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378 thoughts on “EBR 024: Using Social Media To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

  1. Jane

    November 2, 2017 at 8:11 pm

    Hello, so my ex and I have had no contact for 7 months now and the last time we spoke it ended badly he ended up telling a mutual friend some rude things about me and saying he didnt want to talk to me for awhile. I blocked my ex on everything except on my phone and my one instagram page since its private. But a month ago he requested me on instagram. He hasnt spoken to me or anything just this request. I didnt ignore or accept the request. I just left it there. I do miss him but I also dont want to seem desperate. What does the request mean? Why hasn’t he said anything? What do you think I should do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 4, 2017 at 12:35 am

      Hi Jane

      it’s too little of an act to assume anything but it’s safe to say that if you accept it, you can at least start from there if you want to rebuild rapport.

  2. Jennifer Tran

    October 1, 2017 at 8:46 pm

    I made the mistake of unfriending my boyfriend on facebook and unfollowing him on instagram. What should I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 2, 2017 at 7:41 pm

      He Jennifer,

      Make your posts public

  3. Giselle

    September 25, 2017 at 10:32 pm

    Hi,

    We broke up 2 days ago. We did love each other a lot and has a very special bond. He chased me for a long time until we finally started dating 4 months ago. We had a few fights here and there and I noticed him pulling away a little. We stopped seeing each other in person, he stopped doing all the little things he did at the beginning. However, I wanna stress that he was REALLY happy to have me in his life. He always said things like “I thank God for you everyday” and “you’re so special” and “you’re the best girl I’ve ever met”. We had a physical as well as emotional connection and we had a friendship underneath it all. He would always bring up marriage and said “I’ll marry you” and “I’ll put a ring on it soon”. Then, I suggested to take yet another break and I know he HATES when I do that, so he always gets defensive, so from one day to the next, he completely changed his tune and told me he’s getting married to a stranger because he felt it was right. We had a fight one night and I was the first to contact him and may have looked needy as I was the first to contact him after 2 weeks? Maybe this put him off a little as he was always putting me on a pedestal and had been the one to chase as I was the “ungettable girl” for him. It’s very strange though that he said he loves me but will get married to her. Is he being honest it is it just a response to my break suggestion? I asked him to stay, but he left anyway. Now, in the past we have been in and out of each other’s lives. We broke up one time before and he came back after 6 months, but I broke up with him last time. This time he ended it, so not sure what he’s thinking. Is it normal behaviour to be marrying someone he doesn’t love? When literally two nights ago he was telling me how much he loves being in love with me?! Since 3 weeks he hasn’t seen me in person OR any pictures, so maybe changing my display picture or something can be useful as he’s very attracted to me physically? He has a tendency to lie sometimes, so do you think he is really getting married or just wants to leave? Please answer all of these questions as I could not be any more confused!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 28, 2017 at 8:52 pm

      HI Giselle,
      being active in social media during and after nc means being active in posting, not just changing a profile pic.. if he’s constant lier, then he probably just lied about that.

