Using Social Media To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

378 thoughts on “EBR 024: Using Social Media To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

anna

December 5, 2015 at 5:57 pm

Me and my boyfriend broke up after a year and a half of being with each other. He broke up with me over the phone which resulted in a heated argument on my behalf, which I don’t feel bad about as he had very little respect for me for doing it over the phone! The last day I had seen him before the breakup he told me that he loved me. However after 10 weeks of no contact I finally caved in and felt it was stupid to ignore him any longer. I didn’t hear anything from him in these 10 weeks. He did always look at my snapchat stories and then often put one up himself to make me jealous or just to show what he was up to. He also poked me on Facebook. I started snapchatting him and sometimes he brings up cute and funny old memories or mentions things that I would always say that would make him laugh. However I don’t want to look over clingy so I tend to open the snap chats a while after he sends them or take my time replying. But he’s doing the same he’s snapchatting me and then disappears for a while but continues to snapchat other people (score goes up). I’m confused what he’s trying to do or what he wants? And he’s the type of boy who knows how to play a girl so I don’t want to make any rational moves. I think he might be seeing his ex but I don’t think they’re together as a I have a close source. I’m scared to get hurt again so I’m not sure what to do? Any advise? I’ve been following your guides for weeks and they’ve really helped me.
Stephanie

November 10, 2015 at 6:57 pm

Hi Chris,

I am currently in the first few days of NC, I am hoping NC will get my bf back. I am trying to be strong and not go on social media (facebook) while I am in this emotional period, as I feel it would make me worse if I see something I don’t want to see. I am trying to use the time to better myself, see friends, start going to exercise classes etc. My question is regarding snapchat…should I look at my exs snapchat story or not? at the moment I have decided not too as I thought that would make him wonder more about why I wasn’t checking up on what he is getting up to.. what is your opinion?

Thank you in advance for your help 🙂
Kait

November 10, 2015 at 3:54 pm

Hi Chris, I know you get thousands of messages like this, but I really need some advice. I think I’ve completely blown my chances of ever getting my ex back, even if I do follow your guides/advice. Basically we’ve been on and off for over a year now and we argue a lot, he never apologises after arguments and will just ignore me for the rest of the day or even for a day+ where as I’ll apologise most of the time regardless and I hate being ignored, especially by him, and then when he does speak to me he just acts normal again or sometimes he’ll say things like ‘going to be a normal gf or still an angry troll’ I admit when we argue at times I can say some really horrible and unforgivable things, but so has he. He’s said many times over the past months that he doesn’t love me and hasn’t wanted to be with me for months now. It’s mostly him who breaks up with me, I’ve only ever broken up with him I’ve but I didn’t mean it. He’s also said that he’s only taken me back because I made him or wouldn’t leave him alone. Now last week we had a huge fight on Sunday and things got so bad and again he said were over and that he doesn’t love me anymore and that once I leave his house I won’t be setting foot in there ever again. Things got broken and he got angry and pushed me but I replaced the broken things and got them sent to his house. He text me 3 days after the break up saying he got the items but he can’t accept them knowing how he feels about us and that he sees no future for us and doesn’t see us ever working. I tried to do no contact but failed on day 3 🙁 and text him back saying ‘Hey, I was just thinking about the first time we went to the cinema together to see Jurassic World, it was so good. I am glad we did that.’ But because he didn’t reply I turned into a text gnat and then said ‘could we talk please? I don’t like how things were left.’ He replied ‘I enjoyed the good times we had too but things aren’t the same and we argue too much, please send me your address so i can return the items as it doesn’t feel right’ I responded ‘I don’t want to lose you, so will you please work with me to make our relationship work again, I know I don’t deserve it but I care for you deeply and I love you..I want you to keep the them, I’m sorry.’ And again he didn’t respond so I text him again saying ‘Please just talk with me, even if you hate me, please hear me out.’ He responded saying ‘it’s over I sorry, there’s nothing else I can say’ I continued to keep begging him to take me back and him not replying and when he I asked him if he loved me he said no sorry and he also said he won’t be contacting me anymore and i really dont want to upset you more and talking is doing that, you are more than welcome to let me send the items back, other than that good bye. I continued to bombard him with messages and calls, he replied no my minds made up..I continued to message and call him the next day too but no reply. It’s not been almost 3 days I haven’t heard from him and I’m absolutely terrified of losing him. I didn’t text him today so this is the first day I haven’t contacted him for..I want to try the no contact but I always end up caving in. Do you think the Nc rule will get him to speak to me or even give us a chance of ever getting back together? I did the NC rule once before and it got him back and about two weeks later he said he missed me, but do you think it’ll work a second time? Please help, I really don’t know what to do! We live 2 hours apart, so there’s no chance I’ll randomly bump into him :(.
Megan

