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378 thoughts on “EBR 024: Using Social Media To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

  1. Anon

    January 25, 2017 at 6:16 pm

    I was doing everything right. Posting snapchats of me having fun, working out, and moving on. I also was liking other guys posts on Instagram. He contacted me asking me where I was the night before. I told him I was at a friends. He then asked if we could meet up to figure out what we are doing with some of our things (we lived together prior for 9 years). He told me he can’t follow me on social media anymore because it’s too hard for him. He’s the one who broke up with me because he doesn’t want a relationship right now. I am 99.9% sure there was no cheating. The same day he started unfollowing me. What do I do? What does this mean?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 26, 2017 at 12:09 pm

      Hi anon,

      if you replied, that means you’re not in the no contact rule period or you broke it.. Check this one:
      EBR 048: My Ex Boyfriend Unfriended Me On Facebook…. What Does It Mean?

  2. Catherine

    January 20, 2017 at 7:14 pm

    Hi again
    I’m not a rebound.We had been dating but I’m just insecure about her former ex. He was single for a long time and they had agreed to end things between them. They have not been in contact for two years and his former ex moved on and happy with his guy and I was happy too not until i messed.Im just insecure

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 22, 2017 at 9:21 am

      ok..then all the.more reason that you have to focus in yourself first.. Rebuild your self esteem.. If you really want to be attractive, be genuine and have standards.. be willing to lose the people that dont fit that standards insread of losing yourself

  3. Catherine

    January 20, 2017 at 3:58 pm

    Hi
    I have a problem. Well i need advice to know how to go about such situations when they occur.
    While i was dating my ex i noticed he used to like some of his former ex’s photos on social media.I was jealous most of the time because even after approaching him about it, he never liked my photos. I became very insecure and i still feel like he has a special place for his ex. Almost every time i brought up the conversation about being together in future he would tell me to not plan the future but live life at the moment. He would tell me of how he hoped to marry the girl he first made love to and it didn’t happen.He also told me we can’t make plans of 15 years to come at the moment and bite more than we can chew. What would you say about such a guy? I know there was so much chemistry between the two of them since they were together for 5 years and we have only been together for five months. It’s not like he didn’t love me but I just feel threatened and i hope he doesn’t live to love his ex for the rest of his life. What should i really do?
    Now we are not together anymore. I’m on no contact and implementing everything right to win his love back. I’m willing to start off as friends as i build rapport to regain his trust. Should i talk to him about some of this things and how do i avoid feeling jealous about his past?I realized he still keeps her number and photo.Can i win his heart too and influence him that much like his girlfriend? Can i get a guide on how to deal with such a situation and not messing up or overreacting? please help me

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 20, 2017 at 5:34 pm

      Hi Catherine,

      if you’re the rebound, check the link below. And also, you have to be better than the other girl.. so be active..
      EBR 034: Are YOU The Rebound For Your Ex Boyfriend?

  4. Amy

    January 4, 2017 at 10:55 am

    My boyfriend and I split up 2 months ago, we remained friends and still talked. But 5 days ago after he reached out to me and we had a small talk about things not related to the breakup, he stopped talking to me. He hasn’t reached out to me ever since. I posted a photo on snapchat of a pair of tickets I’ve purchased for a movie thats coming out and we promised to watch it together when it does. He has seen it, I was expecting a reply from him and asking me who I’m going with or why I’m not going with him, but he didn’t. Do you think he is annoyed by the fact or has completely moved on from me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 6, 2017 at 6:11 am

      Hi Amy,

      what were you talking about?

