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4,271 thoughts on “The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule”

  1. Joanne

    April 11, 2014 at 11:14 am

    The guy I was dating was a few years older than I am. And he has been divorce (his wife cheated on him and left him) couple years ago and he hasn’t had a relationship since. I’m sure he was with other women physically and the last girl he was with was a rebound he told me it was more a friend ship based relationship and then I come into the picture and I am the girl he grew feeling for but was still scared to get in a relationship he “wasn’t ready” and he was busy with work all the time and couldn’t devote more time for me that i deserved so he broke it off with me cause he couldn’t be boyfriend and girlfriend like I wanted and still wanted to see me after the break up but not in a relationship. I begged him and begged him to be back with me the way we were and we could fix the problems we had but he still wouldn’t budge. We’ve been broken up for two months now and every week since our break we’ve talked at least once a week or more because I would always communicate with him first. I unfollowed him on my social media and asked him to do the same but he said he wouldn’t unfollow me and he didn’t want this bridge to burn and he wants to be with me in the future when he is ready. Then finally 2.5 weeks ago I finally blocked him so he couldn’t see my posts anymore and I told myself I wouldn’t contact him anymore first unless he makes the move. And I’m still going strong on it. But he hasn’t reached out to me yet. And Im wondering if there’s a chance he will. How long will it take for him to reach out to me?

    1. admin

      April 12, 2014 at 3:50 pm

      The being cheated on by his wife created some bad trust issues.

  2. uncas4444

    April 10, 2014 at 5:24 pm

    So I ended things with a guy I was dating for two months. That was exactly 30 days ago (yippee! that I made it to this goal). But I can’t stop thinking about him. I ended things with him because while we were together, he kept on telling me that he wasn’t ready for a relationship (we met in January and he had ended a 4-year toxic relationship in November and still isn’t healed) although his behavior showed me otherwise (was constantly inviting me to things with his friends, introduced me to his family, etc.) My default was to give him a lot of space but I was getting tired of being so patient. Around his birthday he asked me to come up to the city with him to celebrate, and I met his brother and cousins and he met my sister. It was an amazing weekend. Well he came back and he ended up going on a date with someone else and making out with her. I ended it as soon as I found out, also because after that weekend he had checked out and seemed disinterested. I’ve blocked him this entire time. I have unblocked his phone during moments of weakness. I am doing another 30 days NC because I feel way too emotional to reach out to him. Everyone tells me to just forget him and move on. And I am…kinda. In the back of my mind I want him to come back to me. But he’s the “scared guy” because I broke up with him and told him to never contact me. Coupled with the fact that I’ve blocked him. What should I do? Should I unblock him? Should I just keep moving on? Another 30 day of NC. I told myself after another 30 days, I was going to write him a letter. What to do?

  3. carmen

    April 10, 2014 at 3:14 pm

    i broke up with my boyfriend of three months four days ago. he told me no hard feelings, and that he would be open to being friends, but he wanted a 2 week no contact rule. our young relationship has always been stormy, and after our short honeymoon period we were on again, off again, and lots of times i wondered if i even liked him. but i wonder if we could work it out, because i do care deeply for him (i know this does not necessarily mean we should be together, but i’d like to try again, at least at this juncture.)

    i was doing well with no contact until a weak moment today, when i texted him that i cared deeply for him and wanted him to know that, just in case anything should happen to us during our no contact period (i’m a “don’t go to bed angry” kind of thinker, and i did break up with him.) i am planning on keeping no contact until i hear from him, but i wonder if i lost my chance at reconciling because i gave in. thoughts?

  4. Sian

    April 10, 2014 at 2:39 pm

    Me and my ex were together a few months and then broke up for the college holidays.
    We talked, flirted etc. through this time.
    Once we got back (a few months later) we started dating i guess you could say (seeing each other).
    It was very on and off for a bit and just as i thought it would get somewhere, then suddenly it wouldn’t. This was usually because i pushed the relationship too fast and dwelled on getting back together when he was taking it slow.
    Currently we are in a very “off” stage.
    We talked since I last saw him and he said that “push him away so much” because of everything i dwell on.
    He said he “needs space”.
    I have currently gone NC (he is back at his home for 2 weeks anyway). Even though he was very angry last time he messaged me, he liked my Facebook status today.
    Do you think continuing NC is best? and then what?

