Learn When The No Contact Rule Won't Work On Your Ex

748 thoughts on “When NOT To Use The No Contact Rule On Your Ex Boyfriend”

Jae

January 25, 2018 at 12:23 am

Hi. So my boyfriend/fiance after knowing each other for a very long time, reconnected, but he decided he wants space. It was overwhelming so I was a bit needed. He told me that I was doing too much and that ” it’s done, he’s done” and that if I wanted to “fix something, I should give him his space and we’ll be great again”. Confusing, because I don’t know what side to lean toward. Should I lean towards the “I’m done” side or the “give me space so we’ll be great again” side?!. I’ve honoured his wish, I gave him space, however, he kinda has 2 important things coming up. I mean I told him Good luck like 3 days before one event so…. Should I text him on the actually date? or just let it rest. I really don’t know how this mind game works.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 25, 2018 at 7:36 pm

Hi Jae,

when did he get in touch with you? If you’re giving him space, don’t contact him at all.

Julie

January 17, 2018 at 2:31 am

Hi, I have been doing NC for 6 days. Me and him was in a relationship about 4 months then he told me he wanted to be just best friend. We work in the same office but different floor, so it’s still possible to do NC. But yesterday he called me twice and I didn’t answer. After that he sent me text saying, “Why is it so hard to call you? I just want to ask something about work stuffs.. Fine, I will not call you again forever..”
That’s what he said. What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 18, 2018 at 7:15 am

Hi Julie,

Nothing if he really wanted to tell you something about work, he would have said that in that text.

louise

January 16, 2018 at 1:56 pm

Hi there,
It’s been 6 months since my ex of 9 years left…we have two young children and see each other a lot. We’ve been out places too like cinema etc. I’ve been working on myself each and every day. He also has severe depression. On new years day he said to me that he will never have feelings for me again and that “it is what it is” and that really hurt. He has given me so many mixed signals…he buys me things…adds music that he thinks I might like to my spotify etc … So his actions and words both say different things. Do you think I should change things now and do limited contact for my children’s sake :/ ? I feel maybe I’m in the “friendzone” .. Any advice is appreciated thanks.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 18, 2018 at 6:36 am

Hi Louise,

why did he say that? And if you weren’t doing limited contact before, what was your tactic?

Emma

January 9, 2018 at 10:02 am

Me my ex been broken up about 1 month ago an half, I used the no contact rule lasted about 30 days, we ended quite badly with him making comments on my appearance but I felt he was doing that because he was hurting, he blocked me of Instagram but I can still text and he replies with mix signals but then has recently told me he’s moved on, but we was together for three years! I don’t know if it’s true or I just don’t wanna believe it if he has should I just give up because it hurts to much! Will he come back an regret it?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 11, 2018 at 4:25 pm

Hi,

why did you broke up? and how much did you improve yourself during nc and are you still actively improving yourself and being active in posting? Why did he say that? Did you ask him?

Hannah

January 9, 2018 at 9:56 am

Me and my ex broke up after 3 years being together, we’ve been broken up about 2 month now and I tried the no contact rule for about 30’days and when I said merry Christmas and happy new year he told me he’d move on and was with someone else? Could this be true? Is all hope gone the pain of it is killing me. He’s blocked me on most social media but I can text him..

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 11, 2018 at 4:25 pm

Hi,

why did you broke up? and how much did you improve yourself during nc and are you still actively improving yourself and being active in posting? Why did he say that? Did you ask him?

Rowayda

January 7, 2018 at 3:27 pm

Hello,

Me and my ex boyfriend live in the same building and we work together, during no contact he tried to talk to me at work about things not work related but I completely shut him off. I know he has some stuff of mine and will be moving out to a new place. The last time we spoke before no contact, he was giving me a lot of mixed signals as well as mentioning he will give me back my stuff ‘sometime soon’. On the day of him moving out, I knew for a fact he was gonna take the stuff and I just don’t wanna drag the subject or let him use this as an excuse in the future to see me or talk to me or just keep things ‘hanging’. What I did is that I went to him and knocked on his door, I took my stuff and rushed out. During our short meeting, he was surprised to see me and was so flirty and even asked me to stay but I didn’t, I had a mission and I accomplished it.

