What Should I Do If My Breakup Is Killing Me? It's Consuming My Every Thought

198 thoughts on “What Should I Do If My Breakup Is Killing Me?”

W

November 10, 2017 at 2:29 pm

Hi Amor, tmr was supposed to be our 3rd anni. Can i ask him out for a date ? Maybe a one last one before i send the re-breakup text and start nc ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 12, 2017 at 8:24 pm

I hope you didn’t..

Yas

November 9, 2017 at 8:43 pm

Hi Chris,

I dated my ex for almost two years. Mostly long distance because we both moved. This summer we broke up because we had communication failure. I did no contact for almost two months, then i followed your texting advice and messaged him. He was kind and replied, we talk here and there but the issue is he will always randomly stop answering.

What can i do? Should i go visit him? Ask him to hangout in his city?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 12, 2017 at 11:45 pm

Hi Yas,

nope, because you don’t have enough rapport to meet with him.. How much did you improve yourself and how active are you in posting?

w

November 9, 2017 at 3:23 am

Hi Amor, i couldnt change my training schedule as we train together every week as a team. But skipping training for a month shoulnt be a big problem because i’ve tried skipping for a month or two before this because i still couldnt face him and look at him in public. I’ve red the re-breakup msg on this website, could i change to to something similar like this? ‘ Hey, I have been thinking abt things lately. I have really enjoyed spending time with you and i really would like to continue but i am looking for someone who values commitment and exclusivity and you seem confused about moving forward with me.Im not a confident person but would say that choosing freedom over me is definitely a wrong move because life with me will definitely be more enjoyable than having fun yourself. I think you need some time and space to be alone and think about what you want but at the meantime it would be best for me to …. ‘, what should i say after that? I felt like if i say ‘search for that special someone ‘ he’ll just freak out even more because he’s someone who sees face importantly and therefore since i alr said that im searching for a special someone he’ll just let me go. Could you help me alter my re-breakup text abit? And how many days of NC should i do? Can i do a 21 days NC or it must be 30 days?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 12, 2017 at 8:26 pm

It’s too long.. you don’t have to skip a month of training too… make it short.. Just say this:

Hey, I have been thinking abt things lately. I have really enjoyed spending time with you and i really would like to continue but i am looking for someone who values commitment and exclusivity and you seem confused about moving forward with me.

and then end it with thanking him for everything..

don’t try to explain or convince him or tell him that his choice was wrong because that just looks like you’re bitter with him and he will just prove to you that his choice was right.

Rachel

November 8, 2017 at 8:37 pm

We were together for 2 and a half years

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 12, 2017 at 8:13 pm

Do no contact rule of at least 30 days.

Ruth

November 8, 2017 at 8:25 pm

Hie
I been dating this guy for almost a month we had an argument 2 weeks back and he stopped talking to me. I sent msgs to apologies but he didn’t respond. I wanted to try a NC but couldn’t hold the feeling of not talking to him, I sent a msg and he said thx. I asked if we could meet he said am working. Do you we can try this again? He hasn’t blocked me yet.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 12, 2017 at 8:12 pm

Hi Ruth ,

Try nc again? Yeah, you can still try it.. do at least 2 weeks to 3

Barb

November 8, 2017 at 12:30 pm

My ex and I we’re together for eleven months, so just under one year. The last 5 of those months we’re long distance. I spent most of my summer traveling 8 hours to see him at least every other weekend. We had a couple issues a while back but I thought that we had resolved them. He had been seemingly very happy with me since then. He broke up with me 3 weeks ago and said he no longer had a spark for me and wanted to stay friends. We tried it for a couple of weeks and even planned for me to come visit and for him to come visit me and to go on a few dates, but then out of no where he told me a few days ago that he’s started seeing someone else. I told him that I needed time away with him with no contact for a while to see if I could even stay friends with him. I haven’t talked to him in 2 days. So I have any chance of getting out of the friend zone and getting him back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 8, 2017 at 10:07 pm

Hi Barb,

he’s not supposed to know you’re doing no contact.. So, don’t inform him on how long you’re going to do it, be active in improving yourself and in posting.

