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117 thoughts on “I Regret Breaking Up With My Ex Boyfriend; How Can I Get Him Back?”

  1. Avatar

    Yoyo

    February 14, 2018 at 12:47 am

    Hi~
    Hi~ So i broke up with my ex 5 months ago after being together for a bit more than a year… coz back then i didn’t feel i love him (i liked him, but not love)… He loved me very much and he was very hurt and confused. During these few months, we had a few mutual friends events, then a month and half of NC.
    I’ve been thinking about him and if i pulled the trigger too early too fast?? I reached out to him last Dec and was hoping to have a chat but he wanted to have closure and some time apart. We bumped into each other accidentally at another event not long ago, after a month and half NC… and we managed to talk n clear up a few things.
    I finally decided to have a conversation of the possibility of getting back together but he said he was ready to move on, and now is very confused and unsure that i’m serious of getting back. He said he really likes me and can see us going out for dates and see how things go.. but not getting back right away! I called him after 3 days of that conversation, and asked him if he wants to go out dates, he said it’s too soon for him and he’s not ready! he needs more time to think!
    I’m confused! i thought he loved me and wanted things to work?? It’s been almost 3 weeks that i haven’t heard anything from him…
    Shall i give him more time or I’m living my life meanwhile… but i am very confused that he doesn’t say anything and has no contact… even if it’s a “NO” answer, it’s better than silence 🙁
    thanks for any advice! 🙂

  2. Avatar

    Love Bug

    January 26, 2018 at 10:35 pm

    So I broke up with my ex he was very upset I tried to call but he wasn’t taking my calls. I waited a week and got him to talk to me, now I’m trying to get him to meet for us to talk face to face because it doesn’t seem as if he wants a break up. He is still a bit upset though, still bringing up things that we were arguing about before the break up and not seeing my side. If we do meet up how do I get him to see my side because we do still have to fix the problems that lead to the break up. Also I feel like he has the upper hand due to the fact that I had to chase him a bit because he was upset after the break up, how do I change that dynamic and get him to chase me

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 30, 2018 at 11:07 pm

      have you done the nc rule? If yes, how many times and how long?

