How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back If You Slept With Him- Ex Boyfriend Recovery

554 thoughts on “How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back If You Slept With Him”

Lowi

March 22, 2018 at 2:45 pm

My ex broke up with me about two months ago. Our stint was about that long, too. I wanted to take it casually, but he wanted to date me then when I agreed and accepted to dating him, he decided he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. He regained “consciousness and balance” and realized he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. His words, not mine. I agreed to it even though I did tell him I was disappointed. He asked to meet and talk about it since he did dump me over email. I agreed to meet and foolishly suggested that we can be casual sex buddies, i.e., FWB. I know! So dumb of me. I guess I just wanted him in my life no matter what.

Anyway, during those two months that we were broken up, we met at a party and had sex. We met the next weekend at my house and had sex again. This was last weekend. The in between the sex 9we did it twice) was awkward and I felt like I was walking on eggshells, i.e., trying not to say or do the wrong thing. I felt terrible about myself. Sort of like I was rewarding a man who broke my heart, unnecessarily at that. I did ask him a day later how he felt about it and he said he enjoyed it and didn’t feel pressure, therefore, felt happy about it. I felt even worse (horrible, actually) when he said this because this means that for this to work I have to be uncomfortable to make him comfortable. I cannot be myself because for some reason being myself would create pressure. That’s not fun at all. I’d rather just cry every single day because I have lost him than give him that sort of power again. I mean, the sex is fantastic, but I cannot just be a toy.

He sent messages asking how I felt about him because I hadn’t told him how it made me feel. I met him and told him that I, unlike him, I did not enjoy myself like I thought the arrangement would be. Like, the sex was great, but the in-between was awkward, and it made me too nervous. We literally withdrew after sex. No cuddling/lovingness at all. What’s the point in that? I had been in FWB before, and it did not feel like this. I told him that either he’s with me or he’s not, and he’s not so I am not having sex with him anymore. I left after saying this.

This was two days ago. I have decided to start my NC. He will be going out of the country in three weeks’ time for a month and a half. This means that my NC will be at three weeks by the time he leaves and nine weeks by the time he’s back. Should I contact him before he leaves (21 days) or after he comes back (63 days)? I want him back though. I really felt like we made a strong connection.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 28, 2018 at 5:23 pm

Hi Lowi,

Don’t cut short your nc.. Finish at least 30 days amd initiate contact and slowly rebuild rapport while he’s abroad..
Lowi

April 4, 2018 at 8:03 pm

Thanks for the feedback, Amor. I am currently on day 15. He hasn’t tried to contact me at all during this period. He is under the extremely stubborn category therefore I am not too surprised by this. He did send me a Facebook request i.e. to add him as a friend. He did this on day 10. I haven’t responded to it. Should I add him or just continue making posts public?

Nyah

March 11, 2018 at 5:17 pm

My ex broke up with me just a few days ago, I’m on a mini vacation with my brother to distract myself from the hurt but I have a snapstreak with him and we’ve been keeping it alive, I accidentally sent him a video of a dog that ran up to me but that’s just about it. No response or anything, last conversation I actually had with him was during the breakup when he said he was sorry and I responded saying I doubt that, I was angry.. I regret it. I begged him to not leave me months before and he stayed up until now and he’s been saying the whole time that maybe we can get back together in the future but he doesn’t know. All of this started when he got a new job (that he hates), had to submit his application for college (he talks about college a lot now), and said he doesn’t know if he can return my feelings.

When we broke up he said he wanted me to find someone who can make me happy, that he “knows I can be strong without him”, and it felt like a huge blow to everything I’ve done for him the whole relationship. He doesn’t realize how happy he’s made me, but now he’s saying that this breakup probably would’ve happened no matter what I’ve done because now we’re “too different”? That he feels like he can’t talk to me about some things?

I’m just at a huge loss right now, I hate waking up alone and not being able to hold his hand, he felt like my everything and now that’s been ripped away. I’m afraid that the NC will just make him think that I moved on and he won’t even try getting back together,but he acted annoyed the last few times I talked to him before the breakup.
I also left a bunch of stuff at his house, but I still have his favorite shirt and one of his coats, last time we talked about the coat I admitted to wearing it when I feel down because it’s comforting. It still is but it hurts to look at it right now, he never brought up getting his stuff back (except for a laptop) and giving me my stuff back..Part of me wonders if he wants to hold on but another part of me says he just doesn’t care. What the hell do I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 14, 2018 at 1:05 pm

Hi Nyah,

You want him to think you’re still chasing him?

