What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back

I Want My Ex Boyfriend Back But He Doesn’t Want Me

There is something that I want you to get used to if you want your ex boyfriend back.

Your ex boyfriend doesn’t want you…

Now, I know that may be a bit harsh but bear with me here.

Too often have I worked with people who have fallen victim to this rhetoric that starting off your ex boyfriend wants you back. While I assume there are some cases where this occurs I can tell you pretty confidently that in most cases this is extremely rare.

In fact, I find that most ex boyfriends won’t talk to you and claim that they are truly done with you.

But then why is it that close to 43% of them end up coming back after it’s all said and done?

Is it even possible to make your ex fall in love with you again?

Well, that’s what I am going to be exploring today with this article.

A Realistic View Of Your Chances And What That Means For You 

I find it’s always helpful to take a big picture view of things when you are dealing with a scenario as deeply complex as winning an ex back.

Now, you are reading this article because you want your ex boyfriend back and he has expressed some type of sentiment that he doesn’t want you back, right?

But how often will he change his mind about you?

For the longest time this was a burning question in my mind that I felt no one really had a great answer for.

Hell, I didn’t even have a great answer for it.

I mean, when a woman would come up to me and ask,

“Chris, what kind of chance do I have here?”

I would simply say,

“It depends…”

And it does depend but that answer isn’t good enough for you, is it?

No, you are looking for something exact.

So, one day I got this crazy idea.

What if I pooled all of my success stories and knowledge together to come up with a rough percentage of success. Of course, I found that my “rough percentage” was flawed in many ways because this was a sample of the people that I have worked with.

So, I decided to up the ante and ask a few of my relationship expert peers what kind of results they were seeing.

I also wanted to include data done by researchers so that I could come up with an aggregate percentage that was trustworthy.

So, what does all of this mumbo jumbo science talk mean for you?

Well, it means that according to my research, as a baseline, your chances check in around 43%.

Some may think that 43% is good and others may think it’s awful but you have to bear in mind. This 43% success rate is taken from a majority of people who haven’t followed the correct breakup protocol.

In other words, there is definite room for improvement on a 43% chance assuming you do the right things.

Oh, and I think perhaps it’s important to mention that the vast majority of the 43% of successes all had partners who didn’t want them back.

So, what is the secret?

How are they able to convince an ex who doesn’t want them to come back?

Changing His Mind About You, The Door To Door Salesman 

I can think of no better analogy to speak on your circumstance than the door to door salesman.

Think about it for a minute.

A door to door salesman is immediately greeted with contempt upon commencing on a sales pitch.

After all, no one likes another person spamming their life with sales pitches.

Right now, you are a door to door salesman and your ex literally wants nothing to do with you.

So, how do we change that?

Well, we need to convince him that you aren’t a door to door salesman. We have to do something to make him think the opposite.

Consider for a moment that two people are trying to sell you a product, for this articles sake lets just keep it simple and say it’s a vacuum.

So, who are the two people trying to sell you this illustrious vacuum?

  1. A door to door salesman
  2. Your best friend

The Contempt Of The Door To Door Salesman Pitch

Knock Knock….

(You answer the door…)

Hi mam,

My name is Ricky, your friendly neighborhood vacuum salesman. I wonder if I might have a moment of your day to discuss vacuums. It says here that….

(You slam the door in his face…)

It’s funny to me that people think that they are going to make sales this way.

Everything about the sleazy salesman approach turns people off.

The fact of the matter is that no one likes to feel taken advantage of or pushed too hard to buy something. In fact, when we do push someone too hard we end up pushing them away and therein lies the biggest flaw of the door to door salesman pitch.

It forces people to make a decision based on the recommendation of someone you have never met.

Now, lets compare this to an approach a best friend might take.

The Best Friend Sales Pitch

You have been BFF’s with Lisa since you were in grade school.

The two of you are two peas in a pod…

As thick as thieves…

Now, Lisa isn’t a saleswoman.

No, she is just your best friend and upon having you mention to her that your vacuum broke she decides to make a recommendation.


You know what brand works for me? Shark! It’s great, I have had it for years and it’s the best vacuum I have ever owned.

She didn’t try to sell you a vacuum.

She simply told you about her experience owning one and recommended it to you.

So, you go out and buy it.

