Popular posts
The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
Recent posts
What Happens When A Narcissist Collapses?
How Do Avoidants Sabotage A Relationship?
Dismissive Avoidants And The No Contact Rule
The Power Of Silence After Rejection
Why Are Dismissive Avoidants Cruel?
The #1 Reason A Man Suddenly Commits
How Long Does Avoidant Deactivation Last?
How To Let Go Of An Avoidant Partner
How Do Avoidants Create Distance?
What Is An Avoidants Biggest Fear?
Post categories
Samantha
February 19, 2017 at 2:04 pm
I can’t even stop stalking him at instagram and whatsapp.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 20, 2017 at 10:13 pm
Hi Samantha,
I’ll forward this to Chris. I can’t promise he’ll answer immediately though.. but this will reach him…
Samantha
February 19, 2017 at 2:02 pm
Hi?
I am really depressed and I’m having a hard time moving on. I don’t even know if i can do it. My ex broke up with me last year because i cheated. He has been using me for sex but i decided to not do it with him anymore. I tried no contact only to fail it on the 17th day… After that we begun talking but in every conversation he brought up sex even after telling him we won’t have sex unless he commits. He agreed but he kept on talking about it. We then decided to meet at his place and we had sex and i remember i got mad at him and told him he only thinks about sex..well i couldn’t resist him too but i said mean things and got angry. I have been telling him I’ll forever see him as a fuck boy coz he thinks of sex more often. We then talked and we agreed we’d only meet in public places. He would sometimes send an emoji of something that looks like a dick just to make me mad. I then texted him yesterday asking him if he doesn’t want me in his life he should just tell me.. But that’s something he’ll never say. I also asked him y is it that i start conversations always and he would say he has nothing to talk about. We talked until late at night where he said it’s time he got a chiq if all i think is he’s using me. He also said that he wouldn’t date me because I’m emotionally unstable and he’s aware of the fact that I love him and i would do anything for him. I told him every time he always comes up with a different reason of not taking me back like i have trust issues.. I text too much and I’m annoying and now I’m emotionally unstable. He just texted back and said sorry. I suggested to him i need space for a while to heal and stop loving him then he said he’s my friend and he’ll be there for me. It just kills me because i don’t think i can get a guy like him ever. Hope you understand that the breakup is still fresh and i just feel that way. I love him so much and i can’t even stop myself from crying. I’m just wondering why he would hurt me that much instead of leaving me the moment he found out. I’ve proved to him so many times but along the way i ended up failing and doing the wrong things that an ex shouldn’t do. I am not that social and I’m not good at making friends so i am just on my own and dealing with my own problems. I can’t even stop thinking of the memories we had and how much i’ve fought for him. I don’t even have the appetite of eating anything. I am still hoping for him to come back but every time i do that i get hurt and find myself in the same place. What can i really do at this point.. I’m too scared and want to try but I’m even more scared he’d reject me. The times i was with him he would say we won’t date right now so i hoped he would love me in future but he changes every time and now he wants a girlfriend. I am scared of him having a girlfriend coz i can’t stop thinking of him having sex with the girl he’ll get. Can you please tell me what to do coz I’m having a hard time moving forward. I wanna attract him back but then he’s hard to convince and have him back. I want to move on but then i don’t know if i can manage. Amor? Can you please talk to Chris too about my situation coz he’s a guy and he would know better. I need help and guide me on how to do it. Please
Samantha
February 21, 2017 at 4:57 am
Hi
How long will he take..
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 21, 2017 at 11:13 pm
I’m not sure.. I can’t promise anything because it depends on how busy he is.. remind me after a week, if there’s no follow up..
Katie
January 12, 2017 at 9:35 pm
Hello,
There is this guy who we have had a thing for each other for about a year now. He’s 29 and I am 24.
About 8 months ago we started talking a lot and hanging out. We had so much chemistry. He doesn’t however have the best reputation with relationships and girls. He is a bit of a player. But everyone around us could tell we really cared about each other. We ended up ending things but were still on good terms. About 4 months later we started hanging out again. Everything was even better than they were the first time. Except that he told me he is moving away to a different state for work in about 5 months.
