There is something that I want you to get used to if you want your ex boyfriend back.
Your ex boyfriend doesn’t want you…
Now, I know that may be a bit harsh but bear with me here.
Too often have I worked with people who have fallen victim to this rhetoric that starting off your ex boyfriend wants you back. While I assume there are some cases where this occurs I can tell you pretty confidently that in most cases this is extremely rare.
In fact, I find that most ex boyfriends won’t talk to you and claim that they are truly done with you.
But then why is it that close to 43% of them end up coming back after it’s all said and done?
Is it even possible to make your ex fall in love with you again?
Well, that’s what I am going to be exploring today with this article.
A Realistic View Of Your Chances And What That Means For You
I find it’s always helpful to take a big picture view of things when you are dealing with a scenario as deeply complex as winning an ex back.
Now, you are reading this article because you want your ex boyfriend back and he has expressed some type of sentiment that he doesn’t want you back, right?
But how often will he change his mind about you?
For the longest time this was a burning question in my mind that I felt no one really had a great answer for.
Hell, I didn’t even have a great answer for it.
I mean, when a woman would come up to me and ask,
“Chris, what kind of chance do I have here?”
I would simply say,
And it does depend but that answer isn’t good enough for you, is it?
No, you are looking for something exact.
So, one day I got this crazy idea.
What if I pooled all of my success stories and knowledge together to come up with a rough percentage of success. Of course, I found that my “rough percentage” was flawed in many ways because this was a sample of the people that I have worked with.
So, I decided to up the ante and ask a few of my relationship expert peers what kind of results they were seeing.
I also wanted to include data done by researchers so that I could come up with an aggregate percentage that was trustworthy.
So, what does all of this mumbo jumbo science talk mean for you?
Well, it means that according to my research, as a baseline, your chances check in around 43%.
Some may think that 43% is good and others may think it’s awful but you have to bear in mind. This 43% success rate is taken from a majority of people who haven’t followed the correct breakup protocol.
In other words, there is definite room for improvement on a 43% chance assuming you do the right things.
Oh, and I think perhaps it’s important to mention that the vast majority of the 43% of successes all had partners who didn’t want them back.
So, what is the secret?
How are they able to convince an ex who doesn’t want them to come back?
Changing His Mind About You, The Door To Door Salesman
I can think of no better analogy to speak on your circumstance than the door to door salesman.
Think about it for a minute.
A door to door salesman is immediately greeted with contempt upon commencing on a sales pitch.
After all, no one likes another person spamming their life with sales pitches.
Right now, you are a door to door salesman and your ex literally wants nothing to do with you.
So, how do we change that?
Well, we need to convince him that you aren’t a door to door salesman. We have to do something to make him think the opposite.
Consider for a moment that two people are trying to sell you a product, for this articles sake lets just keep it simple and say it’s a vacuum.
So, who are the two people trying to sell you this illustrious vacuum?
- A door to door salesman
- Your best friend
The Contempt Of The Door To Door Salesman Pitch
(You answer the door…)
My name is Ricky, your friendly neighborhood vacuum salesman. I wonder if I might have a moment of your day to discuss vacuums. It says here that….
(You slam the door in his face…)
It’s funny to me that people think that they are going to make sales this way.
Everything about the sleazy salesman approach turns people off.
The fact of the matter is that no one likes to feel taken advantage of or pushed too hard to buy something. In fact, when we do push someone too hard we end up pushing them away and therein lies the biggest flaw of the door to door salesman pitch.
It forces people to make a decision based on the recommendation of someone you have never met.
Now, lets compare this to an approach a best friend might take.
The Best Friend Sales Pitch
You have been BFF’s with Lisa since you were in grade school.
The two of you are two peas in a pod…
As thick as thieves…
Now, Lisa isn’t a saleswoman.
No, she is just your best friend and upon having you mention to her that your vacuum broke she decides to make a recommendation.
You know what brand works for me? Shark! It’s great, I have had it for years and it’s the best vacuum I have ever owned.
She didn’t try to sell you a vacuum.
She simply told you about her experience owning one and recommended it to you.
So, you go out and buy it.
Putting It All Together
Now, am I saying that you have to become best friends with your ex in order to get him back.
All I am saying is that your approach needs to dramatically change.
Too often I see people approaching their exes like saleswomen.
You need to come back to me because (insert reason)
You were the best thing to ever happen to me and I was the best thing to ever happen to you.
Please come back… I am nothing without you
This is completely the wrong way to approach the situation. It’s not the right way to sell yourself.