Ms Positivity

March 11, 2018 at 11:07 am

So my ex and I had sex over a week ago.. and he hasn’t called. We hadn’t seen each other in over a year and he called said that he missed me and our convos he can’t have with anybody else I know he just wanted to have sex and honestly so did I u see he does this every 6 months to a year he disappears then comes back and this time I was not going to let that happened but it did he caught me so off guard I feel so ashamed because I know better. What do I do, do I text him and just let him have it or keep strong and have no contact with him. I’m so mad at myself. Because yes I want to be with him and that was the worst decision to make
Lost hope

March 5, 2018 at 9:46 am

Hi Chris & Team,

So we broke up on 1st November and ever since then sometimes we stopped talking, then he came after me and we talked a lot, he called me out on a date in December – but then pulled back and said he is the kind of guy who makes a decision and keeps to it, because that is what gives him stability and safety. We then did not talk for a month, I started dating, and then in the middle of January, he started to talk to me more and more online. Then we met up a couple of times, then he started to say things like, he is really sorry he made that decision back months ago – because had he known all the changes happening in my life he would have decided otherwise.
And then we slept together – talked a lot, afterwards he called me almost every evening after work (we are coworkers). Then after two weeks, we once again met up, watched movies and slept together and it was great. Then we had a busy week, but still, he called me every evening. Then he went skiing, and the following week – this weekend, we once again scheduled a movie night. It was amazing, we held each other, carressed each other, then made love, he slept at my place and in the morning we talked. I asked where this all was going. He said he does not know – he made that decision and is still afraid things can go wrong between us, because we tried once already. He knows he acted as if we were more, but he is uncertain. he never tried anything again. He feels depressed and unable to let anyone in. he now has realized he was not feeling low because of me, but he had issues in his head. He has everything, still he is unhappy. I tried to help him, I tried to talk to him and first he looked positive, and then he said I should rather be mad at him and not let him come closer to me. My heart is broken, he says he has feelings, but his rational decision is stronger.
What can I do now? We have been here, agreed not to talk – then he always came back eventually. What can I do to make him realize this is worth a new try? It was amazing to be together, he also knows that.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2018 at 7:38 am

Restart nc and stop sleeping with him.. Don’t sleep with him again if you’re not officially back together..

Charmaine

March 4, 2018 at 3:45 am

I’m definitely going to try this. It makes sense… It’s logical.
Thanks for this!
Ashley

February 28, 2018 at 4:56 am

Hi Amor, I posted my question about how I pressured my ex and scared him away and now he wont reply to text or phone, you suggested to do another 45 day NC. Do I contact him after and what do I say? Isn’t he going to be like why is she contacting me again? Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, means the world.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 1, 2018 at 10:54 am

Hi Ashley,

Check this one:
How To Properly Start A Conversation With Your Ex After No Contact

Ashley

February 27, 2018 at 4:13 am

My boyfriend and I broke up in October I went into no contact, I contacted him after 60 days and we slowly build rapport, we are long distance 6 hour drive. We ended up spending new years together and did sleep together. He told me that he just wasn’t sure things could go back to how they were we were together for 6 years before he moved and the distance caused a huge issue, i have since then worked on the distance issue like chris suggests, having the means to afford it and time as well as becoming an unforgettable girl. the problem is we were slowly building a relationship and when he went cold I freaked out on him and now he’s totally cut off contact with me. I don’t know what to do because I did all the wrong things like cry, I didn’t beg but I told him I can’t do this hot and cold slow moving relationship because I’m so sure of what I want. ugh I totally regret that because I cried a lot. What do I do now? He still has a lot of my stuff by the way. Do i just cut off contact, do I ask for my stuff back to show him im serious about wanting him figure out what he wants? Another issue during the hot and cold period was he suggested we be friends only, but some days he would tell me he misses me and wants to be with me. Well since the fight now he’s not replying to texts or calls :(. Please help

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 27, 2018 at 2:48 pm

Hi Ashley,

Do nc again for at least 45 days.. if you need your things, you can get them and then take it slow after nc.. don’t sleep with him if you’re not officially back together.