W

November 8, 2017 at 7:04 am

Hi Amor, if i will be seeing my ex twice every week for sport practise , should i attend ? We share the same gang of friends, therefore everytime they have gatherings or practise or hangouts, we both will surely meet each other ? Or should i temporary cut out all the meetings for 30 days and join them back after that ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 8, 2017 at 6:26 pm

don’t do that, that’s still chasing.. and if you can change your schedule in your practice better do it. If not, just be indifferent with him. With your friends, see your close friends at a different schedule.. You’re going to be busy with other things, your friends will understand if you can’t attend the usual schedule because you’re still making effort to see them at a different time..

Liz

November 8, 2017 at 4:38 am

thanks for the reply. well he ended it on our meetup, even though he kept crying. we both want to be friends but will go on break first. we didnt say how long etc.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 8, 2017 at 9:11 pm

that means you can start the no contact rule..

Olivia Leung

November 7, 2017 at 10:59 pm

My ex broke up with me out of the blue a few days ago. We dated for 1.7 years. I did not know this was coming because he made plans for my birthday, when he was going to visit me, what we were going to do. The day he broke up with me he treated me very well. He took me to an amazing dinner and was super sweet the entire time as usual. Then suddenly, when we got back he said that we weren’t working out and that he doesn’t know what he wants in a relationship anymore and that he doesn’t know what he wants in general. He stated a few other points but he told me that this was the main reason and that he couldn’t be with me anymore. He said that he still loved me and cared about me and that he would still keep everything I gave him (he also didn’t delete my photos or our photos on instagram yet). What do I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 8, 2017 at 7:09 pm

Hi Olivia,

do you want to try the no contact rule?

Lynn

November 7, 2017 at 9:07 pm

Thank you Amor, I’ll do that, I will tell him the same week, two days before. But what can I do to increase my posibilities during these weeks? I texted him yesterday and he didn’t even read…I am always scared that he don’t replay never more, we always do but…I am nervous, more than ever,, with his sooo perfect and happy new life (as everyday post in social media). What can I do to get him closer, to build even more rapport? Last week he was flirting with me and texting happy and nice but I am always afraid that he changes his mind…

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 8, 2017 at 7:03 pm

don’t over think.. and if he doesn’t want to meet, then he doesn’t because your fear, and avoiding that possibility of him not wanting to meet will make you desperate and then you’ll act upon that..

Rachel

November 7, 2017 at 10:54 am

My ex said we can still talk and be friends, he looks at my social media and we’re still friends on some social media sites. Should I not contact him or can I try talking to him? I haven’t done no contact he only broke up with me just over a week ago. I don’t think he’d try and talk to me during no contact, I’m the one who always initiated the conversation since he left. If I should do no contact how long should I do it for?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 8, 2017 at 6:57 pm

HI Rachel,

how long were you together?

Azi

November 7, 2017 at 10:45 am

Amor, he broke up with me 2.5 months ago and after that I was in NC for 35 days. I wrote to him, but he wasn’t to eager to talk (he replied to my ‘guess what’ message and immediately ended the conversation), so I waited for 5 more days (5 days of NC) and then wrote again (I wrote ‘weird interesting’ story which he read immediately but answered 6 hours later with nothing more but a smiley face) – this last attempt to get in touch was 3 weeks ago (NC for 24 days).

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 8, 2017 at 6:56 pm

ah, he really won’t be engaging because there’s no rapport.. you should have initiated again after 2-3 days from the last attempt..

W

November 7, 2017 at 9:07 am

Hi Amor, since this sat was supposed to be our 3 years anni, can i date him out a whole day and give him surprises because he used to complain that i dont do surprise stuff when we were tgt before i jump into the re-break up method? Because he said that he dint wanna commit for now and prefer his freedom, by doing all these maybe could let him know it’s actually better to be with me than choosing his freedom. Is it workable?
Brenda Diaz

November 7, 2017 at 5:35 am

Thanks for your help in advance!
Brenda Diaz

November 7, 2017 at 5:34 am

1. Dated for 4 years. Lived together for 3. Broke up a month ago. We had a pretty good relationship. He was very encouraging and cared for me very much. Our only biggest issue with our relationship was a year ago. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to get married. I told him we could go our own ways. He told me no, that he wanted to make our relationship work. So after a year (present time), I still felt no commitment from him. It actually seemed to get worse. He was very depressed (would miss work/sleep all day/not want to go anywhere or do anything/very unmotivated). I ended up telling him how unhappy I was and that I felt unloved and that I was the only one planning our future and he didn’t seem interested in being part of my future. He decided it was best we broke up. He said “think we are on opposite sides of the spectrum. I want to be able to make my own choices. I don’t want to hold you back from reaching your goal (getting married) (like getting married is suppose to be a goal you check off from your bucket list). I moved out the next day. We only had contact that first week about logistical things (our lease, dividing the furniture, money, etc). I haven’t talked to him since.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 8, 2017 at 6:15 pm

