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354 thoughts on “EBR 041: What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Doesn’t Respond To You”

  1. Sammy

    March 13, 2016 at 8:40 pm

    I did no contact.
    He kept telling me he missed me
    I ignored a lot of them
    We had a few chats here and there.
    I was doing OK (it’s been 2 months) but I saw him while I was playing sport. He was there with his friends. When he saw me he left, and his friend came and asked me when we broke up?
    He told me he left because he was highly uncomfortable seeing me.
    Why would a guy be like that?
    It has kinda triggered me off, and I want to text him now.
    I need help, because I really miss him. But don’t want to lose my dignity

    1. Sammy

      March 20, 2016 at 8:00 pm

      But I don’t want to get hurt again, but i really miss him.
      On average he texts me twice a week saying he misses me. I’ll sometimes say it too. Then the convo ends there.
      Both of us know it will be hard to see eachother, so we both avoid eachother. So confused.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 21, 2016 at 8:39 am

      when you love it will really hurt..maybe just weigh what decision will make you more sleep soundly

      knowing you tried but got hurt
      or knowing that instead of trying you’d rather not get hurt

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 15, 2016 at 7:34 am

      it’s ok to text him.. you start connecting to the placr you saw him, let’s say it’s a sports gym.. You can say like,

      “Hey how are you? (common friend) said you had a good game last(at that day), too bad I missed it when I arrived!

  2. Sammy

    March 13, 2016 at 8:40 pm

    I did no contact.
    He kept telling me he missed me
    I ignored a lot of them
    We had a few chats here and there.
    I was doing OK (it’s been 2 months) but I saw him while I was playing sport. He was there with his friends. When he saw me he left, and his friend came and asked me when we broke up?
    He told me he left because he was highly uncomfortable seeing me.
    Why would a guy be like that?
    It has kinda triggered me off, and I want to text him now.
    I need help, because I really miss him. But don’t want to lose my dignity

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 15, 2016 at 7:34 am

      it’s ok to text him.. you start connecting to the placr you saw him, let’s say it’s a sports gym.. You can say like,

      “Hey how are you? (common friend) said you had a good game last(at that day), too bad I missed it when I arrived!

  3. So confused

    March 12, 2016 at 8:57 pm

    Six weeks ago, my boyfriend of 4 years told me we needed to talk. He said that he was sorry but that he didn’t want to do it anymore. He said he only cared about his kids and that he didn’t want to try anymore. He said I deserved better and that he wasn’t treating me right. I was so confused and cried a lot. He tried to hold me but I could barely breathe. I told him how much I cared and eventually even said I hated him. He hurt me so bad. We had fights here and there but nothing major in almost 3 years. He’s going through a custody battle with his ex wife. I know it’s stressful but I’ve always been supportive of his decisions. This decision is hard to accept though. I’ve worked on myself and am ok with who I am and what I am working towards. I reached out to him 3 weeks ago with a good memory but nothing. Then last week to let him know I was ok with his decision and sorry for my actions. No response. anytime pr visually we would fight, he would avoid me because he said I make him give in. I understand that because he does the same to me. I just want to know is there a way to get him to respond to me without me now at this point coming across desperate after so many no responses.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 13, 2016 at 6:49 am

      You have to wait it out…give him more time.. also, if you haven’t done active nc, it’s better to do it

  4. So confused

    March 12, 2016 at 8:57 pm

    Six weeks ago, my boyfriend of 4 years told me we needed to talk. He said that he was sorry but that he didn’t want to do it anymore. He said he only cared about his kids and that he didn’t want to try anymore. He said I deserved better and that he wasn’t treating me right. I was so confused and cried a lot. He tried to hold me but I could barely breathe. I told him how much I cared and eventually even said I hated him. He hurt me so bad. We had fights here and there but nothing major in almost 3 years. He’s going through a custody battle with his ex wife. I know it’s stressful but I’ve always been supportive of his decisions. This decision is hard to accept though. I’ve worked on myself and am ok with who I am and what I am working towards. I reached out to him 3 weeks ago with a good memory but nothing. Then last week to let him know I was ok with his decision and sorry for my actions. No response. anytime pr visually we would fight, he would avoid me because he said I make him give in. I understand that because he does the same to me. I just want to know is there a way to get him to respond to me without me now at this point coming across desperate after so many no responses.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 13, 2016 at 6:49 am

      You have to wait it out…give him more time.. also, if you haven’t done active nc, it’s better to do it

  5. Malia

    March 12, 2016 at 3:55 am

    Amor,
    I tried texting him 1.5 weeks later, his respond was neutral. He would respond and he also said we can be friends, but it seems like he doesn’t like it when i text him. What do you think?

