What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back

Why Did My Ex Boyfriend Unfollow Me On Social Media?

Breakups make people do strange things.

You’re heartbroken and discombobulated. You (or your ex) will question if the right decision was made. The person with whom you have shared so many things was suddenly plucked out of your life.

I’m sure that’s how you feel right now: as though there is a gaping hole in your life the size of a crater when the meteorite that was your breakup hit your life. Punched you in the gut. Slapped you in the face.

You’re in shock.

And guess what?

Chances are, your ex feels that way too, even if he was the one who broke up with you.

Unless your ex was the biggest jerk in existence, in which case you probably should reconsider your attempts to get him back and move on for good, chances are that he is going through the same things that you right now. In fact, he may be experiencing greater pain since breaking up with someone definitely takes courage.

Even if he may not show it or express it, he is probably wondering if he did the right thing.

That being said, it’s normal that after a breakup, you and/or your ex may behave in ways that are different from what you’re familiar with.

And let’s not forget that there are TONS of articles on managing breakups, which can be really baffling if you’re too emotional to process anything rationally. Not only do you have your emotions to deal with, you also have friends, family, and the Internet trying to tell you what to do.

How does that NOT drive anything crazy?!

Before diving into reasons your ex may have unfollowed you on social media, I’d like to point out a few things you shouldn’t post on social media:

  • NO sad posts about broken relationships and breakups
  • NO angry posts about how terrible men are
  • NO pensive posts about love or how ideal relationships should be

You may ask,

“Why not? This is exactly how I feel!”

That may be true, but doing any of those things come across as desperate, which is certainly NOT the position from where you will re-attract your ex! Trust me when I say that even if the quote or picture or song or movie resonated strongly with you, it is important to refrain from posting them on social media.

You want to show your ex that you are “moving on.” Now, if you’re thinking in your head that you DON’T actually want to move on from your ex (that’s why you’re here, isn’t it?), know that some of the best strategies involve the idea of “moving on without moving on.”

Having said that, those angry and sad posts do not paint the picture of someone who has moved on. Rather, they paint the picture of a desperate and heartbroken person who is still hung up over her ex and can’t move on with life.

Unfortunately, even if you really are feeling the desperation of wanting your ex back and the heartache from the breakup, social media is the last place you should vent these feelings.

What, then, should you post?

You should post things that the Ungettable Girl would post.

What’s an Ungettable Girl? Good question.

Alright, now that we have established what you should and should not post, let us jump into why your ex-boyfriend might have unfollowed you on social media.

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Reason 1: It still hurts him to see you (and your photos)

He’s hurt either by you or by having to see your photos.

If you’re being UG, you are probably – and if not, you should – posting pictures of you having fun.

You seem to be moving on just fine without him.

You are trying out and doing cool things without him.

You are making new friends.

In his head, he will also be thinking, “Is she also dating someone new?”

And this thought bothers him, despite the fact that he might have been the one to initiate the breakup instead of you. It bothers him that while he’s still processing the breakup and trying to make sense of his feelings, there you are . . . looking so beautiful and being so amazing.

Guess what?

It hurts.

Since it’s too painful for him to see photos of you or know what you’re doing, he wants to get the image of you out of his head. He believes that since you are moving on, he has to learn to move on as well. And the best way he can do this is by unfollowing you.

It is possible that his friends are telling him to do the same, but remember . . .

Him unfollowing you isn’t about you at all.

It is a reflection of him and where he is at.

Does this mean anything at all?

What it does mean is that you have had a big enough impact on him that he cannot bear to look at your profile because

  • it hurts too much
  • it gets under his skin/annoys him/angers him
  • is obviously hindering him from moving on

In his mind, you have broken up and he has lost you, so the next best thing he can is to try and move on. But, if you keep popping up on his news feed, there’s no way he can move on. Besides, his friends and family are probably telling him the same thing.

Maybe they are even telling him to delete you from social media.

But there’s probably a part of him that isn’t ready to do that just yet.

