There is something that I want you to get used to if you want your ex boyfriend back.

Your ex boyfriend doesn’t want you…

Now, I know that may be a bit harsh but bear with me here.

Too often have I worked with people who have fallen victim to this rhetoric that starting off your ex boyfriend wants you back. While I assume there are some cases where this occurs I can tell you pretty confidently that in most cases this is extremely rare.

In fact, I find that most ex boyfriends won’t talk to you and claim that they are truly done with you.

But then why is it that close to 43% of them end up coming back after it’s all said and done?

Is it even possible to make your ex fall in love with you again?

Well, that’s what I am going to be exploring today with this article.

A Realistic View Of Your Chances And What That Means For You 

I find it’s always helpful to take a big picture view of things when you are dealing with a scenario as deeply complex as winning an ex back.

Now, you are reading this article because you want your ex boyfriend back and he has expressed some type of sentiment that he doesn’t want you back, right?

But how often will he change his mind about you?

For the longest time this was a burning question in my mind that I felt no one really had a great answer for.

Hell, I didn’t even have a great answer for it.

I mean, when a woman would come up to me and ask,

“Chris, what kind of chance do I have here?”

I would simply say,

“It depends…”

And it does depend but that answer isn’t good enough for you, is it?

No, you are looking for something exact.

So, one day I got this crazy idea.

What if I pooled all of my success stories and knowledge together to come up with a rough percentage of success. Of course, I found that my “rough percentage” was flawed in many ways because this was a sample of the people that I have worked with.

So, I decided to up the ante and ask a few of my relationship expert peers what kind of results they were seeing.

I also wanted to include data done by researchers so that I could come up with an aggregate percentage that was trustworthy.

So, what does all of this mumbo jumbo science talk mean for you?

Well, it means that according to my research, as a baseline, your chances check in around 43%.

Some may think that 43% is good and others may think it’s awful but you have to bear in mind. This 43% success rate is taken from a majority of people who haven’t followed the correct breakup protocol.

In other words, there is definite room for improvement on a 43% chance assuming you do the right things.

Oh, and I think perhaps it’s important to mention that the vast majority of the 43% of successes all had partners who didn’t want them back.

So, what is the secret?

How are they able to convince an ex who doesn’t want them to come back?

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Changing His Mind About You, The Door To Door Salesman 

I can think of no better analogy to speak on your circumstance than the door to door salesman.

Think about it for a minute.

A door to door salesman is immediately greeted with contempt upon commencing on a sales pitch.

After all, no one likes another person spamming their life with sales pitches.

Right now, you are a door to door salesman and your ex literally wants nothing to do with you.

So, how do we change that?

Well, we need to convince him that you aren’t a door to door salesman. We have to do something to make him think the opposite.

Consider for a moment that two people are trying to sell you a product, for this articles sake lets just keep it simple and say it’s a vacuum.

So, who are the two people trying to sell you this illustrious vacuum?

  1. A door to door salesman
  2. Your best friend

The Contempt Of The Door To Door Salesman Pitch

Knock Knock….

(You answer the door…)

Hi mam,

My name is Ricky, your friendly neighborhood vacuum salesman. I wonder if I might have a moment of your day to discuss vacuums. It says here that….

(You slam the door in his face…)

It’s funny to me that people think that they are going to make sales this way.

Everything about the sleazy salesman approach turns people off.

The fact of the matter is that no one likes to feel taken advantage of or pushed too hard to buy something. In fact, when we do push someone too hard we end up pushing them away and therein lies the biggest flaw of the door to door salesman pitch.

It forces people to make a decision based on the recommendation of someone you have never met.

Now, lets compare this to an approach a best friend might take.

The Best Friend Sales Pitch

You have been BFF’s with Lisa since you were in grade school.

The two of you are two peas in a pod…

As thick as thieves…

Now, Lisa isn’t a saleswoman.

No, she is just your best friend and upon having you mention to her that your vacuum broke she decides to make a recommendation.

Hey,

You know what brand works for me? Shark! It’s great, I have had it for years and it’s the best vacuum I have ever owned.

She didn’t try to sell you a vacuum.

She simply told you about her experience owning one and recommended it to you.

So, you go out and buy it.

Putting It All Together

Now, am I saying that you have to become best friends with your ex in order to get him back.

No way!

All I am saying is that your approach needs to dramatically change.

Too often I see people approaching their exes like saleswomen.

You need to come back to me because (insert reason)

You were the best thing to ever happen to me and I was the best thing to ever happen to you.

Please come back… I am nothing without you

This is completely the wrong way to approach the situation. It’s not the right way to sell yourself.