  5. DEma

    January 2, 2017 at 9:11 am

    This guy broke up with me last summer. About to go back to college this spring. I freaked out and didn’t think I was ready to see him (we had been chatting occasionally) so I unadded him on Facebook and snapchat. Now, I’m having second thoughts because I really would like to have him as a friend. Should I wait the two weeks till I get back to school to see where he’s at? Or, should I go ahead and readd him? I think eventually I might like to date him again, but I’d like to be his friend first and foremost.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 4, 2017 at 5:27 pm

      Hi Dema,

      be friendly in person first before readding him back

  6. Trisha

    December 30, 2016 at 4:56 am

    My boyfriend and i broke up 10 days ago.. after 5 days of no contact he started deleting our pictures in facebook. Is he moving on already? Are my chances of getting him back low? We have had multiple breakups and this time seems to be the final one. What should i do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 30, 2016 at 2:55 pm

  7. Tet

    December 22, 2016 at 8:24 am

    This is very long but pleasw bear with me. I badly need you right now and i need to tell you all the details.

    Hello Chris! I just finished your ebook!

    Ive been very depressed these past 4 days because my boyfriend of 5 years and 5 months just broke up with me. He wasnt perfect but he was a good boyfriend to me. He was a very nice man. He broke up with me because he thinks his feelings are not the same as before and said that he has been reassessing it for weeks. He told me he doesnt want to continue our relationship if he feels for me that way because it’s very unfair on my part. He told me that he liked someone in his workplace but theyre not in a relationship, he doesn’t see his future yet with that girl, he doesnt love her, but right now he likes her more than he likes me. He told me he found in her the spark we have lost when we were courting, and this idiot just wont believe me when i told him that long term relationships really experiences this.

    He told me that he wanted to fix himself so bad, alone. He has been having financial problems lately with his family, his job is not yet stable, he has no savings yet and he’s already 28, and he feels like his ego has been challenged every time he goes out with my family and my family treats him. He feels like he’s a failure.

    He told me that he stopped pursuing her(the other girl) the other week. Because he felt so bad for cheating on me. He was never the kind of person to cheat. And he can not forgive himself and he can no longer continue to fix his relationship with me because he feels like he no longer deserves me after all that he has done. That he can no longer look at me the same way because he will always feel ashamed and that I will use it against him someday. That he will be branded as that kind of man who cheats even if thats not really his personality. Thats why he wanted to fix himself.

    I still love him and every single minute, im breaking into pieces. I love him so much that i have forgiven him immediately the moment he told me everything. I wasnt even able to get mad at him that day he told me everything. I even told him to learn to forgive himself because i have already forgiven him even if i know i shouldn’t and should be mad at him but i can’t.

    I’ve been extremely devastated these past few days. I feel so rejected. I feel like he has forgotten my value. But i also know he doesn’t because he told me he feels like he wouldn’t deserve me forever for what he has done. So the other day, i went to their house because… he wanted to tell me everything. The only reasons he gave me on our first day of breakup was that he wanted to focus on himself and his family and second, his feelings are not the same. But being a good investigator that i was, i found out that he has been.. uhh im not so sure with the term.. but i know hes not yet courting her but maybe theres mutual understanding. So thats when i told him that i knew because a contact from a company where he works confirmed to me that he sees him with this girl. So he demanded that we meet so he can tell me everything because thats what i deserve. Soo he told me everything and he asked me to think about it. If i still want to continue the relationship and try, knowing that he’s feelings are no longer as strong as before plus the fact that he made a terrible mistake towards me. He even told me he only sees him a friend. Fuck that! I asked him if he will try his best, he told me there’s no assurance that his feelings will be brought back. I was extremely hurt. And i told him that i will miss him. And when i asked him if he will miss me, he said that he doesnt know. He will only know if im already gone and that in a few days of our breakup he wasnt feeling that yet.

    I am so puzzled because on our first day of breakup, he asked me that if ever he will already be fixed, if there will be any chance of us getting back together again next year? I answered, ‘maybe’ ‘idk’ and ‘we’ll see’ . Then i asked him, but what if he’s already in love with someone next year. He told me i got a point and asked me what if im the one who’ll be in love with someone by the time he realizes that the lost feelings for me are back. And he also said sorry because he told me that breaking up with me is the only way he can do to fix himself and that he can not do it if he’s committed.