We were head over heels for each other. There was even a few times he said I love you however he did have a few drinks. He ended up telling me when he moves things aren’t going to work out and that he can’t do a long distance relationship. He has slowed down on asking me to hangout and doesn’t really text/call anymore. But he does snapchat me a few times a day… which I never/hardly ever respond to. I feel like I just need to cut him off and move on but there is still a part of me that wants to hang on because I know how much we care about each other.
I would appreciate any advice!!
Vanessa
January 15, 2017 at 11:42 pm
Hi, the story that you have shared reminds me of my recent ex bf. He loves to play games and lure you in until he finds another girl and then another after that. Those type of guys are misleading and useless, yes its nice he makes you feel special for a moment but he probably tells all of them the same stories. Don’t mean to be harsh, I learned the hard way. Him coming back and forth from Miami to my city was crazy enough for me to handle with all the lies and catching his acts on his phone. I hope you find a good guy cuz wasting yr time on somebody that is all over the place isnt worth it.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 13, 2017 at 2:29 pm
Hi Katie,
if you want to try, are you going to do the no contact rule?
Jane
January 8, 2017 at 8:25 pm
I’m recently going through a break up which only happened a week ago now. This is actually the 3rd time the same guy has broke up with me over the space of just over 2 years. I am completely and utterly in love with him. I keep going back after things get messy but things have been amazing lately. We are long distance because he also works away at sea for a job. So it’s been hard as sometimes we have to spend months apart. But we get through it and I can honestly say he’s the best thing that has happened to me. So just over the Xmas period we was together for all the holidays. We had a great Christmas (at least I thought we did) but then as soon as I got home after spending 2 weeks straight together, he said he can’t do this anymore and he isn’t ready for what’s ahead (we are supposed to be moving in together in the summer) and that’s pretty much all I got. He went back to work at sea again on Friday until the end of February and I have heard nothing from him. I asked if we could speak over text a couple of days after the break up so I could get some closure but he simply read the message and did not respond. I’ll just add that we are both 20 years old. I know we’ve broke up before and believe me it hurt so much but he always came back and I think that’s how I got over my heartbreak. But this time feels different and I’m not sure why. With it being the 3rd time it really feels like the end. I really am a mess and I can’t stand it any longer, I want him back more than ever but he has treated me so badly by doing this to me again I know that I shouldn’t want him. Please help.
N
January 23, 2017 at 10:12 am
Hi Jane,
i just read you comment and i am really sad that you are hurting.
my boyfriend of 4 years dumped me last Wednesday, he couldn’t even be bothered to come home from work and talk to me even though he knew i was hurting and my heart was breaking and i had to sit in his mum’s house and keep a happy face on and force myself to eat my dinner when really i just wanted to be sick and throw myself on the floor and cry!!! i lived with him for 4 years with his family while we saved for our own place, this week we should have been looking at houses.
he got home at half one in the morning because he went out with his work mates, i had to force it out of him how he felt because i couldn’t spend another day at work feeling sick and emailing him if ”we” were okay?? He told me that he didn’t love me anymore and hadn’t for 2 months!! and wanted different things and wasn’t happy, so during Christmas, spending Christmas with my family, all the presents we got him, the times we went out and enjoyed our self’s, all the laughs he hadn’t loved me. Sending me pictures of houses that we could go look at he didn’t love me!! i have supported this man through stress and depression at work, I’ve held on while he has dragged his feet and gone along with everything he has said as he likes everything to be his way, i would have given him the last pound in my bank account and the shirt off my back, i love him but he has ripped my heart out now for the 3rd time!! i never really had 100% support from his family and sometimes they made things hard, mothers house so mothers rules!!
Before him i was in a toxic relationship for 3 years, my ex drove me to depression and i was on depression tablets for a long time because i was too scared to come off them because i was so at rock bottom!! I’m not going to go into too much detail about that guy because he is long gone and frankly i just don’t even care anymore.
i am now 33 soon to be 34, living back at my family’s home on an air bed with 4 years of my belongings in black bags, i thought this was my year… maybe it still is…YES IT WILL BE!!!
