I Want My Ex Boyfriend Back But He Doesn't Want Me- Change His Mind

278 thoughts on “I Want My Ex Boyfriend Back But He Doesn’t Want Me”

Jade

February 9, 2018 at 3:53 pm

I was recently on your site and purchased the ex boyfriend recovery pro book and watched one of your webinars and I’d really like some support and guidance on how to get my ex back, it’s been about 2 months since we broke up and I feel I’ve tried everything with no success so I’m wondering if your method would still work after this long? We still have been in touch since we broke up because he wasn’t sure what he wanted and we tried to sort the problems that were causing some arguments but I couldn’t shift his decision. Up until last week he had been unsure but now it is a straight no. He said his mind has changed about us, he just doesn’t see us anymore, and is wanting to move on. He even went as far as saying he doesn’t miss what we had together. He won’t reach out and message me unless I do it first then stops talking mid conversation. I’m scared the no contact rule will not work and he will move on like he says he wants to during that time period. I desperately just want him back and us to be happy again. Could you help me out?

Thanks
(Was in a relationship for 18months)

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 12, 2018 at 11:30 pm

Hi,

Check this one:
Will My Ex Forget Me If I Do No Contact

Belle

February 4, 2018 at 5:07 am

I did the no contact for almost 60 days. he contacted me but after building rapport and hanging out I pressured him way too much to define the relationship and now he said he doesn’t want to try. He told me he loves me but he does not want to try. He wants me to be friends with him but I’m so in love with him I don’t want to be friends. I still want him back, should I just move on or try no contact again and start all over again? It feels like a second a major break up.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 7, 2018 at 1:09 pm

slowly rebuild rapport instead of restarting nc.

Mary

January 27, 2018 at 8:26 am

Knowing we don’t live in the same country anymore

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 30, 2018 at 11:22 pm

Hi Mary,

Yes, that’s a good idea.. What about other things? Tv shows, movies, food?

Mary

January 27, 2018 at 8:21 am

My ex is a big handball fan, he’s been playing his whole life, most of his friends are from the club, he likes to watch matches… When we were together (10 months) I tried to get interested, watch matches on TV and matches of him or his friends. Now I really don’t think starting playing handball is a good strategy to get him back, isn’t it too obvious? Plus, I’m not sure he would like a woman who changes everything for him, or is exactly like him. What do you think?
Maybe showing that I’m going out more, being more social, having more friends, still going on trips, practicing sports, maybe that is a good idea?
Michele

January 16, 2018 at 8:37 pm

Me and my ex were together for 5 months. He is everything I want in a man but I was having trouble opening up to him. I had just gotten out of a 2 year relationship with a man who was NOT RIGHT for me. This affected me in the sense that I was scared to fully let someone in again. However, this my man was right for me and I should have. We had a lot of good times and no fights for the first 4 months but than I started showing some unattractive qualities towards the end.. and I pushed him away. He said we aren’t right for each other and that I will be happier in the long run as well. We had a friendly break up but I love him and deep down I think we are meant to be even though he doesn’t. We are very similar in every sense – we have the same values, interests, etc. I have broken NC and tried to get him back but he stuck with his reasoning. He does not want me back. It’s been almost a month since we broke up. I know he was very into me for a while but I feel like not opening up to him squashed the chance of an emotional connection . And I’m worried it may not be something I can get back.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 18, 2018 at 7:07 am

Hi Michele,

check this one:
You Desperately Begged For Him Back And Failed… I’m Here To Fix That

Sasha

January 15, 2018 at 3:49 am

So I’m doing the no contact rule. Tomorrow will be 5 days. I’ve made every mistake in the book of trying to get my ex back. He does not want me back. That’s what he said, he left me for the girl he cheated with me on. He finds it hard to deal with issues and prefers the easy way out. This new girl is stroking his ego and I suppose he thinks a relationship with her will be more emotionally fulfilling to him. However, he’s my best friend and while my love is fading, I still want him to come back. I’ve deleted his number from my phone but my whatsapp profile pic and about me section is open to the public so that he can see what I’ve been up to. However, should I make it private again for the sake of making myself less accessible? Do I also delete him from Facebook? What should I do with regards to being accessible but not too accessible? I want him to miss me, and reach out to me soon.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 15, 2018 at 5:29 pm

Hi Sasha

He has to see your posts..so just let it be public.. Just dont comments back if he likes or comments in your post..

