Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

691 thoughts on “Will He Come Back If I Give Him Space”

  1. Via

    December 20, 2017 at 2:16 pm

    I have been dating this guy since september. We stay in contact on a daily basis. From goodmornings to goodnights and speaking to eachother throughout the day. We have a alot of mutual interests, get along very well and have never fought with eachother. We made plans to go on a date, so the day before he messaged me saying good morning, i had asked if we were still on schedule for the date and got no response. the next day which was the date, i also didnt hear from him, so i got worried, asked him if everything was ok as its not like him to disappear as hes always keeps me in the loop and never disappears so its not like him, and would just like to know that everything is ok and that hes ok. He responds to me the next morning saying that hes having family issues, and would like some space and was sorry to keep me on the edge. I responded very calmy and said sure no problem, hope everything is ok and if he needed anything i was there for him. Havent contacted him since, no calls no messages (no contact at all) and giving him the space he needs. my birthday is coming up in a few days and im curious to see if he acknowledges it, but more importantly, not sure where all this came from and what to do next. help

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 20, 2017 at 10:09 pm

      Hi Via,

      Do you want to try the no contact rule?

  2. Stag

    December 19, 2017 at 10:59 pm

    We were together for 1.5 years, and it was a long distance relationship. We’ve been commuting at every chance we have between 16000km.

    Before I flew to his end of the world 2 months ago, he told me he cant do this anymore. Somehow since he left my part of the world in Sept, things has been rough, we had petty fights, he got distant, i got insecure, and it went down. Then a month later he said he gave up. And I begged him for one last chance, and after much thought he said okay, so I flew to him at the end of October

    We spent 7 weeks together. It wasnt all bad, there was a lot of good too. But he have so much anger, which from time to time he will apoligize and say he shouldnt have, that hes dealing with a lot. We celebrated my birthday, we do things we enjoy and creates new memories. But he have such a bad reaction if I try to talk abt it, and he kept bringing up things that hurts him. And because he said im not accountable for my actions so i try to be better. I try to make best of these days we had. I tried to not do things or reacted in ways I might regret. By the end of this time, he said he still cant see it through and when I leave on the plane it is the end of our relationship. We cried so much for the last few days, and as for me I tried to see it as my last moments with him. We also talked abt how we will do this. If he dont want to talk to me again and etc. he said he wants to but he needs a few weeks before he can. He said he dont want this to be last we see of each other and he would like if we can meet in about a year give or take. We agreed on grace period on when im travelling (takes two days to cross 16000km) and then he needs the few weeks. But with exceptions of special days like christmas and etc. He said he loves me so much despite the relationship is ending. And i could see it, but I just dont understand how he can choose to put us through this pain if we still love one another

    Ive left and now at the other end of the world, and on the second day post grace period. Its been extremely hard as its fresh and it feels like I’ll never see him again. I feel like i have to really try because he asked me for time. And in a way i want him to hv that time to really think. And i guess he said he feel like things cant ever get better, and if i want another chance at this i need to change for the better too and this is a way i can do it, by respecting he needs space. And i know even if it dont go that way it will somewhat good for me too

    But given said that, its hard to fathom it most of the time, as although we were in ldr, we made homes in each other’s places. And everything reminds me of him.

    What if he never will come back after this space I give him?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 20, 2017 at 9:32 pm

      Hi Stag,

      check this one:
      Will My Ex Forget Me If I Do No Contact

  3. S

    December 18, 2017 at 11:02 pm

    How did he go about asking you for space or time to think?
    Did you breakup or have you not quite gotten there yet?
    What have you done since he asked for space?

    My ex and I had just broke up. We had been in a ldr for almost 1.5 years commuting between 16000km. Towards the last few months suddenly he started being angry all the time and that time we just parted and back in distance and after a while it started affecting me. Till one day he said its too much and want to end it. I asked if I can go over to see if theres anything I can do, and I went to his side of the world, for 2 months. And althtough we have good times he still seems to not be able to let go pf the things he held onto. Mainly seems to be abt a guy i previously dated before him and how we are so bad with the distance. He said hes so angry because hes so sad. Toward the end of two months his anger was better but he still say he cannot find a way to see how we will work. We said goodbye and agreed as i left it was the end of our relationship. We cried for days before i left and he said eventhough its ending he still loves me and he will miss me. Having so much bad breakups before this i guess it was the most humane thing i felt, to see his vulnerability. We agree on some things, like grace periods while i was travelling, and then he said he needed some space for a few weeks, with exception for special days like christmas where he would like if we can exchange wishes. And he also said he didnt want that day to be the last we see of each other. So he said we should meet in about a year give or take.

