How To Get A Long Distance Relationship Ex Boyfriend Back

5,234 thoughts on “The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship”

Kenzie

August 29, 2016 at 2:54 pm

Hi,

I was in a relationship for a little over 5 years with someone from a different country. We lived together in that country for years 3-4, prior time was Long distance and After year 4 moved for a job opportunity. We were on the rocks the last year of the relationship due to the stress of the distance and the incredible workload from my job- frankly I did not treat him well but he was also not supportive. I ended the relationship about 9 months ago because I was hoping to push him to finally commit or move to my location but he wouldn’t. A few months later he told me he wanted to make it work (with no plan) and I kind of brushed him off (I was also sort of seeing someone). About a month later I realized I felt differently and even saw him in his country, where I told him so. He had moved on and was sort of seeing someone else and no longer wanted to make it work. We’ve continued to speak on and off (initiated sometimes by him) but only texting. I sent him a note two months ago detailing all I felt about him, but nothing. Given its been 9 months, should I bother with NC rule , continue to try to chat, or just move on? At this point, I feel like if he loved me he would’ve just said so.

Kenzie

August 31, 2016 at 11:22 am

Hi Amor,

Many thanks for your response. What does a restart mean, particularly considering the distance involved? Does this mean NC is irrelevant at this point? To improve myself, I have reflected on the mistakes made, what I’d do differently etc. I’ve traveled and focused on living my life as best as possible, even if it hurts. Not sure if you were expecting more.
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 31, 2016 at 3:30 pm

oh restart means he has to think you have moved on.. and for that, nc will help.. he has to think you’ve moved on so that he wont feel awkward starting as friends again
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 31, 2016 at 9:33 am

Hi Kenzie,
yeah, it’s more likely that he has moved on.. SO, that means you have to have a restart.. not a continuation of the previous relationship.. Since that note, how much have you improved?

Emily

August 29, 2016 at 4:50 am

Hi,
So me and my boyfriend just broke up three weeks ago after being together for 6 months. We broke up because I’m going back to school and he just graduated. At the end of our relationship he was really depressed because he had not found a job yet. It was a mutual break up because we never did long distance before and he needed time to figure out his life career wise. We both still cared for each other deeply in the end it was just logical to break up. We were never a couple that texted everyday, or even all day for that matter even in the beginning. That was just us we would just send each other a few text every couple of days mostly about when we would go out next (Does this mean I should space out my text more after NC instead of gradually leading up to texting everyday?). During NC he already texted me on day 13 to see how I was doing and I just passed the 21st day mark. I don’t have a lot of time off at school until winter break in December. Should I extend NC for another month or two so that my text don’t lose impact over the course of four months? Do you think he can still be kept interested after a time period that long?

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 30, 2016 at 8:39 pm

Hi Emily,

I think yeah you should space it out at first. But if he naturally want to talk because he missed you, take that opportunity to text again the next day but remember, always end the convo at high point. What matters most is the quality of the conversation. So, that you can leave him wanting more.

Kate

August 28, 2016 at 6:02 pm

Hi, my ex and I were in a long distance relationship for almost half a year. Things were great throughout the first 6 months (he came back and spent time with me for 2 months before he went to the States for high school again), we were really happy even though we were far apart from each other. However, some time right before he comes back, we started to have some issues with our relationship:
1. he told me that we need to spend less time skyping each other as he wanted to do the things that he want to do, and he told me that I was being too clingy. I got so insecure since then and after that we started to have arguments more frequent.

But those arguments didn’t really get to us until he came back this summer:
1. He was excited to see me, however he spent most of his time with his friends and when I complain about it, he said it’s because this is his last chance to actually have fun with everyone before we part (as we’ve all just graduated from high school and all going to different countries to study).
2. And then I noticed of how his attitude changed, such as when I was going on a week trip with my family and he doesn’t miss him and doesn’t even want to skype me. We had an argument about that and he almost broke up with me, but he held me back because he said he still loved me. However, after that there is a huge change to our relationship, he told me that he doesn’t want me to be checking on him all the time, and say only say “I love you” to each other sometimes (we used to say it every night before we go to sleep). I gradually accept the change that he wanted as I tried to make him happy.
3. However, a huge issue arise when he was getting really close with this girl that he used to like for a long time, and they even went on a 4 days trip together (even though the girl’s mom was accompanying them and he asked me to come with them but I couldn’t). I told him about my insecurities and he just keep telling me that they are friends and tell me that I should trust him instead of helping me out to reduce my insecurities. Eventually, I realized that he’s not going to stop talking to that girl, and so I decided to change my mindset and accept the fact that they’re going to talk everyday and snapchat each other every single day.
4. As time goes by, I noticed that he’s starting to care less about my feelings, and whenever I address that issue, he kept on saying that “I’m making it such of a big deal” or “I’m just overthinking”. I felt like I was the only one who was trying to maintain this relationship. And so I finally made up my mind to break up with him. I called him out and ended it precisely.
5. However, after that I started to miss him, and realized that I really love him. And after one week I contacted him and asked him to meet up. And then I convinced him to get back to me and we did get back together.
6. After a week of getting back to me, he went back to the State and we were in a long distance relationship again. And throughout that time, I went on a 10 day trip with my friends as well so we couldn’t talk much. In fact, he didn’t even bother to message me first at all, and I started to notice that he’s slowing taking me for granted as he says things like: “If I don’t skype you, I’m afraid you’re going to miss me too much”. Then I finally confronted him to ask him for the truth of whether he still loves me or not. He said that he doesn’t miss me as much and doesn’t feel the same anymore and so we broke up.

Right now I’m devastated and want him to get back with me, however I think that he wouldn’t because:
1. he might have find the other girl who he’s talking to more attractive than me
2. we re going to be in a long distance relationship for awhile
3. he wished me to find someone who is “right” for me
4. he lost his feelings for me so I assume he doesn’t love me anymore, and therefore wouldn’t care if I apply the no contact rule?
I don’t know what should I do in my situation right now, please help.

Kate

September 2, 2016 at 7:22 am

Hi Amor,
He did mention a couple times that he just wants his own space to do the things he wants to do. So right now I haven’t talked to him for almost a week ever since we broke up. What else do I need to do right now in order to improve the situation?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 2, 2016 at 5:42 pm

you can only control yourself, so that means you need to focus in improving yourself, having your own life, maintaining relationships with friends and family, making new friends and cultivating new skills or honing new skills.
Kate

August 28, 2016 at 6:10 pm

In addition to point 3 of the issues I listed, the girl who he has been recently close to is also one of my good friends, they almost hung out alone with each other once and even though my boyfriend told me before he was gonna hang out with her, he didn’t invite me to join and neither did she. And my friend is the kind of girl that get all the guys, and so right now I’m really worry that he would actually or has already catch feelings for her again.
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 30, 2016 at 7:07 pm

Hi Kate,

let’s say he is starting to fall out of love with you. Then not doing nc and continuing to be clingy with him, is not going to make the situation bettter. It’s going to make it worse.. He’s actually mentioning repeatedly that you’re being clingy right?

