How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Jealous

Make no mistake about it, jealousy is a very powerful emotion. If it is used correctly it can be the driving force behind getting your ex boyfriend back. There is just one problem, most people have no idea how to correctly use it. I was reading a relationship article about jealousy the other day from a pretty well known relationship coach. His article basically went on to say that you should never use jealousy to try to get your ex back. The truth is, he is talking about using jealousy the wrong way to get your ex back. If you use jealousy in a smart way it is almost guaranteed to bring up previous romantic feelings that your ex had for you.

A Note About My Site

I promise you that my site is different from anything out there right now. Not only is my information more interesting and in-depth but I am extremely involved. That means that if you leave a comment I will respond to it personally. If you email me via the contact form I will probably get back to you within the day. I wanted to create a resource where women/and men could come and get top quality advice on getting their exes back. The truth of the matter is that the amount of free information that actually works is a rare commodity but I think I have done a pretty good job of leading the way in that regard. Anyways, lets talk a little about jealousy.

What This Page Is About

I want you to view this page as the “ultimate guide” to making your ex boyfriend jealous. Now, I can’t guarantee that the tactics on this page will make him jealous because lets be honest, your boyfriend is a human being and most human beings are impossible to control. With that being said, I have seen many of the tactics outlined on this page work for many of the women I communicate with. Here is what we will be covering today:

  • Why jealousy is so powerful.
  • I am going to give you a gameplan to make your ex jealous.
  • How the NCR works with jealousy.
  • Specific text messages that can be used to make your ex jealous.

So, that is what this page will be covering. BUT I do feel it is important to mention that if you came here looking for a way to get your ex boyfriend back you aren’t going to find it. This page is aimed specifically at making him jealous and nothing more. Sure, I have built in the idea of “getting him back” on this page but I don’t go into the amount of detail that you are looking for. IF you are looking for in-depth details and step by step guides to getting an ex boyfriend or husband back I would like to point you towards Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO, my E-Book. I will just let it speak for itself..

Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO

The Power Of Jealousy


Most men aren’t as complicated as you would believe. A married friend of mine once told me a little about the psychology behind a mans thinking and I happen to agree with him. It goes like this, most men forget how good they have it when they have been dating or married for an extended period of time. This usually means that the man will ignore his woman and her needs. Here is the kicker though, if a couple like the one I am describing (a man who is comfortable and not tending to his woman’s needs) go out to a bar and the woman starts flirting with other guys the dynamic will completely change. The “comfortable” man will no longer be so comfortable. All kinds of thoughts will be going through his head: anger, worry, jealousy, insecurity. The man will feel the need to protect his “property” and while he may be initially angry, if you play your cards right his behavior will completely change and you will start getting paid attention to.

The end lesson here: women have ultimate power over men!

Now, the “mock” situation I talked about above doesn’t apply to your situation perfectly (since your boyfriend is now your ex) but I guarantee that if you play your cards right bringing up those “protective” feelings in your man is very possible.

A Word..

Before you even attempt to make your ex jealous lets talk a little about what you want your ultimate goal to be. If you want to make your ex boyfriend jealous for the sake of making him jealous then I don’t think this is the page for you. I wrote this page with the intention of helping women use jealousy to win back their exes. So, if you want to make him jealous to bring out his protective and romantic side then this is the right page for that.

That is really what you are trying to accomplish here. You don’t want to make him jealous to rub it in his face. You want to make him jealous to remind him of what he is missing out on.

Your Jealousy Gameplan

What I am going to do now is give you a brief overview of how to properly use jealousy and then I will talk about each aspect in-depth. Reference the graphic below to understand your jealousy gameplan!

jealousy plan

The No Contact Rule

The no contact rule is a must if you want to make your ex jealous. In fact, it is essential if you want to get your ex boyfriend back. I don’t want to go into too much detail here about it because I have done multiple in-depth posts about it already like this one. However, I will give you a short synopsis of how the no contact rule is supposed to work.

The No Contact Rule- You are not allowed to contact your ex in any way after the breakup for a minimum of 30 days.

How The NC Rule Works In Tandem With Jealousy

Alright, now that you have an idea of what the no contact rule is I am going to talk a little bit about the things you can do during the no contact period that can will your ex jealous. Ideally, after a breakup you need to give your ex some space (which is kind of what the no contact rule is for.) However, I don’t want to give you the impression that you are going to sit around during these 30 days of no contact and count your fingers (your not going to make your ex jealous that way.) Instead, I am going to ask you to do a few things.

Do Something During The No Contact Period… Anything

I get a lot of emails every single day (random fact- I have 9 unanswered emails in my inbox just from today) and one of the most common mistakes I see from women is the fact that they don’t do anything at all during the no contact period. Here is how it usually goes, they tell me that they can’t wait to start the no contact period one day and then two days later they email me back saying something like:

“Well, I broke NC and texted him.”


Here is the problem I have with this. When I ask women “what did you do during those two days?” they usually tell me that they didn’t do anything. Look, if you want to make your ex boyfriend jealous I seriously want you to spend those 30 days NOT thinking about him. I want you to go down the checklist I am about to provide and address all of the things on it.

Disclaimer: Some of the things on this list WILL make you uncomfortable but I am not in the business of being nice for the sake of being nice I am trying to give you advice that will help make your ex jealous and hopefully put you in a position to where you can get him back.

  • Get in the best shape of your life.
  • If you have acne I want you to get medicine to treat it
  • If you are uncomfortable with your teeth (they are bad) I want you to go to a dentist.
  • I want you to go out with your friends and have a lot of fun (take pictures, lots of pictures they will come in handy later.)
  • Buy the sexiest outfit ever (not too revealing though.)
  • Get a sexy haircut. I want you to look at yourself in the mirror after this haircut and go “OMG, I look like a goddess.” (too corny?)

No Contact Facebook Jealousy

facebook your doing it wrong

Disclaimer: This method will only work if you are still friends with your ex on Facebook. If you are no longer friends with him then don’t try to friend him… yet.

It’s amazing how big Facebook has gotten. I can remember back when I was in high school no one was talking about Facebook. All the rage was with MySpace. Funny how quickly that changed though. Anyways, I am going to give you the Facebook breakup jealousy rules now. I have found that the rules I am about to describe are the most effective at making your ex a little jealous.

  • After the breakup get rid of 95% of the pictures with you and your ex boyfriend. Pick out maybe one or two that your really like and keep them (you don’t want your ex to think he doesn’t have a chance at all to get back with you.)
  • Remember when I told you to take lots of pictures of you having fun with friends? Post those pictures.
  • If you have taken any pictures with guys while you were out having fun post those too. DO NOT post a picture of you kissing a guy. Trust me, this will hurt your chances of getting your ex back big time.
  • If your ex “likes” one of your photos or status updates do not do anything, just let it be.
  • Do not “like” any of your ex boyfriends updates or pictures. Just leave him be for now.

Dating During No Contact?

dating bear

If you are an avid reader of this site then you may be aware that I am very much in favor of going out on a date with someone new during the no contact period. Actually, if you reference the “Ex Boyfriend Jealousy Plan” above you will notice that I put “Dating” as the last little bubble. When I said dating in the bubble above I meant dating other people. I am actually talking about it in this section because I believe that going out on a date (even if you have no intention of actually dating the person) is best to do during the no contact period.

Now, I will say that this is a completely optional step but it can be very effective. Especially if your ex boyfriend catches wind of it. I want you to take a moment and imagine how you have felt when, in your previous relationships you caught wind that your ex went out on a date with a new girl. Now, imagine your ex feeling that very emotion. Sure, he will be angry and sad but I promise you at the end of the day he is going to question why he ever let you go.