    1. malia

      March 15, 2016 at 2:22 am

      How long do you think i should wait…? Should i do 30 day no contact again?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 15, 2016 at 2:09 pm

      Actually I think you should really stop and try to move on because you’ve tried many times already and it’s clear that he doesn’t want to be back in the relationship and he may even be sensing that that’s what you want..So, that’s why I said, it’s best to let time pass so later on, when both of you have moved on, you can start to be friends again.

    3. Malia

      March 13, 2016 at 12:24 am

      In respond to the first text he just said ” why are you so excited?” “Hi” and the next day i sent another morning text and he replied “morning. Can you stop”. I responded asking why is he being so stubborn, i never did him wrong and i dont understand why we cant be friends”. Then he said we can be friends and he didnt mean it in a mean way. I thought it would be okay to send a morning text since he said we can be friends, but after the 3rd morning text “morning carrot” (our insider) he said ” i dont want to be mean, but you make me want to be”. I dont understand what that meant, but he didnt reply after i asked why. What do you think it mean?

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 13, 2016 at 7:24 am

      Oh, he’s getting annoyed.. that means you have to stop and then later on let time do it’s thing so you can be friends again

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 12, 2016 at 1:34 pm

      hmm what was your text?

  6. Malia

    March 12, 2016 at 3:55 am

    Amor,
    I tried texting him 1.5 weeks later, his respond was neutral. He would respond and he also said we can be friends, but it seems like he doesn’t like it when i text him. What do you think?

    1. malia

      March 15, 2016 at 2:22 am

      How long do you think i should wait…? Should i do 30 day no contact again?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 15, 2016 at 2:09 pm

      Actually I think you should really stop and try to move on because you’ve tried many times already and it’s clear that he doesn’t want to be back in the relationship and he may even be sensing that that’s what you want..So, that’s why I said, it’s best to let time pass so later on, when both of you have moved on, you can start to be friends again.

    3. Malia

      March 13, 2016 at 12:24 am

      In respond to the first text he just said ” why are you so excited?” “Hi” and the next day i sent another morning text and he replied “morning. Can you stop”. I responded asking why is he being so stubborn, i never did him wrong and i dont understand why we cant be friends”. Then he said we can be friends and he didnt mean it in a mean way. I thought it would be okay to send a morning text since he said we can be friends, but after the 3rd morning text “morning carrot” (our insider) he said ” i dont want to be mean, but you make me want to be”. I dont understand what that meant, but he didnt reply after i asked why. What do you think it mean?

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 13, 2016 at 7:24 am

      Oh, he’s getting annoyed.. that means you have to stop and then later on let time do it’s thing so you can be friends again

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 12, 2016 at 1:34 pm

      hmm what was your text?

  7. Cait

    March 9, 2016 at 9:08 am

    So I’ve completed nc with my ex. We both love cars, and that’s what initially brought us together. His parents were very supportive of our relationship. When he broke up with me (due to fighting frequently), I spoke to his parents to give back his things. His mom and dad both cried and they said they’re trying to talk to him to tell him to reconsider.

    So, I recently made contact with him for a leaky tire. He was initially cold with me, but eventually it turned into laughs about the past. How I have a hard time with certain tools and such. So today l, I had massive car problems which had me stuck on the side of the road. He watched the snapchats, but didn’t ask if I was alright. I didn’t expect it , but it still stung.

    He’s the stubborn type, who doesn’t share many emotions with anyone. So what he’s thinking is anyone’s guess. But since the break up, he’s been drinking himself silly and then driving on my insurance. Drinking was a big part of our relationship, and did cause us a lot of fights because of how he behaves when he’s drunk. Despite that, I want him back although, I can’t help but think he doesn’t want me back.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 9, 2016 at 7:50 pm

      Hi Cait,
      if you just started texting . that would be normal..take it slow .build rapport again..don’t confront him..

  8. Cait

    March 9, 2016 at 9:08 am

    So I’ve completed nc with my ex. We both love cars, and that’s what initially brought us together. His parents were very supportive of our relationship. When he broke up with me (due to fighting frequently), I spoke to his parents to give back his things. His mom and dad both cried and they said they’re trying to talk to him to tell him to reconsider.

    So, I recently made contact with him for a leaky tire. He was initially cold with me, but eventually it turned into laughs about the past. How I have a hard time with certain tools and such. So today l, I had massive car problems which had me stuck on the side of the road. He watched the snapchats, but didn’t ask if I was alright. I didn’t expect it , but it still stung.

