How To Get A Long Distance Relationship Ex Boyfriend Back

5,234 thoughts on “The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship”

Anya

July 19, 2016 at 10:44 pm

I think we wont do NC…do you think itll decrease chances? We both decided that its either we text each other and try or we dont talk at all and dont try. But its so hard to slowly get our convos to be normal again. What do you think? I dont know how to attract my ex into liking me all over again without him seeing me as my old self. We wont do NC because he researched and knows what NC is and said it wont work on him. But his words were….this is our time off, when I am back from the army we will try again as changed people for a new relationship or we dont try at all. And he said its my choice what to do or I can block him because he doesnt care anymore because he already gave the option of trying but we still keep getting into small arguments because it seems like hes not putting enough effort into rebuilding as friends first.

how long will this go until you think we will be okay again friends and for his feelings to come back? We always run out of conversations to text about too..

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 21, 2016 at 1:15 pm

he knows what it is but he doesn’t expect you to really do it and move on..he knows how much you want him and how long you’re willing to wait..that’s why he just ignores you whenever he wants..

and because he knows about nc, he will just shrug off you ignoring him and see when you won’t be able to take it and message him…

and now, you’re just following whatever he says but not getting the results you want..
think about it carefully.. what kind of a girl do men respect and get attracted to?

it’s the girl who knows what her standards are, and how she should be treated..She knows when to walk away without beung rude to the other person..and she always strives to improve herself.. she gives value but doesn’t chase.. If she knows she’s being strung along.. it would be a hard time for the guy to regain her trust.. making the guy want to work for her more

Marian

July 19, 2016 at 1:42 am

Hi,

My (ex) boyfriend and I were dating for 2 and a half years when I moved across the country for school for 2 years. Somehow we made it through the first year of the LDR. After our recent fight (we are guilty of fighting, calling it off for a few days and then getting back into it again), he decided to call it quits because we already had a lot of problems and the LDR wasn’t making it better. He feels alone and craves companionship. During this time, I had to go abroad for 3 weeks and we agreed that we would stay civil and not see anyone until I get back and we can talk it over via Skype. During those weeks, he acted like my boyfriend and I thought everything went back to normal as it usually does but to my horror/surprise, he was sticking to his guns and I panicked. Basically, in the last 2 weeks of him reiterating that this is hard for him to do but we both have to move on, I broke every rule in the book trying to get him to reconsider and show that I can make the LDR better. I only stopped trying 2 days ago. Is it too late for me to start NC for a month? He’s very sociable and will have no problem getting that companionship even though he told me that he’s not in that mindset but if it happens, it’s part of moving on. I’m afraid that disappearing from his life out of the blue for that long will give him the signal that I’m no longer interested and I cannot see myself back with him if he does start seeing other women.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 20, 2016 at 1:55 pm

hi Marian,

that’s one of the things he has to think because if he sees how much you’ve improved and yet you’re not chasing him, then it will.increase the.chances of him being attracted back to you

Blair

July 18, 2016 at 6:35 pm

Hi Amor!
I posted before but my post seemed to have gotten lost so I’m gonna make a recap of my situation (in case the previous post resurfaces again). I’d really appreciate your input!
My LDR boyfriend of 5 years and I broke up two weeks ago by a mutual decision because he isn’t happy in the distance but also isn’t certain I’m the one, therefore isn’t sure he wants to shorten the distance (though if we did, we would’ve done it a year from now and I would be doing the moving). He wants to find himself, gain experience with other women, says he isn’t sure about us and needs to be on his own for now. He also points out that I need to find my happiness without him and not let my moods be dictated so much based on how he feels about me (which is true. It pains me that he isn’t sure I’m the one, but I accept that I can be very dependent and that has taken its toll on us). We still have feelings for each other and on skype he listed other reasons, such as us not being a good match and not having the same feelings for me any longer, but when we met in person to discuss this, he confessed that being in person changes things and wasn’t so sure whether to break up (I pulled the plug though I was so against breaking up, I just knew we’d patch things for a while and then they’ll resurface a month later). We agreed that if we change for the better and if we’re meant to be, the door may be open to continue one day and I made it clear to him that I’m letting him go to allow us the chance of a committed relationship one day, and that I’m not actually giving up on him, he was okay with that. So in that sense, I don’t want to get him back just yet, I want him back when the time is right. Of course I’m very impatient and is very hard, especially since I’m uncertain how to proceed until that day hopefully comes.