  5. Harriet

    April 10, 2014 at 1:39 pm

    Hi 🙂 where should I start?!! I want my ex boyfriend back, but after what I am about to tell you, you’ll more than likely think I am a complete idiot. Here it goes:
    We were together for 4 months, and i fell pretty quickly. When we first met I didn’t want a relationship and kept putting it off in my mind because I was afraid, because of previous relationship disasters. But he relentlessly presued me, and I mean “RELENTLESSLY”….would text me all the time, be charming, meet me from work, walk with me to work. But I made him wait, I thought “stop being an idiot. He seems different”…how wrong was I. So we went on a few dates and it just went so quickly before I knew it we were in a relationship. I met his 2 gorgeous kids 2 weeks in to the relationship and he told me he loved me 5 days in…I didn’t at that point but I eventually did fall madly inlove with him. Anyway, I had this amazing relationship with his kids and all his family, me and his mum still talk. Then suddenly 2 months in…I get a text saying “can we talk please, babe?” Frantically I call him, and he tells me he needs space to figure out what he wants. So I said I wouldn’t contact him. But he said “no, do. I’ll text and call you all the time.” He did…it got to the end of the week and I text him asking him to meet me. He did. We met and I said “make you’re decision. Do you, or do you not want to be with me?” He says yes and we went all nicely for 3 weeks….he surprises me by taking me to London for my birthday. But after the “break”…I started feeling differently and didn’t want him touching me as much and I had this odd feeling that he wasn’t being completely honest with me. But I put this down to me being paranoid. So we’re in London and he treats me so badly, starts taking his anger/frustration out on me etc…I just ignored him. Then the morning we were due to come back home. He leaves his phone in room whilst he showers, he gets a text. I thought it would be his mum asking what time were back as we were meeting her for lunch…but what I saw, stunned me. It was a vile text from a girl saying “wow. Your c**k is massive. Call me when you’re back from London with her. So you can w**k down the phone to me again!” I was stunned but stupidly I unlocked his phone and read the entire chain of texts…they were disgusting! Horrible vile texts, that only me and him should be exchanging. I made my decision it was over. Anyway I didn’t confront him till we got home. We got back to his and I packed up all of my things, I got a sense he knew what I was doing. I return home as he’s going away with his friends for the weekend. He kisses me bye and goes. His tenant calls me and I tell him what I’ve seen and that it’s over. I go out shopping and leave me phone at home. I get back to 21 missed calls and 5 texts from him saying “going to break up with me, when I’m back? Why wait?” “I take it’s over since you’re not responding. Ok. FINE”….I called him and told him what I found and how he’s hurt me, he put the blame on me and said I shouldn’t have gone on his phone. Bug neither of us would end it. I was so angry and upset that I told him to leave me alone, deleted him from Facebook, blocked his number and deleted his number. It was over :-(….at this point I’m a mess, crying, can’t eat, sleep. Nothing. He doesn’t even contact me till I run into him after work the Tuesday he was back. We start chatting and he apologises, tells me he regrets it and cries. I go to get my stuff back from his and he kept trying to get me to stay by asking if I wanted a coffee. I acted all happy and over it. The next day I return his things to him and spray then with his favourite perfume of mine, haha. But I wrote him a letter, explaining how he has hurt me etc…but I also offered him a second chance. The next I was walking to work and he run ahead to catch up to me. We chatted as if nothing had happened and were still comfortable around eachother. I told him I was out Friday night, he told me he was too. I wernt really but said it for effect. I asked him about the 2nd chance and he said “I don’t know, because the trust has got to be built again” I left it at that. Anyway Friday night comes round and I’m having a bath and he texts me saying “have a good night. No fighting if we bump into eachother ;-)” I ignore it. I wake up next morning to 2 missed calls and a text from him saying “did you have a good night?” I ignored it. He calls me about half 8, I answer and he asks how my night was, I made loads up and said “my legs hurt from wearing heals all night.” He replies with “I remember when I used to make your legs hurt.” Umm….reminiscing?? I laughed it off. Then that afternoon he texts me and says “William says hi”….I broke down as William is his little boy…I text back an hour later and say “hi little man. J, that really hurts.” He txt back “oh, I’m sorry it wasn’t supposed to.” I replied with “you knew it would” and he said “I’m really sorry.” So I text back “I think it’s best if we leave it now. You don’t want to take the 2nd chance I offered and it hurts knowing I won’t see you or the kids again. So unless you want to give us another go, please leave me alone.” He didn’t reply, then the next day….I was in town shopping and he comes walking by with his son and his son runs over to me, jumps into my arms and kisses my cheek. J, just watches us the entire time. His eyes looked really puffy and red. Crying? We said hi and then half an hour later he texts me and says “you’ve left a few things at mine.” At this point I don’t want to see him anymore…so I say “can you mail it to me, please?” He texts back and says “bugger that. I see you all the time, I’ll give it to you.” So I reply with “well I don’t want to see you anymore. Either mail it to me or get rid of it all”….at this point he becomes nasty and texts back in capitals “OK, FINE! I’ll bin it all” I say thankyou and then 10 mins later he texts and says “unless you want to meet Cal to get it all?” I txt back “no thankyou.” And he says “FINE!! I’ll bin it.” And that was 6 days ago….nothing between us since. I haven’t cried for 2 days and started feeling better…but I want him back. Am I an idiot?? Please help me by giving me the right advice!!!!