    He’s the stubborn type, who doesn’t share many emotions with anyone. So what he’s thinking is anyone’s guess. But since the break up, he’s been drinking himself silly and then driving on my insurance. Drinking was a big part of our relationship, and did cause us a lot of fights because of how he behaves when he’s drunk. Despite that, I want him back although, I can’t help but think he doesn’t want me back.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 9, 2016 at 7:50 pm

      Hi Cait,
      if you just started texting . that would be normal..take it slow .build rapport again..don’t confront him..

  9. Lost

    March 6, 2016 at 4:44 am

    Recently , he deleted me from every single social media. I can’t help but to wonder why. I did not even interrupt his life anymore. Why do we have to
    Go up to this extent ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 6, 2016 at 8:11 am

      maybe it’s stop him from checking yoir profiles

  10. Selena

    March 5, 2016 at 9:55 pm

    My ex boyfriend is a doctor. We have been hooking up after we broke up for 5 years. I know it’s a huge mistake and I wish I had learnt that I had been downgraded from girlfriend to booty-call sooner. He is highly intelligent and good looking, so he loves playing mind games with me. I sometimes feel like he leads me on.
    He only contacts me once a year, then we chat for a bit, hook up a few times and then I get emotionally drained so I stop speaking to him. This has been a repetitive pattern for 5 years!
    He contacted me again, I’m hoping this time it would be different. We met up a few times but this time I did not let him kiss me or anything. Unfortunately I did slip up, he came over to my house last week, we cuddled, he started kissing me on my neck and back; and caressing my body. Eventually I started to feel uncomfortable and told him to stop. After that night, he only sends me two texts a day. Sometimes he will not even text me. I don’t act desperate or needy at all. He uses the excuse that he is on call but his texting is bordering on neglect and indifference toward me. How do I rectify this? How do I get him to recommit to me and see me as a respectable woman?
    I was thinking of using the dangling technique, where I flirt with him and lead him to believe we will have sex. When he finally agrees to meet me again, I just won’t pitch up. I won’t even answer his calls to ask me where I am. This will make him see me in a new light since “boys only want love if it’s torture”. Your thoughts?

    1. Selena

      March 9, 2016 at 1:21 pm

      Okay so I find it hard to show him and myself my newfound boundaries when he only sends me one text a day. Or sometimes he will reply to my texts the next day, I know he is a busy doctor but isn’t that ridiculous? I’m not exactly sure what’s the next step. Since that time when he came to my house (please see my first post above) , he has been texting less, he hasn’t flirted. What do I do? I mean one text a day is alarming.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 9, 2016 at 8:20 pm

      I reread your post… either you stop because he clearly just wants sex or you try to do no contact again.. are you both active in social media?

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 6, 2016 at 7:45 am

      Hi Selena,

      yeah, you can try that but always nk your boundaries, as long as he sees you’re not the same as before there’s a chance he will treat you better.. but if not.. walk away

  11. Pink

    March 5, 2016 at 7:45 am

    Hello! My boyfriend & I have been dating for close to 5 years. It was a great relationship with plenty ups and downs. We always worked through our problems together and never gave up on each other.
    However, a few weeks ago, he started being distant/cold and replies my messages really really slowly. When i asked why, he kept saying he don’t know or he is tired (generally tired in his life) with all the commitment he has. Additionally, he revealed that he is losing interest as well, and needed some time to think about the relationship as he’s unsure of the relationship. Then he said we’ll discuss things again after he is back from his trip and after my examinations. We continued talking but he cut off any affection and is treating/talking to me like a normal friend (he ignored me when i said I love you a few times). I decided to give him some space by contacting him minimally the past 2 days. As of today (3days later), he ignored my text. (He might be tired from work, I’m not sure but this has never happened) Should i wait til he contacts me after he is back? Should i wish him a safe flight and to enjoy his trip? I’m very confused now, are we even still together?