In the meantime, we already discussed and promised to stay in contact and be there for each other if it gets too hard. We check up on each other frequently and have spoken on facetime twice since (so once a week so far). We would also most likely get together when we see each other in person and would want to kiss, etc. (which may happen in just over two months for reasons that may get us in the same city for a few days). Still, I was sort of the one who got dumped, even though I eventually saw the mature way to handle it, and as such, I don’t initiate contact, only answer to what he texts or calls and don’t say back babe, even though he warned me he may still feel like calling me that and he does all the time. A few days ago I found out about NC and am now doubting how to proceed (he didn’t text for 3 days and then on the 4th he texted, and I still haven’t answered – it’s day 5. I want to answer since we already have an agreement how to handle the breakup and I don’t want to turn weird but I’ll keep quiet until I hopefully hear from you and sort it out in my mind what the best course of action is).

The reason I’m tempted to change my attitude to NC is the benefit that the attraction may come back and he may start to miss me. I know a large part of the NC is to give myself time to heal and improve, find hobbies and things I always wanted to do (and so does he), but we are already doing that – I’m already traveling, signed up for courses I always wanted to have time for, and I know he’s done similar things, too, we really encourage each other to go out there and find ourselves. So I’m curious whether I should do NC at all then – of course I want him to start missing me when he doesn’t hear from me in 30 days but I also know that is not our answer – I don’t want us to get back just because we miss each other and because he’s scared I may move on to another guy. I want to get back with him when he’s ready to settle down (and frankly, when I am too. I am just so certain he’s the one and I want life with him that I haven’t stopped to think if I’m happy in the relationship and have not been for a while) and is sure he wants me. Last week when we spoke, he said he is happy I’m giving him this time to think and figure things out but is thinking about me a lot. Plus, we already discussed maturely how we’ll act post-breakup and me suddenly turning my back on him and shutting up without a warning may elicit the wrong reaction, making him wonder what kind of games I’m playing when I clearly stated I was okay with chatting and checking up on each other. I know you guys are huge advocates of the NC rule and I can objectively say I think it’s a winner rule, but I really feel like my situation is special and delicate (who doesn’t?) and am second guessing if it’s the right call for me. Therefore, I would be so eternally grateful if you could objectively evaluate my case and advise me on how to proceed? Maybe there is an in-between option that could earn the same effect? I really don’t know. I just want to have the best chance to “remain in the game” while perfecting myself and waiting for him to experience life and find himself, I want to keep those remaining romantic feelings he still has for me alive and slowly nourish them to what they used to be until we are confident enough to give it a new chance. Thank you!!!

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 20, 2016 at 11:00 am

hi blair,

I actually answered your first comment.. I’ll just paste my answer from there here..
of nowhere despite his sweetness for a month. Please any advice would be so greatly appreciated, I know he is the right person but I don’t want to have the wrong reaction to this situation and risk never having a real chance. Thanks! B.

REPLY
AmorUrate
EBR TEAM MEMBER: AMOR
July 18, 2016 (Edit)
Hi Bw,

he still wants to be romantic even if you’re just friends? it sounds like it’s going to end up in a friends with benefits situation..

what I don’t get is that you said the freauency of the texts and calls will lessen over time..so.you know he will drift away later on..

but you don’t want to do nc is now in the hope from the sweet messages he still sends? but that doesn’t change his decision to experience more girls right?
For me, you have to do nc to improve in the level of getting the ungettable girl level.. because once he sees you that way, there’s a higher chance if him wanting you back because it’s like you’re the one that got away since he probably didn’t expect you to really move on and improve to that level knowing how much you love him and want him back

