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Sasha
January 30, 2018 at 11:01 pm
My ex and I parted after 22 years. It all happened so quick it really took me by surprise,when I agreed to splitting up. No arguments, no shouting, it was like a dream. A bit surreal really. I’m not sure what I thought,but when I found out he’d moved on after 2 weeks I knew he’d been cheating. That was enough for me,to realise this man wasn’t worth it,or trying to figure out, if we had a future with work,talking, and being honest. I went NC immediately and only discuss anything concerning our child of 12 . And then I grew a pair of balls….I went back to work, lost the stone I’d been trying to loose for ever ( haha), took time pampering myself. And learned to like me who I’d lost along the way. It’s been nearly a year,and I go from strength to strength. I removed every last part of him from the house ,re defined our space,took a trip away with my child,and I’m socialising more than I ever did. And he hates it. He on the other hand looks miserable, has put weight on, is drinking far too much and is living with the woman he cheated with. It’s too funny for words. Before Christmas he told me he always loved me and always will, wants to come home,blah,blah,blah,the usual ….it made me realise in that moment that I didn’t need or want him back. He turns up when our child is out with friends for silly reasons. Only last week he met with my adult son ( previous relationship) and cried to him, saying he’d made a mess of things, and missed us. I don’t want him to be unhappy, but I can’t help feeling he got what he deserved. I remember vividly saying to him in the early days after finding out about his affair, ” you made your bed, make sure you enjoy lying it”…after rubbing our child’s nose in this relationship,he’s realised that kids have their own ideas, you can’t lie to them, pressure them to go along with your ideas…our child has had to grow up fast, which has made me very sad. However, I’m so proud that our child has dealt with it in a remarkable way. I continue to love, nurture, answer honestly and be there for this child whose life was torn apart. The lies I’ve had to endure by a man who I’d respected has dissapointed me nonend. But what I’ve come to realise is, he has to live with the shit he creates. Our lives are for the most part filled with harmony, laughter and love. Yes at times it’s hard,but I’m living proof,that NC is the way to go ,even when your heart is breaking. I miss my best friend,I miss asking his opinion….I don’t miss the person stood before me now. A liar, cheat,,who now wants his old life back. Tough , your too late…haha
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 31, 2018 at 5:48 pm
That’s good Sasha! Thanks for sharing this and letting other girls read it and realize that someone in your situation did what they should do.
Katy
January 27, 2018 at 7:30 pm
I agree with everything in this post except the bit about trashing every single reminder of him. I think this is a bit extreme.. Personally, I can’t bring myself to throw photos or letters away (any photos or letters, not just romantic ones- I’ve always been this way!) And I’m sure others on here can relate to this feeling. I’ve found that an excellent compromise is to put all photos, letters, presents, or anything that reminds you too much of him into a box and leave it with a trusted friend for a while, or if that’s not possible, at least store it far away in the back of the garage and do not retrieve it until you are completely, 100% over the relationship. I’ve done this in the past and I’m so glad I did! Now I can look back on those photos and letters and they remind me of a happy time in my life, but there is no pain or regret attached to them anymore. I would be sad if I had thrown them away all those years ago in the heat of the moment. (Obviously this only applies to the good, non-abusive relationships) That’s just my 10c worth, anyway.. Otherwise, excellent post! 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 30, 2018 at 11:46 pm
Hi Katy,
Hmm.. I agree with that.. I honestly wish I had some of the things or photos that I had with my ex for my memory box but I’m totally over him..
Ashley
January 17, 2018 at 5:40 pm
Ex and I were together for about 4.5 years. What does it mean when we went mutually went “on a break” where I wasn’t respectful to the space by texting and begging to not be on a break to finally him “breaking up” with me since the break didn’t work–but we continued to text and even hang out. We went on the break in Sept. and in Dec. I asked him to promise me to let me know when I should stop hoping we get to back together and his response was “If and when I promise to let you know” then I come to find he created a profile on a dating app and was talking to girls (not sure how many, how often or how intensely) in Oct. until now, even while I was at his apartment over the weekend.
I am already aware that I sucked at the break and break-up, I haven’t done NC and I did all the wrong things these past 4 months–and now I am ready to just give up and move on even though I think he is “the one”–but I am just curious what someone thinks about
how/why he wouldn’t tell me to move on and let go if he was talking to other girls on a dating app. calling them the pet names he called me and making possible plans with them while I was sitting in the next room. I am heart-broken that he would let me think there was a chance for 4 months
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 19, 2018 at 3:33 pm
Hi Ashley,
Sometimes when a guy breaks up with you, they just don’t want say it straight because of feeling guilty about it, they know it would hurt more..