  4. Giselle

    September 25, 2017 at 4:28 am

    Hi,

    My question is about the guy who I have known for 2 years. We got romantically involved 4 months ago. I was always the “ungettable girl” to him, until he smooth talked my pants off and I became gettable to him. Maybe that made him lose respect? In short words, we love each other and have a very special bond. It’s almost like we’re kindred spirits. He always stresses that no matter what happens he will never ever forget me and that I’m “so special to him” and how I have put a spell on him etc. This guy is not a player and is very genuine. I can tell has feelings for me were declining gradually though as now we would see each other once every two weeks. Recently, we had a fight and he hung up the phone after we both said things we don’t mean. He loves me more than I love him and he always says that he’s aware of that. For the first time ever, I called him first after 2 weeks to resolve the “fight”. When he picked up he was a little distant and aloof, but still talking about marriage like he normally would. In my heart I feel like I was acting “too available”, which may have repelled him a little. He always loved chasing me. He always says that he will marry me. He was very ready for marriage anyway. Things haven’t quite been the same after I called him after the fight. He came across as less interested and more and more aloof. At this point I hadn’t seen him for 3 weeks. All this communication was done through phone calls. Until two nights ago we had another small difference of opinion and I said to him “This isn’t going anywhere”, but I didn’t mean it at all. He must have taken that to heart, even though a day after that he was telling me how much he loved me and how he “thanks God for me everyday and prays for me” and how “he loves being in love”. Then, on Saturday night he wanted to hang out but I was already out with my friend. He has major trust issues and thought I was cheating on him. THEN, on Sunday I texted him to talk to him and called him too many times to ask if he wanted to hang out today instead, but he just replied with a text saying “I’m busy right now”. Then, I told him I’m leaving for 2 months. In our “relationship”, I always initiate taking breaks from each other and he HATES this and gets defensive about it. I did the same on Sunday and said I’m leaving for 2 months anyway, to which he replied that he’s getting engaged to a girl he feels will be a good wife. He said he loves me but will marry her as it feels right. I sort of started begging him to stay with me (very unlike me), but he left anyway. Told me how much he will miss me etc, but still left. Now my question is: Is this normal behaviour? How can someone go from saying things like “I thank God for you everyday” and “I’ll marry you soon”, to wanting to marry someone he doesn’t know?!? Two nights ago he said he “loves being in love”, but he isn’t in love with the other girl he told me. He does have a tendency to lie here and there, so is he just saying that because I initiated yet ANOTHER break? Also, he’s very physically and emotionally attracted/attached to me as well, so should I use pictures as a way to get him back because he hasn’t seen my face either in real life or a picture for 3 weeks, so maybe social media (such as changing my display picture) will be effective? or do you think there’s no point as he’s getting “engaged” to a stranger..? But I feel like he’s lying cause he was acting jealous and all the things he normally says..

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 28, 2017 at 8:24 pm

      HI Giselle,
      being active in social media during and after nc means being active in posting, not just changing a profile pic.. if he’s constant lier, then he probably just lied about that.

  5. Joy

    August 3, 2017 at 4:57 pm

    My boyfriend of a year was acting strange one day, so I forced him to tell me what was wrong. Keep in mind that he really did not want to say anything at this time. We got into a major discussion about how he didn’t know how he felt anymore, wasn’t sure if he wanted to be with me, said it was okay when we together but annoying apart, and that he loved me but not in the way he used to. I went through all the stages during that discussion. I begged, bargained, said optimistically that we could get through this, cried, tried to get pity, and ended the conversation angry. During this conversation he said he wasn’t trying to break up with me, yet, but just didn’t know what he wanted. Later I texted him and said that I was sorry for the things I said, I was just hurting and ended the text with saying I hope that we can work this out. The next day I started no contact. It’s been 18 days since then and nothing. The first day of no contact, he liked my Facebook post about something fun I was doing. He’s not on Facebook or any social media very much and when he is he rarely likes anything. Last week he started to like my Instagram posts, which is really weird because he hasn’t been on Instagram in 6 months or so. I’ve been avoiding stalking him on anything but yesterday I caved and looked at his Facebook. I noticed that the day before he liked my instagram, he shared the results of a quiz predicting his wedding date, which said it was in five months. This is really really out of character for him because although he sometimes takes those quizzes, he never shares them on Facebook. It’s just really weird to me, trying to figure out why he would decide to share that particular result. The next time I posted an Instagram was to test him. He liked it only an hour after I posted, plus he liked the same post on Facebook. Now I’m wondering what my next step should be. I know I’ll continue with no contact, but should I keep posting fun, happy Instagram pictures? Or should I stop posting any social media and make him wonder what happened? I feel like he might have been trying to get my attention in the safest way… We had an amazing relationship and were super understanding each other, but then my anxiety disorder started to get really bad. I was in an abusive marriage in the past, so I have major anxiety. We talked about marriage a lot, he was always the one to bring it up. Please help!!

