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365 thoughts on “EBR 024: Using Social Media To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

  1. Avatar

    Madeline

    November 18, 2016 at 2:24 pm

    Hi Amor, yesterday i deleted some of my pictures on instagram of us, because my ex deleted almost all of our pictures except two pictures last week. Today he deleted the remaining two. What does that mean?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 20, 2016 at 8:27 pm

      Hi Madeline,
      dont do that.. It’s like you’re non verbally communicating negatively. Just let him be. He might be deleting those because it hurts to see them which is a good sign for you. Dont stalk him too..it would be better if you just focus in improving yourself and then use those activities to post in your social media accounts

  2. Avatar

    Naz

    November 15, 2016 at 7:51 pm

    Hello

    It’s been around 5 months since the break up
    I contacted him 3 weeks ago , I was shocked he replied Nicly and called me with my nickname but I still replied in formal way then he didnt reply till now and I even noticed that he stopped liking my pics on the social media but didn’t block me

    Is it because of me replying in a cold way tho I’m the one who started the conversation or what is it exactly

    What should I do ?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 15, 2016 at 10:45 pm

      Hi Naz,

      it can be… because, he might have thought, you’re not really that happy to talk to him, just curious. Just initiate again. And how much did you improve since you broke up?

  3. Avatar

    Naz

    November 15, 2016 at 7:40 pm

    Hello

    It’s been around 5 months since the break up
    I contacted him 3 weeks ago , I was shocked he replied in a Nicly and called me with my nickname but I still replied in formal way then he didnt reply till now and I even noticed that he stopped liking my pics on the social media but didn’t block me

    Is it because of me replying in a cold way tho I’m the one who started the conversation or what is it exactly

    What should I do ?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 15, 2016 at 10:45 pm

      Hi Naz,

      it can be… because, he might have thought, you’re not really that happy to talk to him, just curious. Just initiate again. And how much did you improve since you broke up?

  4. Avatar

    Analis

    November 11, 2016 at 5:55 am

    Hi,
    Me and my boyfriend broke up about 3 weeks ago, it has been around 7 days since I started the nc rule. When we broke up I was so angry so I deleted the pics he was in off my Instagram, so he went ahead and blocked me.
    He still had my sister on Instagram so he could see what she would post that was related to me.
    There was a video of me and my sister and a couple of guys in a bar, after he saw that, he messaged me saying “never expected you to be this low” and he blocked me on Whatsapp and deleted my pics from his Instagram and unfollowed my sister!

    While he himself was partying and adding girls on Instagram and liking his exs pictures the whole time since we broke up!
    I don’t know if I should continue with the nc or talk to him about it !
    It feels like a really bad sign

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 14, 2016 at 7:45 pm

      Hi Analis,

      talking to him after what he did would be chasing, so just let him be. It can be ego talking..

  5. Avatar

    Kristen

    November 3, 2016 at 2:29 pm

    Hi! My ex and I broke up at the beginning of October. He immediately started dating a new girl, who I now believe he was talking too before we even broke up. He sent me a follow request for instagram, but according to you guys I should not add him back on any of my social media as I would be “flip flopping”. Am I understanding that correctly? He has friends and family that still have me added on social media so I know he is seeing what I post… I’ve done great so far with the NC but he texted me this morning and asked me if I gave him an STD, which I know I did not (I have been to the doctors twice since we have been together for physicals and everything is clear 🙂 ). How should I handle this? I want to say something like “I was just at the doctors this week and got checked and I am negative for anything”, but should I do that or should I stick with the no contact? Thanks for the help!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 5, 2016 at 3:07 pm

      Hi Kristen,

      you shouldnt add him back during the no contact rule. When did you start? Are you actively improving yourself? You can reply to him about that since it’s a health issue but if he knows you didnt and it looks like he’s just checking if you would reply, dont reply..

  6. Avatar

    Crag

    October 24, 2016 at 7:56 pm

    She wanted no contact, blocked me from Facebook, Instagram and Phone Number but she still reads all of my Snapchat Story Updates and has been caught stalking my Instagram by her friends. I broke the no contact after 21 days to no reply so I’m going to try start again either for 30 days or until she messages me next. Could I really use Snapchat to keep my positives in her mind to try and be even with the “Night Out Pictures” which are indirectly aimed at me on her Story?