  3. Avatar

    Mary Garcia

    January 21, 2018 at 4:47 am

    1) Our relationship was long a steady. We had been together on and off since Oct. 8, 2011. The longest break we had was 7 months in 2013. The shortest was only a few hours long. We last got together on October 29, 2017 and we were fully committed and devoted to each other. we always talked about marriage and children and the prospect of a happy future together. He even gave me a promise ring to show his devotion to me. Everyone always thought we were lucky to have found each other. He was very sweet and affectionate throughout our entire relationship, I’m a little dryer in this aspect but have always tried my best. He never had his own mode of transportation so, local travel for the both of us as we got older depended on me and I have to admit, in the beginning I would be kind of a flake- arrive late or tell too late that I wouldn’t be coming to what’s planned. I was 17/18 and I always got away with it with my parents so I didn’t expect it to be a big deal. I realized later on that i was invalidating his feelings and not making him feel valuable to me, so I worked on it. I was severely depressed before and during the first half of our relationship and he helped me get through it. I can honestly say he’s saved me from myself for if it weren’t for him I may very well be in jail, committed, or even dead. We’ve transferred different habits to each other- most of them good- and have even travelled out of the country together. My family is latin, and as such are very traditional when it comes to dating: they’re very respectful of our boundaries, as two loving adults spending time with each other, whenever he would come over. His family, not so much ( and it eventually led it our break up), more particularly his mother and one of his younger brothers. They would always interrupt our time together, which is very limited and was especially valuable in the beginning because we live 30 minutes away from each other and none of us drove, so we depended on others or public transportation to get around. I always found it rude and disrespectful. They would always ask him favors, sometimes barg in without knocking, yell his name from across the house- his younger brother would sometimes take him away from me for 20 minutes to talk about current events in the family business, sometimes at inappropriate times, like at 9pm on a Friday. Or he’d call when my boyfriend is taking down time with me at my house, which is a much more peaceful and quieter environment than his house or his community, and speak on the same topic- or sometimes even unimportant topics or topics already previously spoken about for a long duration of time. It was not unusual for him to ruin intimate Sunday mornings for us. His mother however, would take infrequent low-blows like taking him away from celebrating my birthday or forcing him to clean the house when I come over. It eventually got so bad that his little brother had to be spoken to. As of recent he stopped bothering us. But, after reflecting on our break up I realize now that his inability to stand up for himself and our relationship to his family to respect the relationship kind of took a really big toll on us. As previously stated before, he works the family business. It’s a small business consisting of both of his parents, himself, and his younger brother. Because of this the dynamic is weird considering they all live together. Sometimes work is talked about at wildly inappropriate hours and this used to stress him out. I’ve advised him on boundaries and he’s doing much better on it. Because his parents are “older” parents, they seek to pass the business down to him and his brother but I never approved of it and neither has he. He has personally verbalized it to them, and they’ve chosen not to listen. Personally, I don’t think it’s worth much money to be burdened with (we’re from 2 different socioeconomic classes- I grew up upper-middle class, and his family is aggressively middle-middle class. The lifestyle that they provide themselves in not one I want to obtain- they work all the time and never vacation) and his work with them is not fulfilling to him. This has also caused some friction between us- because of his inability to travel locally it’s very complicated to look for work elsewhere as we live in a very car dependent society. I feel that because of this, he thinks that any amount of moral support I will give him will never be enough, as he does say I’ve always lacked in that department. I would think it’s very hard to morally support someone who doesn’t like what they do. I feel that this aspect in his life is very bleak also, considering his parents will also not help provide transportation for him to continue going to school despite them wanting him to continue his education. He wants to be a music publisher, producer, and instrumentalist. He’s also talked about being in his own band, before. These are the things I’ve supported him in doing. Nonetheless, he’s been an amazing supporter to me despite voicing his concerns of his uncertainty that my future will work out in my favor. I seek to be the creative director/CEO of my own fashion house. This is not what I’ve always wanted to do, so my timeline is a little behind and understandably, everyone’s concerned. But, I’m working through my goals little by little and in due time, I will have credentials for what I do or to take me to the next step in my journey. He has supported me by helping me with assignments, and even buying my school supplies. He likes to be helpful and he’s a very helpful person, but I feel like it allows others to take advantage of his time, services, and his patience- a position I don’t like to see my man in and this was one of the last conversations I had with him. Taking on the worlds of others on his shoulders with back breaking work and being the noble that he is to do this to others got old for me and it’s a very emasculating role his parents, mostly his mother, has put him into (btw, his mother has literally emasculated him in public in front of their work colleagues. I believe this is a serious issue in their dynamic and has greatly effected my relationship with him). In my opinion, no one wants to see their big, strong, man in such a compromising position- sometimes you have to take/do/say what you want and that was the last piece of advice I gave him. We had previously spoken about changing our sexual dynamic as well and I felt like he was being too sweet and it really took me out of the mood. Like, I like a man that knows what he wants and takes it. I’ve always been a submissive woman and have taken a passive role in my love life ever since I started dating. So, our sex live was in the midst of a drastic change by the time we broke up. He did have an emotional affair with an old ex of his when we were together, but i don’t believe we ever physically cheated on each other. When arguments got bad, I have to admit, i reverted to name calling and cursing. This was something I noticed i carried on from watching my parent’s marriage and I didn’t know it was abusive behavior until it became a discussion to be had. He also had his abusive tendencies- we broke up because he was being emotionally abusive. Our relationship sustained the trauma of 3 abortions. He was very helpful and supportive especially during the first 2 ones, but after the last one became very inconsiderate, I guess from his family playing tug-of-war with me for his attention. I like to think that he became inconsiderate of me partially because of them and because he got used to me being around all the time and getting comfortable with the idea of us being together forever, so I would just put up with everything.
    2) My break up was heart-breaking and intense. I felt so let down by him and so disappointed. It was so anger-fueled, too. But, it may have also had shallow reasons behind it. Our breaking up was avoidable and he tried to make up for it. But, I was not willing to compromise and feel I may have been stubborn.
    3) We’ve been broken up for 2 days, now so not much has happened. Coincidently, this is the weekend I was suppose to be celebrating my birthday and he was in charge of planning it. Considering that he failed to plan it accordingly in the first place (which was one of the reasons we broke up), I had to work around it- this news coming to me the Thursday before the weekend. Also, I don’t feel like being in a happy cheery mood, so I don’t even feel like celebrating myself. But, I have made a new friend whom I’ve known for awhile now and she’s been very supportive of me through all of this, even making plans to celebrate my birthday. I don’t have much friends and I like to think that my ex was my best friend, just as I was his. I’ve also made plans to start going to work again soon and start hitting the gym more, as I’ve just recently gotten my gym membership back.