Chloe

August 28, 2016 at 11:16 am

I am the same girl who wrote below.
This is the email I wrote.. I dont know.. I want to send him soon cuz he can think positively with this message??? It is been a week NC rule.

Dear —–

I decided to write this email to apologize about what I’ve done and said to you.
I read all our old text messages and borrowed some relationship books to learn more about myself and successful relationship.
I DO RECOGNIZE now that I’ve said and done things that have unknowingly pushed you away.

We spend great days together but when we began to process the wedding and visa, I caused lots of fights on texting.
At that moment, I blamed you, and I’ve never thought it was my issue until now.

After breakup, reading our text messages to learn about myself and relationship, I felt terribly awful about what I’ve done to you.
I can tell, deep in my heart I had a HUGE fear since your mom doesn’t like me and I will have only you in Hawaii, and you changed your words couple times.
Also since we moved so fast, trust hadn’t built up yet, which made me have fear.
I should have said my feelings instead of causing fights to hide my fear and insecurities.
I guess this is why I caused all the crazy drama with you. I am not trying to rationalize, I wanted to find where all this feeling is from.

I am really sorry for how I contributed to the unhappiness in our relationship and how I hurt you. At the same time I do appreciate you on showing me unconditional love no one showed me before except my family.

I made a list of the mistakes I thought I made in our relationship and I want your help so I won’t make them again.

• The most important thing I’ve learned is I need to accept and respect you as you are.
I think great relationship is making each other better person, which is true, but what I was wrong is I should have done it WITHOUT changing you. I regret I kept asking you to change. You would’ve had a hard time when I asked you to change. I am very realistic so I will try really hard to accept my partner as he is. I will look to his best side and develop more appreciation for his best side, and let him know. If I did this already, the mistake I wrote below wouldn’t have happened..:(

• I took the wrong way such as tantrums about all the social media thing, and ultimatums to feel your love and getting enough attention, I am sorry that you had to deal with all my wrong actions, at the same time again I appreciate your unconditional love you showed me that I finally could trust in your love.. through my wrong actions:(. I need to do the work and self-exploration it takes to feel worthy of love in order to make a relationship work.

• I shouldn’t have vented my feelings about your mom to you since she is your loved mom forever. Also she is the one who brought you here so that I could’ve made a new family with you. Showing anger to you was not acceptable at all, because it would’ve hurt you so much and made you worried about the relationship between your mom and me. I should’ve set you at ease. I accept your mom as she is that’s why I decided to marry you. I was ready to deal with the problems wisely which might happen in the future. Because the problem would be a small thing compared to how much I loved you. Also I was being polite to her in person or on a phone to not cause any issues. I know you were having really hard time to work things out between your mom and me. I do appreciate that you were fighting for us in that hard situation. I was immature. I am really sorry. I will NEVER make the same mistake.

• I was not listening to you so that it hurt you. You asked me to talk to you on a phone or just talk not being quiet while we were arguing.
I focused on my feelings so that I was missing your feelings. I was self-centered and I asked you only my needs, and didn’t have responsibilities of my actions. You are being a good guy decides to make me more important than your own needs. Thank you so much to care about my needs. I truly learned that I need to respect my partner’s needs and feelings.

• Also I learned that I should have never shared with you what my friend’s idea about our relationship since they don’t know THE LOVE between us, and are the third person who see things objectively.
Love should be subjective in every relationship and ONLY YOU & I know how big and deep our love is. I am sorry. I wasn’t thinking straight at the moment while I was in shock. I do really regret to share the text with you.
I shouldn’t have listened to them nor share the story. I am sorry that you got hurt from all my mistakes.

So this breakup is like a wakeup call and also an opportunity for me to grow myself and learn more about loving and successful relationship skills.
I am really seeing things differently now and I think I can make a big change.

Learning about love.
Love is not giving 50%, 50% to each other.
Love is giving 100% to their partner, even if I feel like I am getting 50% of it.

Also I want to say things you made me happy
(havent wrote yet but i will make a list)

This all happening was way too painful I’ve never experienced in my life. I can say that this situation was much more painful than saying goodbye to my dad and grandmother.
But I am here learning lessons on how I can do it better next time, whether it be with you or someone else in my future.

I still love you and I want to understand what happened in your relationship. If you wanted to be with me again and I was not with someone else, I am ready to renew this relationship. You are the greatest guy I have ever met.
If we aren’t going to pursue a future together, I don’t want to hold this against you or have you hold this against me. I want you to be happy in your life and I know you want me to be happy in my life. I made a list of my mistakes above I’ve learned so far , not to make them again. Would you look them over for me and give me feedback? That would really help me understand myself and move on so I can find love, hopefully with you if you were open to that. I love you so much…

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 30, 2016 at 3:14 pm

Hi Chloe,

sorry for the late reply..

DId you send that letter? Are you actively improving yourself?

Chloe

August 28, 2016 at 3:59 am

I consitantly caused a fight while we were dating because he proposed to me in a month of relationship. Since that we started fighting. First reason, his mom doesnt like me, second reason at that moment I didnt trust him if he really loved me. We met in Korea where I live, and he had to go back to the states in 2 months since he proposed to me. So I was scared if he just want to have some fun with me in Korea. We fought almost 2 months.. But wedding plan was going okay.. He mentioned breaking off once after a big fight, but he changed his mind. Everything went well and he went back to the states and we started LDR. After 2 and a half LDR, we were going to have a wedding in Korea.
First month of LDR was great.. that made us miss each other more. But then we started fighting again with a small thing. I mostly caused fight because he is super laid back.:( We were so different. While visa processing, I knew something got wrong(but i was just saying, no pushing) but he made me feel like I was not patient.. But we really got something wrong with our visa thing so he said sorry. Another story, the day he had to come to korea was coming but he hadnt bought flight tickets yet so i was worried but i didnt want to push him so didnt ask about it. And a month before the wedding, i had to ask when he will get tickets and he said he bought it yesterday. So I asked why he didnt tell me, and he said he was busy doing mowing and napping. Which caused a fight again. I asked him you had time to go to the bathroom or get water and didnt have time to text me ‘I’ve got tickets’. I dont know:( Am I too sensitive??
Anywaya I caused a fight and he kept telling me he felt like he is walking on the eggshell.
And he broke off the engagement a week before wedding.
He came to Korea and said sorry to my mom and me.. And said he didnt want to break up. But i retured ring and everything saying it is too late. He was begging a little bit to make things work couple days so i tried to change my mind to be with him cuz I love him. But eventually he changed his mind and said he wanted to be alone. He broke up with me. I think he was worried if we fight more after marrying me.
I was begging him a bit asking if he thinks we are not going to work, and he said he wanted to be alone. So I asked him if he will think the same after, and he said he doesnt know. So i told him that now i can meet other guys! And he said if it is my choice, i can do that but he wont date for a while. And he tried to kiss me and I refused. Said goodbye.