What i want to know Jane is after the 3rd time do you really want to be with your Ex?? Do you really want to be with someone who has treated you badly?? When someone out there could treat you so much better, getting back with your ex will block that person ever coming into your life.
i wish i could go back to 20 and change my self, at 20 i was always worried about not having a BF because all my mates had one so i felt left out and because of that when i did meet someone they were never right for me, i should have just been enjoying life, traveling and just being a kid.
you have you whole life ahead of you Jane, please don’t waste it on someone who has let you down 3 times, who can’t even be bothered to text you back when he knows your heart is breaking, this is your rock bottom, the same as mine, we can’t get any lower so the only way is up for us!!!
that Wednesday my ex ripped my heart out and stumped on it, i can’t go back to this man because at some point he will do it again and again, I’m running around making all the plans, buying stuff for our home and being a wonderful GF while he is still dragging his feet and dragging me down.
i don’t know you but i do know you can do so much better than your EX, please don’t get to 34 and look back like i am at all the signs that he has let me down but forced myself not to see!!! You will be Okay
N
xoxo
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 8, 2017 at 11:11 pm
Hi Jane,
so do you want to move on or get him back?
P
January 3, 2017 at 11:18 pm
Hey there, I was wondering if I could get some insight into the fact that I want to move on from my Ex forever. Does that, seemingly obvious, mean that I should remove him from all social media?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 5, 2017 at 8:34 pm
Hi P,
if that helps you to move on, why not do it?
Serena
December 31, 2016 at 10:40 am
Hiii…
I want to tell you my story
Me and my ex were dating for 8 months…. One day because of a misunderstanding we broke up….. me being a stubborn person also didnt talk to him for 6-7 days and he also knows that i am stubborn this happened a few times….but this time he said he doesn’t care now ….. I asked my friend to talk with him and see how he feels he said he doesn’t care anymore and….. he also started flirting with her…. I’m broken now….. plz tell me what to do I want to move on and make him regret for what he did…
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 31, 2016 at 10:47 am
Hi Serena,
Check this one:
How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Regret Letting You Go
Serena
December 31, 2016 at 10:39 am
Hiii
I want to tell you my story
Me and my ex were dating for 8 months…. One day because of a misunderstanding we broke up….. me being a stubborn person also didnt talk to him for 6-7 days and he also knows that i am stubborn this happened a few times….but this time he said he doesn’t care now ….. I asked my friend to talk with him and see how he feels he said he doesn’t care anymore and….. he also started flirting with her…. I’m broken now….. plz tell me what to do I want to move on and make him regret for what he did…
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 31, 2016 at 10:47 am
Hi Serena,
Check this one:
How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Regret Letting You Go
Sarah
December 31, 2016 at 3:15 am
Hey, well me and my ex were dating for 5 and it was a long distance relationship, 1 month together and 4 months without each other. but knew each other for a year now before dating. it was very complicated but we loved each other a lot, it was complicated with family, my family weren’t really accepting and they didn’t like him or his family, and after 4 months they finally accepted and said it’s fine if you want him take him, but after my parents had given me full permission to talk to him I felt like our relationship was turning. I did have trust issues because of my last ex boyfriend and it took me a year to get over him. I got over my last ex when I met this guy, he apparently loved me a lot, saw a future with me told his parents about me and they loved me and they came and talked to my family and everything, he convinced me that he would never look at another girl then me that he would never cheat that he loves me so much, I had all his passwords for Facebook snapchat etc, and there were no girls. He did fess up about doing shit with other girls in the past (his 21) but now he just wanted to be with me and marry me, the first couple months we were crazy about each other we fought so hard for each other and I built my life based on his promises. When we use to argue he use to blow up my phone with calls and messages, his sister would message me and ask what’s wrong too. Then we started arguing over little things that were so pointless and he would try to open a new page and forget it all but I was so hard headed and would say no (which I regret so much) I would say leave me if you want no one is forcing you to be with me, I would say that out of anger but I never meant it and in my heart I would hope that he didnt, I was so sure that he would never leave me because he claimed he loved me more then I loved him, his response would always be I can’t leave you even if I wanted to because I love you. He use to drain my phone with calls and his first response would be I want you stop all these arguments. I took the thought of him never leaving me because he promised me for granted. After a good 3 weeks of us not on good terms but still talking every day we had one last argument 3 days ago obviously I was so angry and I Told him leave me if you want, and his first response was okay if that’s what you want. His NEVER said that in his life. He gave up without a fight which hurts so much more. He told me I ruined him and that his been chasing me for a month trying to get me back and trying to start a new page and forget it all, forget all the fights and go back to how we were, he told me that I disrespect him too, I told him don’t you dare try talking to me again I hate you I wish I never met you bye. That was the last message between us, he couldn’t last a day without talking to me and the worst part about it all is when he broke up with me he didn’t bother messaging or calling later on it’s been 3 days now, it’s driving me crazy and all I do is cry and I havnt eaten properly for days either, for someone that claimed they loved me so much and couldn’t go a day without talking to me or even houRs, he gave up that easily, for 3 days straight his put up photos and videos of him driving around having fun with no care in the world, I don’t know what to do, New Years eve and I always thought I was going to walk into 2017 with him, I lost him and the thought of that is making me feel all choked up and depressed I don’t want to leave my house or do anything, I can’t get him out of my mind it’s driving me crazy I barely get 4 hours of sleep every night because of him, he hasn’t changed his passwords for anything yet so I don’t get it. My birthday is also in 8 days and we were planning it for so long so his ruined my year and my birthday lol. I try and see HOPE between us because there is no way that two people who have been through what we’ve beeen through (won’t write it here) and he claimed he loved me so much and proved it in so many ways can ignore me for 3 days and counting and show he doesn’t care, what should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 31, 2016 at 10:38 am
Hi Sarah,
do you want to try the no contact rule?
