By Chris Seiter

Updated on February 24th, 2021

In this post I’m going to show you four of the most effective ways to make your Ex realize exactly what he lost.

In fact, these are the exact techniques that many of my personal coaching clients have used to get their Exes back.

Here’s a quick list.

  1. Implement A No Contact Rule
  2. Utilize The Zeigarnik Effect
  3. The Ideal Road Not Taken Study
  4. My Commitment Theory

Let’s get down to business.

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Tip #1: Implement A No Contact Rule

Ah, good ole faithful.

It seems now-a-days everywhere you turn everyone is recommending the No Contact Rule after a Breakup.

Well, I’m no different than anyone else in that regard unfortunately.

Where I am different though is that I just don’t blindly recommend it to people because “it’s the cool new thing.”

I’ve seen it work for hundreds of situations if it’s performed correctly.

If you didn’t already know;

The No Contact Rule: Is a set time period where you ignore your Ex no matter what. Well, except for these alterations.

In other words, if your Ex reaches out to you it is your prerogative to ignore him.

The thinking here is that if you do that it will accomplish two things.

  1. Make your Ex miss you
  2. Give you time to reset after your Breakup

Most people focus on the “making the Ex miss you” part and completely forget about the personal reset part and it’s been my experience that, that is the true value of the No Contact Rule.

People who tend to focus more on themselves as opposed to their Ex tend to be more successful.

Of course, that’s not the “sexy” thing to talk about. So, let me give you the stats.

Of my clients who have successfully won their Ex back, 98% have utilized a No Contact Rule in some way, shape or form.

Of the people who have purchased my best selling book , 90% have utilized some form of No Contact.

Finally, of the people visiting this website that got their Exes back, 72% have admitted to using a No Contact Rule.

To say that the No Contact Rule is an important tactic for making your Ex realize what he lost would be a vast understatement.

Tip #2: Utilize The Zeigarnik Effect

What if I were to tell you that someone may have discovered the secret to making someone “miss you” over 92 years ago.

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Sounds too good to be true, huh?

Well, in 1927 a Lithuanian psychologist named Bluma Zeigarnik made a pretty amazing discovery about interruption memory.

While studying at the University of Berlin Zeigarnik took note when one of her professors made the off hand comment that servers at a local restaurant seemed to remember unpaid tabs better than paid ones.

This seemed to imply that people remember uncompleted tasks better than completed ones.

SOURCE LINK

I remember pretty well when I heard about this concept. It was kind of like a light bulb went off in my head and I started brainstorming all the applications it could have in the dating scene.

It can inform many of the strategic decisions you make regarding;

Here’s the gist of how I incorporate it into the Ex Recovery strategies.

Each one of the mediums above is nothing more than a way to have a conversation with someone else.

The Zeigarnik Effect is another way of structuring your conversations in each of these mediums.

The biggest mistake that I see most people make when having a conversation with their Ex is that the conversation isn’t memorable.

It’s very easy for an Ex to “just be nice” and have a conversation with you and then move on with their day.

Most of the clients that I work with want to be remembered. They want their Exes to obsess about them after interacting and the only effective way that I’ve seen work is by structuring your conversation so that it is incomplete.

Sounds weird, right?

Think of it like this.

Imagine that the quality of your conversation with your Ex could be charted into a graph.

The highs of the graph represent satisfaction and the lows represent dissatisfaction.

What tends to happen if you let a conversation with your linger for too long?

It grows stale.

What happens if a conversation doesn’t last very long?

It never gets the chance to become satisfying.

You have two goals when trying to structure your conversations with the Zeigarnik effect.

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1. Find a way to make the conversation satisfying by getting your Ex to engage.
2. End the conversation right before it’s most engaging point.

I often call refer to this as “ending the conversation at the high point.”

In graph format it looks something like this.

Now, you probably have a lot of follow up questions regarding this advanced method but I’m going to refer you to my book to answer those because I think I’ve already spent too much time talking about this.

