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261 thoughts on “I Want My Ex Boyfriend Back But He Doesn’t Want Me”

  1. Avatar

    Jennifer

    November 26, 2017 at 5:13 pm

    My ex broke up with me around three months ago stating that he didn’t want to be with me because he’s not interested in relationships. He said that it wasn’t me, but him. Honestly, I think he broke up with me because he wanted to prioritize school and the gym with his classmates. Three weeks ago, I texted him with something interesting to grab his attention. He ignored it. Yesterday, I texted him asking if we could grab coffee and meet up. He said no. I asked if he broke up with me because he lost interested in me or he just lost interested in relationships? He said he just lost interested in relationships. Initially, I thought he wanted to break up with me because he was interested in another girl, but his best friends and family told me that wasn’t the case. He gave them the same reason that he just wasn’t wanting a relationship. What should I do? Is my situation hopeless?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 28, 2017 at 2:08 am

      Hi Jennifer,

      those were wrong kind of texts because you don’t have rapport yet.. how much did you improve and how active were you in posting during nc?

  2. Avatar

    Jennifer

    November 26, 2017 at 5:11 pm

    My ex broke up with me around three months ago stating that he didn’t want to be with me because he’s not interested in relationships. He said that it wasn’t me, but him. Honestly, I think he broke up with me because he wanted to prioritize school (he’s in an accelerated one year program) and the gym with his classmates. Three weeks ago, I texted him with something interesting to grab his attention. He ignored it. Yesterday, I texted him asking if we could grab coffee and meet up to discuss closure. He said no. I asked if he broke up with me because he lost interested in me or he just lost interested in relationships? He said he just lost interested in relationships. Initially, I thought he wanted to break up with me because he was interested in another girl, but his best friends and family told me that it wasn’t the case. He gave them the same reason that he just wasn’t wanting a relationship. What should I do? Is my situation hopeless? It’s been basically three months since the break up. I did NC for over 40 days.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 28, 2017 at 2:08 am

      Hi Jennifer,

      those were wrong kind of texts because you don’t have rapport yet.. how much did you improve and how active were you in posting during nc?

  3. Avatar

    Selene

    November 25, 2017 at 3:27 am

    Hello, my name’s Selene and I have a problem, I hurt my ex husband really bad, with words or fights, we decided I should come back to my parents house, because I have a mental disorder and want to get treated, the thing is that happened almost 3 months ago, and he used to send me messages saying he did love me and missed me, and that he really wanted me back, that was on September, but I started to fight that he never sended me messages or call, the thing is that even about a month ago we applied the no contact rule and he sended me a message asking how was the doctors appointment, I just answer and he said ok that’s good and that was all, but the fights after that keep happening until he said he couldn’t take it anymore and said he wanted the divorce, of course I beg him to stay but said I was a fighter and he’s better without me, I gave him sometime but everytime we talk we fight because he says he’s ready to move on, and it’s desperate to find someome, 2 weeks ago I talked to him and everything was real good, we have much im common so I talked to him about the walking dead (lol), everything was good he told me about his feelings and that he really wanted to be alone and I said it was fine, later he came back and fight with me, but I kept calm and told him I was hurt because he was feeling bad, he said sorry, and said that he did regret what he did, I told him I loved him and he said wanna hear it back even when we might not be back and I say I don’t care I just say what I feel, and he said I can’t stay mad at you I love you and care about you, and I left the conversation, he didn’t wanted me but I did, the next day I come back and he acts all cold like nothing happened, I told him he was weird, then we ended of fighting because he said he felt cold and then fine, long story short, I talked to him yesterday, he said he cares about me but not as a lover, he says he doesn’t think much about me going back or anything and that he’s getting old and if he finds someone he won’t miss a chance, I told him that I was gonna go get the medicine and get treated and that I’m gonna give him time and give time to myself to get better and then if we decide to go back good if not oh well, but that I would apply the no contact rule (because he won’t change and I can’t make him) he said I don’t understand how much he doesn’t trust me and that I never changed, but I don’t have an option but to wait, he said; I told him my idea again and said if you say no then I won’t even bother because nothing by force, he said yeah I think it’s ok, but then answer him and ask for some stuff I need and he leave me on seen on messenger, the thing is, he doesn’t answer messages anymore right away, he doesn’t contact me, he’s never changed about leaving and he always says he wants to find a better girl fast because he’s getting old, in other words he’s showing symptoms of moving on, and I don’t know if l my idea was right and what are my chances of having him back if just talking to him makes his blood boil, and if by not talking I’m giving him more chances of forgetting about me, I would appreciate you could answer me, thank you very much, : )