The ex boyfriend

July 18, 2016 at 11:14 am

I don’t know how I landed on this page. Maybe I was trying to figure out how my ex girlfriend is feeling and the efforts she would be making to be over me.
We were doing LDR for about 2 years and then kept in touch for another year after that, in that period we were open to the idea of hooking up with others, maybe I was more open but I dont blame myself since we were not dating. Just in touch.
Even though she belongs to the same city as me, but for the last 3 years, We were not just in different cities or countries but different continents and even hemispheres. Time difference and all got on to us, fights became a regular thing. It started getting on to me. Whenever she was visiting home, we used to hook up and it was great honestly. But the day she used to go back, the entire loop would start again. And since the distance was too much, we managed to meet once a year or so for month max.
She had no immediate plans of coming back and I have no plans of moving out not coz I love her any less but coz I’m working here with family and I can’t leave. Our future seemed bleak. Hence 6 months back, I decided to step out of the loop. Told her we shouldn’t hook up once she’s back. And that it’s not good to express feelings of love as we need to get over each other. Initially she took it very casually and in a light manner.
In the last one year that we were not together, I met spoke to a lot of girls, hooked up with a few of them, but never felt like taking it forward with any of them coz it never felt right. Now fortunately/unfortunately, in these 6 months time that I told my ex we should move on, I found someone I really got interested in and now eventually I’m dating her.
Here is where it all breaks down. My ex got back in town and has been here since last 5 months. She is broken apart. I cant describe how torn apart she is. Earlier when we never used to be together, things never hurt her. But now that she saw me move on, it went through her heart like a spear. I feel so tied up in this situation coz the girl I am with, I wouldn’t wanna hurt her too coz we are deep in this now.
But seeing my ex who has been the love of my life for the last 3 years. Being so far away, just being in touch every single day, being each others support all this while. Being there for each other. Now it’s come down to living 2 miles apart but havent seen each others face in 2 months.
Her friends and my friends suggest me to stay away from her and give her time to move on (since they think I’ve moved on and its only fair). She probably hates me for leaving her (and being with someone else).
I tried to tell her that I didn’t do this for me, but for both of us, since our future was bleak and nothing was definite. And she was gonna go for further studies for 4 more years. If we would’ve fallen apart at a later stage, it would’ve been worse for us to deal with it. I was looking out for both of us.
She won’t believe any of this now. I hope she does one day. I really care for her and want to look out for her. If given a chance, I’d go see her every single day, if that made her smile. But right now I’m the reason for her pain.
It sucks to be in this situation since I only wished well for her. But she’s broken right now and I’m with someone else. She’ll hate me for I dont know how much longer. But I dont ever want her to think I left her for another girl, coz I’d never do that to her. Not for anyone.
This was more of a venting out from my side trying to lighten the burden off my chest for giving her pain.

My piece of advice to all of you still in long distance, Please try to plan a future together, no matter how young or not ready you guys are. Once you plan life to be a certain way, and start taking baby steps towards it, the light at the end of the tunnel keeps appearing closer and within range. Thats the mistake we made, future was so bleak.

I’ll never find anyone like her, and share the connection I shared with her. I just hope she’s better and happier wherever she goes.

The ex boyfriend

July 20, 2016 at 7:43 am

I don’t see us being back again. She’s going away to a different country this time for 4 years.
All I want is to clear the air and to put my point across that my decision to part ways was for the best and it was the sensible thing to do, as we were heading nowhere. She hates me right now, and we havent spoken in over 2 months. I think I should communicate these things.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 21, 2016 at 3:10 pm

of she hates you right now..you have to give her time and space to cool off
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 19, 2016 at 6:56 pm

hi ex boyfriend,

if you really want her back, you have to let her heal but you also have to break up with who you’re with once you make an effort for her again

Anya

July 17, 2016 at 10:52 pm

Help I just screwed everything up. I broke the NC rule and it hurt because he broke a promise that he wont like other girls pics and I wont either because were holding on. i saw some pics he liked of some girls and I immediately texting him saying what happened to our promise? Then i told him why i didnt text him for 2 days that I was trying to improve myself. Help I dont know what to do. I just ruined everything. He is still sleeping and has yet to respond.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 19, 2016 at 1:25 pm