What Is The Right Way To Sell Yourself

One of the most common questions you are probably wondering at this point is if there is any way that you can change his mind about you. Seeing as how it appears he doesn’t want you in his life anymore what can you possibly do?

Well, I thought I’d start by using a pretty fun analogy.

I’m a big fan of fan of Quentin Tarantino and even though it may not seem like it since I have been churning out quite a few articles for the past few week I have been quite sick.

Now, I’m the type of person that tries to turn “being sick” into a positive.

(Yes, I’m one of those.)

So, generally when I get sick I get a lot of free time outside of work and I use it doing all kinds of nerdy things.

I play video games,

I read books,

And I watch movies,

And it just so happened that I ended up watching about 5 tarantino movies while I was sick and I couldn’t help but connect with analogy that one of his characters said in one of his movies.

In the movie, Django Unchained, Dr. King Schultz and Django decide to partner up to rescue Django’s wife who is in the clutches of a slave owner but the problem is that they have no way of being invited onto this slave owners land.

That is when Dr. King Schultz comes up with a plan,

Imagine that a man is trying to buy a horse and he knocks on a farmers door and offers to buy the farmers horse.

What does the farmer say?

He says, no.

So… the man walks up to the farmer’s farm, he knocks on the farmer’s door and asks not to buy the horse, but the farm. And makes an offer so ridiculous, the farmer is forced to say yes.

Now, why do you think I connected to this analogy?

Well, it’s because it plays on the idea of human psychology. In my experience, human beings resist change with everything they have and make no mistake about it a man trying to buy another mans horse is a pretty big change.

So, in order to get past this initial roadblock you have to do something to make it worth it.

In this example it’s offering to buy the farm at a ridiculous price but lets distill this down and connect it to your circumstance.

Right now you want your ex boyfriend back but he doesn’t want you. Of course, you are trying to change that but change doesn’t come easy. What you are currently lacking is a ridiculous offer.

Crafting Your Ridiculous Offer

So, what have we established so far?

  • Your ex doesn’t want you but you want him…
  • That your ex is going to resist change with everything that he has…
  • And that in order to get him to embrace this change you need some kind of ridiculous offer to make it worth his while….

Now, the analogy above with the farmer deals with a monetary means. In other words, offering to buy something for an outrageous amount of money. But we are dealing with something far more difficult, human relationships.

What’s more is that often you’ll find every person has a different preference for what they like in relationships and this is where knowing your ex boyfriend comes into play.

Lets pretend that I am a woman and I am trying to get my ex boyfriend back and it is time for me to craft my ridiculous offer.

How would I go about crafting my ridiculous offer?

Well, the very first thing I would do is take out a piece of paper and start listing what I know my ex is attracted to.

  • I know he likes trucks
  • I know he is a fan of sci fi movies
  • I know he enjoys a girl who isn’t overly clingy
  • You get the idea

Basically I want a cheat sheet of what my ex is attracted to and then one by one I am going to go down that list and see how many of those things I like.

Wait… Wait… I see where you are going with this. I don’t like this one bit. I shouldn’t have to become someone I’m not just to get my ex back.

Do you want me to tell you how it is or do you want me to play into the politically correct society that we live in?

Look, I am going to quote from another of my favorite movies that perfectly encapsulates how I feel about this.

What really matters is what you like, not what you are like.

-High Fidelity-

In other words, assuming all things are equal the chances are high that a man is going to be more attracted to a woman who has all of his same interests than one who doesn’t.

Now, am I saying that you need to change your whole personality to appease some “man.”

No, that is not what I am saying at all.

Instead, what I am saying is that you need to add to your personality.

Maybe I wasn’t a fan of trucks but it isn’t going to hurt me to learn everything about them.

Maybe I’m not a fan of science fiction books or movies but it won’t hurt me to read and watch a few.

Do you get where I am going with this?

Essentially my ridiculous offer is becoming someone that my ex cannot pass up on.

Now, as for how you should show your ex this ridiculous offer. Well, I’d like you to explore this website or check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO to understand my process a bit better (I can’t give you everything for free.)

I’d Like To Test Your Ridiculous Offer

Maybe your ex boyfriend has moved on…

If not, maybe he’s not responding to you or texting you back.

Whatever your situation I want to assure you that me and my team are at your disposal and I am about to prove it.

I realize that crafting a “ridiculous offer” can be a little difficult and you might need a little help.

So, here is what I am prepared to do for you today.

Spend some time brainstorming what your ridiculous offer will be. Spend some time figuring out what you need to add to your personality and put it in the comments below.