Building Rapport With Your Boyfriend


Now, if you followed my no contact advice above perfectly then I would imagine your ex has already gotten jealous but in the case that he hasn’t, don’t worry, we haven’t even gotten to the best stuff but we are about to! Eventually your no contact period of 30 days is going to end. The question is, what are you supposed to do then? Well, now it is time to open communication with your ex via text messaging. Why text messaging, well I wrote a whole article on it here.

Now, I am aware that you are looking for an exact step by step method for what you need to say to your ex but I am not going to get into that here because this page is supposed to only be about the ways you can make your ex jealous (I actually put together a guide about how you can use texting to get your ex back already.) What I will do is give you a few ground rules that you need to follow when contacting your ex.

  • You should aim to be in control of the conversation at all times.
  • If he doesn’t respond then DO NOT text him again. Wait a few days and try again.
  • Patience really is a virtue. You need to be very patient and realize that this is not going to happen overnight.
  • If you get angry or upset simply bow out of the conversation.
  • Don’t try to fix your broken relationship over a text message, it won’t work.
  • Don’t ask to meet up with your ex boyfriend.
  • Do not use texting as a booty call (you’d be surprised.)

Showing That You Are In Control Of The Conversation

control freak

This is so important that I gave it it’s very own section. Showing that you have control of the conversation is very important for a number of reasons. In college, I began to notice a pattern between the girls I liked and the girls I didn’t like anymore. You see, I will admit that I am a little complicated. I can see a pretty girl and like her immediately. However, if she doesn’t challenge me, intellectually or emotionally, I will lose interest. One thing that I noticed between the girls that held my interest and the ones that didn’t was that girls who allowed me to be in control of the conversation didn’t interest me as much.

For me, and most other guys, it is a case of “Oh, I can have her anytime I want because I can tell she is trying too hard to get me.” Of course, the flip scenario goes like this. A girl who dominated the conversation literally can have men wrapped around her finger. I am not afraid to admit that I have been reduced to feeling pathetic by some girls because they felt they “could have me” anytime they wanted. I have named the phenomenon I described her as being “ungettable”

The “Ungettable” Persona- A type of persona that a girl can display. She basically has so much confidence that she reduces a guy into thinking that he can’t get her which really turns 85% of guys on. Achieving this persona is essential if you want to get your ex boyfriend back.

Achieving the ungettable persona is not easy. However, one thing that all “ungettable” girls have in common is that they dominate any conversation they are in with the opposite sex. So, I suppose the question now becomes, how do you dominate a texting conversation?

Well, luckily for you I have been on the receiving end of quite a few ungettable girls so I can tell you some of the tactics that they were able to use on me that proved to be pretty effective.

Ungettable Texting Dominance Example 1

The example below is an exact conversation I had with an unnamed “ungettable” girl. Notice how in this particular conversation she ended everything with a simple “hahahaha” and never responded to my texts after that. Now, this tactic was risky and only really worked on me because I clearly had feelings for the girl. Nevertheless, I was the one putting more effort into the conversation which meant she was in control.

jealousy text

Ungettable Texting Dominance Example 2 (What Not To Do)

I wanted to include this example, even though it is personally very embarrassing to me. Remember, I am just going through my phone in the last six months and pulling out conversations with girls who I really really really liked. A couple of things to note: this girl was probably the most attractive girl I have ever met. She came up and asked to dance with me at a local bar. Anyways, she dominated the conversation so much that I literally felt like I had no chance so I just gave up even though I really liked her. So, this is kind of an example of what NOT to do.

example 2 not to do

There is a lot more to the story but as you can see she dominated the very first conversation we had. I really liked her so I texted her the next day but I could never find my groove. I always felt like I wasn’t good enough and she would simply bow out of the conversations whenever she would like.

Bowing Out Of The Conversations By Not Responding- This is a pretty effective way to establish control. However, if you do it too much the guy will think he doesn’t have a chance with you. That was what happened above. So, I say if you are going to use this tactic make sure you use it sparingly.

Ungettable Texting Dominance Example 3 (Recommended)

I think that this example is really the perfect way to “control” the conversation. This is another example out of my phone with a girl who I liked once upon a time. I actually sat next to her in a college class and we developed a friendship. Once again, she wasn’t too beautiful but she definitely had the “ungettable” persona. Now, I want to note a couple of things: Notice how she had me hooked in the conversation. Also, the way she ended the conversation first was perfect. She sent the last two texts really closely together so I didn’t even have time to respond before she “had to go.”

example 3

Jealousy Texts

Since we are on the subject of texting lets talk a little about the most important type of text if you want to make your ex boyfriend jealous, the jealousy texts. Using jealousy via a text message is a subtle art. In a way, you want to make your ex aware that you are out having fun with other guys that aren’t him but it won’t go over too well if you straight up text him “hey I was out on a date last night and I did blah blah blah.” Yeaaa…. you need to be really subtle at the way you work jealousy into your text messages. I am going to give you two really clever examples below that demonstrate this point. Now, there are thousands of ways to work jealousy into a text message but you are going to have to get creative because I am just going to give you these two examples (I am getting a little tired of writing to be honest haha.)

Romantic Movie

The romantic movie jealousy text I can’t take credit for. A guy named Michael Fiore really came up with it but I actually think it is really clever. Basically, you text your ex that you went to see a romantic movie with a friend (you don’t specify if the friend is male or female.) The fact that the words romantic and friend are placed so close together in the text will make your ex boyfriend wonder a little bit.

romantic movie text

Was That You?

This is another text that I can’t take credit for. Again, Mr. Fiore deserves all the credit. Basically, in this text your are going to send your ex boyfriend a message saying something like “was that you at (place you frequent) last night.” If you want to get really aggressive with it you can add in “if it was, you looked really good ;)”

jealousy (did I see you at)

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246 Responses to How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Jealous
  1. Sar
    March 31, 2015 | 8:17 am

    Hey Chris, I’m wondering if you are able to help me?So there’s a guy that I’d been seeing for around 4/5 months and before that you could say that we were friends as well. Before we were friends he broke up with his ex of a year because he no longer had that special spark for her no more, and afterwards she just gave him grief even though he gave the relationship another chance and even a chance at being friends but she didn’t make it work. We spent much of our time together (as young lovers do) and if anything was wrong we were able to talk it out, give space and recover. We literally were/are best friends, shared our goals and inspirations with each other.

    But recently something happened where I was hurt by him, so he gave me some time to get over it but still contacted me each day to make sure I was ok. Then once I was feeling ready to move on from what had occurred he had gone quiet, and whenever I texted him he was very sort in replying and I knew something was wrong. So asked him and he said that he met up with his ex (because they finally agreed to be friends) and his feelings had come back for her…And of course all hell broke loose.