Hi Anya,

so, it’s more clear now that he just said that to make you feel better..

it was pretty bad that you said you were doing nc to improve yourself for him.. coz that’s chasing…

and the proper no contact procedure is for you.. not just for him.. you have to heal and find yourself so you can pick yourself up to pieces.. when you do it genuinely for yourself to improve and gain confidence..that helps to increase your chances of him wanting you back because he sees you as an ungettable girl

Leigh

July 17, 2016 at 7:37 pm

I met a guy online, we hit it off right away. Talked texted everyday and skyped often. After 3 months of this we finally met in person. We had an amazing 6 days together. Intense and full of emotion. I should preface that he said he was falling in love with me peior to this meeting and I had said I loved him. He is recently seperated and going through a rough divorce, there are young kids involved. After I left the firs couple of days were good. He tokd me how much he missed and what I meant to him and we had agreed we were boyfriend/girlfriend. I currently live very far away, 13 hrs and have recently accepted an offer with my job to relocate only 3 hrs away. We agreed we wanted to see eachother again asap so I bought a ticket to go back in two weeks. The next day he had a major blow out with his ex and things went south. He now wasnt sure what he wanted and needed time to think and reflect. He is struggling getting over not having his home and being around his kids as much. So I agreed we needed space and that I wished him the best. Since I said that two days ago he says he is surprised we cant still talk as friends. I would like to implement the no contact rule but I am not sure how to do that without appearing like I never want to speak to him again. I want him back, but I need advice on the best way to approach it from this point.
Anya

July 17, 2016 at 5:38 pm

Do you believe in couples that break up due to distance only to try again in the future?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 19, 2016 at 1:26 pm

Hi Anya,

so, it’s more clear now that he just said that to make you feel better..

it was pretty bad that you said you were doing nc to improve yourself for him.. coz that’s chasing…

and the proper no contact procedure is for you.. not just for him.. you have to heal and find yourself so you can pick yourself up to pieces.. when you do it genuinely for yourself to improve and gain confidence..that helps to increase your chances of him wanting you back because he sees you as an ungettable girl

Anya

July 17, 2016 at 5:18 pm

What do you think will go through his mind when I tell him I need some time alone? Do you think he will hate me? When I start talking to him would it be weird again? I want to just text him now..

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 19, 2016 at 1:26 pm

Hi Anya,

so, it’s more clear now that he just said that to make you feel better..

it was pretty bad that you said you were doing nc to improve yourself for him.. coz that’s chasing…

and the proper no contact procedure is for you.. not just for him.. you have to heal and find yourself so you can pick yourself up to pieces.. when you do it genuinely for yourself to improve and gain confidence..that helps to increase your chances of him wanting you back because he sees you as an ungettable girl

Anya

July 17, 2016 at 2:16 pm

update he had been texting me randomly saying random things like what he ate and what he did today etc. i ignored it. I read in other places that an ex that wants to stay friends and get back together in the future, NC is a bad idea. I dont know what to do. It is day 2 of NC and I feel like I might be hurting the relationship I’ve read all your articles on NC.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 17, 2016 at 4:45 pm

in your case, he will simply friendzone you if you keep talking to him now because he’s still going to the army.. don’t rush things.. if you do a month of nc, you’ll have 4 months to rebuild rapport and increase attraction but that doesn’t mean he will get back to you surely after 4 months because the real issue is the distance when he’s in the army.. you’re just going to use this time to make him miss you when he’s gone..

if you keep being friends now, and you didn’t improve, he will still see the old you and the old problems that he sees that will probably happen while he’s in the army..

I understand that you want to keep him in your hands right now in the hope to maybe build more rapport now but if you’re not changing and if he’s not seeing you as somebody that can leave him if not taken care of, then he will keep playing safe..

to ease your worries, tell him you need time alone for yourself now to heal… and then when you’re ready to be friends again, you’ll reach out to him..

don’t tell him that you’re going to do a month of nc.. and then be very active in starting a new routine during nc to improve yourself, be active in social media too and then continue those activities even after nc

B.W.