    1. admin

      April 11, 2014 at 4:04 am

      You are most certainly not an idiot.

      I hate it when people give others crap about wanting an ex back. There is nothing wrong with wanting an ex back. The heart wants what it wants.

      What I would say to you is that if you don’t think this ex can improve your life if you get him back he isn’t worth it.

  6. Kimberly

    April 10, 2014 at 1:47 am

    They were in the beginning til his sister walked in on us messing around..they always acted really jealous..I haven’t talked to him in almost two weeks now..and ge hasn’t contacted me either..idk what tobdo..Im doing my best to stay strong but its pretty hard..Idk what to do

    1. admin

      April 11, 2014 at 3:37 am

      Well, stay strong. I think right now you need to put more time into yourself as opposed to him and what his family is thinking.

  7. mizshel

    April 9, 2014 at 8:48 pm

    hi, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I feel some regret that I have lost NOC. My boyfriend broke up with me 2 years ago with no closure and for 2 years we have remain in contact. I still love him so whenever he texted me, I would reply.

    He will checked me out from time to time and still informs me on what he is up to. April 3, 2014 saw it on facebook he dated someone whereas, he just txted a week ago “Hi, are you home yet I passed by near your place on my home after going out with my friends.” I replied and said “no I am just hanging out with my friends” he replied again and told me that he is going home, conversation goes on then stopped. Next thing I know he was dating someone.

    I really felt stupid, and I’d say he’s a jerk but I still love him and want him back. I would want to try NOC but I do not know if too late to try.. 🙁

    Based on what I read I bet he now scared to contact me because he knows that by this time I have read the post.

    I would still want to get back with him but I do not want to act desperate especially now that he is seeing someone else. I just want him to realize that we were a good match if he is not that secretive and I am not too open..

    I would really appreciate your thought on this. Thanks again, I hope more people would come across this site and find some enlightenment that they need. As it has been mentioned above several times… “it’s not easy”.

  8. Nats

    April 9, 2014 at 2:04 am

    Hi Chris! My ex broke up with me 4 months ago. To make the story short he started texting me everyday like when we were together. I also showed up at my job and we went for coffe. I was so happy. The next day he invited me to his place and we slept together, he was sweet, we cuddle, etc. like a couple. But the next day I started to feel bad because I don’t want to be his FWB, so I told him. Then he said he wasn’t ready to try again, that he felt great with me but he is confused. I felt heart broken all over again 🙁 That was 8 days ago. I have not reach him out since then. Yesterday he texted me that he went to a place we always went together and that I missed me, I replied with a smiley and that was it.