    Right now you’re probably thinking yeah he’s not worth it anymore, move on but there’s so much more to it! See he’s still an immature boy and he doesn’t like to share much of his problems with people so it all builds up in his head and makes him a very confusing person when it comes to these situations. I met up with his mum and she did not understand why all of a sudden his ex had come back into his life (not back together literally jus back in the picture) and she thought we were so great together (I know clique) that he looked so happy when I was around in his life, whereas when his was dating his ex before he wasn’t quite as bright and happy because his mum said the ex made it all about her and he seems to have a protective feel for her.
    But right now I’ve only met up with him a couple of times due to the fact that he has become a busy person and I have a feeling he’s not as keen to see me because he finds it hard. I’ve told him how much I feel about him and that I don’t want to give up on us or lose him out of my life, but if he does choose her that I’d be willing to still be the best friends that we are. But all he could that he doesn’t know what to do or what to choose but he doesn’t want to lose me or hurt anyone and that we have to wait and see.
    So after displaying desperate scenes in front of him, I decided that ill leave it to him to talk and catch up with me. I wouldn’t contact him for a period of time to see if he notices my absence and wishes my presence to return. It was very hard but it was the only thing that I could do considering that the ball is in his court, and whilst doing so I would work on myself to be a better person, and secretly post pictures on social media sites where I knew he could see them and see that I was having fun without him. But in return on snapchat on his story page (if you have heard of snapchat) he posted a pic of his ex eating dinner. At that moment I saw it I could only see red everywhere, enraged by the fact that he could throw away all the feelings that we had created for an ex that he broke up with! So I wrote a letter (because texting is just not the way to go for me and gets no where) considering the fact that he struggles to meet up with me and needs to actually absorb information. I wrote that I cant endure anymore of this where he throws away what we had and that im now considering moving on with my life because if I sat by it would only tear me apart and I got cocky saying that you will regret losing me and will find no one else like me.
    The next day after posting the letter in his letter box, he saw that I posted pic on social media working at my new job so he ended up contacting me saying “why didn’t you tell me you got a job, congrats!” so obviously the secret and silent treatment had work some what, but I was still angry and asked if he had read my letter which he hadn’t at the time. So he ended up reading it and cracked the sh*ts with me, he didn’t think that I saw it from his point of view and how much stress was on top of him (but I do understand the pressure he just didn’t seem to understand my issue) and thought that I was making it all about me and pushing him for an answer (which I was not, I was trying to tell him that I thought I had decided to move on after what I had seen).
    He said that writing a letter was stupid because I was hiding behind it and it wast allowing him to reply to it and that I should contact and arrange to meet up, which I have been doing so!! Just he always turns out to be so busy and texting is just ridiculous, he said that him and his ex where just meeting up to talk about stuff but now I don’t know anything anymore and I tried calling him but he wouldn’t pick up and told me to stop and that hed call me later (this was on Friday) and he hasn’t. My male friend says give him at least a week or two of space again and see if he contacts you again because we have to meet up and discuss things now. But I have a feeling that he wont contact me and still wont want to face it, which will hurt me a lot because we worked well together until his ex came back in the picture and now he looks in the worst condition ive ever seen.

    I really want him back, he’s my best friend, my partner in crime and he believed that we fitted together like a puzzle. How does he not know that what hes done with his ex that he wont do with me where he decides to come back. Please help and give me some advice, I would really appreciate it

    Thank you for your time in reading my letter. ps sorry for it being really long and complicated but that was as much as I could type and there is still more to it

    Yours sincerely

    • admin
      March 31, 2015 | 10:40 pm

      Ya I absolutely hate letters so I am never a fan of them.

      Have you done NC yet?

  2. basmas
    March 26, 2015 | 4:01 pm

    Hi chris.. I love your website and i got so much advice from it. I need some help chris! I met this guy while i was visiting my parents abroad. Both our families know one another. I was very attracted to this guy when we first met but nothing happened. My second trip we ended going out and we started to really like one another. Anyway things were going well one night until we decided to go out clubbing. I ended getting really drunk and i said some hurtful thing i didnt mean. He ended breaking it off with me and i ended going back to my country. I tried to contact him but he blocked me from everywhere. that happened last year august… i found your website and i did the no contact rule… it worked but took a bit longer like 2 months and he finally called me. His excuse was our families are not talking so we should try and get them talking again. I agreed then he apologized and asked for my forgiveness. I did forgive him and then he dropped a line that shocked me!! he was like so when are we getting married?!! i was shocked and i didnt know what to say. He asked me to txt him of the things he wanted to change about him self like things i werent happy with. I told him that i couldnt do that and it would be better to do it face to face and really get to know one another… after that things have been really werid. He doesnt call or he doesnt txt back only whne he wants and i really dont know where i stand with him. I feel so confsed. please help

    • admin
      March 31, 2015 | 8:53 pm

      Are you two still long distance?

  3. Casey
    March 9, 2015 | 10:59 am

    So to keep myself from contacting my ex, I’ve deleted his Facebook, blocked him on instagram and also personally deleted the instagram app myself (so i don’t see his dinner date posts ewith some other girl)

    How else can i make him jealous if he jas no connection with me online anymore…? I’m three weeks in my NC rule

    • admin
      March 13, 2015 | 4:01 pm

      Wow, check you out!

      You can mak ehim jealous through text you do realize.

  4. Charmaine
    March 9, 2015 | 3:05 am

    I need to ask you a question but in private Please and Thankyou :)

    • admin
      March 13, 2015 | 3:51 pm

      I no longer am doing emails…

      Sorry :(

  5. jakie
    March 2, 2015 | 10:37 am

    Hey my fiance broke it up with me this saturday. I dont knw wat to do this is the 4th major break up we have had and its always him braking up over txts like im to young i want to explore my options idk what to do anymore he gives me mixed signals ive never loved anyone so much than u. Maybe later down the track we might be right im so confused he always comes back though its usually between a month and a half but i dont contact him what so ever what should i do ive moved all my stuff out except he has to pay for my fr8dge and washing machine which he daid he would he told me i will contact the realestate and get ur name taken off i call in the middle of the day and the real estate hasbt heard anything or said anything. Plus when he asked me to move out i did but when he sore me do8ng everything he said u could do it with in a couple of weeks we can be friends still and be mature about this im so lost

    • admin
      March 2, 2015 | 10:08 pm

      How long in the engagement were you?

      Also, what was the reasoning for his breakup?

      The young excuse again?

  6. Louise
    March 1, 2015 | 8:39 am


    I was wondering if you could help as my situation differs to the advice above.

    My ex broke up with my saturday, I totally adored him and a few weeks before we were in Thailand having a great time however he told me the feelings aren’t there anymore. The week after we sent some light hearted messages and met up this Saturday and we both cried and he said he hadn’t changed his mind and we kissed and agreed to see each other this Friday.

    I am not sure he will ever change his mind if he didn’t saturday just gone but what is your advice for Friday? Should I tell him maybe I have a date for the weekend?

    Thanks for your help


  7. lost
    February 25, 2015 | 12:34 pm

    Hi chris

    So after my bf of 6 years broke up with me . Till now its been 3 month and now iam about to finish my Nc (26 days ) and all i can c is that he is acting way too comfortable like going out having a lot of girl friends i ddnt c any reaction that he cares about me or he is jealous! What should o do i really want him not feel that comfortable anymore and feel like he is loosing me
    Please help on this

  8. Anshika
    February 17, 2015 | 12:47 pm

    I broke up with my boyfriend last April. I didn’t contacted him neither i asked any question to him for a couple of weeks since i was expected him to wish me on my birthday but he didn’t. Later, after a month, when i came to know that his exams were approaching i wished him on his exam n kissed him as well when he asked. But as soon as exams got over, he never contacted me. After a couple of months i contacted him again n he just replied to it. He never starts any convo nor calls me anymore. I always stood beside him in his raining days n always messaged him after seeing his every problematic status update. I really love him alot n i want him back. What shall i do??

    • admin
      February 18, 2015 | 9:13 pm

      Well what have you done so far?

      Have you implemented any of the tactics on this site?