    On to the reason we broke up: we broke up on Thursday over plans for my birthday and current family affairs that I felt didn’t concern me. He wanted to celebrate me the weekend before my birthday, which is this coming Monday. I initially didn’t want it to be made into a big deal because it’s January and I’ve always been given busy work by my previous teachers, professors, employers, etc. around this time. All I wanted to do and all I was excited for was going to the Museum of Ice Cream which is a pop up museum (it moves around, traveling city to city). I am an Instagram promoter and was planning on taking pictures with an outfit I was planning on promoting. This was an outfit I had partially invested on, so I had already made investments towards this outing and he was my photographer. I also wanted to show off what I cool outing I was at for my birthday. As expected, tickets were selling out very quickly, so a month prior to our set date I provided him a link so that he may get us tickets for my birthday. He assured me that everything would be taken cared of and continually asked what else I wanted to do for my birthday. first of all, it’s cold, i’m not sure I want to be going out like that and 2) I was expected to be on my period around my birthday, so my desire to get dressed and be out was not all that high and I only added that I wanted to get my nails done. The Thursday before my birthday I found out that not only had he never gotten our tickets to the Museum of Ice Cream but that tickets have been sold out for weeks. I was so heart-broken. How could he lie to me? How could he not tell me this sooner? He knew I was buying an outfit for this occasion and not only was I not going to have him with me on the days we planned to be together, but his mother apparently needed him to move her mother’s household belongings into a a storage unit because her home is being foreclosed. I was very offended that his family would make this MY problem on MY birthday. out of all the weekends to to this there couldn’t be any other ones? Out of all the men she’s surrounded by (she has 3 sons, a step son, and a husband, all which are able-bodied) and out of all the options she’s had, like properly planning for her mothers futures or hiring a moving company to move her belongings she had to keep MY man, my ONLY man, on the celebration of MY birthday and he saw nothing wrong with it. In fact, he blamed all the problems surrounding my birthday on me, saying that I want too much (i only wanted 3 things, btw) or that the holidays effected him, or that i’m being selfish around a time that is effecting his family negatively. Like, that’s not my problem. Adults budget their money and plan for their parent’s futures. If getting these museum tickets was such a foreseeable problem why not tell me about it sooner? He did try to keep us together by last minute emailing the museum to be notified of any other ticket openings, but that’s so offensive. When we spoke on Thursday, not only did he not get us our museum tickets, but he had yet to reserve my nail appointment or make the dinner reservations that he planned, which was to an up-scale restaurant. Like, I felt like I ment nothing to him at that point. And what’s worse is that I’ve gotten on his ass about booking our formal dates last minute, too. Their would be discussions of us attending a movie, maybe a week before it’s released, only for us to go to the theater and him not having booked us tickets, having to go theater to theater looking for tickets. Like, wtf? If you’re gunna plan something, work on booking/initiating a plan to make sure the plan actually happens. I’m not about to go theater to theater looking for tickets are being given a shitty seat. It’s so unromantic and the lack of planning of it is just so unattractive. There was no way I was going to settle for that for my birthday. Ever since I was young it was instilled in me that I should be treated like a queen. Why should I settle for less? I mean, like I said before he did try to avoid me leaving him for this by trying to book my shit last minute and possibly taking w.e. offers opened up, it any, for the museum. But, just all of it was wrong. Making me worry about my birthday celebrations was wrong, making me fight with him about my birthday celebrations was wrong, making me worry about other people’s shit around the celebrations of my birthday was wrong, and making me settle for w.e. I was going to be given by a third party was wrong. On top of that, he made my emotions and thoughts on everything surrounding this so invalidating. Like, I seriously felt like I ment nothing to him at this point. I mean, I know I don’t mean “nothing” to him, because after I broke up with him he told me he loved me. But, it’s like, where’s the fight? He tried to compromise with his mother and me, but in my opinion, that was the wrong move. She should’ve let me have him this one weekend and he should’ve stood up for me and for us and settled it then and there. But, what do you think? Do I have a chance of being back with him? What are my options for NC if he wishes me a happy birthday? Does NC even apply to my situation? As a third party person reading all of this SHOULD I even go back to him? I know if I do I’m going to have to have a talk with him about his mother, if not, I’ll speak with her myself because I’ve done a lot of reflecting these past 2 days and everything is just coming back to me and some of the stress that come from the work place in her home and within our relationship always seems to originate from her and her decisions and how she emasculates my ex. We would also need to work on improving ourselves in the relationship, too – me with morally supporting him on his journey and being less verbally abusive when we fight and him standing up for himself and making me feel more emotionally valid. Literally, any advice on getting him back would be helpful. I truly believe he’s my soulmate and I’ve never had issues with it before, but this break up was very ugly and I want to make sure I’ve gotten the message across that I should valued all the time and that our relationship should be valued all the time and that he should be able to stand up for us like the man that he is, or that I at least want him to be.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 21, 2018 at 3:35 pm