My question is does that bring the no contact rule knowing I could have survived without those things? I just could not stand the fact that he had something of mine. I want to cut all ties with him.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 9, 2018 at 9:26 pm

Hi Rowayda,
nope, you didn’t break the nc rule because you literally just got your stuff and did nothing else.

Jane

January 7, 2018 at 9:28 am

I broke up with my partner (we are 48yrs old) of 4.5yrs 6 months ago because of his level of commitment. The relationship was just not progressing. He told me throughout the relationship we were on the same page and wanted the same thing. We didnt live together. Now he says he doesnt want to be with me if he cant give me that commitment. He has never married. During 6 months we remained in contact, had coffee late November talked for hours but still it his commitment level. Few days before xmas he told me he loved me, missed me, xmas wouldnt be the same without me and wished he could just say yes and do it giving me hope. In less than a week I found out he has started dating someone much younger. I was absolutely gutted, blew my world apart. I text seeking answers but now he doesnt respond. I am not sure what to do.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 9, 2018 at 8:55 pm

Hi Jane,

you can still try the nc rule at this point.. check this one:
EBR 024: Using Social Media To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Kay

January 2, 2018 at 2:19 am

My ex boyfriend and I dated for almost 2 years (And i moved in with him 3 months into our relationship). He broke up with me two weeks ago, and I moved out that same day because he wanted me ou.t When it happened, I cried so much and begged for him to take me back but he kept saying no, that we weren’t meant to be, that we can’t be together, that we argue too much. I saw him twice since the break up to pick up stuff he said I had left behind. We tried talking but he said that since my departure, he sleeps a little better and isnt stressed anymore, he misses me but that hes doing better. So I left him alone but on Christmas Eve I texted him a merry Christmas and he just texted back short and told me he didn’t think he wanted to try again. That he was sorry, but it was for the best, he seemed so sure and like he thought about it for a long time. I called crying, but he told me to.leave him alone, and so I just stopped texting him and started the NC rule.. He texted me a “take care” message on New Years. Since i started the NC rule 5 days prior, i didnt text back. Do I still have a chance to get him to change his mind or should I just stop trying?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 5, 2018 at 6:21 pm

Hi Kay

finish the process first.. if it doesn’t work, then move on..

Help

December 31, 2017 at 12:35 am

After being separated for 3 months me and my ex are back on good terms , texting going on dates .. etc . But he still keeps accusing me of doing something wrong to him that I didn’t do (which is why he broke up with em ) & I recently got a new job which he hates because I work around a lot of men . So basically he has no trust and I can feel himself pulling away from me …
Today I wrote him a hey and no response but he was online 3 times after I sent it . So then I wrote again with a emoji face (showing I was annoyed) he then wrote back 3 minutes later and said what’s up ?

I opened it and didn’t respond.
Because obviously he seen my message and I’m not putting up with him doing things like that anymore like before when we were together..

Did I make the right decision? Should I wait and respond in a couple of days? Or go NC?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 31, 2017 at 11:01 pm

Hi,
check this one:
How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Thinks You Cheated But You Didn’t

Kay

December 21, 2017 at 6:41 am

Hello,

So I broke up with my ex last April after almost 7 years together (long distance) and started NC. This went on longer (more than 3 months). I sort of ghosted him, actually. So I realized I wanted him back and contacted him but he said he doesn’t want to get back together. He said he doesn’t want a long distance relationship anymore and wants to move on with his life. He said I wasn’t there when he needed me. So, I panicked and begged him to stay, which of course, didn’t work. I just came across this site after all of that happened. We were getting along quite well before when I contacted him again but I ruined it with my begging. He texted me religiously everyday and he also sends me pictures of him. Now, we haven’t talked to each other for almost 2 weeks now.

What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 25, 2017 at 5:45 pm

Hi Kay,

if it’s two weeks, are you actively improving yourself and posting in social media?

Megz

December 8, 2017 at 11:33 am

Hi, so i was seeing this guy for about 2 to 3 months. We hadn’t made it official as yet. It started off really well, he has been in love with me for a while, unfortunately we had a bad fall out and started fighting constantly, he claims he still loves me but his feelings towards wanting to get into a relationship is no longer there and he doesn’t know how he feels anymore. Ive tried to rekindle what we first had when we started seeing eachother but it didn’t work. He has a lot of pride so he hardly speaks on or shows how he feels. He is also the type of guy that doesn’t beg for anyone. I am 5 days into the no contact rule and im just wondering if I actually need to continue with it, considering we werent dating and it was only for a few months.