    I asked him if he will pursue this girl that he wants but he told me hes not yet sure and he’ll see whatever happens.

    He has assured me that he really wanted to fix himself. I believe him but at the back of my mind, i’ve been thinking if he only said all these to get rid of me so that he can start a relationship with this girl. Although im kinda convinced that he was also very guilty of what he has done and has hated himself bevause of that and stopped pursuing rhe girl last week because he wanted to stop being the man he really wasnt(which is being a cheater). But also broke up with me because feelings arent the same anymore and cant fix things with me for now because he can no longer look at me knowing that he made that mistake.

    I woke up yesterday morning feeling so shattered. I wanted to talk with my friends but they were asleep so what i did was i messaged him and told him i was very much in pain etc. i told him i was sorry for messaging him and he told me it was okay. Then told me that maybe i should stop communicating with him because itll be harder to move on if i dont. He also said that i deserve someone better etc etc (and it hurts me because why cant he make things right and be the better man he thinks i deserve). I told him that ive beem planning to stop my communication but i messaged him because i got no one to talk to and my friends were asleep and he said he understood. But i no longer replied to his message just so he’ll be the one who has sent the last text.

    I have finished reading your ebook and i wanted to seek more advice. Your ebook was great and i am feeling better. I am thinking that if i may not be successful in getting him back, i might be successful in putting myself together. Besides, i have been meditating and deep inside i have always know that there are so many reasons why we shouldn’t be together and that maybe God is just answering my prayers to save me from future pain. But theres a big part of me that really wants him back and then i’ll decide if i want him back too only when he shows signs of wanting me back. Its just that my ego has been hurt because he has decided to end this relationship on his own. We could have prevented this if he told me that things between us have been starting to dry instead of pursuing this girl. I told him that couples in long term relationships really experience this loss of feelings but that doesn’t mean it isnt there. We just needed to spark it up. He doesn’t seem to get it! He also told me that i am the only woman he loved the most in his entire life.

    Please give me some advise… your thoughts on what i told you.. and also answer my questions please

    Questions:
    1. We dont text that much. We have different working times. He works at night and i work on normal hours. So everyday, our exchange of messages are just.. hey im home. Or im already at the office. Okay, i love you. Etc. we only see each other on sundays. But we really had an intimate and close relationship. We loved each other so much and we have already planned of marrying eavh other. We are close to each others family. His mom, dad, and siblings and I were crying like crazy when i said my goodbye to them the other day. They can not believe it! So my question is, if i stay religious with the 30 day no contact, do you think he will miss me?

    2. We never unfriended each other on facebook and instagram. We still have each other’s pictures. He asked me on our first day of break up if we can remain friends. I said yes. Is that right to answer him that way?

    3. So since i was extremely sad, my best friend gave me a chocolate and a balloon with my first name’s letter. Then my mom gave me a stuffed toy and my bro gave me a book. I was thinking if it’s okay to post all these with the caption ‘thank you’? Maybe he’ll think i have admirers? And how many days after breakup should i post that?

    4. I have always been a confident woman. So when you advised that i should be to become na UNgettable one, what more shall i do? He’s the one between us who is not so confident. I did talks on public etc etc and i have always been confident.
    Except lately when we were taking pics together and i kept on saying i looked like a trash and he told me why i kept on saying that.

    5. After 30 days of no contact, and i start sending him a text, will he think that i havent moved on with him yet and i still kept on thinking about him if out of the blue i text him i have a confession to make.. then say stuff that are not really very controversial like ( i saw this and reminded me of you etc) will it not make him cringe knowing that ive been thinking of him still?

    6. What if he greets me merry chirstmas or send me a message on facebook?
    Shall i make sure he knows i have read it nut no plans of replying, or leave the message at unopened at all)

    7. I have always taken care of myself physically in our whole 5 year relationship so i do not know what else to do. Like take care of myself more and be more attractive that how i used to be?
    I have always known im a good catch. I do not want to be arrogant but i have always been a good girlfriend to him and people have been telling me that i really am an ideal girl. (Oh gosh so sorry but i have to tell you this because you advised we have to think this way too). The people around us and I believes that he wouldnt find someone else like me.

