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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
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The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
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Post categories
Meeran
September 30, 2016 at 3:33 pm
Having come across several sources, I have noticed that posting on social media post break-up is a common strategy. Given the now increasingly frequent advice regarding this however, I wonder if it has lost its effectiveness? Especially if the ex in question is aware this is a ploy to get him/her jealous? What are your thoughts on this? And how would you counter this?
Meeran
October 20, 2016 at 3:44 pm
He’s mentioned it before as a strategy people use to make their exes jealous (I think he was making a generalisation). I don’t think he was referencing me because I didn’t employ that strategy until we broke up months after. It just dawned on me recently that he’s made this observation in the past so I wonder if it’s still effective.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 22, 2016 at 11:33 am
ah, yeah it’s still effective.. especially if it’s really something that’s normal to post like going out with friends, what activity you’re doing, etc..
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 1, 2016 at 3:56 pm
Hi Meeran,
what do you mean that he is aware? Did you do that before to get him back?
Rylee
September 27, 2016 at 5:39 pm
We officially broke up Friday but talked yesterday so i am starting NC today. I’m so happy i found this site. We dated for 4 and a half years but decided we felt as though it was comfort and we needed to “find ourselves” since we started dating so young (freshman in high school now we are sophomores in college) (thats what he said) but I don’t see myself with anyone else. Anyway, I am wondering if I should not post anything for a while on social media (mainy instagram) so he wonders how i’m doing?? or how long should I wait to post anything?? I can’t tell if its better to just go on a social media cleanse and make him wonder or to post something… Also his birthday is in 2 weeks and It’ll be the 6th birthday I’ve known him for so not saying anything to him will be so hard, I feel like it will make it worse!!
ps. just writing all that made me feel a little better h
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 28, 2016 at 6:12 pm
Hi Rylee,
try just one week of being silent in social media, and then be active again. Check this one about birthdays during the no contact rule:
EBR 057: Birthdays And The No Contact Rule
Confusion
September 15, 2016 at 2:00 pm
Ugh I’m so confused. Did my NC period, he was texting me like crazy. But we have mutual friends and last weekend everyone was out celebrating a friends bday. I talked on the phone at one point w one of my friends Chris, I could feel him watching me the whole time, wondering who I was laughing w on the phone. Later when I walked home, he said “be safe” and then I posted a photo Sunday on Instagram, he liked it immediately but hasn’t liked anything since or reached out to me since. There were multiple times during the night we all hung out that I felt like he was trying to emotionally connect to him, I listened but kept him brief. Not sure what he’s feeling now or if he still cares.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 17, 2016 at 2:47 pm
Hi Confusion,
those are good signs.. just don’t rush it.. It looks like he’s missing you.
Zoe
September 8, 2016 at 3:37 pm
What do I do if my ex-boyfriend unfollowed me on instagram and facebook? He said he needed space a week earlier, but then I realized he went and contact his ex-girlfriend, probably wanting to get back with her. But she made it clear that she must move on and do not want to get back together. Then a few days after, he first unfollowed his exgirlfriend, ad then he unfollowed me along with some other people. What do I do now if I want him back?
Zoe
September 9, 2016 at 4:47 pm
Yes, It’s almost a week I got in the no contact rule. He still posts everyday quotes of the bible to me everyday though. However, I can’t imagine why he decided to cut down almost all the connections between us.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 9, 2016 at 3:39 pm
Hi Zoe,
nothing.. and are you going to do the no contact rule? Listen to this one: EBR 048: My Ex Boyfriend Unfriended Me On Facebook…. What Does It Mean?
Chloe
September 1, 2016 at 1:05 am
My ex fiance never got jealous.. Like i told him my ex texted me and he asked me if when you guys are going to hang out.. I was like what the heck… He said i can meet but no touching. I told him deep conversation can be more dangerous than touching. Then he said “you are right”… And he said I can get a drink from other guys at a bar. But no touching… How can I make him jealous? Even if he sees the picture of me with other guys he would think they are just her friends…
Chloe
September 5, 2016 at 4:31 am
My friend found out he has a girl now.. (My friend is still friends on facebook) So he blocked me everywhere not to see it.
Be broke off the engagement a week before wedding day becuase we fought a lot and he got scared if we will divorce over fighting… It was 3 weeks ago.. And last contact was 2weeks ago.. And now he is dating a girl… We had been together for 6months.. But we were engaged and broke off and then meet a girl in 2 weeks..