  9. Kara
    February 15, 2015 | 9:54 pm

    I am devastated. I am pregnant, soon to deliver, my ex’s child and on January 27th my ex and I ended it for good when I found out that he had started seeing someone else. I had suspected it for a little while but he continuously denied it. He even denied it after I found emails that pretty much proved otherwise. I was finally able to get him to admit the truth, with very steamy texts between he and I that he didn’t want me to send to the other woman. I told him at the end of a conversation that literally lasted the entire night I told him that I felt obligated to tell her because she had the right to know the truth. I don’t ever want to be the cause of that kind of pain for another woman. He promised me that this would not affect him having a relationship with our daughter and that he and I woulx stay in contact via email and whatsapp. He said that he wanted me to give him updates on the pregnancy. I told her via whatsapp with screenshots of the texts so that she knew that I was being truthful. I told her that what she decided was of course 100% up to her but she at least had the right to make an informed decision. On January 29th I emailed him to give him an update on the dr appt. He didn’t respond. The next day I emailed him to ask if he still planned to help buy the necessary items for our daughter like he said. His response was that he does not want any contact with me. He said do not call, do not email, and do not respond to that email. All responsibilities would have to be handled through lawyers. I know that it’s seem pathetic but I still love him. I read your posts and I have not contacted him in 16 days. I am about to order your ebook but I afraid that there is no point. What do you think?

    • Kara
      February 16, 2015 | 3:11 pm

      Oh, and I forgot to mention that he has blocked me on whatsapp, deleted me as a contact on Skype, and I think blocked me on his phone. I made a lot of the common mistakes that you talk about during our relationship due to my inexperience with dating. It does not justify his actions but I do have a better understanding of myself now. As I said, he said that he doesn’t want contact with me. I have been sticking to the no contact strictly on my part. I have not contacted him in 17 days. Does it still count if he breaks the contact? How will I start contact after the no contact period of I am blocked? Is there even any point in me ordering your ebook? It feels pretty hopeless right now. I am having his child so it makes it harder. Please let me know your thoughts.

      • Kara
        February 17, 2015 | 1:00 pm

        I guess that my situation is truly hopeless. I was really hoping that you could provide some insight but maybe you are in agreement. I have still not contacted him. I’m not sure what to do now.

        • Nitya sri
          February 26, 2015 | 6:00 pm

          I I’m not an expert but I’ve been doing months of research. You have to reverse the break up. You have to be the one in control. U do this first by focusing on you. This guy u love is a tool. I can’t say how old u are but you gotta get it together for your baby. Your baby will feel all your pain and heartbreak. Forget him now. You and the baby are most important. After baby is over make him think u could care less. Do that now. No contact. If u broke it after 17 days start over again. Make him think he fully lost u… Get the book why men love bitches. Do it. Act even like there’s someone else even if there’s not. A little jealousy goes a long way. U must make him think you rejected him. Don’t be needy. If he calls you.. Deny him. Why? Because u and the baby are more important. When u make you number one Then he will come back to you.

          • Nitya sri
            February 26, 2015 | 6:03 pm

            But one more thing. This guy who behaves like this with you is not loving you at all. You are only tolerating such behavior because you don’t love yourself. Love yourself then soneone can really love you.

  10. JT
    February 14, 2015 | 12:31 pm

    Ok so I was going out with this guy for just over a year and he dumped me now he’s going out with this girl that I absolutely hate and of all the things they got assigned my table at the school ball. I’m going by myself without a date I want advice on how to make him want me back and be jealous but I don’t actually want to date him again I just want to have the satisfaction of one upping his girlfriend :’)

  11. Andrea
    February 11, 2015 | 11:57 pm

    Just recently, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me. I was devastated… Still am. Here’s the thing, I live with his parents!!! This is because 3 years ago I moved away from my family because it was toxic and even now I don’t speak to my family. I have no one except his family. His mother became the mother I never had and his dad likes me more than he likes my ex. So my ex is living with his grandmother. When he broke it off I wanted to know why and he said that he doesn’t love me like he used to. Which irks me because I was very good to him our relationship was 90-10 me being the one who put my all into it. He is an introvert and he loved computer games so much that it got in the way of him taking care of his responsibilities and became a problem not
    Only with us but his parents too. About three weeks ago he got in a fight with his parents about him not taking care of business and the wanted to go into the police academy and stop going to school hen I got in a fight with him about it. So he came to me and said he wanted to break it off. The thing is I have to see him more than I want, family functions we work together and I don’t have a car anymore and his mother asks him to give me rides when she can’t. So the NC thing is difficult. His mother has talked to him about us and wanted to know why he broke it off and he said he did it mainly because I get so emotional. I wouldn’t be so emotional if he would take time from his video games and hang out with me. He said the usual “I still love her as a person, I want to help her buy a car, I don’t want her to hurt for a long time, in time maybe we can try again.” Meanwhile, I’m lost. Advice please.

    • admin
      February 16, 2015 | 10:00 pm

      How much is the video games a problem?

      Also, do your best to try NC.

      • Andrea
        February 17, 2015 | 3:44 am

        A big problem. He spent all of his time on them. He may not so much now because he is in orders for the next three months (Marine Corps reserves) and that takes up most of his day. But his video games got in the way of us really hanging out especially a year after I started living with him.

        • admin
          February 17, 2015 | 12:51 pm

          Ya… he should really focus in on YOU and not the games.

          • Andrea
            February 17, 2015 | 3:09 pm

            Ya…So he came over last night cause it IS his mother’s house. And we talked alone. I got something off my chest, it was about me being emotional and how’d I be over the top and I said maybe this space is good because I do need to work on myself a bit. And HE said that he has no intention on seeing anyone else and that we just need space to grow. I’m 22 and he’s 21. Which I agree with because i would not spend the rest of my life with him when he is at where he’s at. And HE proceeded to let me know that he is going to San Diego for four days to hang with his friends. ( I didn’t know he had friends, like really did he pull them out of his ass?) but HE invited me to go shooting with him sometime next week because he wants to test the rifle we bought before he brings it with him on his trip. I didn’t know what to say and just asked him how much do I need for the shooting range and he said he’d cover it.
            What should I do?

  12. Cindypaz
    January 30, 2015 | 6:32 pm

    Hiii well I’m depressed and I need help well my ex boyfriend and I have been dating for 10 months and we recently broke up because I got jelous and I snapped on him now the story begins like this I left on a Thursday to Tampa for a wedding I stayed there all weekend my boyfriend instead didn’t come with me and he stayed working and he went Clubbing with he’s mom and friend and I was perfectly fine with it but during that time I looked into he’s snapchat and reliazed he had two girl as he’s bestbfriends and I screenshot it and sent it to him asking him wtf who are these girls he responded and said in not going to explain , believe what you want and you know that whenever you have a reason I’ll give it to you , so i responded perfect don’t come crying later saying sorry and everything , then that Sunday morning he posted a picture of him on insta saying he was drunk . Now that pissed me off because he promised he would drink and blow he’s money , now it’s Sunday the 25 and it’s our anniversary I had forgotten but I was giving him the silence treatments since Saturday night , now he texts me at 10 on Sunday saying happy aiversary at least one of us remembered , and I simply replied thanks you too , that’s it and I had posted on ig a pic with my gay friend and said I was in Miami then I got on fb and say I was sick to see if he would at least cares to call me or anything but he didn’t .. But later on he posted a pic on ig saying he’s with he’s friends having fun now. Now what really pissed me off it’s the friend he was with because I hate him because he’s a bad influence on my boyfriend , now I completely snapped and went on a rampage and texted him Monday night telling him I’m done with you come get your shit all you car about is you blah blah blah shove your money up your ass your immature your almost 20 and all this mean name calling stuff you could imagine and I started deleating all our pics from ig and fb and so did he he blocked me but he didn’t unfriend me on fb and he just started posting pics of himself and smoking and started following he’s ex on ig ! Wth! now I got really upset because he quit smoking after we started dating me now he’s doing it to hurt me I guess I don’t know , anyways Tuesday comes and were at school we have 3 classes together imagine how awkward .. He completely ignored me I had sent him a long txt message explaining what happen to me Monday night why I did it and everything & he didn’t reply now I feel like shot because I see him , All day Tuesday I cried and didn’t eat didn’t talk to him after the text and I said to myself wedsday I have to go and applogoze for being so mean , now it’s wedsday were at school I text him and tell him we need to talk it’s inportant , he dosnt reply therefor I’m mad because she’s ignoring me then I got the class we have together he isn’t there but he’s friends told me they saw him.. I get called for lunch detention and he’s there I grabbed him and pull him aside and said why are you ignoring me and I stayed crying infront of everyone in lunch I didn’t care and I told him how sorry I was how I regret doing it how he doesn’t think that I want him , I told him to tell me , say you don’t love me and I’ll leave you alone say go away and I’ll go and he said I can’t because I love you but I need my time and I said look at me I’m serious im sealing my pride and I’m humalityed myself infront of you what do you want he’ said I can’t talk to you about this in school we can’t do this here and I said you walk away and forget bout me so he walked away because he got called and I left school crying and everything then later on I felt better because I had apologized and that what I wanted now he didn’t gonafter me or nothing didn’t call me later nothing so now I’m sad and shit for doing what I did because that what he wanted to see me cry and everything now I don’t know what to do I need help I don’t know if I should pay the same game he’s doing in going out posting pictures because I feel like that would never make him come back you know so please respond to me and tell me what you think

