If you are scanning the internet looking for good reasons to get back with your ex then you just landed on the perfect article.
You see, I’m not a fan of the fluffy pieces that my peers will often put together.
The last thing you probably want to read is another article with identical reasons to everyone else.
I figured we could do something different today.
So, instead of having me just go on and on about why this is a good reason, or that is a good reason I’m going to base my reasons on reality.
I’m going to take 5 of my favorite success stories on this site and look at their reasoning for wanting to get back with their exes.
5 Good Reasons To Get Back With Your Ex
Below I have compiled a list, based on success stories that I’ve personally helped to create a list of the best reasons to get back with your ex,
- You’ve never experienced chemistry like this before
- Your ex got cold feet for a dumb reason
- One of you wanted therapy but not because anything was wrong
- Your ex broke up with you because of they can’t take the distance anymore.
- Your ex dates someone new and wants to come back
What I’d like to do is go down the list, show you proof of the success story and talk a little bit about the reasoning behind why the person wanted their ex back.
Let’s dive in!
1. You’ve Never Experienced Chemistry Like This Before
It’s always interesting talking to coaching clients on the phone. At some point I’ll usually ask them,
So, why do you want your ex back?
It’s a pretty basic question but it never ceases to amaze me how many men and women get stumped by it.
I often imagine they want to reach through the phone and strangle me while yelling,
“I JUST LOVE MY EX… JUST HELP ME!!!!”
Usually there’s this awkward silence where they don’t know what to say and I’ll have to extend the olive branch and say,
“Just tell me the first thing that pops into your head.”
I get a lot of interesting answers at this point,
- I love them more than I’ve loved anyone
- We’re perfect for each other
- The sex was amazing
The list goes on and on.
But without a doubt the number one thing I’ll hear will be,
“I’ve never felt chemistry like this before.”
But what does this mean?
Hearing For An Actual Success Story
A few years ago one of my former team members received this reply in the comments section of this website,
Don’t be alarmed if the website looks completely different to the current version.
(We’ve had quite a few redesigns.)
As you can see “Jellybean” as the commenter so elegantly named herself mentions how she got her ex back.
What isn’t mentioned was how she went on and on about how she had never had chemistry with a guy like this before.
- How she had never felt the feelings she felt with this one guy
- How they practically did everything together
- And how they loved all of the same things
- And felt they were a perfect match for each other (never mind the breakup)
So, according to Jellybean this is what chemistry is defined as.
2. Your Ex Got Cold Feet For A Dumb Reason
Commitments have a way of making people run.
Did you know that I am married?
Yep, I moved across the country to be with my wife and left everyone I’ve ever known to be with her.
It was pretty romantic…
But despite it’s romanticism it took me a while to adjust. I wouldn’t say I got cold feet but facing the fact that this was a big commitment kinda shook me.
Now, we never broke up or anything like that but I remember there being a little friction at the beginning.
Here’s my point.
People react in all sorts of interesting ways when big commitments are involved.
And one of those ways is they can get cold feet and bail on a relationship.
A Success Story Where Cold Feet Actually Happened
One of my all time favorite success stories occurred a few years ago in the comments section of this website,
The website looks different because we’ve had a few redesigns since then but it’s the substance that matters.
Anyways, the thing that sticks out with this success story is that her ex broke up with her as they were engaged.
Basically he got cold feet and bailed.
But this isn’t something that I’ve seen just this one time and never again. I’ve seen this hundreds of times literally!
And sometimes it doesn’t have anything to do with a huge commitment like marriage.
Sometimes it can be something much smaller.
In a few moments I am going to talk about a reason where a breakup occurred because of a micro commitment where one partner wanted the other to go to therapy together.
Actually, let’s just talk about that now.
3. One Person Wanted Therapy And The Other One Didn’t
Therapy has so many negative connotations behind it.
When someone says to us,
“Hey you should go see a therapist.”
Chances are that we are going to get offended. It’s almost as if they are saying we have a problem and we need to see someone to fix it.
But in reality there are a lot of people that go to therapy just to talk.
It’s almost as casual to them as going to the dentist.
That was certainly the case for Jessy!
A Success Story With Therapeutic Undertones!
So, here’s the deal.