After you do that we will get back to you with what we think and any adjustments you need to make.

Sound good?

113 thoughts on “I Want My Ex Boyfriend Back But He Doesn’t Want Me”

  1. Lana

    December 12, 2018 at 7:14 pm

    Hi Chris,
    My ex and I had been dating for 9 months, but essentially in love with each other for a year. Ever since we’d met, we’d been best friends and obsessed with each other, and after leaving school for a month and talking every day for hours, we came back to school and started a relationship, and kept falling in love. We fell hard and fast–it was the first time either of us were in love/a serious relationship. 3 months together, then 3 months straight of long distance, and the love felt stronger than ever–then we came back to school and for the last 3 months of our relationship, I felt him growing more and more distant. I kept giving so much love, and he said he needed space–I tried to give more space, but whatever I did, it still felt like he was drifting further away. He didn’t want to cuddle, or spend time together (was always “too busy”, even though he says quality time is his most important love language), or (especially towards the end) be intimate–he was too busy and tired. Part of this was maybe because we got placed in the same building/house for housing this year, so maybe I was around him too much, but he didn’t communicate to me that he was seriously thinking about ending the relationship until he wanted to break up with me and I insisted that we try taking a break instead. When we went on the break we were both crying and he said he loved me and that it was the last thing he wanted to do but he didn’t know what to do, it wasn’t me it was him, he didn’t know what to do anymore. It’s been a super stressful semester and I figured he was overwhelmed. When we talked after the break, I’d thought about all the things I’d learned and how we could work to make the relationship better by working on ourselves, too, but he was still certain that he wanted to end it. He said that his love for me had changed, and he couldn’t explain it. He said he still cared about me a lot and that he wanted to be there for each other still, he wanted to be friends, and that I knew more about him than anyone else. It’s been so hard dealing with this (we went on the break a month ago and broke up 2.5 weeks ago) and I feel like I’ve been processing and grieving like crazy and he seems to kind of just be doing a ton of schoolwork and partying and kissing other people. I don’t know if I can get him back and I know that things would have to change in the relationship for it to make us happy again but I still want to try again… I don’t know if he cares at all about trying again though. I don’t know what to do, I just want him to love me as deeply as he used to (we used to talk about spending the rest of our lives together).

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 13, 2018 at 12:36 am

      Hi Lana!

      So there is a lot going on here! Guys take long to figure out the loss. Consider some of the content I have on the site that deals with your healing and recovery going forward. Check out my Podcasts.