Deepika Raghav
January 5, 2018 at 5:03 am
just tell me what should i do after my 8 year relationship and i still love mt ex but now we are not dating with each other he is committed or not i don’t know but i have doubt.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 5, 2018 at 11:05 pm
Hi Deepika,
check this links:
First Loves And How To Get Over Them…
How To Get Over An Ex Boyfriend When You’re Still In Love With Him
Deepika Raghav
January 4, 2018 at 10:28 am
just wanna know about my fucking relationship, actually i’m having a 7 year relationship with my first and last boyfriend and now my age is 21 i know having 7 year its too soon for me but yes its happened, now we finished that relationship and after cutted the call he moved on easily but still i can’t, in a day i have decided to no more contact to him but at night i called him again n again and he’s still cutting that, so this process is too long now, he’s still not talking to me, i really hate his bullshit behavior and really wanna forget that fucking time, kindly tell me that i should do now…… should i need to say sorry to him as usual or make him my god again in his eyes or i should slap on his fucking face that i really don’t care about him, i have to move on right means what should i have to date someone again………….? whats the meaning of move on just tell me how can i move on myself.
Rkv
January 3, 2018 at 3:22 am
Hi there.
I recently ended a relationship with someone who has severe omotional issues…or so it seems that’s a huge concern of his. Fear of commitment, real confusion with what Love should feel like and he would know that he’s met the one. We had a great relationship in general. Never taught, communicated well (or so I thought) and always had a blast with each other. At the same time, he emotionally cheated on me with someone from his past life overseas (they never had an actual relationship and only met a few times, but kept in contact for 3 years since he moved.) We were together for 2.5 years. I had discovered this shortly before our 2 year anniversary and thought my confrontation had cleared up the problem, but I discovered a few days after my birthday this year that it didn’t clear up the problem. I’m struggling with a lot of things.
1) Because he does suffer from a bit of clinical depression and I’m the only one he’s talked to about with without dismissing it, I’m the only one he really feels confortable with talking to about it. I hate the idea of letting him try to struggle through this on his own.
2) Even though I’m trying to help him and still be there for him, he still can’t disconnect himself from her. 95% of their conversations are purely friendly. But the 5% That is romantic is significant because thy say very deep things despite it only being a text oriented relationship and they’ve never spent real time together. The other person is also in a relationship of her own.
3) I’m struggling to not think about him and her every single day. I’m obsessive and on a vacation from work, leaving me with lots of time to think.
4) We lived together and before we moved in I got rid of a lot of household things. I can’t eally afford to completely buy everything I need for my own apartment so he gave me much of his stuff because he knew he was going to buy new ones. So I’ll have a lot of stuff from him – pots, pans, dishes, and gifts that are also household items. I can’t completely detox.
5) I do want to be friends with him and be there for him. I realize I need to quit contact for at least 3 months. But he is moving out of state and across the country in 3 months (I was going to move up there with him after I finished my graduate studies.) I’m afraid that no contact will harm our chances at a true friendship later on.
Any advice?
Thank you,
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 5, 2018 at 7:03 pm
HI Rkv,
do you live together now?
Jordann Howard
January 1, 2018 at 3:45 am
Hey, it is New Years day and my EX broke up with me around October. When this happened I cut and dyed my hair, I got a new phone, I brleive I cut off all the ties and well contact was a problem given I see him at school all the bloody time and I wishes everyone in my contacts a happy holidays. He wanted to be feeinfs, but ignored me. I stil l have feeling for him and I don’t know why. I feel like I have moved on till I see him then I lose all of it and can5 help but smile and LOVE him. See my problem. Big I know, can you help me?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 2, 2018 at 6:36 pm
Hi Jordan,
Check this one:
’m In Love With My Ex Boyfriend
Tiffany Delgado
December 23, 2017 at 6:58 am
Hello!
I started dating this guy and everything was so amazing we would spend everyday and night together for weeks until his lease was up and he asked if he could stay at my place for a couple of days.. a couple of days turned into 2 months. His ex would call on blocked numbers everyday but he told me not to worry she was crazy. He ended up cheating on me with her.. I was miserable I couldn’t eat or sleep we ended up getting back together immediately and then 2 weeks back together I ran into his ex and saw he was still communicating with her… when I confronted him he said i was childish and he dosent have time for high school drama. I told him to get his stuff out of my house but I couldn’t stop crying he said he wanted to work things out with me again but I needed to give him some space.. I left to visit my parents and I didn’t come back for the last 2 months… I just got back to my house and his car is still at my place but he will barely text me back. I’ve made progress moving on from him but I feel myself in withdrawal and I just want him back.. I miss spending everyday with someone.. he told me the pressures of a relationship were too much for him that I require too much attention I feel like he resents me now.. he called me a week ago super happy saying how good it was to hear my voice but now nothing… writing this makes him seem like he treated me horrible but the good times were beyond amazing it’s just the lows were really bad mostly from his doing. How do I get him back? Is he leaving the car for a way to come back in my life? The last two months I’ve been gone he’s also been gone traveling for work.. he’s currently not in town.. so when I text him about his car he dosent really respond since he hasn’t been here to move it or see me.. he has two cars so I feel like the one at my place he dosent even really care about.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 26, 2017 at 5:30 pm
Hi Tiffany,
Check this one:
EBR 056: My Ex Boyfriend Cheated On Me Multiple Times… What Do I Do?
