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661 thoughts on “Will He Come Back If I Give Him Space”

  1. Avatar

    Rina

    December 9, 2017 at 6:58 am

    Hi amor,

    I have since started posting posts that stays. Any idea why he doesn’t wanna return my things or get his back? It’s been 1.5months

  2. Avatar

    Danielle

    December 9, 2017 at 5:15 am

    Hi! My boyfriend and I went on a break about a month ago. I cheated on him in the beginning of our relationship and he found out after a year of dating him. He told me he needed time and space to think about things and it’s been a month and I asked him if he wants to make things work with us and he said “I do I just don’t know how” what does this mean? I’ve been giving him a lot of space but sometimes I have to give in and text him once. What do I do?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 12, 2017 at 1:44 am

      Hi Daniella,

      that means he doesn’t know how to trust you again.. check this one:
      This Is How To Make Him Trust You Again

  3. Avatar

    MONI

    December 8, 2017 at 12:22 am

    TOGETHER 1 YEAR MET THE KID ,GOT A KEY,HAVE MY CLOTHES AND DOG AT THIS PLACE. WE HAD A GOOD RELATIONSHIP HE RECENTLY GOT A 2ND JOB AN LIVES FAR FROM ME . I WORK GO TO SCHOOL. HE SAID HE NEEDED SPACE TO BE ALONE , I SAW LESS TIME FOR ME AND TOLD HIM HOW I FELT ABOUT BEING LONELY AND NOT SEEING HIM 🙁 I BEEN BLOWING HIM UP SINCE IM SAD/SCARED.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 11, 2017 at 9:33 am

  4. Avatar

    Tana

    December 7, 2017 at 12:04 am

    Hi so me and my ex broke up five months ago and about a month and a half ago he reached out to me and we started talking again. Everything kinda went back to normal and he was even telling everyone that we were trying to work things out and take things slow. We were literally hanging out at least 3 to 4 times a week! Everything seemed to be going good and then out of nowhere he stopped talking to me. He then sent me a text saying that he was sorry for not talking to me and that he had a couple days to think and he said that he really needed to get his life together. He told me to do my own thing and he hoped that we could still be friends. I knew he was stressed out about money, school, and family so I told him that it was okay and that he could do whatever he needed to do. what should I do???

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 11, 2017 at 6:06 am

      Hi Tana,

      Do nc,stick to at least 30 days

  5. Avatar

    Veronica

    December 6, 2017 at 11:06 pm

    My ex broke up with me end of July 2017. We would have been a year this December. He said I was not supportive of him and that he needes to focus on his kids . That I made him insecure etc. he kept in contact texts and some phone calls but me mostly making the effort. We fibally met up again and I thought we were taking steps to rebuild but i noticed it was me making the most reaching out calling etc. so I asked him if he felt Like i was overwhelming he said no that he doesn’t have to answer me but he does. Then this past weekend out of no where he pulls the same thing saying he needs to cut me off bc he does not see me in his life and he does not know what he wants. Of course I was hysterical he said he cares about me and we’ll take it slow. Since then he text me once first and I have been again the one msg him. I have not today and am thinking of dong NC but am wondering if it’s too late ? Or if I should tell him I respect his wishes and will give him space. He had gone on a rant that came out of left field. One minute making plans for a movie 2 hrs later telling me to respect his wishes to not call ir text him . Wth ?!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 11, 2017 at 5:12 am

      Hi Veronica,

      Tell him you respect his wishes, but dont tell him you’re doing nc.. Do at least 30 days

  6. Avatar

    Stacey

    December 6, 2017 at 8:37 am

    My boyfriend broke up with me over a month ago saying he didn’t love me anymore and he needed time to focus on himself. We still live together and he’s been very hot and cold with me. He will
    Sleep in the bed when he’s had a drink because he’s happier and when he’s sober he’s angry. He has some small
    Alcohol and gambling issues and most recently I’ve heard him crying in the toilet. He’s also told his mom he’s had suicidal thoughts. I’m wondering if the depression was a cause of the break up? He seems so much happier when he’s had a drink.
    He still finds me attractive etc but keeps repeating that we are not together as if to justify to himself. He’s deleted me from Facebook and the reason I know is because he told me! Why tell me? What Can I do

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 11, 2017 at 4:19 am

      Hi Stacey,

      But you still live together? Why is he acting like that? Did he had a recent problem? Maybe with work?