Let’s move on.

Tip #3: The Ideal “Road Not Taken” Study

Making your Ex realize what he lost is really about regret more than anything else.

The thinking here is that if you can make your Ex regret his decision to break up with you.

If you can make him think of a potential future with you that he missed out on he is going to take positive action in making that future a reality.

Last year three Cornell psychologists surveyed hundreds of individuals and learned some interesting things about the way human beings deal with regret.

They identified three elements that make up a person’s sense of “self.”

  1. The Actual Self – Consists of qualities that you personally believe that you have
  2. The Ideal Self – Consists of qualities that you want to have
  3. The Ought Self – Is the person you feel that you ought to have been

So, the three Cornell psychologists started asking participants in the survey about their biggest regrets in life and 76 percent of people gave a single answer.

They feel as if they hadn’t fulfilled their ideal self.

I find this study fascinating because really what it highlights is how people feel regret about things that they want to have but haven’t achieved yet.

Many let their ambitions or dreams fall by the wayside because they are scared to take a chance or simply don’t have time.

This perfectly encapsulates your current predicament.

You and your Ex are broken up.

You want him to regret his decision but you think he doesn’t.

Turns out the key to making him regret it is to do something to show him something you know he wants but can’t have.

Maybe when you were together he mentioned that he’d really love to go to New York City as he has never been.

Well, maybe after the Breakup you road trip with a bunch of your friends to the big apple and document the experience on social media for the world to see.

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You will be actively showing your Ex what he is missing out on by hitting on his “ideal self.”

The other big thing I took from the study was the importance of time. If you want to make him realize what he lost it’s not going to happen overnight.

When people talked about their biggest regrets I got the sense that those regrets didn’t happen yesterday, they happened over many years.

It’s the deathbed argument.

People experience great regret on their deathbed because they are confronted with the truth that they are out of time to experience and the things they missed out on.

In many cases it is very possible to create the regret you so desperately want your Ex to feel.

But it’s maybe not possible right this second.

It will take time.

The only thing you can really do is ratchet up the tension by making your Ex feel he is out of time to have these special experience with you.

And you typically do that by having these experience with someone else.

Tip #4: My Personal Commitment Theory

There is more than one way to skin a cat.

Perhaps that statement has never been more true than in this circumstance.

Tip #3 was all about combining time with regret. Showing an ex the experiences they are missing out on with you.

This tip works actively against that as it takes a more direct approach to making an Ex realize what they lost.

I have a theory behind commitment.

More importantly, what makes people want to commit to each other in relationships and how to make them actually do it.

There are six main factors to keep in mind here.

  1. Satisfaction
  2. Alternatives
  3. Investment
  4. Scarcity
  5. Urgency
  6. Fear of Loss

My theory has always been that if you can stoke the fire in each of these factors you will have success in gaining commitments from anyone.

Let’s take a minute and dissect what I mean by each of these things.

1. Satisfaction

This simply refers to how satisfied your partner is regarding their experience with you.

Now, experience is a broad term so let me distill it down a bit more for you.

When I refer to experience I’m really talking about things like your interactions, conversations and memory.

If your Ex is enjoying himself in your company more often than not then that means he is probably satisfied with you.

2. Alternatives

In a word, this is nothing more than the grass is greener syndrome.

Can your Ex find someone better than you?

If the answer to that question is yes then they might not stick around very long.

Though ironically sometimes they can’t answer this question unless they date someone else so they can compare the experience of dating you to the other person.

I can’t tell you how often I’ll hear from people who move on to someone new only to regret their decision and want to go back.

3. Investment

Most people think of investment in monetary terms but there is also another commodity to keep track of and that is time.

How much time and emotional energy has your Ex invested into your relationship.

The more, the better.

4. Scarcity

This also kind of ties into the alternatives side of things. If your Ex is thinking you are one of a kind it’s a very good thing.

Throughout our history what is one of the most effective sales promotions.

ONLY 12 LEFT!