    What do you think I should do? Keep NC? Wait till he contacts me?

    1. admin

      April 10, 2014 at 1:50 am

      Wait till he contacts you.

  9. Kimberly

    April 8, 2014 at 7:44 pm

    Well when I went up there met his family..it was all good for the first week…his mom and sister seemed jealous all his.attention was on me..and they don’t like sharing or not having his attention..they want all his attention focused on me..i was the first girlfriend..well things got kinda ugly when I was there and I got very hurt how I was treated by his mom and sister..so Wrote a letter..telling him how hurt I was and how I wanted to go home..(i really didn’t want to leave because I loved him)..but I felt like an outsider at the point..so after i handed him the letter..he disappeared outside..couldn’t find him for hours! I was crying he was crying..I kept texting him and he finally came back inside from the woods..he was so upset his eye were blood shot and tears were just pouring down his face…he took the letter as me telling him to pick me or.his family..and I wasnt..and hes still hurt over this letter..i ended up quiting my job and going back home been doing the long distance for a year now..his mom and i talked things out before i left and things were fine…went up there for thanksgiving and things were perfect! No problems nothing..when we did break up he said maybe something in the future just not now..of course i kept pushing it and hr would get upset..so i just dropped it we were talking like normal…and now i just cut him off..his friends have no idea we broke up..and our group of friends misses me..now he has broke up with me before and nobody ever knew..(hes also wanting me to get a job and save money and go see a dr because i have health problems wnothet reason we broke up because i wasnt taking care of the things i needed…now Iam) so not sure what to think

    1. admin

      April 10, 2014 at 1:39 am

      REally? His mom and sister weren’t happy for him?

  10. Kimberly

    April 8, 2014 at 6:36 pm

    My ex used to play baseball with my brother on his travel team, but him and I didn’t start talking until years after the baseball ended. We hung out for a few months, I went to visit him at school (He is a junior in college because he played minor league baseball for 3 years first, 25 years old) but I caught him texting another girl while I was there visiting him which put a lot of strain on us, I was upset & confused and all he said was “We weren’t together and I didn’t like you yet.” He then continued talking to this other girl because he “didn’t want to hurt her feelings” but told me that he knew that he never wanted to date her but that he was just trying to be nice. One thing led to another and he was still flirty with this girl which began in February and lasted until about September. He kept telling me lies so that he could do what he wanted at school. We spent the whole summer together, he basically lied to me the whole summer and I knew something was up but could not figure out what it was. Finally at the end of summer, I put everything together and realized that he had hooked up with this girl PREVIOUSLY before he met me and he didn’t want to tell me anything because he knew that I would worry about him going back to school where this girl goes, while I am 4 hours away at home. So I understand that. But we have had trust issues and freak outs and have been fighting for pretty much our entire relationship, granted there have been some REALLY good times along with some very bad also. I was on birth control and ended up having to go off of it because it was making me crazy. He is coming home in a month for 9 months to complete an internship but still has one more year of school left. We get along really well in person/when we are together but fight like CRAZY when we are apart. I have been rude, mean, degrading to him and push him to the point that he cannot take anything anymore and he broke up with me 2 days ago via text and then the phone saying that he’s known for awhile that he’s “not the right guy for me” and we’re “not compatible.” Also, he said I’m sorry for dragging this out so long, I’m not ready to be with anyone and u deserve someone who is.” And then also stated that it’s going to be “hard to come home for the next 9 months and not see me.” So he is all over the place resorting to saying that we need to stop and then saying something about a “break.” He comes home a month from today and will be home for 9 months. He is ignoring me like crazy so is there a chance that the NC rule can work or is he completely fed up with everything? We go from being good when we’re together to absolutely horrible when we’re apart with me questioning him and freaking out. Pleaseeeeeeeeee help. I am so incredibly upset and am scared he will never talk to me again. I texted him a TON of times and called him a ton of times the day he hung up on me after he broke things off.