  12. Pink

    March 5, 2016 at 7:45 am

    Hello! My boyfriend & I have been dating for close to 5 years. It was a great relationship with plenty ups and downs. We always worked through our problems together and never gave up on each other.
    However, a few weeks ago, he started being distant/cold and replies my messages really really slowly. When i asked why, he kept saying he don’t know or he is tired (generally tired in his life) with all the commitment he has. Additionally, he revealed that he is losing interest as well, and needed some time to think about the relationship as he’s unsure of the relationship. Then he said we’ll discuss things again after he is back from his trip and after my examinations. We continued talking but he cut off any affection and is treating/talking to me like a normal friend (he ignored me when i said I love you a few times). I decided to give him some space by contacting him minimally the past 2 days. As of today (3days later), he ignored my text. (He might be tired from work, I’m not sure but this has never happened) Should i wait til he contacts me after he is back? Should i wish him a safe flight and to enjoy his trip? I’m very confused now, are we even still together?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 5, 2016 at 10:48 am

      Hi Pink,

      don’t push too much..that’s good that you’re giving him space… Yiu should read this blog post too
      How To Prevent A Breakup With Your Boyfriend When You Know It’s Coming

  13. Erika

    March 4, 2016 at 5:15 am

    Hi Amor, I will recap about my ex, as I was talking to you on another thread and cannot find it! My ex broke it off with me 3 December, 2015. Was not ready for a serious relationship like he thought he was, I am the first he had date since his ex left him 16 months ago. Feels guilty spending time with me as it is taking it away from his teenager daughter. Ok say I did the NC for almost 30days it worked. We started texting. So pattern is for the last 9 weeks since texting started, we have seen each other 3 times. (3 weeks apart). This is the pattern, texts, backs off for a few days, I dont respond if he doesn’t respond to my replies, then he texts every day, we go out. It’s like taking to a friend, but we enjoy each other’s company. Then after every “catch up” he backs off for 3 days with no contact. I have noticed the last time we went out (yesterday) he had been engaging me more, actually asked me when I would be home so we could chat. I was surprised. We went out for breakfast yesterday, he paid, I offered but he insisted, then we left he gave me a little peck on the lips (nothing passionate) and said until next time. loved hearing that. I texted him when I got home saying thank you for breakfast I enjoyed seeing him, he replied that he liked it too, I also said the time flew by fast and he said yes it did, time flies when your are having fun. Another positive. Then BAM nothing, I sent a reply to a conversation we were having about his son’s car – no reply. I said goodnight to him some 6 hrs later, no reply. I sent a pic of a walk I was on today he saw it but no reply. This is driving me insane! for 9 weeks I say nothing about getting back together i do not pressure him at all, I am dying to say hey what the heck is happening? So what is your opinion on this? how long do you wait to bring up things, or I am I waiting on him to do it? 9 weeks is longer than when we dated. I’m so sad, I actually like him more and more, in fact I am falling in love with him. Hurts.

    1. Erika

      March 9, 2016 at 3:45 am

      Hi Amor, I am balancing the texting, I wait for him to text me and sometimes I just say hello. We seem to text everyday now. I guess what I really need to know is, am I am to just go with the flow and not mention what our status is? and let him make that move when or if it happens? how long do I keep this up? its killing me on the inside.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 9, 2016 at 7:25 pm

      how is it? is it progressing to being flirty? is the attractikn building up? because if it is, you don’t have to ask.. he will want to go back.. take it slow..transition to calls..and then after calls, transition to meet ups

    3. Erika

      March 5, 2016 at 3:03 am

      Hi Amor. You are so correct! Turning the tables. I think that only happened once, and he was eager to get me to reply and talk to him. He ended up texting me, he was actually busy at work. I do believe him because of the job that he does. I think my imagination was running overtime. In saying that I cannot hang on every word, I want him to be doing that. So …. If I do not reply straight away, let him make the contact first not me I can turn this around. Correct? I read an article on this site about how to keep the conversations going. I can see what I was doing wrong, slipping in things like “this is my new hot tub you can use it one day” is not helping, however he did say “I will be looking forward to that”. Again words are cheap, I need actions. See I am taking note of the podcasts. So this week I’m turning it around, and see what happens. Again though how long do you do this dance? Also if anyone else is reading my letter the No Contact Rule does work! he never wanted to speak to me again, just stick to the advice don’t deviate or you will end up in a mess like me right now!

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 5, 2016 at 10:29 am

      hmmm.. it dependa because there should always be a balance.. give and take

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 4, 2016 at 7:45 am

      Hi Erika,

      basically he’s the one who’s leading you on with what he’s doing.. see now you’re the one falling more and you want to ask him about relationship status which is you should be the one doing what he does.. but that’s ok.. at least you noticed the pattern.. the question is, can you try to turn the tables and do what he’s doing?

  14. Emily

    February 27, 2016 at 10:31 am

    Hi Amor! 😀

    I’ve finished NC and he has replied to each of my messages. Though he’s making it extremely difficult to get past one text a day stage and he keeps dropping out of the conversation after I’ve replied, with no warning. It’s never “Oh i have to go” etc. It’s more along the lines of him not replying at all, which is slightly frustrating. Each of the messages he sends include some sort of I miss you, or I’m thinking about you etc. While mine are all fairly light and upbeat. They also include all things he would find interesting or are about him. I don’t want to say things I’m not ready to say.