October 31, 2015 at 8:52 am

Chris,

My boyfriend and I were together 7 months. He told me he loved me around the 4-5 month mark and about every day after.

He started living with me while in between places… Just naturally happened because we’re spending so much time together.

We started fighting because he’s always responding to so many texts. I know he’s never cheated on me but I get annoyed. And he thinks I’m being jealous. It made me uncomfortable though. We had each other’s computer passwords though and everything was fine.

I do think he drinks alotnand that was my their concern. He sometimes says he can’t sleep at night without drinking.

Anyways. We got in a huge fight a few weeks ago. I stormed off and he had it. Said this relationship isn’t right.

Two days later he came and got all his stuff which I had already packed up.

After that we decided we would talk for closer. His idea. But then he kept blowing it off and asking for more time.

Finally i told him no more time. Let’s talk and get closure or never talk again.

We met. He acted like a different person. Like he was fine and kept saying the relationship wasn’t right.
He also said I was trying to fix him and save him.

A few month or so before the break up he posted a photo on Instagram of us looking very in love.

Today he deleted that special photo… That photo only. But kept other pictures I’m tagged in. Inside jokes. And group pics of us.

What does this all mean?
Is he done??? I haven’t texted him since our “closure” talk this week.

He’s very stubborn and prideful. Please help!!!!
Taylor

October 26, 2015 at 4:10 am

Chris,
I am on day 12 of NC… I have been posting natural looking pictures that show that I am happy and going out and doing things (hikes, spending time with my family, going to church, dinner with girl friends, pumpkin patch, even a pumpkin patch picture with a single boy who is my friend). The next day after the pumpkin patch couple-looking photo I posted my ex unfriended me despite having been facebook friends with me this entire time… and having said that maybe we can be friends again after the wounds of the break up heal. Our breakup was a general breakup and I honestly feel that he is jealous and wants to remove me from his mind because he still has those strong feelings for me. Our reason for breaking up was that he said he didn’t love me anymore after 1 year and 3 months.

Did I overdo the facebook posting or is he seriously hurting right now? Agh! We have a lot of mutual FB friends including my family and his family! He hasn’t defriended my sister.

Chris Seiter

December 4, 2015 at 5:56 am

That’s good, you know that he still likes you. Only do 21 days of no contact and then reach out though him through text with a really sweet text. Read my post on sending texts to your ex.

Did he defriend everyone but your sister? Maybe he forgot shes on there.

I don’t think you over did it. He’s clearly upset which means he still cares. Don’t let it go to long though. 🙂

TJ

October 6, 2015 at 5:49 am

My ex broke up with me and ignored me. I was so heartbroken and desperate I begged for him back (which I know is a no no) Finally I decided to suck it up and do the no contact… right as I start piecing myself back together my ex texted me a little update of how he’s been since we broke up (I found this weird because it was kind of like “hey look at how great I’m doing with out you”) I sent a short response to his text and then he proceeded to ignore me again. So I started the no contact again… It has been 2 and a half months of no contact. I’m doing good. I’m not depressed, I even talked to another guy briefly. My ex just liked my picture on Instagram. We don’t follow each other anymore so I know he had to have searched for me to get to my page. What should I do now??? I really want to reconnect even if we could just be friends.. I miss talking to him. P.S: I liked one of his pictures back… was that a mistake???
Jessica

October 4, 2015 at 6:08 pm

what if your exbf likes your profilepicture (not recently updated) at 5pm? When he’s obviously drunk after a night out? Is there still significance?