Lily

December 17, 2017 at 7:32 am

Hello.
My long distance boyfriend broke up with me around a month ago. The distance is not a problem, felt like I had to point that out.
He broke up because he was tired of constant fights. Getting misunderstood and he’s also going through a rough time because of his stressful job.
He said he wanted to be friends, I made it clear that if he doesn’t talk to me I won’t talk to him either and he has been initiating contact everyday. My doctor ( I went to one to help myself. Looks like I’m depressed and needed medication which I’m doing so I’m perfectly fine.) said I should talk to him about my issue. I did, he said he’s no longer upset about it and is happy that I’m finally taking care of myself. Said I should move on cause he doesn’t want a relationship with anyone for now and doesn’t know when he’ll be ready, said he needs time to recover.
He says good morning and good night, he talks to me the most, still jokes around and laughs and tbh I play it cool. Don’t know if there’s any fee left in him or if I really do have a chance but I want him back. Because : 1. The relationship was perfectly fine if it wasn’t for my constant paranoia. 2. Nothing hurtful was said during the breakup and he says he still trusts me. 3. I’m sure I can fix things if he gives me a chance. ( I did beg him once.)
Thing is, he’s going through a lot of pressure and stress due to his job. Only gets 3 hours of sleep and is pretty much in a bad place. Should I start no contact and ignore him? Wouldn’t that make things worse cause he already stated he has no feelings for me? Is there a way to get him back by being friends and helping him through all this? ( I once joked about friend zone and he said he’s not looking for relationships so there is no friend zone.) he also said IF we get back together he wants it to be a fresh start, I’m the most amazing person he has ever met but he just doesn’t want a relationship. I sadly can’t pay for the stuff on here cause my country can’t use PayPal or anything else…

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 6:56 pm

Hi Lily,

why not try the no contact rule first?

Nastya

December 5, 2017 at 11:57 pm

Hello, Amor ! And thank you for your advice. It seems I did almost what you’ve recommended. I told him directly that we won’t be friends with him . He replied “Sure we can be only friends”. In fact , yes it’s really true that I prefer not to meet him at all rather than to be just a friend. But now I think maybe I said this ultimatum too fast. After No Contact we were texting already for a month. And last 10 days almost every day quite for a long. (*he is in the other country , we can’t meet just for coffee). Sometimes he wrote me first. But nothing emotional just like “How was your day”. But he used to complain a lot that he still didn’t believe me that I had been faithful with him. And ask if I’m single, and provoked me a lot , once I asked about him and he replied that he already dated with women after breakup. I went into hysterics that time and literally confessed him about my feelings. But he told that it’s not true , and that he didn’t date anybody , just wanted to check my reaction. And there were several situations when he provoked me and I “justified myself ” that I really never ever cheated him, and now is still single. I did this because I thought that maybe really his trust can bring back our relationships. But now it’s obviously he just checked me for …pleasure? And in fact when he started to tease me that he is free, just “waiting for his love” I told him my ultimatum . And he told that he didn’t understand what I mean. And again I showed so much emotions and loads of text while explaining. And he told that, no, friends only. But finally I kind of said “Good bye”. And I really wanted. But I feel so much pain. That I’m thinking about other NC rule. And maybe I will try to text him friendly for some time till I create intrigue and interest? maybe I was just not patient and showed more affection, was very open with that person and that ultimatum was totally inopportune? Is it good idea to pretend a month later that I already don’t care if he is still single or not, and just talked friendly? Cause I think it can sting him a lot .
Also one thing worry me. And I would like to know your opinion about it. This guy told me the phrase ” Sure one day I will find my love”. At that time when he knew about my feelings. And it didn’t look like that he teased me because of anger. Cause when he is angry it looks not like this. Later after my ultimatum messages he told ” what I say wrong ? ” . So it seems for me like he did it absolutely not caring about my feelings. I can’t say such thing for any person if I know that he loves me, even if I don’t . Do you think my ex is not normal, cruel? Or men in general less sensitive and its kind of normal for a man?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 8, 2017 at 6:30 pm