About a week ago before I started the no contact rule, he was getting back to his old self but unfortunately we had another fight, im just worried that he is the type of guy that the NC will not work on

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 11, 2017 at 10:01 am

Nc is for you to have a restart before starting to rebuild rapport.. It doesn’t mean it didn’t work if he didn’t message you in it

kim

December 5, 2017 at 1:07 am

Hi, my boyfriend and I broke up about 2 and half months ago. It was his decision. I would text him off and on when I got sad but he really didn’t seem into the conversation and it was always very short. I just started the no contact rule about two weeks ago. I also deleted him on all my social medias so I couldn’t see anything of us because it made me upset. Did I implement it too late and is all lost hope. I feel like he won’t care because he really doesn’t seem to. He hasn’t texted me at all this whole break up. We dated for 3 years.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 5, 2017 at 8:06 pm

Hi Kim,

It’s not yet too late but if you’re not doing posts in Facebook or Instagram that just stays there, make your nc period 45 days.. just make your posts public and be active in improving yourself.

Lindsay Parker

November 20, 2017 at 5:05 am

My ex and I are freshly broken up, so I started NC. Then he texted and told me his/our dog has cancer and 1-2 months to live and that I should go visit the dog, who stays with his parents. He doesn’t live there. I broke NC to text him a few hours later telling him I was sorry, and even called him quickly to let him know I felt for him and quickly hung up the phone. The next day I went to his parents house to visit the dog, without telling him, starting NC again. Then he texted me to thank me for visiting after his parents told him I came by. Should I respond to his thank you?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 21, 2017 at 8:02 pm

Hi Lindsqy,

Yeah that’s ok as long as it’s only about the dog

deborah

November 8, 2017 at 8:30 am

Tho he likes my post of fb once inna while nd his friends has been asking me if I have heard from him..i told them “not really’..nd they were like “hope u guys ain’t having issues”…i said “not at all”….

Was my reply good?… Pls help me on this.. God bless

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 8, 2017 at 9:18 pm

Hi Deborah,

Honestly, it’s a tricky one with his friends, but next time just don’t answer at all when they message.. right now, check this one:
The No Contact Rule Is Killing Me…

deborah

November 8, 2017 at 8:21 am

I Nd my boyfriend broke up a week ago (after 2years of dating) ..we had an argument bout how one sided the relationship was (it has always been bout him than bout me).. I wanted it to be 50/50..he got so upset about this nd he told me to leave his life nd go find someone else who can give me a 50…i tried my best to make him understand but he refused he said i was giving him headache that I should leave.. I was like (wow after two years of dating..like really u wanna throw all of that away).. I was so upset..so I left (we broke up..by 6am) .. By 2pm that same day.. He messaged me.. he said he wanted us to get bck together nd I replied by telling him to go find a girl who wouldn’t give him headache..he said “Alright”…nd he didn’t message me neither did he call me…
The following day he messaged me again in the evening he said he was ready to do whatever I wanted nd that he will make the relationship a 50/50…i made a list of things that I wanted him to do nd he agreed on doing it …i told him that if he ever uses curse words on me he will get replaced…he got so upset nd he was like “u’re giving me all this servere treatment Bcus I want u bck?.. I wouldn’t beg anyone.. It’s Bcus I love u so much”…i was like “if u loved me so much u wouldn’t have asked me to leave”..he said “after all we have been thru.. Let’s not let this issue break us”..nd I told him “I said the exact same thing last nd u still insisted that I should leave”…i sent him screen shots of our chats..nd I was like “u caused it u pushed me away..i have figured out that guys dnt like cool girls u guys prefer the crazy ones”..nd he was like “is this the first time I am asking u to leave?..why re u now taking it so serious?…”nd oh so now u wanna be a crazy girl.. I don’t think I will be able to cope with that.. Girl forget bout it bye.”…i was like “if u had treated me right I could have still been a sweet girl”..he was like “there is no need for all of this.. Girl bye”…i said “alright boy bye”..
He blocked me on facebook messenger afterwards nd I blocked him too.. He has been acting like the victim since then.
I feel bad Bcus I feel like I should have forgiven him but if I did he wouldn’t respect me…he wouldn’t change completely..normally I will beg him but I found out bout the no contact rule nd I have been using it since the third day we broke up.. It’s been 4 days now.. Pls re there still chances that I will get him bck?..have I done something bad by not forgiving him that day?… Should I call him?.. Should I keep up with the no contact?…how will I stop feeling bad nd like turn the table on him nd make him stop feeling like the victim..pls I need ur help
Hanna