Putting It All Together

Now, am I saying that you have to become best friends with your ex in order to get him back.

No way!

All I am saying is that your approach needs to dramatically change.

Too often I see people approaching their exes like saleswomen.

You need to come back to me because (insert reason)

You were the best thing to ever happen to me and I was the best thing to ever happen to you.

Please come back… I am nothing without you

This is completely the wrong way to approach the situation. It’s not the right way to sell yourself.

What Is The Right Way To Sell Yourself

One of the most common questions you are probably wondering at this point is if there is any way that you can change his mind about you. Seeing as how it appears he doesn’t want you in his life anymore what can you possibly do?

Well, I thought I’d start by using a pretty fun analogy.

I’m a big fan of fan of Quentin Tarantino and even though it may not seem like it since I have been churning out quite a few articles for the past few week I have been quite sick.

Now, I’m the type of person that tries to turn “being sick” into a positive.

(Yes, I’m one of those.)

So, generally when I get sick I get a lot of free time outside of work and I use it doing all kinds of nerdy things.

I play video games,

I read books,

And I watch movies,

And it just so happened that I ended up watching about 5 tarantino movies while I was sick and I couldn’t help but connect with analogy that one of his characters said in one of his movies.

In the movie, Django Unchained, Dr. King Schultz and Django decide to partner up to rescue Django’s wife who is in the clutches of a slave owner but the problem is that they have no way of being invited onto this slave owners land.

That is when Dr. King Schultz comes up with a plan,

Imagine that a man is trying to buy a horse and he knocks on a farmers door and offers to buy the farmers horse.

What does the farmer say?

He says, no.

So… the man walks up to the farmer’s farm, he knocks on the farmer’s door and asks not to buy the horse, but the farm. And makes an offer so ridiculous, the farmer is forced to say yes.

Now, why do you think I connected to this analogy?

Well, it’s because it plays on the idea of human psychology. In my experience, human beings resist change with everything they have and make no mistake about it a man trying to buy another mans horse is a pretty big change.

So, in order to get past this initial roadblock you have to do something to make it worth it.

In this example it’s offering to buy the farm at a ridiculous price but lets distill this down and connect it to your circumstance.

Right now you want your ex boyfriend back but he doesn’t want you. Of course, you are trying to change that but change doesn’t come easy. What you are currently lacking is a ridiculous offer.

Crafting Your Ridiculous Offer

So, what have we established so far?

  • Your ex doesn’t want you but you want him…
  • That your ex is going to resist change with everything that he has…
  • And that in order to get him to embrace this change you need some kind of ridiculous offer to make it worth his while….

Now, the analogy above with the farmer deals with a monetary means. In other words, offering to buy something for an outrageous amount of money. But we are dealing with something far more difficult, human relationships.

What’s more is that often you’ll find every person has a different preference for what they like in relationships and this is where knowing your ex boyfriend comes into play.

Lets pretend that I am a woman and I am trying to get my ex boyfriend back and it is time for me to craft my ridiculous offer.

How would I go about crafting my ridiculous offer?

Well, the very first thing I would do is take out a piece of paper and start listing what I know my ex is attracted to.

  • I know he likes trucks
  • I know he is a fan of sci fi movies
  • I know he enjoys a girl who isn’t overly clingy
  • You get the idea

Basically I want a cheat sheet of what my ex is attracted to and then one by one I am going to go down that list and see how many of those things I like.

Wait… Wait… I see where you are going with this. I don’t like this one bit. I shouldn’t have to become someone I’m not just to get my ex back.

Do you want me to tell you how it is or do you want me to play into the politically correct society that we live in?

Look, I am going to quote from another of my favorite movies that perfectly encapsulates how I feel about this.

What really matters is what you like, not what you are like.

-High Fidelity-

In other words, assuming all things are equal the chances are high that a man is going to be more attracted to a woman who has all of his same interests than one who doesn’t.

Now, am I saying that you need to change your whole personality to appease some “man.”

No, that is not what I am saying at all.

Instead, what I am saying is that you need to add to your personality.

Maybe I wasn’t a fan of trucks but it isn’t going to hurt me to learn everything about them.

Maybe I’m not a fan of science fiction books or movies but it won’t hurt me to read and watch a few.