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 27, 2017 at 8:15 am

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    Nisha

    November 24, 2017 at 3:38 pm

    Hi Kris,
    I have a male bestie. But I love him so much. Even he likes me so much. We have even went for dates. We have once slept together tooo. I am from India. I have proposed him. But he has not proposed me. I can understnad he loves me with his actions. But he is not ready to accept it. How can I make him express his love. I wish to marry him. How to make him express his feelings. Both will be happy if we marry each other. Please help me.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 24, 2017 at 5:12 pm

      Hi Nisha,

      If you slept with him, that means you’re friends with benefits. Check this one:
      EBR 006: How To Turn Friends With Benefits Into A Relationship

  5. Avatar

    Raquel Vega

    November 24, 2017 at 2:50 pm

    It’s been a month since we broke up, it was a ldr. A few months ago, I got into a depression, so I was not able to give him back the love he was giving me, he also got a a new job that left him stressed and our communication decreased abruptly. So, adding those things up, i get why he was not feeling happy in our relationship anymore. When he broke up with me, he told me I take this time to focus on myself, not relationships and try to figure out my issues. In my desperation I asked if he thought we could get back together (silly me) he said that he doesn’t know what is gonna happen in the future but he is not giving hopes. We texted “I hope you are alright, good luck with work” each other at least twice. A few days ago, I made the mistake to tell him i was not alright and that i miss him terribly (silly me again). I am aware that no contact is the best for us for now, and me so i can regain my happiness.
    We are so good when we are together physically, our connection is really beautiful, but when we are apart, my every day life consumes me entirely (its mostly work that makes me feel like that, I kinda feel burnout, but i’m quitting in 3 weeks) and that makes me put him in second place, and be not so loving.
    When i feel bad, i write down how i am feeling and that is helping me so far. My plan is to send him this sorta journal i have made, showing this sorta “evolution of emotions” where first i am desperate and later i show how i accept that what we became is better off left in the past. Plus, i’m sending him a couple videos of the good times we had when we were together, so he remembers that.
    In this month, he has deleted our pictures on his instagram and deactivated his facebook account. I stopped stalking him now, but its hurtuful to see how he apparently “moved on”. I know he is doing this for us, but on the other hand, how can he do that when we had plans of moving in together and i was “the love of his life”?
    ps: what do you think of my package idea? im gonna make no contact til i send it (30 december)

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 24, 2017 at 5:10 pm

      Hi Raquel,

      Don’t send those.. It looks like chasing.. Just be active in posting your activities.. . Make it look like you’re moving on without putting in the caption that you are moving on.. Because if you really are, you’re not going to say that.. Especially saying it to him directly.. You will look like you’re trying to convince him.. If you really changed, you’re just active in your activities and you wouldn’t explain or show anything to him..

  6. Avatar

    Farah

    November 24, 2017 at 2:48 pm

    Hi Chris!

    My ex and I have been together for 5 years and have broken up for 3years and have gotten back for a year and now we’ve broken up again. I’ve tried the NC rules for 60 days, After the NC I’ve reached out to him and he responded politely. Just recently I invited him to talk in person for a “closure” and he agreed, the conversation was too emotional but sincere he even teased me if there would be a 3rd chance for us. On my birthday he greeted me and said he had a hard time deciding if he would greet me or not, I also told him if we could try it again and I promised to work on the things that irritates him but he rejected my proposal and told me to just move forward. Help! Do we still have a chance??? Does he hate me??? What to do??

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 24, 2017 at 5:05 pm

      How much did you improve during and after nc and how long have you been building rapport when you asked?