I was combing through my support email one day and happened to be stopped in my tracks as a woman named Jessy reached out to me and told me that she had used my website and book to win her ex back.
Not only that but now she was married to him.
So… she basically got him back, they got hitched and they lived happily ever after.
After some prodding/begging I convinced her to come onto my podcast and YouTube channel to tell her story.
Here’s what went down.
She had been married before and didn’t want history to repeat itself. So, rather than jumping into a situation like that she decided to ask her boyfriend if he’d be comfortable going to therapy to talk through things.
Her intention wasn’t to say that anything was wrong with their relationship but she felt like going to a therapist would be an ideal step if they were going to take things to the next level.
Of course, her boyfriend didn’t exactly see it that way.
And so, a breakup occurred.
However, in an interesting twist it was she who broke up with him. Of course, she immediately regretted that decision which led her to my website.
So, the morale of the story?
Asking your ex to go to therapy which causes a breakup is a good reason to want to get back together!
4. They Broke Up With You Because They Can’t Take The Distance Anymore
On Ex Boyfriend Recovery we deal with a lot of situations involving long distance relationships. Typically they play out the following way.
Boy meets girl…
Girl lives a long distance away…
Boy breaks up with girl because of said distance…
Girl finds Ex Boyfriend Recovery!
In fact, this was how I became introduced to my partner in crime Anna Gonowon (see coaches section.)
Anna ended up finding my website because her fiancé had called it quits with her and she was determined to get him back. Oh, and I feel it might be relevant to mention here that the two of them were in a long distance relationship and the distance certainly played a factor in the breakup.
Now, in the online space there are a lot of people you can follow when it comes to breakups.
Everyone is looking to vie for your attention.
So, what was it that drew Anna to me?
Well, to put simply, it was my work in describing the idea of misattribution of emotions,
After she saw that she immediately stopped listening to everyone else and came over to listen to me. She integrated into our Facebook Group and started working on getting her ex back.
Eventually this happened,
Here’s my point.
Her entire purpose for getting her ex back was because she felt he didn’t give the relationship a fair shot due to the distance.
Hence, it’s a good reason to want to get your ex back.
5. Your Ex Dates Someone New And Wants To Come Back
This is where things start to get very controversial.
It sounds weird to have me say that having your ex leave you for someone is a good reason to take them back but all I ask is that you approach this concept with an open mind.
What’s that famous quote?
Do you believe the line “If you love someone, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don’t, they never were.”
I always hated that quote to be honest with you but in some rare cases it’s kind of true.
Consider for a moment the human condition. We are wired to always want “the bigger better deal.”
And the interdependence theory teaches us that we are constantly on the lookout for a better alternative to the current relationship we are in.
So, close your eyes and imagine something for me for a moment.
You think everything is going fine in your relationship with your ex but they are constantly looking for someone better.
They are plagued by this belief that they could do better than you.
I’ve written about the grass is greener syndrome quite a bit throughout the years.
And it’s definitely at work here.
The thing you have to understand about it is that sometimes the grass is greener on the other side and sometimes it’s not.
I’m going to be zoning in and focusing on the cases where it’s not.
A Case Where The Grass Wasn’t Greener On The Other Side
This was a girl in our Facebook Group that we helped after her breakup. You’ll notice that she mentions the fact that after they broke up her ex found a new girl.
Now, I’ve made my thoughts on rebounds pretty clear throughout the years.
And it does seem like that’s exactly what happened here.
It’s best to view relationships as ever changing things. They never stay the same. There is always something impacting them and causing them to change.
Consider the honeymoon period.
This magical time where your partner can do no wrong and the world is full of candy canes and lollipops.
Some people get lulled into this idea that, that is how their relationship should always be.
But coming off the high of the honeymoon period is inevitable and if a breakup occurs because of that you might expect there to be some type of a rebound.
But sometimes you’ll find that when your ex goes over to the rebound the exact same thing happens to that person and it forces them to realize the mistake they made by leaving you.
Are There More “Right” Reasons To Get Back With An Ex?
So, those are the top 5 reasons I’ve found based on actual data to want an ex back.
I’m sure there are more though.
I often leave room for improvement on my articles so I can go back later and update them.
If you think you have a worthy reason to add to the list above please let me know in the comments.
I do my best to answer all of you!
Sources and Citations