Your ex is wrestling with his emotions and going through his own weird battle.

In the end, he did the only thing he knew how to, and unfollowed you on social media.

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Reason 2: He is trying to get a reaction out of you

Men can be pretty darn immature, and the immaturity can manifest itself pretty strongly in circumstances such as a breakup.

This is why even when it is difficult to do, you should not panic over the things your ex-boyfriend does after breaking up with you, such as dating a new person or doing something you never thought he would do.

When it comes to social media, he may have unfollowed you to:

  • see how fast you notice
  • when you do notice, he wants to see you react

It boils down to how much reactivity they can trigger out of you because reactivity = control.

Some guys will do this even if they start talking to or dating a new girl.

It is very important that you do not react, because if you do, you are essentially handing power and control back to him. You are sending the message, “I am carefully watching you because I am still obsessed over every move you make.”

Ask yourself if you were ever a text GNAT.

Because if you were, freaking out or confronting your ex the moment you found out he unfollowed you on social media can be detrimental to your chances of getting him back. He already experienced you blowing up his phone with endless text messages and phone calls, begging him to get back together. He might have even experienced you showing up at his place.

You were out of control.

You were emotional.

None of those memories were positive, unfortunately.

That is why any negative emotional reaction on your part can ruin your chances of getting him back. If you freaked out and started demanding why he unfollowed you, those negative memories can be triggered. He will be reminded of how you were, and he will think, “She hasn’t changed one bit. Now I remember why we broke up.”

Even if he was being a jerk, and trying to bait you to get a reaction out of you, then I can’t tell you how important it is to hold your ground and lift your head high. Show him that you’re not affected by him unfollowing you on social media. And consider if you even want him back.

After all, do you really want to be with someone who doesn’t value you and only wants to mess with your emotions?

Free On Demand Coaching
Yes, please

Reason 3: His new girlfriend made him do it

I know that’s not what most women want to hear, especially if they want to get their exes back, but it’s true and it’s very possible that the new woman he’s dating made him do it.

If this is the case, that’s good news.

It means that you’re a threat to her, and she wants to eliminate you.

Maybe she senses that he’s still not over you, and is trying to force that process.

Whatever her reason may be, she is feeling threatened by you. She doesn’t want him to look at your photos and see how amazing you have become. At any rate, there is a high chance that she is a rebound and you have very little to fear. The new relationship, especially if they started dating shortly after your breakup, will go up in flames without you having to lift a finger.

Do you hear the good news?!

When it comes to your ex and his rebound, you don’t have to do anything!

Let things unfold naturally. But this doesn’t mean you get to be complacent.

You should definitely continue posting pictures of your new self on social media, and to the extent which you are comfortable, make your posts public.

He will stalk, even if she made him unfollow you.

Remember, it is mission-critical that you take this time during the No Contact period to be the Ungettable Girl. But being the UG isn’t something that you do only during NC or only until you get your ex back.

You can’t fake it, because trust me, your ex will notice.
To be the UG, you have to truly take the time to work on and transform yourself. It’s not a superficial change; it’s a real change.

To recap, there are several reasons your ex unfollowed you on social media. They are:

  1. He is still hurting and processing the breakup
  2. He is trying to get a reaction out of you
  3. He was forced to do so by his new girlfriend

Reasons #1 and #2 show that you still affect him, and this is precisely what you would hope for.

Even though Reason #3 is unpleasant, chances are that his new relationship is a rebound relationship, and he is trying his best to impress her. With this new girl, he is experiencing the honeymoon stage of the relationship.

During this time, you should definitely channel what I would call your “UG-ness” and subtly remind him through social media that you are a woman of high value and you are currently living this amazing life post-breakup.

You may think, “Wait! But he’s already unfollowed me! How do I use social media to demonstrate my UG-ness?”

As I have mentioned before, he will naturally become curious at some point.

What is she up to? Has she been dating anyone new? Is she doing anything fun?