    So I’m having difficulty in being the one in control of the conversations and when to end them. He also leaves it for at least 24hrs between some messages. Which is making it difficult to try and build any sort of rapport.

    What can I do to get him to chase me, and to regain control of the conversations? Any other advice would be great! 😀 x

    1. Emily

      February 28, 2016 at 11:54 am

      Ah! Okay thank you! I’ll be a bit more specific, and give him new information from now on 😀

    2. Emily

      February 27, 2016 at 1:05 pm

      Well i asked him about a tv show. He replies and says he doesn’t watch it anymore as its not the same without me. That he’s been thinking of me all the time. But then I’ll reply an hour later, and try to keep it light and say “I hope I haven’t ruined it for you! Have you seen xxxx” 🙂 I try to keep it light because in the past I’ve been very open about how I’ve felt and he’s simply ignored me and said I was overemotional. I’m stil a little hurt and not ready to declare my undying love for him etc. It’s going to take a lot of time for us both to be ready to speak to each other like that. Then he mentioned his tournament that he won, and I asked him how it went (he’s mentioned it twice now, but each time I ask he never replies).
      So I feel like I’m stuck because I can’t seem to keep a conversation going with him. He’s also extremely introverted and won’t talk on the phone with me.

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 28, 2016 at 7:48 am

      hmm.. okay, no offense, of that’s really how it went, it’s a bit general.. For example, if he’s watching game of thrones, and he said he doesn’t watch it anymore, that’s okay… The important thing is he used to be so interested that and could still be if you give value for it..
      For example, I would have said,

      “Oh, I saw a video that the story is actually inspired by true story of royal famaily in history. Almost the same plot, without the magic of course! haha! I was going to ask if you already knew that. And of you knew more details about it. did you?”

      Kinda like that.. there’s value because if he doesn’t know about it, he might ask who was the family and what really happened

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 27, 2016 at 12:35 pm

      Hi Emily,

      so you mean you send your first texy, and then the reply would be ” i miss you” and then you send your second text and then he doesn’t reply?

  15. Jamie

    February 27, 2016 at 5:25 am

    Hello

    Your website is very interesting. I hope you are able to help me. My friend of a few years told me he was interested but things didn’t work out. He then started distancing himself and we got into a lot of arguments. Things didn’t end well and I begged to be friends but he wasn’t interested in doing that anymore and he told me to stop contacting him. So i sent him a long message about what I thought about his behaviour. Next time when I messaged a month later and saw him he seemed a bit more receptive to talking. SO i tried again a few weeks later but he wouldn’t respond to some messages. I lost my cool after a few times of this repeated behaviour and told him what I thought about his behaviour which he didn’t take kindly. I asked to start fresh but he didn’t give a clear response but said if I was amicable he would be as well. This was just recently. We had another convo the next day which didn’t end too well in text and then phone where he was upset and threatened to block me. I sent an apology for my part but told him I didn’t appreciate his behaviour. I didn’t get a response until a few days later where he apologized for his behaviour. I followed up by saying I accepted and also send a positive update about his friends which he didn’t respond to. It really upset me again bec I accepted the apology and tried to go in a positive direction but he is not willing to talk. I am confused bec I though he was past things after the apology? I really don’t think he is avoiding me bec of any residual feelings he already told me he was past them a while ago so then I am not sure why he refuses to be friends? what should I do Next other than the No contact rule? Do you think there is still any hope? Is it a good idea to delete him off facebook? It has been 5 months since this started. thank you for your help.

    1. Jamie

      March 12, 2016 at 6:07 am

      Amore, I forgot to ask you, I had bought him a birthday gift last year for his birthday but never gave it to him because we parted ways. Do I not give it to him anymore, or give it to our mutual friend to pass it on? I feel like its wasted but dont wanna look needy either.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 12, 2016 at 3:02 pm

      You’re welcome.. hmm better not, since you’re also going to do nc..

    3. Jamie

      March 12, 2016 at 5:35 am

      Thanks Amore. you’re awesome. I’ll let you know how it goes:)

    4. Jamie

      March 11, 2016 at 5:30 am

      Thank you so much Amore. I just wasn’t sure if No contact works a few months after we parted ways? Bec the website does mention it loses its effect after a little while and I have not contacted about a month and half back in December and he was more receptive after that but went back to being distant when I got back in contact in Jan and then this recent blow up.