    8. What if he doesnt miss me after 30 days of no contact. I wll extremely be devastated again. What if he’ll be busy with this girl and this 30 day NC is ineffective? What do you think?

    9. I have been currently investigating the name of this girl he was so into in their office and do you think i should pursue my investigation? Should i check the girl’s fb profile?

    10. He loved ramen! We never had ramen when were together because i wasnt a fan. Maybe only a couple of times but hes the only one who ordered. If i go out with a guy friend and i post that we are eating ramen because he convinced me do you think it will have an impact on him?

    11. He loves shoes and this adidas nmd. I can defo afford it but never bought one bevause i am thrifty. If i buy one for myself do you think he’ll be interested with the photo?

    Please help me. Pleas chris. Please
    Help me please.

    Thank you!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 27, 2016 at 9:55 am

      Hi P,

      long term relationships does lose the spark sometimes but you cant convince the other person by just telling them that’s it’s a phase. If he saw the other girl as a grass is greener case, the means the relationship probably got boring and lacked variety. Dont over think doing the no contact rule..Just do it. Dont answer if hr greets or messages, unless it’s about an important matter or emergency, and just live your life.. have your own life by having your own routine apart from him and do new things

  8. Vanessia Johnson

    December 20, 2016 at 12:43 am

    So my ex and I broke up two days ago exactly, he was the one who broke it off, I really like him still and care so much about him that I am trying the whole “No Contact” for 30 days. I guess my question is, is it good that on Snapchat he views my stories every single day? Trust me I haven’t talked to him whatsoever I can just see who views my things

    1. crystal

      December 23, 2016 at 2:23 am

      Amor, I am in a similar situation. He checks my stories so fast. I have been on/off with the NC rule-as I have tried asking him things for closure. I have been researching online a lot and some people say that him looking at snapchat stories doesn’t matter. What makes you think otherwise?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 28, 2016 at 3:32 am

      Hi Crystal,

      there’s no guarantee that the nc rule will work, but the more you restart it, the less it can help you.. it’s good that he’s still viewing your stories.. use it as an indirect way of showing your improvements and you’ve accepted the situation..and I think you should do 45 days..

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 22, 2016 at 12:48 pm

      Hi Vanessa,

      yep! it’s a good sign!

  9. Jenn

    December 7, 2016 at 5:14 am

    So my ex deleted our photos off Facebook after a month. Does that mean he’s over it?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 10, 2016 at 7:41 pm

      Hi Jenn,

      It depends but most of the time, not really. Check this one:
      EBR 048: My Ex Boyfriend Unfriended Me On Facebook…. What Does It Mean?

  10. Madeline

    November 18, 2016 at 2:24 pm

    Hi Amor, yesterday i deleted some of my pictures on instagram of us, because my ex deleted almost all of our pictures except two pictures last week. Today he deleted the remaining two. What does that mean?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 20, 2016 at 8:27 pm

      Hi Madeline,
      dont do that.. It’s like you’re non verbally communicating negatively. Just let him be. He might be deleting those because it hurts to see them which is a good sign for you. Dont stalk him too..it would be better if you just focus in improving yourself and then use those activities to post in your social media accounts

  11. Naz

    November 15, 2016 at 7:51 pm

    Hello

    It’s been around 5 months since the break up
    I contacted him 3 weeks ago , I was shocked he replied Nicly and called me with my nickname but I still replied in formal way then he didnt reply till now and I even noticed that he stopped liking my pics on the social media but didn’t block me

    Is it because of me replying in a cold way tho I’m the one who started the conversation or what is it exactly

    What should I do ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 15, 2016 at 10:45 pm

      Hi Naz,

      it can be… because, he might have thought, you’re not really that happy to talk to him, just curious. Just initiate again. And how much did you improve since you broke up?