    Our grace period just ended, and i guess im terrified of him not talking to me anymore after his needed space. And im not sure abt this meeting up after a year. What do you reckon of my situation?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 20, 2017 at 7:57 pm

      Hi S,

      Frankly, it’s more likely that he just said that at that time hoping you would move on at this point.

  4. Abby

    December 17, 2017 at 11:49 pm

    My boyfriend of a year and a half just left me last week. We were living together, and he sent his friends to pick up his stuff after he ended things. He told me he loved me, but he couldn’t do it anymore, it’s me not you shpeel. The way he left really sucked and we had gotten into a big fight the night before, and been fighting regularly for the last month over a temporary financial issue that was resolved a week before we broke up. He had asked me for space during that time, but I had trouble giving it to him as we lived together in a studio apartment. I asked him after we broke up if we could take a break and get the space we needed and he said he didn’t want to give me false hope. Since then I haven’t texted him, I have been doing my own thing going out with the girls, yoga every morning, dance classes. I have been doing everything in my power to give him the space, and hoping he’ll miss me and want to make up. But at the bar the other day his buddy said that he felt the last year and half was a waste of time. I’m afraid he’s completely made up his mind, and I have no chance. Before this financial issue we were happy together and I just got a new job that will make things even easier. We made it through 6 months of long distance only to let a temporary problem break the camels back. I want him back but idk if I’m too late. We’ve never broken up before, but everything he’s done seems as if he’s certain of his decision.

  5. Sabby

    December 17, 2017 at 12:11 am

    Hello me again, well I am now 4 days into NC. He has text me once about work which i never responded to. We had our staff night out tonight and I was forced to sit next to him. It was really awkward for me and the one other person sitting with us as he is the only one who knows. We then moved onto a club and I walked ahead. When we got to the club he stood near me at the bar and asked a few questions on our booking then in our area I made sure there was someone in between us. He moved and stopped someone sitting in between us and kept moving a little closer to me. I didn’t say anything, I barely moved. He kept complaining his back hurt etc but I never asked him anything. Then he went to leave and I left too. He then fell behind and I walked home alone. He wore a shirt i gave him and hes never returned any of my things that are in his flat. I no longer believe he wants anything to do with me.

  6. ABR

    December 16, 2017 at 4:08 am

    My ex and I were together for 6 months and he broke up with me almost 2 months ago. We briefly spoke after the breakup and I’ve since been in a No Contact that I’ve actually done pretty well with in terms of not getting in touch with him. I’m a surgeon in training and he broke things off after I returned from presenting at a national conference because we had a pretty big argument before I left, and while I gave him some space the few days I was at the conference. After I asked “to talk” a lot, and we fought about which of us should have been the first to break the silence and who’s “fault” the fight was in the first place. The fight before I left was about him not spending the weekend with me before I went away for the conference since I knew I wouldn’t be free the next weekend to spend time with him. He was very good about doing things on his end so we could see each other at least once a week when we first started dating, but the last few weeks of our relationship he didn’t put as much effort in, and I got very clingy about it and would ask him constantly if we could spend days together, and getting angry if he made other plans. He said he found himself being angry around me a lot and thought I had a lot to figure out, and that he didn’t think we wanted the same things, though he wouldn’t tell me how what we wanted was different. He was the one to say all the things suggesting he didn’t want to be with me, though I was the one to say “so we need to break up.”