  4. Avatar

    A

    December 28, 2017 at 3:45 pm

    Hi. I recently just broke up with my boyfriend of just over 2 years. We have broke up twice before and it was always me acting impulsively. This time I said some pretty bad things, instead of talking rationally I just said this is my problem – we should end it so we’re not unhappy. He reacted by blocking me completely, understandably. He is amazing and loves falling in deep love. I want to stick to the NC rule but am scared he will find someone else pretty quickly. There are other reasons he will get over this quickly and I don’t want that to happen, I.e. antidepressants. Scared of how to play this. A

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 28, 2017 at 8:21 pm

  5. Avatar

    Sam

    December 28, 2017 at 8:01 am

    I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 months during a heated argument. He then ignored me after I apologized and obviously regretted it. I reached out a lot following the breakup and he ignored all my attempt. We bumped into each other in person a lot as well and he ignored me in person also. He initiated contact after about a month when he saw me out when I stopped reaching out, he basically just said he saw me. We had a casual conversation after for a few days but when I asked to clear the air he started ignoring me again. We had a great relationship and spent everyday together. My family loved him and couldn’t really believe how similar we were. Why won’t he just say he doesn’t want to talk or tell me to just stop? I really don’t know what else to do. I feel horrible with how we left things and I’ve tried to make it better. We were together for Around 4 months and it’s been a month and a half since the breakup.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 28, 2017 at 7:21 pm

      Hi Sam,

      maybe him not answering is his way of saying it.

  6. Avatar

    Sam

    December 28, 2017 at 7:59 am

    I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 months during a heated argument. He then ignored me after I apologized and obviously regretted it. I reached out a lot following the breakup and he ignored all my attempt. We bumped into each other in person a lot as well and he ignored me in person also. He initiated contact after about a month when he saw me out, basically just saying he saw me. We had a casual conversation after for a few days but when I asked to clear the air he started ignoring me again. We had a great relationship and spent everyday together. My family loved him and couldn’t really believe how similar we were. Why won’t he just say he doesn’t want to talk or tell me to just stop? I really don’t know what else to do. I feel horrible with how we left things and I’ve tried to make it better. We were together for Around 4 months and it’s been a month and a half since the breakup.