By showing that there isn’t much of a particular thing available it inherently raises the value of that thing.

5. Urgency

There needs to be an urgent reason that your Ex will commit to you.

Without that reason you typically wont see success in getting commitments.

Urgency creates tension and that tension is good because it makes us want it to end.

6. Fear of Loss

And here is where we really get down to brass tacks.

Fear of loss is the dark twin of alternatives. Where your Ex thinks about if he can do better than you with alternatives here is where he becomes terrified of losing you.

Usually fear of loss is accompanied by someone else showing interest in you and your Ex growing jealous of that fact.

Putting It All Together

So, now that you understand these six factors behind commitment what are you supposed to do with it?

Well, honestly you try to create as much of it as possible with your Ex.

Weave the ideas into the very fabric of your strategy and you should start to see some success with making him realize what he lost in you.

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46 thoughts on “How To Make Him Realize What He Lost”

  1. annmarie

    January 9, 2022 at 7:28 pm

    hi me and my ex have a 5 year old he comes and go but he have been with two people but as soon as i try and move on he gets the right hump and goes in to one i do love him but i dont want the one side part of it ive tried to work it out but i get pushed away by him he will put mates befor me all the time we was one the phone as soon as his mate come he put the phone down on me but when i call him out he says it was me i dont know want to do anymore please help me

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 10, 2022 at 4:45 pm

      Hi Annmaire, it sounds as if you just need to show your ex you are done with him and move on. You need to limit your contact to just about your child otherwise ignore him. Go on dates and spend time with other guys – if he gets in a mood… who cares!! He has been with other women so you can live your life too. You may love him, but he isn’t showing you love or respect by the sounds of things. I would suggest that you complete your limited NC for 30 days, during this time you should only speak to him about your child IF AND WHEN he needs to know anything. I would spend as little time with him as possible during that time too. If he comes to see the child, leave them to it, go and see your friends look good and leave him worried about where you are going.

  2. Jessie

    September 15, 2021 at 2:27 am

    Hi, my ex left me 10 months ago for another woman. We were together for 15 years and have children. Although things weren’t the best between us at times, I did love him and I still do love him. I know I am better off without him but I can’t help the way I feel about him. He is the love of my life and my soulmate. I have tried dating but am just not over my ex. I want him to realise what he has lost but tbh after the cheating, even if he did want me back I am not sure whether I could ever forgive & forget that. I love him so much and am finding life so hard without him.
    I am trying the no contact but it is difficult with us having children. How else can I make him realise what he has lost & how can I fall out of love with him?
    Thanks

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 23, 2021 at 5:42 pm

      Hey Jessie, check out this real life story about getting an ex back when you share children… https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-get-your-ex-back-when-you-have-a-child-with-them/

  3. Anna

    January 5, 2021 at 7:53 am

    Thanks chris and team.

    After using no contact , I actually now don’t want him back at all.

    Creating the time with yourself is such a lesson.

    Thankyou ✨

  4. Muskan

    December 12, 2020 at 11:02 am

    Hi i m muskan. I just had a break up. I was in a very happy relationship of 4 years and suddenly I don’t know what happened to him. He met with his old crush of school time 1 months back after that I have started noticing changes in him. I told him to tell her about our relationship but he was not ready to do so. So I told all the truth to her. After that he became very fuirious and he broke up with me it’s been 10 days and he is not coming back. He is not bothered with our breakup but he is bothered from his broken friendship with his old crush. But I want him back. Pls tell me what should I do. I have sent so many memories of us but it is not making any affect on him. Infact he is getting more irritated of me. Pls tell me what should I do.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 12, 2020 at 8:39 pm

      Hi Muskan you need to go into a no contact for at least 30 days maybe 45 if you think there is a relationship with this old crush of his. You need to understand what you did crossed a line where you were appearing to be insecure about your relationship with him. He was only speaking to an old friend at this point and you tried to push that away by telling her about you and him. I would say that he is more angry that you didn’t let him tell her in his own way at the moment. Follow NC rules for 30 days and work on yourself. Allowing him time to calm down.