July 17, 2016 at 1:32 pm

Hi!
My LDR boyfriend of many years and I just split a few weeks ago because he was tired of the distance but also wasn’t ready to commit and didn’t see future with me (we’ve always lived apart and I finally planned on moving in his country next year but he didn’t like that idea too much precisely because he isn’t sure I’m the one – so a bit of a vicious circle). Also he confessed he wanted to be physically with other girls and though isn’t planning on dating, said sex is just something he things he’ll regret later on if he doesn’t do now (I admit this may be partially because our ”digital flame” died out about a year ago and I mentioned that it was a problem but I guess it was too late and he had made his mind up that he was missing out). So, all in all the reasons to break up were multifactorial but bottom line was he wasn’t happy anymore. Though, he still has feelings for me and in the end was doubting whether he’s not making a mistake and was suggesting we give it another go. It broke my heart but I put my foot down and said that there was no point if he wasn’t happy (he’s been complaining a few times before about this and we always tried to patch things but I knew it wasn’t a solution). So we split amicably but I told him this is my way of ensuring that we can have a chance at a stable relationship in the future, that I’m not giving up on him because he doesn’t want me right now, but just letting him go and giving him the time and space to find himself and gain life experience so that hopefully we can end up together. He said he can’t promise anything but agreed that if we’re meant to be, we’ll find our way back to each other again. I am still planning to continue my career in his country next year out of pure professional reasons but if our minds are at the right place this time next year, it will certainly give us an advantage as opposed to still being in a futureless LDR.
In the meantime, we’ve been texting few times a week and calling around once a week, though I’m expecting these numbers to gradually decrease with time.
Having read your article on LDR relationships, I think the post-NC steps would be wrong of me to take – I could of course subtly hint on a remark that would make him jealous, pay him a compliment, or subtly suggest I miss him after I break contact for 30 days and I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt but I have a feeling if I do them with the intention of steering the mood towards seeing each other in person eventually and discussing getting back together, it will defeat the purpose of us splitting up and it will pressure him into coming back to me before he’s ready (we did sort of agree that if that moment ever comes, he will be the one to tell me he wants to try again – I of course can hardly deal with not being in control and not knowing when and if that time will ever come).
But then that makes me wonder — would the NC period be beneficial at all to me then? He is the one to always initialize the texting or the calling, he still uses my pet name to call me with when he texts, I am friendly but more reserved in my answers. Would there be point in suddenly ceasing contact with him for a month if, even after the month expires, I still won’t be making active steps towards pulling him back to me? Wouldn’t I just push him further away? I understood that NC is meant to make them miss you and realize what it feels like to not have you around them, but even at the breakup he said he has feelings for me and it isn’t easy on him either, a few days ago on the phone he said even though we don’t talk much he thinks about me a lot and it’s good of me to give him time to think things over. So, I feel like I’m in a very delicate situation. We agreed that we will both work on ourselves, I need to grow up and become more independent, find my own goals to pursue, and so does he, though he is also more oriented towards gaining more life/women experience, but we split up telling each other that we will be there for each other and we will remain friends. Since I live in his home country and he lives abroad, we also talked about seeing each other when he comes to visit family and he confessed he will most likely want to engage in romantic behavior when we see each other if I’m ok with it (we held hands and hugged and kissed the entire week when I went over to him to break up, and as already mentioned, he calls me pet names even now when he texts). So I thought this was how things were gonna go down for us, but after having come across this website, I’m now wondering if I’m doing things wrong and should just cut him out out of nowhere despite his sweetness for a month. Please any advice would be so greatly appreciated, I know he is the right person but I don’t want to have the wrong reaction to this situation and risk never having a real chance. Thanks! B.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 18, 2016 at 8:45 pm

Hi Bw,

he still wants to be romantic even if you’re just friends? it sounds like it’s going to end up in a friends with benefits situation..

what I don’t get is that you said the freauency of the texts and calls will lessen over time..so.you know he will drift away later on..

but you don’t want to do nc is now in the hope from the sweet messages he still sends? but that doesn’t change his decision to experience more girls right?
For me, you have to do nc to improve in the level of getting the ungettable girl level.. because once he sees you that way, there’s a higher chance if him wanting you back because it’s like you’re the one that got away since he probably didn’t expect you to really move on and improve to that level knowing how much you love him and want him back

Anya

July 16, 2016 at 10:43 pm

Should I shorten the days of NC since my situation is different. It is very hard and risky since we agreed if we talk great for these next couple months, he will see it as a good sign for us to get together again in 2 years. Like without all the lil arguments about nothing and for me to slowly trust him, we would’ve been completely fine.