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 6, 2016 at 9:58 am
that might be a rebound.. stay focused in improving yourself now.. so if he checks he will think you have changed
Chloe
September 4, 2016 at 8:44 am
It has been 2weeks of NC but he deleted his instagram account and made a new one, he blocked me on facebook(even though we were not friends on fb), and deleted me on snapchat… Instread of missing me or contacting me, he deleted me on all social media… I guess he blocked me on text message too… What to do now?? I am so lost….
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 4, 2016 at 4:22 pm
Now, I think he’s getting jealous.. he didnt expect you to change.. dont apologize.. you didnt mention why you broke up. Why?
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 1, 2016 at 1:31 pm
Just continue being active in social media.. When you’re back to talking and you’ve built enough rapport again, then that’s the time you can apologize.. and just continue posting too.. you’ll never know what he really thinks about especially now that you’re not talking to each other.
Anna
July 14, 2016 at 2:00 pm
I was dating a guy for a while, things ended badly (he dumped me for someone else) and then things ended badly for him (she dumped him). Months later, he got back in touch and apologized for how he’d acted. No talk of getting back together, but I think he’s not interested in any relationship right now. We made up and gradually started talking again and he re-friended me on FB. For a while, he liked most of my pictures and some posts, and I would occasionally like his. He’s not a Facebook nut, so he’s only moderately active and doesn’t post much. All of a sudden though, in the past few weeks, I’ve noticed that he doesn’t like anything I post. We haven’t had a fight and I can still see that he likes other things. He still texts me, but not as much as when we first made up. Not sure if any of this means anything.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 14, 2016 at 8:20 pm
Hi Anna,
you said he’s not a big fb user, I think that’s normal now that he doesn’t like most of your posts anymore because it would seem like he’s too keen on you
Linda
July 6, 2016 at 2:03 pm
No, I can’t still text him. I also deleted his phone number to try to avoid any form of communication with him. His number isn’t blocked on my phone, though. I don’t know if I should break NC, just to friend him and then re-start or wait until NC is over and then do so. I know part of it is making sure they see you on social media, so I’m not sure how to go forward from here.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 7, 2016 at 1:23 pm
nope just continue being active with your life and in social media. He can still check your profile through a different account, so contnue to be active
Cee
July 6, 2016 at 2:42 am
my ex watches allll my snaps everyday and even posts random stuff to get my attention even though he doesnt have friends on sc. Is he possibly missing me? he even messaged me something really random after weeks of not talking.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 6, 2016 at 9:39 am
Hi Cee,
yes, looks like it
Linda
July 6, 2016 at 1:37 am
What if when establishing the no contact rule, I decided to remove my exes presence completely from my life (i.e. unfollowing him on everything, blocking him, unfriending him). He reiterated consistently that he wanted to remain friends directly after the break up, and decided to take a “break” from the relationship (which he ended). After the failed break, I tried to remove everything to avoid Facebook stalking or any form of contact. How do I move forward from that? Do I just refriend him once the no contact period is over?
Linda
July 6, 2016 at 1:12 pm
No, I also deleted his phone number. I knew if I didn’t, I’d reach out again. It isn’t blocked though, so if he tries to reach out to me, he can. Facebook would be the only feasible way I could reach out at this point.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 7, 2016 at 1:23 pm
nope just continue being active with your life and in social media. He can still check your profile through a different account, so contnue to be active
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 6, 2016 at 9:36 am
Hi Linda,
that’s just on social media right? you can still text him?
Confused girl...
July 5, 2016 at 10:44 pm
Wait what?!? Watching snapchat stories counts as breaking NC?! Luckily he hasn’t posted any…he hardly posts at all to be honest. I posted one 4 days ago and he watched every single one of them…my ex isn’t a HUGE social media person.He doesn’t hardly post but he is a HUGE Facebook stalker. So I know without a doubt he is constantly checking my profile…Is it my best benefit to post a lot of pictures of me with friends? Or in this case do you think it’s best to not post anything so everyday he searches or checks for my posts there is nothing there….? I mean I guess I’m not 100% sure he’s searching my profile but he did our whole relationship to me and everyone else. He stalks everyone hardcore….