Sunblue
December 30, 2016 at 7:21 pm
hi EBR Team Member.
thanks for the article . it is really helpful .
im 30 years old . iv been in a controlling relationship,long distance relationship . since this was my first relationship ..
i didnt know that he was controlling in the beginning..we used to have fights a lot ..and of course its always my fault ..he always used to blame me . my friends told me several times he is controlling .. i never believed them ..because i were in love with him ..and i was enjoy being in relationship .. he always was questioning me about my past and i have to tell him in details …
i never cared about his past ..for me past is past … but for him the past is what shaping a person…our relationship went too fast i really fall in love with him .. he made me cry a lot .. but because i loved him so much i love hearing his voice .. i forgave him ..and i always apologized for something i didn’t know why it was my fault .. i just want him ..
he broke up with me because we had a big fight , he called me screaming at me ..he was so mad and screaming over silly things , i told him hold on for 5 min . i called my friend asking for help how to calm him down .
he called back and saw my line busy , he flipped out and said why you cut the phone and called your friend . he thought that i’m hiding very serious thing between me and her like playing games on him ..he didn’t believe me .. so he broke up with me ..
i felt so hurt and empty inside .. i didnt do anything ..i just was so scared .. i didn’t know how to calm him down .,i tried to apologize to him many times . but he refused . he said what you have done is very shady , cut the phone while we are seriously talking and talk to your friend he kept saying ” what suppose i think , it must be something very serious to call your friend ..this broke our trust ”
he left me without checking on me . he has cold heart .. this relationship like never met anything to him . i cried a lot .
its been a year now . i didnt talk to him but its difficult . its my first relationship . i wish i can call him and hear his voice .
he never tried to contact me or anything . he knew im in hurt but he said you will forget and be fine .
i know if i call him he will never answer me or if he answers he will make fun of my feeling and this would hurt me more . but hearing his voice would make me happy ..
N
January 23, 2017 at 12:16 pm
Sunblue,
You have done a year!! You should be so proud of yourself!!!
Do you really want to go back to man who sounds like a little boy who when he can’t get his own way belittles you, makes you feel scared that you have to call your friend because you was scared and needed advice??
He treats you this way because he knows you allow him too, he knows he can say whatever he wants to you and you apologise.
And to breakup with you just because you said can you hold for 5 minutes?? That’s is a pathetic excuse and a pathetic excuse of a man!! He sounds like he has deep issues and needs help but rather than be a man and go get that help to better himself he would rather take it out on you!!
And he will keep taking it out on you because you will let him!!
What you have written sounds exactly like what I went through with an ex I was with for 3 years, I met him at 23, and he was my first proper relationship, I was so in love from the first moment.
The reason his last relationship broke up was because him and his ex of 6 years were always fighting and cheating on each other.
So because of his past he made the 3 years of my relationship hell!!! I did not cheat on him I never even looked at another man, I couldn’t have guy mates, he didn’t even like me talking about anything that happened at work that day if it was something to do with a guy!! But he was allowed to still be in contact with his ex GF. I wasn’t allowed to see this as a problem!!!