  2. Anna J

    November 29, 2018 at 2:19 am

    I was in a ldr with my now exboyfriend. We loved each other very very much and did so many things for each other and we dated for over a year. And then all of the sudden he wanted to break up, and it was very very messy. He first broke up with me and it lasted for literally 2 days, and then he said he wanted to get back together(which I had no objection to because I love him so much) and then we kind of spent like 2ish weeks in a weird hiatus where he was unsure if he wanted to keep dating and then eventually in the middle of September he broke it off officially. Then he said he still wanted to be friends but he thought we shouldn’t talk for a little while so we didn’t. And then about a week later I reached out to him to wish him a happy birthday and then we started talking from there. It was very low key and nothing special, though he still seemed a little engaged, it was nearly anything like dating him. Then, I didn’t quite back off I guess, I told him I missed him and I still wanted to be with him and this one might he just ripped into me about every single thing that was “wrong” with me and then told me he was seeing someone else and continued to tell me she wasn’t just a rebound but he really liked her, so after that night I just told him to leave me alone because I was so hurt, but of course I still loved him. And then the next day he apologize profusely and asked for forgiveness and etc. and I told him that I accepted his apology but I just did not have it in my heart to forgive him quite yet and he accepted it and I asked for some more time to myself and he respected that. Then a couple days later, he called me basically crying about how horrible he felt about saying those things and treating me and that he broke things off with this girl because it wasn’t fair to me or her or himself. Then, once again I accepted his apology but I told him I just didn’t have the forgiveness in me yet and I still needed some time to myself and he respected that. So we didn’t talk for maybe a week and a half and then he reached out to me saying he didn’t want to not talk anymore. So I though I would give him a chance just to be friendly and see what happens. So we talked for a couple days and one night he was talking to me late and said That he still loved me and and he never stopped he was just denying himself and his feelings because he didn’t want to put all the effort into our relationship anymore and that it just got to be too much for him and he started to reject his feelings and that he doesnt expect for me to take him back especially after all he’s done but he just needed to get it out And that he was so hostile because he was just denying himself. And so I told him that he knew where I stood, I loved him a month ago and I still love him now but I couldn’t just get back into a relationship (little did I know that was exactly what I wanted actually, I wanted to be with him again right away) and that if he truly loved me he would wait and be patient for me. And so he agreed and then we went on talking for another couple weeks and being friendly but also aware of our feelings for each other, keeping in mind that we may get back together some time. And then all of the sudden after like 3 weeks, he said that he doesn’t want tobe with me every and that he regrets saying that he wanted to be with me, and so that was very hard I was extremely upset because I asked if he meant it(back when he said he still loved me) and if I could trust him and all that and he promised me I could. So we didn’t talk for like a couple days and then I reached out to him go talk and I guess basically try and get him to change his mind-he didn’t. And so we didn’t talk a little more, and then I reached out again and we started talking and just being very chill and I thought it was going good but then he posted on his Snapchat story telling ppl to “hmu” and he made a face and it was clear he wanted to talk to other girls. So I got very upset and I asked him about it and he got very mad. Yk all I did was just say that I didn’t get it because he was talking to me already and it hurt that that wasn’t good enough and I didn’t appreciate him trying to get with other girls right in front of my face, and he said that he didn’t have to care about my feelings anymore and that I couldn’t tell him what to do (I wasn’t) and that since we weren’t dating he didn’t need to care about my feelings ever and he didn’t need to censor himself for my sake. And then he said he didn’t love me anymore and I was so upset and then I basically ended up apologizing for something I didn’t do and told him not to say that and to just not push me away and all this stuff and I told him I’d give him some space for now and he basically just said “fine” and we left it at that. A couple days later, he hadn’t reached out and so I just quickly gave him a very happy thanksgiving text saying that I was thankful for our time last year(we spent thanksgiving together last year so it was very hard) and saying that I missed us. And he said “yeah happy thanksgiving to you too” and then I left it at that, and then 2 days later I reached out basically just saying that I missed him very much and I was wondering if we could just talk and keep in mind that we used to love each other a lot and we spent a year together and it was meaningful and to not get in an argument or short or nasty with each other and so he agreed. And then I asked if I could skype him and he said he didn’t really want to and I just told him I thought it would be the clearest way to talk to each other without things getting mixed up and taken the wrong way (and frankly I just wanted him to see me face). But he said no again and I just tried saying that I thought it was best but it was whatever he wanted and then he said look I don’t even want to do this so I said ok and that I shouldn’t even talk because I was tired and then I just sent him a funny picture that my Snapchat sent me because it was taken on that day a year ago and he said “ stop, quit trying to win me back by bringing up memories” and I said that I was sorry that wasn’t my intention (but of course it kinda was because I just wanted to stir something in him) and that I sent it to him because I thought it was funny and I just said a reminder that I was still the girl who took that photo. And he said “it’s ok” and then I told him I came across this card he sent me a long time ago a couple days ago and I continued to say that I was still her still the girl he sent this too and he said “ just stop” and of course it hurt but I apologized and said that it was unfair and I didn’t want to push and he said “ well you’re pushing” and I said that I knew and I was really sorry about it that it wasn’t my intention, and I didn’t mean to push and whatever and he said “ I forgive you” and then later I responded with a thank you and then he opened the conversation and didn’t reply. This was on Saturday night and we haven’t talked since. I haven’t reached out to him because i assumed he didn’t want to talk, especially since he hasn’t reached out to me. So my plan was to just wait a week or so and see if he responds and if he doesn’t, reassess and

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 29, 2018 at 3:32 am

      Hi Anna….so I can see a lot is going on in your life. I do think you will almost always benefit when you have a sensible ex recovery plan. I can help you with that. Feel free to visit my home page and explore all of the resources and tools!

  3. Lolie

    November 25, 2018 at 11:51 am

    Hi Chris,

    I wrote you on the article early in September, saying my ex did not want contact anymore. After two months of no contact, I reached out to him, to ask him to give me back something. We met, after 6 months. We talked for a long time, about our lives, ate together and he walked me home. He hugged me a long time before leaving. then, I saw him again,we went for a coffee, then to eat. He walked me home and came upstairs. we talked, and he hugged me and kissed me, I did not do the first move. He slept at my place. We met again, because he had to give me back some stuffs. Again we ate together, he walked me home, hugged me. I proposed him to come upstairs and he said he does not want to send me signals but it is what he was doing. He said he likes spending time with me but it does not change what he is thinking. That we do not want the same thing. He came to my place, we had a discussion, very emotional. He said he should leave, but in the end he stayed again. When he left in the morning he kissed and hugged me. Of course we saw each again, yesterday. Coffee, food, and I proposed him to come. He said “you know it’s wrong”. He came. We spent a very nice time together. In the morning we had another talk. Again, that we do not want the same thing, that he is ready to have a serious relation, but not with me. that it does not change what he is thinking, that he felt we lived what we had to. That it is not good for both of us because we cannot really move on. Of course, he admitted we still have this chemistry.
    I acted very cool like, I still have feelings for you and I just want to spend time with you without wondering what we are. I like being with you but I don’t want to put pressure on you.
    I really don’t know what to think of this. If I should leave him go, or not.