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 6, 2016 at 9:17 am
it’s ok if he’s the one viewing..but avoid watching his…yes, be active in posting in social media
Nora
July 4, 2016 at 10:02 am
My bf broke up with me after 2 years of dating luckily i stumbled by Chris’s website. I bought the book only yesterday and I am half way there, we broke up exactly a month ago, I didnt contact him, except for one time asking him to unsave the pics he saved on his snapchat messages. I am going really strong this time (no begging no making MAJOR efforts to get him back)I understand that I have to restart the NC. I decided not to block him on Whatsapp nor snapchat out of maturity tbh. He used to watch my snaps, now, he watches only one snap then leave the rest, as if he opened the snap by accident. he just stopped.
I have 2 more weeks of the NC Rule. what shall i do? Shall i delete/block him or just simply continue with what I am doing?
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 4, 2016 at 10:13 pm
Hi Nora,
be very active in improving yourself physically, emotionally and socially
Theresa
July 3, 2016 at 1:57 am
So things with me ex haven’t turned out great. Long story short is he broke up with me 3 months ago. I applied 30 NC, and then reconnected. But he ended up just leading me on and played me because he began seeing another girl after we started talking/seeing each other. He turned into quit the jerk towards me and we got in several fights and now we aren’t on speaking terms at the moment. I kept acting friendly etc. and tried to continue being in his life but he pushed me out and started being rude to me and ignored me completely. He is still seeing this girl now. He claims they aren’t bf/gf. I am open to friendship with him but he cut me off and is ignoring me. I would text him when I’d hear something good happened to him and he;d ignore me. Anyways I am now restarting another NC period as of this week, but we haven’t seen each other in a month. He clearly has cut me out and wants nothing to do with me. My question is why did he like my facebook picture I posted last week? A picture of myself with my friend enjoying the outdoors. I don’t understand. He refuses to continue a friendship with me, he basically blocked me out of his life and he does that? We aren’t friends anymore. As much as I want that he made it so we aren’t by the way he suddenly treated me. I don’t understand. Any insight would be helpful 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 4, 2016 at 6:34 pm
Hi theresa,
let’s say ge liked that because ge wanted you to move on..continue the acrivities.you started during nc even after it and while reconnecting with him.and make the most of nc to really have your own life and establishing to be the ungettable girl
Karen
June 26, 2016 at 9:03 pm
Posted a nice picture on igram and ex 2 unfollowed me. Broke up 3 weeks. Why would he do this?
MK
June 11, 2016 at 9:30 am
My ex watches most if not all of my Snapchat stories. He rarely used Snapchat while we were dating, but now he adds things to his story daily. Does watching his stories break the no contact rule?
MK
June 17, 2016 at 5:07 am
Shoot. Well my 30 days of no contact ends in several days, and I’ve been keeping up with what he’s been posting on snapchat, so he obviously knows I’ve been checking up on him. Should I extend the no contact for a little longer/start over?
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 18, 2016 at 3:45 pm
yeah..it’s a form of breaking nc because he knows you’re following his story.. I think you can just extend for a week but don’t check his stories anymore
lisa
June 9, 2016 at 7:23 pm
As far as social media, as a part of the ” no contact rule” do you not like his posts, watch his snap chats, no facebook liking, or do you just be yourself and if you like the photo like it?
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 15, 2016 at 11:12 am
you’re not allowed to check his profile during no contact too to help you focus on your healing.
lisa
June 9, 2016 at 7:24 pm
sorry I thought my previous comment was deleted.
mc
June 9, 2016 at 6:29 pm
I’m not sure when my ex boyfriend stopped following me on instagram, but I recently put a pretty picture up of me. (3 days ago) Today out of curiosity I noticed he wasn’t following me anymore. Is that a bad sign? I am in NC and have no desire to break it right now. We dated for 5+ years and he broke up with me a month ago, I’m surprised he stopped following me so fast.
Hush
June 7, 2016 at 8:27 pm
My bf broke up with me 3 weeks ago. We dated for 4 1/2 years. I’ve been in NC for 21 days now. He hasn’t contacted me. Am I allowed to look at his Snapchat stories or is that breaking NC? Also, I went to a comedy club with two of his closest guy friends, whom I am also really good friends with, and posted pictures on social media. We met a famous comedian that my ex somewhat likes. I invited his friends because they really like the comedian. Was going with his friends and posting those pictures a bad idea or..?
