Many of our clients, after a breakup, wonder if they should block their ex on social media. Ultimately the answer depends on a client’s overall goals.
Ask yourself, do you want your ex back or do you want to move on?
You see, depending on your goal, our advice will vary.
If you want to move on from your ex, our advice is simple. Blocking them on social media will speed up the process of removing them from your life.
However, for many, determining whether to move on from an ex or to get them back is complicated.
Luckily for you, I’ve put together the ExBoyfriend Recovery Chances Quiz that is perfect for anyone experiencing this limbo of indecision.
This special quiz is designed to calculate your approximate chance of getting your ex back.
Taking this short quiz will help you to make a smart decision about whether it’s worth your time to pursue your ex or move on.
So, Should You Block Your Ex If You Want Them Back?
Let’s operate under the assumption that you want to get your ex back.
That’s why you’re here!
So, should you block your ex on social media?
However, we do believe there is something you should be doing.
You see, if you think about it, there are several “approaches” to blocking an ex.
Most commonly, we see two approaches,
- The Full Out Block
- The Soft Block
Let me give you a bit of background on each now.
The Full Out Block
Some individuals want to go to extreme measures after a breakup and fully block all communication with an ex.
Maybe they’re angry initially or they just favor an “all or nothing” approach in general.
Implementing a full block basically means you are blocking communication with an ex in every way imaginable.
It means blocking text messages, social media interaction, phone calls, etc.
This form of a hard block will end communication indefinitely with an ex.
The Soft Block
The other type of block that we see is the soft block.
This is where one method of communication is blocked with an ex, but not another.
For example, you decide to block text messages or phone calls from your ex, but you remain connected on social media.
This way, you can still see what your ex posts and they can see what you post online.
So, what is a better approach to adopt?
Well, many who have watched my videos, listened to my podcast, or read my articles, know that I’m a big proponent of the No Contact Rule.
But the No Contact Rule, in and of itself, is only effective when used properly.
In this situation, following the No Contact Rule is essentially not communicating with your ex at all for a period of time, but maybe only soft blocking communication, like text messages and phone calls.
However, a lot of people misunderstand the rule and fully block their ex on social media too.
This is a gigantic mistake and here’s why.
One Of The Biggest Fears You May Experience
One of the biggest fears people experience during the No Contact Rule is that their ex will forget them.
This is an irrational fear, but a common one that can easily creep into our thoughts.
It’s also one of the reasons why I do not believe blocking your ex will benefit you. Not to mention, blocking your ex will keep you from gathering information that may be helpful in getting your ex back.
I’ll give you an example of what I mean. Let’s say you block your ex’s phone number, so you do not receive any text messages or phone calls for a 30 day no contact period. This means, for 30 days you will not know if your ex tried to reach out to you with a call or text.
Now, I realize a phone call or text message is not necessarily deemed a success when it comes to the No Contact Rule, but it does give you a glimpse into your ex’s state of mind.
The challenge here, however, lies in your ability to be disciplined.
Often, we see individuals break the No Contact Rule when an ex reaches out and says something like, “I miss you”. It takes tremendous discipline to not respond and say, “I miss you too”.
I only recommend that clients block an ex if they are too undisciplined to follow the No Contact Rule and not respond to an ex’s text or phone call. I recommend blocking with one caveat.
I don’t believe you should ever block your ex on social media.
Making The No Contact Rule Work For You
For the past decade, I have seen the No Contact Rule work wonders for our clients.
But, in order to get your ex back, you need to be doing more than just the No Contact Rule.
You need to be actively showing your ex what he is missing during this period of no contact.
And, if you block your ex from all your social media accounts, guess what? Your ex has no way of seeing the amazing changes you are making that will compel him to want you back.
Now, often when I explain this concept to my clients, they scoff and wonder “how often do exes really Facebook stalk?”.
Cyberstalking – It Happens
Well, to answer that question, I did some research and found staggering statistics that will tell you just how often cyberstalking occurs after a breakup.
Here they are:
- 90% of people Facebook stalk after a breakup.
- 3 out of 4 people check out the Facebook pages of an ex’s new romantic partner.
- 70% of people use their friend’s Facebook account to stalk an ex after being blocked.
- These three statistics basically tell us everything we need to know about blocking an ex on social media.
We know 90% of exes will pay attention to your Facebook page after a breakup.
We also know that if you start a relationship with someone new and post about it on social media, 3 out of 4 exes will scope out a new romantic partner’s Facebook page.
Now, there are certain ways to do this effectively to make your ex jealous.
I don’t recommend making out with someone and posting it on social media – that likely won’t get the reaction you want.
However, it’s highly likely that a post about your new relationship will make your ex jealous enough to check out your new partner’s Facebook profile.
The most damning evidence of all is that 70% of exes that are blocked are resourceful enough to find a way to spy on you through a friend’s social media account.
So ya…. keep an eye on those mutual friends.
What Does This Teach Us?
Well, first, these statistics show us that social media is a great way to give your ex a window into your life.
And perhaps the best thing about social media is that you get to control the information your ex is seeing.
It also tells us something many people overlook – it’s important to remain friends with your ex’s friends on social media.
In fact, this is especially important thing if you have already taken steps to block your ex.
Many clients will come to me and say, “Ok, this sounds really interesting. I want to use social media to my advantage during the No Contact Rule to get my ex back, but there’s just one problem, Chris. I’ve already blocked my ex on the phone and on social media. What do I do?”
Well, first you need to understand that, even if you blocked your ex, it’s highly likely your ex will use a mutual friend’s account to spy on you.
Therefore, it’s important to remain connected to those mutual friends and continue posting content that shows your ex how great life is going for you since the breakup.
Should You Unblock or Re-friend An Ex?
If you have blocked or unfriended an ex on Facebook, it is a huge mistake to unblock them or send a new friend request.
It’s essentially breaking the No Contact Rule.
Instead, I recommend that you continue with the plan or process you are using to get them back.
Hopefully, you are using the ExBoyfriend Recovery process.
However, if you are using another process, make sure that you stick to one strategy, as opposed to five strategies.
The old motto “less is more” applies perfectly to this scenario.