if you said goodbye, you have to at least mean it.. pretending to be friends right after you said it, means you didn’t mean what you said..

Nastya

December 4, 2017 at 1:10 pm

Hello!
I had long distance relationships since last summer. At the beggining he lot of affaction, but sometimes was clingy and over controling. I don’t know if his jealosy was the main problem or the result of other problem. But it was the main reason of our scandals by phone, when I all the time justified myself while he told literally :” I don’t believe you. You slept with someone esle”. When in one of your articles you mentioned that you shoudn’t go back to the person who behaive abusive. I thought if it’s this case?.. . I wasn’t going to flirt with other guys or even look at them. Also the family of my ex didn’t see me but they already didn’t want me. And it seems that it’s because he loved me very much that time. In their culture women can’t tell directly to a son or husband their opinion but as far as I understand they use manipulation. And if a son in the family attached to his girlfriend or wife maybe women in the family can consider that thier relative can go out of their control in such case. But it’s just my suggestion. So at some moment he started to behaive impudent with me. Ignored. Blocked his phone. Didn’t say directly. I literraly begged him to explain me what is going on. Then I was traumatised and didn’t contact him at all . And he initiated communication again. Second time he broke up already when I was in his country , but also not telling directly , just it seems for me that if I didn’t make scandals asking him to explain he would disappear without telling a word. He told me that I understood him wrong, that he didn’t feel anything, that it was me who “forsed” him to have sex, and that he didn’t date with other women except me this year just because he didn’t have such opportunity. It was terrible and rediculous at the same time cause sure he had such opportunity… And after that break up I texted him a lot till he stopped reply. Then I did No Contact with more that 30 days and followed most of your advices. In general I think that Rapport was created during texting phase. And even if he behaived indifferent sometimes in the dialog he wrote me every day at least like “good night” or ” good morning”. But he started jealosy talks again. But at the same time repeated that he was free and I were free. And he wanted to visit my country not because of me just for vacation. But recently he lost his money because of bets, and he isn’t going to travel anymore. And I sent him couple of job vacancies in other contries that are suitable for his qualification, and some variants of student exchage programs. But he told he didn’t open that links cause he don’t want to go out of his country. And the same day later he told : ” Now I don’t have any love here, but sure one day I’ll find it’. And it was the point for me. I wrote him a lot of rude things. And understood that I can’t arleady make a step toward this man if he stay the same ignorant and indifferent. But after my rude messages he wrote me as usual “hi, how are you” absolutely ignoring what I had written to him. Now I think if there is slight probability that he understood why I stopped reply him?..And if there is any sense in continuing of this dialog? But I’m exausted and can’t talk to a man who is “waiting for his love”. I thought that maybe if I’ll write him kind of ultimatum “Deside if we are together ot not. There is no in the middle” will it change something?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 5, 2017 at 7:21 pm

Hi Nastya,

he’s like that because he thinks you’re just saying what you’re saying but don’t really mean them.. In short, you’ll take him back once he starts being nice with you again. Make your actions speak what your standards really are..