He was allowed to do what he wanted, he could have his lads holidays, nights out with the guys, I stopped going out and lost friends because I couldn’t deal with the arguments, so while he was out with his mates having a great time I was sat at home with mum and dad watching crappy tv.
Between 1pm & 3pm I would get the drunk phone call, ‘’oh I love you so much / can’t believe I have you in my life’ from that to suddenly ‘’who the f**k are you with? You are with another man!! You are a s**g and a c**t. and then he would break up with me!! Two years I had this. I would be calling him begging him to talk to me because I hadn’t done anything wrong and I would be the one then apologising!! He spoke to me like crap in front of his mates and family and no one ever stood up for me, my friends were begging me to leave him but love was blind!!!
All my money went on him so while I walked around dressed like a tramp he walked around like a king!! I was too embarrassed to really tell my family what was going on… I always thought he would change.
By the 3rd year I was so sick of being treated like crap, on his birthday which I hardly had any money for I took him out for dinner and brought him presents, just for him to turn round and say I think your cheating on me or something like that (it’s been a long time) well I looked at him and said I am so sick of you saying that me that if you really think it is true then F**K OFF!! I’ve have taken you out for a lovely day, I spend all my time with you, when the hell would I have time to cheat on you!!??
For 6 months he stopped… we were really happy only for it to go that way again for another 6 months.
I looked at him and thought I really hate you, so I broke up with him, never heard from him after. For a week I felt free and happy for then for me to hit a brick wall!! I was alone, he was gone, and how was I going to live without him?? My whole world came crashing down. I contacted him begging to get back with me only for him to throw it in my face but I just wouldn’t let go, I was desperate.
Two months later he wanted to meet, I didn’t want to because I knew we wasn’t getting back together so he made out his brother had cancer, I met up with and we got on fine, no word about the brother, we both said we were stupid to break up and I thought we were getting back together. The following Monday we were texting all happy for him to say actually I do not want to be with you as I have a new GF and I am moving in with her.
Time felt like it had stood still, it was all a trick to break my heart all over again.
From then on I had a mini break down, nearly lost my job, was put on anti-depression tablets, drunk to much was desperate not to be single, got myself in credit card debt, I was dead on the inside. Everyone else was moving forward in their relationships and I had taken a million steps back.
For pretty much 2/2 and a half years I lived like this. I still would not leave him alone, after all the hurt and pain he caused me I still wanted this man??
The reason I was like this was because I allowed him to treat me like this. I allowed myself to still contact him as I would not delete or change my number!!
My friends and family were getting fed up with me as I wasn’t helping myself, it’s like I liked living this way because he was then still in my life!!
The final straw came, he lied again about wanting to be with me and then throwing it back in my face, I got on to the phone company and changed my number and wrote a list of all the things he promised we would be doing together because without him I was still going to do them.
Without him I got to go to Florida, Las Vegas, a few places around Europe, as well as some other things.
Don’t get me wrong I still had my down days but I was doing a lot better, I got my glow back.
I bumped into his old neighbour last year and asked how he was, she said he has had quite a few GF’s, quite a few because he doesn’t know how to be in a relationship, he doesn’t know how to treat women with respect!! His still the same guy I met at 23!!
I just laugh about how sad he is now.
Please stop wasting your time on your EX, he isn’t worth a second thought!!! He is not going to change, it will be good for a few months and then it will go back to the old ways!! I spent 3 years apologising for him, sleepless nights, hating life, hating anyone that was happy, please don’t make those mistakes.
You have so much happiness to look forward too, trust me!!
I never thought I would move on and I did!!
You are worth so much more.
N
xoxo
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 31, 2016 at 10:25 am
Hi Sunblue,
would calling him help you to move on?
Layla
December 30, 2016 at 9:34 am
I just wanted to share that my ex was actually double timing with my best friend. My best friend was also not aware that he was in a relationship with me, as both us decoded to keep the relationship a secret under circumstances with him, leading both us to stay blind about what he did behind our backs. Before dating, me and my ex were really close friends. Now, when I am finally at the edge of moving on, he came back to my life, and asked me out again. He is still chasing me for a ‘yes’, but I am just not gonna accept it. But now, I feel like unwanted feelings towards him are coming back. I don’t know how to cut him out of my life, even after so many tries. What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 30, 2016 at 3:20 pm
Hi Layla,
just stop responding..