  4. sabrina

    November 1, 2018 at 7:44 am

    have tried every possible way to get in touch with you but have failed

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 2, 2018 at 2:39 am

      Hi Sabrina!

      Are you trying to contact me? How can I help you!

  5. Ausisegirl

    November 1, 2018 at 5:46 am

    Hi MyEx and I split up he went to Kalgoorlie I was in Sydney.. we were togofor 4 months 3 months latter I’ve moved down here he asked me if I am moving for him I said Yes he said well don’t because he doesn’t believe in or want a relationship anymore with anyone but he hangs out with me.. we laught I said to him do you still love me and he said I wish I did not but that would be a lie..

    I am madly in love he wants us to be friends but when I text him he won’t reply to any of them tells me not to call only text and when I say I am coming around to see you.. he then textes me and meets up when we do me and him have a good time .. I am so confused!! Is there a chance ?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 2, 2018 at 2:41 am

      Hi there Aussie Girl!

      He is confusing. Give it a bit more time to smooth out.

  6. Melissa

    October 3, 2018 at 6:18 pm

    Chris,
    I live with my boyfriend for 1.5 years. We broke up 2 weeks ago. We are friendly, he told me we can be friends, but he lets me hold his hand, he talks like we are still a couple and he said I can stay as long as I want. I am SO Confused.
    I know he wants a dominant woman, but the confusion all of this has caused I am not feeling dominant at all.
    What can I do? Oh and moving out is not feasable right now. HELP. I have purchased the ex recovery pro in the past but have lost my login information. Anything will help. I am on an emotional roller coaster and it’s mentally destroying me.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 5, 2018 at 2:25 am

      Hi Melissa!

      If you lost your login information for Ex Recovery Pro, simply contact me via the “Contact Form” on this site and ask me to send you another link to your eBook! Or respond back to me using one of the previous emails you would have received from me when I sent you the book.

  7. Virgina Dwiki

    September 23, 2018 at 2:57 am

    Hi..
    I have an ex-boyfriend that doesn’t want me back although I want him back so bad.
    He was my boyfriend during highschool (now both of us are college student. So we broke up around 5 years ago. It was 3 years relationship. )
    I made mistake. He was texting his ex-girlfriend and I got mad and started to play with another boy although I know he didn’t mean it and he just wanted to say “hi” to his ex. But you know, girl can get jealous with that stuff. And I kind of did some “revenge” towards him.
    Although he knew that, he still want me. But I pushed him away. And when he started to date another girl, I realized that I made mistake and want him back. But of course he didn’t want to bcs he found another girl.
    But they broke up after 4 years dating.
    Now, he is single and I’m trying to build a rapport as his friend (although my heart still want him). We hang out several times. He hugs and kiss me, he cares to me,. And I feel like I have chance to get him back. But when I asked him, he didn’t want to go back and said that he feels nothing to me.
    But I want him. What should I do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 23, 2018 at 4:27 pm

      Hi Virginia!

      seems you are getting mixed messages from him. If this continues, consider pulling back and trying no contact. You can learn more about this Principle on my site.

  8. Nadia

    September 16, 2018 at 6:39 am

    My boyfriend and I started out very quickly and moved right in together 2 years ago. Things started getting bad about 8 months ago, we would fight about stupid things. The main thing we fought about was him spending so much time with his mother. She’s sick but not dying and his dad takes care of her for the most part but he was always there. It started taking its toll and I was lonely. Anyway, things just went downhill from there. Well the second week of May we got into a huge fight and he left. He’s been gone ever since. We still talk and we’re still having a physical relationship but that’s about it. 2 weeks ago he decided to come back for good and the second night he was here there was an incident with my son. After that got worked out he left and told me that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. He said deep down he wants us to eventually get back together but that may take a couple of years. He says he doesn’t want to be with anyone ever but if he decides he does than it’ll be with me. He wants me to let him go but I can’t. I’ve been trying for 4 months. But now that he actually broke up with me 2 weeks ago I don’t know what to do. He won’t tell me he loves me anymore, he doesn’t call me babe anymore, I just don’t know what to do but I want him back so bad. And after all of that we are still sleeping with eachother occasionally. So what can I do? How do I get him to come back?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 17, 2018 at 9:32 pm

      Hi Nadia!