Rose
December 7, 2017 at 3:36 am
Hi,
I had a rough on and off relationship with this guy and it just ended really badly… again. This time, I’m just tired of the pain and drama and really want to move on for good. We blocked each other everywhere but I still have his favourite shirt, and I really don’t want to throw it out because I think it’ll be the wrong thing to do. I’m considering mailing it to him but it ended so badly and I don’t want to start more trouble. Is it worth it? Should I bother? Thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 11, 2017 at 6:33 am
Hi Rose,
Nope, no need to give it back to him
Heartbroken
November 13, 2017 at 12:20 pm
Hello,
My ex boyfriend broke up with me 3 and a half months ago, we were really close and he told me that he couldn’t be in a relationship right now and that he no longer wanted to continue making me unhappy. He said he has depression and cannot even make himself happy. I put a lot of pressure and nagged him a lot in the relationship because I could tell after a while that he was not ready for something serious (we got together as he was breaking up with his ex gf). I became jealous and needy and cried a lot before and after the break up. I followed your advice after a few weeks and started no contact. I then got back in touch with him and he was responding but in a very cold and distant manner, I felt at times that I was making progress but eventually my emotions got the better of me and I ended up messing it up. I tried to get him to meet up and talk to me so I could try to get closure instead but he really seems like he does not care and keeps making excuses. The problem is we work in the same office and I have to see him everyday. He has been really overly happy laughing and joking really loudly and kept telling me he was busy or asleep when he started to not reply to me. I have been really struggling to move on and then out of the blue his best friend contacted me. He said he just wanted to see how I was doing as he was with my ex and they were discussing things and his best friend asked after me to my ex. I asked him why he contacted me and he said he just wondered how I was doing and said it was a shame we didn’t get to hang out as my ex broke up with me 2 weeks after we all went away for the weekend to an event with all my exes friends and family and that was the last time I saw them all. I asked him for some advice about my ex because he wouldnt talk to me and I wanted an honest answer. His friend told me that he believes my ex has moved on and is sorry to tell me but it is better to be honest than to give false hope. I am deeply upset by this as I feel that my ex could have bothered to communicate it himself as he never said he didn’t want to be with me when I asked after we broke up, he said he didn’t know what he wanted and who knows about the future, but instead I had to hear it from his best friend. His friend asked me not to tell my ex about our conversation as he said his ex would think it was weird that he contacted me. We had a bit of a heart to heart and I admitted I was struggling to move on. I feel like I have the closure I wanted as I have been told by someone close to my ex that he is no longer interested and my ex will not speak to me about it. I really want to move on with my life now because I am devastated and I no longer want to continue to feel so heartbroken. I dont want to try to get him back anymore because I am far too emotional to follow through with the advice you give and I care too much, so I think the best choice for me now is to get over him. I really have tried so hard but nothing is working. I have to see him everyday and it is so painful, we were really close I and I genuinely believed that he wanted to be with me. I feel really hurt and confused, it felt like he switched his feelings off for me one day as a week before the breakup we were spending time together like normal and everything was fine. Since he broke up with me he has been very cold consistently, it is simply like a switch has gone off and he treats me like nothing ever happened between us like we are strangers except for being polite around the office.
I have decided to go no contact indefinitely but I am still struggling everytime I hear him speak or laugh or have to see him. I want nothing more for him to come back to me and I feel that this hope in my heart is preventing me from letting him go but I cannot stop myself missing him.
Please give me some advice on what more I can do to move on? I have been seeing my friends and family, going out, I have even tried dating, I have taken care of my appearance and taken up new hobbies, I have taken my ex and his friends/family off my social media and blocked myself from communication with him. Nothing is helping and I do not want to feel like this anymore, I miss him all the time and think about him constantly because we did so much together and were really close for 7 months.
🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 17, 2017 at 7:53 pm
don’t rush.. moving on means doing the things that help you grow and move on in life even while you’re still hurting.
Denise
October 30, 2017 at 1:00 pm
Hey ex boyfriend recovery,
My boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago. Since then its been a bit back and forth because he couldn’t make up his mind if he wanted to be with me again, I implemented a lot of strategies from here and they always worked.
Now I am at that fork in the road. We were together for 2 years. We had a talk last night when I gave back his things because he had given me the decision of how our relationship should go from there. He says he still cares about me a lot, he rated me a UG, 8 to 9 in both categories (i think he wouldve said 10 on the physical side cause I have really gotten myself into shape after the breakup but he probably wouldn’t admit that).
He doesn’t want a relationship with me, and I don’t either at this point in my life. We are both young adults and have never been alone until now, so we both want to experience things without thinking about a person in the back of our minds.