  7. Avatar

    Amanda

    December 25, 2017 at 6:18 am

    Hi, my story seems complicated. I’ve been with my fiance for almost 10 years. We argue every now and then. Nothing major or went to bed angry about. I tend to say hurtful things through an argument. (I know I need to work on this) a little over a week ago we argued for a while via text. I got so upset I told him to get out. He stayed with a friend. Then wanted to talk next day. I wasn’t ready. He left and then when I apologized and asked him to come home. He said he needed space. For 5 days I did all the wrong things. I gnatted. Begging for answers. Pleading with him everything I could have done wrong. 2 nights ago I pushed him to say he wasn’t coming back. It’s been 2 days in NC. I feel he is moving on, I wonder if I should too. I really don’t want to.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 27, 2017 at 5:53 pm

      Hi Amanda,
      Follow the advice above first..if it doesn’t work, then move on..

  8. Avatar

    Terri

    December 1, 2017 at 11:22 am

    I broke up with him with zero warning last week because of pictures he liked on fb. I blocked him and didn’t allow him to explain. Once I cooled off, I reached out. He said I broke his heart that he loves me and had considered putting a ring on my finger. He said I had thrown away our future. We talked and agreed to try again. That conversation was last Friday night. All this week, he has had the flu and has barely communicated at all or made any effort to keep in touch. He will only reply if I reach out. I told him if he has had a change or heart and does not want to try again, to let me know. He said he does want to work it out and is sorry and is just very sick. That was a couple days ago. I finally sent him another long emotional text saying basically that he obviously doesn’t want to try so I change my mind and don’t want to work it out either. Now of course, I haven’t heard from him. I have not tried to reach out since. Nor has he. What do I do? Have I lost him for good? He did tell me a few days ago there was no other and that there would be no other that his love for me is real. He treated me like a queen and I let my jealousy interfere. But to me him being sick was an excuse. Yes he was sick, but would that really keep a man from staying in contact with the woman he supposedly loves?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 4, 2017 at 6:38 am

      Hi Terri,

      how long were together? and how many times have you broken up?

  9. Avatar

    Ha Thu Nguyen

    November 30, 2017 at 2:22 pm

    Hello,
    I broke up with my LDR ex more than one month ago because he kept saying he was tired and needed time. I was angry so I did the breakup thru msg, whennhe saw that he blocked me immediately. A week later i texted him on messenger said i was sorry and didnt mean that. He said he was too tired and thought that was clear for both of us and told me to not make him upset more.
    I was hurt and went no contact immediately for 30 days. Yesterday i texted him the first msg which is very positive like i was hanging out and something reminded me of him. He texted back asked me how i am. Then i texted back ok, sorry for the bitter word i said when breakup and hope we can be friends. He said doesnt want friends, not want keep contact with ex.
    That disappoints me so much while i feel im on good track.
    What should be my next move?
    Thanks a lot
    Hope to get your reply soon
    Ha

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 30, 2017 at 8:40 pm

      Wrong kind of text..dont apologize and ask to be friends because that looks like you’re chasing… That means you either have to do one last nc of 45 days or move on.

  10. Avatar

    Justine

    November 29, 2017 at 12:46 am

    Hi Amor,
    I’ve been building rapport for a month. Our date is coming up in a few days and I’m worried he will flake…What should I do?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 29, 2017 at 2:54 pm

      If he does, go out with your friends or by yourself on that day

  11. Avatar

    Annabelle

    November 28, 2017 at 12:57 pm

    Hi Ashley, thanks for your time and loooking forward to hearing your thoughts and advice.

    I dated my ex boyfriend for half a year and was blissfully happy with him until I found out about the girl he’d been seeing casually before me and that they had continued to sleep together multiple times after he started dating me, although I knew he had since stopped. He denied it and told me he wanted a future with me and had no feelings for her anymore. I however continued to read his phone secretly and torture myself with the information, the girl was also harassing me and sending me messages, and after a month of this I felt I had to break up with him.

    For the next month he continued to contact me and try to see me, I was polite about it but always refused and in the end was just blowing him off. I was also really active on social during this time. It was all a defense mechanism because I still had feelings for him and was too scared to meet up, although I wanted to. Then he stopped being in touch after a month.