    • admin
      January 31, 2015 | 3:39 pm

      Wow, you guys are just trying one up each other with the jealousy huh?

      • Cindypaz
        January 31, 2015 | 8:16 pm

        Not really I’m not trying to so that maybe he is but instead of his actions making me jealous it hurts me and it sucks now he’s mom knows and she loves me and she said she’s willing to talk to me maybe I don’t know if that’s right or wrong but I can’t move I don’t know what to do as in these 30 nc because is hard I wish I could talk to him and make him realize he’s wrong and that he needs me maybe I won’t accept that fact that we aren’t together because if I do when he comes back i won’t want to

  13. Chhunna
    January 27, 2015 | 1:28 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me on Sunday.. We dated for about 1 month and 2 days. He was my first boyfriend and kiss. He’s a sophomore but really mature and smart for his age LOL. He’s athletic (does gymnastics) but he’s very cocky . Im a junior, a year older than him. He probably only liked me because I was “easy” and that I was pretty. I really liked him a lot, but he wanted to break our relationship off and just become “friends” but he doesn’t reply to my facebook messages after our breakup
    I really liked this guy a lot, and when we broke up it kind of stressed me out |:
    There were problems in our relationship, and I warned him way before we were official. My parents didn’t let me have a boyfriend, I didn’t have a phone, and I wasn’t allowed to go out. I told him before he asked me out, and after we were together , I thought he would understand and would be patient with me . I really liked him a lot because we had a lot of things in common and we’ve dealt with the same issues in our life. He’s sweet :D but now he avoids me and act like I don’t exist… I want to make him jealous, but I don’t know how ? I want him to want me back (I know I know I’m too young for this) . He left a girl who can be a wifey type but can also be fun and loves to travel like he does xD also, his gymnastics friends told me that he gets a new girlfriend every month and me and him dated got about 1 month and 2 days . Please help my situation, THANKS !!

  14. mimi
    January 25, 2015 | 1:46 am

    Hello, i really need your help…

    My boyfriend said he is too tired from fighting a lot, and said he wanted to be friends and develop may be our relationship little by little again… and he said he would asked me to wait but he Can’t do that because he doesn’t want to hurt me more…
    After that I said I could wait and would text him once a while but he ignored me or just pushed me away… IT’s been like that for 2 weeks and after that I started NC, last call I told him that I agree about being friends and we have to take a break and I will try to not talk to him… then cut it off for 5 days now…

    Should I start posting my pics during the NC? Or Untill it ends?
    My ex is the kind who gives up really quickely and who would say what’s done is done and not break his head over anything…

    What should I do please answer me please please please

    • admin
      January 26, 2015 | 3:34 pm

      During the NC and even after here and there.

  15. melissa
    January 22, 2015 | 6:59 am

    Me an my ex dated for 4 months but then had a bit of a messy break up (I broke up with him bc it was too serious for me). I did no contact and then he hooked up with this new girl (actually was my friend :( ) on new years and they are now dating. They got together just two weeks after we broke up! I texted him basically said no hard feelings from the breakup, hope we can still be friends and he replied agreeing, then he texted me saying happy birthday on my birthday. I’ve come across him twice in public, the first time was at a party and I tried to tease him a little when I overheard him exaggerating a story. He gave me the meanest look, said nothing, and turned away. The second time I ran into him and his friends at the library. His friend was obviously flirting with me and my ex refused to look up for the desk, like not even a glance. So my question is, is he jealous? Does he miss me? Is he in a rebound relationship? Why did he say he wanted to be friends is he wont even look at me? Is he still hurt? I miss him :(

    • admin
      January 22, 2015 | 5:06 pm

      Probably a bit jealous but he is also probably angry too and is not looking on purpose because he knows it will affect you which tells me he still cares about you in some way shape or form.

  16. kayla
    January 6, 2015 | 1:25 am

    My ex was to busy playing his Xbox and it irritated me so I told him it wasn’t worth it. We broke up and he wanted to be freinds of beneifets. He’s a doosh! And I wanna make him want me back, but then me turn the how down.

    • admin
      January 6, 2015 | 2:02 pm

      All because he was playing video games?

  17. A
    December 26, 2014 | 4:21 am

    When I was texting my ex boyfriend and decided to tell him “Hey I gotta go meet a friend. TTYL. Merry Christmas” He replied “Ahh new bf? haha jk have fun”…I never responded so an hour later he sent another text “Guess so haha.” I felt like I should have said something back so I said ” I have new friends:)” He continued to ask”New friends from school?” I never responded back and the next day he texted me first “Merry Xmas” I guess my question is if he asks me again when I send him that type of text next time, what should I say?

    • admin
      December 29, 2014 | 2:37 pm


      He clearly is interested to ask that.

      Just stick to the story with the friends.

  18. Sara M.
    December 5, 2014 | 4:21 pm

    Hi Chris!

    My bf just broke up with me a few weeks ago after dating for 6 months. He claimed that distance was “too hard” on him and through friends I heard that he wasn’t “emotionally connected” when in fact he had told me he had been while we were dating. How does your advice work with distance as a factor and is it even possible when guys state a lack of emotional connection?

    • admin
      December 8, 2014 | 12:36 pm

      How far was the distance?

  19. jst me
    December 2, 2014 | 1:56 am

    hi mi ex jst found out that am cheating on her and she means the world 2me i dnt knw if shes using ur advice 2get back at me or wat so wat do i do 2get her attention back 2bring back new feelings

    • admin
      December 2, 2014 | 3:00 pm

      I would like to direct you to my other site, Ex Girlfriend Recovery.