Jamie

November 29, 2017 at 9:18 pm

Hey. My boyfriend broke up with me two days ago after being completely fine in our relationship. I’m his first girlfriend at age 27 and we dated for 3 months of euphoria in which he mentioned several times on how He thought I was the one. The day before he was even talking about us starting a business together. He says he knows he loved me a week, a month and even the day before but when he saw me Monday he felt nothing for me, even though nothing changed/happened. When I dropped off his things yesterday, he mentioned that he wants to try again but doesn’t want to hurt me again in case he can’t feel for me again, so he doesn’t want to continue on in our relationship. I’m heartbroken. I haven’t contacted him since I returned his things. Should I move on?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 30, 2017 at 8:00 pm

Hi Jamie,

Try the no contact rule and the advice above first.. If it doesn’t work, continue moving on…

Denise

November 28, 2017 at 4:13 pm

It’s been about 7 weeks since my ex of 2+ years broke up with me. We had hit a rough patch and were arguing for about a month. No major issues, (ex. infidelity, family problems, financial issues) but we just got on each others nerves. He decided he wanted a “break” for a month, we took it. Although I thought it was a terrible idea. We didn’t see other people spoke about every 3-4 days. A month later he breaks up with me for good. Literally said, “I’m not changing my mind, I still love you but no longer see a future with you” I was shocked and thought we were going to work through it. We didn’t speak for a week after that. Then I texted- it was friendly, small talk. We seem to catch up about once every week-10 days. I initiate every time which I hate but I have NEVER begged or pleaded for him back since that dreadful day he dumped me. Last week we spoke on the phone for the first time. I was happy, cheerful, NO DRAMA, no real mention of “us” at all in fact! he too was friendly, engaging in conversation and it flowed nicely. It was a very good convo, I’d say. However, I feel like I’m holding out for a miracle or something, should I just move on? I still love him and miss him every single day.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 29, 2017 at 2:33 pm

Hi Denise,

For me, yes, you should..

Brandee

November 28, 2017 at 9:22 am

My ex and I split about 2 years ago, but it was never truly over, until 3 months ago. We share a daughter, were very , have tons in common, and get along great for the most part. He now has come to the conclusion that he is destined to be single and wants us to be friends. I need to add that his mother despises me for reasons unknown. I’m hanging on by less than a thread…..

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 29, 2017 at 2:08 pm

Hi Brandee,
Check this one:
How To Get Your Ex Back When You Have A Child With Them

Jennifer

November 26, 2017 at 5:13 pm

My ex broke up with me around three months ago stating that he didn’t want to be with me because he’s not interested in relationships. He said that it wasn’t me, but him. Honestly, I think he broke up with me because he wanted to prioritize school and the gym with his classmates. Three weeks ago, I texted him with something interesting to grab his attention. He ignored it. Yesterday, I texted him asking if we could grab coffee and meet up. He said no. I asked if he broke up with me because he lost interested in me or he just lost interested in relationships? He said he just lost interested in relationships. Initially, I thought he wanted to break up with me because he was interested in another girl, but his best friends and family told me that wasn’t the case. He gave them the same reason that he just wasn’t wanting a relationship. What should I do? Is my situation hopeless?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 28, 2017 at 2:08 am

Hi Jennifer,

those were wrong kind of texts because you don’t have rapport yet.. how much did you improve and how active were you in posting during nc?

Jennifer

November 26, 2017 at 5:11 pm

My ex broke up with me around three months ago stating that he didn’t want to be with me because he’s not interested in relationships. He said that it wasn’t me, but him. Honestly, I think he broke up with me because he wanted to prioritize school (he’s in an accelerated one year program) and the gym with his classmates. Three weeks ago, I texted him with something interesting to grab his attention. He ignored it. Yesterday, I texted him asking if we could grab coffee and meet up to discuss closure. He said no. I asked if he broke up with me because he lost interested in me or he just lost interested in relationships? He said he just lost interested in relationships. Initially, I thought he wanted to break up with me because he was interested in another girl, but his best friends and family told me that it wasn’t the case. He gave them the same reason that he just wasn’t wanting a relationship. What should I do? Is my situation hopeless? It’s been basically three months since the break up. I did NC for over 40 days.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 28, 2017 at 2:08 am

Hi Jennifer,

those were wrong kind of texts because you don’t have rapport yet.. how much did you improve and how active were you in posting during nc?