Kim
December 22, 2016 at 1:37 pm
Hi, I’m Kim I wana share my story I met a guy and we dated for 8 months we wer so in love and he introduce me to his family so did I and after 2months of us that he visited my place he started ignoring me then I didn’t leave him coz I love him way to much he was the first guy who showed me love, then he started cheating on me and ignore me he was with another girl n I was crazy I called the girl up asked her to back off and he yeld at me n broke up with me after months we wer in no contact he came back to me telling me that I was the only girl for him n things were OK again I accepted him he propose me for marriage and I said yes and he told me that his family is coming down to my place next month and I told him OK and I was out of town for 2weeks and he met an accident but never called me nor told me about it so I didn’t get to visit him while he was hospitalized after everything he never contact me again instead blame me for cheating I was shocked because I never cheated on him and he never talk to me but after 2 months again he’s in a relationship with someone else and a serious one cz he did advertise it in Facebook but he has never kept it with me …. Now it’s been 4 months dating that girl and im here heart broken.. I want him back I so miss him….. I wish he will understand I’m in a no contact now it’s been a month last month he did wish me on my birthday and I just said thank you…. Please help me
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 27, 2016 at 11:44 am
Hi Kim,
he’s not going to be the last guy that will love you..did you mean how to move on?
Hope.
December 19, 2016 at 12:57 pm
So before me and my ex started to date we were best friends. And he was dating this one girl that cheated on him and broke his heart. Two months late the asks me out and I say yes we dated over the summer but I felt like he expected things from me. My best friend agreed with me. He was and still is the nicest guy I have ever known. I broke up with him before school but I still like him and he still liked me. We got back together about a month and a half. We never fought at all got along perfectly. My best friend even helped us get back together. But then he told me he felt like we weren’t close anymore. I didn’t feel it though. He asked me to pick between fixing the relationship or ending it. I asked him what he thought we should do. He thought I wasn’t happy but I was he was my first bf. But I’m the type of person who hair can’t say stuff how I feel so easily. And he suggested we end it and I agreed becaus when I thought back to it it seemed like ehbdidnt care anymore making me choose and all. I guess after that he started to flirt with my best friend the same one that got us back together and all. Then two night ago he asked her out. She told me. She wanted to make sure I wasn’t mad at her. I told her I didn’t like him anymore and its fine. I didn’t want to ruin it for her. But I still like him a lot. After that I just broke and started crying. I was staying the night at her house so I just hid in the bathroom. It hurts so much now. I don’t know why. And I don’t know why it hurts now. I guess I just miss him. He’s still my best friend. I just feel like he hates me now. I feel like I did something wrong in the relationship because I wasn’t open enough about my feelings. I regret it so much I just want him back. What do I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 22, 2016 at 11:41 am
Hi,
if you want him back, start with being honest with your best friend first.. are you going to do the no contact rule?
Hope.
December 19, 2016 at 12:34 pm
So before me and my ex started dating we were best friends and he was datigb another of my friends. Well she cheated on him and so he broke up with her and about two months later he asks me out and I said yes. We never fought or anything got along real nice and everything. He was my first boyfriend and I was scared he always expected things from me. And so I panicked one day and ended it. He still like me and I still lime him and about a month and a half we get back together. Once again we never fought. He always wanted to hug me and days I didn’t want to. One day he asks me why we weren’t as close before. I thought nothing cha fed but he did. He asked me if I wanted to fix the relationship or end it. I asked him what he thought and he thought I was happy when I actually was. I was never good at explaining my emotions so I never said anything about. And he thought we should end it and I agreed because to me I thought he didn’t care anymore becaus she made me choose. Its been two weeks since we broke up and I have been fine but I found out he has been flirting with my best friend and asked her out. After that I just broke. J told her I didn’t like him when I still did and that I wasn’t mad at her or him. But all in all I still like him and I don’t want to seem like a jerk by being mean but I really can’t help it when he asks d my best friend and after two weeks. I just really want him back more than anything. What do I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 22, 2016 at 11:41 am
Hi,
if you want him back, start with being honest with your best friend first.. are you going to do the no contact rule?
Lisa
December 19, 2016 at 9:03 am
I’m struggling huge to let go
It hurts and I’m in a state of shock
It was very unhealthy and he treated me poorly
He still doesn’t see it
I have ended it about 100 times in two years
Now it is actually over and I’m a complete disaster
I’m trying so hard with positive affirmations
I cry when I have to
It’s hell its so bad I don’t even see how I’m lucky to have loved
And I don’t want to ever open up like that again
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 22, 2016 at 10:20 am
Hi Lisa,
it’s a process..dont rush it. As studies have found, moving on is like recovering from drugs..