  7. Avatar

    Linda

    November 24, 2017 at 1:42 pm

    Hi Chris,

    My ex and I have been together for 8yrs but in between that 8years was a 3 yrs break up where he had other relationships and just last year we got back together again but broken up just recently. I’ve tried the NC for 60days and sent him a message after, he responded to my message and just last week I invited him to talk things where we left off and he agreed. I can tell by his gesture that he still has feelings, he even teases me of another chance of being together, the conversation was painful but sincere. He greeted me on my birthday yesterday and I asked him if we can try it one more time but he rejected my offer. Do we still have the chance of getting back? Help!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 24, 2017 at 4:58 pm

      Hi Linda,

      How much did you improve during and after nc and how long have you been building rapport when you asked?

  8. Avatar

    Chahinez

    November 24, 2017 at 8:33 am

    Hey chris .so i have been.with this this guy for 10 months .2 months as a couple then he started changing then he told me.that he loves me but he cant see that we are great for each other .i told him that deep down we are alike etc and i do genuinly believe that we are for each other and that he is the one for me but he cant understand that .so i tried with him a lot and then and i gave up when he started ignoring me and i sent him a msg that i was fed up and i unfriended him from facebook. Now i dont know what to do so i can change his mind because he was in love with he just was borred or somthing and stopped caring for what will happen with us .so what should i do? should i start the no contact rule and if he doesnt reach me . Sorry for my bad english cuz it is not.my mother tongue .thank u in advance

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 24, 2017 at 3:00 pm

      Hi Chahinez
      You can do nc..he doesn’t have to contact in it.. And if he does, you have to ignore him… After nc you can initiate

  9. Avatar

    Janine

    November 22, 2017 at 12:48 am

    Hello. Ive been from an LDR for more than 2 years now. We havent met yet, but I am supposed to go meet him next year after i accomplish all my requirements for working abroad.
    One time, he was driving (he’s a truck driver), he got annoyed by my texting. I was only leaving messages, Ive done this before and he just usually ignores me till his shift comes to an end when he can read them. But that day, he got so mad and sent me a video of him telling me to stop, he is driving. He was yelling like a madman. It was my first time to see him like that. I was so scared and mad. So i texted hus bff, whom he introduced just recently, and i told her about it. (And no, they arent romantically involved with each other. Theyre childhood pals.) It came to a point when i told her, “yelling is next to beating. Thats how it always goes”. Now i know what i said was wrong. She replied, “he isnt a woman beater”. And then blocked me, then told my bf about it. He got so so angry and he said the meanest things. He said he will never ever touch a woman like that and we are over for that reason alone. He said he doesnt want me anymore coz if i love him, i wouldnt be able to say those words. They both blocked me. This is by far, the angriest he has ever been at me. And this is the worst out of all breakups we had.

    And after a week, he unblocked me. I was able to communicate with him and tried to defend myself. He got so mad and logged out of his social media accounts. Another week passed, he logged into his messenger and saw my pending messages, we got into an arguement again. But this time i said sorry and that i want him back. He said i will never clear my name and that i wont get him back ever. He ignored all my messages from then on. He never bothered readind any and just deleted them without checking them out. 3 days later, it was his bday. I greeted him and after a day, he read it. 4 days later, i texted him. He didnt read my messages despite being active. I sent more messages and now he logged out again. Oh and he also didnt block me now he got a chance. Plus he didnt cleared our nicknames in the chat. His is hunnycakes. Mine is babygirl.

    What do i do about this? Help me. I want him back, i cant just live with so much regret.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 24, 2017 at 3:27 am

      Hi Janine,

      He doesn’t respect you.. Personally I don’t want you to get back with him because it’s an emotionally abusive relationship.m

  10. Avatar

    Melissa

    November 21, 2017 at 8:24 pm

    Hi!
    Ive done 2 weeks no contact and then i talked to him, begging and asking what went wrong… he blocked me two days after because i had annoyed him, but he said he wouldnt when we talked… then i did no contact again. he did unblock me and we started talking and i was a bit hard to get and he started texting first but, he never tries to get me back or anything. he is just texting me but it is really as friends and i can tell he doesnt try anything with me.. I dont want to be strung along.. we broke up before and he always said he missed me and fought for me back but now he doesnt… what can i do to get out of this friendzone.. i agreed to meet up as friends but he is hesitant.. What should i do?… I really want to meet up because i think i will have a better chance.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 24, 2017 at 2:56 am

      Hi Melissa,

      send a clean slate text.. tell him being friends is not workable for you right now, thank him for everything and then restart nc.. do at least 30 days..