And the next dat he flied to the states.
When he got on a flight I texted him safe flight!
And he checked my text when he arrived but the whole day he didnt text me back. And one day after, he texted me ‘got home, so tired’ (it’s a week ago from today) but didnt know what to say so ignored. That night 2am he posted sad song lyrics on Instagram. He usually sent the sad lyrics via text but this time he posted on instagram. But the next day he deleted again:/
And it is been exactly a week doing NC rule.

I regret I caused lots of fights so I work on writing apology letter. What i’ve learned from this breakup. Everytime we fought, I blamed him to be changed his behavior. I’ve never said I was wrong.

After breakup I read all our text messages and I felt really awful what I’ve done to him. Of course he didn’t do great but it was his personality.. I should of accpeted him as he is but I aleays complained:(

So I want to send him my apology email. But I dont know when.. I am sending it to change his mind but I know it is almost impossible sp my hope is 0.00001%.

Can you give me an advice when I should sent the email? Or if it is a good idea? He would be really surprised that I say I was wrong. But I am worried if he thinks thankful for the apology letter but that is it..
Please give me advice please.
Until he broke up with he, he said he loves me.. While we were fighting and going through this canceling wedding stuff he kept saying he really loves me and want a baby with me..
I felt like he really loves me but his fear about fighting is way too big..
Also he kept saying he doesnt want to hurt me anymore, this breaking off hurt me so much and it is hard to handle for him to see I got hurt.

Please give me advice!

Chloe

September 4, 2016 at 2:35 am

Im in shock… He deleted his account on instagram and i found out he made a new account.. Should i keep nc or should i sent the apology letter?? Instagram was only why were were connected… Did he move on?? It is been 2 weeks nc…. I cannot belive he did this… Or he didnt want to see i am being okay since he broke up with me?? Cuz a day after nc, he posted sad lyrics on instagram that says how come you are fine are you sure you loved me before? This kinda lyrics and since that he kept deleting our old date photos… Last weekend.. And this weekend he delete his account.. Getting worse…. Should I contact him casually? Or email him apology letter??
Chloe

September 3, 2016 at 1:03 pm

We were connected only on instagram but he deleted his account today..:( we have snapchat but he never checked my story. What should I do??? He really moved on??? It is been only 2 weeks.. He went back to his family and friends.. So.. It would be easier to move on..? What should i do for now? 🙁 please help me..
Chloe

September 1, 2016 at 3:21 pm

Thank you again for your advice. I agree with that. But i still have question that how i can built enough rapport with him in this long distance?:( can you give me some ideas, please? Also we have time differences:(
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 2, 2016 at 10:06 am

oh, sorry! With long distance the only option is through your messages.. The texting or skyping or social messaging period is longer compared to a regular relationship.. It’s important that you keep your own life interesting too so, that you would be interesting to him.. You have to have your own thing to be busy with.
Chloe

September 1, 2016 at 12:11 am

Thanks for your advise! Of course I want to show him through my actions but we are in a long distance and he thinks I think I am always right. I have never said sorry about my behavior. So I want to let him know that I was wrong. Then want a second chance. If we dont meet and talk how to show him?:(
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 1, 2016 at 1:32 pm

Just continue being active in social media.. When you’re back to talking and you’ve built enough rapport again, then that’s the time you can apologize.. and just continue posting too.. you’ll never know what he really thinks about especially now that you’re not talking to each other.
Chloe

August 31, 2016 at 9:00 am

Also your site says text is the best! And says first contact should be a text. But i know i made him stressed out and i feel awful and now i realized after i lost him…:/ should i start text in casualy way and then send the email?? Or is it okay that apology email is the first contact??
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 31, 2016 at 2:44 pm

I think that’s too heavy for a first contact message.. It’s better if you just change.. show your change through actions and then slowly rebuild rapport after it..
Chloe

August 31, 2016 at 1:56 am

I havent sent it yet since it’s been 11days NC rule. I think he still has bad feelings about me, that ‘she is not going to change. And I’m scared of fighting more, and I dont want her to get hurt anymore.’ He is realistic and if the letter makes sense he will think about the relationship again. But I am not sure he will give me a second chance. Is it a good idea to send the letter after 1 month NC?
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 30, 2016 at 3:14 pm

Hi Chloe,

sorry for the late reply..

DId you send that letter? Are you actively improving yourself?

Ines

August 27, 2016 at 1:12 pm

Hello,

So I followed the NC Rule and my ex came back (kinda.) He started to reach out once a month after our break up in Dec 2015. I would respond since it would be 30-45 day gaps. By early May he urged that he see each other but I made him wait until June to see if he was sure. Well it turns out he was told will be deployed in Sept/Oct for 6-8 months. Since June, we have seen each other twice in between his training (his training has been 1 week-1month long and can tell he is exhausted.) I feel like he is trying to repair things before he leaves but I also feel cheated because we haven’t had the time to really talk, and he mentally isn’t in the place to start our relationship over. (*By the way he was with a rebound that he started seeing in Jan. I found out he broke up with her at the end of May, which is another reason why I pushed him way until the end of June. He also changed his phone number and moved to a new apartment.) If we get back together this will be our 2nd deployment. Part of me wants to follow his lead to see if he wants to give us a chance before/during and after his deployment. The other side of me thinks I should treat him like a friend (not see him physically before he leaves for deployment and just respond if he reaches out while he is gone. )

Sorry for so much background info but I wanted you to know where if coming from with my question which is: Should I follow his lead if he tries to start an LDR or, should I take control and keep things friendly borderline platonic before/when he leaves?

*He was the one who broke up with me and since he has “come back” I feel like I have control again.

daisy

October 5, 2016 at 8:13 am

Hi ,

Thanks for your time & patience Amor,
This is so confusing , I have had heard from my ex now but we are just back to talking about basic things no sexy talk,if I gets flirty he doesn’t respond ,it is Muslim New Year now so he will have conflict in his mind knowing me & sticking with his beliefs at this time . Should I just go into NC for a bit ? I was not well a couple of days ago & told him this & he showed lovely concern . But I’m not sure what to do next ?
Ines

September 1, 2016 at 11:49 pm

That’s what mind has been telling me. I’m pushing love to the side this time.

Thank you Amor!
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 2, 2016 at 2:42 pm

You’re welcome!
Ines

August 31, 2016 at 12:41 am

Hi Amor,

Sorry I’m all over the place…

His actions are making me believe he wants to get back together. He has been very pensive and has asked me questions about my personal plans. We have seen each other twice since our break up.

I’m not sure if I should follow his lead because of the timing since he will be leaving soon for deployment or if I should keep my distance and just be there for him as a friend until he gets back.
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 31, 2016 at 2:38 pm

I think you should set your expectations.. because if he really wants you back, he has to say it.
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 30, 2016 at 11:48 am

Hi Ines,

I don’t understand.. Sorry, did you mean he wanted to get back together if you meet up with him before his deployment? Or he just wants to meet?