  5. Kim

    August 31, 2020 at 10:47 pm

    My ex contacted me after 7 months apart. In that span, He dated someone much younger for a short time. We reconnected and talked, a lot. I was purely honest about everything… How I felt, how I feel now, and laid clear boundaries. So, the following week we were supposed to meet again, and he stands me up.
    The next morning, I texted a very short message… “You stood me up… Leave me alone.” He read it immediately, but, did not respond. I’m hoping that he understands that he broke a boundary that I set and thinks about it. This is me trying to make him see that I value myself, my time, and my boundaries. That I am important to me and I should be just as important to him… As important as he is to me.
    Did I make a mistake?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 16, 2020 at 8:06 pm

      Hi Kim, so you did not make the mistake about setting the boundary, however if he did not reach out to you after the meet up, you could have just not reached out to him so that he would think that you were not even bothered about the meet up to get angry about it! But yes, your boundaries are clear and you must stick with them so good for you sticking up for yourself!

  6. Lyra

    September 1, 2019 at 5:13 pm

    My ex boyfriend depended on me to do everything for him. It got to the point where I felt more like a personal assistant than a person. He also started cheating on me. Trying to have me helping him through life while he has sex with her. Then fast forward two days ago I found out I am pregnant. I told him and I also told him I was not keeping it. He went into full panic mode and lashed out at me for being careless for letting this happen. He then broke up with me and said he just wanted to be friends. He then said during our year together we were never in a relationship (just friends with benefits) even though he told his friends I was his girlfriend and referred to me that way. I told him I couldn’t be his friend. I wasn’t going to hang around to keep taking care of him while he went off to date other people. I wished him well. He did the same and that was it. Now I don’t know how I feel. I shouldn’t want him back but a small part does. A small part wants to know if I even mattered to him. Last time we broke up he pretended like he wanted it. Then, when I went along with it he got angry and aggressive about getting back together. When I texted him this morning to part ways he immediately read my message like he was hoping I’d agree to his terms. I need guidance. What are my chances he will come back or change?

  7. Paula

    August 29, 2019 at 10:30 pm

    Hi,
    My ex and I briefly dated and broke up. Since then, we’ve gone on and off again where we go at least a month without talking and then he comes back. Each time, he acts and talks to me as if though we were in a relationship without him actually ever calling it that. As soon as I bring it up, he pulls away and says he’s not ready, he’s trying to see where things are going, and that he just wants to be friends. It’s hard for me to believe that by the way he treats me. He’s always the one to take it a level above friends which always gives me hope just to have him pull away. I would say it’s happened at least 3 times. Each time, I impatiently bring up the topic of wanting to be in a relationship and he says he’s not sure because he doesn’t feel the spark anymore. Is there anything I can do to bring it back? We recently had a falling out. It was bad. We both said that we should just go out separate ways but I didn’t mean it and he said he didn’t want to not have me in his life yet we still haven’t talked since. I really hope you can help me. I want to get my ex back.

  8. Shar

    August 23, 2019 at 11:33 pm

    My husband and I lived together for 23 years. Since we moved to our hometown 10 years now, he walk out for months and goes amongst his relatives: father, siblings, and be unfaithful with many different people. Few month Before he leaves the home, he would be destructive which leads to fights (more so manipulative). Its a pattern for 10 years since I moved back to hometown. This was the cause why left our hometown for 13 years. Today, I choose to stay in my home after he left 23rd February of this year. I was advised by a friend not to chase, since that’s what I used to do. So I’m home, trying to bring the plan we both discussed (farming), but doing it on my own, and trying to work it forward.
    How do I get my husband to return home and stop this behavior?
    And advice for myself and well-being also.
    Urgently need guidance and help!! I do really enjoy reading this Ex Recovery article. Looking forward for a soon response.

