How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Jealous

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Make no mistake about it, jealousy is a very powerful emotion. If it is used correctly it can be the driving force behind getting your ex boyfriend back. There is just one problem, most people have no idea how to correctly use it. I was reading a relationship article about jealousy the other day from a pretty well known relationship coach. His article basically went on to say that you should never use jealousy to try to get your ex back. The truth is, he is talking about using jealousy the wrong way to get your ex back. If you use jealousy in a smart way it is almost guaranteed to bring up previous romantic feelings that your ex had for you.

A Note About My Site

I promise you that my site is different from anything out there right now. Not only is my information more interesting and in-depth but I am extremely involved. That means that if you leave a comment I will respond to it personally. If you email me via the contact form I will probably get back to you within the day. I wanted to create a resource where women/and men could come and get top quality advice on getting their exes back. The truth of the matter is that the amount of free information that actually works is a rare commodity but I think I have done a pretty good job of leading the way in that regard. Anyways, lets talk a little about jealousy.

What This Page Is About

I want you to view this page as the “ultimate guide” to making your ex boyfriend jealous. Now, I can’t guarantee that the tactics on this page will make him jealous because lets be honest, your boyfriend is a human being and most human beings are impossible to control. With that being said, I have seen many of the tactics outlined on this page work for many of the women I communicate with. Here is what we will be covering today:

  • Why jealousy is so powerful.
  • I am going to give you a gameplan to make your ex jealous.
  • How the NCR works with jealousy.
  • Specific text messages that can be used to make your ex jealous.

So, that is what this page will be covering. BUT I do feel it is important to mention that if you came here looking for a way to get your ex boyfriend back you aren’t going to find it. This page is aimed specifically at making him jealous and nothing more. Sure, I have built in the idea of “getting him back” on this page but I don’t go into the amount of detail that you are looking for. IF you are looking for in-depth details and step by step guides to getting an ex boyfriend or husband back I would like to point you towards Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO, my E-Book. I will just let it speak for itself..

Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO

The Power Of Jealousy

Most men aren’t as complicated as you would believe. A married friend of mine once told me a little about the psychology behind a mans thinking and I happen to agree with him. It goes like this, most men forget how good they have it when they have been dating or married for an extended period of time. This usually means that the man will ignore his woman and her needs. Here is the kicker though, if a couple like the one I am describing (a man who is comfortable and not tending to his woman’s needs) go out to a bar and the woman starts flirting with other guys the dynamic will completely change. The “comfortable” man will no longer be so comfortable. All kinds of thoughts will be going through his head: anger, worry, jealousy, insecurity. The man will feel the need to protect his “property” and while he may be initially angry, if you play your cards right his behavior will completely change and you will start getting paid attention to.

The end lesson here: women have ultimate power over men!

Now, the “mock” situation I talked about above doesn’t apply to your situation perfectly (since your boyfriend is now your ex) but I guarantee that if you play your cards right bringing up those “protective” feelings in your man is very possible.

A Word..

Before you even attempt to make your ex jealous lets talk a little about what you want your ultimate goal to be. If you want to make your ex boyfriend jealous for the sake of making him jealous then I don’t think this is the page for you. I wrote this page with the intention of helping women use jealousy to win back their exes. So, if you want to make him jealous to bring out his protective and romantic side then this is the right page for that.

That is really what you are trying to accomplish here. You don’t want to make him jealous to rub it in his face. You want to make him jealous to remind him of what he is missing out on.

Your Jealousy Game Plan

What I am going to do now is give you a brief overview of how to properly use jealousy and then I will talk about each aspect in-depth. Reference the graphic below to understand your jealousy gameplan!

The No Contact Rule

The no contact rule is a must if you want to make your ex jealous. In fact, it is essential if you want to get your ex boyfriend back. I don’t want to go into too much detail here about it because I have done multiple in-depth posts about it already like this one. However, I will give you a short synopsis of how the no contact rule is supposed to work.

The No Contact Rule- You are not allowed to contact your ex in any way after the breakup for a minimum of 30 days.

How The NC Rule Works In Tandem With Jealousy

Alright, now that you have an idea of what the no contact rule is I am going to talk a little bit about the things you can do during the no contact period that can will your ex jealous. Ideally, after a breakup you need to give your ex some space (which is kind of what the no contact rule is for.) However, I don’t want to give you the impression that you are going to sit around during these 30 days of no contact and count your fingers (your not going to make your ex jealous that way.) Instead, I am going to ask you to do a few things.

Do Something During The No Contact Period… Anything

I get a lot of emails every single day (random fact- I have 9 unanswered emails in my inbox just from today) and one of the most common mistakes I see from women is the fact that they don’t do anything at all during the no contact period. Here is how it usually goes, they tell me that they can’t wait to start the no contact period one day and then two days later they email me back saying something like:

“Well, I broke NC and texted him.”

Here is the problem I have with this. When I ask women “what did you do during those two days?” they usually tell me that they didn’t do anything……

DID YOU EVEN READ EX BOYFRIEND RECOVERY PRO???

Look, if you want to make your ex boyfriend jealous I seriously want you to spend those 30 days NOT thinking about him. I want you to go down the checklist I am about to provide and address all of the things on it.

Disclaimer: Some of the things on this list WILL make you uncomfortable but I am not in the business of being nice for the sake of being nice I am trying to give you advice that will help make your ex jealous and hopefully put you in a position to where you can get him back.

  • Get in the best shape of your life.
  • If you have acne I want you to get medicine to treat it
  • If you are uncomfortable with your teeth (they are bad) I want you to go to a dentist.
  • I want you to go out with your friends and have a lot of fun (take pictures, lots of pictures they will come in handy later.)
  • Buy the sexiest outfit ever (not too revealing though.)
  • Get a sexy haircut. I want you to look at yourself in the mirror after this haircut and go “OMG, I look like a goddess.” (too corny?)

No Contact Facebook Jealousy

Disclaimer: This method will only work if you are still friends with your ex on Facebook. If you are no longer friends with him then don’t try to friend him… yet.

It’s amazing how big Facebook has gotten. I can remember back when I was in high school no one was talking about Facebook. All the rage was with MySpace. Funny how quickly that changed though. Anyways, I am going to give you the Facebook breakup jealousy rules now. I have found that the rules I am about to describe are the most effective at making your ex a little jealous.

  • After the breakup get rid of 95% of the pictures with you and your ex boyfriend. Pick out maybe one or two that your really like and keep them (you don’t want your ex to think he doesn’t have a chance at all to get back with you.)
  • Remember when I told you to take lots of pictures of you having fun with friends? Post those pictures.
  • If you have taken any pictures with guys while you were out having fun post those too. DO NOT post a picture of you kissing a guy. Trust me, this will hurt your chances of getting your ex back big time.
  • If your ex “likes” one of your photos or status updates do not do anything, just let it be.
  • Do not “like” any of your ex boyfriends updates or pictures. Just leave him be for now.

Dating During No Contact?

If you are an avid reader of this site then you may be aware that I am very much in favor of going out on a date with someone new during the no contact period. Actually, if you reference the “Ex Boyfriend Jealousy Plan” above you will notice that I put “Dating” as the last little bubble. When I said dating in the bubble above I meant dating other people. I am actually talking about it in this section because I believe that going out on a date (even if you have no intention of actually dating the person) is best to do during the no contact period.

Now, I will say that this is a completely optional step but it can be very effective. Especially if your ex boyfriend catches wind of it. I want you to take a moment and imagine how you have felt when, in your previous relationships you caught wind that your ex went out on a date with a new girl. Now, imagine your ex feeling that very emotion. Sure, he will be angry and sad but I promise you at the end of the day he is going to question why he ever let you go.