But if I suddenly do NC, all that talk for the past 3 days we had for our mutual agreements wouldve gone to a waste? I kept asking for reassurance that he means it so I dont waste my time and he said if you dont have faith then im wasting my time too. Sorry if I keep saying the same thing again and again. Its a different situaton then most comments I have read. Should I limist NC to maybe 7 days?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 17, 2016 at 4:45 pm

in your case, he will simply friendzone you if you keep talking to him now because he’s still going to the army.. don’t rush things.. if you do a month of nc, you’ll have 4 months to rebuild rapport and increase attraction but that doesn’t mean he will get back to you surely after 4 months because the real issue is the distance when he’s in the army.. you’re just going to use this time to make him miss you when he’s gone..

if you keep being friends now, and you didn’t improve, he will still see the old you and the old problems that he sees that will probably happen while he’s in the army..

I understand that you want to keep him in your hands right now in the hope to maybe build more rapport now but if you’re not changing and if he’s not seeing you as somebody that can leave him if not taken care of, then he will keep playing safe..

to ease your worries, tell him you need time alone for yourself now to heal… and then when you’re ready to be friends again, you’ll reach out to him..

don’t tell him that you’re going to do a month of nc.. and then be very active in starting a new routine during nc to improve yourself, be active in social media too and then continue those activities even after nc

Anya

July 16, 2016 at 6:04 pm

My situation is tricky. So does that mean NC will work and then continue talk before he goes to the army? Will the NC rule affect us when we try again in the future? Today is day one of me trying the NC rule. So far he sent me 2 snapchats and ignored them.

Also is there an article about what to talk about when trying again in the future with your ex considering you both know so much about each other? Topics to keep him interested?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 16, 2016 at 9:47 pm

it’s not a guarantee that nc will get him back but it will help you increase your chances..

basically with you, do nc now and focus in improcing yourself and having your own life to spark attraction back and for him to want you back and think that you’re independent enough to handle a long distance relationship when he goes to the army…

basically making him think that he can’t afford to lose somebody like you while he’s in the army by improving yourself and making it seem that you’re moving on.. he has to see that you’re not going to wait forever

Anya

July 15, 2016 at 8:44 pm

Hi, sorry again for the comments. I am debating on doong the NC rule or not. Its very risky in terms of promising we will text each other and not let one anothers text hang for more than a day. When he is out he wont text me for hours. But I feel like if I do NC for even 2 days, he will think I am over him or something. Sometimes he doesnt text me back and ignores my message bc he probably has no topic to talk about so I would double text because I dont want us to die out or we will never be together again after the army.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 16, 2016 at 3:42 pm

well, he is already moving on…and you staying doesn’t cultivate any feelings.. you’ll jusymt end up being friendzoned because he sees how much you want him and that you’re doing all of this for that..just to keep him..

he’s already set that there’s less chance of your relationship working long distance, especially if he sees how you want him… a guy is attracted more to a strong girl.. to a girl that they see they have to work for to keep her.. someone confident and independent

Anya

July 15, 2016 at 7:40 pm

Hello, yes i am afraid NC will make him forget about me. I read the article you recommended. But the way we ended things first was badly because I tried to fight for him back and said some things . But then it ended up being i guess a good term break up because of our agreements and how we will be together again. He is already out a lot so late with his friends drinking and such. He takes a long time to text me back and I feel like due to having his friends back again from high school, that he will slowly get over me. The NC rule I just dont know if its a risk or if it will get him to miss me. But he is always out drinking since the country he is in its legal drinking age. In the US he couldnt do that.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 16, 2016 at 3:42 pm

well, he is already moving on…and you staying doesn’t cultivate any feelings.. you’ll jusymt end up being friendzoned because he sees how much you want him and that you’re doing all of this for that..just to keep him..