    Since the breakup I’ve been very busy studying for work-related exams, spending some time with local friends and hitting the gym when I can with a busy schedule. I’ve been occasionally posting on social media when I’m doing fun things on my own, though those things aren’t super frequent. I’ve also been working on some of my personal issues that contributed a lot to our relationship ending, like my insecurities about feeling worthy of love and feeling “out of control” (mostly learning to be okay with not having control over everything), and accepting the fact that even if I’m dating someone, they may not want to spend all the time *I* have free with me. I am about 5 weeks into NC, and I was planning to do at least 6 to stay focused on my current set of exams before I try contacting him. I’m wondering if 6 weeks has been enough time/space for his anger to subside, and I’m working out what to say to break NC.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 19, 2017 at 6:58 pm

  7. Patricia

    December 15, 2017 at 7:53 pm

    Me and my ex boyfriend have been talking since March this year, some of the conversations not so good as he liked to make me upset. However, within the past 4 months things between me and him have changed. I started doing the push and pull theory as well as other advice from this website and found it was working to my advantage. I showed him I wasn’t all that bothered and even moved on with my life and met someone new after he said things wouldn’t work between us (he has a new girlfriend too which he was seeing before we started talking again). Once I met someone new, this was when he came to me and told me he started feeling the types of feelings he had for me when we dated. These feelings he said were lingering for a couple of months beforehand but he didn’t know how to tell me and therefore I feel him seeing me with someone else made him panic. I managed to get him to admit he loved me and he even started crying when we had a heart to heart about it, as well as admitted his heart was telling him to leave his current girlfriend for me. However, 3 weeks ago I sent him a message asking how he was due to someone in my family dying and wanted someone to talk too. His current girlfriend found the messages and things got a little awkward between him and her to the point, he rang me asking us to not speak for a few weeks just until things calm down. He asked me not to contact first and that he would contact me first. I haven’t contacted him at all since he called me, but obviously the bad thoughts are pondering in my head. I was wondering if I could get some further advice on this? Thank you!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 18, 2017 at 5:55 pm

      Hi Patricia,
      If you talked since March, have you met and slept with him?

  8. Marie

    December 15, 2017 at 1:53 pm

    I’ve been dating a guy for 2 months. Two weeks ago he told me that a girl he had a one night stand with before he met me contacted him through social media and told him she was pregnant. The day we were suppose to see each other was the day he met up with her to find out what’s going on. I hadn’t seen him in two weeks cause our conflicting schedules. The next day he was back at work for a whole week. We texted a little here and there and some days it seemed like he was better than others. He told me he didn’t know what she was going to do. He said if she keeps the baby he try and date her because he never wanted to have kids this way. I reminded him he said he never do something like that. I asked him if he told her that he was seeing someone and he said yes. Him telling me that if she keeps it made me really sad. He said he didn’t know what would happen to us, I felt him and I had a very good connection all around. He was very kind, generous, sweet and outgoing with me. Until that news from the girl things were great!
    I reached out to a friend of his and asked him an innocent question about him. The day I tried to give him space and not talk to him, he texted me upset that I messaged his friend. He told me I need to back off cause he’s going through stuff. I told him I was sorry and messed up. He told me to please give him the space that he needs right now. He said I wasn’t making things easier and it was a turn off. He said I’m asking in the most respectful way for u to give me space. I told him that I was trying and that’s why I didn’t contact him at all that day. He then replied that “whatever choice or decision he makes depending on what happens that I need to respect it. He said he made a mistake and has to live with it, so be it.” I told him I understand and will leave him alone. I thanked him for treating me so special and apologized for any wrong doing during this time. Two days went by and I didn’t contact him. I messed up day 3, I said “hey, hope your doing well” but I left it at that and didn’t try anymore. He didn’t respond. It is now day 5 without talking to him. He looks at my Instagram stories all the time and sometimes immediately. He calls the news “drama and a mistake”, I don’t understand how he thinks he can make it work with her when he doesn’t know her and him and I took our Time getting to know each other and it seemed like we instantly clicked too, but still took our time. I know he is super stressed and upset at himself.. but will no contact make him reach out to me? He asked for space, he didn’t tell me we were over and at that time he still didn’t know if she is going to keep the baby or not. Advice appreciated.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 15, 2017 at 6:15 pm

      Hi Marie,

      it’s not a guarantee that nc will work in any situation but it helps increase your chances.. For me, you hardly know the guy, you should move on from him.

  9. Sara

    December 15, 2017 at 12:17 pm

    Hi Amor

    I responded to your advice, just wondering if you’ve got it? I’m on day 5 of the NC, I’m just wondering whether it will be effective as it is the third time he’s split up with me. He said in an ideal world he wants me to be someone to meet up and chat to every so often, we need a break and that he is not massively in love with me anymore and he’s opened his mind to meeting someone else in the future. He has text me on day 3 of the NC with a ‘hey xx’. I’m hurt that he has showed no level of care or even to see how I am. Shall I continue with the NC? Move on accept it’s over? I just feel that things with him are different this time. Doesn’t seem to be bothered with the fact we’re not talking like we used to

    Please help Amor

    Sara

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 15, 2017 at 4:19 pm

      Hi Sara,

      That means if you’re going to do nc again, make it the last attempt and do 45 days.