Building Rapport With Your Boyfriend

Now, if you followed my no contact advice above perfectly then I would imagine your ex has already gotten jealous but in the case that he hasn’t, don’t worry, we haven’t even gotten to the best stuff but we are about to! Eventually your no contact period of 30 days is going to end. The question is, what are you supposed to do then? Well, now it is time to open communication with your ex via text messaging. Why text messaging, well I wrote a whole article on it here.

Now, I am aware that you are looking for an exact step by step method for what you need to say to your ex but I am not going to get into that here because this page is supposed to only be about the ways you can make your ex jealous (I actually put together a guide about how you can use texting to get your ex back already.) What I will do is give you a few ground rules that you need to follow when contacting your ex.

  • You should aim to be in control of the conversation at all times.
  • If he doesn’t respond then DO NOT text him again. Wait a few days and try again.
  • Patience really is a virtue. You need to be very patient and realize that this is not going to happen overnight.
  • If you get angry or upset simply bow out of the conversation.
  • Don’t try to fix your broken relationship over a text message, it won’t work.
  • Don’t ask to meet up with your ex boyfriend.
  • Do not use texting as a booty call (you’d be surprised.)

(If you want more tips on how to text your ex I recommend picking up “The Texting Bible.”

Showing That You Are In Control Of The Conversation

This is so important that I gave it it’s very own section.

(I even talk about it in The Texting Bible.)

Showing that you have control of the conversation is very important for a number of reasons. In college, I began to notice a pattern between the girls I liked and the girls I didn’t like anymore. You see, I will admit that I am a little complicated. I can see a pretty girl and like her immediately. However, if she doesn’t challenge me, intellectually or emotionally, I will lose interest. One thing that I noticed between the girls that held my interest and the ones that didn’t was that girls who allowed me to be in control of the conversation didn’t interest me as much.

For me, and most other guys, it is a case of “Oh, I can have her anytime I want because I can tell she is trying too hard to get me.” Of course, the flip scenario goes like this. A girl who dominated the conversation literally can have men wrapped around her finger. I am not afraid to admit that I have been reduced to feeling pathetic by some girls because they felt they “could have me” anytime they wanted. I have named the phenomenon I described her as being “ungettable”

The “Ungettable” Persona- A type of persona that a girl can display. She basically has so much confidence that she reduces a guy into thinking that he can’t get her which really turns 85% of guys on. Achieving this persona is essential if you want to get your ex boyfriend back.

Achieving the ungettable persona is not easy. However, one thing that all “ungettable” girls have in common is that they dominate any conversation they are in with the opposite sex. So, I suppose the question now becomes, how do you dominate a texting conversation?

Well, luckily for you I have been on the receiving end of quite a few ungettable girls so I can tell you some of the tactics that they were able to use on me that proved to be pretty effective.

Ungettable Texting Dominance Example 1

The example below is an exact conversation I had with an unnamed “ungettable” girl. Notice how in this particular conversation she ended everything with a simple “hahahaha” and never responded to my texts after that. Now, this tactic was risky and only really worked on me because I clearly had feelings for the girl. Nevertheless, I was the one putting more effort into the conversation which meant she was in control.

Ungettable Texting Dominance Example 2 (What Not To Do)

I wanted to include this example, even though it is personally very embarrassing to me. Remember, I am just going through my phone in the last six months and pulling out conversations with girls who I really really really liked. A couple of things to note: this girl was probably the most attractive girl I have ever met. She came up and asked to dance with me at a local bar. Anyways, she dominated the conversation so much that I literally felt like I had no chance so I just gave up even though I really liked her. So, this is kind of an example of what NOT to do.

There is a lot more to the story but as you can see she dominated the very first conversation we had. I really liked her so I texted her the next day but I could never find my groove. I always felt like I wasn’t good enough and she would simply bow out of the conversations whenever she would like.

Bowing Out Of The Conversations By Not Responding- This is a pretty effective way to establish control. However, if you do it too much the guy will think he doesn’t have a chance with you. That was what happened above. So, I say if you are going to use this tactic make sure you use it sparingly.

Ungettable Texting Dominance Example 3 (Recommended)

I think that this example is really the perfect way to “control” the conversation. This is another example out of my phone with a girl who I liked once upon a time. I actually sat next to her in a college class and we developed a friendship. Once again, she wasn’t too beautiful but she definitely had the “ungettable” persona. Now, I want to note a couple of things: Notice how she had me hooked in the conversation. Also, the way she ended the conversation first was perfect. She sent the last two texts really closely together so I didn’t even have time to respond before she “had to go.”

Jealousy Texts

(For more jealousy text messages I recommend picking up The Texting Bible.)

Since we are on the subject of texting lets talk a little about the most important type of text if you want to make your ex boyfriend jealous, the jealousy texts. Using jealousy via a text message is a subtle art. In a way, you want to make your ex aware that you are out having fun with other guys that aren’t him but it won’t go over too well if you straight up text him “hey I was out on a date last night and I did blah blah blah.” Yeaaa…. you need to be really subtle at the way you work jealousy into your text messages. I am going to give you two really clever examples below that demonstrate this point. Now, there are thousands of ways to work jealousy into a text message but you are going to have to get creative because I am just going to give you these two examples (I am getting a little tired of writing to be honest haha.)

Romantic Movie

The romantic movie jealousy text I can’t take credit for. A guy named Michael Fiore really came up with it but I actually think it is really clever. Basically, you text your ex that you went to see a romantic movie with a friend (you don’t specify if the friend is male or female.) The fact that the words romantic and friend are placed so close together in the text will make your ex boyfriend wonder a little bit.

Was That You?

This is another text that I can’t take credit for. Again, Mr. Fiore deserves all the credit. Basically, in this text your are going to send your ex boyfriend a message saying something like “was that you at (place you frequent) last night.” If you want to get really aggressive with it you can add in “if it was, you looked really good ;)”

What Do You Think? (344)

  1. Mary - 0

    Mary

    I was dating a guy and he broke up with me for summer. I did no contact and he contacted me during it and I didn’t respond. Then I reached out and we decided we shouldn’t talk because we are done and he didn’t want the same thing to happen as last time. But then end of summer he started talking to me again and says he has no expectations but loves talking to me and wants to keep talking to me and see where it goes. He misses me yada yada and face timed me and like reared up. I messed up and hooked up with him so I lost the upper hand but now I need to get it back. He texted me if I’m out (at 1:30!!) nooo.. And idk how to move forward.. How do I make him want ME and not think I’m wrapped around his finger.. So what do I do about the text do I ignore it? And what do I do moving on from here?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Mary,

      so you’re not ldr right? Have your own life.. are you still talking now?