      Family issues can cause stress and that was effecting you guys. So you and your ex are sort of in a rut. The relationship is not healthy, but you still hook up, yet are separated in another way. So this could go on for awhile with little improvement or it could get worse. You might consider breaking this routine and go into No Contact, explaining to your ex you need time to heal and also focus in being the best “you”.

  9. Stephanie s

    September 10, 2018 at 11:20 am

    Hey, my ex and I broke up May 31, 2018. I am having a very hard time with this,because I know he is my soulmate. I made various mistakes by talking to other guys and disrespecting him. Currently I am different and he doesn’t see that: he has blocked me on everything and I don’t even know if it’s possible to get him back .

    Thanks,

    I need some help

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 11, 2018 at 12:51 am

      Hi Stephanie!

      Everbody makes mistakes during a relationship. Have you looked at my program? Its best to have an ex recovery plan to inform you how to proceed and optimize your chances.

  10. Lolie

    September 9, 2018 at 11:12 am

    Hello !
    My ex broke up a bit more than 6 months ago, after more than one year of relationship, because I became needy and insecure. He was very sad to break up. After, we have always been in touch and nice to each other. During the first two months, I begged a bit (but I did not send him a lot of texts of instance). We saw each other again after two months, he hugged me and kissed. But when I asked him explanations, he got angry, saying we would not go back together. After two weeks without talking, we starting emailing each other, and he saw my changes as he told me (I started traveling again a lot). We emailed and talk for four months, he was sometimes initiating too, bringing topics and sharing things. We never talked about « us » just our lives, like friends could do. But two weeks ago, he told me he did not see the point of talking, we were not together and he could not forget our past relationship, that we would not go back together. Isn’t it a bit hot and cold behavior or am I just seeing signs where there is nothing ? Should I just wait for him to maybe (who knows) text me ?
    (Just to mention I moved in his country and we were living together after months apart when he broke up, we are separated by distance now but I came back to his city one week ago, for work. And that my ex is the kind of man who wants to stick to his decision..)

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 9, 2018 at 6:57 pm

      Hi Lolie!

      Yes, he is all over the map. Some space and healing necessary on both sides. Then you both will know what you truly want from the other.

  11. Jennifer González

    August 28, 2018 at 5:35 pm

    Hey guys! My ex and i were together for 5 years and 2 months. I can honestly say that we lived through many happy moments during the rust years and he even proposed . We were engaged for about 7 months. These last couples of however were somehow feeling like we were distant from each other. He was caught in a few lies and I suspected him cheating. He was pretty much blaming me for it saying it was because I had gained weight and also he felt like he didn’t love me anymore. I just can’t seem to add up how he doesn’t live me anymore. Well we broke up about 3 weeks ago and he told me he wanted me back , but then changed his mind and said he didn’t think we would ever be back together because he didn’t love me. I honestly think that we had a lot to make this relationship work. I live him deeply and want him back. I made the mistake of texting him after the break up and he told me he wants us to be friends. I don’t want that I want to somehow make him see that we can actually work. I’m trying the 4 weeks no contact rule and see if maybe that helps ? … what do you recommend for me I need help !?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 28, 2018 at 9:27 pm

      Hey Jennifer!

      So 5 years in a relationship plays to your advantage as a bond grows and it is not easy to completely sever. He is wrong to blame you. Never is a breakup the fault of one person. Looks like he was trying to shift and deflect the blame. I agree with you going into NC. You have my book, right? If not, go take a look as it will help optimize your chances as there is much to know.

  12. GG

    August 17, 2018 at 3:36 am

    Hi , we were together for about 4 years with some on and off situations. He said he was tired of being in a relationship mostly because he wanted his space to make his own decisions. It’s been a month and I want him back. I know it’s not up to me, but I am making an effort to see and talk to him hopeing there will be a rekindling of some kind. How do I approach him after we went on 2 “dates” and want to ask him

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 17, 2018 at 1:57 pm

      Hi GG!

      So 4 years together is a strong foundation and gives you some traction and roots wot work with. Guy often will say they need space and most of the time, the do. Only later do they realize they need you more than then need space. Like a fine wine, allowing time to age the attraction. Doing the little subtle things to raise your value. Its also about having a cohesive game plan. Go to my website’s home page and there you will find tools and resources that can help you. I have distilled a lot of my knowledge in some helpful products that can benefit you.

  13. Maneli

    May 5, 2018 at 3:57 pm

    I forgot to say he always told me he liked me but didn’t love me.