Jaymi

February 26, 2018 at 10:54 pm

Hello Chris,

So my fiance and I broke up about 3 weeks ago. We’ve seen each other weekly since then. He broke up with me and said sorry during it. His reason for the break up – distance. We live approximately an hour apart and he works nights, I usually work days. He says if we can work out more times to see each other then we can get back together and he says he doesn’t care how it’s done as long as he gets to see me more. I’ve asked him how long it’ll take and all he says is don’t rush it. I’ve seen him 2 Saturdays in a row – spent the night with him one Saturday (so we have obviously had sex). And he still calls me babe during regular conversation and called me baby and was talking about one day having kids with me during sex. He’s even admitted that he loves me and isn’t looking for anyone and doesn’t want to. He still texts me and we have regular conversations, nothing has changed since our break up other than the “title” aka fiance. Based upon your 7 signs he’ll come back there’s an EXTREMELY good chance, which makes me hopeful, but he hasn’t budged on his stance. I dont think that there is anyone else cuz he doesnt really have time for anybody unless they’re willing to work with his schedule (I do so daily) plus he can’t keep a secret to save his life. When we got together, he told me that he was actually happy to not have to chase me too much (I was impatient and texted him first a lot). He doesn’t like being the person to reach out, apparently, cuz he’s gotten rejected, and therefore burned, too much in the past… so… what should I do with a guy who shows signs of wanting to come back but doesn’t really like the chase too much? Thanks in advance!

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 27, 2018 at 2:38 pm

HI Jaymi,
do you want to try the nc rule?

Cassy

February 26, 2018 at 5:39 am

I had an on and off relationship with my ex for almost a year. We broke up last january. I was really devastated, i think i have done everything, (good and bad) to have him back. I showered him attention and love and i kinda pleaded. But everytime i showed i love him, and i even told him “im not going to give on u easily”, he would push me away . That went on for almost 2-3 weeks but i eventually stop coz it hurts anymore. I keep crying every night and i even cried everytime i see him. For almost 2 or 3 weeks, we didn’t see each other but last week, we started texting, i initiated the text, acting normal and trying to be civil. But he keeps on asking for sex. I was hurt coz i still love him. I refused a lot of times. But last week went to his place coz i have to get something, he told me he won’t do anything. So i went there, i thought im already okay but all the love and hurt came back after seeing him. He tried to hug me and kiss me and i kept on pushing him back but eventually give in. He said he miss me so much and he still love me. Something happened to us that day, we cuddled and i spent the night there. then i asked him if “are we back together”? He said “no, not now”. I was confused and started crying so hard coz i felt so cheap afterwards. I felt like he just used me for sex. I confronted him about it, and ask him if why we had sex if ur not even planning to commit. I told him i dont want to be used for sex and that i did it coz im emotionally invested and he knows that. He told me that he love me too but he just dont want to commit in a relationship for now. I asked why, he said he still have to focus on his studies and he doesnt want distractions. I was really devastated and cried so hard in front of him that he sees me as a distraction. I told him he shouldn’t have **** me in the first place if he didnt want to come back coz it eventually gave me false hope again and it opened the wounds that are already healing. There’s one instance where he took my phone from me and went to my messages to see if i have new guys but when i asked him if i could see his phone too he said no. That day ended with a fight and drama, he left and kissed me on the forehead while i was angry at him.

Now, i dont know what to do. I know i have to move on but a part of me doesnt want to and still hoping that maybe one of these days he’ll be back. Im not sure if he really lobe me or just miss having sex with me.