He said later on that maybe we could be together in a couple of years when we’ve both had our time apart and if we were both single and there’s still a spark. But we also talked about the social media situation, if we should delete eachother or not and he said that we both might end up dating other people and probably don’t want to see it on our socials. Only today did I realise that didn’t make much sense because he just said that he wanted to be alone for a while and enjoy his young adult years.
He said I was his first and best girlfriend. After no contact, he did realise all the things I did for him and how I was a great girlfriend. We decided to have another talk next year in february to give eachother, especially me, some space. I do want to be with him in the future, but I don’t understand if we are just stringing eachother along because it’s hard for both of us to let go.
I am leaning towards not talking for a year and then being his distant friend. He said he prefers to be distant friends (the type that every 3-6 months check up on eachother to see how they are because theh still care for eachother) but that the decision is ultimately mine because he did mess with my mind a little after the breakup changing his mind over and over. I just don’t know if taking a year off to get over it and then opening the wound to be friends would be productive. I know that being friends would probably lead to us reconnecting which I do want in the future. This guy is the UG (ungettable guy ) for me.
I asked him about the contradiction today on why he wants to be alone but then next year might start dating and he just said that after his trip he might start dating other people and I might too. I don’t know if I should stick to my plan of waiting a year and then going for it or if I should start as a distant friend next year so that we migr rekindle. I’ve read the articles about being friends and he has plenty of times said he only wanted to be friends but then changed his mind again to wanting to be with me. I just don’t know if I should start in the position of friends and not go through a year seperate because he did say after 5 years he could see something?
Thankyou in advance for reading all this and helping me out! Appreciate it.
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 1, 2017 at 3:01 pm
Hi,
You’re putting yourself in the friendzone and agreeing to him that you will talk months from now looks like you’re just there waiting for him and chasing… Restart nc, do at least 45 days..move on without totally moving on, and then slowly build rapport while continuing your life… Don’t ask him if you still have a chance sooner or later…
Crossroads
October 29, 2017 at 10:20 pm
Hey ex boyfriend recovery,
My boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago. Since then its been a bit back and forth because he couldn’t make up his mind if he wanted to be with me again, I implemented a lot of strategies from here and they always worked.
Now I am at that fork in the road. We were together for 2 years. We had a talk last night when I gave back his things because he had given me the decision of how our relationship should go from there. He says he still cares about me a lot, he rated me a UG, 8 to 9 in both categories (i think he wouldve said 10 on the physical side cause I have really gotten myself into shape after the breakup but he probably wouldn’t admit that).
He doesn’t want a relationship with me, and I don’t either at this point in my life. We are both young adults and have never been alone until now, so we both want to experience things without thinking about a person in the back of our minds.
He said later on that maybe we could be together in a couple of years when we’ve both had our time apart and if we were both single and there’s still a spark. But we also talked about the social media situation, if we should delete eachother or not and he said that we both might end up dating other people and probably don’t want to see it on our socials. Only today did I realise that didn’t make much sense because he just said that he wanted to be alone for a while and enjoy his young adult years.
He said I was his first and best girlfriend. After no contact, he did realise all the things I did for him and how I was a great girlfriend. We decided to have another talk next year in february to give eachother, especially me, some space. I do want to be with him in the future, but I don’t understand if we are just stringing eachother along because it’s hard for both of us to let go.
I am leaning towards not talking for a year or 2 and then being his distant friend. He said he prefers to be distant friends (the type that every 3-6 months check up on eachother to see how they are because theh still care for eachother) but that the decision is ultimately mine because he did mess with my mind a little after the breakup changing his mind over and over. I just don’t know if taking a few years off to get over it and then opening the wound to be friends would be productive. I know that being friends would probably lead to us reconnecting which I do want in the future. This guy is the UG (ungettable guy ) for me.
Thankyou in advance for reading all this and helping me out! Appreciate it.
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 1, 2017 at 3:01 pm
Hi,
You’re putting yourself in the friendzone and agreeing to him that you will talk months from now looks like you’re just there waiting for him and chasing… Restart nc, do at least 45 days..move on without totally moving on, and then slowly build rapport while continuing your life… Don’t ask him if you still have a chance sooner or later…
Ollie
October 26, 2017 at 12:38 pm
My boyfriend left me last week, completely out of the blue. We were so happy, just begun living together, in lust still after a year. He told me he woke up the day he left and realised he couldn’t commit to me. That he wasn’t ready to put in the work and ups and downs that you had to put into a relationship. He said he only wanted to make himself happy and confined he no longer loved me. I walked out of the house and immediately began NC. I haven’t heard from him since, however he has blocked me on all social media, but made all accounts public deleting all of our photos and now putting up topless photos of himself for the world to see. With a holiday we had planned together coming up and bank accounts needing to be sorted out, I have done all of it. Very confused, hurt and embarrassed.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 29, 2017 at 11:07 am
HI Ollie,
start being active in improving yourself and in posting, just make it public posts.. do at least 30 days nc.