  2. kimia - 0

    kimia

    hi dear chris and EXB team,
    thanks for jealousy advices,you told all about how to make a guy jealous and the effects on him but i think you never told us anything about how a man’s mind works when he is trying to make her ex gf jealous during no contac period and the way to overcome his behavior, so I want to ask u a favor to tell us about this mystrious behavior of them

    Reply
    • kimia - 0

      kimia

      sry I meant “how a man’s mind works when he is trying to make HIS ex gf jealous during no contac period”

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Kimia,
      Basically you just ignore it because his purpose is to get you to react to it and
      Try this one:
      The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule

    • kimia - 0

      kimia

      I did ignore him,you know i decided to have no contact longer than 30days, because i think i was becoming clingy before breakup,I believe we needed more space,but now that he is acting crazy like this which i know him and i know he is not in love but he is acting like he is with a girl(an instagaram relationship), with a same name as mine. but can u tell by exprience after ignoring him for this mind games that he is playing, how long would it take for him to make a straight contact,i miss him so much :(((

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      oh I meant ignore his actions on trying to make you jealous.. don’t react to it, don’t bring it up to him..there’s no set time on how long he will do this but you have to influence it in a way that you continue the new lifestyle you started during nc to really show that you’ve changed and not just doing this things to get him nor compete on who moves on better

  3. Sophie - 0

    Sophie

    My boyfriend and I were dating for almost a year and a half. We started in high school. He started hanging out with a friend of his who I wasn’t really fond of. They went on a trip to see their friends at college. My boyfriend did stuff down there I wasn’t happy about. (Drinking and girls). We broke up in February and haven’t dated up to about a couple weeks ago. Once this friend of his left for the services, he asked me out because he would be lonely. Well he didn’t, and still doesn’t understand that I grew up with guys, I’ve always had more guy friends then girlfriends. And he never could wrap his head around it. Of course it never got in the way of us dating either. So recently we got into a really nasty fight and he kept emailing me (He was blocked on text messaging) trying to win me back asking to meet and things like that. I said sure I’d meet up just one time. It wasn’t really smart. He told me the other day when we got in a fight I was too young to do anything. I was 15 when we started dating. He has been constantly playing with my heart and I don’t know what to do. He goes out drinking and smoking cigars with his friends and that’s one thing we fight about. He hasn’t really talked to me because I told him to stop thinking he’d fight for me; which he didn’t. What should I do? Should I use your tips on jealousy or move on completely? He was my first love and it is really hard trying to get over him.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Sophie,

      so, do you want him backnor you want to move on?

    • Sophie - 0

      Sophie

      I think I want to move on. But while I’m working on that (just started the 30 day no contact rule) seeing if he comes back. But ultimately , move on.

    • Sophie - 0

      Sophie

      I don’t want to move on just yet actually. I want him back.

  4. Dale - 0

    Dale

    Really?? I’m sorry but if an ex of mine ever tried jealousy as a technique to get me back, her plan would be a colossal fail! Whenever a break up occurs, both parties are hurting. This jealousy plan is just more mind games and control in relationships. If an ex of mine tried this with me, I would be even more hurt and she would end up driving me even further away. After all, why would I want to hang around in order to experience more hurt? And while I acknowledge the necessity of a period of no contact in order to allow feelings to subside, I still feel that open and honest communication is best because at least both of you will know where you stand with one another and both of you can see whether or not the relationship can be rekindled and revived. Just sayin’!

    Reply
  5. Introverted - 0

    Introverted

    My ex and I broke up two months ago. I have done the NC for a total of 31 days since it happened. After NC, I asked him if we could be friends and he agreed. I called him the same evening and we caught up on our lives. Before I ended the call, he told me he missed me. We’ve been talking for a month now, and just recently started talking like we used to, until he just stopped talking to me all of a sudden. Two days ago, I’ve hung out with two guy friends at a mall I used to go to with my ex and one of them recorded a funny video of me in a conversation with one of the guys. I posted it on Instagram for the laughs, and for the first time in a while, I’ve never gotten so many views over one video over a short amount of time. He has ignored a message I sent two days ago, so I’ve let him be since. We talk on Snap Chat and occasionally Facebook Messenger. It hit me that maybe his friends that I follow and him included saw the video that same day. He still looks at my Snap stories, but he won’t talk to me. I want to know if this is his sign of jealousy?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Introverted..,

      yeah it can be

  6. Georgina - 0

    Georgina

    Hello Amor,

    I have been trying to get my ex back for 6 months using the pro system. I got to the point where we were spending time together and he said he wanted me back but isn’t sure it’s a good idea and doesn’t want a relationship right now but sees a future with me. I continued to date others but very subtly to try and make him commit and see my value, he found out and said he couldn’t handle seeing me when I am seeing other people. He then messaged me to say he has also been on dates but doesn’t know why because he knows he doesn’t want a relationship right now. He has now said he needs space because he knows he can’t be in a relationship right now and when he sees me it is torturing him because it makes him want me and he says whenever he sees thing on facebook, his mum asks about me or I text him it is torturing him and he has a mental battle in his head. Even though he said he needs space he has said not for too long and he would like a coffee soon. I have done everything I can to this point, texting and showing my value, he tells me that I am perfect and wife material, so my view is if he wants me he will make it happen, if anything I am being too available to him and am going to wait for him to contact me now and keep moving on. I am treating this space like no contact so was going to continue to show how great I am on social media and also do subtle jealousy, but I am worried this may be wrong in this situation. If all of that is making him emotional, do I need him to heel more from the break up to come back to me? Or do I want to keep making him emotional? Also if my jealousy tactics made him say he can’t see me whilst I am seeing others, is this a negative or positive response? Should I continue to show that guys are paying me attention? Look forward to hearing from you!

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Georgina

      I think you need to lay low on dating others but continue to do what you are doing to maintain himself. Do you have an idea what’s holding him back?

    • Georgina - 0

      Georgina

      Hi Amor,

      Thank you for replying to my comment! Okay, thank you, I will do. Do you mean what I am doing to maintain myself? So I want to still keep present on social media so he sees my value that way. I think it is just fear. He told me he is happy at the moment and just doesn’t want anything to change, but has also told his friends his sees us back together and told me I would be a perfect wife. We moved in together, turned out he wasn’t ready but had moved in because he was worried he would lose me if we didn’t move forward after 4 years together. Then he left, came back after a month of NC contact but wasn’t sure what he wanted and didn’t want to hurt me. I think overall he is just scared. He messaged me the other day saying he can’t see me because when he does he wants to be with me and is worried he will make a decision that he is not ready for at this point in his life. I just don’t know what it means. It was honestly the longest text he sent and within he said all these things and about wanting a coffee soon, sometimes saying as friends and also saying we just need this time apart at the moment. should I accept his friendship and work from there? I replied saying I understood and if needed time he should take take it and a coffee would be nice when he is ready at a pace he is comfortable with.

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      yeah, I think you should take up bing friends with him and then take it slow.. maybr he loves you but he’s just not ready for a marriage level kind of relationship

  7. Tracy - 0

    Tracy

    Hi,

    The article is quite good.
    Me and my ex boyfriend are colleagues. We had been having issues for a long time. I always felt unwanted all throughout the entire 10 months that we were together. Every time i expressed it, it turned into a fight because every time i expressed myself, he would use that opportunity to bring up something he dislikes about me and it would eventually turn into a blame game and we would trace back to about 4-5 fights.
    After every fight he would stop talking to me.
    So finally one day i could not take it anymore and i broke up with him.

    Inspite of being in the same team we managed to have a complete no contact for about 1 and a half months.
    During that time we didnt speak to each other, no tests, no social media.
    After that i called him once to tell him that people are noticing it and we should at least be cordial.
    He agreed to it and now we speak a little, only when required, during office hours.
    One thing i know about him is that he has a very high self esteem and way too much ego.
    I did try to remind him of the good times, by may be talking about a trip we went to with our colleagues,
    or humming a song of a movie we liked and watched together.
    Also i look happy around him.
    But since his ego is too high i don’t know what more to do and what next to do
    All i want it that he tells me he didnt treat me right.
    May be that can bring some closure.
    I am ok not having him back. But i am not ok for not being appreciated for all the efforts i made to made it work.
    He was great before the relationship. Always wanting to talk tot me and wanted to meet me.
    After relationship he took me for granted completely.
    Never called on his own, never took me out unless i pestered him to go on a date.
    sometimes yes, he would be nice to me and text me or call me to his place.
    But very rare.