Lacie Kinsella
December 18, 2016 at 2:17 am
Ok. So here’s the thing with my ex boyfriend. We broke up about a week ago over Facebook. Over the course of our relationship I had been asking for my moms and grandmas advice on us. They both gave me advice that I used on him. Both told me to take it slow with him. I did. I tend to go on and on about stuff or repeat myself. He didn’t like that. I mentioned to him that I wanted to stay at his house with him two nights in a row. At this time I had been waiting on my fellow co worker to come out of work so I could drop her off at home like usual. So he came over to my car and I rolled down the window and he asked me if I was still coming over. I was like no i am waiting on my co worker. Then he asked me out of the blue….Are we still together. Didn’t know how to respond to him. So thankfully my coworker came out and we left. He sent me a text on the way home saying I hope you make it the f*** home okay. I waited two hours to tell him I made it home okay. I have almost an hour commute to work. Second I was yet again talking to my grandma about the situation that went down. I didn’t stay either night with him if you were wondering. We work together. I still want to be friends with him. We blocked each other on Facebook. He is 19 and I am almost 24. I know be myself around him. But what else can I do to move on from a still fresh relationship by being friends with him? We are currently on Christmas break. He hasn’t contacted me and I haven’t contacted him. What can I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 21, 2016 at 6:45 am
Hi Lacie,
to move on? just dont initiate talking to him and dont spend time with him. If he initiates, just be polite. Check this:
EBR 060: “Dating Yourself” During No Contact With Veronica Grant
Faith
December 15, 2016 at 3:48 am
Hi Chris,
I’m a high school sophomore and just had my first break up about 2 1/2 weeks ago. We were only together for 3 weeks but it felt like so much more. We were pretty good friends before we started dating and I just want that back. I guess I need help finding a way not to feel sorry for myself so much. I’ve never had my first kiss and I’m still a virgin so I feel like that makes me less desirable in my school. Honestly I really thought that no one liked me until I found out Dominic did. We pass each other in the halls and I can’t stop thinking about him. He is constantly in my head and I just want him out. I think I’ll try to do a 3 month NC but I know that won’t stop me from feeling sorry for myself. If I’m being perfectly honest I just feel really lonely and a lack of love. I always have and I thought that was changing but now I’m back at square 1.
Faith Woodman
December 18, 2016 at 10:36 pm
I am being active. I’m in track and field so when that season comes around I’ll be able to run off my steam and use it to put power into my jumps. I’m also in a few clubs, i’m big into volunteering, and I have several amazing friends. For some reason I still feel lonely. I don’t understand. I’m trying to be strong but it feels like whenever I’m having a good time somehow he gets into my head again. Do you have any idea of how hard it is not to be able to let go of anything? There is nothing that I can just let go of. Sometimes I really hate having such a good memory. Sometimes I even hate myself for being so compassionate and understanding because it only leads to me getting hurt and no matter how much I get hurt I still can’t stop myself.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 22, 2016 at 9:11 am
uae it as a learning experience.. dont avoid the feeling when you feel it
Acknowledge it, just dont linger in it
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 15, 2016 at 11:29 am
Hi Faith,
it’s ok to feel sad. Don’t avoid it. Acknowledge it but dont constantly act out of that emotion. You have to be active even if you’re sad. It’s like being courageous.. You act even if you’re afraid. And this is the perfect time for you to grow.. Build skills, do new things make new friends, find out what you love or not by volunteering, taking short courses, joining organizations or clubs
jay
December 11, 2016 at 9:08 pm
hi good day, i recently came to the UK to just live somewhere differently for a bit .. i joined a dating website and i met a guy — he seemed perfect and we had great convos– things progressed and he asked me to move in and i did. he insisted i lost some weight and i did .. we are from different parts of the world and our cultures are very different- i am from the caribbean but born in america , he is from nigeria.. i started being the house wife – cooking, cleaning , being obedient. i only went out with him alone.- which i never use to do in the caribbean. literally first time im cooking..lol
however i never felt i was good enough for him and always felt he was using me .. he is married but seperated and was always said he only got married for residency which is still pending and he was a next relationship trying to get the girl pregnant to get residency .. and there were a lot of other women. this always bothered me because he always said that he never loved these women but he did in fact use to tell them he loved them and he is naturally a nice person so he treats everyone nice. these women could have once given him residency and so could i now in america as we planned to get married and move to america .