    1. Sara

      May 6, 2018 at 7:37 pm

      I had exactly the same problem. He likes me but he didn’t love me. Finally he broke up with me because of that. We were together for almost 2 years and he broke up with me end of March. Now I run No contact rule for ~ 4 weeks but I don’t think I can ever get him back. He doesn’t love me. As simple as it is! I’m totaly broken but What can I do.

    2. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 6, 2018 at 8:27 pm

      Hi again Sara..forgive me for forgetting, but I don’t recall if I told you abut my Private Facebook Support Group. Its a real Community of mostly women who have gone through all types of breakup situation and they draw support and advice from each other. If you wish to learn more about this Group…go to my Website Menu/Products Section!

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 5, 2018 at 11:18 pm

      Hi Maneli…time will tell what his true feeling really are. Guys sometimes don’t like using the love word for fear of losing control.

  14. Maneli

    May 5, 2018 at 3:34 pm

    Hi Chris. We broke up two month ago. But unfortunately I I broke no contact and no texting rules. He didn’t text me back at all. I finally asked him to block my number and social media and he did. I feel so bad about this. But I still miss him. What do you think I should do now? Is there any way to fix this or I should completely forget about him?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 5, 2018 at 11:22 pm

      Hi Maneli…thanks for commenting! I think there are some things you can do to better your chances, so I wouldn’t encourage you to give up. First of all, have you picked up my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro”? (available at my website Menu/Products link). If not, go take a look at it because it will help you immensely. You really need to understand much more about No Contact principle and what you do during and after that process to optimize your chances. Let me know how things develop for you!

  15. Lily

    April 23, 2018 at 10:11 pm

    Me and my ex boyfriend were going out close to a year, after 4 months of dating he moved away for a job so we did long distance. We’d see each other every 2-4 months. We were so happy in our relationship but eventually decided to end it because the distance was hard. We ended on good terms. Since I’ve been in a relationship for close to a year and we haven’t talked. The other night I reached out to him saying how I still have feelings for him and asked fin we could try work things out and be sort of of casually dating while he’s home for 3 months. He said he’s not interested in a relationship at the moment and suggested we be frack buddies. He told me to not get my hopes up thinking he’ll love me again because it’ll end badly. My family has been begging me to get back with him cause we were so happy and we loved each other but it’s hard to do when he doesn’t want it. He moves back home at the end of the year and I’ll be going to University. What do I do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 23, 2018 at 11:47 pm

      Hi Lily…thanks for dropping by. So was he brutally honest or brutally selfish and insensitive about his f buddies comment? Not sure, Long distance can put a monkey wrench into relationships, but I found my wife through a LDR, so there is always hope. But I want you to be pragmatic. It may not work out, so if you pursue it, just know your feelings will be exposed and you could be hurt…again. My gut tells me that he is just casually engaged in the relationship working. I could be wrong. My concern is your emotional health. So I would also recommend you consider joining my Private Facebook Support Group. It consists of about 1500 women right now and they have all been through different breakup situations and help each other. I also show up weekly to do Facebook lives. To learn more, just go to my website Menu/Products link. Let me know how things shake out Lily!

  16. Kk ss

    April 7, 2018 at 9:12 am

    Hey everyone.. I was in a relationship with him for about 18months.. We were just perfect..
    But suddenly he felt that I am sad being with him & he left me.. I miss him so badly.. I asked for the patch up 4-5 times but he rejected & we always ended up with a fight after he rejected me. He not wants to be in a relationship with me but he loves me… Now I have decided to talk sweetly to him & not get angry as usual.. So will he come back? Or it’s necessary to move on.. Please reply.. Am in trouble…

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 7, 2018 at 9:41 pm

      I feel like you have a perception issue.

      You let your emotions control your behaviors and appear unstable to him. You need to work on that.