He will be wondering about these questions, and probably a ton of other questions as well.

This is why it is encouraged that you keep some of your social media posts public. However, you should only do it to the extent which you are comfortable.

If you think there are things that people such as your boss should never see or find out, then put yourself first and keep those posts private!

If you do not want everyone to see certain posts, then you should definitely keep them private.

But . . . what about that cute picture of you holding a puppy?

Or maybe that picture of you being a real badass at tennis?

Or that post about the super cool promotion you were offered at your job?

It’s about striking a balance, and when you post anything on social media, especially if you are going to make the post public, definitely do a quick check and ask yourself two seemingly simple but considerably important questions:

  • Will this post hurt/harm me in any way? (e.g. Is this something I should keep private so that my employer won’t see?)
  • Is this a UG post?

(This post was written by Carmen Khoo)


Written by EBR Teamate

Chris Seiter

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37 thoughts on “Why Did My Ex Boyfriend Unfollow Me On Social Media?”

  1. Sarah

    February 16, 2018 at 5:00 pm

    My ex unfollowed me on instagram the day I left him, but he still kept me as a friend on facebook and did not block me on whatsapp where we used to talk. I am much more active on instagram than facebook. What does that mean?

  2. Gem

    January 29, 2018 at 7:07 am

    Hi Amor

    So are you saying in all instances even telling him about making his relationship status private so the whole world doesn’t see isn’t my business? What about having respect for each other’s privacy and feelings? Or is that not of my concern? Is your point if I tell him this, it may come across that I still care? And haven’t accepted leaving him alone?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 31, 2018 at 12:09 pm

      Yes, it would look like an excuse to talk to him and you would come across as nagging because you’ve already broken up. That’s his account,if he wants to make his relationship status public, that’s his call.

  3. Genevieve

    January 21, 2018 at 12:32 am

    Wait, my best friend said that he followed her first, and she was surprised that he had an Instagram but she followed him back because she wondered why he had one, and why would he follow her when they only met each other twice during my relationship with him. That’s when she started suspecting him of keeping tabs on me

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 21, 2018 at 11:35 am

      Hi Genevieve
      Yes, she can be right.. So just keep your accpunt public and post more pics of you looking great

  4. Genevieve

    January 20, 2018 at 11:47 pm

    My ex created an Instagram account a week ago, and this shocked me because I know for a fact that he hates taking pictures and thinks Instagram is a waste of time. I love Instagram and used to be on it a lot when we were together, and he would tell me it’s a ridiculous app, how he would never get one, and encouraged me to get useful apps that he also uses. He and I were kind of long distance (different colleges 45 min apart) and been together for 2 1/2 years, until he out of the blue broke up with me almost 2 months ago, and we haven’t spoken since around the beginning of December even though he wants us to be friendly. Then I get this Instagram notification that my Facebook Friend (my ex) created an account, but he hasn’t posted anything yet. I do want him back, but I don’t want to follow him first on the app, especially since I’ve been feeling way better than back when he left me. My best friend started following him and vice versa, and the other day she suggested that he might be watching my account since my pictures are public. It sounds a little crazy to me, but could she be right?

  5. Gem

    December 16, 2017 at 2:53 pm

    Usually a relationship status you can make seem by only you on Facebook privacy settings – do you think it’s fair of me to ask him to make it private ? I never changed my status but it wasn’t being seen really by anyone coz it was always hidden?

    I feel hurt but I feel I should request him to hide it our close friends know but we all have 100s of acquaintances on Facebook and I didn’t want them all knowing?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 20, 2017 at 12:27 pm

      Hi Gem,

      it would be better not to ask him to do that

  6. Gem

    December 16, 2017 at 12:26 pm

    I never realized how changing Facebook status and relationship updates would hurt – both of us have clearly stayed off social media on our breakup phase but since it has been months he finally went to edit the cover pic of two of us to just be of him and changed his status to ‘single’.