Do you get where I am going with this?

Essentially my ridiculous offer is becoming someone that my ex cannot pass up on.

Now, as for how you should show your ex this ridiculous offer. Well, I’d like you to explore this website or check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO to understand my process a bit better (I can’t give you everything for free.)

I’d Like To Test Your Ridiculous Offer

Maybe your ex boyfriend has moved on…

If not, maybe he’s not responding to you or texting you back.

Whatever your situation I want to assure you that me and my team are at your disposal and I am about to prove it.

I realize that crafting a “ridiculous offer” can be a little difficult and you might need a little help.

So, here is what I am prepared to do for you today.

Spend some time brainstorming what your ridiculous offer will be. Spend some time figuring out what you need to add to your personality and put it in the comments below.

After you do that we will get back to you with what we think and any adjustments you need to make.

Sound good?


Written by EBR Teamate

Chris Seiter

20 thoughts on “I Want My Ex Boyfriend Back But He Doesn’t Want Me”

  1. R

    November 21, 2017 at 4:21 am

    I love your website Chris. I think I have read most of the articles. I have come across a situation where I believe my ex put his sister up to texting me to see how I am doing, basically I feel as though he used her to check up on me. Can you write an article about an ex using a mutual friend to contact you? What should someone say to the mutual friend and what does it mean if the ex does this?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 23, 2017 at 1:14 am

      Hi R,

      When and why did you break up?

  2. kpkpl

    November 20, 2017 at 3:58 pm

    Hi Chris,
    My ex-boyfriend’s reason for breaking up with me was that he doesn’t love me and never did. We knew each other for 10 months and were a couple for around 7 so it was enough time to fall in love. Will any of this work if he has never loved me? You don’t talk about love so much on your site and wanted to know what you thought. It makes sense that you could win someone back who once loved you but I’m not sure about my situation. I’d like to think he must have loved me a bit for how serious & intense our relationship was, but maybe I’m delusional.
    Thanks for all you do

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 22, 2017 at 2:46 am

      Hi Kpkpl,

      It’s not a guarantee to work in any situation but it helps increase your chnaces…
      Check this one:
      If He Tells You That He Never Loved You Then Do This…

  3. Alex

    November 20, 2017 at 9:49 am

    I was very active in my posting And he always liked my Instagram photos.I started eating helathy And going to The gym And also i returned to art (i Lost it during relationship).Actually we were both invited to our Good friend party in different city (so we And other friends were sleeping in The same place) At first he was kinda avoiding me but after he was Nice And i felt like everything was normal.(OH And i was wearing Red a lot,looked really amazing ,smiling a lot And looking him into The eyes as The site says)When i felt sick i Heard that he was worried about me And actually he texted me (started conversation) three times yesterday And today again.He is Nice And more intrested.Its a Good sign right?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 22, 2017 at 12:50 am

      yes, that’s a good sign.. You need to initiate texts too just be the one to end it at high point.

  4. Jessica George

    November 18, 2017 at 3:49 am

    Hi Amor.
    My boyfriend cheated on my with my best friend. My best friend has no feelings for him but he claims to have feelings for her. And strictly told me he has no feelings for me and he don’t want me anymore. Everytime I initiate a conversation, he replied coldly. He doesn’t call or text me. The moment he told he likes my best friend, he told me that he needed some time but I was hasty and created a massive problem which made me lose my best friend and my boyfriend. I feel after the problem I created, he has hatred on me and developed deeper feelings for her. However they have both stopped contacting. And I’ve trying all I can to win him back because I still love him so much. But all he does is think about her and not me. What should I do to win him back Amor. Pls help. Thanks.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 20, 2017 at 4:17 am

  5. P.o

    November 18, 2017 at 3:27 am

    We have been together for 5 years, since high school. I’m dealing with depression and he felt he could not work it out with me because of it so he broke up with me. I took it hard and almost killed myself because he was everything that made me happy amidst my illness. We still talked after the breakup because he thought staying friends was going to be okay. But we tripped a few times and slept together and still spent time together like how we were before, only without the ‘I love you’s. Had a lot of breakdowns that affected some parts of my life. At some point I got tired and begged for him back. And he drew a line and told me he really didn’t want me. Some days after I found out he likes another woman and is already dating her and he feels trapped with me still clinging to him. So he met me in person and broke everything off. And I spiraled down deep into depression and I have no idea if the tactics here will help me get him back. I grew up with him and I still believe we have what it takes to make it.