  10. sara

    December 14, 2017 at 11:40 am

    Hi Amor
    Thank you for your reply. I am an avid reader of the EBR website and also have purchased some of the guides. Seeing as its been on and off for three and a half years now, he has said that so much has happened and that it would be too hard to keep it going. I have done the NC rule both times previously for between 14-18 days where he has reached out in the past. I am on day 4 of the NC rule now and he text me two nights ago saying ‘Hey xx’. Our arguement was really heated at the weekend, he has said he wants me to be some one to chat to and meet up every so often, that a break if we were to ever would work would be needed, his friend has gave him that advice. He admitted to getting drunk and kissing another girl at the weekend. Seeing as its an LDR it just seems really different this time. He has said he wants us to be fun that nothing will come of it, but then turns around and said he isnt sure whether he wants us or not, that he doesnt see me in the future like he used to. He said that he is not ruling out the idea of meeting someone new like he used to and it would at that time rule the possibility of a reunion. He said ideally to meet up and hang out and emphasizes its not just for sex, he reckons weve a really good bond in that way. He has said he is so tired and stressed out and that i want so much more than he does. Am i wasting my time hoping he will come back? Shall i just cut my losses and move on? I really love him but all my fighting for the relationship just doesnt seem like enough. Is there anything i can do to try and salvage something?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 15, 2017 at 4:18 pm

      Hi Sarah,

      That means if you’re going to do nc again, make it the last attempt and do 45 days.

  11. April

    December 13, 2017 at 12:58 pm

    Hi,

    So my fiance of 7 years ended things with me last Wednesday just 3 days before my birthday and Christmas.. :/ It’s fair enough to say I was distraught.. I am still as I type this, but I feel like I can cope and maybe because I’m holding onto a little bit of hope that we can still get back together again.. He ended things with me cause he felt as though I lied to him about the boys I was with in my past, I’ll admit I wasn’t an angel before I met him, but because I didn’t tell him every little detail he felt as though I misled him and he felt like I’ve embarrassed him and lied. He said he wants to be single to sort his head out and to figure out if I am the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with, he’s asked for space and time whilst he deals with this and for me to respect that. At first I did bombard him with the texts begging him to take me back and that I can’t live without him, however after reading these articles I’ve realised I was pushing him away whilst doing that, so I haven’t been going out of my to contact him, however it’s easier said than done as we both work together and he has been messaging me asking for help with emails, timesheets, etc. Now I’m not trying to let this affect our work, as I want to show him that I am respecting his space whilst not trying to contact him but I’m still helping him when he needs it.. Am I doing the right thing? Everyone has said the same thing to just give him space and see what happens, but I feel as though what if it’s too late? He can’t get over my past does that mean there’s no hope for us? He even said that if I can change my ways and not be so moany with him or whiny that he doesn’t see why we can’t get back together.. But then he says things like he doesn’t know what he wants..?! Is that cause his head is everywhere and this is why he has asked for space to see if he can work it all out? I just miss him so much! And although he has fair enough reasoning, I do think he is being slightly unfair, I don’t ask him about every detail of his past who he was with etc, so why does he feel the need to constantly bring up my past?! It’s unfair! This makes me think though if he can’t get over my past then there’s no hope for us.. 🙁 I think I just need reassurance or for a crystal ball to see what will happen..

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 15, 2017 at 11:29 am

      Hi April,

      Just continue improving yourself during nc.. If guys was the problem, then don’t date for now.. Don’t do what you did before.. So that he don’t think you’ll do them again..