    Now i need him to realize.
    Any suggestions might help.
    Thanks

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Tracy,

      actually if you really want him to realize that, move on from getting his validation and start to move on to your own life.. because we can’t control others, we can only control ourselves.. it’s better if you just focus your energy on your growth, instead of getting his opinion because you’re the only one thinking about that, while he’s already moved on and doesn’t even think about what he did.. let it go and let him be.. his opinion is only one thing, your decision relies on you, not on what he says, so take back that power by letting his opinion go.

  8. Ashley - 0

    Ashley

    My ex-boyfriend and I of six months broke up yesterday due to him cheating on me and lying about it the whole time. The girl he was cheating with didn’t know i was his girlfriend because he told her that I was his ex. I broke up with him and then he kept trying to talk to me….what should I do?

    Reply
  9. sarah - 0

    sarah

    Hello dear Chris ,you have helped me so much during my breakup, i used the no contact rule after my ex dumped me admitting he has no feeling for me anymore .after one exact month of no contact rule i unblocked him on whats-app ,he started messaging me straight away he said he misses me a lot and he felt my love during this absence thus he wants us back together , he also showed his jealousy though he is not been the jealous kind of men ,whenever he sees me online on whats-app he keeps asking me who are talking to ,are you seeing someone else, how could you move on like i don`t matter to you . i keep my answers short ,i tell him it is none of his business i can talk to whoever i want.Now i need your help again chris ,how to make my ex suffer before he gains me back i want to be a challenge for him , i don`t want him to see me a game which he can play with whenever he feels, how can i remain in control. btw we are in distance relationship for nearly 2 year .thank you so much once again for your help

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Sarah,

      I think suffer is a strong word.. I think you mean you want him to prove he really values you?
      Actually it’s just the basics with texting and calling.. by ending the convo in high point politely, you would leave him wanting more and work for you more..
      when he sees you’ve been continuing to maintain yourself and improving yourself, he would be attracted to you more..
      and then when he asks to get back with you, that’s when you say you’re not ready because you’re not confident in him yet..

      and when you get back together, know your priorities. Set a balance between him and your personal life.. Remember balance, don’t over do being independent.. keep him being attracted to you by keeping your personal life productive.

  10. Rachel - 0

    Rachel

    Long story short my ex and I have been communicating every day for about a month now. Last night he saw a picture of me and a guy friend at the bar (just sitting side by side, nothing sexual at all) and my ex texted me saying how f’d up it is that I’m out with other guys. I told him the picture wasn’t intentional and that the guy is just a friend. He just kind of stopped responding. I know he’s still upset because he usually messages me first thing in the morning and I haven’t heard from him yet. I’m not exactly sure if I should try to reach out to him and talk about things or let me come to me or just ignore it all together…

    Reply
    • Rachel - 0

      Rachel

      Update he blocked me from everything he is that upset

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Rachel,

      are you still blocked? Just let him be.. you’re not doing anything wrong.. during last month are you calling and seeing each other too?

    • Rachel - 0

      Rachel

      Amor,
      We are long distance which complicates things but we had a long talk the other night and agreed it’s best that we part ways. He has shown some true colors during this breakup and I can honestly do a lot better. I’m just glad I finally got some closure. Thank you for all your support.

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      You’re welcome!

  11. Soumyaa - 0
  12. RGD - 0

    RGD

    My boyfriend broke up with me right after Christmas 2015 after about 1year and 8 months. We had a really bad argument and I said some hurtful things and so did he. We were so in love but I think we began to drift apart about six months prior. Apparently he immediately started seeing someone else. I found out who she is on FB but he does not know. We had been doing some jealous posting on FB. We began communicating again. I have been less argumentative and listening to him more. We have been running no together again as well. He tells me that he still loves me and wants to get back together. And that he made a mistake breaking up to begin with and only jumped right into something else because his feelings were hurt. I think he is trying to figure out how get out the situation but it feels like he does not want to hurt the other girl either. He is about to go out of the country for about 4 months. Please help! Is there any hope for us at this point? And is there any hope for us to get back together?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      HI RGD,

      if the other girl is still present, it’s better to keep your distance because if he sees you’re okay with it. He might end up not having to choose at all and keep both of you

  13. Elanna - 0

    Elanna

    Recently my boyfriend of six months came clean to me about cheating on me. He was very genuine the whole time and did say that the cheating was an extremely drunken hook up (basically blackout) and he thought he could just leave it be and move past it, but it started to eat him alive when he found out my sister had gotten cheated on. So, many people have the opinion that cheating is cheating and is unforgivable, however now after talking to him I see he genuinely is hurt because he cried to me saying he missed his bestfriend, and he could not throw away our time together. I simply asked why he did not fight for me then, and he said that he couldn’t because he’s fighting with himself for hurting the one thing he cared about most in the entire world. Yesterday we talked face to face, and discussed taking time apart to just be friends and maybe work back to how we were and he said he didn’t want me to stop living life and wait because we can’t guarantee anything. All is fair, so I knew he had started to talk to other girls and I did the same by testing the waters with other guys. I still love my ex and want to be with him but I think he’s conflicted with his feelings. He says he still loves me but in a way it has changed because when he looks at me he sees all the hurt he has caused me and the mistake he made and he doesn’t know if he can forgive himself. However, after agreeing to be friends, he found out other guys had been approaching me and he continued to get jealous and started yelling and saying mean things to me out of anger, saying I didn’t consider his feelings. I would like to be with him again at some point as crazy as that sounds, and want to give the NC method a try. Do you think that it would really work in this case?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Elanna,

      I think you should tell him that you’ve forgiven him about his mistake and that you understand and that he should forgive himself too

  14. Sami - 0

    Sami

    My boyfriend and I were together for a year and a half. It wasn’t the easiest relationship, we fought quite a bit due to his drinking and I have a habit of trying to make him jealous so I feel wanted. I know it’s terrible and I’m trying to stop. He got drunk and left me a month ago. I begged and pleaded and then decided to go nc. It worked because a week later he started messaging me telling me he made a stupid drunken mistake again and that this isn’t what he wanted. He started showing up to my house every night and it felt good to feel wanted. So knowing I finally had that control I ran with it. I said things for the sole purpose of just trying to make him jealous and I took it one step too far and he snapped. He told me he’s done and that he doesn’t want to be with someone like that and that he feels like he has to stay because of how upset I get and how I beg him to stay. Said he wanted me until I said all those things. I told him I liked having the control for once, since I never have, and that everything I said wasn’t true and just to get him jealous but it didn’t matter. What have I done? How could I be so stupid? I was so close to having him back and I blew it.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Sami,

      how is it now? have you talked again?

    • Sami - 0

      Sami

      He actually just left, we talked but nothing got resolved. He said he wouldn’t want to hurt me again like this so he thinks it’s better to just stay away because he’s better on his own 🙁

  15. tanvi - 0

    tanvi

    hi…my relation was for 1year 4 months…aftr 1 year he started behaving wierd with mi..saying mi tht u r boring ..evrytym u hit mi n blah blah blah…i said srry 2 him aftr tht…bt as exams wer on head.he strtd ignoring mi ..we did too many fights bt aftr we wer together…n frm tht day he dsnt msg mi or rply mi .n i too did mistake of saying his mistakes to his mom ….thn he did brkup wit mi…n now m not chating wit him..n he blocked mi….he is saying his frnds tht m i in relationship wit other or not..soo will he come back aftr ur NC rules…….i really need him soo muchh….it makes mi cry avry night thnkng abt him…plzz giv sme idea…

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Tanvi,

      Nc can’t guarantee that.. It can make the chances increase but we can’t assure that you will get him back just because of that… But with your situation, there’s no other option too but to do nc.. I’m sorry to say this but you have become clingy and needy.