    But I’m really hopeless right now. Should I just stop?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 20, 2017 at 4:13 am

      Hi P.O,

      It would be better if you move on to put yourself first because you shouldn’t be in a relationship unless you’re independently whole.. You have to get a personal therapist to help you where to start..

  6. Ankita Srivastava

    November 17, 2017 at 4:32 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me last week. We were together for almost 8 years and we were like family. I was being very clingy and emotional from past one year. He got attracted to another girl at his workplace. Now he says he doesn’t feel for me. But I know that’s not true because he talks to me when I call him, I am not blocked n he says he still cares. I want him back. He is my home. Please help.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 18, 2017 at 2:47 am

  7. Antoneta

    November 15, 2017 at 8:34 pm

    Hello,my problem is that I chase my ex-boyfriend.We don`t talk anymore.
    I know…I realized that it is a turn off for them.

    So my question is…How to correct this mistake and rekindle attraction ?

    i hope you will see this 🙂

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 18, 2017 at 2:13 am

  8. W

    November 15, 2017 at 8:48 am

    Hi Amor. I’ve thought of a few ridiculous offer. Does all these even counted as one ?
    1. Getting an ear piercing ( he once always persuade me to get my ear piercing because he said it’s nice when girls have ear piercing )
    2. Get my hair dyed ( he once asked me to get my hair dyed but because i couldnt dye my hair at that moment due to my parents permission and now i finally could ), ( should i use it as a topic after my nc when i start contacting him abt what color does he think it’s better or should i just get it done before nc and just appear with a new me infront of him after nc ? )
    3. He likes girls who bakes ? ( idk but he mentioned to me before that his ex bakes for him at times and asked me why i dont bake )
    4. He likes girls who gives him his own space and own time?
    5. He always mentioned that im skinny af with just bones and his family too mentioned to me all the time , so what can i do abt this ? Im always skinny since young and i hardly grow meat .
    6. He likes surprises , he’s not very into surprises that kind but who doesnt love surprises and effort , no ?
    7. He mentioned to me he doesnt like the way i talk , he said he told me before but i dont really rmb , all i rmb was once he praised me and say that im pretty and i amswered him ‘ofcourse im pretty’ , but im just joking. He then tell me after that that he thinks im over confidence. Idk is it this tbh. How can i change the way i talk ? Hmm i dont even know what and where to start to change ?
    8. He likes playing games . Guys like playing games, no ? ( i always tried to learn to play games but i dint really went into it and learn, should i )
    9. He likes sports , he likes playing dodgeball .

    So i think this is almost abt all . What adjustment can i make ? Any of these that i could implement during the nc and post it on social media to show him that im actually changing into a new me ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 17, 2017 at 7:45 pm

      If you can skip a month of training, then good.. but if that’s something that doesn’t help you personally in your life, then don’t sacrifice it just for a guy.. Improve yourself, your skills, your health and your relationships with friends and family, for yourself. Not for him.. Do what helps you grow as a person..

  9. Alex

    November 14, 2017 at 7:51 pm

    Hi Amor!
    I told you my story i different comment but in short he broke up with me 1,5 month ago,i did The nc for 30 days And week ago i texted him And he replied. We texted from time to time,And he initiated two times,but he isn’t always engaged in conversation even If he texted me.I think my messages bored him And i have to came with something better.Also i Want to point out that he wasnt sure If he wants to break up (but did) and he hasnt contacted me during my nc but now he is replying always.Could he still be confiused/not sure?If yes,what does it mean?Thats why he wants to talk but not Want at The same time?He is cery careful but nice-neutral.
    Sorry for being chaotic!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 18, 2017 at 1:39 am

      HI Alex,

      how much did you improve and how active were you in posting during and after nc? He’s probably still confused.

  10. Kris

    November 14, 2017 at 6:27 pm

    He likes the Tampa Bay Rays, poker, space stuff, craft beers, walking dead(we watched together but i dont think he has cable to watch it now), NCIS, M*A*S*H, tombstone and rounders…. help please

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 18, 2017 at 1:37 am

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