Chris Seiter

October 6, 2015 at 4:02 am

Not as much…

But you know what they say…

Alcohol often brings out the truth.
Jessica

October 4, 2015 at 6:09 pm

5 am of course 🙂

Ester

October 4, 2015 at 12:30 pm

Hi Chris,
My ex boyfriend and I are in high school, I’m a senior and he’s a junior. We broke up about 3 weeks ago because we tried to have a relationship but he said he just couldn’t be a good boyfriend and he knew he had been letting me down (which was true). I was thinking of breaking up with him as well because I felt like all the bad feelings I had towards him for not being able to be the boyfriend I wanted him to be would undermine how I felt about him. It was just a very sad break up. We had been talking all summer and basically had a long distance relationship because he was visiting family in Europe. We would Skype for hours and just stare at each other. And then when he got back he said he’d”love” to be with me and we shared our first kiss which was very passionate. After that school started, and he was afraid people were judging him for being the type of boyfriend that he was — uncommunicative and extremely shy, but sweet and would say all the right things when he needed to. He’s never dated anyone before and he told me that he’d love to be with me at school but just has no idea what he’s doing. Also he’s an only child and all of his friends are single except for one who’s dating my best friend. Recently about 2 weeks into NC (I had said I couldn’t be his friend) he liked a photo I posted on Instagram of me with my new car (transportation was an issue when it came to seeing each other). Two days later at school he saw me walking up the stairs and ran up to me but then just walked next to me without saying anything, almost expectant. When I didn’t he just walked ahead of me really fast. I see this as him starting to reach out. What do you think? Also, i hope you respond because I have a follow up issue involving his best friend. Thanks in advance 🙂
Sarah

September 26, 2015 at 5:36 am

Hi Chris!

It has been approximately 3 months since the breakup. Actually, I am not really trying to get him back. However, like everyone else does, I stalk his facebook page from time to time 🙂 The other day I noticed that although I deleted him from facebook and skype, he has not deleted me from skype yet. I was wondering why an ex would like to keep you in the list of friends despite the fact that he is not on my list any longer. As a habit (either relationships or friends), when people discard me from their list, I follow the same fashion after a while. Why do you think despite 3 months, he has not deleted me yet?

Sarah

October 2, 2015 at 12:11 pm

I am not really sure how often he uses it. However, towards the end of the relationship, he was always saying that he needed to skype a friend or so related to his job. I assume that if it is not too often, he does use it sometimes. Also, considering that he put a cover photo of a place we went together on a holiday on his facebook profile, I thought that he would have noticed, but yeah there is always possibility of not noticing as well 🙂 And since I deleted him, it has also been three months. I thought that he might have used Skype at least several times within three months or simply logged in and checked his messages. He doesn’t have many skype contacts on his list (20 or so).
Chris Seiter

October 1, 2015 at 6:21 pm

Stalking is rather normal hahaha.

How often does he use skype?

Could he have just forgotten?

Kristin

September 15, 2015 at 3:58 pm

I need help… Any other time my ex and I had fought we talked everyday until we got back together and it was great. And no matter what happened (exes trying to get involved and ruin us, insecurities, attitudes, etc) we always figured it out and came back to each other and it made me believe that we were obviously made for each other, because we’ve been each other’s longest relationships, plus we helped each other love again after we didn’t want to because of our precious exes. Now this very last time we got back together I had asked him how he knew that he for sure wanted to be with me he said it was because “I’m the one whose always been there for him” and it’s true, I’ve been there through every possible thing and it made me so happy. Then we got into a fight(over something stupid) and he got so mad and broke up with me and said this was a waste of time and pointless and that he doesn’t want to be a part of my life. And it crushed me that he flipped the script so quickly and everyone keeps telling me that he only said that out of anger and that he doesn’t mean it. It’s been a little over 2 weeks and we still haven’t spoken. I checked up on his Facebook the other day and he has posted some statuses about not being sure what was going on in his head and stuff like that. Chris I need help. He’s my heart. I need him back. I need help on how to get him back. I still believe this is worth saving and I know deep down, he still believes too. Please help.
Jenni

September 2, 2015 at 10:48 pm

Hey Chris! So my ex-boyfriend recently got an Instagram after our break up its been about 10 days since he dumped me and I have implemented the no contact rule although he hasn’t tried contacting me any yet I’m wondering when would be the right time to post a drop dead gorgeous selfie of myself on Instagram?
Angie

September 2, 2015 at 6:47 am

Hello Chris!