    1. Joy

      August 4, 2017 at 9:36 pm

      He didn’t like my last two posts. Should I be worried at all? I know I should probably stop obsessing, but it’s really hard. I was a little hopeful when he started liking my posts after 2 weeks of no contact, but now he seemed to stop. I just really hope I still have a chance to get him back.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 6, 2017 at 4:32 pm

      Nope..focus in yourself

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 3, 2017 at 5:30 pm

      Hi Joy,

      Yeo, you should be actively improving yourself and actively posting..so, yes, continue

  6. emily

    August 2, 2017 at 8:14 pm

    my ex and i split after 7 years together a few weeks ago. i ended things because the past two months he’s been distant and saying he isn’t happy with me. he called me last week to check up on me and i kept it very brief. he’s not active on social media at all except to change his status to single. i have been nc for the past 3 weeks with minimal contact to get my things (we lived together). how do i use social media to make him jealous when he isn’t active on social media and we aren’t friends?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 5, 2017 at 6:46 pm

      Have you exchanged all items ny now?

  7. sarah

    July 31, 2017 at 1:41 am

    Hi there,

    I have a question…. what if we are both not very active on social media? My ex only has a FB account and he’s rarely on it.. I mean, he still has a picture of us as his profile picture and we broke up 3 weeks ago. And I’m not very active on FB either.. I never like/share any posts and i change my picture maybe once a year. so if i started posting a lot, wouldn’t that be odd or obvious that i was trying to get his attention? which i dont even think he would notice because he doesnt go on it that often.

    1. sarah

      August 12, 2017 at 6:15 am

      Hi,

      So an update:
      Previously I stated that my ex does not use FB often, he changed his profile pic a while ago and it is no longer of us. I was sad, but he did that the first time we broke up (9 months ago). Today, I found out that he deleted ALL the pictures of us on his FB. This is very unlike him because 1) he did not do that the first time we broke up 2) he doesn’t use FB that often let alone looks at his own page.. 3) when he broke up with his previous gf (they dated for a year), he did not delete or untag himself in anything…

      We dated for 2 years 3 months, and he made me feel like I was truly special. He told me things like he has never loved anyone as much as me, for the first time he had found a life partner, I was the love of his life etc etc. I’m the only girl that has met his parents/family, hung out with his close friends, met his coworkers + invited to xmas work dinners..

      When we broke this time around, he said that we won’t get back together until we’re both at different points in our lives. We would fight about how he doesnt have that much free time for me because he would prioritize work, and so when he said that, it made sense because right now I dont understand the pressures of working full time/building a career because im still in school. But am i suppose to move on but not really move on??
      With the whole FB thing and now this, I’m just doubting how he felt about me, and what he meant by “not immediately get back together” … Is he keeping me around, while he moves on and looks for other girls (and deleting traces of me off FB would make this easier)

    2. sarah

      August 5, 2017 at 7:20 pm

      Hi its me again….

      So recently i found out that he remade his instagram… Ok backstory: we broke up once before, and during that time he made a new instagram and he followed all his friends AND my friends (weird) and i didnt find out until a couple weeks after… and he didnt follow me, which is expected. he didnt post anything either so it wasnt very interesting, he probably made it because he was bored. ANYWAY, so we got back together, and everything was good but then he deleted it again a few months after. ok fast forward to now…

      we’re broken up, im on day 14 of NC… and i noticed that he remade another instagram account very recently. This time he’s only following one architectural account (he’s moving in a month, so maybe for inspo?), and has no followers/no posts. Im thinking he wanted to keep it a secret or something. the only reason why i know of this new account is because he looked at my instagram story last week, and yesterday, and the day before that. I dont think he knows that i can see him looking at my stories (because he’s not very into social media, like i said above).

      What does this mean?? Do you think he’s checking up on me? Is this a good sign? …I’m worried that he won’t reach out to me since this is our second breakup (we were together for 2+ years) We ended on good terms, and he said that he wants to be friends and we can still hang out and talk but he hasn’t reached out to me at all.. (even if he does, i wont respond because of NC but im still curious as to why he’s silent) Thoughts?