  12. Sabby

    December 12, 2017 at 8:22 pm

    Hi,
    My boyfriend and I were together for over a year and then split as he felt we weren’t getting along. 5 months later we got back together. It’s been 6 months and tonight he has decided to end it again because he said he wasn’t that happy and needed to be happy on his own. I said ‘are you just wanting some space?’ But he said that we had to call and end to us. I’m at a total loss. I know he did not treat me as well as he should have and he admitted to that too. I walked away the moment he began to get upset telling him that it was time I left. What do I do now?? I want to be with him but I don’t want the mess that we have just finished. I cannot avoid him as I am his manager and will see him every day at work. We also have pur work Christmas party on Saturday and I’m worried about seeing him there.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 14, 2017 at 2:17 pm

  13. sara

    December 11, 2017 at 11:12 am

    My on and off ex boyfiriend of 3 years has split up wih me again. For weeks i could feel a disconnect from him, not texting me loads and not calling. seeing as it was an LDR, i began to worry. After a bit of Gnatting on my part he finally came out and said that he doesnt see a future with me any more and inevitably will meet someone new, he would like to still meet up with me and sleep with me but he said that nothing else will happen. He said he isnt massively in love and that i became too full on. He said that we need a break from each other if we were to ever work out but i dont know what he means, if i am just an option if he doesnt find the relationship he wants. He saids he would like a reunion in the future but just isnt sure. its the third time in a year and a half he has broken up with me. what do i do? walk away? I love him so much. Please help me

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 13, 2017 at 1:09 am

  14. Rina

    December 11, 2017 at 5:11 am

    Hi amor,

    Thanks for responding. I’ve been actively posting post that’s stays now. However, he hasn’t contacted me as to when he will be passing my stuff back or when he wants his. Any idea why and will I be able to get him back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 12, 2017 at 1:49 am

      maybe because they’re not really important things.. it depends on a lot of factors on how much probability you have to get him back.. have you taken our quiz?