Daisy

August 27, 2016 at 7:52 am

Hi Amor ,

I have lost my thread so will start again, I had LDR with my Muslim boyfriend for 4 months ,I met him on holiday so he lives a 4 hour flight away from me! we had a misunderstanding at Ramadan & intead of leaving him to cool down I became needy & crazy texting ,calling ,messaging until he block me on whatsapp & his phone ! I send a letter apologising also so did not leave him alone ! We are both late 30s & had discussed marriage & children my ex was adamant we will be together despite different religious backgrounds , he tell me love me almost every day & we speak ,message & called regularly ! I visit him & stay in his home & meet his friends ! After 4 weeks of no contact from him , I message him from a different number saying can we be friends at least & he message back & let me know he has gone to visit his family in his home country & hopes I am well ! I then became a text gnat again for 2 weeks ! No replies so I start no contact ! I am 3 weeks into no contact & feel much better , improving myself ,going to gym , out with friends ! Last night I accidentally called him on my mobile , I really didn’t mean to do it & stopped the call immediately ! My ex message me within 10 mins a ? I have a new profile photo that does not have the whole of my face in ! I did not reply , then he message asking who this is , I didn’t reply ,he message again who is this , so I reply & said don’t you know who this is & he said sorry no , do you know me , he message me all night asking who I am & sometimes I reply but not much ! He has now gone quiet , I never say it’s me ! Now I don’t know what to do ? Has he really forgotten it’s me , do I start no contact again , do I just wait until this 30 days finishes & message like I was going to do ? Has he stopped thinking about me if he doesn’t know my photo & says who am I ? I can’t find a page on your site that helps with this ! Please help ?

daisy

October 23, 2016 at 1:46 pm

So my ex unblock me yesterday but to tell me off , my friend has messaged him telling him that I am going to the country where lives in Dec ( which is true with my friend but I wasn’t going to tell him or visit him if we were not talking ,it was booked when we were ) & to ask him if he wouldn’t mind looking after the clothes & belongings I left in his home until I can go & pick them up from him.,she said that she hoped that me & him could resolve our differences & start talking again. She thought she was helping but didn’t tell me she was doing it ( she had his number so that when I went to visit there was a contact if something happened to me) . My ex message asking what happened to me to text him & that my friends and everyone was texting him & he didn’t like it . I replied and said I didn’t understand what he was talking about (which I didn’t ) then I ask my friend & she told me what she had done . I then messaged my ex & appologised explained why my friend had his number & also explained that she thought she was helping & had only wanted to make things ok between us .i said sorry but also explained that there was no one else messaging him on my behalf as only she had the number & that hoped he understood it came from a good place. He read the message but didn’t respond & didn’t block me either . I have not messaged since , it’s his birthday this week do I message happy birthday or leave him alone ? He could of just blocked my friend & not unblocked me to message me but he made contact again even though it was to tell me off , what does that mean ? What should I do ? Has my friend ruined any chance of us speaking again ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 25, 2016 at 10:47 am

well, not really.. you explained and it looks like he beleives it.. Je was probably pissed at first because he thought you were asking your friend to talk to him and then maybe he thought you had done it because he blocked you, so better not block you again for it to not happen again..you can try greeting him on his bday and start building rapport again but if it doesnt work out, then it’s better to move on
daisy

October 20, 2016 at 1:35 pm

Hi Amor,

It’s been 2 weeks since I was blocked on whatsapp for the second time (only whatsapp this time )I waited a week as you suggested & then sent a light hearted text which I had no response to, I waited 3 days & then sent a football related message & video on Facebook which my ex read but did not respond to ,I still haven’t been unblocked on whatsapp . 3 weeks ago my ex was saying he missed me & that I was sexy now nothing what should I do next ,do I have to start another NC ? I don’t understand what’s going through his mind , please help, we were going so well ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 22, 2016 at 11:24 am

nope..you have to set a time now on until when you would wait before moving on
daisy

October 13, 2016 at 5:54 pm

As this is the 2nd time I’ve been blocked on whatsapp & have not been unblocked (it’s been a week now) I will have to text my ex as that is the only way to communicate, what type of message should I use to initiate a conversation?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 13, 2016 at 8:52 pm

check this one for a first contact text:
EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message
daisy

October 12, 2016 at 9:11 am

Hi Amor,

Thankyou. It’s been 7 days since my LDR Ex boyfriend blocked me again ,it is however Muslim New Year & I gave read that that it is the 2nd most religious time ,Ramadan being the 1st. I have made no contact ,not called or tried an alternative route to message him so totally different to the 1st time . Should I wait until the end of the Muslim New Year before even trying to initiate contact ? It finishes at the end of Oct . It’s my ex birthday before the end of October should I text message Happy Birthday ? ( he has only blocked me on whatsapp ) Sorry for all the questions ,we had come so far & it was looking so positive I wasn’t prepared for him to back off ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 12, 2016 at 1:34 pm

you can greet him since you’re not in nc anymore.. I’m not really sure how their holidays work but if they refrain even from talking to a girl during those times, then it’s better to initiate a convo after that..
daisy

October 10, 2016 at 9:13 pm

Thanks Amor , If that’s the case is it still possible to get my ex back ? If he still remembers the bad times & has backed off ,will he come back ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 11, 2016 at 3:51 pm

yes, there’s still a chance.. more likely you just have to take it slow and be consistent with the new you, so that he will realize that he’s worrying for nothing because you’re so different from the way you are before.
daisy

October 8, 2016 at 4:31 pm

Thanks so much Amor for your patience ,
I will follow your advice which has worked so far , I just don’t understand why he’s suddenly backed off & is now worried about the distance between us? Is this what sometimes happens , they come back then back off again ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 10, 2016 at 5:08 pm

You’re welcome! yup.. because they can still remember the bad times of the relationship..
daisy

October 5, 2016 at 3:07 pm

Hi Amor ,
Today started well, my ex & I had a funny conversation them he told me that he was going back to his home country for the holidays , he then said that I was so nice to him but he lived to far from me & so I said I would visit he said sorry I go back to my home town in few days for holidays so I tried to call just once to speak & he blocked me again ! I did not try & call & have not tried to contact another way since ! Does that mean it’s over ? Last week he missed me & being flirty ,this week he’s changed his mind ? What do I do now ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 7, 2016 at 2:02 pm

you don’t have to do a full contact.. just rest from texting for a week.. if you’re still blocked by then, that’s when you do a mini nc.
daisy

October 1, 2016 at 1:08 pm

He wasn’t vulgar it was just sexy & I didn’t follow his lead because I thought maybe it was to soon ,now he is cold & I think he feels rejected ,I didn’t handle it to well. I have tried to keep messages light & funny & a bit flirty but I don’t know what else to do now as he doesn’t respond much now . What should I do next ? I feel I’ve lost the advantage I spent weeks building ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 4, 2016 at 3:42 pm

Hmm.. if he feels rejected just because of that, that means all he wants is a sex talk or being friends with benefits.. I’m not saying it’s good but if he gave up with talking to you just because of that, then it’s better to just move on
daisy