  7. Avatar

    Stacey

    December 6, 2017 at 8:19 am

    Hi team, my ex broke up with me just over a month ago saying he didn’t love me anymore and wanted to be alone to sort himself out. He has a few gambling and drinking issues. He’s been hot and cold with me, sleeping in the bed a few times especially when he’s had a drink. We still live together you see. I’ve heard him crying in the bathroom and he’s told his mum he’s had suicidal thoughts. Could it be he’s depressed and that’s why he’s broke up? He’s had ample opportunity to leave the apartment and stay as well and he chooses not to. He seems to be happy when he’s had a drink and then when he’s sober he’s angry all the time. He’s Just Unfriended me on Facebook Too. Please help, I’m so confused as to what’s going on with him

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 11, 2017 at 4:19 am

      Hi Stacey,

      But you still live together? Why is he acting like that? Did he had a recent problem? Maybe with work?

  8. Avatar

    Sierra

    December 6, 2017 at 3:48 am

    Hey Amor,
    Thanks for responding so in the article it says a week he didn’t necessarily ask for space but I’m giving him and I some space because it didnt seem like he was interested in talking about us being in a relationship he talked to me about what he doesn’t like when I do so and so part of me feels like I should just breakup with him cuz he’s already out the door I haven’t reached out for two days now in the beginning he said he wanted a relationship and when we spoke he said he wants a relationship as well maybe I’m overthinking it but I can’t shake that body language and vibes he was giving off

  9. Avatar

    Jane

    December 5, 2017 at 11:28 pm

    Hi!
    My exboyfriend broke up with me because he was already too stressed about his life, he can’t find a job he’s in debt and he can’t find a place to settle in. We were living together for a year. I had to leave USA because my visa was expired. After the 3rd day he broke up with me and told me i was just another stress in his life. He cheated on me with another girl 6mos before and i just found out that the girl is coming to the same place he is in now.

    What do i do?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 8, 2017 at 5:55 pm

      Hi Jane,

      Looks like the real reason for the break up is the girl.. check this one:
      EBR 039: Dealing With An Ex Boyfriend Who Cheats

  10. Avatar

    Ty

    December 5, 2017 at 5:45 pm

    Hello,
    BF of 7 years broke up with me last year. We gradually stay hanging out/ dating but (no title) a few months later- “exclusively” at least I was told. Find out he’s sleeping with someone else. I cut him off, he begs til I contact him 3 weeks after. Says he needs to be alone. Still continues contacting me and telling me how much he loves me and wants a relationship in the future that was better and new everyday/ every few days. Because of the lies and betrayal it’s hard to trust anything he says and I need time to get over that situation. But he says HE needs space to be better for me in the future and work some things out within himself. I haven’t talked to him in 9 days…the last convo he didn’t say anything about not talking. He always said he needed time alone but he would continue to contact me. So not hearing from him I’m not sure what’s going on…

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2017 at 9:07 pm

      Hi Ty,
      Start the count of your nc period after reading this and then be active in improving yourself and in posting.. to be clear, in the past year, you have been friends with benefits?

  11. Avatar

    Rina

    December 5, 2017 at 4:42 pm

    Hi amor,

    Thank you for your reply.

    I’ve been actively posting on Instagram stories but he isn’t viewing at all. He has also blocked me on every platform. I’ve been improving myself and meeting new friends. What Can I do to get him back? He hasn’t update me when he wants his things back either or when will he return mine.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2017 at 8:57 pm

      don’t do instagram stories.. do posts that doesn’t disappear unless you remove them.. and make your account public..

  12. Avatar

    Luna

    December 5, 2017 at 6:17 am

    Hi Sarah

    It’s amazing when you say ‘ I remember thinking that I must show him that space would only pull us apart and lessen our love; that I should show him that I was willing to fight for him and that this would prove to him that we were meant to be together’…

    Because I thought the same and sometimes I still do – I can’t seem to understand why it is in the relationship of love when man asks for space they don’t want you to show them how devoted and loyal you are to them by talking it out etc etc – maybe it’s because as females we never have the need for space (tho I may be wrong because I haven’t dumped someone yet hence requiring ‘the need for space’ maybe men and woman who leave their partners maybe they all want space maybe it isn’t just men only? – maybe it’s because I know if I told someone I love I want space or that I want to leave, I’d be expecting them to want to show me the willingness to fight.

    I guess sometimes we need to realize way we want to be loved doesn’t mean the other person you love sees love in the same manner – maybe a man really sees love by the partner respecting his feelings and needs and doing the above just pushes them further away … i know wot I did pushed him further away.