  17. Victoria

    March 15, 2018 at 4:03 pm

    Hello,
    Me and my boyfriend just broke up a little over a week ago. We were dating for 11 months. The first 9 months were amazing. We never fought about anything and it was the happiest time of my life. We started talking February of last year and quickly we were hooked and we ended up just picking a date that he said I love you, which he said it first. He’s a we not in college now and I graduated last year and I moved back home. I live in NYC and he lives in Philly. The summer time and fall semester was easy we saw each other all the time and went on cute dates and were laughing all the time. We had an argument after Christmas but we moved past it and we both agreed we were doing a lot better and we were both happy. Now that spring semester is here, he’s more busy with baseball and it is very stressful for him. I can tell. I’ve gone to many games to see him play and even taken road trips with his mom. We didn’t get to do many fun things the last month because every weekend he had baseball practice but I always went down to see him even if I spent most of the time waiting for him to come back, I didn’t care I was glad I just got to see him. But anyway last Sunday he said we needed to talk that he didn’t know how he felt anymore and he had been feeling this way for awhile and there was nothing that I could do or could have done differently I was perfect. When I suggested it could be the stress of school and graduating he agreed and said he would love to talk about it before giving up. Unfortunately he didn’t get home till 1am that night so we ended up talking the next night. She. He broke up with me. He just said he wasn’t crazy about me anymore and just wasn’t excited to text me or call me. I was so heartbroken and basically fell apart I can barely remember our conversation because I felt like I was in a for and he made up the decision all by himself and didn’t include me in it. He said he cared about me he just didn’t think it was love. What should I do? I love him so much and only in the end of January he was asking me if I saw him in my furture because he saw one wigh me. How could he fall out of love in two weeks? I honestly,think with the stress from baseball, school, graduating and having to move back home to start his Job has got his emotions all mixed up. I havnt spoken to him since we broke up because I figured space would be best for him. Me and his mom are very close and she told me the same thing. How do I go about this. I love him and I’m not ready to give up on what we had.

  18. SS

    March 8, 2018 at 9:15 pm

    Its been 3 months since the breakup. We were together ant 1.5 yrs in a commuting ldr.

    After a month of nc I established contact but he said he needs more time. Then a week later I accidentally slipped and texted him an emoji (designed in our chat – Inside joke). And he responded well. I tried to communicate since he responded in a very good manner. But it seems he have a pattern of replying every 5 days and after a month plus I feel like he was kinda cold (compared to how responsive he was). And then he told me hes still furious at me at even the thought of talking to me.

    It really shot me down. But I told him I understand it takes time. And its been 2 weeks since.

    Ive tried to talk abt things he enjoys doing and ive been really working on myself. Back to my daily yoga and been trying to stay positive. I listed down things that went wrong and have tried to improve on it.

    Since the breakup both of us had been mia on social media. But once my gf tagged me on a photo and I saw he reacted (I think!) as he hid all his photos on fb.

    I feel a bit stuck here in the planning department and am not sure how to go from here. Do I text him? And if so how do I start? Any advice is appreciated.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 11, 2018 at 5:16 pm

      The bad thing is it looks like it’s obvious that you want him back and at this point, you should move on because if he really wanted to work it out, he already did.. The only chance I can see is to let him initiate for a month, while you continue being active in your life and start being very active in posting.. If it doesn’t progress within the month, move on.

  19. Renee Davies

    February 27, 2018 at 10:01 am

    I broke up with my ex 6months ago. For the first few months he tried to win me back. Then I started arguing and fighting with him over everything. I refused to make it possible to be together. A month ago we decided to try to work it out. I constantly told him he wasn’t trying enough. Now he’s talking to another girl in a different state. He says hes done trying and I’ll never change and he can’t see a relationship with me because I won’t make him happy he’s only been talking to the new girl for 3days. I did the typical begging and crying and he still won’t budge. We have two kids together and still live together. He says he still loves and cares about me but he’s not in love with me. I know I pushed him away and I really want to fix the situation. We we’re together for over 4years. He’s tired of trying and getting the same results. I really need some help on this whole mess.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 27, 2018 at 2:54 pm

      Hi Renee,

      follow the advice on this one:
      EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

  20. Mac

    February 21, 2018 at 10:38 pm

    Me and my ex were together for almost 3 years. Over that time he broke up with me but would come back the next day saying he regretted his decision (most of the time it was due to fights). The last couple of months have been difficult. He started playing footy which required him to train every week night and he also works full time crazy hours. We live an hour away from each other also. Things used to be great but all of a sudden his priorities changed and he put after everything. He would tell me he just doesn’t have time etc. He ended things and then 3 days later came back saying that he just couldn’t stand being without me etc. For about a week and a half things were great and he was saying how much he missed me and wants to work things out. Then all of a sudden we had a small disagreement and things changed. He started to ignore me which made me stress and continue contacting him but that only pushed him further away. He contacted me and said things arent working anymore and hes sorry he dragged me along but he just doesnt want a relationship anymore.

    It’s been 9 days since we last spoke and things ended. He blocked me on facebook but still follows me on Instagram and has been watching my stories and all my friends (he never used to watch my friends stories). Is there hope of him coming back to me? Or is it over for good? Please give me advice.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 25, 2018 at 10:51 pm

      Hi,
      I think he got tired but that doesn’t mean chasing is better than doing nc.

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