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Ava
November 24, 2017 at 12:47 pm
We were together for about a month and a half but we were friends a few months before we started dating. We were long distance but he lived in my hometown which was cool. I had helped in through a really tough spot in his life. And not long after I asked if he liked me and he said yes. BUt anyways. I came out as bisexual to him and we “broke” up. We never really said, “I want to break up.” But we basically did. He called me a day or two after the breakup. So he broke the no contact rule, so I don’t know what that means? He has had 2 relationships after me. I’ve tried to date other people but it hasn’t worked out. I really miss him and want to try to get back with him. But, I don’t know how he’ll react if I try to contact him. I’m really nervous but I want him back .What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 24, 2017 at 4:56 pm
Hi Ava,
No contact rule means you’re the only one knowing that you’re doing it.. That means if he calls or texts you, you don’t answer.. Restart nc, do at least 30 days..
K.
November 24, 2017 at 5:33 am
Sorry, Amor – the part containing my question got cut off for some reason when I was writing and I didn’t realize it until now. Yes, I actually wondered about both things, but especially about what was the suggested step to take next in this case. As for the chances of him changing, I didn’t presume NC itself would make him change, but he did say that he would take the time to really think about his actions, etc (so it kind of gave me a bit of hope he would actually do something with how he behaves). Still, thanks for telling me this – I’ll try not to have any expectations regarding this.
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 24, 2017 at 2:54 pm
That’s ok.. Do nc.. Try at least 30 days.. Focus in improving yourself and be active in posting
Justine
November 23, 2017 at 9:20 pm
1. We were dating casually for 2 months. He told me he was really looking forward to a relationship with me and things were going so smoothly. He’d call me every week, and we’d text all the time. He had plans every week. We had a lot of fun together, took things slow (only kissed after 5 dates) and we had common goals and vision for life.
2. I thought he lied to me. He tried to explain and call but I didn’t wanna hear him out. I was a few months out of a toxic relationship and I had a hard time trusting. I basically blew up on him then cut him off. I didn’t talk to him for 6 months.
3. I worked on myself A LOT. I moved into a new apartment with friends. I’m starting pursue my dreams outside of work. I started classes on things I never thought I could do, like acting, yoga and dance. I do a lot of self care now and actively worked on healing my past wounds.
Basically, I reached out to him and ended up apologizing. I got out there and realized we had a lot in common and really understood each other. He was really receptive and asked me to dinner. I went and we had a blast. He told me how he missed me and how good we could be together. But that was a month ago. He goes days without texting but he mostly contacts me to set up plans. We had plans a week ago, but he flakes and rescheduled for next week. I’m always sweet to him and understanding but I can’t lie, it hurts my ego lol He used to not be like this. When we first dated, he was much more attentive, always texted and never ever flaked. I feel like I’m being jerked around with mixed signals but then again, I get it cuz of how you said I have to rebuild trust. Any advice for me?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 24, 2017 at 2:36 pm
Hi Justine,
How long have you been building rapport?
Rhea
November 23, 2017 at 2:35 pm
Me & my bf broke up about 3 months ago. We met through fb & were in a relationship for 4/5 months. And we broke up on mutual understanding but after our break up I started missing him and asked him to meet me twice but both the times he said he was busy with his work. And after that i went on NC and it’s been about 2 months that we haven’t talked with each other. I also deleted him from all my social media. But he doesn’t seem to care about that and I don’t think he misses me. But I cry every night because I miss him a lot. He hasn’t texted or called me yet. And he hasn’t deleted the sketch of him that made from his Instagram.Does it mean he still has some feelings for me or is he over me?How can I get him back without looking needy? HELP!
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 24, 2017 at 12:51 pm
Hi Rhea
Nc period means you have to be active in improving and posting..just make your posts public if you’re not friends.. Do that first..after 21 days initiate contact.. Take everything as a restart and think as if he had moved on..
Sammie
November 23, 2017 at 7:13 am
We were together for 10 months and LD for 6 months. LD came so natural for us. We were so in love it felt like we were made for each other! The last time we got to spend quality time together was 4 months before I broke up with him. During the last month before the breakup he had started getting more distant, less affectionate and I felt like I was being ignored more often than not. We would have these micro fights because I wasn’t getting attention from him. I could feel myself overcompensating in the relationship and becoming obsessed with him. It wasn’t until I heard an unconfirmed rumor that he was snap chatting a girl he used to sleep with about coming to visit her. I called him at least 20 times and sent multiple texts. He agreed to call me when he could. I wanted for 4 hours and he never called. I ended the relationship via voicemail and have not heard from him since. That same night that He deleted his Snapchat account all together. I sent a simple “I’m sorry” text two nights later but I immediately started NC. I have learned how to breathe on my own again and be myself! I’m Learning how to love myself and be independent again!! I know he loved and missed me still. I just feel like I was immature about the whole situation and I’m learning to grow from it.
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 24, 2017 at 12:09 pm
Hi Sammie,
That’s good that you’re learning.. Check this one:
Stage 5 Clinger – Getting A Boyfriend Back If You Were Too Clingy
Dainah
November 22, 2017 at 2:37 pm
2 year relationship. We had a solid relationship. Lots of excitement. Lots of laughter. Loads of memorable moments. We were each other’s best friend. We lived together for a year. The break up happened 2 months ago because of an explosive argument, hurtful things were said by both parties. Which resulted in me breaking up with him by packing all my things in his apartment and leaving him without telling him.