    My situation is quite complicated – I know he says he’s done as there isn’t feelings left in him for me… so he has left – so now I continue with giving him space and hope to improve myself and see if he ever trusts me enough to want to start building a connection again with me 🙁 but for now I know our Ltd no contact will have to be long enough for his heart to heal and for mine to heal too because I am heartbroken for him having walked out on us without wanting to try to change the relationship dynamics for a new and improved relationship. He waited too long when too much damage was done to speak up and just poker faced his way through and now as he claims he no longer loves me or misses me hence he has no need or want to invest in the relationship:(

  13. Avatar

    JennyAshley Perez

    December 5, 2017 at 2:41 am

    Okay! I read this whole article and thought to myself wow this is dead on what I’m going through. I have been in a same sex relationship for 10 years. We most recently got married in August. Shortly after marriage I noticed my wife acting diff like distant. I ended up finding out two weeks before marriage she kissed a coworker. Originally when I found out she said it was only an emotional affair and meant absolutely nothing! But later I found out it was physical. Mind you I found thisall out less than a month into marriage. So, after finding this out you can imagine I was pissed and constantly arguing nonstop! Then she began telling me that she feels like she never got “me” time to hang out with friends since we got together at such a young age. So I thought maybe she just wanted to get the party phase out her system. But then she started saying she was confused and was in a confused state and doesn’t know how to fix it. So she asked for space and moved into her parents house I was the gang trying to do everything to keep her but I felt it pushed her more and more. So then she began saying she thinks she wants an open relationship ( which is the CRAIZEST THING EVER) my wife has never been a sexual person not even in the beginning so her asking this was insane!!!!! Unreal at that! Then she would say stuff like I honestly don’t even know if I want an open relationship I’m soooooo confused. She said the only way I would know if I want it is if i tried it so I told her ok go head and gave her a green light and everything and she still has not taken it. I asked why she won’t and she said because she isn’t sure she wants that so CLEARLY SHE IS VERY CONFUSED. So today I finally decided I’d do the no contact rule which is what everyone told me I should have done from the beginning so she can see how much she misses me and it may even help with the confusion. The thing is my wife hasn’t never been a cheater she’s comletey opposite of that and I think what’s making her sonconfused is that she’s trying to figure out why she allowed herself to do that when in reality it was just a mistake because the coworker got her at a vulnerable time. Just before marriage when emotions were running high. But I feel this is where the confusion comes in to play she’s trying to find a reason and think she maybe she wants an open relationship and that’s why she allowed that to happen but I know her so well and I know she would not want that. Anyways I guess we will see how the no contact rule works for me.

  14. Avatar

    Alex

    December 4, 2017 at 3:58 pm

    And what could this mean?I ruined everything asking him If it is what he wants for sure?He had problems with it so I wanted to protect myself but maybe the words were not right.It all went too fast but he was the one to commit after I just told him about a fact that we act like a couple.I Am implementing during this “mini no contact” all the theories even more like being UG ,or going out with friends ,going to the gym etc.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2017 at 7:25 pm

      Hi Alex,

      Don’t ask. You will look like you’re chasing him.. Just be casual and indifferent.. That’s good that you’re busy, but if you really want to convey that you have your own life, you wouldn’t worry if he needs more time, because you barely have time for him..

  15. Avatar

    Alex

    December 4, 2017 at 1:28 pm

    Hi Amor,
    So i told you about my current situation in last post i think(with an ex that i reunited with And then he was still not sure about His feelings and said he wants to go slow and spend some time together first to do it maturely and not to hurt anyone in the process)so he never told me that he needs space but I can feel it (he is not very talkative now so I just left him like this,only thing he does is liking my ig photos and seeing my stories).I want to text him this Sunday (it will be more than week with no contact) but I don’t know how?Something positive and normal?Or ask him if he needs more time or ask about what he told
    me before we stopped talking?Thanks

  16. Avatar

    Emily

    December 4, 2017 at 11:35 am

    My “space” story is lengthy, but in short my EX asked for space about 8months ago. After spending 7 weeks apart we got back together. Now, a week ago, he breaks up with me again … saying very similar things like “he needs to overhaul his life,” “I love you but it’s too straining,” “haven’t you ever tried so much and cared so much that you just move on?” Etc. So…. of course my first instinct (in the first 24 hrs) was to fight for him back. Then for a full week I did NC. But over the weekend I was back home (I live in a different city now) and texted to try to get together it started a disagreement how “he’s doing what’s best for us” . Serious deja vu here. Not ready to give him up yet.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2017 at 7:18 pm

      Hi Emily,

      Try at least 45 days of nc, start a new routine, have your own life and then take it slow in building rapport after that and maintain your new routine, even if you got back with him.