      Thanks amor!!

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 7, 2017 at 6:46 pm

      Yuo, that’s a good sign..it looks like he made it to check your posts

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 31, 2017 at 4:14 pm

      It depends on what your posts are.. If it’s normal post like your activities, thats5 ok..but if its like captioned im moving on or not regretting..then that’s so obvious

  8. Ramiza

    July 25, 2017 at 11:53 am

    Can I change my status to single during no contact period? I am angry over my ex for saying lame reason to me and flirting with other girls. Please do reply me soon… Shall I go and shout at him my pain and start no contact rule?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 25, 2017 at 6:26 pm

      Nope.. don’t do anything out of anger.You’ll regret those..focus in improving yourself

  9. May

    July 4, 2017 at 7:34 am

    Hey, my ex and I had some problems which lead for a breakup.. it was breakup initially but i literally begged him to stay.. he contacted me a day after that and told me it’s a break… i told him okay whatever it’s a break but i can’t be your friend.. it’s either all or nothing.. he said but if we breakup i care about you!! i wanna know everything you’re doing!! ( which hurts cuz it shows he could break up with me after the break ).. anyway he told me block me off of your snapchat story ( he could still talk to me but not see my story ) i said okay you too.. today he’s posting a snap ( which means he didn’t block me of the story ) should I let him see my snaps or should I really block him and keep him wondering?

    I really want him back though! plz help

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 5, 2017 at 4:53 pm

      You should..and you should post in sites where the posts doesn’t disappear like Facebooj

  10. Anne

    June 14, 2017 at 5:47 am

    Broke up with long sistance boyfriend 2 months ago but kept in touch as “friends”. Recentlt recieved a job oportunity near his city which made both of us happy. 3 weeks ago he writes it might not be a good idea to see each other given different values and beliefs (something he never had a problem with before). I was really sad he didnt even want to see me as a friend and decided I meeded some apace to think things through. So now, 2 weeks into nc and out of nowhere he posts some pictures of a woman on instagram. It has be crazy! Who is she? Why would he do that now?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 14, 2017 at 5:01 pm

      it’s probably rebound.. are you improving yourself and being active in posting in social media?

  11. Bryn

    June 1, 2017 at 12:22 pm

    Hi,
    My bf broke up with me after 3.5 years. Said he had fallen out of love with me and that he had been considering the breakup for a few months. Following the breakup platitudes were exchanged which I regret, and I’ve been in NC for 10 days. Have received one text from him telling me good luck for my exams and he has liked all of my FB posts (I’ve been throwing myself into new activities etc.). I would have thought that him not liking my posts meant he was angry I hadn’t responded and that I haven’t liked his posts which would be good as it shows he’s annoyed I haven’t paid attention to him. But now I think that he’s liking the posts to show he still cares and is waiting for me to be ready for a friendship. I don’t want to be friend zoned! What should I do? Any help would be amazing!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 1, 2017 at 6:29 pm

      finish your nc, do at least 30 days, and keep improving while you’re slowly building rapport with him

  12. Peanut Butter

    May 15, 2017 at 10:23 am

    Hi! Already on my 8th day of nc when I come across my ex liking another girls updated profile picture. Does this mean anything?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 15, 2017 at 4:36 pm

      it can mean a lot of things.. maybe to make you jealous, or he just really likes that post but the bottomline is, you have to ignore it and not worry about it because it’s not going to help you

  13. Caro

    April 30, 2017 at 3:11 pm

    Hello!
    My bf and I broke up partly due to distance and partly due to him not being willing to commit. I did 30 days NC and he would periodically like my posts on FB and Instagram and look at my Snapchat stories. When I reached out I got a positive response and he even started intimating texts. He was dating a girl but that seems to have ended but he’s not intimating texts anymore and sometimes doesn’t reply to mine. BUT he has upped the frequency of posts he’s liking and this is across all social media platforms. He knows I’m moving to his town in a month and has even liked a post relating to that recently. I was just wondering what your advice would be for me or your thoughts on how he’s feeling towards me. We talk maybe 3 times a week right now but nothing serious and he’s never been a great texter…