Hi Brenda,

check this one:
Do You Have The Same Values As Your Ex? (With Chase Kosterlitz)

Toya

November 7, 2017 at 12:53 am

Hi My boyfriend and I just broke up again. The relationship has only been 9 months, this is probably the 5th breakup but The first serious one. He was my very first boyfriend starting in 7th grade, my first kiss etc…after separating and going to different high schools, we lost all contact for over 15 years, finally he saw my pic on Fb..he reached out and we’ve been together since. It felt like fate in the beginning, and we moved pretty quickly, he moved in with me, and things started to go wrong. He has to always be right and catches attitudes for the smallest things. The break up was actually through text messages, and we said some pretty horrible things to one another. Some maybe unforgivable things? Idk…but we both havent contacted one another since oct 31 2017. Usually Its me who reaches out first, even going to his house to talk with out invitation. Calls, and long texts about how I feel…this time because I know he’s expecting that behavior, I want to do things differently. I usually don’t even give him time to miss me, and he keeps the control of if and when he’s going to come back
Although I feel like crap and want to reach out just to stop this feeling, I’m tired of the same outcome. Help please!?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 8, 2017 at 5:58 pm

HI toya,

check this one:
How To Get An On Again/Off Again Boyfriend Back

Jay

November 6, 2017 at 4:30 pm

Hello,

Me and my bf were together for six years. We had a long distance relationship for the last two years. I broke up with him four months ago because neither of us wanted to move. I recently moved to back to the same state as him three months ago. When i told him i moved back he said that he thought it was easier to work on himself when we werent in a relationship. He said that he needed time to get himself together so he can meet my needs and be the man i deserve. He said that he wanted me to stay apart of his life and that he wanted to get back together on new years. We tried being friends these last two months but emotions were too high. He stayed n contact, contacting me first, telling me about emotional things like family, made his phone password my birthday and inviting me on trips. The confusion was too much we had a discussion and he told me he just needed time and that he wanted to explore other people since we have only ever been with each other and work on himself. He again said he wants me to stay in his life and he is going to reach out new years to get back togerher. So i recently started doing the NC. What do u think he really means ans what do u think my chances are?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 6, 2017 at 8:45 pm

Hi Jay,

He friendzoned you.. have you tried our quiz?

Lynn

November 6, 2017 at 4:27 pm

Hi Amor, thanks for answering. The problem is that he has different shifts at work, so if I tell him at the moments notice, he may not be able to meet. I need to tell him in advance because this is my only chance, I travel to that city like once a year, is not that if he couldn’t, I would have another chance in January…
So I need to prepare the field during this weeks before telling him a few days before my trip. And I don’t know how, he is nice and flirty, but he is not leting things go, he always reaches a limit and when he is starting to get closer, he stops. And with his new life I am afraid to loose him forever…

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 6, 2017 at 8:44 pm

tell him a day or two before..

W

November 6, 2017 at 3:31 pm

Hi Amor, can i use the re-breakup method ? Since he said that he is more into his freedom and he couldnt even handle with his friends if he’s tgt with me again. I felt like it’s somehow just a face problem where he needs to overcome. I can feel like there’s still something in between us.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 6, 2017 at 8:37 pm

if he’s still talking to you and you’re friend withe benefits, yes, you can try the rebreak up method but you have to do the no contact rule right after saying it.

w

November 6, 2017 at 3:15 pm

Hi Amor, yes i did the quiz. It says 43%. I did red the article abt the quiz and it said that all the chances of getting an ex back is 43%, no? What should i do now? Really dint want to move on even if he did…

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 6, 2017 at 8:36 pm

if he’s still talking to you and you’re friend withe benefits, yes, you can try the rebreak up method but you have to do the no contact rule right after saying it.

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198 thoughts on “What Should I Do If My Breakup Is Killing Me?”