after living with him i saw he had some mean, abusive tendencies and whenever i got angry with him i always ended up apologising and buying him a card and writing a love letter or baking a cake or even flowers.
i will shop for him and pay for us to go to dinner. i will buy the groceries,, he even said he wanted to start back school and i bought his books.
however i made a huge error i use to promise i could hve or would havebought him expensive things and now he has found out i cannot buy them and he got upset and he kicked me out the house and took my phone and the engagement ring ..
he knows i have no one really in the uk but still kicked me out
i am hurting because i know it is my fault as i knew i should not have proised him things i could not have provided but i just didnt know how to keep him– my biggest fear as i always told him was him just leaving me the way he did we these other women and just moving on and living his life and now that has happened.. i think today is the first day i have not cried but i do feel pain inside and an empty feeling.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 14, 2016 at 2:48 pm
HI Jay,
If I were you, I would run away girl. He sounds like an emotional manipulator..
H
December 8, 2016 at 9:17 am
It’s been over a month since I broke up with my boyfriend of five years. It’s been very difficult to lose the person that I matured with, and was always by my side. First love and heartbreak is a nasty thing. I’m not sure what it means to be single, and it cuts deep to have him become a complete stranger. But I can’t have him in my life anymore if I want to move on. It feels terrible, but I don’t want to waste anymore time feeling sorry for myself. Although it hurts, I want to see our break up as endless possibilities. However I’m not exactly sure what that means yet. I want to start by being happy with myself. My friends tell me to go on dates, but I’m not ready for that yet. I still love and idealize my past relationship, and it’s not fair to anyone or myself that I do. I know all these things such as letting go, and time will heal. But sometimes I’m overwhelmed by how much I still love and miss him. He’s still on this pedestal, and I can’t seem to take him off. I try to accept that with time it will be alright, and take it slow. But it stresses me out almost physically. I don’t believe in things like “winning a break up,” because our lives are separate and not a competition. Yet the balls in his court. He’s always been a lot stronger than I am. It tears me down to hear he’s doing just fine and doing the things we planned to do with new people. I’m in such a loop of painful uncertainty, and I want to stop viewing my past relationship as an empire that I could never rebuild.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 12, 2016 at 12:03 pm
Hi H,
The ball is not in his court because how you live your life depends on you only, not on his progress. If you don’t believe in winning a break up, then don’t compare your progress to him. Getting over a break up is a process, some don’t fully recover. They just learn that the past is a part of themselves but even if it hurt them, it doesn’t mean they can’t be happy anymore.
Tanya
December 5, 2016 at 9:55 pm
Hi Team
My BF and I lived together for 3 years, I paid rent to live in his house and we both worked full time and I did a lot of sport but we shared hobbies. We both wanted to commit but I needed to see the other side of the world first and get work experiences for our future so I went, the plan was to his few months and he was Cut up but I thought he’d be fine. He wasn’t, and he started seeing someone within a month. She has a young child and has now moved in (a year later, to my home). I therefore stayed away a year because I couldn’t handle coming back to him seeing her when it was my future. He was hurt that it went, but I was always coming back, and now I’m struggling to go forward. He says he’s moved on, he moved my stuff out of the house mid year and she moved in 4 weeks ago 🙁 is love us back but theres nothing I can do is there?
T
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 9, 2016 at 1:16 am
Hi Tanya,
I have to ask, do you want an advice on how to move on or what steps to do if you want to try for one last time? If you wanted to try for the last time, When was the last time you talked? What did you talk about? When you stayed away for a year, you kept talking?
Maddie
December 4, 2016 at 5:03 pm
Hey,I’ve read the portion of burning bridges with an ex and I have concluded that I would burn the bridge for good and that no bastard deserves a lady and also, he needs to be left alone. I’m agree with the NC policy. It is actually very helpful; ladies! You should try☝
I was able to fully get over him in less than a month. Thank you Chris. You’ve been helpful.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 5, 2016 at 11:45 am
That’s good! Thank you Maddie!