  20. Miss Kay
    November 18, 2014 | 3:54 am

    Hey there Chris, I absolutely love your advice and posts!
    I was wondering what to do in my case:
    So me and my boyfriend had been together for almost 2 months, we were always that couple everyone thought was “too cute” and wiuld stay together for ever, an I had been making him “wait”, I had decided to surprise him after our 2 months to you know what. We were gonna hangout that weekend but he broke up with me 2 days before saying we don’t get to see each other enough. Previously he had been saying he loved me but I never said it back (not wanting to lie) and would jus say something cute. It was terrible and I was extremely confused! We didn’t talk for at least 30 days but saw each other at parties because of our mutual friends. We sent a couple messages back and forth about hooking up and fooling around (after the 30 days). We didnt that night, we didn’t talk for another extended amount of time. I miss(ed) him like crazy and couldn’t/can’t get him off my mind. We saw eachother at another party but we had ended up hooking up, after I was bein a tease about it. We haven’t talked since and it’s been an additional 3 weeks. Please help me I don’t know what to do. I hear stuff about the girls he has talked to and I’m the jealous one…

    • Chhunna
      January 28, 2015 | 4:27 pm

      Just ignore it. Try to make him jealous back. I’ve been dating a guy for about a month( he gets a new gf every month as I’ve heard) and he knew that I really liked him. He broke it off saying we don’t get to hang out. First of all, he knew that I couldn’t go out or even have a boyfriend. But I thought he would be patient if he was dating me. He broke up with me a month after and I’m getting revenge. I’m going to make him jealous. Try the NC longer and just act happier (especially when he’s around) and act like you’ve moved on and flirt with other guys. After the NC is over, casually message/text him, but sound like you’re not interested. It’ll make him want to get back with you :)

  21. Erin
    October 15, 2014 | 12:44 am

    What should I do if my ex texts, calls, or attempts to contact me in any way during the NC period? Should I just completely ignore him for 30 days when he attempts to contact me?

    • admin
      October 27, 2014 | 2:35 pm

      Yep, just ignore him.

  22. anabelle
    October 14, 2014 | 12:08 am

    I just recent implemented the NC rule; long story short said he needed time, I said okay take it (while canceling the date we had this Week as to me if you want space you get it all) been 3 days no contact until today posted a picture and got the text “you look really pretty” said thank you and that was that, what that meant I don’t know but rest assured I won’t rest until the power lies with me and I am never taken for granted like this again.

    • admin
      October 14, 2014 | 3:56 pm

      Well, you kind of broke NC by saying thank you.

  23. Shruthi
    September 3, 2014 | 3:14 am

    HI, A mutual friend of us tagged our LKG photo on facebook,he instantly sent a friend request and we started pinging on facebook, he was very kiddo innocent sweet and used to update each and everything to me, I fell for these nature of his, loved him very very much proposed to him, he took 4months to accept me, because he is a guy loafs around goes for long trips, never believes in love, after accepting we had a good time with eachother, i introduced him to my relatives and family all are okay with us getting married but the problem started when his parents where against us because i was not of his caste. we tried our best nothing worked out. he later met me and said he wants to breakup with me in a very rude manner, i still tried to convince him begged him fell on feet totally lost my selfrespect, i asked him to just support me stand by my side, il take care of the rest, il somehow convince your parents il ask my parents to talk to them and all that, still he was not ready. he left me without a proper reason, i love him madly, truely very very deep. i fell sick completely was hospitalised too. if u answer this you will be saving me. please kindly give me a solution as to what can i do to get him back? please help me.

  24. Talls
    August 26, 2014 | 10:51 pm

    Hi Chris! Bought your book and it is extremely helpful. I just have a really quick question.

    It has been 3 months since NC ended. My ex (lets call him J for simplicity sake) has had this girl who he has been with (kinda a sex buddy) and she has gone off to college. I recently have gotten really close to a friend, who is also one of my ex’s exs (lets call him H). Nothing has really happened but when J found out, apparently he was really angry about a possible relationship between us. H asked him about it, and apparently they worked it out. But he also called me, saying he needed someone to talk to (apparently the girl he was with was in class).

    I went to his house after work, and we talked for a bit. It was very friendly conversation but he kept bringing up the girl he is with along with girls he has a crush on/crushing on him. I didn’t really say anything, and then went back to work. Before I left, he asked for a hug. Later, he tagged me in a message on facebook just saying I visited him to help him feel better and was now getting on xbox.

    Do you think he is trying to make me jealous?

    • admin
      August 28, 2014 | 12:15 pm


  25. Jessica
    August 25, 2014 | 6:09 pm

    If my ex texts me first during the no contact period, am I supposed to keep ignoring him because the 30 days aren’t up yet? Or do I move on to controlling the conversation?

  26. Jessica
    August 25, 2014 | 6:07 pm

    During the no contact period, if my ex texts me first, do I still ignore him if the 30 days aren’t up yet? Or am I supposed to move on to controlling the conversation?

  27. The Awesome Possum
    August 15, 2014 | 8:32 pm

    Me and my ex had been dating for 3 months. He didn’t have a job but he had the most wonderful personality. He was goofy in all the ways I wanted a guy to be, and it didn’t bother me that he wasn’t as intelligent or intellectually aware because he was a good guy. It got rocky in the third month when out of nowhere, after telling me how much I mean to him, he then blurted out, “I know how I feel about you, I just don’t know if you’re the right person I should be feeling this way for.” What the hell does that mean? As a side note, his bedroom skills were almost pathetic compared to mine, and he said, (and I knew) that I had given him the best head of his life and I was the most attractive girl he’d been with thus far. I was a stand up girlfriend, I tried my hardest. Eventually I got fed up with his confusion. I’m awesome, you know I’m awesome, you’ve said it yourself, EVERYONE loves us together but you’re still confused? And broke? There’s nothing you have to offer me. You cant offer me a secure relationship or even take me out on a date.

    Despite all of this, he is a good guy. Confused but a good guy. Unfortunately for him, even though I’m a loving and selfless girlfriend, I don’t respond well when people don’t realize this, or don’t care. I want him to realize what he missed out on, try to pursue me, so I can spit in the face of his feelings and say, “Sorry kid, this luxury cruise has sailed. Have fun on your dinghy.”

    • admin
      August 18, 2014 | 12:29 pm

      That is weird that out of nowhere he said that.

      I honestly think the tactics on this site can serve you well.

    • Sam
      September 23, 2014 | 3:40 am

      Holy crap! For once I have found a scenario I can relate to. My situation is very similar with some more factors other than being broke and you being very supportive along the way (which was also me). He was also dealing with a very complicated ex relationship and I was also supportive about that. If you want to talk further about it, I’m down. I don’t have very many people at all who understand my scenario. I’m also not sure if I want him back. Something happened recently that really made me consider whether I want to remain in it, so we had a fight about what happened and now I’m implementing the NC rule. He’s already contacted me but I’m not writing back and I’m not even ready to forgive him. Email me if you like. Could probably shoot each other advice.

      Chris, I’ll be using your advice.

  28. Allie
    August 4, 2014 | 12:07 am

    NC lasted 15 days. I made a judgment call, giving in because of his continued calling sobbing for me back, literally sobbing, fetal position sobbing, said the grass wasn’t greener, he can’t live without me. I was cautious. We went on a date. No sex. Date ended with text from girl he said he broke it off with. Content of text indicated he had not broken it off.
    Almost a week of him vacillating-doesn’t know what he wants. Not sure. Sure. Coming over. Not coming over. Over and over. Never came over.
    Today he was supposed to come over. Called me instead with final good-bye. Said he can’t see me because he can’t resist me. Slight argument and I told him to be sure, he said he’s sure. Told him I won’t be contacting him anymore, but…
    I Couldn’t resist a couple last texts:
    “I have a question.
    Since you have been vacillating so much, I feel it is my duty, and out of respect to ask you this.
    I really want to be sure that you’re sure, and that this is your final decision, because…” (Waited for like 5 minutes for effect)

    “I have been true to you, and have not been with another man for a very long time. I feel as if I belong to you, and I wouldn’t want to hurt your feelings by being with another man, sexually, if you’re not really sure.
    So basically, out of respect, I’m asking your permission to date other people-(another pause)

    So…do I no longer belong to you?”

    He called about 20 minutes later. I didn’t answer. I waited an hour and called back saying I was returning his call.
    He said “I will be over immediately after work tomorrow–are you asking me for permission to date other men?” I ignored his question, and said “uh, okay, well, see how you feel tomorrow, you may change your mind again, in the meantime, about coming over again”. He hung up.