he’s already set that there’s less chance of your relationship working long distance, especially if he sees how you want him… a guy is attracted more to a strong girl.. to a girl that they see they have to work for to keep her.. someone confident and independent

Anya

July 15, 2016 at 2:45 pm

Adding to my comment, should I start the NC rule for 30 days even though were friends to thatll text everyday. I want him back and i cant text him without feeling hurt and sad still. But he refuses due to the army. Which wont be for another 5 months. Would the NC rule hurt our friendship right now or should I continue talking to him as friends. I feel like he will be over me soon. Hes back and he’s drinking etc with his guy friends but he promised me he wont see anu girls because hes holding onto us for the future.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 15, 2016 at 6:49 pm

HI Anya,

did you read the blog article I recommended? Basically, he most probably thinks it wouldn’t work out because 2 years is a long time. Are you afraid that nc will make him get over you? hmmm.. if you don’t do it, does it mean he won’t get over you?

Anya

July 15, 2016 at 1:31 pm

Hi! What do you think the reason a guy would break up with you due to long distance relationship would be? My guy has the army in December…it is 5 months away. He will be gone for 2 years but I dont get why so early we broke up? We are still texting like normally without the i love yous etc in a relationship. It is so hard for me to text him. I want to do the NC rule but we both promised we will text everyday and be together again in 2 years. He is in a different country than me so its already long distance but we have 5 months to still love and talk before he goes off to the army. I dont get it

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 15, 2016 at 6:49 pm

HI Anya,

did you read the blog article I recommended? Basically, he most probably thinks it wouldn’t work out because 2 years is a long time. Are you afraid that nc will make him get over you? hmmm.. if you don’t do it, does it mean he won’t get over you?

chi

July 15, 2016 at 11:02 am

he doesnt want to visit me anymore he enjoy the life in the US and decided stay there for good…. he said lets fate guide us. If we really meant e we’re meant to be… 🙁 theres nothing I can do to change his mind.
chi

July 14, 2016 at 7:31 am

Im in same situation right now. We been together for 4 yrs and half and we’re very happy couple. Until time comes that his visa moving to the US was approved.. as an immigrant.. and im in Asia in the other side of the globe.. He made promises that he only stay there for 2yrs to save money and be with his parents and go back so we could be together again and to do our future plans, marrying and have children with business of our own..and grow old together. For the 1st month being far from each other he seems really lonely and misses me alot and wanna go back here. On the 2nd month he found a jobs that really consume much of his time we cant barely talk.. he always get home late and msgs me just to say his tired and about to sleep. As the days past he never told me whats goin on and he really seems so cold so aloof in my every message he always changing topic.. Then I found out that he made a new fb from his friends at work he keep on denying it for days we come to a huge fight and he decided to ask me if we could just be friends. He said he was confused he doesnt know what he wants anymore.. he said sorry for being such naughty bf but he said he did his best but it always getting harder to be faithful coz im too far away. He keep on denying stuffs directly but with words he said he somehow literaly admit it.Then he said he doesnt have a direction anymore he just go with the flow and leave it in Gods hand. He said he wanted to do things he never expected he would do..he said he doesnt wana go back here and stay there for good he said maybe we’re not meant to be together.. he doesnt want to pursue our plans anymore the marriage the children the business all of are plans go to waste..that ldr is so difficult.all the things that we been through the good times and the bad times seems just threw away in just 2months away from him.. He doesnt want to work out the relationship with me.. He only wants me to be his friend for some reason that he misses me everytime. He said Im the only girl he love the most but doesnt what to have a relationship and any other plans with me.. Im doing the NC for 4 days now and he were trying to contact me making conversation 2days ago but I refuse to engage with that.. I wana give him time to think what he really wants cause he said he needs time to think.. I could feel that he only doing a delaying tactics to hang inour relationship for me be the one to kick him so he always blame me for it or. waiting for the other girls relationship to work out.. and if it wont he can always go back to me as a fall back to…me a reserve. Thats what im thinking.. Any thought pls send a comments.. Btw im 28 his 22 age gap can be a factor..i just looking alot younger than him physicaly.I appreciate any advice thanks…

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 14, 2016 at 8:02 pm

Hi Chi,

you’re probably right coz he’s still young.. how many times can he visit you in a year?