    1. Avatar

      Crag

      October 26, 2016 at 9:38 pm

      Hi Amor,

      The break up message said that she couldn’t handle being in a relationship at the time due to being under high amount of stress outside of the relationship. Also because of which she felt as though she had realised she preferred to live alone not having to worry about anyone else (Even though she never had to worry about me). She said the battle with her thoughts was a long one even though just a week before when we were physically together she had been telling me how much she didn’t want us to end. She said she wanted to carry on as we were but without labels, still seeing each other and having laughs but I feel that was just a line for her to feel less guilty as clearly being blocked from everything she doesn’t want to deliver on that. Even funnier, at the end of the break up message it looks like she wrote me a recommendation like an employer

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 26, 2016 at 11:46 am

      hi Crag,

      do nc for yourself..even if she is the one who started it, make this nc to focus in healing and improving yourself,.not for getting even.. Yes, you are using social media to influence your image in her, but your actions or the activities should be for yourself.. So, that whatever happens, you’ve already started changing..

      why did you break up?

  7. Avatar

    Elena

    October 20, 2016 at 9:32 pm

    Should I post pictures of myself and things even if I’m doing the no contact for a month? I mean aren’t I suppose to disappeared from his life during that time? Or is it good that follow the no contact rule but do post things on social media.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 22, 2016 at 3:57 pm

      Hi Elena,

      it would be better if you keep being active in social media..just dont like his posts or comments and dont stalk him in social media

  8. Avatar

    Sad

    October 18, 2016 at 9:47 am

    Hey… So my boyfriend’s dad called me and asked me about his studies and other stuff as joe stays in a hostel.. I told his dad that joe is doing too much drugs and him his video my boyfriend got to know about the video and broke up with me.. I was just making his parents aware of what he was doing. He isnt replying me… He liked my pic on instagram a day after but after that he didnt like any of my posts… He loves me alot… I think he is angry on me… Was i wrong on sendin that video? Will he come back? Or should i use NC rule?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 19, 2016 at 9:39 pm

      Hi Sad
      you sent a video of him doing drugs to his parents? First, he’s doing something wrong, you shouldnt be worried that he’s angry because you’re trying to look out for him.. Maybe the only thing that you could have done was to talk to him first before talking to his parents about him..and telling him that if he doesnt change, you would inform his parents because he needs help.
      If that’s what you did, then you did the right thing.. If he really loves you, he will change…Being guilty about what you did means you’re willing to let go of your values and principles just for the person to stay.. That’s not love.. That’s insecurity.. It means you’re just afraid to be alone..

  9. Avatar

    Maggie

    October 14, 2016 at 8:38 pm

    My ex has been liking a number of my posts (usually at least one a week) for the past month. He even stepped it up and made a comment on one thing I posted. I have not contacted him or liked anything of his for all of this time. I know that his liking my posts/photos means he’s thinking of me and that maybe he’s missing me (or maybe he’s just trying to make me miss him). But when do I make any response? Do I like a photo he posts? Or do I wait for him to directly contact me? Does my “ignoring” his attempts so far make him feel dejected, or will the non-response make him step up his game and actually make a real contact with directly me by either txt, message or call?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 15, 2016 at 3:48 am

      Hi Maggie,

      do you mean you’re in no contact rule right now? You can initiate a text after it.. yes, the no contact rule can increase your chances, but it’s not a guaranteed answer that he will come back because of it.. are you actively improving yourself?

  10. Avatar

    B

    October 10, 2016 at 6:10 pm

    My boyfriend left me to pay attention to his new job after 2 years. We went 5 days no contact and he came back. I had my wall up hard because I didn’t trust him yet and I told him that. We were fine for like 2 or 3 weeks, I was naturally stressing out hard about my last semester of school and the fact that he would leave me again. I told him I was scared and was going to need reassurance this time and for him to prove to me that he wouldn’t bolt again. I had a huge mental break down and he ended up saying he couldn’t deal with me. He would always tell me how much he loves me and wanted to be with me. He was also scared of me graduating and moving far away even though I assured him if I couldn’t be with him there wouldn’t be anyone else and he continuously got jealous. He dumped me again and I got mad and threw out all of his stuff (he doesnt know) and i deleted his number and unfriended him on facebook. A few days later I was feeling better and changed my profile pic to me smiling as big as I could (my favorite pic) and as soon as he saw it, he blocked me. This was like 6 days ago and I am still blocked. Will the no contact rule still help? or at least should I even have faith anymore that he is hurting as bad as I am and regrets losing me?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 11, 2016 at 11:30 am

      HI B,

      There’s not guarantee that it will work but it’s the only thing that can help you both be less emotional now..