    Somehow he also limited any of his posts to me (I’m not sure how) because before I could see say his bday messages from earlier this year but now it’s no longer there – he hasn’t unfriended me but he has limited his past posts that don’t include me so I can’t see it only him and his friends that posted can.

    I know it irks me but I’m just blown away and hurt and I know you going to tell me that the best thing is to stop regressing and going back but I am hurt that now fine he changed pics and relationship status but why would he want to hide all his other new feeds from me? Like why is it so easy that he just wants to wipe everything about me off his life ?

    Is that wot person who does the breaking up wants? That is is so easy for them they just want to forget so not interested in you or don’t want you to even seeing anything they are doing anymore ?

    Maybe it’s because Iv never broken up with someone before is that I don’t know how this works I don’t know what’s in their minds? I just don’t get how easy it is for man to move on:( and just not care one bit or rather that they feel so hurt by you they want to wipe everything u did together away? Like just forget ? And yet they broke up with you, you so hurt but we are the ones who can’t seem to be treating them how they treat us ? It should be us that must ingore them and hate them yet they ignore and hate us but all we want to do is run after them!! 🙁 I hate that it hurts so much and i hate that it makes us want them more 🙁

  7. Olive

    December 3, 2017 at 9:26 am

    Hello. I f*cked up. He unfollowed me on instagram and I unfollowed him too. I try to use no contact, but I feel like I failed when I unfollowed him. Ugh… Is this a disaster?
    I initiated no contact a little over 2 weeks ago.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2017 at 1:46 am

      Hi Oliver,

      just make your account your public, so that he can see your posts if he checks it.. do less of instagram stories.. do posts that just stays there unless you remove them.

  8. Jessica

    November 28, 2017 at 1:51 pm

    Hi I’m Jessica again, We decided to be friends by the number of friends in common, the contact 0 ended from that day but you can tell that he is still a bit annoyed or resentful, anyway, even he liked my photos and I saw my stories in ig, until this happened btw I post twice a month, I want him as a friend he was a great friend before the relationship and he is pretty inmature though , also I don’t want to fell rejected like I was the one that wants him back or something. Thanks

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 29, 2017 at 2:30 pm

      Sorry, I’m confused.. How long have you been doing nc, how active are you in improving yourself and did you mean you just want to be friends and not to get back together?

  9. Jessica

    November 25, 2017 at 5:11 pm

    Hi, my ex unfollowed me on IG also unlike and like some pictures, so I didn’t do anything but how much time I have to wait to unfollow him or talk to him or anything? BTW his birthday its this Friday.. So I don’t know what to do.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 27, 2017 at 5:05 pm

      Hi Jessica,
      You dont have to unfollow him..are you in the nc period? If yes, how long have you been and how much are you improving yourself and how active are you in posting/

  10. Cat

    November 15, 2017 at 11:10 pm

    My ex followed me on Instagram and got angry at me when I contacted him(no contact for 20 days) what does this mean?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 18, 2017 at 2:18 am

      HI Cat,

      what did you say to him? It can mean he doesn’t want you to chase him…

  11. Bethany

    November 13, 2017 at 9:07 pm

    Hi, my ex and I dated for almost 2 years. I initiated the break up and later regretted it. I apologized about a month later after on-and-off contact and asked if he wanted to try again and he said no. He told me he wanted to move on and then he deleted me from social media. Did he do this because he hates me? Why did he wait to unfollow me after one month? He is acting as if I am stalking him on social media, which I definitely was not. Does this mean he still has feelings for me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 17, 2017 at 8:28 pm

      HI Bethany,
      more likely because he’s still angry.

  12. Jess

    November 13, 2017 at 6:50 pm

    Hi, my ex broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. I last spoke to him 3 days ago (short chat just general how you doing) I ended the conversation and have been posting a lot of positive stuff and photos of me out and about meeting new people. I’ve been going out with a guy friend and I’ve been putting photos of us on and my ex recently unfollowed me. Should I unfollow him too? He only uses one social media that I use too. Should I keep posting? What does it mean that he’s unfollowed me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 17, 2017 at 8:20 pm

      Hi Jess,

      It’s not a no contact period if you keep talking to him or replying to him.. If he unfollowed you, it probably means he’s still affected with your posts.. You don’t have to unfolllow him but you have to restart the count of nc.