      You need to be on your own so you can learn to love yourself too and so that when you get into a relationship again or get back with him, it would be because it’s a choice and not a need..

  16. noreen - 0

    noreen

    Is spacing good to renew a relationship?does it really work?

    Reply
  17. anon - 0

    anon

    My ex reacted bad to my jealousy text. I said to him if he was him the guy in a certain place the day before that I had seen and that he looked good. He said to me that the guy was so good that he wasn’t him and that he was at home the day before. What I have to do?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Anon,

      is that his exact text? What did you reply?

    • anon - 0

      anon

      he said that this gui was so good that he wasn’t him and he was at home the day before and I answered that I was in a hurry and that I was wrong

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      I think that’s a good answer..Hmm.. try again a first contact text.. aftr 3-4 days..

  18. Sara - 0

    Sara

    I have a couple quick questions. My boyfriend dumped me two weeks ago and I have not had any contact with him, but I work with his mom and she and I last talked about him three nights ago (I don’t know if she repeated anything to him or not). Do you think I should start the no contact rule as of three nights ago in case he heard that I am still upset? I haven’t talked to her since and am not going to talk about him with her anymore. Also, not that I think this is going to happen, but what if he contacts me before the NC period is up? Do I ignore him?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Sara,

      Well, it doesn’t matter now if you started threr daus ago or not.. If yiu want to start today.. go ahead..and yes, don’t reply to him

  19. Ciara - 0

    Ciara

    Chris,

    Been reading your advice since day 1 of the of a two year relationship break up 3 months ago. Thank-you!

    Implemented a month no contact rule after two weeks of break up. He tried calling a few times during this. Starting making a good amount of repour with ex following on from this. Last week we had to see each other and ended up having a really fun time together and hooking up a few times, we both enjoyed our time together and I can tell he misses me, as I do him. We haven’t spoken about what happened and I’m not sure how he feels but I’d really appreciate how you think I should move on from here? He won’t unblock me from Fb as he can’t deal with it but I get the impression he doesn’t want to take anything further relationship wise. I’m very confused.

    I’ve been dating other people and I am surprisingly in a happy place. Our chemistry is something else though and being with him feels so right but I don’t want to make bad decisions and not sure how to act now.

    Kind regards

    Reply
  20. Chris Seiter - 0

    EBR Team Member: Amor

    Hi Priya,

    Why do you always asked him? Do you feel he’s changing or you’re afraid that he’s going to?

    Reply
  21. DR - 0

    DR

    My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me last week. He said he was unhappy and that he loved me, but wasn’t in love with me anymore. He said he wanted to find out if he could be happier without me. The next day he texted me asking me if I was okay, and told me he was feeling “numb.” He then asked me if I wanted to be friends and when I said I didnt know, he asked me to take as much time as I needed to think about it. I asked him why he messaged me and he said because he cared and wanted to talk to me. Then he thanked me for not cutting him off completely. I am currently up to 5 days NC. Its unbelievably hard and he hasn’t tried to message me. I just want to know if I have a chance at getting him back, and if so how do I go about it?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Dr,

      I think you do. Falling in love is different with staying in love. Make yourself more attractive again. Follow the ungettable girl ways. I think that will help to bring the spark back.

    • DR - 0

      DR

      Thank you, Amor. Just to clarify, what are the ungettable girl ways exactly? Or where can I find them? Do I still continue with 30 days of no contact?

    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      You’re welcome! It’s better if you finish nc. I’d love to explain the ungettable girl but this post will help you better. The Ungettable Girl

  22. Linda - 0

    Linda

    I was seeing someone since February but it never got serious he never asked me out we just slept together through the year. We got into an argument and I told him how he dragged me into a game and that he never treated me right because he never asked me to be his girlfriend and thought that we were done because we both said really mean things to each other. Well then I get a text that he wanted to see me and I refused but then changed my mind, he didn’t answer me, so I started the no contact rule and haven’t contacted him Since 1/17/16 and I am now seeing someone else. I still have feelings for him but will posting a picture of my new friend and me help me or will he think that it’s finally over between us?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Linda,

      it depends on the pic. If you’re just posting a pic of the two of you side by side, no intimate gestures, it might get him thinking but if you post a pic of the two of you kissing, it can push him away

    • Linda - 0

      Linda

      It’s my friend and I side by side, not kissing. I can send it to you. My new friend has a big smile on his face. I just want him to ask me to be his girlfriend, we went to elementary school together and we have great chemistry.

    • Linda - 0

      Linda

      I give up. He was never serious about me. He’s hitting on anyone and when I mean on anyone I mean it, anyone but me. He is asking girls our left and right and they turn him down but it bothers me that he does and quite simply I don’t think I want him back if he’s trying so hard to get with anyone and he keeps on commenting on their pictures how much he loves them and they just say thank you and then for him to come back to me just because he couldn’t get any of them. I just have to accept the fact that he doesn’t want me for a serious relationship only to sleep with once in a while because even for that I was the one initiating it. It hurts because I love him but I really need to forget about him.

  23. brit - 0

    brit

    Hi there i have a a few things i need help with been dating this guy i love n he says im his everything n he loves me we been dating since 2012 have a 2 year old son he was running his own busniss and reno a house which made alot of stress he has broke up with me 10 times never last more then a couple weeks sometimes even days bc we would disagree or he would take on more stuff rather than realzizing what a family needs not just his own. Always claims hes done thennalways comes back. The past time this summer i startrd hanging with griends other guys soon as he got wind he it was blow up my phone going to go to a counslor bevause he is un stable with always letting the stress get the best of him. And seen ancounslor was everything i wanted him to be than bam 4 months later same the thing back to his old selfish ways breaking up with me. He acts jeloues i got my own place again. With our son. He came over just slept with me and txt me when he left saying. Lol I’m not flustered :p I know I got a long road ahead of me I hope to get clean and figure my shit out have a nice night. I asked him how its been the last week apart he said to early to tell. So how do i follow no contact rule when every day i have to see him bc he pickings up our son from daycare dont nsg him in less its about daycare or are son. All my family n friends think he will be back bc he has every other time this summer took me ring shopping wanted to be eanaged than now this again i really love him but he needs proper help not just 7 counslor sessions your not a changed man and he thought he was and he doesnt party doesnt hang with friends just works at the reno house. And one of my trucks is still at his place where we were staying. I want him back but not with out him getting help.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Brit,

      That’s good that you want him to get help first. Yes, you can do no contact even if you see him n everyday because of your son. Ju at limit talking to him. only talk to him about your son

  24. Vanessa - 0

    Vanessa

    Hi Chris, so I came to this site because after 6 years together my boyfriend broke up with me and I was trying to do what other sites say to move on from the relationship by trying my best not to contact him and you know give myself time to mourn the relationship. I was doing great I was working out and hanging out with my friends, I didn’t really post many photos of myself going out but I did post really good pictures of myself and when I saw he would like them I would post more photos of things we use to do together like a tv show we watched together and foods he liked me to make. So recently after almost 4 weeks of no contact, he sends me a text message saying he misses my cooking and my voice, even asked how the food came out and said my tacos were the best (the ones I posted pictures of). I don’t know what to do I would love to give him another opportunity but I’m scared he’s just going to hurt me again. The reason we broke up was because a month before we broke up I mentioned to him that I was feeling like I wasn’t his priority and that I wanted more things in life and from our relationship, I wanted it to move to the next level. I think that scared him and so he called me one day and told me he couldn’t give me what I wanted and we broke up. I didn’t fight it I just said if that’s how you feel then I guess this is good bye. We haven’t seen each other yet but I’ve asked to pick up my things I had over his apartment and I would give him his stuff. I did ask to keep some of his t-shirts and he asked to keep some sweats of mine that were too big for me so he wore them. Should I wait to see him? I’m still working out and I would love to shove that in his face how good I’m starting to look.