Clarissa
October 9, 2017 at 3:38 am
Hi, umm… So my name is Clarissa, and about two months ago, I was dumped… again..by my ex-boyfriend, Miguel. He and I had dated for 9 months, and then he dumped me for another girl. Nothing came out of that, so I sort of got okay. We were friends with benefits for a while too, but called that off. I had almost completely healed, and I got a message from him saying he realized he misses me and he made a mistake, and that I was the best girlfriend he’d ever had…
We’re really young, I’m a senior in high school and he’s a junior, we’re both 17, so I know a lot of people are going to look down on me for this whole situation. When we were dating, I made him drawings and paintings and clay sculptures, tutored him, was his nurse when he was sick, and I practically lived with him because I spent every weekend with him and when I didn’t go over, he’d ask where I was because he said he missed me. I love really hard and have a tendency to love unconditionally, I forgive everything. So I gave him a second chance and forgave him and I realize that makes me naive, but I thought “everyone deserves a second chance.” We stayed together two days.
It took two days for me to realize I was an idiot. He had met this girl–Keileigh–a week before. She was way too close to him to make me comfortable, gossiped about him, got her friends to hate me. I share a class with her and her friends and they would actually stop talking and change their conversation about Miguel when I entered the room. I was nervous, especially when they started talking about how cute he is and how much they love his hugs and how his… “package” is so big they can eel it when they hug him… which is unfortunately true. So I got upset and started ranting to my friend Sabrina, who went over and saw that Miguel was BOTH of Keileigh’s phone backgrounds. So I confronted her and she aced like it was nothing. I confronted him and we got in a fight. She told me she’d leave our lives forever to make us happy. Then she said she cried so hard she lost her voice at the thought of leaving his life and losing him. I started hating her.
I asked him to change his phone backgrounds. I said they could stay friends, but I was uncomfortable with how close they were after a week. He said “We’ll see what I do.” Later that day, he said he wouldn’t do that. He said he’d “always been that way”, which he hadn’t, and dumped me when I got mad. He said “no we’re already fighting again.” and that was that. Next thing I knew, he and Keileigh were together. She was his “boo” and flaunts it. She makes sure my life is miserable, won’t stop talking about him, keeps asking me for advice to make him happy with her, makes a lot of people hate me for no reason. He spread lies about me on Snapchat, and posted parts of our conversation on social media, but only the parts that made me seem bad. He got about half our school to hate me and glare at me and shove me in the hall, and I snapped. I told him I wanted some stuff back. She was grinding on him, and he told me to go away, that he had no time for me. I snapped and slapped him. Not even hard, it was a wrist-flick because she was in the way of my arm. He got mad and shoved me so hard I stumbled. They went to the vice-principal and told him it was so hard Miguel got a red mark (which he hadn’t). I got suspended, despite telling the whole story. there was “no proof” they’d done anything to me, though the vice principal said Keileigh does seem to “get around”. I’d had a previously spotless record.
In ISS, I wrote a four-page letter explaining how he’d made me feel and asking for an apology. He cursed me out and told me I’d be better off… gone… and then threatened to tell the vice principal I was bothering him. I felt really picked on and cried a lot and begged my mom to let me switch schools. She refused, because when I graduate I’ll be getting an Associate’s degree in Veterinary Assisting.
The teasing didn’t stop, Keileigh is cheating on Miguel and many people have told him, but he says “no I know her she’d never do that” even though over 30 people have caught her with more than one other guy. I’m frustrated too, because I feel like I’m prettier than she is, and she’s a total b-word. She makes fun of her friends, talks behind everyone’s back, gossips about her own boyfriends AND best friends, and steals other people’s ideas. And she’s so much taller than him, and he told me he’d never date a girl taller than him.
I got mad again when they were flaunting themselves in front of me, and told her she’s the worst kind of liar. A security guard overheard, I went to talk to the principal and a counselor. They were actually on my side and were supportive and said they didn’t like Keileigh either.
We had fall break and I finally got to the point where I stopped having nightmares, which I’d been having nonstop for months. Tomorrow we have school again… I don’t want to go back. I want them to stop being together. I’m not over him, but I don’t want him anymore. I deserve better. I just don’t want to see them together anymore. I want her to feel as horrible as she made me feel. I want him to realize he hurt me and to feel sorry. I don’t want to go back and I’m scared. I have to see them every day for at least another 7 months. I got so depressed I even stopped all my art and hobbies–I just sit in my room all day now, and he apparently burned the gifts I gave or bought him, gave them to her, or shot them with his BB gun until they exploded.
How can I get over him?
Thank you.