  12. Naz

    November 15, 2016 at 7:40 pm

    Hello

    It’s been around 5 months since the break up
    I contacted him 3 weeks ago , I was shocked he replied in a Nicly and called me with my nickname but I still replied in formal way then he didnt reply till now and I even noticed that he stopped liking my pics on the social media but didn’t block me

    Is it because of me replying in a cold way tho I’m the one who started the conversation or what is it exactly

    What should I do ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 15, 2016 at 10:45 pm

      Hi Naz,

      it can be… because, he might have thought, you’re not really that happy to talk to him, just curious. Just initiate again. And how much did you improve since you broke up?

  13. Analis

    November 11, 2016 at 5:55 am

    Hi,
    Me and my boyfriend broke up about 3 weeks ago, it has been around 7 days since I started the nc rule. When we broke up I was so angry so I deleted the pics he was in off my Instagram, so he went ahead and blocked me.
    He still had my sister on Instagram so he could see what she would post that was related to me.
    There was a video of me and my sister and a couple of guys in a bar, after he saw that, he messaged me saying “never expected you to be this low” and he blocked me on Whatsapp and deleted my pics from his Instagram and unfollowed my sister!

    While he himself was partying and adding girls on Instagram and liking his exs pictures the whole time since we broke up!
    I don’t know if I should continue with the nc or talk to him about it !
    It feels like a really bad sign

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 14, 2016 at 7:45 pm

      Hi Analis,

      talking to him after what he did would be chasing, so just let him be. It can be ego talking..

  14. Kristen

    November 3, 2016 at 2:29 pm

    Hi! My ex and I broke up at the beginning of October. He immediately started dating a new girl, who I now believe he was talking too before we even broke up. He sent me a follow request for instagram, but according to you guys I should not add him back on any of my social media as I would be “flip flopping”. Am I understanding that correctly? He has friends and family that still have me added on social media so I know he is seeing what I post… I’ve done great so far with the NC but he texted me this morning and asked me if I gave him an STD, which I know I did not (I have been to the doctors twice since we have been together for physicals and everything is clear 🙂 ). How should I handle this? I want to say something like “I was just at the doctors this week and got checked and I am negative for anything”, but should I do that or should I stick with the no contact? Thanks for the help!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 5, 2016 at 3:07 pm

      Hi Kristen,

      you shouldnt add him back during the no contact rule. When did you start? Are you actively improving yourself? You can reply to him about that since it’s a health issue but if he knows you didnt and it looks like he’s just checking if you would reply, dont reply..

  15. Crag

    October 24, 2016 at 7:56 pm

    She wanted no contact, blocked me from Facebook, Instagram and Phone Number but she still reads all of my Snapchat Story Updates and has been caught stalking my Instagram by her friends. I broke the no contact after 21 days to no reply so I’m going to try start again either for 30 days or until she messages me next. Could I really use Snapchat to keep my positives in her mind to try and be even with the “Night Out Pictures” which are indirectly aimed at me on her Story?

    1. Crag

      October 26, 2016 at 9:38 pm

      Hi Amor,

      The break up message said that she couldn’t handle being in a relationship at the time due to being under high amount of stress outside of the relationship. Also because of which she felt as though she had realised she preferred to live alone not having to worry about anyone else (Even though she never had to worry about me). She said the battle with her thoughts was a long one even though just a week before when we were physically together she had been telling me how much she didn’t want us to end. She said she wanted to carry on as we were but without labels, still seeing each other and having laughs but I feel that was just a line for her to feel less guilty as clearly being blocked from everything she doesn’t want to deliver on that. Even funnier, at the end of the break up message it looks like she wrote me a recommendation like an employer

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 26, 2016 at 11:46 am

      hi Crag,

      do nc for yourself..even if she is the one who started it, make this nc to focus in healing and improving yourself,.not for getting even.. Yes, you are using social media to influence your image in her, but your actions or the activities should be for yourself.. So, that whatever happens, you’ve already started changing..

      why did you break up?