  11. Avatar

    R

    November 21, 2017 at 4:21 am

    I love your website Chris. I think I have read most of the articles. I have come across a situation where I believe my ex put his sister up to texting me to see how I am doing, basically I feel as though he used her to check up on me. Can you write an article about an ex using a mutual friend to contact you? What should someone say to the mutual friend and what does it mean if the ex does this?
    Thanks!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 23, 2017 at 1:14 am

      Hi R,

      When and why did you break up?

  12. Avatar

    kpkpl

    November 20, 2017 at 3:58 pm

    Hi Chris,
    My ex-boyfriend’s reason for breaking up with me was that he doesn’t love me and never did. We knew each other for 10 months and were a couple for around 7 so it was enough time to fall in love. Will any of this work if he has never loved me? You don’t talk about love so much on your site and wanted to know what you thought. It makes sense that you could win someone back who once loved you but I’m not sure about my situation. I’d like to think he must have loved me a bit for how serious & intense our relationship was, but maybe I’m delusional.
    Thanks for all you do
    Kx

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 22, 2017 at 2:46 am

      Hi Kpkpl,

      It’s not a guarantee to work in any situation but it helps increase your chnaces…
      Check this one:
      If He Tells You That He Never Loved You Then Do This…

  13. Avatar

    Alex

    November 20, 2017 at 9:49 am

    I was very active in my posting And he always liked my Instagram photos.I started eating helathy And going to The gym And also i returned to art (i Lost it during relationship).Actually we were both invited to our Good friend party in different city (so we And other friends were sleeping in The same place) At first he was kinda avoiding me but after he was Nice And i felt like everything was normal.(OH And i was wearing Red a lot,looked really amazing ,smiling a lot And looking him into The eyes as The site says)When i felt sick i Heard that he was worried about me And actually he texted me (started conversation) three times yesterday And today again.He is Nice And more intrested.Its a Good sign right?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 22, 2017 at 12:50 am

      yes, that’s a good sign.. You need to initiate texts too just be the one to end it at high point.

  14. Avatar

    Jessica George

    November 18, 2017 at 3:49 am

    Hi Amor.
    My boyfriend cheated on my with my best friend. My best friend has no feelings for him but he claims to have feelings for her. And strictly told me he has no feelings for me and he don’t want me anymore. Everytime I initiate a conversation, he replied coldly. He doesn’t call or text me. The moment he told he likes my best friend, he told me that he needed some time but I was hasty and created a massive problem which made me lose my best friend and my boyfriend. I feel after the problem I created, he has hatred on me and developed deeper feelings for her. However they have both stopped contacting. And I’ve trying all I can to win him back because I still love him so much. But all he does is think about her and not me. What should I do to win him back Amor. Pls help. Thanks.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 20, 2017 at 4:17 am

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    P.o

    November 18, 2017 at 3:27 am

    We have been together for 5 years, since high school. I’m dealing with depression and he felt he could not work it out with me because of it so he broke up with me. I took it hard and almost killed myself because he was everything that made me happy amidst my illness. We still talked after the breakup because he thought staying friends was going to be okay. But we tripped a few times and slept together and still spent time together like how we were before, only without the ‘I love you’s. Had a lot of breakdowns that affected some parts of my life. At some point I got tired and begged for him back. And he drew a line and told me he really didn’t want me. Some days after I found out he likes another woman and is already dating her and he feels trapped with me still clinging to him. So he met me in person and broke everything off. And I spiraled down deep into depression and I have no idea if the tactics here will help me get him back. I grew up with him and I still believe we have what it takes to make it.