    Another month passed and during this time I worked on myself, was really active with friends, traveled, did a lot of yoga, and released the anger I had about him, realized how truly special what we had is and how much I just want to be honest and open, instead of sneakily reading messages etc. He made mistakes and we both have issues to work on but I believe we can, and that we are right for each other, and I would like to start fresh. I reached out and contacted him, we spoke a couple times and met up to have a drink and for him to give me my things. I didn’t bring up wanting to get back together yet. He seemed quite sad and shaken up to be around me and seemed to have really missed me, but we just kept it light and made small talk, I figured I would bring things up next time.

    After that he went on a 1-2 week trip and while he was gone I noticed he had become Facebook friends with a random girl he had no mutual friends with a week before his trip and he was publicly posting flirty messages with her on his wall, which seems really out of character. When he got back I contacted him to see if we could meet up again. He told me yes but that he wanted to let me know he is seeing someone else right now so it wouldn’t be awkward. I replied truthfully and told him that I had been thinking about him since we met up and had wanted to see how he feels about us but that since he has a new gf I will just leave it now and good luck. He didn’t reply and it has been 2 weeks now.

    The other girl is complete and total opposite of me, and when I checked I could see she had been stalking my social media before I even knew about her.

    I don’t know what to do at this point and would appreciate your help and suggestions.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 29, 2017 at 2:25 pm

      Hi Annabelle,

      Check this one:
      How To Win Back An Ex Who Is With Someone Else

  12. Avatar

    Gabrielle

    November 28, 2017 at 11:59 am

    Hello EX Boyfriend Recovery Team! I broke up with my boyfriend of three and a half months based off impulse. My boyfriend is very anti-social so he has no social media and does not talk to much people for personal reasons I know of. I believed the rumors of others and confronted him about them (there was no cheating, etc) He denied them but since I was so emotional at the time, I wasn’t really listening to what he was saying., I was pretty much a bitch to him and as he even said “im here still to talk to you” i would reply “bye” after every response he gave me. I got so frustrated broke it offf saying “I hope you treat your next girl right” and told him how much I love him but I dont know anymore. The next day it didnt feel right breaking up with him that i sent a text saying call be back im sorry i want to work things out, no response. I called later that day no response and texted “baabe please answer i feel horrible” its been a few days i havent heard from him. We were in a LDR andour families are friends. 1. our relationship was fine before the break up 2. I basically wrote above lol 3. I havent contacted him since because he hasnt answered me back. Im scared because I really care for him a lot which I argued with him in the first place (0ver a matter of his). Thanks team for your time 🙂

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 29, 2017 at 1:38 pm

      Just give him time…maybe a week and then contact him again..

  13. Avatar

    Gisele

    November 28, 2017 at 12:58 am

    Hello EXBR team,
    I recently broke up with my boyfriend two days ago off impulse. I went a little too far with our mini argument and basically told him things I do not mean. I went off on what people were telling me and not listening to him. I basically believed others than him. I feel I dragged out the arguement more than I should have instead of listening. I acted very immature and petty and saying bye everytime he responded back to my text. After I said “hopefully you treat your next girl right” and some other things he didn’t reply back. I texted him the next day to apologize and he didn’t answer I also called and texted a bit later that day telling him I feel horrible for the day before. I haven’t heard from him then. What steps should I take in order to get him back but also I want to know why he may not be replying back. I regret breaking it off because it just doesn’t feel right. Also he doesn’t have social media and we’re long distance. Also, we’re our families are friends lol. Thanks team for your time!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 29, 2017 at 1:39 pm

      Just give him time…maybe a week and then contact him again..