Clarissa
October 9, 2017 at 3:44 am
Oh, and they turned everyone against me, all my friends don’t talk to me anymore. I only have one friend now–my best friend for 3 years–Megan, who can’t be convinced to leave my side. She and my mom are my only support against all this.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 10, 2017 at 2:06 pm
Hi Clarissa,
Focus in yourself.. If you really want to move on, dont waste time being angry and thinking about them..when you do, just stop and go back to what you’re doing
Jessica
October 6, 2017 at 2:57 pm
Hi Chris,
I broke up with my boyfriend more than 2 months ago and I went through the process of breaking off with him so hard. I’ve been in a long distance relationship with this guy over a full year. In fact, I knew him 17 years ago. We reconnected on Facebook when he divorced his ex-wife about 2,5 years.
At the beginning, he was interested in me. We had fun together and our conversations were deep. We shared a lot of good memories in the past and now. After that, I was unhappy with a little bit time he spent in our relationship so that I emailed him and telling him my true feeling that I didn’t enjoy our conversations few weeks lately. His response was “…I’ve been busy with new job and having a daughter, it’s difficult to have spare time to talk. How about this, one of us talk when we have something new or important thing to say…”.
I was angry because this email and I didn’t contact him although I still have strong feelings for him and still love him. Because of this email, I cut off 12 weeks no contact with him, but he didn’t contact me during 12 weeks. I know he is a stubborn man, so I try to initiate contact him first. When he received my email, he responded immediately.
We emailed back and forth about 6 weeks and we were happy again. At that time, I was in good emotions and I had created a game for him but he was upset because the game wronged him (the game had pictures of my boss and some male colleagues). I didn’t know how his true feelings for the game. The more I try, the less it’s not working in our communications. It’s because my thoughts are not his thoughts. He stopped contact me anymore. My thought that I made mistake when I touched his ego.
A half of me wants to move on and a half of me wants to get him back, but I don’t want to lose myself to have him. I come back in no contact 2 months again.
I’ve been reading some of your articles, I do like this website so that I’m trying to write my story here.
Please give me advice.
Thank you.
Jessica
October 18, 2017 at 12:56 pm
Hello,
It’s me again. Since my ex-boyfriend broke up with me, he deleted his WhatsApp account but we are still friends on Facebook until now. It has been 3 months, I’ve put some beautiful pictures of me on FB at the end of weekends, and having a lot of my friends liked and comments for them. I’m happy with that. I have been feeling good about myself and become more confident. I really don’t know if he has checked on my facebook it’s just because I’m not focused on him anymore.
Whether I get my ex – boyfriend back or not it’s not important to me. I found this website is helpful so just to thanks, all of you guys.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 20, 2017 at 8:01 pm
That’s good..
Jessica
October 9, 2017 at 2:26 pm
Hi,
Thank you very much for the quick reply.
I’ve not been together with him as a girlfriend and a boyfriend since we reconnected over a year. He has made a plan to visit me in this year before we broke up by a game (He is in Cannada I live in Viet Nam). I had met him only one time in 2000 and we were only 4 months by emails and phone calls for an LDR. I know all of his relatives, his sister is one of my best friends.
One thing I know that he loves his daughter so much. Whatever he does for her only. He felt guilty about his divorce because his daughter is not living with her parents in the same house. And more thing I know his ex-wife had another man for years, she left him because of this man.
Thank you again.
Jessica
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 10, 2017 at 2:42 pm
Well, frankly, that’s it.. I know it hurts but you’re together.. You’re asking something that is for bf gf only.. If you’re going bacn to nc be active in improving yourself and in posting
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 8, 2017 at 9:05 pm
Hi Jessica,
I just want to make it clear, are you together? Like bf and gf? Or just talking but you have feelings for him?
Sheila
September 12, 2017 at 1:13 pm
Me(23)and my ex boyfriend(28)dated for seven months. I Love him and I knew he loved me too. He has even introduced me to his family on two occasions and also told me he sees me as his wife.Recently we were talking deeply and I told him I noticed he hides his feelings a lot from me and he admitted it. The next day he texted me and told me we weren’t meant to be, that our relationship was moving too fast,that he wanted us to break up. I didn’t text him that day he sent me the cowardly text because I was in shock . But on the evening of the next day I texted him back and told him that he should stop lying to himself, that he has insecurity issues, which was not a lie and that was why he was breaking the relationship. Then I blocked him on Facebook, and I had deleted his number but I had to send him a final text so I sent a request, he accepted it and I told him that he doesn’t appreciate himself, which isn’t a lie because he kinda have a low self esteem sometimes, and that’s why he doesn’t appreciate me and doesn’t appreciate our relationship. I also told him that he needs to go and see a therapist. He hasn’t replied me and I haven’t text or called him after that. I don’t know what to do now.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 14, 2017 at 8:49 pm
Hi Shiela,
Check this one:
EBR 052: Insecure Ex Boyfriends And How To Handle Them
Cody
August 27, 2017 at 11:57 am
Hello I broke up with my ex a month ago and I decided to remain freinds with him back then. But then he was at a party where my best friend has aswel and I found out that he was talking about how harsh Ive been on him and how he tried to put me in a bad light to others by changing the truth and then called me a w*ore. So I messaged him and asked if is trued but he got angry on my best friend telling me, told me “your loss tbh” and blocked me. Then he blocked my best friend too. Then I found out that he has been flirting with my best friend all along even when we were still together and he flirted with another friend of mine but he told me that she was the one flirting with me and he destroyed our friendship. However I thought it will be easy to get over him now but he got into the same sixth form as I have and I dont know what to do. I have emailed the sixth form if they can make sure we wont be in the same classes and they assured me of that. Can I have any advice on how to stop feeling affected by him and not feel anything at all if i see his face again?