  17. Avatar

    Courtney

    December 4, 2017 at 3:23 am

    My ex boyfriend broke up with me about two months ago, since then we’ve still continued to talk. After he broke up with me I gave him space and he text me a week later after NC, we’ve talked ever since, have hung out a few times and even hooked up a few times, anytime we talk or hangout it’s like we never even broke up, he even still tells me he has love for me and cares about me, but he says he broke up with me because he feels like we rushed into the relationship in the first place which I agreed we did, we only were talking for about a month and then started dating and we were together for about 6 months, we also argued a lot and it added a lot of stress onto him and our relationship. But ever since he broke up with me things have been good for the most part between us, he says he isn’t talking to any other girls whether that is true I’m not sure, the few times we have gotten into arguments after our break up, I would tell him that I will give him space and that I loved him, only for him to text me a few hours later or the following day. I’m just confused where to go from here. He said he is just focusing on himself and doesn’t want added stress onto him because of work and he is moving into a new house soon but I just don’t know if I should continue to wait on him. Since we’ve broken up I do my own thing completely, going to the gym, hanging out with friends and let hours pass between texts sometimes between him and I to make him think I’m doing different things. What should I do now? Give up? Continue to wait? Help me please!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2017 at 2:06 am

      Hi Courtney,

      If you’re sleeping with him but you’re not officially back together, that means you’re not friends with benefits.. check this one:
      EBR 030: What To Do If You Sleep With Your Ex Boyfriend

  18. Avatar

    Sierra

    December 3, 2017 at 11:19 pm

    Hello,
    So I’ve been dating this new guy for about 4 months now and he’s been really good to me he takes me out on dates and is a gentleman to me today I asked him about where does he see our relationship going and asked him if he’s comfortable making things official from his body language he seemed uncomfortable and was a little reluctant to say that I’m his girlfriend. I told him that I like taking it slow and that it doesn’t have to get really serious so soon he says he likes the way things are I feel like he isn’t really taking the relationship seriously or maybe it’s too fast for him right now. I want to give him and myself some space because it was an awkward conversation and idk if I’m wasting my time or not. Do you think I should give him space and not see him in a while in order for him to make that decision while I try to figure things out for myself? Also he is going through some family issues right now and I found out he is having money issues as well although he’s too proud to tell me I kind of assumed based off of how he’s been acting lately

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2017 at 1:59 am

      Hi Sierra,

      Yup, I agree with giving both of yourselves time apart..

  19. Avatar

    Heartbrokengirl

    December 3, 2017 at 7:35 pm

    My ex broke up with me on 11/22. He blindsided me completely. We were in long distance relationship but we were happy, never fought. The day before he broke up with me, we had an long but very confusing conversation about our future. He was panicking and asked me so many questions that I don’t have an answer for, questions about what our future looks like even 5- 10 years down the road. He was so stressed out and I have never seen it before. He suddenly didn’t want to do any of the plans we talked about for our future. He is 24 European and I’m 30 American. We met while we were traveling and we traveled for 4 months and LDR for 7 mos. We talked about moving to each other’s country and then travel more after. He is the best person I’ve ever dated. It broke my heart that he didn’t want to be with me all in a sudden and I’m crying all the time. I’m still in shock actually. My friends told me he is too young. The fact that he has been traveling for 2 years and he is heading home soon, but he doesn’t have a career plan whatsoever. He hasn’t contact me at all after the break up. He still follows me on Instagram, and he views my stories but never liked me photos. We are still friends on fb. I never stalk him on any social media, I unfollowed him on Instagram. After the break up, I sent him a message basically saying that “if you want figure what you want and who you are, I respect it. I hope I will be still be here when you are ready. Till then, I know I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me 100%.” He wrote back saying, “your words meant a lot to me. I booked a ticket back home and hope to figure out what my plan is. Best of luck to you”

    I’m still heartbroken that he hasn’t shown that he misses me I started NC after I sent him that message on 11/26. I’m traveling again so I’m trying to post very positive pictures on insta of me having fun.

    I really miss him. We had such a good time together. I cherish every moment of it

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2017 at 1:53 am

  20. Avatar

    Rose

    December 3, 2017 at 7:04 pm

    My ex broke up with me a month ago, I went into NC and contacted him last night. Things turned sexual but then he told me he liked another girl (he thought I was with another guy but we’re just friends) he went to her house but said nothing happened. He’s worked with her from September. He said he didn’t like her when we were together and when we broke up he said there was no one else. He said he really likes her and that he feels nothing for me at all and doesn’t love me. He said I could get anyone I wanted and told me to go after this guy who is my friend. I told him I was going to let him go so he can be happy and I think he’s blocked me. Do you think he really likes her or maybe he was trying to make me jealous? Should I move on? Is there any chance he’ll come back? We were together for 2 and a half years we were each other’s first everything, he’s good at hiding his feelings and we’ve broken up before because he said I was better off without him. I really don’t know what else I can do. He knows I still love him but he said he’s happy how he is.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2017 at 1:09 am

      Hi,

      the more you do nc, the less it works.. so, make this your last nc, do 45 days and then take it slow in building rapport after nc and check this one:
      My Boyfriend Says He Wants To Date Me and Another Girl

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