  14. Avatar

    N

    November 27, 2017 at 7:36 pm

    Hey there!
    I broke up with my ex 3 months ago. We were together for a year and had an amazing relationship, despite our differences, and us belonging to different faiths. However, he moved away to USA 4 months back for further studies. I’m from India and the distance did daunt me initially but when he suggested we continue long distance, I agreed. But only coz he was going away, I was always insecure about our future. Friends would ask me questions like, “If you aren’t sure about a future together, what’s the point of doing long distance?” As logical as that may sound, I still wanted to give it a shot because he sounded so confident about it and we trusted each other a lot. But, after a month, I let my insecurities regarding a future get the better of me and decided to end things. He was really heartbroken, but a few days later, I regretted the decision and pleaded him to get back. But he obviously didn’t want to, and said that we should just talk and take things slow instead, and this went on for 3 months with fights and arguments on and off. I realised it was a terrible idea as we ended up fighting a lot, probably coz both of our emotions were all over the place. He became really hypersensitive after the breakup as I abandoned him when he was feeling vulnerable in a totally new place. We had a fight again recently after which I sent a damage control message of sorts and immediately started No Contact, about 5 days ago. He didn’t respond to that text or try reaching out to me ever since. My situation is a little more complex probably coz of the different faiths and distance factors. Please do let me know if I can do anything else to make my situation better and win him back.
    Thanks a lot!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 28, 2017 at 2:11 am

      Hi N,

      it’s not yet too late, check this one:
      Learn How She Got Her Long Distance Ex Boyfriend Back

  15. Avatar

    N

    November 26, 2017 at 5:41 pm

    Hey there!
    My ex and I were together for a year and then he moved to USA for further studies. We had an amazing relationship while he was here, so he suggested we do long distance, though I was always apprehensive as we were uncertain about having a future together as we belong to different faiths; so doing long distance seemed pointless. But, I thought I’ll give it a shot as it was too early to think about marriage and we weren’t settled yet career wise. Again, I kept having these thoughts coz of the societal pressures, like it’s been mentioned in the above article. But a month later, I broke it off coz I got very insecure that he’ll leave me. I was also very insecure coz my first ex had cheated on me. So, I sort of let that creep into this relationhip as well a couple of times, and jeapordized it this time. But in my heart, I know that he never did me any wrong, and in fact, loved me unconditionally from day one. And now, I really want to get him back.
    We continued talking for 3 months after the breakup as friends (which was a blunder coz it only made the situation worse as we were both hurt and ended up fighting a lot). I hence decided to start No Contact 2 days back. Am I too late? He’s also very stubborn as a person so I’m not sure if he’ll reach out to me during NC. He was very hurt coz I dumped him when he was at his most vulberable in a foreign country. I’m guessing it’ll take a long while before he brings down the walls he’s built around him. Please let me know if I can do anything else to make my situation better.
    Thanks!!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 28, 2017 at 2:11 am

      Hi N,

      it’s not yet too late, check this one:
      Learn How She Got Her Long Distance Ex Boyfriend Back

  16. Avatar

    Tatianna

    November 26, 2017 at 2:44 pm

    Tell me what your relationship was like before the breakup.
    Our relationship was pretty good. Sure we had our ups and downs but every relationship has them. We met as friends before parting ways, he had to go back to his home country. We then became a long distance couple and he came back for me and stayed with me for about 4 months until he had to leave again. The first month after he left was pretty fine but then after a fight over phone call, he stopped calling and we just messaged each other. The messages became more brief and were less frequent. A month later, I broke up with him because he felt distant to me. He says he understood my decision and that it was all his fault because he was too busy with school and work and became very emotionally distant towards people – his friends, family and me, but says he wishes to communicate sometimes and maybe we can meet again someday. I wished him the best but after a day, I felt so bad as I never knew he was undergoing a lot of pressure from his situation in his home country and I felt like I was being selfish on breaking up with him. In the spur of the moment, I sent him a message saying if we can rekindle our relationship someday when the time is right. He only tells me I’ll probably be having a change of heart when that time comes and says that I should also focus on myself. It has been 2 days since our breakup and it’s really hitting me pretty bad. I wanna get back with him but we live apart, next January I will be moving to a closer country to his but I still don’t know if we can get back together.