CC
August 28, 2017 at 7:16 pm
Let’s be honest here, people say stupid and cruel things when they’re hurting out of spite (especially pubescent teenage boys). This sounds exactly like what your ex has been doing since he has essentially been ‘rejected’ by you. Just remember that no matter what he says doesn’t matter and he probably doesn’t mean it he’s just saying it out of hurt and anger, so don’t let his words bring you down just because he’s got a butt hurt (maybe try taking the fact that he’s using his energy to talk about you and that you are spicy & desirable enough to be a heartbreaker as a compliment). But perhaps reconsider or re-evaluate your relationships with those specific friends. You need to surround yourself with people who make you feel good & love and support you just as you would to them – these friends don’t sound like that right now. Flirting isn’t technically cheating (but that’s just my opinion) but your ex and your friends Overstepped that fine line, which is pretty disrespectful since both parties should be more considerate of how their actions make others feel E.G. betrayed and disrespected. The best thing to do with your friends is to clear the air once and for all (maybe even set boundaries for each of you for when either of you get into new relationships as not to repeat the past) and then move on from it all (no grudges that give girls the catty drama stereotype please 🙂 instead take the high road because you’re too good for all that crap. For now give your ex a wide birth (aka no speaking) to allow both of you to heal so then you can both be civilised friends like you wanted originally. I know it’s a pain when you see your ex at school but try to avoid them at all costs – out of sight out of mind right? However if I’m totally honest though… screw your ex! He is a selfish immature tool who doesn’t respect other people’s lives or feelings. He clearly didn’t give you the respect you deserved by flirting with your friends, regardless of who started what or who said this that and the other. Let him grow up because right now he isn’t worth your time or breath. Give yourself a set time e.g 2 days to be as upset about the situation as you want, then afterwards push all thoughts of him & any backlash this has had on you or your friends to the back of your mind. Stay active, be happy and focus on the positive sides of things. You’ve got the motivation to better yourself and grow as a person so please take it because you being happy and not allowing anything he says or does from then on is the best revenge you could get on him (also makes him regret not having you around 😉 ) This will take time but you’ll come out of it 10 times better in the end plus he may end up crawling back to you to give you your much deserved apology for his total disregard of your feelings x
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 27, 2017 at 2:22 pm
HI Cody,
That’s normal. You’re human, you will get hurt.. You have to go through it and just acknowledge that time will come it will not hurt anymore.. It will be faster if you start being active in your life to make yourself grow.
Taurus
August 12, 2017 at 8:26 am
Hi.
I just broke up with my ex boyfriend 2 weeks ago after dating for almost 3 years. He is a nice guy and he truly loved me when we were dating. We both lost our virginity to eachother and we have had so many memories together. He wanted to marry me but I didn’t want to (although I really loved him) because we were very different. And also my mom didn’t want me to marry him because of the same reason. After our graduation (almost 1 month or more later) when we were far, he called it quits over text message. I didn’t want to end it because I was still in love with him. I was so depressed and begged him to stay but he didn’t want to because he was too hurt and also told me that I took him for granted. He told me that we can be friends but it was not easy for me. I still used to txt him saying how sad I am and how much I miss him. He used to get irritated when I txt like that. And once I even asked him if he is dating someone because I used to see him online and never txt me. I had doubted him with one of our mutual friend who used to hang out with him there. He said he doesn’t have a gf right now and later he texted me saying that he’s dating someone and told me not to disturb him… Later that night when I asked that girl(our mutual friend), she said to me that he had told her that he liked her since a year ago. I was more shocked and devastated. I stopped texting him and was so pissed at him. After few days we even fought over texts and I told him to stop texting me. Ever since I didn’t text him and stopped posting sad quotes.