I am just wondering about the use of jealousy of social medias.
I unfollowed/unfriended him on both facebook and instagram right after the break up, however,
as far as I checked he is still following me on instagram. I think it is just because he is insensitive about it.
He didn’t even delete the pictures of us.
Ok, so get to the point, I am really curious about using jealousy. Is it right if I upload picture of a concert and
for the comment saying like, enjoying the quality time with :P.
Things like this that indirectly telling him that I am having fun with someone else.
I’m just so lost about the idea to use sns to make him jealous 🙁
Need so much of your help Chris!

Chris Seiter

September 12, 2015 at 1:20 am

It can be very effective but like I said it is like playing with fire so you have to be careful.

I definitely think it’s ok to upload the picture but your caption idea is GENIUS!

Leauna

August 19, 2015 at 4:21 pm

Hi Chris,
My ex wants to be just friends for right now because he is too busy in the police academy and working a lot. He still loves me he just can’t handle anymore stress for now..I really wish he would be with me still. But we are on good terms for now however.
Is it a complete bad idea if I have a profile pic of me in my bikini relaxing in a chair on the beach wearing sun glasses? I really like the pic, but I’m hoping its not too much ..

Chris Seiter

August 19, 2015 at 5:24 pm

So the only cause for the breakup was him being to busy? I think that picture sounds good!

There’s an 88% chance that he is going to look at your facebook regardless if he’s busy or not. Most people look at their ex’s profiles after a breakup, regardless if they are friends on facebook or not.

Anya

August 16, 2015 at 3:14 am

My ex broke up with me but still kept our picture as his main profile picture for a week. Then on Friday, he went nuts and deleted all our pictures that ever existed on his account. Pretty much every existence. What does that mean? Is that a bad sign? (He is in drug and alcohol rehab btw)

Chris Seiter

August 17, 2015 at 1:58 am

It sounds like he is having a tough time with the breakup.

Erin

August 14, 2015 at 8:46 pm

Hi Chris,

On the second day of the break up, I deleted all contacts of my ex, including defriending him on facebook. On Facebook, we had only one mutual friend with whom we both were not very close friends. Three weeks after the breakup, I noticed that he deleted this mutual friend and for the first time, he put a cover photo on his profile. (I checked his profile before, too but we still had the mutual friend and there was no change in his cover photo). He would not post any photos or use any cover photo before. The cover photo shows a seaside place with many people, but one of the girls in the photo is slightly more up front in the photo. When I click on the photo I can see the girl fully, but in the way it is adjusted as a cover photo, her body is cut in half and occupying the corner of the picture. I showed it to other friends and they told me that they don’t think that she is a new girlfriend. What do you think? The mutual friend we had was a man and my ex kinda did not like him. Since he met this guy through my friend circle, I kinda thought it is only natural. I’m more shocked with the cover photo because he really did not post any cover photo once on his facebook before. And he posted it while simultaneously deleting this mutual friend through whom I was able to see more of his profile. Is he trying to make me jealous so that I would give a reaction or simply he moved on and found someone else?