Do u think he’ll feel guilty afterwards?
Do u think he’ll come back after the sex, fight and drama?
(Im actually worried, he’ll never come back coz guys dont like drama right?)
What should i do to make him commit if he really love me?
What should i do to make him regret leaving me?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 27, 2018 at 2:20 pm

Hi Cassy,

He might feel guilty but that doesn’t mean he will stop asking to be friends with benefits and no he won’t because you already asked him after and he didn’t get back together with you. Do you want to try the advice above?

cassy

February 26, 2018 at 5:36 am

had an on and off relationship with my ex for almost a year. We broke up last january. I was really devastated, i think i have done everything, (good and bad) to have him back. I showered him attention and love and i kinda pleaded. But everytime i showed i love him, and i even told him “im not going to give on u easily”, he would push me away . That went on for almost 2-3 weeks but i eventually stop coz it hurts anymore. I keep crying every night and i even cried everytime i see him. For almost 2 or 3 weeks, we didn’t see each other but last week, we started texting, i initiated the text, acting normal and trying to be civil. But he keeps on asking for sex. I was hurt coz i still love him. I refused a lot of times. But last week went to his place coz i have to get something, he told me he won’t do anything. So i went there, i thought im already okay but all the love and hurt came back after seeing him. He tried to hug me and kiss me and i kept on pushing him back but eventually give in. He said he miss me so much and he still love me. Something happened to us that day, we cuddled and i spent the night there. then i asked him if “are we back together”? He said “no, not now”. I was confused and started crying so hard coz i felt so cheap afterwards. I felt like he just used me for sex. I confronted him about it, and ask him if why we had sex if ur not even planning to commit. I told him i dont want to be used for sex and that i did it coz im emotionally invested and he knows that. He told me that he love me too but he just dont want to commit in a relationship for now. I asked why, he said he still have to focus on his studies and he doesnt want distractions. I was really devastated and cried so hard in front of him that he sees me as a distraction. I told him he shouldn’t have **** me in the first place if he didnt want to come back coz it eventually gave me false hope again and it opened the wounds that are already healing. There’s one instance where he took my phone from me and went to my messages to see if i have new guys but when i asked him if i could see his phone too he said no. That day ended with a fight and drama, he left and kissed me on the forehead while i was angry at him.

Now, i dont know what to do. I know i have to move on but a part of me doesnt want to and still hoping that maybe one of these days he’ll be back. Im not sure if he really lobe me or just miss having sex with me.

Do u think he’ll feel guilty afterwards?
Do u think he’ll come back after the sex, fight and drama?
(Im actually worried, he’ll never come back coz guys dont like drama right?)
What should i do to make him commit if he really love me?
What should i do to make him regret leaving me?
Alexa

February 22, 2018 at 10:02 pm

I posted a comment about my situation last night. Why was it removed?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 26, 2018 at 12:11 pm

Hi Alexa,

It’s still here.. It just haven’t been approved. Do at least 30 days nc and don’t sleep with him again.. Do you have any other question?

Alexa

February 22, 2018 at 10:00 pm

I posted on here last night. Why was it removed?
Alexa

February 22, 2018 at 6:26 am

My ex-boyfriend broke up with me after ten months. Said he was no longer in love with me but still loved me and wanted to be lifelong friends. We still talked on the phone, texted, and saw each other platonically (at our places or in public). He actually got really sick after the break up, depressed and not taking care of himself, and ended up in the hospital (I was by his side the whole time). Two months later, he admitted he has always had committment issues, but the added issue this time is that he may have to move far away to care for a family member. He asked me if I was seeing anyone and he said he has no intention of seeing any other woman. He even had our picture up in our apartment (although he could have just put it up because I was coming over, I’m not sure). Anyway, we ended up having sex and of course it was phenomenal. He said it had been so long that he wasn’t sure if could even last, but rest assured he did. He said he would call me later that night (he did text me briefly and I responded). We remain FB friends, but we just recently stopped commenting or liking each other’s posts anymore. I still want him back but I have not contacted him since he last texted me five days ago. I plan on going NC (although I plan to post on FB but not comment on his), so I’ve given no indication that I’m affected one way or the other by the sex. (We did say we missed each other, etc. when we had sex and in the end I joked that he used me and he joked back that I used him).
Lily

February 12, 2018 at 2:59 pm

So I ran into my ex of 2 weeks (been together for a year and a half) at a club and he approached me telling me how guilty he feels about the breakup and what he’s done since the breakup (one night stand). I decided to keep this pleasant and told him for us to enjoy as a group. We danced and after a few drinks he kissed me. I had drank too much and took me home and ended up sleeping over – we DID NOT have sex. He did bring up how much he misses me and how happy he was spending time like this and we cuddled and he got us lunch the next day. He suggested that if he could sleep with me, he wouldn’t want to sleep with anyone else (while not having a title) This is my problem – because I won’t sleep with anyone who isn’t my bf. I made sure to keep things positive – how do I turn this into commitment? We were no contact for 2 weeks until this run in.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 16, 2018 at 10:12 am

Hi lily,

Did you tell him that? If yes, what did he say?