  13. Abbza

    October 26, 2017 at 11:18 am

    Please help! I previously wrote on another article in regards to my ex. We’re long distance. We broke it off on January of this year, I did the no contact and initiated contact and we got back together in March. However, we took a trip to Madrid and I obviously had not given myself enough time and acted horribly, still holding on to stuff about our past. Anyways, he broke it off in the end of March and met someone first days of April. We spoke for a bit in May and I completely went silent. We haven’t spoken for about 5 months and I just reached out to him the other day and we talked over the phone last night. He told me he has a new girlfriend! But I sort of already knew because she posts tons of pictures of them traveling and stuff. Sad sad day! I’m trying to figure out if I should give it more time or if I should even bother trying to get him back. His mom messages me now and then, which is probably nothing.

    So our conversation went well. He asked me where I was moving to and I told him nothing. He told me about his new girlfriend and he asked me if I was seeing someone and I told him nothing. I asked him if he was happy and he said yes. They are both in the same country and I’m miles away! 🙁 help! I think I screwed up and had skype XXX with him. I don’t want to over think it but have I lost any chance of possibly fixing things? We laughed, talked and the conversation went well for more than an hour.

    What can I do? What shall I do? He’s obviously moved on and like you said in the episode, don’t want to be someone’s second choice but then again, we were very serious and he bought me a ring. (He immediately asked me if I sold the ring, which obviously I didn’t!)

    It’s October now and the last we spoke was end of September. I got drunk and called him and after that he blocked me on all social media. I can see why but I wasn’t begging him back, I was just asking him for help. I’m sure I sounded ridiculous. He’s been with this new girl since the week after we broke off and it hurts.

    What to do? 🙁

    Help help!


    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 29, 2017 at 11:05 am

      HI Abbza,

      are you going to do the no contact rule?

  14. Olivia

    October 10, 2017 at 1:29 am

    Okay, my boyfriend did not unfollow me, but this is social media related. I dated my ex for 4 years before breaking up due to long distance/arguing mostly due to the distance and no plan to move closer to one another. After a year apart, we are now dating again thanks to your advice. (officially for 4 months now). In the past, my boyfriend has been rather conservative in his social media posts. He rarely posts about anything. Over the years, I have asked him to post pictures of me, and explained that it bothered me that he never put pictures of us up. I would say in the 4 years we dated, he posted about 4 photos of us. Now that we are back together, this issue still exists. He is completely okay with me posting any pictures of us, but if I send him a cute pic and offer it up for him to post, he will deny me. If I get upset, he freaks out and explains that he will never discuss social media with me or argue over social media because he thinks it is stupid and has no affect on our relationship. While I agree to some degree, it does seem odd that he gets so angry and defensive when it comes to posting photos of us together. If you were to look at his facebook, everything is in private mode, and there is 1 photo of me on his instagram from about 2 years ago. Otherwise, he seems completely single. Is this odd, or am I overthinking things? I want to be with someone who is proud to show me off, and in public he is very open about the fact that he is my boyfriend, arrives to parties, gatherings, etc with me regularly. But, I just find it so weird that he wants to appear single on social media. What do I do?

    1. Olivia

      October 10, 2017 at 1:32 am

      I also noticed that when I post something on instagram, he does not allow it to be added to his tagged photos tab….but he allows everyone else’s tagged photos of him to appear there. (including a few pics of us together in groups with our families). Odd.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 10, 2017 at 3:08 pm

      Maybe he just knows that if he did that to his friends, they would ask ehy..