    1. admin

      April 10, 2014 at 1:34 am

      You ought to read my latest guide. Seriously!

  11. Laura

    April 8, 2014 at 3:03 am

    I honestly cannot even tell if he is stubborn, angry, or acting like he is the victim. He seems like all of them so I don’t know what to do. I’m two and a half weeks into no contact and honestly I would be extremely surprised if he ever contacted me because of some arguments we had post-breakup. We were initially just taking a break but we had some unpleasant conversations about us and why we broke up.

    1. admin

      April 8, 2014 at 5:51 pm

      Well, it is possible for him to be a combo of them all. This is a human being we are talking about here and human beings are complicated.

  12. Rachel

    April 7, 2014 at 8:56 pm

    My ordeal might be a little different because i was in a LESBIAN relationship with a woman for 8 months . But there is not that many advice or takes on that, i assume that it is the same theory however. my EX GF is very stubborn domineering and thinks she knows it all as well. The past MONTH she has been going through some things she says very personal and stressful and we have been arguing as well. We were completely in Love before hand she told me i was the first person she really fell in love with and felt she needed , and she never felt like this. I felt the same way as well. Anyway we had trust issues towards the middle of the relationship because my ex had contacted me on Facebook and i told her me and her do not speak but she had read my FB and said she cant trust me. It was completely harmless but i did not want her to think anything was up well that backfired. Even when that happened we were working on things and getting passed that , shortly after those events we just started arguing back and forth here and there for 2 months off and on. We went on a trip for her Birthday we had an ok time regardless of the rain but by the end of the trip once again we had an argument, it was basically because i felt she was not showing me the same love and affection as before. She told me she loves me and care but does not feel the same connection with me. I feel it has a lot to do with the arguments and her own stress life because how an this happen so FAST. Do you think the No contact rule for a Month would be ideal for this situation? Our break up ended bad because i told her if she feels no connection then we should not be hanging out or anything and i was hurt and mad. It seemed she wanted me to be the one to prove it to her that its still there because she did mention that as well. Also our last conversation i got so angry and started insulting her and accused of her of getting closer with a friend she had relation with years ago that she talks to here and there. It went completely horrible, and i know i hurt her feelings . The things that i said were not true but i was so hurt i could only think of immediate satisfaction to help myself heal. Do you think i should give it time to subside a month or so before contacting her?

    1. admin

      April 8, 2014 at 5:33 pm

      Absolutely, time is an amazing thing when you let it work.

      Though, I understand it is very hard to give up control on the situation to time.

  13. Lucyemma

    April 7, 2014 at 6:35 pm

    My love for him is overwhelming I dropped my guard for him and twice he has done this to me I don’t know what goes through his head or whether he feels he’s made a mistake he’s still in love with me but he chose not to be with me. I’ve done the NC to him before it did work but something inside me is telling me it won’t work this time. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore I’m exhausted

  14. Shin

    April 7, 2014 at 5:41 am

    he broke up with me and his reason was because “he does not know who to love me like how he did in the beginning”. But personally i felt that he has taken me for granted when in a relationship because he mentioned that he was afraid of losing me and has confidence that I will always stay by his side no matter what. After some time of convincing him about the break up I decided to do the NC, currently I have been doing this for about 18 days, I was on a holiday with my family he contacted me a lot of times during the NC, but I tried not to reply, but he kept spamming my messages, asking me when will i be back from vacation and I got so fed up I just reply him briefly the about the date that i will be back, that’s it. I just did it so that he wont blow up my phone. on the day when I was on my way back to college from my hometown, he texted me, asking me to come meet him so that he could give me back my stuff which was left in his house. I did not respond to his text, he texted more messages ( about 8-10 messages ) and missed called me from the afternoon until at night. I was so worried my phone would eventually exploded but I was trying my best to be patient and pretend I didnt notice. He threatens me that he would throw my stuff away if i don’t pick up his call and we will no longer be friends thru those messages. he sounded so agitated. but i was determined and still havent reply him. what should i do ? should i continue NC ? would he reply me if i text him after the NC ? would he be so angry that he would give a damn about my text after NC? is NC the right thing to do? i feel so guilty and evil. I’m so confused.