Princess

January 30, 2018 at 5:11 am

My ex and I broke up 3 days ago because he doesn’t love me anymore. He gave me time to move on and he still treats me good. In our 1 year relationship, we made love a lot and we were talking earlier and he said we should avoid each other because he don’t want to have sex anymore especially if he will have a new girl friend. At that time, he was already horny and I was like teasing him also and got horny too. So we went into some place private and he said that if something will happen between us, we should avoid each other. I said no because I still want to be with him. And he promised that we will be friends but he said that he will break that promise. Then he teased me and then something happened between us. After it, he said that he will avoid me and I should do the same too. But I can’t do it. I still love him.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 31, 2018 at 5:11 pm

Hi Princess,

That means you’re going to be friends with benefits.

Sarah

January 15, 2018 at 4:58 am

I am 5 days into No Contact and going strong he has sent me messages haven’t opened them. I am serious about this and not wanting to break no contact since I am doing well. Can I still post photos on Facebook or Snapchat, or should I stay off social media completely?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 15, 2018 at 5:35 pm

You should be active in posting… More of posts that just stays there..less of snapchat, fb and ig stories because they disappear after 24 hours..

Sarah

January 12, 2018 at 6:12 pm

Starting no contact I saw him 2 days ago last for a networking event. We walked to our cars together talked then I kissed him and said I had to go home. Was that bad that I intiated to kiss him? I am starting no contact now as of yesterday. Still working out everyday, eating right, spending time with friends, going to work, planning my schedule. So I have a good routine that I am getting into. I still post to snapchat, is that okay to post to social media? He looks at my post I noticed.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 14, 2018 at 10:58 pm

Yup, that means you broke nc..

Rose McHenry

January 10, 2018 at 3:27 am

We broke up 3 yrs ago he broke up siddenly .. i moved away 6 momths later he started text me for 3 yrs i never replied then i came home and text him he “acted ” very nice. like he wanted relationship after 5 months i started hanging his place. Not mostly having sex . Then he really wanted it planned it… he was mean that weekend b4 and i gave into sex sunday am. I have not heard from him sonce its Tuesday Nite. he normally would of texted me ! toally feel conned!!!!!!
Rachel

January 7, 2018 at 11:36 am

So me and my ex broke up almost two weeks ago. We are always on and off. We’ve broken up 3 times already but always seem to find a way back to each other. And we had some trust issues because he believed I had sex with another man when we broke up for 2 months. Because his friends were saying I did. We agreed to stay best friends and we were still close a ever. We got along. But he’d sometimes flirt but I’d shrug it off. I was going thru a hard time so he picked up up to hang with me and he brought me food. And we were watching tv. He ends up putting on porn later and we end up having sex. I’m confused because I’m still in love with him. After that we still acting like best friends and I’m confused.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 9, 2018 at 9:25 pm

Hi Rachel,

don’t sleep with him again.. and do you want to try the nc rule?

Sarah

January 7, 2018 at 7:57 am

I haven’t slept with him since hanging out in the past 3 weeks with him recently, pretty much just us working out and celebrated a friends birthday. I don’t plan on sleeping with him, and I am commited to stop since I want a relationship and I want him to work for me. Is there anything else you can suggest for my situation though? How can I get him to want to see me more? Should I do no contact I think at this point I am willing. I don’t want to sleep with him anymore what other steps should I take?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 9, 2018 at 8:49 pm

That’s very good.. Start nc and start a new routine that you will continue doing after nc while slowly building rapport.. Invest more time in that than him after nc..

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554 thoughts on “How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back If You Slept With Him”