    Reply
  25. aisha - 0

    aisha

    Hii chris .its me aisha here as u said 30 days no.contact i cnt livewidout my bf 30 mins den 30 days hw cn i? I really love him n i tried alot bt he ismt cuming back plss help me out to get him back plsss:-(;-(

    Reply
  26. Sarah - 0

    Sarah

    So I’ll just try to sum it up. I was dating a guy for 4 mounts after about 3 months in when we said we loved eachother I was freaking out was upsessing about my ex boyfriends and the more he got annoyed the more I pushed him away because of my past hurts I was scared be both agreed we need time apart to get our heads together but I was him that wanted the break up I agreed because I will not beg a man to be with me I know the more you do that the more they will run its ben about a week now and I’ve messed up and have ben texting him he aways respond however I asked him his feelings for me he says he still likes me a lot and dosent want to lose me in his life but the feelings are not as stong anymore and also sometimes I feel like he is more disrespectful to me now.. I put a post on fb about going out with my girlfriend and he is also on my cuz face book and I noticed that he liked all of her pictures they only met once am I paranoid or is he in to her or trying to make me jealous I don’t know what to think he knows I’m close to her I won’t tell him I’m jealous cuz I don’t want to fight anymore we had a friendly conversation yesterday but I’m the one how started it do I still do no contact in the situation I’m in I don’t wanna be someone who is there for convenience I want gim to see me the way he did befor strong independent I’m working on dealing with my issues from my past so I can be happy and hole again but I know he is the one I want to be with when I’m done

    Reply
  27. LilianLu - 0

    LilianLu

    Quick question- my ex volunteers at a local festival. I know he will be there. I want him to be jealous, and I want him to see I can get a fantastic guy. Would it be out of line to take a date with me to this festival? My ex knows I’d be going anyway, so it isn’t a far-fetched thing. I’ve gone the last three years.

    This move feels kind of mean and bitchy. But my girlfriend says it’s a great idea. Thoughts?

    Reply
  28. Kait - 0

    Kait

    I know you get thousands of messages like this, but I really need some advice. I think I’ve completely blown my chances of ever getting my ex back, even if I do follow your guides/advice. Basically we’ve been on and off for over a year now and we argue a lot, he never apologises after arguments and will just ignore me for the rest of the day or even for a day+ where as I’ll apologise most of the time regardless and I hate being ignored, especially by him, and then when he does speak to me he just acts normal again or sometimes he’ll say things like ‘going to be a normal gf or still an angry troll’ I admit when we argue at times I can say some really horrible and unforgivable things, but so has he. He’s said many times over the past months that he doesn’t love me and hasnt wanted to be with me for months now. It’s mostly him who breaks up with me, I’ve only ever broken up with him I’ve but I didn’t mean it. He’s also said that he’s only taken me back because I made him or wouldn’t leave him alone. Now last week we had a huge fight on Sunday and things got so bad and again he said were over and that he doesn’t love me anymore and that once I leave his house I won’t be setting foot in there ever again. Things got broken and he got angry and pushed me but I replaced the broken things and got them sent to his house. He text me after the break up saying he got the items but he can’t accept them knowing how he feels about us and that he sees no future for us and doesn’t see us ever working. I tried to do no contact but failed on day 3 🙁 and text him back saying ‘Hey, I was just thinking about the first time we went to the cinema together to see Jurassic World, it was so good. I am glad we did that.’ But because he didn’t reply I turned into a text gnat and then said ‘could we talk please? I don’t like how things were left.’ He replied ‘I enjoyed the good times we had too but things arent the same and we argue too much, please send me your address so i can return the items as it doesnt feel right’ I responded ‘I don’t want to lose you, so will you please work with me to make our relationship work again, I know I don’t deserve it but I care for you deeply and I love you..I want you to keep the them, I’m sorry.’ And again he didn’t respond so I text him again saying ‘Please just talk with me, even if you hate me, please hear me out.’ He responded saying ‘it’s over I sorry, there’s nothing else I can say’ I continued to keep begging him to take me back and him not replying and when he I asked him if he loved me he said no sorry and he also said he won’t be contacting me anymore and i really dont want to upset you more and talking is doing that, you are more than welcome to let me send the items back, other than that good bye. I continued to bombard him with messages and calls, he replied no my minds made up..I continued to message and call him the next day too but no reply. It’s not been almost 3 days I haven’t heard from him and I’m absolutely terrified of losing him. I didn’t text him today so this is the first day I haven’t contacted him for..I want to try the no contact but I always end up caving in. Do you think the Nc rule will get him to speak to me or even give us a chance of ever getting back together? Please help.

    Reply
  29. shona.. - 0

    shona..

    hei,i need serious help.. i dont know wheather am doing is right or wrong.. i seek for some advice.. this is ma story.. i am a girl and i had a guy friend and we were friends for nearly 3 years or more.. he had a crush on me and though i didn have a crush on him,and at the begining he was a normal friend of mine.. later he started proposng me often and often i thought of loving him but things suddenly changed and i dont know wheather i liked him o not and we had lost of issues as he lost intrest on me and we lost contacts.. then in the middle of this story i met a guy and fell in love and was going on peacefully when this earlier guy entered back again in ma life.. but i told him i was in a relationship n he stopped proposing me and we are friends now because he wanted to be friends.. but now that earlier guy told me that he is in a relationship and even i was ok with it because i am already in a relationship and i am totally happy and content with ma pressent guy. but now this so called friend of mine texts me in watsapp telling all sorts of thinfs he did with his girl and this makes me a bit inconvient.. i dont know wheather it is jealous,anger or any other feeling i dont understand it properly.. but to state one fact,ma lover makes me happy and i am blessed to have this guy who sacrifises so many things to me.. i love him at the first place.. now that friend of mine distracts me and i am planning to block him in watsapp to get rid of this shit and to continue ma relationship.. is this good.? and in what situation am right now? n one more thing is that ma lover doesnt like me to have contacts with other guys and even i like to respect it so shall i block him off?? will he think i am rude and what will his opinion be about me if i do such a thing.. please i need a reply..
    thankyou.. hope you will help me..

    Reply
  30. rakhi - 0

    rakhi

    uumm… my story is a li’l complicated , my guy loves me n i know he does but he just cant get over his ex gf . infact he cheated on me 2 times with her . but he just doesnt wanna break up with me . i asked him to stay away from his ex n so he did . but i still dont trust him i just wanna do something to him so that he just loves me more than anyone.

    Reply
  31. adriana - 0

    adriana

    i just want to make my ex jealous some how i need to make him realize what an asshole he really was, (probably is) i want to make him so jealous that i want him running toward my house crying..