October 1, 2016 at 1:04 pm

Hi, Amor

I have now not heard from my ex for nearly 2 days he has not answered my last message I feel that maybe he feels rejected a bit because I didn’t follow his lead ,my ex has gone back in his shell a bit now ,last week he always answered me every day & initiated conversation since that Eve he doesn’t really answer now ,have things been messed up ?
daisy

September 29, 2016 at 6:51 pm

We were being flirty & he asked me for a photo of me ,which I sent , I was dressed & he said I was hot & then he started talking about sex. It was so sudden after such a long time of light chatting I wasn’t ready , came from left field a bit . I would be more prepared now . We were very flirty when we were in a relationship & obviously being a LDR flirting kept it alive so it was easy to go down that road. I just wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do so soon . I’m still not sure where we are heading & if he sees a future with me ? I have heard from him today , he sent me a photo of him going to work .
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 1, 2016 at 12:29 pm

It’s ok if it’s not too vulgar..
daisy

September 28, 2016 at 8:50 am

Hi Amor,
Over the last few days my ex has replied positively to my messages & a 2 days ago we had a conversation over 2 hours by message , he complimented me & told me he missed me, I told him I missed him to , then things got a bit cheeky to the point where it was to soon to get that close with him , I said I only talk about those things with a boyfriend , so he appologised since then I have had just one message but nothing else . What do I do now ? I didn’t want our contact just to only be sex talk before there was a bit more commitment . What should my next move be ? Do I just carry on as before & ignore what happened ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 29, 2016 at 11:23 am

yes, that’s the best you can do, ignore it and when it happens again handle it with humor and coy.. how did you talk about sex? what did he say?
daisy

September 25, 2016 at 12:14 pm

Hi Amor,
Thankyou ,is this positive progress ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 25, 2016 at 4:17 pm

Yes it is 🙂
daisy

September 24, 2016 at 1:19 pm

Thankyou, my ex was never very good at initiating 1st messages when we were together so this is not to unusual for him. He has only initiated twice in the last 2 weeks, we had a conversation most of yesterday afternoon, he compliments me sometimes but when I tried the I miss you message when I spoke of an activity & wished he was there ,he did not respond only spoke about the activity . He did say wow 10 out of 10 for my profile pic which is the 2nd time he has complimented how I look . If I message him he does always reply & sometimes to memory texts he will respond with a blush emoji but mostly it’s me that makes the 1st move . We now speak every day if I initiate which is better than 2 weeks ago when he didn’t answer for maybe a day . Whilst this is happening I’m continuing with improving myself . Should I message every day if I don’t hear from him or leave breaks ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 25, 2016 at 7:44 am

yes, but I think it’s also time you move to calls soon. If the conversation is very good, transition that conversation to a call.
daisy

September 23, 2016 at 1:27 pm

Hi Amor,
Thankyou for your advice it’s really helping! 2 days ago my ex sent me a photo of him in a top I bought him when we were together & asked if I remembered it , we had a chat over a few hours ,he complimented me on my cool clothes shopping & we chatted about what he will do in his holidays that are coming in a few weeks ,when I said he maybe could visit the city near where I live ,he said yes, I said I would like that but he did not reply . The next day I sent a photo of me in what I was going out to dinner in & asked if he liked it & he said yes big thumbs up & ten out of ten . I did not message yesterday & as yet I have not heard from him for a day & a half do I message again ? I have no idea what’s going on in his head ? Does this mean he is interested if so why has he gone silent again ? I feel like this process is working & it’s so close I want to make the right moves ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 24, 2016 at 10:47 am

yeah, but don’t expect too much too soon. Take it slowly. Yeah, he’s quite cool with talking to you but he’s not that interested enough with you to initiate talking. There’s not enough rapport yet.. So, don’t expect him yet to initiate talking.. Hmm..work on your topics and how you end them
Daisy

September 22, 2016 at 12:14 pm

Hi Amor,
Thankyou for your advice it’s really helping! 2 days ago my ex sent me a photo of him in a top I bought him when we were together & asked if I remembered it , we had a chat over a few hours ,he complimented me on my cool clothes shopping & we chatted about what he will do in his holidays that are coming in a few weeks ,when I said he maybe could visit the city near where I live ,he said yes, I said I would like that but he did not reply . The next day I sent a photo of me in what I was going out to dinner in & asked if he liked it & he said yes big thumbs up & ten out of ten . I did not message yesterday & as yet I have not heard from him for a day & a half do I message again ? I have no idea what’s going on in his head ? Does this mean he is interested if so why has he gone silent again ? I feel like this process is working & it’s so close I want to make the right moves ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 23, 2016 at 1:56 pm

it’s normal.. just rest… let him miss you 🙂
Daisy

September 19, 2016 at 3:55 pm

Hi Amor,
Thankyou, so sorry to keep asking questions but I’ve come so far & don’t want to mess up . after 2 days of my ex not replying we had some texting back & forth the next day this lasted about an hour & I ended the chat by saying enjoy the game speak soon to which he replied with a smile blush face icon . I messaged the next day but he hasn’t responded & that was 2 days ago , what should I do next , it’s been 2 weeks of messaging sometimes he responds sometimes he doesn’t , he has only initiated once and had complimented me once ,I think my topics may bore him but as you are not supposed to flirt or use the memory messages to often it’s very difficult , I can’t use jokes as there is a language barrier . He works really long hours so I know he gets tired but he is on whatsapp loads so he could reply if he wanted to ( he was always on what’s app when we’re together as that’s how keeps in touch with family & friends back home ) Any advice or am I fighting a losing battle ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 21, 2016 at 10:20 am

It’s ok! No worries! you can flirt and you should.. find out common jokes in their language or ask about their language.. get interested and be interesting..get his opinion on certain topics, especially on topics that he likes talking about
Daisy

September 14, 2016 at 9:42 am

Also I am getting a lot of the smiley blush face emojis instead of words sometimes in his replies , is that because he is bored & can’t be bothered to reply ? this is so confusing
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 17, 2016 at 12:15 pm

It can be.. but at least he’s still replying.. Work on your topic, continue the activities you started during nc.. and yes, for now, it’s good that you’re taking time to reply but just for now.. later on the texting has to progress
Daisy

September 14, 2016 at 6:26 am

Hi Amor, Thankyou for your time . I realised is was a religious time in the Muslim calendar so that is maybe why he didn’t message , I messaged him Eid Mubarrack which is traditionally said at this time & he replied straight away ‘Thankyou soooo … Much’ I just replied with A few hours later as I know it’s a busy time . The next day (yesterday) I sent a photo of me sitting in the garden saying it was my 1st afternoon off in 18 days , he replied straight away with a . My question is , is he interested & what is my next move as you say I don’t want him to get bored, is it ok that I am leaving such large gaps before I reply , what should I say next ?
Daisy

September 11, 2016 at 12:37 pm

Hi Amor,
Sorry to message again I just don’t want to mess up! We had been messaging for 3 days ,I didn’t get an answer to my last message so didn’t message for a day ,when I message today , he has not replied , what do I do now ? Has he changed his mind or is he doing a hot cold thing , I don’t know what to do next ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 13, 2016 at 2:09 pm

hmm resr for a week for now before trying again.. it may have been becoming boring for him
Daisy