    He was obviously jealous. Don’t know what it means, could mean nothing, not sure if I care so much anymore, even if he doesn’t show, it was just so darn satisfying to elicit that response!

  29. Curious
    July 20, 2014 | 9:50 pm

    Hi there, Chris!
    Can you still make an ex jealous if it’s been 6 months since you broke up and he’s currently with the person he left you for? We have no contact with each other but I want him to regret leaving me…or at least miss me. I have started talking to other people and was thinking of posting pics of a guy friend that I hang out with.

    • admin
      July 21, 2014 | 4:13 pm

      I suppose its not out of the realm of possibility but its more unlikely to happen in this case I think.

  30. Abbie
    June 3, 2014 | 4:03 pm

    Hey Chris,

    My bf and I dated for 8 months and things were going really well. We had promised each other we were right for each other and had completely invested ourselves in staying together for good. I thought things were going great until one night we got into a fight. It wasn’t terrible, we were just talking about how we didn’t treat each other the same anymore (meaning the “butterflies” were gone) we both admitted that that was the case and were able to resolve it. He told me after the argument that he wouldn’t forget this quickly, but he seemed fine afterwards and I thought everything was fine. Well, about 2 weeks later, on Memorial Day evening, we were on the phone messing with each other, and I teasingly said, “Do you wanna break up?” And instead of him laughing like he usually does he said “I don’t know”. I was devastated, he starting saying that ever since the fight he’d been thinking, that he didn’t know if we were right for each other anymore. And that he wanted to be done and be single. He said he still loved me, I didn’t deserve this happening to me, and that he was sorry. He’ll answer his phone if I call him, so I think that’s a good sign. I decided to start NC three days ago, and I was just wondering if you think there’s any chance of him coming back? Thanks

    • admin
      June 5, 2014 | 5:33 pm

      I think there is yes.

      • Abbie
        June 6, 2014 | 12:15 pm

        I was on the phone with him last night and he told me he was done for good, so I think that’s my answer ):

  31. Roxy
    May 22, 2014 | 4:48 pm

    So I’ve been in NC for two weeks now, working out & doing great. Today I instagrammed a photo of myself with another guy, which has shown up on my ex boyfriend’s newsfeed for sure (as he’s following me). I noticed my ex boyfriend imitate what I did & uploaded a picture with a girl today right after. This is amusing…my question is:

    Is that a good thing? Did my post work in making him jealous?

    • admin
      May 23, 2014 | 5:10 pm

      Definitely did and he definitely tried to make you jealous.

  32. Alice
    May 20, 2014 | 3:38 am

    My boyfriend broke up with me 6 weeks ago, I followed NC for 30 days since the beginning. And now I have started the texting, I’ve done the first recommended texts and today I sent the jealousy text about “was that you at (place) if it was you, you looked really good” and he answered 10 minutes after my text saying that of course it wasn’t him that I must have liked someone else and that he didn’t went out in the whole weekend.
    By the response, do you think that the jealousy text worked? I mean, why make the remark that he didn’t went out and that it was another guy that I liked? Is this a good answer? should I keep moving forward to the other recommended texts in your book, how much to wait between the jealousy texts and the other texts? I can’t see this anywhere in your book

    • admin
      May 20, 2014 | 9:22 pm

      I think it did! Hes just hiding it really well.

      • Alice
        May 21, 2014 | 12:14 am

        Thank you! I thought that I messed up with the text, it seemed like he was angry… I’ll keep moving forward and let you know how it went

  33. Alyson
    April 11, 2014 | 3:27 pm

    There’s this guy I was with for almost a year. He was kind of dark, he always talked about suicide and things like cutting. It scared me and eventually I broke up with him. And now that he’s got someone else (several someones)I realize how much I love him and want to be with him. I don’t know what to do…please help…

    • admin
      April 12, 2014 | 3:58 pm

      Dang… are you sure you want him back. He seems a bit negative.

  34. Sydney
    March 30, 2014 | 3:54 pm

    I just got out of a bad toxic dark relationship about 2 month ago and I don’t want him back, but since then I found this amazing boy that pulled me out of my dark state after that breakup that I do want back. He was not a rebound and can out of nowhere because I was ready to not talk to another boy for a long time. He is exactly the perfect person for me. He is a breath of fresh air and makes me the best person I can be. I know I don’t need a boyfriend and that I’m good on my own but I really like him and it’s hard for me to find people I have that connection with. We’ve only been on 7 dates but after the first he was head over heals with me saying he doesn’t remember the last time he was this happy because of me. He is a workaholic and is a fisherman that works at a marina on the off season. This is his first time working at this marina for his internship and he is beyond busy and doesn’t have a lot of time. One thing I really liked about him was that he can be alone and likes to be alone sometimes because I do to. Recently because he’s been so busy I confronted him about it(nicely and appropriately). He said he doesn’t have time and wouldn’t be fair to me to be in a connoted relationship and that he needs to figure things out and work on him self. So we kinda broke up or just not talking right now, but I want him back. I’m fine with him not having a lot of time I just want to see him once or twice a week. Please help.

    • millie
      April 3, 2014 | 9:50 pm

      You need to show him subtly that you have a life without him and that you are desirable to other males. Men are competitive and this will elicit his jelousy and his lust he had for you at the beginning. Worth a try.

    • Artemis
      April 14, 2014 | 8:48 pm

      I was in a similar situation. Its hard when you are getting out of a toxic relationship and actually find someone who isn’t just a rebound. I found who I want to spend my life with, but I just wasn’t healed from the toxic relationship I had before. We’ve been broken up a month and I feel so much better about myself and have a feeling deep down that once I heal he will find me again. Even if you don’t think you need the space and time, sometimes you do.

      • admin
        April 15, 2014 | 4:14 pm


  35. Tiffany Carter
    March 30, 2014 | 12:43 am

    yes I have an ex boyfriend who has another girlfriend but I don’t know if he really has a girlfriend the thing is he could be putting me through a test to see if I would go out and find another guy cause last summer i had another boyfriend and he was mad about that and he didn’t like my ex boyfriend Jonathan and now he went out found him self a girlfriend is he trying to pay me back ?

  36. sw
    March 22, 2014 | 7:57 pm

    I and my boyfriend brokeup fews days back..we were together for last two years ..he proposed to me.. we were in a distance relationahip but we used to meet aftr evry two month.he proposed to me..i ws elder to him..we were so close but after an year he started ignoring me n lying to me as well..he stopped calling me that time ..i askd for the breakup but he dint let me go that time.after sometime he again started putting his efforts to make this relationship work..i tried to make him jealous so many times but he never got jealous..and now he said that he cant appease his parents for the age issue so its better to finish it here ..i wasnt able to leave him so i forced him to continue this the end he said he wants to quit as he doesnt love me anymore..pls help me out what to do now…

    • admin
      March 23, 2014 | 4:51 pm

      How bad were his lies when he started lying to you?

      • sw
        March 24, 2014 | 5:49 pm

        We used to talk on regular basis but that is hardly for 15 mins in a day..he used to say that i am busy…he had been with another girl for a month which i came to know later but at that time he said he wanted to be with me..

  37. Jamie B
    March 16, 2014 | 12:43 pm

    Hi Chris,

    My boyfriend and I were together for 4 years (we even lived together) and we broke up 3 months ago (his doing). I have since done everything you have outlined here, gone no contact for 6 weeks, and dated other people. I even started to move on! He initiated contact due to a picture he saw of me and another guy last week…and was clearly annoyed by it. Since then we have talked via text on and off…I have initiated conversation on two separate occasions and he has once. All of the conversations are relatively flirty and seem to just “flow.” Unfortunately, our most recent conversation made me wonder why we were talking again. He is not coming out and saying he misses me or is even considering “us” again…Where do I go from here?