    Reply
  32. Julie - 0

    Julie

    Hello,
    My boyfriend just broke up with me a week ago and I don’t know what to do. This is my last resort, so I really need help please! So here’s the story, he and I started dating 2 years ago. At first the relationship wasn’t too great because his ex was still in the picture. He’d go back and forth between us but he finally decided that he wanted to be with me. We moved in together and everything went great for a few months. After that he started showing his bad habits and I honestly thought that it would drive me crazy! His feelings towards me were very strong and he wasn’t thinking about his ex anymore (he even admitted it himself when we broke up), but the thing is that his habits were sooo bad that I kept on telling him that I would leave him if he didn’t at least make efforts to change them (don’t get me wrong, I didn’t want to change him I wanted to help him). I told him many times that my feelings for him were changing because of all that and that I didn’t love him anymore. I could see that everytime that I said that it broke his heart a little more everytime until the point where we got into a huge fight and 2 days after, he left me. He said that he had met up with his ex and that he realized that he still had feelings for her. Now one week later, he’s dating her but he still lives with me … and will for another 9 months. I want to let him go and give him a chance to be happy because I know that I caused him so much pain, but him leaving me taught me a VERY big lesson and I would NEVER try to change him again. The thing is that I really love him and I’m soooo scared of loosing him! He told me one week before we broke up that he wanted to marry me and have kids soon. I’m so confused and I really don’t know what to do. We still live together and that makes it harder! Plus his new gf (or ex as I like to call her) has a kid and she doesn’t want him to live with them for a while so there’s no chances of us moving anytime soon. So what should I do?!?!?! Pleaseeeee someone help me!!! This is driving me insane and I can’t deal with the breakup properly because of our situation! Can someone help me please?!?! What do I do?!?!?

    Reply
  33. Michelle - 0

    Michelle

    Dear Chris–I’m in a bad way and afraid I may do something completely irrational….I hope you will read this and answer because I’m damn near over the edge here!! I’m feeling emotions I can’t begin to process. Long story short, my ex and I tecnically broke up 2 years ago after 7 years together, but after a month of NC, decided to see each other again but also date other people. I guess you would call it FWB because he “didn’t want to be tied down”. By the beginning of this year, we were getting closer to each other, and he was talking about having me move in with him. But in June, he started to seriously date another woman, and I broke it off with him because of it. After 3 wks of NC, he came crawling back, begging for another chance. At that time, he was working his butt off to convince me he was serious, and I decided to give him another chance. Things were great until 2 wks ago when I found out he took ths above-mentioned woman on a weekend trip. I broke it off with him 4 days ago, telling him I couldn’t do this on and off, hot and cold anymore. He told me he wasn’t serious about her, that she’s an alcoholic that can’t even satisfy him in bed, and that she means nothing to him, but that he realized he just wasn’t ready to commit to one woman. Said he feels so deeply for me it scares him. Said he wants a future with us but isn’t ready to commit. He added me back to Facebook then, to “show me he had nothing to hide”. I told him as of now it’s over, but that if he ever decided he was ready to quit playing around and give our relationship a real chance, he could come find me. As he left, I said “Goodbye Matt” and he said “Not Goodbye, just Goodbye for now”. So today I log onto Facebook, and the first 2 photos I see are of him and the “alcoholic” girl, kissing, and making out, tagging each other as “my love” and he changed his status to “in a relationship”!!! Now, this is the same guy who NEVER posts pics on Facebook, because he says he doesn’t like people knowing his business. Same guy that NEVER changed his relationship status for me. Same guy who does not like his family members to see him being physically affectionate with a woman (his whole family is on his Facebook). And same guy who just 4 days prior was MAKING LOVE to me (yes I went there) and telling me this chick meant nothing to him. I am beside myself Chris! I want so bad to comment on those posts….to make HER aware he was just with me and all the stuff he said….but also to CALL HIM OUT on his BS!!! Please tell me Chris, WHY would he be so cruel to me, and what do I do now, because I don’t want to do something I will later regret! Please help, my head is spinning right now!! Thank you, God Bless you!

    Reply
    • AnonymousHelp - 0

      AnonymousHelp

      Hey,

      As a girl who has been in an on/off relationship for 7+ years, I can tell you he is trying too hard to make you jealous.

      Its clearly working on you and making you want him more now. He also wants to get his way in the relationship with you.

      I say NC 30+ days. Go to his fb profile and click “unfollow” without unfriending him so you dont see his posts. Live your life. Go on dates. Get some attention from other people. Stay busy.

      I hope this helps till Chris gets back to you.

  34. Lauren - 0

    Lauren

    Hi,

    I not sure quite what to do. My husband of 13 years just left me with our 2 very young children. (Ages: 23 months and 6 months) The no contact rule I just can’t do because he sees our kids everyday or every other day. And we are in constant contact either phone calls or texts. Do you have any suggestions?

    Thank you

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      Chris Seiter

      I know this must be very heartbreaking and scary for you. I will try to help you to the best of my ability but I will need some more information.

      Do you know why he left? Mid-life crisis? Another woman? Bored? etc?

      Did he ask for a divorce/separation? Where is he currently staying? (In the house with you? With his parents? Own apt?)

  35. anamika - 0

    anamika

    I want my b.f back.i dnt know wht he wants from me he ignored me and stopped message me.I dnt know wht he wants from me. But i want he is come back in my lyf please please please.

    Reply
  36. Alex - 0

    Alex

    Hi chris! So I need advice but about a guy I never actually dated… idk if you can help? But we were talking for a few months and I’m very standoff-ish and I think he started to lose interest. Problem is I like him a lot and I think he might possibly be talking to someone else now… idk if you can help but I really want to get his attention again.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      Chris Seiter

      What makes you standoffish? Do you flirt with him at all?

    • lost in love - 0

      lost in love

      well i have an ex that goes to my school he trys to get me jealous by talking to one of my friends that i think likes him but he still stares at me.

  37. Rose - 0

    Rose

    Hi Chris! I’m so glad that I found your website. Anyways I’ve started the NC rule on my ex 3 days ago and so far I’m doing good. I was the one who broke up with him after a huge fight where he hinted that I can’t make it up to him because I won’t change my behavior. When we fight I’m a verbal sniper and admittedly I guess he got tired of it. I still love him, but I did tell him that since I needed to modify this behavior that time and space is what he needs from me and that action speaks louder than words. I did tell him that I needed to work on being the best version of myself if I’d have anything to offer at all and that its time for us to move on. Now, I work with this guy but he works at a different building but since I broke up with him, I’ve noticed that he’s been on our side of the building a lot. Always hangs out where the rest of the other supervisors are, and a few times tried to get my attention. First day of NC and as I was walking past his office he calls me and asks if something happened to me coz he noticed I was walking with a limp, so me being taken aback just ended up with this dumb look on my face thinking: the f*ck!? So I end up saying it’s my normal swag. And then he lets it go. 2nd day I find him slumming in my supervisors office where I always go to just pretty much hang out. Awkward. Today I had just finished my 1.5mile run and was walking around in gym shorts at work talking with a male co-worker and I see him with this murderous look on his face. What gives? None of us has contacted each other yet via text but I’m hell bent on making it to 30days just to let you know. 🙂

    Reply
  38. Shanti - 0

    Shanti

    i am not sure if i m going to get a reply here but could really use some thoughts. After my bf brokeup with me he started NC, after a while used mutual frds to stalk and all and i knew exactly what he was doing all along. i wasnt playing along though, i dnt believe in any of these. i just know that we will be together both of us want it but i recently got really pissed of with a mutual frd trying to defend herself & convince me that she isnt involved (i am 200% sure she is), i sent an angry text to him asking him to stay away and stick to his decision of breakingup with me. Now i know tht he is just waiting for me to contact him and i dont want to. i need him to see what he has done wrong and apologise but this guy is so stubborn tht he wont. now what shd i do? just wait around??

    Reply
  39. Wisdom - 0

    Wisdom

    Here is the TRUTH: If you have to make your ex boyfriend jealous, then it’s not worth it. Do you really want to have to do all that work to stir up feelings in someone? Are those feelings that you stir up even genuine? Men are competitive by nature, we know this. Just because the jealousy tactic operates on this truth does not mean it will work in your favor. Isn’t it better to focus on how wonderful you are and how someone better will come along and appreciate you for exactly who you are? All of this effort to make someone jealous is wasted effort because it showcases pettiness and is contrived to bring up a very negative emotion in someone. Of course we want things to work out like it does in the movies – with your ex boyfriend running after you thinking that you have other options…but do the movies ever show you the ever after? Is it happy? What if after he has you back, he mistreats you again? Takes you for granted? Focus on strengthening yourself and being confident. Love yourself and you will soon realize that there is no need to make any guy jealous to get him back.