  15. Shortie Spice

    December 10, 2017 at 4:42 pm

    Hi Team,
    We started to be friends a little more than a year ago. I just went through an ugly break-up in the middle of last July and afterwards we started to talk. He pursued me quite a lot. I was very much hesitant, because a friend of mine had a one night fling with him, but she then fell for him also. So the months went on and we met every now and then…shared long walks after work and had long hours of genuinely great conversations. One day we talked and decided to watch a movie together at my place, where the whole thing started. In the end he stayed over, but in the morning I cried with resentment because I slept with a guy my friend used to like (she then had a relationship going on with a guy for a year), but still I felt insanely crap. We agreed not to meet, but then a company Christmas party came..he begged to sleep together, I refused, but a couple of weeks later, we ended up together again, when I discovered I still was not ready for a relationship.. We talked a lot and he understood. Somehow, though, in the middle of January, he reached out to me to spend the evening together, casually. That`s when everything changed. I respected that he kept my boundaries, but at the same time I saw how he just wanted to be happy with me – and we started dating for real. I asked not to be blunt about it at work, because my used-to-be-friend made it very hard. Screamed at me and then started spreading disgusting gossip never leaving us to rest. I still was hesitant and wanted to take things very slow because of my past breakup and feeling generally afraid. I fell ill over the spring – I was in bed for 3 weeks after which we had a rough fight that ended in a panicky break-up. We both regretted it, but he had an ideology not to go back, no second chances. But we did it still and it was awesome for months, we met each others` parents and it was true bliss. Then in September a rough patch came to his life.. he started to feel out of place, he did not like his job and felt genuinely out of touch with his life. See… he is coming from a wealthy family, he has his own apartment that he got from his parents, they have a weekend house at the lake, they like to go kayaking and they have their own boat they enjoy. That`s where he spends all his summer weekends. There was a problem, though. I have a severe fear of water, I fell in deep water when I was a child and could not swim. So I asked if it was possible for the two of us to go and swim together so I can get accustomed to it in our home town, without anyone else. I was very much afraid of `not performing` well in front of his parents. After our first weekend there with his parents, his mom told me how beautiful and wealthy his last girlfriend was. I was so afraid to meet them again, especially going on a boat with a fear for my life…But when I started to overcome this, my grandmother was feeling worse and worse, we were in the midst of selling their house and moving the objects out of it. It took us four weekends with my parents. He started to feel unwell because I never joined him over the weekend to the lake, and I started to feel afraid, because he was feeling more and more tired and anxious. All I could see was he was working 10-12 hours a day, barely getting home to sleep and then immediately running to the lake just to come back even more tired. So the last weekend, I told him that it`s not okay. We need some time on our own to relax, to chill, to do –our- thing, because he by this time was totally giving up on work. There were lots of misunderstandings between us at the time, because he kept things to himself and was not really able to open up.. See, they do not really talk about hardships. Hardship is not very much known to him in terms of finances or private life. They live very freely and have everything. Then my grandmother died, my family collapsed. The sale of the apartments was still going on, my mother moved to my apartment for the working days, and I was already paying rent for my father in my apartment also. So this was a time, when he got tired of my family issues and his work issues. I tried asking him to spend time, like we did in the beginning to chill, to relax, to refresh ourselves, but we never had time .. it was a hard period for the both of us at work. But this also put stress on him once again. He felt he needed to perform in another field – in the relationship, too. And he lost it, he got overwhelmed… and so he broke up.
    We work at the same company a few metres away from each other. In the first few weeks we did not talk much, then a few weeks ago we started to talk. Finally. We went through everything that caused hurt for either of us. He opened up about how he wanted me to go with him on the weekends, I opened up about my insecurities, we gained a lot of understanding. We talked about why we did not move together… he wanted me to move to his place but he never mentioned, because he felt it would be futile having my mom and dad living with me temporarily.
    Then I told him I was preparing for this, my dad would be able to move.. but since he never asked me, we stayed. We talked a lot about how communication should have been better between us. And I honestly feel we have a clean slate ahead of us. Both of us know what matters for the other person now – so we can do it for the other. He is very much hesitant. He is very direct and stubborn. He says he has made a decision back then and he is defending that decision with rationalizing everything. In the past few days he has been trying to come increasingly closer to me. He comes out after me in the kitchen every time I am out. He tries to talk in person.. he even asked me out for a walk the other day. He said he wanted to kiss me, but his decision…and his parents are keeping him. He has an issue with his parents: he really wants to make up for everything he got from them and he does not want them to feel their son makes mistakes, so he is unable to stand in front of them and say just that: Okay, I gave up too early, I need this girl. We just had a Christmas party at the company yesterday. He was looking at me so much in love.. we danced, he raised me up in the air and held me, told me he knows I was right in everything and he has a lot to think of, because he made that decision for a reason back then. I asked him how much are his parents weighing in his reluctance? He said out of a scale of 10 – 25. He knows I am right, he knows there is a vision for us, but he is afraid we would break it once again. He is trying to console himself on tinder, I don`t know if he has any luck there. But I saw love and resentment in his eyes yesterday.
    What can I do now? I shared the story in completeness, so you can see all our difficulties..I really love this guy. He is just hitting 30 in January. How can I help him make this final step between knowing and finally acting against the fear of his parents disapproval?I am on good terms with his friends, they all are flabbergasted, they all keep telling him this was the greatest mistake he has ever made. Do you have any suggestion? I feel he is very close, he is just very stubborn. And we cannot really do no contact since we work in the same office.Please can you help? What is my gameplan if I love this boy and have serious belief in this?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 12, 2017 at 5:08 am

  16. Rina

    December 10, 2017 at 1:57 pm

    Hi amor,

    I’ve been constantly posting posts that stays. Any idea why he hasn’t contacted me to get his stuff back or to return mine? Do we have a chance to get back tgt?

  17. Abigail

    December 10, 2017 at 12:19 pm

    Hi,

    My ex broke up with me a few months ago now and he said he’s really hurting and that I’ve hurt him too much and my family has. I had asked him for some space as he was living with me and my parents in a cramped space and he took this as me rejecting him completely. I started the nc period and he messaged me around about a week into it saying that I had really hurt him and that he couldn’t forgive me and that I would never get anybody better than him. I started speaking to him again as he messaged me and he agreed to give me another chance again. It went well for 3 weeks but he’s got a lot on his plate with work and Christmas coming. He has been giving me mixed messages and leaving me confused, he told me yesterday he wants space and thinks we should just move on from each other as he is still hurting. He has said he still loves me previously. But he wants space from the thing that has hurt him, ie me. What shall I do? How do I know he means it this time? When I tried the no contact he got angry that I had made no effort with him. Do I try nc again or just move on?
    Thanks

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 12, 2017 at 4:41 am

      Hi Abigail,

      well, he asked for space.. continue talking to him after he himself don’t want to talk to you will look like you’re chasing him and you’re also handing over your power to him whenever he messages you.. So, to get your power back and to make it equal between you two, accept the break up.. stick to nc at least 30 days, and then slowly rebuild rapport afterwards.