    But I’m really hopeless right now. Should I just stop?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 20, 2017 at 4:13 am

      Hi P.O,

      It would be better if you move on to put yourself first because you shouldn’t be in a relationship unless you’re independently whole.. You have to get a personal therapist to help you where to start..

  16. Avatar

    Ankita Srivastava

    November 17, 2017 at 4:32 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me last week. We were together for almost 8 years and we were like family. I was being very clingy and emotional from past one year. He got attracted to another girl at his workplace. Now he says he doesn’t feel for me. But I know that’s not true because he talks to me when I call him, I am not blocked n he says he still cares. I want him back. He is my home. Please help.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 18, 2017 at 2:47 am

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    Antoneta

    November 15, 2017 at 8:34 pm

    Hello,my problem is that I chase my ex-boyfriend.We don`t talk anymore.
    I know…I realized that it is a turn off for them.

    So my question is…How to correct this mistake and rekindle attraction ?

    i hope you will see this 🙂

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 18, 2017 at 2:13 am

  18. Avatar

    W

    November 15, 2017 at 8:48 am

    Hi Amor. I’ve thought of a few ridiculous offer. Does all these even counted as one ?
    1. Getting an ear piercing ( he once always persuade me to get my ear piercing because he said it’s nice when girls have ear piercing )
    2. Get my hair dyed ( he once asked me to get my hair dyed but because i couldnt dye my hair at that moment due to my parents permission and now i finally could ), ( should i use it as a topic after my nc when i start contacting him abt what color does he think it’s better or should i just get it done before nc and just appear with a new me infront of him after nc ? )
    3. He likes girls who bakes ? ( idk but he mentioned to me before that his ex bakes for him at times and asked me why i dont bake )
    4. He likes girls who gives him his own space and own time?
    5. He always mentioned that im skinny af with just bones and his family too mentioned to me all the time , so what can i do abt this ? Im always skinny since young and i hardly grow meat .
    6. He likes surprises , he’s not very into surprises that kind but who doesnt love surprises and effort , no ?
    7. He mentioned to me he doesnt like the way i talk , he said he told me before but i dont really rmb , all i rmb was once he praised me and say that im pretty and i amswered him ‘ofcourse im pretty’ , but im just joking. He then tell me after that that he thinks im over confidence. Idk is it this tbh. How can i change the way i talk ? Hmm i dont even know what and where to start to change ?
    8. He likes playing games . Guys like playing games, no ? ( i always tried to learn to play games but i dint really went into it and learn, should i )
    9. He likes sports , he likes playing dodgeball .

    So i think this is almost abt all . What adjustment can i make ? Any of these that i could implement during the nc and post it on social media to show him that im actually changing into a new me ?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 17, 2017 at 7:45 pm

      If you can skip a month of training, then good.. but if that’s something that doesn’t help you personally in your life, then don’t sacrifice it just for a guy.. Improve yourself, your skills, your health and your relationships with friends and family, for yourself. Not for him.. Do what helps you grow as a person..

  19. Avatar

    Alex

    November 14, 2017 at 7:51 pm

    Hi Amor!
    I told you my story i different comment but in short he broke up with me 1,5 month ago,i did The nc for 30 days And week ago i texted him And he replied. We texted from time to time,And he initiated two times,but he isn’t always engaged in conversation even If he texted me.I think my messages bored him And i have to came with something better.Also i Want to point out that he wasnt sure If he wants to break up (but did) and he hasnt contacted me during my nc but now he is replying always.Could he still be confiused/not sure?If yes,what does it mean?Thats why he wants to talk but not Want at The same time?He is cery careful but nice-neutral.
    Sorry for being chaotic!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 18, 2017 at 1:39 am

      HI Alex,

      how much did you improve and how active were you in posting during and after nc? He’s probably still confused.

  20. Avatar

    Kris

    November 14, 2017 at 6:27 pm

    He likes the Tampa Bay Rays, poker, space stuff, craft beers, walking dead(we watched together but i dont think he has cable to watch it now), NCIS, M*A*S*H, tombstone and rounders…. help please

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 18, 2017 at 1:37 am

      Hi Kris,

      check this one:
      Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

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