  9. Mary

    August 18, 2019 at 8:11 pm

    I’d like to know if I stand a chance or if it’s time to give up. My bf broke up with me 4 months ago. Initially I was not into him at all and planned to break it of with him quite a few times in the dating face. It took him 7 months to win me over. We were together for just short of a year.
    During the last part of our relationship he went through some personal career related stuff. He grew distant & I grew needy.
    When he left I begged him to stay. 2 weeks later it would have been our one year anniversary & I gave him a letter.
    After that I did 30 days of no contact, but I may have fucked it up, I still followed all his insta stories & likes stuff? I also asked him to meet up to catch up right of the bat. Took a few weeks for it to happen, started at few light text conversation during this time. When we meet it was great, we talked & laughed. I initiated a few text messages a few time after that & another meet up about a month after the first meet up. He suggested a concert, I had hoped it was a date. Again, fun & easy, but unfortunately not a date!
    On his birthday, I decided to send him a sexy picture. He said he did not see this coming. That I looked really good, but he did not see us getting back together & he didn’t have the feelings I appeared to have. We could hang out as friends, but probably nothing more. Is it time for me to give it up or in your professional opinion, do I stand a chance?

  10. Roche`

    August 1, 2019 at 6:56 pm

    HI Chris. I’m in a bit of a situation where I started dating a friend about 2 months ago. Everything was going really great and then he just ended things. Out of shock I just said I understand and I tried to move on. I would say it was a good break up and we remained friends. We spoke today cause i felt I maybe just needed an explanation that’s better than “it’s me not you”. After today I realised the real reason is cause he felt we moved too fast, and he felt that we had certain “serious” conversations too soon. After those serious conversations he tried to get back to normal but he just couldn’t go back to how things were.
    Our conversation today went very well, and I also explained to him how I felt. I agree things went way faster than it should have, and I had alot of quilt in that too(I can be quite in the moment sometimes, I’m a hopeless romantic). He made it clear though that he isn’t feeling it anymore.
    We are rock climbing friends, and our whole friend group is quite tight, and we basically do everything together. So NC is honestly just not possible. We train together almost every day and usually go on climbing trips every other weekend.
    We are on good terms and there’s no akward vibes. But he seems to be completely done. He is a heavy thinker (sometimes overthinks everything), so when he puts his mind to something he sticks to it.
    Things are weird but also not. Feels like things are like how it was before we dated or even liked eachother. But in my heart I still can’t help but want more.
    It’s hard, because he seems pretty solid about being just friends. I can see he still cares about me and he’s being very respectful and sweet. I genuinely just think he just has zero romantic feelings anymore. Which is hard to gasp or even understand how it can go from the most romantic emotional open and honest relationship to just him not even looking at me the way he used to.
    How can I regain that feeling he had for me? Keep in mind NC is not possible in any way.

  11. Biba

    July 21, 2019 at 8:16 am

    We were talking for 2 months after the break up then NC for 30 days, but at the end of the NC I did something that he hates so for a result – he erased me from all his social media and he also has a new girl.
    How do I get out of this situation?

  12. mee

    July 8, 2019 at 5:40 pm

    hey Chris me and my bf were friends of 3yesrs then things become d/t and we start relationship ……everything was nice and passionate …..I gave him my virginity and everything was good …..we fight a lot of times because of I was scared of if he is looking other girls but he said he can’t live with out me ….his family’s know me …….then idk the real reason but I was scared of loosing him so…..I don’t wanna get hurt of it so I start giving more time for my friends only
    ……and he became change and he cheated on me/!!! our common friends tell me that but I was waiting for him to tell me but he keep talking with her and ignoring me ……..I heard that they start relation …..I was begged him to come back then he did but I heard rumors that he is still with her I told him and we break up…..but I can’t forget him so when he say sorry I accept his sorry …..I go for begging him again to come back we get back for the third time and he tell me that we can’t be like before everything was. limited ……we stayed for month and half…….one day he tells me he don’t want to be with me ..

    he become hot ant cold during the last relationship ……..I start no contact rule for three weeks but still he didn’t come back……what should I do???