  18. Pearl

    December 10, 2017 at 7:26 am

    Wow! What a nice article, it got me thinking. My relationship as just being like, whenever I complain about what I want he is always taking it the wrong way, whereas whenever he talks about he is I always intend to adjust.
    My Boyfriend is always chatting up different girls on his social media, uploading their pictures but have never trying posting our picture together or even a write up about us, this has also got me thinking that I get so furious about but it seems like he doesn’t care about my feelings.
    He is also a workaholic always working.
    Recently a fight comes up and he asked for space, I tried gnatting him for a little while but it seems not working at all. Do you think this no contact rule and giving him the space he want will work?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 12, 2017 at 4:32 am

      Hi Pearl,
      It’s not a guarantee that it will work in any situation, but it helps increase your chances of getting him back.

  19. Skye

    December 9, 2017 at 8:50 pm

    Hi, my ex and I broke it off after 7 months 4 days ago and I’m missing him horribly. We had no issues with cheating, but I had a lot of insecurity due to my history with depression that made me vulnerable to jealousy. He always had to reassure me that he would not cheat, (I believed him) but there was this other girl he was close to before we became friends in the first place. This girl caused a lot of arguments between us, and we’ve gone over the same argument over and over again, but 4 days ago, he decided that he could no longer do it anymore and that we were not meant for each other. Since then, I’ve lost my appetite, having not eaten well for a single day and am currently skipping meals not feeling hungry for some reason. But that’s not my focus.
    I gnatted him the night of the breakup as well as the next day, but 2 days after, I decided that I would use the Limited Contact Rule, given that I attend the same school as him and cannot completely avoid him.
    We still have a streak on snapchat, although we only send regular streaks. However, we have had minimal conversation through text and a small conversation yesterday in person, and it was about myself having a plan to change in order to find happiness from within. He was sort of looking at his phone while I was talking, but he did look at me when I asked if he believed in my change (he said yes). He also tried walking away and the one distinct thing I remembered from that conversation that hurt me was him saying “That’s not how it works. You’re not going to win me back without my consent.” He still is very good friends with the girl I was jealous of, and says that he doesn’t think engaging in conversation is awkward. He has not blocked me on any social media, nor my number, but had only initiated one conversation about a videogame on snapchat earlier today, which I responded to because I didn’t want him to think that I dislike him. I don’t think he dislikes me but he said that he doesn’t have a plan and will just see how things go along.
    To fix my personality issues, I’ve decided to seek out a therapist, and he knows that. Even if I’m telling myself that I will rebuild my confidence and return an energetic, mature and as the girl he once loved, there is still a part of me that whispers that he’ll lose interest in me. That little voice is driving me insane and I have a strong temptation to spill my heart out to him, but I still refrain. When is an appropriate time for me to start talking about where we went wrong in the relationship? I still have hope that we can get back together as a stronger couple.
    Also, he is the kind of guy to shut out other people when he’s upset, or only opens up to one/two people, for he can be very sensitive. I’m afraid that he’ll open up about me to this other girl and fall for her, although she likes someone else. What can I do in this state of grief? Do I have a chance of getting him back? I want an emotional connection with him again but he feels so far away…

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 12, 2017 at 2:05 am

      Hi Skye,

      The limited nc means you only talk to him about school stuff when necessary. That means keeping your snapchat streak is breaking nc.. So, you have to restart..

  20. Alice

    December 9, 2017 at 9:40 am

    My bf moved out in a rush a week ago, we both had a night out with our own friends and both got very drunk. I was home first and a few hours later when he was home we ended up having a big fight. The next day after he sobered up he packed his stuff and left ( in the rush he has taken a few of my things and left some of his). He has since been texting me but says he can’t deal with the fights or my attitude when I drink. I’ve not had a drink since that night and I miss him dearly. The last text was about 3 days ago and I told him I was fine and not to worry about me. He said he does and always will but I’ve heard nothing since. If he does text me asking if I’m ok should i text back? If I don’t and I ignore him he will ask why I haven’t text him back? We have been together 6 months – I live alone and I miss him a lot especially now it’s near to Christmas

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 12, 2017 at 1:54 am

      Hi Alice,

      send a clean slate text.. tell him you agree with his decision and then thank him for everything.. don’t say you’re doing nc.. and then start nc.

1 16 17 18 19 20