    1. admin

      April 7, 2014 at 5:15 pm

      You can shorten your NC to 21 days. I talk about this in my latest updated HTGYEBG (how to get your ex back guide.)

    2. Shin

      April 7, 2014 at 6:03 am

      He even unfriended me on Facebook recently.

  15. Lucyemma

    April 6, 2014 at 8:19 pm

    I just don’t know what to do anymore or what’s for the best all this is too overwhelming and I guess I’m coming to you as are others in a hope to hear something positive to keep me holding on that something good will happen. I think maybe me and him have run it’s course and I’m sure he doesn’t think about me the way I do him. Thanks

    1. admin

      April 7, 2014 at 5:05 pm

      What specifically is overwhelming you?

  16. Bella

    April 6, 2014 at 1:56 pm

    Oh my… So. How do you deal with a guy thats been with you for four years in a relationship. Gets you pregnant, says hell be there for you no matter what, says he doesnt want to loose you… But the minute he tells his mom about it, he backs out?!….basically my exboyfriends mom is a psycho, has pretty much destroyed our relationship (well, seems more like my ex doesnt have a mind of his own) 2 weeks ago he texted me he was “done” and that same night his mom showed up at my house threatning me because i wouldnt have the abortion… I ignored him for two weeks. Aside from the frantic calls i got from him last tuesday. I told him ill get in touch with him next week so we can meet… How do you deal with someone that has oedipus complex? Or is basically controlled by his mother….

  17. Cate

    April 6, 2014 at 1:47 pm

    Hi Chris
    My relationship came to an end a week ago. My ex bf is in his cave and unable to cope with his divorce (they’ve been separated 3 yrs and he had a previous relationship to ours). Up until last Saturday he was telling me he loved me. Then on Sunday he didn’t want to see me as he had work to do, the divorce to attend to, and was having a hard day. He had been away prior to last weekend on business and it was unusual for him not to want me around when back (he travels a lot). Usually he always wanted me there even if he was working. I got angry via text and said point taken and that I couldn’t do this anymore but only because I was feeling rejected. I went round that evening and he looked so down and explained how much he misses not having his children with him more and the guilt he carries at breaking the family up. I have a wonderful relationship with his girls and we’ve always had so much fun together when they stay (most weekends). He said he couldn’t be in relationship anymore. Not a break but over? I understand he needs space to work through his stuff but why would he completely end this? We were so close and I’ve always been do supportive. Everything with us seemed so good. He treated me like a princess and madee feel very loved. I haven’t handled the break up well and been needy, done all the things I shouldn’t have. I’m starting NC tomorrow as already messed that up by emailing some photos over to him today, not of us but moments I had captured of his girls which he might like. He says he cares for me deeply and immediately after break up said he loves me but can’t cope. He doesn’t respond to anything I send. I get why. Do you think he will come back to me?

  18. Ammy

    April 6, 2014 at 1:36 pm

    After nc my ex ignored me what shall i do. He put up a quote on facebook saying ‘oh yes iv been hurt in the past but you can either run from it or learn from it’ on friday he put this quote up, i dont understand? Whats going on in his head