September 8, 2016 at 6:59 pm

Hi Amor
Thankyou so much for your help ,since yesterday my ex has been messaging , saying well done to an award I won which he saw on Facebook & thanking me for some gifts I sent before I went into NC , I never asked about the he just said Thankyou for things you sent before , he has also talked about work , the messages are only a few words & I wait a couple of hours between answering & have not kept on if he doesn’t reply straight away ! Is this a good sign ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 9, 2016 at 5:12 pm

yep! it’s a good sign!
Daisy

September 7, 2016 at 3:58 pm

I’m not sure what I’m suppose to do next with a neutral response ,does this mean he’s not interested ? It’s been 3 days since his natural response am I supposed to keep messaging memory texts ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 8, 2016 at 2:39 pm

Nope, if it’s too much. You would look like you’re pushing him to remember. Ok, give him a week since that text and then initiate a more natural one. Pick a topic that he likes that is also current. Anything in the new shows or news or about friends?
Daisy

September 6, 2016 at 1:42 pm

Hi Amor
Thankyou , I will give him some time ! Is it positive he answered in this way ? Is this what you would call a neutral response or an angry response ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 7, 2016 at 8:04 am

it’s a neutral response..
Daisy

September 5, 2016 at 6:13 am

Hi Amor

I have made it through the 2nd NC & sent a funny remembering text ! He replied – Sorry I am not at home , I will text you though , when I have more time ! Is this positive ? I’m not sure what I should do or say next ? this time I haven’t rushed to answer ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 6, 2016 at 10:53 am

maybe he is yelling the truth..give him time
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 29, 2016 at 2:13 pm

Hi Daisy,

maybe he knows that’s you and he wants you to admit who you are, since you didnt actually have a conversation, try to continue nc and finish it before messaging him again

Confused Ann

August 25, 2016 at 9:55 pm

This is a long one… I started dating this guy a month before my high school graduation, then he moved 10 hours away. Coincidentally, I had gotten a job for the summer an hour away from him. (I promise it was the freakiest thing). Anyways. So we dated for about 3 months and then I had to move back home. A month into college, I broke up with him because I didn’t want to wait 4 years to actually be with him. 2 weeks later I found this guy who looks like my ex and I desperately tried to hook up with him (a rebound, I’m now realizing) and I’ve been dating him for a year. Every now and then I can’t help but think about my ex and wonder what would have happened if I didn’t break up with him. I wish I would stop thinking about him. I don’t know what to do. I feel guilty

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 29, 2016 at 3:28 pm

Hi Confused Ann,

The grass isn’t greener..so,that means you don’t really love your current bf? Decide first, be clear with yourself of what you want

Daisy

August 25, 2016 at 11:19 am

Hi Amor ,

I have lost my thread so will start again, I had LDR with my Muslim boyfriend for 4 months ,I met him on holiday so he lives a 4 hour flight away from me! we had a misunderstanding at Ramadan & intead of leaving him to cool down I became needy & cray texting calling messaging until he block me on whatsapp & his phone ! I send a letter apologising also so did not leave him alone ! We are both late 30s & had discussed marriage & children my ex was adamant we will be together despite different religious backgrounds , he tell me love me almost every day & we speak ,message & called regularly ! I visit him & stay in his home & meet his friends ! After 4 weeks of no contact from him , I message form a ne number saying can we be friends at least & he message back & let me know he has gone to visit his family in his home country & hopes I am well ! I then became a text gnat again for 2 weeks ! No replies so I start no contact ! I am 3 weeks into no contact & feel much better , improving myself ,going to gym , out with friends ! Last night I accidents you called him on my mobile , I really didn’t mean to do it & stopped the call immediately ! My ex message me within 10 mins a ? I have and w profile photo that does not have the whole of my face in ! I did not reply , then he message asking who this is , I didn’t reply ,he message again who is this , so I reply & said don’t you know who this is & he said sorry no , do you no me , he message me all night asking who I am & sometimes I reply but not much ! He has no gone quiet , I never say it’s me ! Now I don’t know what to do ? Has really forgotten it’s me , do I start no contact again , do I just wait until this 30 days finishes & message like I was going to do ? Has he stopped thinking about me if he doesn’t know my photo & says who am I ? I can’t find a page on your site that helps with this ! Please help ?

Daisy

August 30, 2016 at 7:19 pm

Thankyou Amor, I’m staying strong to end the 30 days NC ! Just didn’t know what to do as never been in this situation before !
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 29, 2016 at 2:13 pm

Hi Daisy,

maybe he knows that’s you and he wants you to admit who you are, since you didnt actually have a conversation, try to continue nc and finish it before messaging him again

simi

August 23, 2016 at 7:01 am

Hello

I am simi and I am from India. I am 24 years old. I have been through one of your blog few min back as I was doing my research on how to get my ex back being in a long distance. And I found your blog on which I really can trust.

So it is my story

We started having conversation in november 2014. At that time he used to like me alot and at that time I was kid of broken as I lost my father a month back and also going through a rough relationship. When I met him I dont have any self esteem or self confidence or any thing(yeah but no one can understand about my behavior as I am really good at pretending or should I say I am really bad in expressing). He made me believe that I can trust him and because of him I was able to regain my self confidence. In a single word i can say that I was really happy. (as I am single child and I am 22 years late so since my childhood i did not get the change to be my self and I grew up all alone and I and my parents share a huge generation gap and I grew up in their fights only as there was no single day when they did not fight).

When I was with him I used to forget every thing and he was the one who gave me all the love and make me understand that how it is to be feel.

Its been a year since we are together. He moved on to different city 5 months back. A day before we talked and he said that he is not happy since 2 months with everything that is going on and we should call it off. I noticed the change since he moved to the different city and I know for him it is quite difficult to maintain long distance relationship.

from my end I give him proper space and the reason that I understand is lack of communication but he is not able to understand this. In 5 months we talk over phone is maximum 10-12 time and we had video call only thrice in these 5 months. I understand he is busy as he is preparing for his entrance exams but if i tried to talk some thing nice or try to have good time with him he always make an excuse that he is tired and need to sleep (I never made him sacrifice his sleep for me or just to talk with me) He is not making any efforts that I can strongly feel as I know him very well. And these every thing make me very insecure and put me in a terrible place.

But according to him he could not even sleep thinking over it and he also feel bad about what is going on.

when I asked him that he actually loves me his answer was “I Don’t Know”

I just don’t know what to do and how to bring him back and all I want is him to be happy and by knowing that he is not happy it is really breaking me from inside. I just can’t afford to lose him because I know that he is the only one who actually makes me happy.

we talked recently as in few days back that if we have a chance to get back together or not and i asked him to be honest and he responded positively. I agree that its a good thing but after that when ever we talked it was very off. I am trying to be very positive but he respond very off. i know i should give it a time but it also scare me that what if time effect negatively and i’ll loose him forever??!!!?