Hush
June 7, 2016 at 8:32 pm
Oh, and he keeps up with what I post on Snapchat for the most part. I’m worried that posting all of that may have backfired for me.
christine van gorp
June 3, 2016 at 1:39 pm
heyy
me and my ex boyfriend broke up a week ago, we were dating for 2 months almost three. we broke up because he said he was confused with his feelings and he became bipolar for a week. we study together and we were fine when i was there happy as ever and i left home and we were fine for 2 days then he said his feeling were different then when we first started dating. i think he felt that i was taking him for granted which i didn’t know and i understand now why he felt like that. so i offered to try and see how it goes and he agreed but he continued being dry and then nice then dry. so after a few days he said he need space, so since i was going to mexico for the week i offered to not talk while i was there then when i was back home to talk a lil and since in a week from today i was supposed to go to ny and visit him and my said when i went to go to lunch or dinner since you don’t know what you feel till you see them. he agreed we said our goodbyes and after 6 hours he texted me saying he missed me but i didn’t answer till i went to sleep and said i missed him too then i thought i was good then we got into a fight again and he wanted space again after saying he didn’t need it, throw out the week before breaking up we fought a lot and i was emotional and we both crossed lines we shouldn’t have. but he said he did still love me and missed me so we too space the next day he was boarding for NY and he sent me a message saying he wanted to break up to stop hurting me because he knew our ups and downs were affecting me and he was sorry but he thinks it the best for now since he needs to be honest with his feelings so we broke up. we fought the next day when he posted a pic with a girl and she commented a bunch of hearts but he claims their just friends and i believe him. he deleted all the pics with me from instagram and claims he did that because he got drunk and had a moment. then we stopped talking for a week so far but every picture i post he likes he checks all my snapchats and likes so posts on fb. today i was checking his fb like normal exs do but he untagged himself from all the pic i posted of both of so i was hurt and unfriended him on fb and blocked then unblocked him on instagram so he wouldn’t follow me anymore which was dumb but i was mad. but my instagram is public and so is his and he still has me on snapchat. so in a week from today i will be going to NY with my cousin and my question is what is your advice when i go? why does he like and check my instagram and snapchat? how do i fix things? and ow do i get him back when currently were not on speaking terms?
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 12, 2016 at 10:46 am
Hi Christine,
you should start no contact process, did you?
Apprehension of social media
June 1, 2016 at 11:41 pm
As I was reading this I understand and respect the idea behind it. My barrier is both of us have Facebook, but almost NEVER use it. I log in so often I forget my login information. I might only log in if I have friends who are traveling or living internationally to stay in touch, but I’ve NEVER made a post or posted anything on Facebook so if I started doing it out of the blue: a- I feel would just be awkward and would not only confuse myself, him, but my friends b- We know each other because of mutual friends. I have been hanging out with the mutual friends, but haven’t been attending all the outings to allow him the opportunity to socialize with them because that group of friends are his friends because he is so introverted so I still get out with my other friends as well (but know he hasn’t been getting out as often since the break and it genuinely concerns me and he was the one that broke up with me). I don’t talk about him/us with mutual friends just out of respect of the mutual friends and not wanting to drag them into it, and I know he is the same way (very private). I could go into further details regarding the whole situation, but don’t feel this post is the most appropriate to get into that. But having said that, I wish there was a way to somehow utilize the concept behind this post/lesson without actually using facebook or dragging mutual friends into things.
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 12, 2016 at 3:55 am
Hi Unique,
sorry for the late reply.. You said you don’t use much of the social media but you have common friends and you avoided your outings with them for him but currently, you’re broken up for three months? So, are you still friends with your mutual friends because I think it’s time you start going out with them. That can be your way of slowly reconnecting with him and I think you shouldn’t talk about the relationship right away.
Gene
May 31, 2016 at 8:30 am
It’s almost a month since my boyfriend for 2 years and i broke up. I tried saving the relationship even went to the point of begging and flooding him with calls and text. He said he needed time and space and he needs to find himself. He always post on snapchat that he is hanging out with his friends, drinking. Okay so i respect his decision after realizing things that yeah i’ve been acting too clingy and i dont want him to think of me that way, so in my part i also need to divert this loneliness inside of me. I started hanging out with my friends and also met new people. I also post on snapchat that i am also having fun. He views my posts, even liked them in twitter. He started looking for me and asking my friends where i am and how am i. I also tried no contact but eventually failed bc i cant stop myself for grabbing the opportunity. However, when i stopped chasing him he began saying things that he loves me, dont forget me and he misses me. And when i started pursuing him, he become distant and full of pride. I dont get it, what should i do? I thought he need time and space? Yet when i give that space to him he draws near me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 31, 2016 at 8:14 pm
Hi Gene,
I think you give in too early.. Let him chase first, even just once before responding to him.. If he texts or call this week don’t reply.. Try to do a 3 weeks to one month of nc.