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 11, 2016 at 11:46 am

      It does lose it’s effect if it’s consecutive and repetitive because he may see it as a pattern..But since it’s only you’re second, it’ll still work..

    6. Jamie

      March 10, 2016 at 6:13 am

      Thank You Amor. I have stopped contacting him. 2 questions.
      How long should I not contact him for?
      Should I delete him off Facebook as well? I don’t want to come across as petty but I really need him to get the message as well that his behaviour is not okay. Or would not contacting him at all accomplish that?

    7. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 10, 2016 at 11:40 pm

      I think you need to do it for a month and be really active with other things and posting it, so he can you’re moving on.. don’t put a caption that related anything to the breakup or the relationship… so that means don’t delete him in fb

    8. Jamie

      March 8, 2016 at 1:03 am

      Hi Amor

      thank you for your quick response. Which actions are you referring to? Do you mean he is not yet over his feelings that’s why he is acting this way? or do you mean his actions in terms of the apology and he hasn’t forgiven me?

      I know when I contacted him 2 months ago, he asked me about a good looking girl in one of the pictures which was puzzling to me and thought he might not have recovered. Am I correct in that assumption? I haven’t contacted since my last interaction. should I just continue with the no contact then and for how long? I really think I have tried a lot and don’t want to come across as needy. Thank you for your help as always.

    9. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 9, 2016 at 10:20 am

      I think he really needs space.. He apologized because of whay he said but he still sees your actions as getting him back.. so, he doesn’t want to talk…

    10. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 27, 2016 at 12:17 pm

      Hi Jamie,

      Actions speak louder than words.. I think you have to give him more time and space to heal

  16. Sabrina

    February 25, 2016 at 5:28 pm

    PLEASE ANSWER!!
    PLEASE HELP ADVICE NEEDED

    Hi Amor/Chris,

    My boyfriend broke up w me around last Christmas, we were in a LDR and he said he had lost feelings, but we hadn’t seen eachother for months. I did no contact for 30 days, and he only messaged me once during NC which I didn’t answer. Once the 30 days were up, I texted him and things were going good, he responds positively and quickly the only thing is he never texts me first, it’s always me. So I text him every now and then, maybe once everyone one or two weeks because I don’t want to be a gnat. He is a college athlete and he is coming to town to play this weekend, I would really love to go watch him play, just as friends for now and show support. How do I get him to invite me to watch him with out being weird, or how should I bring it up? Is this a bad idea? I also want too because I’ve lost 15 pounds since the breakup and my acne is totally clear now and I would feel 10x more confident if I saw him in person now, I kinda want him to see how much better I am inside and out now after working on my self during NC.

    thank you so much for your time!

    1. Sabrina

      February 26, 2016 at 2:58 pm

      Hi Amor!

      (Sabrina continued)

      Yes I always post on snapchat me doing fun activities with my friends and he is always looking at my stories. I was texting him once and explaining a long story and asked if I can just call him and he said that would of been fine but he was out at a dinner and wouldn’t be able to hear me but he urged me to continue the story through text. Since this was a LDR and he lives five hours away, I probably won’t see him again till the summer, that’s why I wanted to try for this weekend. Do I still just stay texting? I prefer not that much time to go by

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 27, 2016 at 7:23 am

      hmmm yeah ok… I think you’re right..grab the opportunity.. why not buod rapport through trmext before the event and then just casually say, “Hey! Good luck! I’ll watch! Gonna bring my #1 thumb glove hahaha lol!”

      Okay, that’s a bit corny! hahahaha! but something like that.. wih humor or make it light like,

      “I’ll be one more supporter in the bleachers for ya! Good luck!”

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 26, 2016 at 7:32 am

      Hi Sabrina,

      The purpose of texts is to build enough rapport and attraction that leads to calls, the calls leads to meet ups.. So, work on the texts for now.. As to your improvement, have you posted recent activities?

      These blog posts can help you decide what and how to text

      Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

      EBR 022- How To Text Your Ex Boyfriend

      Using Text Messages To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

  17. MALIA

    February 23, 2016 at 4:29 am

    Hey Amor,
    I took your advice and tried 1-2 text with the initial text, got a positive response! The next day i sent him a picture of something we thought was funny in the past, but he didn’t reply. Later that same day, i accidentally texted him what was meant for a friend. The text only said what floor i was in of a building and he replied with “?”…. i answered him with “wc…..” and he replied ” wtf are you saying”. He sounded like he was angry with me and he has never texted/ spoke to me like that before. Do you think he is still mad at me? i was the one who broke it off because he made me feel insecure and i didnt want to be with someone i can’t trust. I do regret my decision. Do you think i should just wait for him to contact me or should i give him a little more space and contact him in a week or so?