Erin

August 29, 2015 at 4:13 pm

I tried changing profile and cover photos in the same way, and uploading holiday photos but not sure whether he checks as we are no longer friends on social media. However, they are not photos specifically with friends. Just some photos with scenery except for the profile photo.
Erin

August 22, 2015 at 7:44 am

Chris, today it has been 45 days exactly and no news from him yet except for that stupid cover photo thing. In the previous breakups, I always contacted him first. I guess he really meant to break up and is happy with his decision as he has never tried to reach out once. I think I’ll give up 🙁
Chris Seiter

August 25, 2015 at 6:50 pm

Did you try light jealously during no contact?
Erin

August 19, 2015 at 8:26 am

Thanks for the answer, Chris. It’s nice to hear that. He has not contact me during 30-day NC, though, so I decided to prolong the NC. It was an on/off relationship and now if we get back together, it will be LDR, too as he moved due to work. I was planning initially for a 2-month NC, should I keep it shorter?
Chris Seiter

August 19, 2015 at 7:12 pm

Your welcome. Probably keep it a bit shorter.
Chris Seiter

August 17, 2015 at 11:21 pm

He’s trying to get your attention. I think he is trying to make you jealous.

Julie

August 9, 2015 at 11:48 pm

Hi Chris,

My ex has been liking my posts on Facebook since about a month after the break up, which was around 6 1/2 months ago. He has liked about 95% of my posts since which is strange to me. I also had been liking his stuff too as we are on good terms now. (He told me that he still loves me about 6 weeks after we broke up.)

Lately he hasn’t been giving me much in my attempts to re-attract him so I decided to pull back and I’ve stopped liking everything. He has done the same to me so now nothing is happening.

Do you think this is a good or bad sign? Is it good that he is aware of my actions which means I’m on his mind, or is he just trying to move on? Will he reach out to me if I stand my ground?

Or is a Facebook like too small to even worry about 😛

Julie

August 20, 2015 at 12:30 am

He broke up with me because he was very stressed with life and also dealing with some mental health issues. He said he still loves me but just needs to be on his own for a while. Your moving on comment confused me for a second but I’m not sure that’s the case here. He asked me for coffee a few times since, not said anything about our relationship but I just know he’s not over me. I’m not sure how to go about things now, do you think I have a good chance of getting him back?
Julie

August 18, 2015 at 12:47 am

Yes about two weeks ago. Had very positive responses but have heard nothing since through texting. He has liked a couple of things since I posted here, what should I do now?

Thanks 🙂 congrats on baby girl btw!
Chris Seiter

September 2, 2015 at 3:42 am

Thanks so much! Continue building the attraction through text. As long as your getting positive texts you can keep sending them. Just not to much 🙂
Chris Seiter

August 16, 2015 at 11:45 pm

After 6 months he’s probably trying to move on. Have you tried sending him a test text yet?

melissa

August 4, 2015 at 7:05 pm

how can i record a podcast?

Chris Seiter

August 6, 2015 at 10:14 pm

You can just record it on the contact page.

https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/contact/

melissa

August 4, 2015 at 7:05 pm

what if he doesn’t want to friended me again? our relationship was good, but he said I was acting crazy lately and he is dating someone new in less than a month. I feel sad cuz he has an ex added and he doesn’t want to add me again.

melissa

August 4, 2015 at 7:08 pm

we only dated for a month but we saw each other almost daily.

Karen

July 28, 2015 at 5:49 am

Hi Chris,
I was just intrigued since you were saying that ladies should use photos on facebook to show an ex that they were having the time of their life.
Wouldn’t this reinforce an ex boyfriend instead, especially when he was the one who broke up with the girl?
Hanna

July 17, 2015 at 5:15 am

Hi Chris – great podcast! I have one follow-up question that is specific to my situation, and would like your advice on what to do:

It’s been 2 days since my ex broke up with me. He said he loves me still but relationship got boring and isn’t IN love with my anymore. Because I have tendencies to develop very negative thoughts about myself and become unproductive and sad, I unfollowed him on Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and I deactivated my Facebook (didn’t unfriend him on FB before, so we’ll still be friends when I reactivate). I did this before I listened to your podcast – oops! I know he still follows me on all of these social media apps, so I will be posting fabulous pics of how fabulously I’m doing. However, when will I be able to follow him again? Should I wait until we’ve gone on a date again (if that every happens), or maybe when we’re in a relationship again? I don’t want to be viewed as a flip-flopper. Thanks!

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378 thoughts on “EBR 024: Using Social Media To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back”