  11. Avatar

    Sherie

    October 6, 2016 at 11:34 pm

    Does it matter if he likes the photos or not? I posted a recent photo of me getting my hair done and I’m sure he saw it. He liked his other friends’ photos but not mine. Does it mean anything?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 9, 2016 at 4:06 pm

      Hi Sherie,

      not really..juzt keep being active

  12. Avatar

    Meeran

    September 30, 2016 at 3:33 pm

    Having come across several sources, I have noticed that posting on social media post break-up is a common strategy. Given the now increasingly frequent advice regarding this however, I wonder if it has lost its effectiveness? Especially if the ex in question is aware this is a ploy to get him/her jealous? What are your thoughts on this? And how would you counter this?

    1. Avatar

      Meeran

      October 20, 2016 at 3:44 pm

      He’s mentioned it before as a strategy people use to make their exes jealous (I think he was making a generalisation). I don’t think he was referencing me because I didn’t employ that strategy until we broke up months after. It just dawned on me recently that he’s made this observation in the past so I wonder if it’s still effective.

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 22, 2016 at 11:33 am

      ah, yeah it’s still effective.. especially if it’s really something that’s normal to post like going out with friends, what activity you’re doing, etc..

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 1, 2016 at 3:56 pm

      Hi Meeran,

      what do you mean that he is aware? Did you do that before to get him back?

  13. Avatar

    Rylee

    September 27, 2016 at 5:39 pm

    We officially broke up Friday but talked yesterday so i am starting NC today. I’m so happy i found this site. We dated for 4 and a half years but decided we felt as though it was comfort and we needed to “find ourselves” since we started dating so young (freshman in high school now we are sophomores in college) (thats what he said) but I don’t see myself with anyone else. Anyway, I am wondering if I should not post anything for a while on social media (mainy instagram) so he wonders how i’m doing?? or how long should I wait to post anything?? I can’t tell if its better to just go on a social media cleanse and make him wonder or to post something… Also his birthday is in 2 weeks and It’ll be the 6th birthday I’ve known him for so not saying anything to him will be so hard, I feel like it will make it worse!!
    ps. just writing all that made me feel a little better h

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 28, 2016 at 6:12 pm

      Hi Rylee,

      try just one week of being silent in social media, and then be active again. Check this one about birthdays during the no contact rule:
      EBR 057: Birthdays And The No Contact Rule

  14. Avatar

    Confusion

    September 15, 2016 at 2:00 pm

    Ugh I’m so confused. Did my NC period, he was texting me like crazy. But we have mutual friends and last weekend everyone was out celebrating a friends bday. I talked on the phone at one point w one of my friends Chris, I could feel him watching me the whole time, wondering who I was laughing w on the phone. Later when I walked home, he said “be safe” and then I posted a photo Sunday on Instagram, he liked it immediately but hasn’t liked anything since or reached out to me since. There were multiple times during the night we all hung out that I felt like he was trying to emotionally connect to him, I listened but kept him brief. Not sure what he’s feeling now or if he still cares.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 17, 2016 at 2:47 pm

      Hi Confusion,

      those are good signs.. just don’t rush it.. It looks like he’s missing you.

  15. Avatar

    Zoe

    September 8, 2016 at 3:37 pm

    What do I do if my ex-boyfriend unfollowed me on instagram and facebook? He said he needed space a week earlier, but then I realized he went and contact his ex-girlfriend, probably wanting to get back with her. But she made it clear that she must move on and do not want to get back together. Then a few days after, he first unfollowed his exgirlfriend, ad then he unfollowed me along with some other people. What do I do now if I want him back?

    1. Avatar

      Zoe

      September 9, 2016 at 4:47 pm

      Yes, It’s almost a week I got in the no contact rule. He still posts everyday quotes of the bible to me everyday though. However, I can’t imagine why he decided to cut down almost all the connections between us.

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 9, 2016 at 3:39 pm

      Hi Zoe,

      nothing.. and are you going to do the no contact rule? Listen to this one: EBR 048: My Ex Boyfriend Unfriended Me On Facebook…. What Does It Mean?