    1. Malia

      March 1, 2016 at 5:29 am

      Hii Amor,
      I sent him a text telling him we should watch this tv show together and to let me know if he would like to watch it together in the future, but he never replied, its been 3 days. What do you think? This might be a little off topic, but even though i cannot get back with him, i still want him back as a friend. What can i say to let him know i want to be his friend with no other intentions? (Will give him more space before i message him again… maybe 2-4 weeks) please tell me what i can say! Thanks a bunch!

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 1, 2016 at 3:54 pm

      Actuallu it’s the same tactic at first..because after no contact you aim to be friends first, and then work on being flirty friendly to build attractio

    3. MALIA

      February 25, 2016 at 5:32 am

      Amor, yes i told him it was a wrong chat and it wasn’t for him. He only reply to my initial text messages and i know he read the other messages i sent him, but chose to ignore it. I tried to keep the text messages interesting and stay away from being negative. I am actually thinking about sending him one last text that gives him an option to text me back or just leave it as it is. We used to have movie night once a week; should i send a suggestion text…. like a movie over skype we can watch together in the future? if he say ” NO” or ignore my text, i think it’s time for me to give up on trying to get him back? or is there anything else i can do? Please get back to me. Thanks!!!!

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 25, 2016 at 1:45 pm

      that’s actually a good idea

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 24, 2016 at 6:23 am

      dod you tell him it was not meant for him?

  18. Lost

    February 22, 2016 at 6:34 pm

    I tried to be emotionally stronger and independent now. Trying to pick up some cooking skills and had been hanging out a lot more with friends. But how is he gonna see my changes when both of them had already cut all sorts of connections with me

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 23, 2016 at 1:51 pm

      Then do this more for yourself.. because that’s how it should really be.. besides we’re not sure if he really doesn’t check your profiles

  19. PLS HELP THANKS

    February 21, 2016 at 11:13 pm

    Hi few weeks ago I commented.. under ‘PLS HELP’
    This is a new update. hope you can reply me .
    .
    I am so sorry . I regret my mistakes .
    I hope you can give me a response … please help me I really appreciate your words.
    2 months ago….. my bf broke up with me and I committed all the deadly sins shortly after and I continuously begg
    .
    I managed to finish no contact for about 1 month …. and NC is now over . and we texted and met up..
    The initial text response was awesome ……
    Then slowly after he starts to text coldly… maybe its because that I became abit desperate as I slowly knew he have been going clubbing so many times now .
    .
    Just now … I slept with him and had sex which I truly regret after. Because when he was bathing.. I check on his phone and realise he was deeply in love and crazy over a new girl!!!!#### and was dating her…… I didn’t know at all…….nobody told me anything. I feel so upset.
    .
    And
    He got 3 close female best friend…
    And in all 3 separate conversation with them….. my EX BOYFRIEND was telling them that he keeps on missing this new girl ….and he cannot stop thinking about her right now. He mentioned that he and her felt” together” and he really misses her after each dating … and also said he have no more feelings for me anymore.
    .
    Now I feel like I just force him to text me, meet me, and have sex..I feel I am being cheated and used……. and nobody knows that I found out that he has a new girl..
    ***What exactly I should do right now ????? ****Please help me.
    Should I just disappear into the thin air ?????
    I feel so sad I feel like dying.
    I think he met the new girl 3 weeks before my NC ends ….. he is dating that girl and at the same time texting me after the NC …… I saw his conversation with his best friend and felt that he texted me because he was bored .. 1st day after NC .. he texted his female friend saying that I am replying so slow and he doesn’t likes to wait ! He said its different from the past and no longer the same and feel maybe we are unsuitable ….. about 1 week after NC our text increases and he started to turn cold ….
    He told his friend” I am still the same clingy and never changed””
    .
    And he is meeting is female friends and the NEW girl so often !!! And he is not willing to spend more time with him . His friends also encourage them to be together because the girl is HOT AND RICH.
    .
    I regret having sex with him as he is now crazily in love with a new girl…….. the new girl actually has a boyfriend and told my EXBOYFRIEND that she is willing to break up with his current one and be together with him……my exboyfriend also opened up to her and told the new girl why me and him broke up.
    I’m back to day 1 of heart break and its killing me double to found out that he was texting so many people and telling them that he misses the NEW girl AND was askingfor advice because the girl isn’t responding.. they actually went out a few times and my exboyfriend was all over her ….
    I really feel ashamed of myself. And I really need advice.
    .
    What should I do right now ?
    He is totally crazy over her in a short span and I feel so horrible right now .
    Nobidy told me any truth. I found out after that.
    Should I just disappear into thin air and stop contacting them ? Or should I confront him about this issue??? I’m so jealous and mad