What Is The Right Way To Sell Yourself
One of the most common questions you are probably wondering at this point is if there is any way that you can change his mind about you. Seeing as how it appears he doesn’t want you in his life anymore what can you possibly do?
Well, I thought I’d start by using a pretty fun analogy.
I’m a big fan of fan of Quentin Tarantino and even though it may not seem like it since I have been churning out quite a few articles for the past few week I have been quite sick.
Now, I’m the type of person that tries to turn “being sick” into a positive.
(Yes, I’m one of those.)
So, generally when I get sick I get a lot of free time outside of work and I use it doing all kinds of nerdy things.
I play video games,
I read books,
And I watch movies,
And it just so happened that I ended up watching about 5 tarantino movies while I was sick and I couldn’t help but connect with analogy that one of his characters said in one of his movies.
In the movie, Django Unchained, Dr. King Schultz and Django decide to partner up to rescue Django’s wife who is in the clutches of a slave owner but the problem is that they have no way of being invited onto this slave owners land.
That is when Dr. King Schultz comes up with a plan,
Imagine that a man is trying to buy a horse and he knocks on a farmers door and offers to buy the farmers horse.
What does the farmer say?
He says, no.
So… the man walks up to the farmer’s farm, he knocks on the farmer’s door and asks not to buy the horse, but the farm. And makes an offer so ridiculous, the farmer is forced to say yes.
Now, why do you think I connected to this analogy?
Well, it’s because it plays on the idea of human psychology. In my experience, human beings resist change with everything they have and make no mistake about it a man trying to buy another mans horse is a pretty big change.
So, in order to get past this initial roadblock you have to do something to make it worth it.
In this example it’s offering to buy the farm at a ridiculous price but lets distill this down and connect it to your circumstance.
Right now you want your ex boyfriend back but he doesn’t want you. Of course, you are trying to change that but change doesn’t come easy. What you are currently lacking is a ridiculous offer.
Crafting Your Ridiculous Offer
So, what have we established so far?
- Your ex doesn’t want you but you want him…
- That your ex is going to resist change with everything that he has…
- And that in order to get him to embrace this change you need some kind of ridiculous offer to make it worth his while….
Now, the analogy above with the farmer deals with a monetary means. In other words, offering to buy something for an outrageous amount of money. But we are dealing with something far more difficult, human relationships.
What’s more is that often you’ll find every person has a different preference for what they like in relationships and this is where knowing your ex boyfriend comes into play.
Lets pretend that I am a woman and I am trying to get my ex boyfriend back and it is time for me to craft my ridiculous offer.
How would I go about crafting my ridiculous offer?
Well, the very first thing I would do is take out a piece of paper and start listing what I know my ex is attracted to.
- I know he likes trucks
- I know he is a fan of sci fi movies
- I know he enjoys a girl who isn’t overly clingy
- You get the idea
Basically I want a cheat sheet of what my ex is attracted to and then one by one I am going to go down that list and see how many of those things I like.
Wait… Wait… I see where you are going with this. I don’t like this one bit. I shouldn’t have to become someone I’m not just to get my ex back.
Do you want me to tell you how it is or do you want me to play into the politically correct society that we live in?
Look, I am going to quote from another of my favorite movies that perfectly encapsulates how I feel about this.
What really matters is what you like, not what you are like.
In other words, assuming all things are equal the chances are high that a man is going to be more attracted to a woman who has all of his same interests than one who doesn’t.
Now, am I saying that you need to change your whole personality to appease some “man.”
No, that is not what I am saying at all.
Instead, what I am saying is that you need to add to your personality.
Maybe I wasn’t a fan of trucks but it isn’t going to hurt me to learn everything about them.
Maybe I’m not a fan of science fiction books or movies but it won’t hurt me to read and watch a few.
Do you get where I am going with this?
Essentially my ridiculous offer is becoming someone that my ex cannot pass up on.
Now, as for how you should show your ex this ridiculous offer. Well, I’d like you to explore this website or check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO to understand my process a bit better (I can’t give you everything for free.)
I’d Like To Test Your Ridiculous Offer
Maybe your ex boyfriend has moved on…
If not, maybe he’s not responding to you or texting you back.
Whatever your situation I want to assure you that me and my team are at your disposal and I am about to prove it.
I realize that crafting a “ridiculous offer” can be a little difficult and you might need a little help.
So, here is what I am prepared to do for you today.
Spend some time brainstorming what your ridiculous offer will be. Spend some time figuring out what you need to add to your personality and put it in the comments below.
After you do that we will get back to you with what we think and any adjustments you need to make.