Anya

July 13, 2016 at 8:12 pm

Hi, me and my boyfriend broke up due to the fact he has to go to the army for 1-2 years. So that is long distance related. We also broke up due to couple of fights this past year about trust and my anxiety which made me push him away at times and I never meant it. But he stuck through it all but now he wants to not deal with it all before he leaves for the military in 2 months. We are now couple days into our LDR. But he said we can be friends.

I was scared and wasnt sure if he will text me still as friends and he told me if I have 0 faith in him that he will be willing to try that then I am wasting his time. He says that he cant guarentee anything in 2 yrs but he will give it a shot with “us” again and he wants to see a change from me. What does it mean cant guarentee anything? That he will suddenly change his mind in 2 years after our mutual agreements? We both came up with mutual agreements that we will still text each other everyday & he said he wont go chasing girls either. We both agreed that we will save room for each other for the future and to start fresh but like i said he said its not guaranteed. I told him i was afraid if youre just using the typical guy line and he told me “if thats what you think then think that we dont have to be friends”. I am very confused and I dont know what to do. I want to keep texting him everyday like we both agreed because he said our conversations will be what he will hold onto from the both of us to see if there will be an “us” when he is back from the army. Were not in a relationship but he said he will have our memories to hold onto something for the future before the army and he will have it in to himself as in that in his mind he will hold onto us. How do i know that this isnt another typical break up line? It hurts to text him because I cannot tell him I love him or that I miss him and I have some many pics of us that was supposed to be uploaded into social media. But I want to keep texting and maybe change the way I behave thru text. Should I do this due to our mutual agreement? What about the NC rule?
Please help me !

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 14, 2016 at 5:28 pm

Hi Anya,

I think he meant nothing is guaranteed because of the nature of his job
It’s dangerous and the it’s erratic..he can be assigned to a different place again during it and it can also be because he sees you don’t have trust in him.. he can’t keep making an effort if he feels doubted always..
This is what you should read:
Getting An Army, Military Or Navy Ex Boyfriend Back

Mandy

July 12, 2016 at 12:10 am

Hi, I could really use some advice. A month ago, my (almost) 3 year relationship with my fiance ended out of nowhere. He lives in California and is in the Marines and I am in Colorado. He’s only been in since August of last year, but I haven’t seen him since December. He said he needed some time to figure his life out and work on things, that he wasn’t happy anymore. Long story short, I did not handle the breakup well. I constantly texted him, called him, talked to his mom, had my friends text him (yea, I know. I shouldn’t have.) until things came to a horribly ugly conclusion. It appears he’s found a rebound. Initially, he told my best friend he was planning on returning things got better. I haven’t talked to him directly except for a quick 5 minute phone call since the day he broke up with me, but last week he felt it necessary to text my brother to tell him he was done with me. Very quick change of heart from him. I have been using the no contact rule for around a week now, I’m doing okay but I’m super worried things aren’t going to work out. Here’s the big kicker: While he was in Basic, I got really really drunk and was assaulted by a “friend”. He refuses to see it as assault and instead chooses to call it cheating. (Why would you want someone like that back? I know. I’ve heard it before.) I told him about everything a month after I found out (the “friend” told me about it) and this was back in February. I thought things were resolved. He’s told several friends that I cheated, including the new girl, who took it upon herself to send me nasty messages about me “cheating”. I’m in such a crappy place. He’s been my best friend since middle school and I can’t stand the thought of losing him.
Side note – we broke up about a year and a half ago for two months. He found a rebound then and after a month of no contact from me, he left the girl and came back. BUT we were seeing each other every day at school at that point. I’m really anxious. Not really sure what I should expect or think about any of this. PLEASE HELP

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 12, 2016 at 4:01 pm

Hi Mandy,

the best move you can do is to do no contact until he comes back and cut all ties with the guy he said you cheated with

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