  20. PLS HELP THANKS

    February 21, 2016 at 11:13 pm

    Hi few weeks ago I commented.. under ‘PLS HELP’
    This is a new update. hope you can reply me .
    .
    I am so sorry . I regret my mistakes .
    I hope you can give me a response … please help me I really appreciate your words.
    2 months ago….. my bf broke up with me and I committed all the deadly sins shortly after and I continuously begg
    .
    I managed to finish no contact for about 1 month …. and NC is now over . and we texted and met up..
    The initial text response was awesome ……
    Then slowly after he starts to text coldly… maybe its because that I became abit desperate as I slowly knew he have been going clubbing so many times now .
    .
    Just now … I slept with him and had sex which I truly regret after. Because when he was bathing.. I check on his phone and realise he was deeply in love and crazy over a new girl!!!!#### and was dating her…… I didn’t know at all…….nobody told me anything. I feel so upset.
    .
    And
    He got 3 close female best friend…
    And in all 3 separate conversation with them….. my EX BOYFRIEND was telling them that he keeps on missing this new girl ….and he cannot stop thinking about her right now. He mentioned that he and her felt” together” and he really misses her after each dating … and also said he have no more feelings for me anymore.
    .
    Now I feel like I just force him to text me, meet me, and have sex..I feel I am being cheated and used……. and nobody knows that I found out that he has a new girl..
    ***What exactly I should do right now ????? ****Please help me.
    Should I just disappear into the thin air ?????
    I feel so sad I feel like dying.
    I think he met the new girl 3 weeks before my NC ends ….. he is dating that girl and at the same time texting me after the NC …… I saw his conversation with his best friend and felt that he texted me because he was bored .. 1st day after NC .. he texted his female friend saying that I am replying so slow and he doesn’t likes to wait ! He said its different from the past and no longer the same and feel maybe we are unsuitable ….. about 1 week after NC our text increases and he started to turn cold ….
    He told his friend” I am still the same clingy and never changed””
    .
    And he is meeting is female friends and the NEW girl so often !!! And he is not willing to spend more time with him . His friends also encourage them to be together because the girl is HOT AND RICH.
    .
    I regret having sex with him as he is now crazily in love with a new girl…….. the new girl actually has a boyfriend and told my EXBOYFRIEND that she is willing to break up with his current one and be together with him……my exboyfriend also opened up to her and told the new girl why me and him broke up.
    I’m back to day 1 of heart break and its killing me double to found out that he was texting so many people and telling them that he misses the NEW girl AND was askingfor advice because the girl isn’t responding.. they actually went out a few times and my exboyfriend was all over her ….
    I really feel ashamed of myself. And I really need advice.
    .
    What should I do right now ?
    He is totally crazy over her in a short span and I feel so horrible right now .
    Nobidy told me any truth. I found out after that.
    Should I just disappear into thin air and stop contacting them ? Or should I confront him about this issue??? I’m so jealous and mad

    1. Kendall

      February 27, 2016 at 1:16 am

      Sorry to hear this. This is why I don’t subscribe to all this gimmick of trying to get your ex-boyfriend back. The truth of the matter is your boyfriend and u broke off for a reason. That’s what u need to work on within yourself. If he broke up with u, u must respect this because there are forces at work i.e. good reasons he feels u are unsuitable with him and if u broke up with him, stay strong and work on being happy on your own. Trust me, someone better will find u. U must work on your self esteem in the long run. Don’t let a human being like u make u feel bad or worthless. U are beautiful and powerful as a woman. Love.

    2. PLS HELP THANKS

      February 22, 2016 at 4:29 am

      I found out he’s been talking BAD about me to all his friends…. today I found out he has been saying so much horrible things about me.
      It’s so shocking that he changed within 2 months and I’m so damn hurt

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 23, 2016 at 7:36 am

      Don’t confront him.. and also stop the sex.. they’re also in honeymoon phase, so if you confront him, you would just confirm your image in his mind…

    4. PLS HELP THANKS

      February 22, 2016 at 12:28 am

      He is already in love with the new girl…
      Should I just disappeared into the thin air ???
      I feel I’m being used and cheated and manipulate by him !!!!

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