    Reply
  40. Maria - 0

    Maria

    Hi, I wrote my experience on this site about a year and a half ago. During that time me and my boyfriend broke up. We broke up because I was too much needy and I wasn’t giving him enough space. I used to complain whenever he had to go out with friends, I did not trust him enough. He broke up with me and I was so desperate that I went through every site on internet till I got on this site and read almost all the articles on how to get your ex boyfriend back. I also spoke with Chris and he suggested the no contact rule. I tried it a couple of times and all the time I used to break the rule and text him again. I even went to his mom once and tried to push her into talking to him and he texted me saying that I was crazy and that I needed to get a life and so on… I was feeling desperate and I was not getting out, crying all the time and feeling that my world stopped because I no longer have him in my life. Till one day I decided that I need to stop needing him and stop trying to contact him. I started to take seriously the no contact rule and during that no contact I went out shopping, I called my friends more frequently, I tried to go for a walk everyday. I was trying my best to keep my mind busy all the time and not thinking about him and crying. I started to go out in night clubs etc.. I met a guy and he was really sweet and cute but my mind still kept thinking about my ex boyfriend. In the meantime I was feeling a little bit better knowing that by time I stopped needing to text him all the time. It was my 4th week of no contact rule (at the beginning of our break up I still contacted him for 2 months) when I was meant to go out for some drinks with my friends and with that guy that I had met about 2 weeks before. As I stepped in the night club I went near this guy we where just chatting and having a drink and one of my friends whispered in my ears “your ex is here’ I was confused of how to act and if I had to talk with him or not. I tried my best not to look at him and my friends told me that he was constantly looking at me chatting with that new guy. I did not want to hurt his feelings because I still wanted my ex back so I kept some distance between me and the new guy. My ex boyfriend came next to me and asked how I was doing and I kept it short and said “great how are you?” he said he was ok and I left. The next day I thought that it was about time to stop the no contact rule (4 weeks had passed since the last contact) so I sent him a message telling him yesterday was nice seeing you and as soon as I texted him he started texting a msg after another telling me nice things.. He did not give me time to reply back because he kept sending and sending. It was like he had been waiting for me to text him for a long time and that was it. He asked for a date, at first I refused trying to make him feel that I lost my love for him (which was not) so he insisted and we went out for a date. A date after another and we got together again and since then we are really happy together and it seems like we are better than before. Since then we never broke up anymore, I learnt that I need to give him space and that really I don’t need him, I want him which makes a huge difference. He seems more caring and he seems more in love with me now than before the break up. Now we are planning to buy our home together and hopefully will be living together by the end of March of next year. I wanted to share this with you because I think the no contact rule really works and sometimes also making him feel a little jealous keeping in mind not to hurt his feelings. Thanks Chris for your suggestions and thank you for these articles which helped me and my boyfriend get back together and learn from our own mistakes. I hope this will help somebody else too.

    Reply
    • Sarah - 0

      Sarah

      This was exactly what I needed. Me and my bf just broke up and he said some pretty harsh things and so did I buy I feel the no-contact rule will help. The reason why I always break it is because I fear he is going to go sleep with someone else but I need to realize I have no control over what he does and this is my best option. I must make him think (and also make myself think) that I do not need him

  41. ishmita - 0

    ishmita

    Hi ….i was dating my friend who was commited to someone else bt he claimed dat he loves me n leave her soon as our college ends n i believed him because he sweared on her mother ….i know im a fool that i believed him bt im a very emotional person n even loved him alot ……nw his girlfriend came to know abt us so he left me bt wanted me to be his friend i denied n asked for some time …..nw it seems that he is happy with her but i want him back …. its been a month ive not talked to him …ive been following your guide lines of no contact rules ….nw what should be d next step i should take ….please help me

    Reply
  42. pooja - 0

    pooja

    help me

    Reply
  43. christen - 0

    christen

    Hi Chris ..I want to ask ur opinion…me & my fiancee breakup 2months ago…he want us to be a friend, so I agree coz I think its a better way for me to get him back & close to him..I do telling him tat I want us to get back together,but he said its od break…I know deep inside he still want me in his life, but he want to take care his pride..I send him my latest picture, & he show interest to see it..I told him that my car is brokedown & he advising me what to do…he even still kept my house key…now he od moved back to his country bcoz his dad is sick & he have to take care of them….what should I do ?…can I make him jealous while we still remain as a friend now?

    Reply
  44. Conni - 0

    Conni

    I left a comment earlier, but I can’t seem to find it. Maybe it’s because I commented that making someone jealous is IMMATURE and very controlling. So you get a guy that’s jealous? Why would you want that? It’s childish, and not a healthy way to live. Jealousy is a killer; it’s an ugly beast that doesn’t raise its head for me. I’d like to see my comment posted please. Grown-up relationships don’t use jealousy. If guy gets TOO jealous, you may come away black and blue.

    Reply
  45. conni - 0

    conni

    Why in the WORLD do you want to make someone jealous????? That’s not a healthy relationship! That’s childish, and destructive. Jealousy is a horrible feeling. Why do you want to make someone feel bad? They’re your ex for a reason. Grow up.

    Reply
  46. Embee - 0

    Embee

    Other funny methods of making him super jelous. Text him on Facebook or viber a conversation, as if you are answering friend, say something like :- you know Mary I don’t believe in friendship between man and a woman, then state a point that one of your old male friend confessed how he wants you after he finds about brake up, you confused and deleted him from friends list. Then text your ex tell him that you are very sorry that you have sent a text on Facebook, Viber, what’s up, but it meant for other person, ask him to promiss not to read and delete it. That’s it leave it at that. He will be soo curious and he will read, jelousy kick off, if he text you like yes I will, do not text him back you don’t hAve to look you contacted him just to talk. It will show him that you have men chasing you, and you are in control of outcomes.

    Reply
  47. Aditi - 0

    Aditi

    I was in a relationship with a guy for two years.. unfortunately we broke up about an year ago.. but even after break up we were in contact with each other but then.. suddenly we both stopped talking to each other. I don’t know how I feel about him. I just wanna make him jealous. I wanna make him realize what he is missing. I know it’s childish but I wanna. Help me.!

    Reply
  48. Angie - 0

    Angie

    Hi, I was with a guy for about a year and half before he dumped me out of no where. He barely gave me an excuse, all he really said was he could not be with me anymore. I did do everything “wrong” at that time…begged him to come back and kept telling him it was a huge mistake. But I only acted this way for about a week, then just left it alone and moved on. No more than two months later he wanted me back and convinced me to get back together. Then we were together for another year after that, and it was really great for the most part. We started planning the future, vacations, marriage etc. Then we both got very stressed about many things that were going on, and we were just fighting ALL THE TIME. Anyways just a fews days ago he dumped me again. Said that he was too unstable, that we were toxic for each other and like a million other excuses. Being that this is the second time that he has done this to me, should I finally just move on, or hope he changes his mind again. LIke I said earlier, the relationship for the most part was great. At least in my opinion…I cant help but wonder if he’s just playing with my emotions.

    Reply
  49. kamini - 0

    kamini

    hi.. i met my ex bf through fb on dec 2014 after one month conversation we met on January 2015 after some time he ignored me and stopped message me. he said he cant give me time..i wanna him come back so i m applying NC rules from last 10 days is it possible he will come back

    Reply

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