Please help me… I can’t lose him…

simi

August 29, 2016 at 6:06 am

Obviously I”ll try any thing. just help me out
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 30, 2016 at 9:13 pm

first change your mindset.. stop making him your world and use no contact to have your own life. Being clingy kills the attraction because he has nothing to be look forward about you anymore because you’re always there.

Read what Chris wrote above carefully. Digest it slowly.. I wanted to say more but this very article actually laid everything you need to do..
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 27, 2016 at 8:16 am

Hi Simi,

are you going to try what Chris advised here?

Dari

August 23, 2016 at 2:36 am

I’ve been in an LDR for more than 3 years now, we only meet each other once a year because we’re 5000 miles apart. We used to talk everyday and Skype once a week. Slowly the Skype conversations became less frequent and now we don’t Skype at all. Now my boyfriend doesn’t even make much effort in talking to me. He is more of an introvert but not with me. Lately he’s been saying hurtful things, he even broke up with me a month back but I begged him to stay, now he is still my bf officially but I feel like it’s over already because it seems like he talks to me out of duty more than desire. Should I just end it? Have NC for sometime? I’m stuck mid air. I truly love him and want us to be happy together again. Please help.

Dari

August 28, 2016 at 6:31 pm

He broke up with me because he thought I got over him. That was because I was trying to pay him back with the same coin and made a lot of effort purposely ignoring him. I thought that would make him come back close. It did, but when I went on ignoring his calls and replying late to his messages for a week, he thought I was done with everything and gave up. I begged for him after that and now I feel like I’ve been taken for granted.
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 26, 2016 at 4:11 pm

hi Dari,

if you want, do nc first before giving up.. why dod he break up with you before?

rosy

July 24, 2016 at 11:00 am

Hii
I am into a long distant relationship.The guy has started ignoring me now.I read your article.i have made up my mind for no contact rule instead of begging.but i am afraid if will it work?What about the case he never responds.?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 27, 2016 at 8:26 am

Hi Rosy,

there’s no assurance that it will work..it can only increase your chances but in order for it to really help you, you have to improve yourselr, have personal growth and really start moving on and having your own life for him to see that you’re not going to chase him and then he would be more open to start being friendly again

Sin Ting Lau

July 23, 2016 at 11:13 am

Thanks for reply my message before! But what I can do? Actually I feel like he is not just into his X because if he really does so, he won’t want to see me again and will tell me that he back to his X as early as possible! so what should i do if i want to keep him and what should i do when i see him in august? And he also said to me that he is a man and he has “needs”. So I think his X is just a woman to fulfill his “needs”! Am i suitable to use those three steps to get back my playboy boyfriend?

Old message:
Actually i really need your help! Me and my boyfriend just broke up on monday! It made me really sad because he got back with his X after he took the surgery on June (he was emotional and depressed and his X take care of him at that time), but just told me right now! He said he feels sorry to his X and he thinks his X will never leave him! But he also said he still has feeling for me and ask me to be friend with him (but i reject and started NC rule)! Even in the coming August, i will come to Melbourne and he said he will escape from his X and spend time to see me and stay with me! I am just thinking is his X for him just a rebound relationship? And how i can get him back to my life? I need him a lot because i really luv him!

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 23, 2016 at 2:20 pm

continue on in nc.. focus in improving yourself and going out with friends and meeting new people too and read this one too:
How To Get Your Boyfriend Back If He’s “A Player”

hana

July 22, 2016 at 10:35 am

i met a guy 4 months ago and started LDR. after that we met and spent 3 whole days together. he was so happy to talk to me everyday and used to talk for hours on the phone. his mom also used to say that we will get engaged when he comes in the summer. after 4 months he suddenly came one day and tell me that he feels guilty sometimes and wants us to stop our relationship till we meet again when he comes back to my country in 2 weeks. he said distance was his problem but i tried to ask him if he met someone else but he said not at all and he prefers to talk when we meet and after that we decide whether we continue together or not. i am not able to understand why he didnt agree on waiting 2 weeks till we meet again to test his feelings and then decide what to do since when we met he was so happy with me. i am now applying NC rules but i am dying and feeling bad. what shall i do? he said he will call me when he comes to my country to talk

hana

July 22, 2016 at 12:45 pm

i know 4 months is a small period but i already love him
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 22, 2016 at 8:10 pm

Hi hana,

so you’re not broken up yet.. that’s good that you’re in nc now…use it in a way that he will think you have your own productive life.. go out with friends, finish the things or activities you have been putting off just be busy and be silent with him until you meet again

Béatrice

July 22, 2016 at 3:30 am

Hi,
I dumped my boyfriend a month ago after a 1 year LDR (we live in two neighbouring countries in Europe). We’ve never ever had a fight before and everything was fine at the first sight. During this month of no contact I had a lot of fun and stuff but today I broke up with a guy I slept with and then suddenly I realised that maybe my decision was a rush one. It was triggered by a brand new problem we’ve never had before so I guess it actually was manageable but I considered it was not. He got a job offer in Berlin and invited me to spend a weekend together since we hadn’t seen each other for 6 months at that point. I took the initiative (HUGE mistake!) and started to search for tickets and a hotel (he said his landlord didn’t allow him to invite people to his apartment) ’cause I wanted to catch low prices. When I sent him my suggestions he replied with a smiling emoji. I thought ‘What the…’ and got a bit angry (for the first time!) and said I wanted him to tell what dates he preferred. He said he can tell me once he arrives there. I was okay with that at first but it was actually the beginning of the end. My reasons to break up with him were:
1) we haven’t skyped that much lately
2) I had an impression that he expected me to organise the trip (also I’ve never had a reply to my question whether he would spend the night with me or at his place so I was wandering who should pay)
3) I was annoyed by his worries about our relationship (legitimate though ’cause I started to avoid writing him often) and missed being single.
He told me per usual that he loves me and asked if I do love him. I would usually say ‘me too’ but not at that moment. So I said I had no such feelings for him as before anymore and I need a break. He blamed me to ruin everything although he loves me to death and said he was hurt. Also my thoughts about breaking up and our last conversation occurred on the same day which is pretty quick I guess. So now I wonder if he’s too angry with me and would it be appropriate to text him whereas he didn’t text me at all after our breakup… What do you think?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 22, 2016 at 7:43 pm

Hi beatrice

if a lot of time has passed, it’s ok to initiate contact coz he probably has cooled off

Anya

July 21, 2016 at 11:33 pm

Also adding to what I said, I told him straight up, if he really wants me, put some effort because I am done trying. And I told him, only time will tell but if our conversations are still going to be dead and one sided, I am moving on after 3 months and to not talk to me again

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 22, 2016 at 6:05 pm

based on your previous comments..he is just going to get on the ride until the three months is over if he still you as the old you

Anya

July 21, 2016 at 11:32 pm

To be honest, I think a part of me is moving on already…I told him straight up that i will not be chasing him anymore and that if someone wants to be in my life theyll put the effort and time. If not its a waste of my time and I told him that there would be no reason for us to be friends then if youre not serious. (I basically used his own words and I said it back to him). He said he understands where I am coming from. So later, after careful thought, I told him I’m only gonna keep talking to him for 3 months. And see how it progresses from there. If after 3 months there is no improvements or anything and if I feel like i don’t like him anymore or just too friendzoned, I told him I will be moving on and for him to not contact me anymore. He said okay. With a period at the end of the okay.