  16. Avatar

    Chloe

    September 1, 2016 at 1:05 am

    My ex fiance never got jealous.. Like i told him my ex texted me and he asked me if when you guys are going to hang out.. I was like what the heck… He said i can meet but no touching. I told him deep conversation can be more dangerous than touching. Then he said “you are right”… And he said I can get a drink from other guys at a bar. But no touching… How can I make him jealous? Even if he sees the picture of me with other guys he would think they are just her friends…

    1. Avatar

      Chloe

      September 5, 2016 at 4:31 am

      My friend found out he has a girl now.. (My friend is still friends on facebook) So he blocked me everywhere not to see it.
      Be broke off the engagement a week before wedding day becuase we fought a lot and he got scared if we will divorce over fighting… It was 3 weeks ago.. And last contact was 2weeks ago.. And now he is dating a girl… We had been together for 6months.. But we were engaged and broke off and then meet a girl in 2 weeks..

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 6, 2016 at 9:58 am

      that might be a rebound.. stay focused in improving yourself now.. so if he checks he will think you have changed

    3. Avatar

      Chloe

      September 4, 2016 at 8:44 am

      It has been 2weeks of NC but he deleted his instagram account and made a new one, he blocked me on facebook(even though we were not friends on fb), and deleted me on snapchat… Instread of missing me or contacting me, he deleted me on all social media… I guess he blocked me on text message too… What to do now?? I am so lost….

    4. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 4, 2016 at 4:22 pm

      Now, I think he’s getting jealous.. he didnt expect you to change.. dont apologize.. you didnt mention why you broke up. Why?

    5. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 1, 2016 at 1:31 pm

      Just continue being active in social media.. When you’re back to talking and you’ve built enough rapport again, then that’s the time you can apologize.. and just continue posting too.. you’ll never know what he really thinks about especially now that you’re not talking to each other.

  17. Avatar

    Anna

    July 14, 2016 at 2:00 pm

    I was dating a guy for a while, things ended badly (he dumped me for someone else) and then things ended badly for him (she dumped him). Months later, he got back in touch and apologized for how he’d acted. No talk of getting back together, but I think he’s not interested in any relationship right now. We made up and gradually started talking again and he re-friended me on FB. For a while, he liked most of my pictures and some posts, and I would occasionally like his. He’s not a Facebook nut, so he’s only moderately active and doesn’t post much. All of a sudden though, in the past few weeks, I’ve noticed that he doesn’t like anything I post. We haven’t had a fight and I can still see that he likes other things. He still texts me, but not as much as when we first made up. Not sure if any of this means anything.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 14, 2016 at 8:20 pm

      Hi Anna,

      you said he’s not a big fb user, I think that’s normal now that he doesn’t like most of your posts anymore because it would seem like he’s too keen on you

  18. Avatar

    Linda

    July 6, 2016 at 2:03 pm

    No, I can’t still text him. I also deleted his phone number to try to avoid any form of communication with him. His number isn’t blocked on my phone, though. I don’t know if I should break NC, just to friend him and then re-start or wait until NC is over and then do so. I know part of it is making sure they see you on social media, so I’m not sure how to go forward from here.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 7, 2016 at 1:23 pm

      nope just continue being active with your life and in social media. He can still check your profile through a different account, so contnue to be active

  19. Avatar

    Cee

    July 6, 2016 at 2:42 am

    my ex watches allll my snaps everyday and even posts random stuff to get my attention even though he doesnt have friends on sc. Is he possibly missing me? he even messaged me something really random after weeks of not talking.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 6, 2016 at 9:39 am

      Hi Cee,

      yes, looks like it

  20. Avatar

    Linda

    July 6, 2016 at 1:37 am

    What if when establishing the no contact rule, I decided to remove my exes presence completely from my life (i.e. unfollowing him on everything, blocking him, unfriending him). He reiterated consistently that he wanted to remain friends directly after the break up, and decided to take a “break” from the relationship (which he ended). After the failed break, I tried to remove everything to avoid Facebook stalking or any form of contact. How do I move forward from that? Do I just refriend him once the no contact period is over?

    1. Avatar

      Linda

      July 6, 2016 at 1:12 pm

      No, I also deleted his phone number. I knew if I didn’t, I’d reach out again. It isn’t blocked though, so if he tries to reach out to me, he can. Facebook would be the only feasible way I could reach out at this point.

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 7, 2016 at 1:23 pm

      nope just continue being active with your life and in social media. He can still check your profile through a different account, so contnue to be active

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 6, 2016 at 9:36 am

      Hi Linda,

      that’s just on social media right? you can still text him?

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