  13. Jenny

    July 6, 2019 at 11:14 am

    Hi Chris,

    I was dating this guy and things were on the right track for exclusivity, however, right before we had a big date he told me his ex girlfriend of 8 years (they had been broken up for 1.5) approached him and asked if he wanted to get back together and that it really put him through a loop. I asked if he was planning on getting back with her and he said he doesn’t know he was very surprised. It’s been a week now and we are still talking everyday but he hasn’t told me if he’s made up his mind … please help! Or is 8 years of history too much to compete with? I don’t know why they broke up but I do know she lives hours away.

  14. Ali

    July 3, 2019 at 10:47 pm

    Hi Chris,
    So my ex and I broke up about 2 weeks ago.. on my birthday (rude I know). We’ve been together a little over 2 years, 8 months of that was long distance then I decided to move states to be with him & move in with him. I’m his first serious relationship so maybe that’s why I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt. Anyways, he’s been distant for some time now after he told me back in October that he needed some space since he was struggling with work & I did as best I could being as we live together & still tried to make him happy by Cooking for him, cleaning, etc. but we never got back to our old solid relationship & the intimacy took a dive. Fast forward to my bday we haven’t had sex in 3 months & it was really getting to me. We had a conversation about it a couple weeks prior & he basically said he didn’t know what the issue was but he felt that we were growing apart & that it wasn’t sitting well with him. We got into a fight on my bday because basically I didn’t feel valued to he broke up with me. Gave him a few days to cool down & we talked about it & he opted for a break instead of a breakup & that he didn’t want to us see other people. So I said ok then I will move out for a month to give you space, the next day when I told him I went to look at a place he flipped out on me! Screaming at me making me cry, he then came back & consoled me saying sorry that he had a rough day at work that I didnt deserve that. But The day comes where I leave and I let him know how I’m feeling that I love him but I feel as if he’s gotten lazy in the relationship & that I deserve better then that, that if I’m not what he wants to let me go so I can find love in another person if he doesn’t think that’s him. He hugged me goodbye & started crying & locked himself in the bathroom to cry for 30 mins, then just left without looking at me or saying goodbye. So now I’m confused. I was going to do the no contact rule & we didn’t speak that night, but the next day I went back to our apt while he was supposed to be at work to print something out & he came home. But he was nice to me since the printer wasn’t working, tried to fix it for me but couldn’t so said he would work on it for me . But now I feel like if I do NC now it’s really rude since he is trying to help me. He thought that me moving out was such a bad idea, I’m just trying to figure out a way to make this break beneficial for us.

  15. Jenny

    July 3, 2019 at 7:46 pm

    Hi Chris I was wondering if you could help me out with my ex. I read a lot of stories of other couple but I don’t want to get my hopes up only to be crushed. So me and my ex have been dating for 6 months. We recently broke up for about two weeks because I had some personal problems and broke up with him on impulse. However, when I fixed my problem I begged him for a second chance saying I changed for the better. He told me he doesn’t think it will work because I’m not ready and he doesn’t feel healthy as well. I used to text and call him every other day telling how sorry I am and I regret everything. He just told me I had to move on. I haven’t talked to him for about 3 days now. But I’m scared within the NC days he’s having all the fun in the world and will meet another girl. I really don’t want to lose him but I don’t know what to do. We agreed to be friends and I see him on campus. We have small talk but it’s nothing big. I am honestly starting to give up but at the same time my head won’t let me. I really don’t know what to do.

  16. Lynn

    July 2, 2019 at 9:44 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me in December and ghosted me since.
    We had a very complicated relationship. Loved each other like crazy even up to the last day! So passionate. Both separated but work with my ex. Both have kids. He feels resonsible for the hurt that his kids are feeling. We spoke briefly in April, where he told me he can’t be with me and that he is working hardto fix what he did to his boys and won’t jeopardize that for anything. He then said he doesn’t think it is healthy for him to be talking to me. Now back to ghosting.
    Lost cause?