    1. Caro

      May 1, 2017 at 10:50 pm

      Amir,
      We never really called each other. Mostly it was just texting and lots of one on one time. I was wondering what you thought of his activity on my social media. Does it align with what Chris says that he’s doing it on purpose? Does this mean that he misses me? I won’t be able to escalate to in person until I move there next month…

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 2, 2017 at 6:49 pm

      yes, it’s a good sign from him..if you dont call, and he’s not great texter but you always text, that means you have to use better topics and use ones that he always loves talking about

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 1, 2017 at 10:44 am

      if you’re better in calls, transition to calls.

  14. Miri

    April 21, 2017 at 7:17 pm

    hey! my ex is not looking at my snapchat stories anymore, and he alwys used to open them but not anymore, also not liking my pics on Instagram, does this mean he is angry or has moved on? it has been only 9 days

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 26, 2017 at 2:10 pm

      just keep being active in posting..but do it more in sites that the post stays like Instagram and Facebook..

  15. Manda

    April 21, 2017 at 10:11 am

    Hi,
    So me my boyfriend broke up with me after 8 years. It’s only been like 6 weeks since we broke up . We don’t really much, and last week I just found out that he has been “hanging ” with a new girl . Which he tells everyone she is just a friend. Well once we broke up I put my social media on private. Today I wake up to see that he friend requested me. What should I do? Should I accept it ? He keep saying he wants to be my friend but I don’t know if I’m ready for that. I am still healing

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 26, 2017 at 4:45 pm

      If you’re not ready, it’s your right to take your time

  16. Erin

    April 1, 2017 at 3:13 am

    Chris,
    I’m using the advice and my ex is literally deleting me and telling his friends it is “because it is too hard to see me.” Is it good that he is deleting me?!?
    I haven’t posted anything too risky just drinks, and having fun with friends (no other guys or anything) and he first deleted me from Snapchat. I didn’t send him any directly, only stories, and he was watching them all. Then I posted a picture of a sunset on twitter a week later and he deleted me on twitter. What gives?
    I’m only half way through no contact and have been following the advice to a tee. Why would he be deleting me as I post stuff?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 2, 2017 at 4:41 pm

      Hi Erin,

      that’s good..that means he’s still affected by you

  17. An

    March 26, 2017 at 6:37 am

    Hi, im kinda confused right now.
    My ex bf just deleted all of our photos on his facebook. Does it mean that he has moved on? He no longer want to see or hear me in his life? Does it mean I have little chance to get back w him? He broke up with me 2 weeks ago.
    Im scared. And devastated. Please help me..

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 26, 2017 at 10:18 am

      Hi An,

      do you want to try the advice in the first post you commented?
      check this one too:
      How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Desire You Again

  18. Danielle N

    March 19, 2017 at 2:32 am

    This article covers one aspect of social media. But my question is, do I like some
    Of his photos? He only has instagram. And we follow each other. He likes all of my pics. But do like his?!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 24, 2017 at 8:27 am

      Hi Danielle,

      nope, dont like any of his posts in any platform..dont watch his snaps.. you don’t have to unfriend him..just dont engage nor react with his posts

  19. T

    March 18, 2017 at 12:23 am

    So what’s the strategy if you and your ex are not friends on social media? (No unfriending happened – he just doesn’t use it that often and we never bothered). Should you just post some strategic “public” photos from time to time?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 21, 2017 at 5:55 pm

      Hi T,
      continue to be active in posting..so that when he gets curious he has a lot to see..

  20. JJ

    March 13, 2017 at 7:29 am

    I have some photos of us on Instagram, should I delete them? He’s tagged in them as well, if that helps. It doesn’t really bother me if I keep them or not but will it bother him?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 15, 2017 at 9:23 am

      Hi JJ,

      you dont have to do that.. just keep on improving yourself and in posting in social media..why does he think it’s not going to work out?

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