he is very attracted to me (he tells me), I feel invisible from time to time, I am VERY afraid of the greener grass (being at distance right now doesn’t help in order to get a chance). I need to shine WAY brighter than the others. He tends to idealize girls (which usually don’t feel the same) and having strong crushes (I was one), so I need to became the best UG ever but at the same time I have to keep being supportive because he needs it and he values it.
    He is emotionally unavailable and gets driven for greener grass without usually get nothing. He is attracted to me in many ways and trusts me. But I need more. So, how can I be a UG to him to dazzle me and still being supportive? I need to be the best one.

    Thank you a lot.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 4, 2019 at 7:41 pm

      Hi Carol, so the being there method, you would do if he had another woman in the situation? So does he have a woman he is dating or more? And to be Ungettable girl, you need to be the woman who he thinks he cant have but every man wants. You have to be independent, also show that you are interesting and doing things that would seem adventurous or something he would want to do.

      During your relationship he would have told you what he likes and dislikes, what he is attracted to it seems is the “chase” so thats something to keep in mind, firstly though you MUST do a no contact

  18. Avatar

    Dee

    November 28, 2019 at 4:45 pm

    I’m almost done with one month of no contact with my ex. He has no social media besides LinkedIn(business profile). Over the past month he has visited my profile on LinkedIn a number of times but recently stopped visiting the profile a week ago. Should I read into that behavior? I don’t post anything on my LinkedIn and it doesn’t give any information besides my resume. I feel as though he wants me to know he’s viewing it?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 28, 2019 at 9:29 pm

      Hi Dee, so he may be going there to see if you have updated your information, but as it is a business page not a social media page I guess he is just doing it as its his only way to check up on you. Do you have mutual friends on social media that he would have seen lately? If so then there is a chance he would have looked at your pages or spoke to those friends about you. If not then I would change your linked in photo or something just so you can see if he has looked at your page again since

  19. Avatar

    Em

    November 22, 2019 at 12:44 pm

    My ex doesn’t have social media so definitely wouldn’t see anything
    I pose. He did have Facebook but deleted it a week after breakup.
    Surely it’s out of sight out of mind?
    He definitely wouldn’t check through friends avenues either.

    Thanks

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 22, 2019 at 10:48 pm

      I still think they get curious and find a way to check on you. But I’m curious as to the age of your ex?

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