October 30, 2017 at 3:00 pm

Hi!
So my ex and I have been separated for about 2 months, the no contact rule was followed but I texted him last night and we decided to meet up. It was corigel, we laughed like we used to, and playfully brought up the past and he apologized for what he did (he cheated and is currently still with this person) I told him I missed him and missed having him around as a friend. I don’t know if that was a smart idea, but he kept leaning in for kisses so I don’t know if he has infact learned his own lesson. He states he’s been telling his friends and brother that he wants to break up with current gf because things just aren’t the same and I told him they won’t be and asked why he’s with someone he feels like he has to hide who he is and what he does… he was also slightly drunk when I saw him and other things. Idk if he meant any of it. Idk if I should restart the no contact rule and see if he reaches out first since this meeting. Help!

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2017 at 4:24 pm

Hi Hanna,

Just continue buildinf rapport slowly

Ezgi

October 15, 2017 at 4:30 pm

Hi i decided to go no contact with my ex boyfriend. I didnt text him or did anything after we broke up but i decided to block him from my social media and also whatsapp. He blocked me from his social media but he left whatsapp open. I know he is using it and i know he saw that he has been blocked. Did i make a wrong thing to block him from my social media? And why he didnt block me on whatsapp? What is he trying to do? Please help me. I am begging you.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 15, 2017 at 8:25 pm

Hi Ezgi,

Yup unblock him but don’t send a friend request.. Just make your posts public

Kira Maschkow

October 12, 2017 at 11:44 pm

So i have been in a relationship for almost 4 years. After my bf started college he was very busy an we didn’t talk or saw each other much, but other thab that we still had a great time when we were together . 2 weeks ago i discovered a chat with a girl from his school and they were flirting. I got mad and he said he didn’t feel the same about me. I was so broken. He blocked me on every social media, not in a bad way but he said he just wanted get the temptation to make contact. I was angry. Then i got a messanger text from that girl. She got really mean and said i had to back off and she called me stupid midget and bitch and lots of other bad things. She even made a fake account with my name, inviting all his friends so it looked like i was stalking. 5 days later he got in a relationship with her… 5days after the break up. His parents came by to talk with me. They were so sweet and they said they will talk to him so he can talk to me cuz he didn’t want to. I decided to do the no contact rule but now he wants to talk to me. I really want some answers but im afraid he won’t come back to me , and i really want him as bf again. Are my chances gone?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 13, 2017 at 6:38 pm

Hi Kira,

Nope it’s not..why did he want to talk?

Vanessa Walsh

October 1, 2017 at 10:02 pm

Hi does the no contact rule work if we haven’t spoken since we broke up? (4 days ago?)

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 2, 2017 at 7:43 pm

Hi Vannesa,

It’s not a guarantee that it would work in any situation, it just helps increase your chances of getting him back

Alicia

August 24, 2017 at 5:55 am

Me and my ex broke up a month ago and because I could not find a place immediately we had to stay together. Sometimes things went bad between us as we argued so much about cannot be together in the same house. He insisted that in order for us to be together again or being friends we must be apart, he got irritated easily seeing me around the house. It’s impossible to to do the NC rule while living with him and he has been hot and cold like he still cares but doesn’t want to show that he cares. When he is nice to me I wanted to be nice back to him but then he got angry because he thought that I was keeping my hope high and trying to get him back. So I have tried to distanced myself a bit whenever he needs to talk to me i will response but sometimes I initiate our conversation too and I always keep it short. I’m moving out in 10 days and I’m planning to do the NC rule for a month. However, he still owns me money and it would be hard to not stay in contact with him as I would need to remind him about paying me back. What should I do? Moreover, from today til the day I moved out how should I be around him? Should i be cold and distant so he knows that we are different now? or should I be friendly and cheerful then after i move out and cut off contact with him, he would miss my presence even more? Thank you.

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 24, 2017 at 11:21 pm

HI Alicia,

check this one:
EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

« Previous 1 … 8 9 10 11 12 … 19 Next »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

748 thoughts on “When NOT To Use The No Contact Rule On Your Ex Boyfriend”