    • admin
      March 18, 2014 | 5:03 pm

      What are his actions saying? Forget words for a moment. Are his actions good?

  38. Maggie
    March 14, 2014 | 5:09 pm

    Hey Chris,
    I need some advice. I dated this guy for a short period of time, a little over two months. We hit it off really well and I ended up letting myself fall for him pretty hard. I went out of town for a weekend and when I come back one of his friends meets up with me to tell me that my boyfriend said he wanted to hook up with this chick at her place, he apparently never did which I believe. But when I heard this I got so infuriated and felt so hurt and emoional I decided to go and break up with my boyfriend over the phone and not let him say a word. I told him he wasn’t worth my time and that everyone was right when they told me I was out of his league (ouch). He was pissed… And when we talked over the phone about it a few days later just to clarify everything, I asked for a second chance and he denied me. He said we weren’t compatible and my outburst was unnecessary and he doesn’t have time to deal with my bullshit as well as fixing a broken relationship. Im on day 5 of the NC period, and I’m just wondering if me trying this is even worth it? This guy has a god complex and I’ don’t want to make myself look like a bigger fool than I already did. I see snapchats of him partying that his friends send me and ugh it’s getting to me.

  39. Curious
    March 12, 2014 | 3:18 am

    So we’ve been broken up for about 3 months, were together for almost 8 years. I’ve given him space and I want him back, obviously, but I’m being stubborn about contacting him. Sometimes it’s out of fear, sometimes I feel like he should be contacting me (I know, bad), sometimes I feel like I might come off as too needy if I tried. But in the end, I think that we’re BOTH being really stubborn about contacting each other. And yes, he is definitely one of those really stubborn guys. Sometimes I feel like he doesn’t really care anymore but then there’s other things that he continues to do for me regardless. IE – not kicking me off the cellphone plan we shared even though the contract ended months ago. He also paid for my game subscription, which automatically renews, and probably would have continued without saying anything but I put a stop to that because I didn’t feel it would be right.

    Now I feel like he might possibly be trying to make me jealous on Facebook. We have the same circle of friends and I’ve noticed he keeps name dropping some other woman on mutual friends’ statuses. I know who she is but I’ve never actually met her. Knowing how he, I had a feeling he would be hanging out with her after the breakup. I don’t know if they’re just friends, dating, or what, but I guess he’s also introduced her to our circle of friends. I’ve also noticed that she’s been invited into the same FB groups we both are in and pretty sure into our MMO’s guild.

    I guess the questions are pretty obvious: if he doesn’t want to be with me, then why is he doing things for me? And is he trying to make me jealous or am I reading too much into it?

  40. beti
    March 10, 2014 | 7:14 pm

    hey chris i broke up wiz my bf and i really want him back he told me that he broke up wiz his girlfriend and i know that he told me the truth but he make up wiz her and dumped me he always told me that he love me i really need ur help chris i don’t know what to do

  41. Jay
    March 9, 2014 | 11:01 am

    hey, my partner of 6 years split up with me a week ago. She said she’s been unhappy for some time and I’ve chosen to ignore it. She tells me she doesn’t love me anymore and wants to see other people. I’m obviously hurt and upset over our breakup and want her back but I’m really confused. I’m trying to move on with my life and take my mind off things but on a night out with friends I made a mistake and text her while I was out which she came across jealous in them. Her best friend also said she doesn’t know if breaking up with me is the right move either. And on my birthday a month ago she put a huge effort into it and we are supposed to be doing an activity day at the end of March which I’m reluctant to go to because I’d feel awkward. Have you got any good advice on winning her back?

  42. Deb Al-Hamza
    March 8, 2014 | 1:12 am

    My ex broke up with me a a month ago. We were living together for 10 months. He said he did not love me. We slept with each other 3 times but not the last week. I moved into my own apartment in the same building. I am trying to do the no thing. When I am not contacting him he starts texting me to see how I am. I am very confused. He said he does of love me and does of want to have a relationship with me. Why does he keep contacting me?

  43. Brad
    March 7, 2014 | 2:53 am

    I need more conversation starters in texts im running out and i am to afraid to say hi to her in person because im so embarrassed about what happened in the the past. Any advice?

    • admin
      March 7, 2014 | 7:03 am

      What are you scared will happen if you say hi?

    • Annalee
      April 29, 2014 | 2:11 am

      You are making this about conversation starters? I think that you probably hurt her in the past and acted shady and maybe you are afraid she will reject you. If she has a clue she will run. If you are texting her instead of talking she will still think you are a jerk. When you do that crap to someone the only way to make it better is face to face and being real with your feelings. You sound immature, and she is probably great so give up. Actions matter-not texts. She will end with someone who is genuine with feelings and not playing stupid games. You should be crawling through broken glass if you feel for someone you know you messed up with. You go to them, tell them how you feel and make her feel sure about you-idiot! She would need to trust you again and it sounds like you are playing games still. If some ex was texting me-I would think I was one of many. What you present is a little boy who can’t deal with relationships and there will be a million guys ready to express their feelings. I bet you did this and failed. Probably acted shady and withheld and hurt her. Only being real works.

  44. jonet
    March 6, 2014 | 4:17 pm

    I broke upwith my boyfriend of 3 yrs he wrnt and slept with the ex of 9yrs now he tryin to string us along i have the baby and was the love of his life since childhood. She loves him and he loves her but he is playing so many games. And he is telling me she wants him to choose her and but feels she will never feel like she first cause he has a daughter, she cant have children, i love him but not sure if i even want him back 30 day rule i started only talk about daughter help…..akasha

    March 5, 2014 | 3:42 pm

    thank you so much you really helped me

  46. Luna
    March 3, 2014 | 11:20 pm

    Hi Chris. My bf broke it off the night before Valentine’s Day. This is our second break-up; I fixed the problems I had when we first dated, that he said was why we broke up the first time but then he said those weren’t the real reasons and wouldn’t go into it when we got back together. Turns out his big problem was my jealousy problems which I told him I won’t have anymore. There were a couple other issues as well that I feel are fixable and I already apologized for/explained.

    My situation is slightly complicated because we were living together so all of my things except my clothes are still at the apartment we shared. And I broke the NC rule to text a couple times and last we chatted a couple days ago it was casual but I plan to not text him for a while. The tricky thing is our lease is up this month and he is renewing it with our roommate so I don’t know if they plan to contact me to get my stuff or what. Also we made plans to go to an event together so idk if we are going to go but room separately or what.

    I cannot stress in words how badly I want him back and I want to employ the NC & jealousy method, I just hope I didn’t screw things up worse by talking to him, even though like I said, we were friendly to each other. I just want another chance…

    • admin
      March 4, 2014 | 3:32 am

      Well first things first, just get through NC without any slip ups.

    February 20, 2014 | 4:49 pm

    hey Chris,i broke up with my bf coz he was being offish & later found out he had gotten back with his ex. This guy has been telling me that he wants to be with me & I should give him time to break up with his current gf, I think my biggest mistake was allowing us to date before he did (Break things off) because he turned me into a side chick & I started texting the girl with his phone telling her I’m with her so called man. when he found out he told me that he doesn’t have a problem with me going through his phone but I have no right to start texting people & that he asked me to give him time to’sort things out’.. now we haven’t spoken for over 5 days & I feel like texting him. Should I send him a text to try & make him jealous?

  48. catrina s
    February 17, 2014 | 6:46 am

    i broke up with my boyfriend 2months ago. he has been quiet but he dedicated a song 2 me and has been telling our friends that he misses me.. question is why hasn’t he called

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