    3. Olivia

      October 10, 2017 at 3:14 pm

      What do you mean they would ask ehy? Can you please elaborate on that? I have asked him about it, but have since stopped since he told me he doesnt want to argue about social media and I don’t want to sound crazy like i am checking his tagged photos. I am trying to focus on the fact that our real life relationship is great but the social media thing does still bother me….

    4. Olivia

      October 10, 2017 at 3:15 pm

      What do you mean they would ask ehy? Can you please elaborate on that? I have asked him about it, but have since stopped since he told me he doesnt want to argue about social media and I don’t want to sound crazy like i am checking his tagged photos. I am trying to focus on the fact that our real life relationship is great but the social media thing does still bother me…. i feel like he is keeping me a secret on social media sometimes for some reason?

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 11, 2017 at 9:19 am

      Sorry that was a typo..I mean they would ask him why he wouldn’t want them to tag him..so, to avoid that, he just lets them but if he himself is active in posting but doesn’t include then that’s different..I think he’s just not that into social media posting

  15. Stephanie

    September 25, 2017 at 6:40 am

    Hi, my ex boyfriend and I were together for 4 years and broke up about 2 months ago because he lied to me about something that made me feel betrayed. I ended the relationship, and after a few days of me ignoring his calls and messages, I finally cooled down and attempted to talk things out. When I was read to talk, my ex boyfriend said he needed space to figure out what he wants. I the midst of this, my ex boyfriend created an instagram and wouldn’t let me follow him on it even after I requested him. After a month of me continuing to nag trying to understand why my ex boyfriend is asking for space after a breakup, I finally agreed to give him the space he was asking for. My ex said that although he wanted space, he wanted to talk every now and then and see each other once a week to catchup- this lasted for one week. My ex randomly initiated what seems to be no contact for about 25 days now. He just randomly did not respond to a text that I sent him. As of today, my ex boyfriend deleted me on facebook and snapchat, and still has never accepted my instagram request to follow him. Why would he block/delete me at this point during the no contact phase? Did he start no contact with me? I am not sure if he blocked me on the phone too because I have no reached out to him. Do I text him to ask him why he randomly blocked me? I would like this relationship to work but I don’t understand my ex boyfriends actions.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 28, 2017 at 8:28 pm

      Hi Stephanie,

      he probably didn’t start a nc period with you, because if he did, that means he would initiate contact and start building rapport to get you back.. but it looks like he just ghosted you. You should start the no contact period if you want to raise your chances of getting him back.

  16. Rick

    September 7, 2017 at 5:52 am

    So if they unfollow you do you unfollow them back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 7, 2017 at 9:31 pm

      HI Rick,


  17. Meg

    August 24, 2017 at 4:01 am

    I did 43 days of no contact because I didn’t feel like I was quite ready emotionally. Today I sent him a text asking for a favor because something made me think of his work but stating that there was no pressure and to take care. He texted back within ten minutes, first calling me something weird, which I’m not sure what he meant by it, then stating that he won’t be working there anymore so can’t help me. I waited a few hours and then texted a simple “Okay. Thanks for letting me know!” Now I found out that he no longer follows me on Youtube or instagram, plus he unfriended me on Facebook. Just earlier today I know I was still friends with him because he was on messenger at the same time as me. I’m trying not to freak out, but I had felt really good about how everything was going. I’ve been improving myself, posting on social media, and he was even liking a lot of my posts before. What should I do? I was originally planning on waiting a few days and then starting another text conversation with him, but I feel a little hopeless right now.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 24, 2017 at 11:17 pm

      yep, wait a few days again before initiating.. Act as if you didn’t know he unfriended or unfollowed you.

  18. M

    August 2, 2017 at 12:21 am


    I got ghosted and unfollowed him because I was so mad. I’m channeling my UG-ness and doing a ton of stuff in my own life, but I keep thinking about him. We don’t have any mutual friends and he recently unfollowed me on Instagram. Do you think I should be the one to refollow after a 45 day no contact is up?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 4, 2017 at 4:57 pm

      Do that once you’ve already built rapport