  17. Avatar

    BB

    November 24, 2017 at 9:45 pm

    I broke up with my ex a few days ago via email. He works in a remote location and we have no other way to communicate. We have been together for 3 years. I’m 31, he’s mid-30’s. We were arguing before I broke up with him because we seem to be having the same arguments with him not trusting me and accusing me of things and me wanting more out of the relationship like in the early days. I want to feel more secure and appreciated and for him to make more effort like I do. I’m at a point in my life where I want to start talking about getting married and having a family. I’ve worked hard on my career and finances to allow me to do this without struggling. I told him a few months back that these are things I want in my life. He said he isn’t going to be pressured into anything and doesn’t care either way if we do those things but in saying that, that I’m the first woman he’s been with that he would consider doing those things with and he told me the kind of wedding he would want with me (in quite a bit of detail). We haven’t spoken about it since but I have seen him looking in the ring section of jewellery stores a few times. Considering this arguing, I felt that if he probably doesn’t want those things with me (or he would have just said so) or to improve our relationship and that I should just end things and move on with my life. I feel like I regret breaking up with him because I know how good we can be. If I start trying to work on us getting back together, can I attach conditions to it? I want things to go back to how they were in the first two years where we both made an effort. How do you fit that into the process? When we start building rapport after NC do I just start bringing up things I miss from back then?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 27, 2017 at 5:24 am

      Hi Bb,

      Bring those up once you get him back..not in the time that you’re rebuilding rapport

  18. Avatar

    Ava

    November 24, 2017 at 12:47 pm

    We were together for about a month and a half but we were friends a few months before we started dating. We were long distance but he lived in my hometown which was cool. I had helped in through a really tough spot in his life. And not long after I asked if he liked me and he said yes. BUt anyways. I came out as bisexual to him and we “broke” up. We never really said, “I want to break up.” But we basically did. He called me a day or two after the breakup. So he broke the no contact rule, so I don’t know what that means? He has had 2 relationships after me. I’ve tried to date other people but it hasn’t worked out. I really miss him and want to try to get back with him. But, I don’t know how he’ll react if I try to contact him. I’m really nervous but I want him back .What should I do?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 24, 2017 at 4:56 pm

      Hi Ava,

      No contact rule means you’re the only one knowing that you’re doing it.. That means if he calls or texts you, you don’t answer.. Restart nc, do at least 30 days..

  19. Avatar

    K.

    November 24, 2017 at 5:33 am

    Sorry, Amor – the part containing my question got cut off for some reason when I was writing and I didn’t realize it until now. Yes, I actually wondered about both things, but especially about what was the suggested step to take next in this case. As for the chances of him changing, I didn’t presume NC itself would make him change, but he did say that he would take the time to really think about his actions, etc (so it kind of gave me a bit of hope he would actually do something with how he behaves). Still, thanks for telling me this – I’ll try not to have any expectations regarding this.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 24, 2017 at 2:54 pm

      That’s ok.. Do nc.. Try at least 30 days.. Focus in improving yourself and be active in posting

  20. Avatar

    Justine

    November 23, 2017 at 9:20 pm

    1. We were dating casually for 2 months. He told me he was really looking forward to a relationship with me and things were going so smoothly. He’d call me every week, and we’d text all the time. He had plans every week. We had a lot of fun together, took things slow (only kissed after 5 dates) and we had common goals and vision for life.
    2. I thought he lied to me. He tried to explain and call but I didn’t wanna hear him out. I was a few months out of a toxic relationship and I had a hard time trusting. I basically blew up on him then cut him off. I didn’t talk to him for 6 months.
    3. I worked on myself A LOT. I moved into a new apartment with friends. I’m starting pursue my dreams outside of work. I started classes on things I never thought I could do, like acting, yoga and dance. I do a lot of self care now and actively worked on healing my past wounds.
    Basically, I reached out to him and ended up apologizing. I got out there and realized we had a lot in common and really understood each other. He was really receptive and asked me to dinner. I went and we had a blast. He told me how he missed me and how good we could be together. But that was a month ago. He goes days without texting but he mostly contacts me to set up plans. We had plans a week ago, but he flakes and rescheduled for next week. I’m always sweet to him and understanding but I can’t lie, it hurts my ego lol He used to not be like this. When we first dated, he was much more attentive, always texted and never ever flaked. I feel like I’m being jerked around with mixed signals but then again, I get it cuz of how you said I have to rebuild trust. Any advice for me?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 24, 2017 at 2:36 pm

      Hi Justine,

      How long have you been building rapport?

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