  16. Elena

    October 20, 2016 at 9:32 pm

    Should I post pictures of myself and things even if I’m doing the no contact for a month? I mean aren’t I suppose to disappeared from his life during that time? Or is it good that follow the no contact rule but do post things on social media.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 22, 2016 at 3:57 pm

      Hi Elena,

      it would be better if you keep being active in social media..just dont like his posts or comments and dont stalk him in social media

  17. Sad

    October 18, 2016 at 9:47 am

    Hey… So my boyfriend’s dad called me and asked me about his studies and other stuff as joe stays in a hostel.. I told his dad that joe is doing too much drugs and him his video my boyfriend got to know about the video and broke up with me.. I was just making his parents aware of what he was doing. He isnt replying me… He liked my pic on instagram a day after but after that he didnt like any of my posts… He loves me alot… I think he is angry on me… Was i wrong on sendin that video? Will he come back? Or should i use NC rule?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 19, 2016 at 9:39 pm

      Hi Sad
      you sent a video of him doing drugs to his parents? First, he’s doing something wrong, you shouldnt be worried that he’s angry because you’re trying to look out for him.. Maybe the only thing that you could have done was to talk to him first before talking to his parents about him..and telling him that if he doesnt change, you would inform his parents because he needs help.
      If that’s what you did, then you did the right thing.. If he really loves you, he will change…Being guilty about what you did means you’re willing to let go of your values and principles just for the person to stay.. That’s not love.. That’s insecurity.. It means you’re just afraid to be alone..

  18. Maggie

    October 14, 2016 at 8:38 pm

    My ex has been liking a number of my posts (usually at least one a week) for the past month. He even stepped it up and made a comment on one thing I posted. I have not contacted him or liked anything of his for all of this time. I know that his liking my posts/photos means he’s thinking of me and that maybe he’s missing me (or maybe he’s just trying to make me miss him). But when do I make any response? Do I like a photo he posts? Or do I wait for him to directly contact me? Does my “ignoring” his attempts so far make him feel dejected, or will the non-response make him step up his game and actually make a real contact with directly me by either txt, message or call?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 15, 2016 at 3:48 am

      Hi Maggie,

      do you mean you’re in no contact rule right now? You can initiate a text after it.. yes, the no contact rule can increase your chances, but it’s not a guaranteed answer that he will come back because of it.. are you actively improving yourself?

  19. B

    October 10, 2016 at 6:10 pm

    My boyfriend left me to pay attention to his new job after 2 years. We went 5 days no contact and he came back. I had my wall up hard because I didn’t trust him yet and I told him that. We were fine for like 2 or 3 weeks, I was naturally stressing out hard about my last semester of school and the fact that he would leave me again. I told him I was scared and was going to need reassurance this time and for him to prove to me that he wouldn’t bolt again. I had a huge mental break down and he ended up saying he couldn’t deal with me. He would always tell me how much he loves me and wanted to be with me. He was also scared of me graduating and moving far away even though I assured him if I couldn’t be with him there wouldn’t be anyone else and he continuously got jealous. He dumped me again and I got mad and threw out all of his stuff (he doesnt know) and i deleted his number and unfriended him on facebook. A few days later I was feeling better and changed my profile pic to me smiling as big as I could (my favorite pic) and as soon as he saw it, he blocked me. This was like 6 days ago and I am still blocked. Will the no contact rule still help? or at least should I even have faith anymore that he is hurting as bad as I am and regrets losing me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 11, 2016 at 11:30 am

      HI B,

      There’s not guarantee that it will work but it’s the only thing that can help you both be less emotional now..

  20. Sherie

    October 6, 2016 at 11:34 pm

    Does it matter if he likes the photos or not? I posted a recent photo of me getting my hair done and I’m sure he saw it. He liked his other friends’ photos but not mine. Does it mean anything?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 9, 2016 at 4:06 pm

      Hi Sherie,

      not really..juzt keep being active

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