Selene

November 25, 2017 at 3:27 am

Hello, my name’s Selene and I have a problem, I hurt my ex husband really bad, with words or fights, we decided I should come back to my parents house, because I have a mental disorder and want to get treated, the thing is that happened almost 3 months ago, and he used to send me messages saying he did love me and missed me, and that he really wanted me back, that was on September, but I started to fight that he never sended me messages or call, the thing is that even about a month ago we applied the no contact rule and he sended me a message asking how was the doctors appointment, I just answer and he said ok that’s good and that was all, but the fights after that keep happening until he said he couldn’t take it anymore and said he wanted the divorce, of course I beg him to stay but said I was a fighter and he’s better without me, I gave him sometime but everytime we talk we fight because he says he’s ready to move on, and it’s desperate to find someome, 2 weeks ago I talked to him and everything was real good, we have much im common so I talked to him about the walking dead (lol), everything was good he told me about his feelings and that he really wanted to be alone and I said it was fine, later he came back and fight with me, but I kept calm and told him I was hurt because he was feeling bad, he said sorry, and said that he did regret what he did, I told him I loved him and he said wanna hear it back even when we might not be back and I say I don’t care I just say what I feel, and he said I can’t stay mad at you I love you and care about you, and I left the conversation, he didn’t wanted me but I did, the next day I come back and he acts all cold like nothing happened, I told him he was weird, then we ended of fighting because he said he felt cold and then fine, long story short, I talked to him yesterday, he said he cares about me but not as a lover, he says he doesn’t think much about me going back or anything and that he’s getting old and if he finds someone he won’t miss a chance, I told him that I was gonna go get the medicine and get treated and that I’m gonna give him time and give time to myself to get better and then if we decide to go back good if not oh well, but that I would apply the no contact rule (because he won’t change and I can’t make him) he said I don’t understand how much he doesn’t trust me and that I never changed, but I don’t have an option but to wait, he said; I told him my idea again and said if you say no then I won’t even bother because nothing by force, he said yeah I think it’s ok, but then answer him and ask for some stuff I need and he leave me on seen on messenger, the thing is, he doesn’t answer messages anymore right away, he doesn’t contact me, he’s never changed about leaving and he always says he wants to find a better girl fast because he’s getting old, in other words he’s showing symptoms of moving on, and I don’t know if l my idea was right and what are my chances of having him back if just talking to him makes his blood boil, and if by not talking I’m giving him more chances of forgetting about me, I would appreciate you could answer me, thank you very much, : )

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 27, 2017 at 8:15 am

Hi Selene,

Check this one:
The Definitive Guide On Getting Your Ex Husband Back

Nisha

November 24, 2017 at 3:38 pm

Hi Kris,
I have a male bestie. But I love him so much. Even he likes me so much. We have even went for dates. We have once slept together tooo. I am from India. I have proposed him. But he has not proposed me. I can understnad he loves me with his actions. But he is not ready to accept it. How can I make him express his love. I wish to marry him. How to make him express his feelings. Both will be happy if we marry each other. Please help me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 24, 2017 at 5:12 pm

Hi Nisha,

If you slept with him, that means you’re friends with benefits. Check this one:
EBR 006: How To Turn Friends With Benefits Into A Relationship