After a week without any conversation, he sent me a “morning” text. I acted cool and normal as he was asking about my plans and all. I ended the conversation saying bye through text and he said bye too. But after two minutes he texted me again asking me if I am still mad at him. I told him that he cheated on me and he said he didn’t. He started clearing up the mess and told me that he had told that girl that he likes her but as a bestfriend. I couldn’t trust him fully though. He said he wants to be my friend (a normal friend, not a lovey dovey one) and I said ok and pretended I have really moved on. He even told me that he will help me out with my problems or if there is anything he can do. I am really confused with what he’s thinking. Does he miss me? Does he wants to be my friend only for a sake? Please help me figure it out
CC
August 28, 2017 at 7:40 pm
I’m just going to be straight with you: Just leave him be. Take a lot of time for yourself to better yourself and don’t have any contact with him. Start a new hobby, make yourself feel good by being sociable, getting plenty of exercise and just loving life as a single Pringle! I appreciate what you’re saying and how hurt you must be feeling but try to channel that into making your life without him better. I totally empathise with you as you must be hurting so much but this is ok. You’re human and deserve to be happy. Use this experience to reflect on what went wrong in the relationship and afterwards. Try your very hardest to not over Annalise things like him not replying to you or him being online and not talking to you because it will make your head spin and just wind you up even more.
He is trying to keep you in his life but only on his terms – you don’t have time for this bullshit. Whatever problems you have you will always have people around you to love and support you through them and you will never have to face them alone – right now for your own sake he probably isn’t the best choice of people since he’s been causing you more grief than good right now. Surround yourself with these supportive people and let all out of your frustration and pain out of your syste E.G. have a girly night where you can just vent for one last time before moving on and avoid posting anything negative to do with your ex on social media (even if it isn’t direct) – be present on social media if you wish but please avoid this. be the best version of yourself, have fun being single and push negative thoughts surrounding your ex to the back of your head and focus only on the positive
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 12, 2017 at 2:33 pm
He’s trying to friendzone you.
Nikki
August 11, 2017 at 3:31 am
Hey there,
So I broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago because I knew that he wasn’t the “one” for me. We would constantly fight and we barely could relate on anything. After 2 years of dating, I still couldn’t see a future with him so I had to end things. The breakup resulted from a fight and happened all over text. I asked to meet up with him to talk about it in person but he said that he never wanted to see me again. He then blocked me on everything. I felt bad for breaking up with him because he was a nice guy, but it had to be done because we just had SO many differences. Now, three months later, we sometimes text, but every time we do it turns into him telling me how much he misses me and then we start fighting about everything. He told me that he could never be friends with me again because he was an “all or nothing” kinda guy. However, he was the person I lost my virginity to and my first true love so I can never truly forget him, and unlike him, I do want to keep in touch time to time but he wont allow that. And recently, Ive also started to miss him a lot. I miss talking to him more than anything. How do I get over him even though I was the one to end things? Not talking to him at all has messed me up because I am not used to it. I don’t know if I regret breaking up with him because I know i did the right thing. Its just that I miss some things about him and not being able to talk to him at all is killing me. I haven’t seen him in months and I keep getting remind of him because we have mutual friends. Please help me get over him. I haven’t been able to sleep properly for DAYS now because of him.
Taurus
August 12, 2017 at 8:01 am
Hi,
As I was going through this site, I saw your comment and read it. I don’t really have a suggestion for your problem, but I felt like your story and my story of break up was kinda similar. We broke up 2weeks ago after dating for almost 3years. He was really a nice guy, my first true love and he’s the one I broke my virginity to. He wanted to marry me but I didn’t want to because we were different (although I was in love with him) plus my mom wouldn’t allow me. So he called it quits over text messages. I was so sad and depressed because I really loved him(and I still do). I begged for one more chance but he’s too hurt to take me back and he said I took him for granted. He wanted to be friends but I acted to clingy by writing all those Romantic texts. Later on we fought over the phone and hadn’t contacted for around a week. Then few days later he showed up again through txt asking me if I am still mad at him. He said he wants to be my friend and also he will help me if I have problems but he doesn’t want me back anymore. I don’t know what does it mean.
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 11, 2017 at 4:53 pm
Hi Nikki,
check this one:
Why is Getting Over An Ex So Hard?
Anabelle
August 5, 2017 at 8:08 am
Hey!
I’ve been having a hard time getting over and stop thinking of my ex. We’ve had a rough break up however it ended in a fake nice way. It’s been 3 months now however it feels like it was just yesterday. Our age difference is 6 years, I am 21 and he is 27. We’ve dated in total of 8 months. Before we’ve dated he was dating his ex fiancé, a relationship that lasted 3 years. After 3 months of his ex fiancé breaking up with him, he start dating me. Making me realize that I might have been a rebound. Most of our problems involved his ex fiance. Which makes me believe, that is his baggage. Currently he is dating someone else.
My point is, he was my first love (at least that’s what it feels like). It is eating me apart knowing he is happy with a new person and erased me from his life completely. I feel very broken. I’ve tried everything, getting social, active, travelling however at the end of the day my mind is like a magnet attracted into thinking of him and not understanding why has this happened. Blaming myself for not doing better…even though I’ve been told I’ve done nothing wrong.
Would you suggest anything?
Will be much appreciated 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 6, 2017 at 7:09 pm
Hi Anabelle,
Check this one:
First Loves And How To Get Over Them…