Post breakup… Completed 30 days no contact. Focusesd on my fitness goals, focusing on becoming a better version of myself. Took up new hobbies. Gone on a few dates. Been posting actively on social media. Been aggressively working on my anger issues and communication skills. Reached out to my ex and tried to build rapport. Got rejected by him. Waited 2 weeks before contacting him again and now he seems more receptive via text and responses vary from nuetral to mostly positive, but I can tell his guard is still way up! I want him back but How long before I should move on?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 24, 2017 at 4:01 am
Hi Dainah,
You’re just starting to build rapport.. after two months if there’s no progress, move on.
Dainah
November 22, 2017 at 1:14 pm
Hi Ashley, I broke up with my ex boyfriend 2 months ago (we had a massive agrgument and I moved out of his apartment while he was at work and took ALL my things and never told him I was leaving or moving out). There was no cheating. Our communication was just messed up. I Successfully completed no contact. I initiated contact and tried to build rapport via text. He answers immediately and his responses varies from nuetral to positive. Once I felt that it was time to move to the next step, I called him. We spoke amicably and he told me that it will take him a very very long time till he starts dating again and then BOOM he starts blaming me for the breakup and saying things like, “this breakup was what you wanted”, “this is the choices you made and now you have to live with it”. He brought up the fact that I now have a new activity that we were supposed to do together but I’m now doing it with some one else (a very close male friend)… He was so jealous! He turned down my offer to hang out over coffee and said that he isn’t ready to see me yet and he doesn’t want to see me and that seeing me is not helping him. He also said I shouldn’t text him and that reminding him of the positive memories we had confuses him because he doesn’t know why I’m bringing it up. I politely said I respected him and I respected his decision. Then 4 days after that phone call he texts me at 6am with a random question about a document he is looking for and asked if I know where it is. I responded by saying that I have it and it got mixed up in my documents. I asked if he needed it urgently and he repsponded and said no, he was just wondering where it was and he will pick it up when he visits him parents (who live 5 minutes from my house). After the last correspondence I waited 2 more weeks before I texted to build rapport and he seems more receptive. he even said he is proud of me for losing weight and making positive changes. I told him that I am thankful to be able to know him and his response was “same here, we live and we learn”. I want him back but I don’t know if I should continue or just move on. Am I wasting my time?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 24, 2017 at 4:01 am
Hi Dainah,
You’re just starting to build rapport.. after two months if there’s no progress, move on.
Jenkins
November 22, 2017 at 9:26 am
We were in a long distance relationship. We had our ups and downs but it was pretty good. Then he stopped giving me time and u became anxious. I cried a lot. He’d sooth me by talking to me but then not give me time again and talk to me about 10 min a day. Then i got angry and he accused me of not giving him space when he hung up on me without warning when his friends came and didn’t call back hours after.
I know he loves me a lot. He’s done a lot for me. He has flirted with one girl on instagram.. a friend of his sis while we were fighting once.
I broke up with him cause he wasn’t giving me time and i didn’t think it would work considering the time i Needed with him suffocated him.
But now i miss him. If i call him he answers and even cries. Sometimes even says let’s get back together but then i remember how he didn’t give me time and i say no.
What do i do now
I want him to become the old bf i had. The one who doted on me. I don’t wanna let him go. I know he’s the one. Should i do no contact? If i do he doesn’t contact me at all and it scares me that he’ll move on 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 24, 2017 at 3:45 am
Hi Jenkins,
Have you said that to him? If yes, what did he say?
K.
November 21, 2017 at 10:49 pm
Hello!
This article is something I really needed. I posted a message on some other article last week and received a useful feedback, but I think getting some more insight, especially in the case of me being the one to initiate breakup, will be even better.
So…
1. We broke up almost a month ago after three beautiful years filled with mutual love and understanding. The relationship between us was truly fabulous until the holidays before our last year of the uni – previously, he was caring, devoted, and quite romantic, showering me with compliments, gifts, etc. (I did the same for him). In other words, we seemed to be a perfect match. Then, he realized that living with his parents and taking care of his little brother offered him much more benefits than taking responsibility for his life and becoming independent. I could tell that he didn’t really know what he wanted after all aside from avoiding adult life, and he became really confused about our relationship. Although I didn’t force him to make any serious decisions at that point, I did express my dissatisfaction with how immature he was (he had a choice of getting a job or babysitting his brother for some pocket money from his parents… he chose the latter).
2. Our breakup was rather intense… I actually regret that I broke up with him in such negative circumstances, but I couldn’t stand being taken for granted anymore (he honestly paid 100% of his attention to the chores he had to do at home, didn’t bother to call me or send me any message, I had to initiate EVERYTHING at that point and still felt unwanted).
3. I’ve been doing everything to become the UG – working out, looking perfect, finding new friends, engaging in new hobbies. I think it shows, because a lot of people have been telling me I look fantastic, satisfied with life, and healthy. Also, I keep working on improving those traits of mine that might’ve affected our relationship.
Now, I do regret breaking up with him to some extent… While I am fully aware that I don’t need him to be happy (the NC period really served me well and I realized many things about myself), we definitely had a very deep connection and before we became a couple, we formed an incredibly strong friendship. Therefore, he will always be welcome in my life and I actually hope he will realize that he’s not Peter Pan and growing up is unavoidable (he actually never had problems with adulthood until it dawned on him that it equals more responsibilities that taking care of his younger brother and doing favors for his parents) even for his own sake…
That’s all. Thank you, EBR Team, for providing people with valuable help and tremendous support – I can’t even express how grateful I am for all the advice that enabled me to survive the breakup and become a much better version of myself!
K.
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 24, 2017 at 3:14 am
Hi k,
I’m not sure what you’re inquiring about..correct me if I’m wrong. Are we you asking if he will change? How to get him back if you’re the one who broke up? If its the latter,after nc period slowly rebuild rapport..but othat doesn’t mean he will change because of nc