  17. Maya

    July 1, 2019 at 10:36 pm

    Hi Chris, I’m at two weeks of no contact after a five-month relationship ended. The problem that I’m worried about is that after we broke up (he said I that I deserved better and he can’t give me what I want) I told him that I loved him for the first time. I felt that I had to say my truth even though the relationship was ending. He said he didn’t know if he could love anyone right now. Is there any chance of this relationship coming back together now that he knows I love him and he hasn’t gotten there?

    1. Chris Seiter

      July 2, 2019 at 3:09 am

      Hi Maya….just keep going forward with your NC and doing the things I teach in my comprehensive Program – “EBR PRO Bundle”.

  18. Ciara

    June 28, 2019 at 2:09 pm

    Hi Chris,
    Firstly – excellent work. Your advice is sound and helped me so much and so many times. I recommended you to a few of my friends overseas too and we are all big fans of EBR.

    Not sure if this is the right page to be posting this but…my boyfriend and I have had a complicated 2 years. We’re quite young, but when we started dating he was this perfect guy who completed me in ways I never realised. I took it for granted, acted like a jerk. Took a break from him because I was confused between someone else. Nothing ever happened with the other guy though and I was back with my current a couple days after.

    But after that, when we were together. We talked through everything, he said he genuinely forgave me and I believe that. But it was a catalyst because 10 months on, now he is a completely different person. He never ever makes an effort, never even organises to see me. Openly tells me he doesn’t want to talk much, he doesn’t care about my day, he doesn’t care about what I do because its always problems. Gets so angry at me so easily because I get anxious and try and talk through things but to him he is just seeing this as “problems” “drama” or “stress.”
    I chase him so much, I have thrown every shred of dignity out the window. He doesn’t even make any effort in bed. I initiate sex and he goes along with it. Never pays for anything. Always blames me and says “oh i would have done something if you just didn’t throw a big fit about it.”

    Is this fixable? Can he ever go back to who he used to be or become better? Can no contact or ungettable anything work? or am I just living in the past. Please tell me honestly.

    1. Chris Seiter

      June 28, 2019 at 7:45 pm

      Hi Ciara….Thanks for your kind words. Unfortunately some guys don’t understand that when you want to talk about things, you just mostly want him to listen and understand and be supportive…not necessarily solve everything. Some guys are solution oriented. I do think NC would be the right medicine here. Take a good look at my Program – EBR Pro Bundle as it takes a comprehensive view of all of this.

  19. biba

    June 26, 2019 at 9:56 pm

    Hey Chris,
    what if he started reaching out more and showed that he misses me and I scared him off again cause it felt so good and like before. And now he stopped reaching out. And I’m now doing NC since 10 days ago. Is it still possible now?

    1. Chris Seiter

      June 26, 2019 at 11:19 pm

      Hi Biba…yes, No Contact is often the right medicine. But there are many elements to this process, so give EBR Pro Bundle a look as I created it to help people with the entire breakup process.

  20. Lisa

    June 26, 2019 at 7:33 pm

    We’ve been talking and sometimes it went great, sometimes i felt like he didn’t really want to talk. Eventually there was an opening and he was almost asking for it, so i took the chance to say: “well, if you want some company, we can meet up tomorrow?” He liked it and we agreed to hang out. (The meet-up is now a little more than 2 weeks ago).

    We talked about stuff, watched a movie etc. Than he kissed me. When it was time to go home he dropped me off at the trainstation and we sat in the car and he said: “We still have 2 minutes before your train comes” and he wanted to keep talking. When i got out of the car he said to text him when i got home. So i did. We talked a little, then went to sleep.

    After that i didn’t hear from him all week. So i texted him that weekend to know if he had fun plans for the weekend and how he was doing. He answered and initiated a conversation later that day. After that he never contacted me again. I take it as a rejection and haven’t contacted him since, but what the hell? I don’t get it..

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