At this point, i feel like i’ve lost all emotions & already moved on…Do you think that was a bad mistake on my behalf to tell him all that? What do you think is going thru his mind?
faith

July 21, 2016 at 7:30 pm

Hello again, I wrote to my ex after 21 days of NC rule, I waited 2 weeks like you suggested to write him again and I did, I got a positive response was really optimistic, after 2 days I write him again, and now he tells me “I don’t think it’s a good idea you write…” I’m upset, sad, mixed… What would you recommend?

faith

July 23, 2016 at 3:41 pm

Thanks for respond me, so I do casual conversation?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 25, 2016 at 1:50 pm

you’re welcome.. yes, make it more natural
faith

July 23, 2016 at 12:19 am

i have to admit that he didn’t respond my message, and after 2 hours I wrote him about a celebration of his country that day and responded me “I think it’s not a good idea you write” … What do you recommend?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 23, 2016 at 9:25 am

oh..that means you can’t do another memory text.. it’s better if you rest for a week before texting again
faith

July 22, 2016 at 7:10 pm

I wrote him, a memory we had, when we were in a rush to take the train to go to a city, I told him that I was preparing for a race and it remembered that moment we had. Thanks for the respond
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 22, 2016 at 5:24 pm

Hi Faith,

what was the 2nd text?

Sin Ting Lau

July 21, 2016 at 11:59 am

Actually i really need your help! Me and my boyfriend just broke up on monday! It made me really sad because he got back with his X after he took the surgery on June (he was emotional and depressed and his X take care of him at that time), but just told me right now! He said he feels sorry to his X and he thinks his X will never leave him! But he also said he still has feeling for me and ask me to be friend with him (but i reject and started NC rule)! Even in the coming August, i will come to Melbourne and he said he will escape from his X and spend time to see me and stay with me! I am just thinking is his X for him just a rebound relationship? And how i can get him back to my life? I need him a lot because i really luv him!

Sin Ting Lau

July 23, 2016 at 3:21 pm

so should i hug him when he pick me up in airport? and should i be talkative when he is around?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 25, 2016 at 10:40 am

friendly hug is ok.. and yes be light..just don’t be intimate
Sin Ting Lau

July 23, 2016 at 11:09 am

So what I can do? Actually I feel like he is not just into his X because if he really does so, he won’t want to see me again and will tell me that he back to his X as early as possible! So what should i do when I see him in august? And he also said to me that he is a man and he has “needs”. So I think his X is just a woman to fulfill his “needs”! Is it true?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 23, 2016 at 2:20 pm

continue on in nc.. focus in improving yourself and going out with friends and meeting new people too and read this one too:
How To Get Your Boyfriend Back If He’s “A Player”
Sin Ting Lau

July 21, 2016 at 2:01 pm

Sorry forget to mention we are lDRs’ couple! Hong Kong & Australia!
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 22, 2016 at 12:16 pm

Hi Sin Ting Lau,

Sorry to say this, but he’s a coward.. if he feels he owes his x, he just have to be honest with her.. That’s good that you started no contact.. be active with yourself.. he needs to realize you’re not going along with his plan of keeping you both.. he has to man up..

jennifer

July 20, 2016 at 10:23 pm

I was dating my boyfriend ( now ex) for about 2 years. Last December, he decided to go back to where his family was because his parents suggested that he go back to study to get into the top mba school. Once he had this conversation with his parents, he told me of the situation and asked if it was okay for him to go. Because he was working and going on business trips, he did not have time to focus on just studying for the GMAT, so his parents suggested him to come home and just study. I of course, wanted to say “NO” because I don’t want to do a long distance and who knows what would happen after he leaves, but I said okay… because I did not want to stop his future plans. It killed me inside, but I let him go. He promised that he will study hard and come back after 6 months, in hopes of getting the score he wanted for GMAT. We were doing fine with the long distance relationship, but his studying was not improving and he couldn’t get the score he wanted so he can go into one of the top mba schools.. So his plan of coming back after 6 months was postponed.

Sometime around April, I began to realize the conversation he was having with me was changing. He wasn’t saying much words that secured me like “I love you” and replies were getting late and late. So I confronted him about it, and as he thought about it he said that maybe we should have a break. From previous relationships, I hated the fact of having a break. I didn’t message or call him for a day, and then I couldn’t hold it in and so I called him back. He said he was thinking about us a lot, and he was having a hard time. So, I said that we should try to fix our relationship together, and he agreed. i told him that we should skype every once a week, because we would skype about once or twice a month. He agreed to this, and I thought it was okay. However, I still felt there was something missing in the relationship. He still felt distant, and all he was doing was “studying.” I had so many assumptions in my head of “is he really studying?” “is he meeting a girl but not saying anything?” “what is he doing” but I could not tell him anything.

Our anniversary passed last weekend, and then a few days later, we were set to have a skype chat. Instead, he calls me without doing a facetime, saying we should break up. He tells me he doesn’t love me anymore. I asked him if he has someone, but he said no, and that was it. He tells me that he doesn’t know when he will get this exam finished, which school he will get accepted and go, and he may not even get to one of the schools that would be nearby me.. He said he’s been thinking about this for a while and it just seems he led me on this whole time, because he never gave me a hint of problems he had towards me..

I am so crushed, because I tried my hardest to keep this relationship going, but he just gave up so easily. I haven’t talked or called him since, but I am so burdened with this. I keep thinking I did something wrong with this relationship, but I don’t know what it is… Do you guys think I did something wrong? or he has someone? Should I just let him go? Should I talk to him once more? It just sucks, cuz we were good friends before we dated, and I would always tell him everything. Now, I don’t have that person to talk to anymore, and it hurts.

He said we can still be friends if I want. I keep having these comments on replay in my head and it is hurting me every time. I remember he would be friends with his ex, but he would reply late or ignore it and what not. And when he told me of his ex before, it just feels like it was the same. He had some issues with his family and what not, and then later, his ex wanted a break. and after the break, he broke it off with his ex. So, it’s like he’s putting me in the same place.. Is there even a chance that he still has feelings for me and that I can get him back..?

jennifer

July 23, 2016 at 7:30 pm

I have started the no contact, and it’s already been a week. His birthday is right around the corner, and at first, I was thinking of calling him, but I am deciding to not call him anymore. How long should I NC for ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 26, 2016 at 7:36 am

do 30 days.. if the bday is in nc,.that means you can’t greet him
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 21, 2016 at 7:53 pm

hi Jennifer,
Start no contact instead.. let him be for now and focus on yourself only

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