Raquel Vega

November 24, 2017 at 2:50 pm

It’s been a month since we broke up, it was a ldr. A few months ago, I got into a depression, so I was not able to give him back the love he was giving me, he also got a a new job that left him stressed and our communication decreased abruptly. So, adding those things up, i get why he was not feeling happy in our relationship anymore. When he broke up with me, he told me I take this time to focus on myself, not relationships and try to figure out my issues. In my desperation I asked if he thought we could get back together (silly me) he said that he doesn’t know what is gonna happen in the future but he is not giving hopes. We texted “I hope you are alright, good luck with work” each other at least twice. A few days ago, I made the mistake to tell him i was not alright and that i miss him terribly (silly me again). I am aware that no contact is the best for us for now, and me so i can regain my happiness.
We are so good when we are together physically, our connection is really beautiful, but when we are apart, my every day life consumes me entirely (its mostly work that makes me feel like that, I kinda feel burnout, but i’m quitting in 3 weeks) and that makes me put him in second place, and be not so loving.
When i feel bad, i write down how i am feeling and that is helping me so far. My plan is to send him this sorta journal i have made, showing this sorta “evolution of emotions” where first i am desperate and later i show how i accept that what we became is better off left in the past. Plus, i’m sending him a couple videos of the good times we had when we were together, so he remembers that.
In this month, he has deleted our pictures on his instagram and deactivated his facebook account. I stopped stalking him now, but its hurtuful to see how he apparently “moved on”. I know he is doing this for us, but on the other hand, how can he do that when we had plans of moving in together and i was “the love of his life”?
ps: what do you think of my package idea? im gonna make no contact til i send it (30 december)

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 24, 2017 at 5:10 pm

Hi Raquel,

Don’t send those.. It looks like chasing.. Just be active in posting your activities.. . Make it look like you’re moving on without putting in the caption that you are moving on.. Because if you really are, you’re not going to say that.. Especially saying it to him directly.. You will look like you’re trying to convince him.. If you really changed, you’re just active in your activities and you wouldn’t explain or show anything to him..

Farah

November 24, 2017 at 2:48 pm

Hi Chris!

My ex and I have been together for 5 years and have broken up for 3years and have gotten back for a year and now we’ve broken up again. I’ve tried the NC rules for 60 days, After the NC I’ve reached out to him and he responded politely. Just recently I invited him to talk in person for a “closure” and he agreed, the conversation was too emotional but sincere he even teased me if there would be a 3rd chance for us. On my birthday he greeted me and said he had a hard time deciding if he would greet me or not, I also told him if we could try it again and I promised to work on the things that irritates him but he rejected my proposal and told me to just move forward. Help! Do we still have a chance??? Does he hate me??? What to do??

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 24, 2017 at 5:05 pm

How much did you improve during and after nc and how long have you been building rapport when you asked?

Linda

November 24, 2017 at 1:42 pm

Hi Chris,

My ex and I have been together for 8yrs but in between that 8years was a 3 yrs break up where he had other relationships and just last year we got back together again but broken up just recently. I’ve tried the NC for 60days and sent him a message after, he responded to my message and just last week I invited him to talk things where we left off and he agreed. I can tell by his gesture that he still has feelings, he even teases me of another chance of being together, the conversation was painful but sincere. He greeted me on my birthday yesterday and I asked him if we can try it one more time but he rejected my offer. Do we still have the chance of getting back? Help!

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 24, 2017 at 4:58 pm

Hi Linda,

How much did you improve during and after nc and how long have you been building rapport when you asked?

Chahinez

November 24, 2017 at 8:33 am

Hey chris .so i have been.with this this guy for 10 months .2 months as a couple then he started changing then he told me.that he loves me but he cant see that we are great for each other .i told him that deep down we are alike etc and i do genuinly believe that we are for each other and that he is the one for me but he cant understand that .so i tried with him a lot and then and i gave up when he started ignoring me and i sent him a msg that i was fed up and i unfriended him from facebook. Now i dont know what to do so i can change his mind because he was in love with he just was borred or somthing and stopped caring for what will happen with us .so what should i do? should i start the no contact rule and if he doesnt reach me . Sorry for my bad english cuz it is not.my mother tongue .thank u in advance

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 24, 2017 at 3:00 pm

Hi Chahinez
You can do nc..he doesn’t have to contact in it.. And if he does, you have to ignore him… After nc you can initiate

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