  19. Sophie

    April 5, 2014 at 11:38 pm

    Hi Chris, I really really need some help here!
    Me and my ex dated for 18-19 months, we had a great relationship we had loads of fun and felt like we had been together for years and years we were so comfortable with each other. Before we got together we met up and went on dates for 1-2 months but he was a friend of my sister for 7 years, so I briefly knew who he was and he told me he had liked me for over 3-4 years and told all his friends ‘I’m going to be with her one day’ after 14 months I could tell he had changed and he wasn’t as ‘nice’ or as romantic as he was from the start, I was lucky if I received one text a day, I built up the courage and confronted him about it, he told me for a few weeks he was insure of his feelings and didn’t know what he wanted, he told me to give him some space, but within three days he came back to me as said he wanted to be with me and make things work, then things were great better then they ever were and we were happy again, but four moths down the line I could tell something was wrong again, so again I confronted him, he told me he was under a lot of pressure with work, his hours would be going up to 60+ while he trains to become manager and said he thinks our relationship would suffer as he said it would be hard to make it work, even though I’m at uni so we see each other 1-2 times a week which we were both happy about and understood our circumstances, during the week we will skype, and talk on the phone I’d often get a text after saying he enjoyed our Skype or our talk, we were only an hour away from each other. I’m 21 now and he is 22 we got together just before my 20th birthday, we love each other very very much and I have always done everything and anything for him, his family and friends say that I am really good for him and it’s great how he can be himself around me, and that he would be a fool to let me go…he even told me himself I’m the best girlfriend he has ever had and could ever have, he said he doesn’t want anybody else and he hasn’t thrown anything away that I’ve gave to him and he said he won’t..so three weeks ago he breaks up with me which was a massive shock! It was so random and out of nowhere and part of me had no idea how he felt an that he thought about breaking up, I was devastated and still today I can’t stop crying, within two days I was hanging by his house waiting for him when he turned up he drove me back home we spoke for ten minutes he gave me a big hug as told me e needed a few weeks and he just wanted to be on his own, he told me he takes me for granted he knows I am always there for him and always buying him things and do everything to make him happy, he said every time he thinks about what he is doing to me he bursts out into tears, because he cannot give me the attention and love I deserve right now and says I have done nothing wrong I did everything right, but it doesn’t mean I can control his feelings ad I can’t expect him to feel the way I do, which is so strongly about him. So I didn’t talk to him for 5 days untill I gave in and told him I misses him…surprisingly he text me back telling me he misses me too…within a few days he text me asking to meet up as he was moving house and he would like me to go and see it he told me he loved me and missed me like crazy but couldn’t get back with me because he was still unsure of what he wanted, I went to see him, for the first few hours we had such a laugh it was like old times, then we spoke about things and I got really upset, he told me he can’t tell me he will ever get back with me but e also can’t tell me he will never want me again in time, so then we didn’t talk for a few more days untill I text him saying ‘I hope you have settled in nice now 🙂 love you and really missing you’ I never got a reply for a day or two untill I spoke to his mom who really wants us back together, and told her I wasn’t coping she told me it wasn’t fair on me and she was going to see him, I then got a text off him saying he is happy with the way he is atm for me to carry on coping the way I am and it’s best we don’t talk or see each other for a while, so I rang him and we spoke for half an hour the whole half an hour I was crying my eyes out on the phone, he kept telling me he was sorry that he won’t throw anything out and we will talk again soon, he said he’s expecting the odd text off me because he knows what I’m like but he told me that as harsh as he knows yet is he will have to ignore them for my own sake, I’ve spoke to a few people and they have told me just to give him time, he knows I would take him back like a shot, I’ve always done everything to show him how much I care and how much I love him he says he knows how much I love him he knows I care about him loads and he told me he couldn’t stay on the phone because it was hurting him and wasn’t helping either of us. I just feel like t ended over nothing and there is seriously SO much to lose we were amazing together, all of his friends, colleagues and family have said the same thing, the no contact rule is the HARDEST thing for me as all I’ve ever wanted is for him to talk to me more. I just wanted advice if I build up the courage to completely block him out…is there any chance he will want me back?

    1. Sophie

      April 7, 2014 at 6:03 pm

      If anybody could reply or help me out here I’d appreciate it, every morning and night I go into ‘panic mode’ and I generally don’t know how to cope in the morning or at night this is the hardest thing I have had to do he means the absolute world to me, and because there wasn’t any cheating on either side and he told me I have done nothin wrong j did everything right and treated him so well…it makes me more upset and more confused I don’t think he will ever want me back, I’m generally scared atm I don’t want to lose him forever

    2. admin

      April 8, 2014 at 5:28 pm

      Ok, deep breath.

      Right now, you need to get yourself out of panic mode. I know it may seem impossible but take it one moment at a time. What can you do to get out of panic mode? Lets put you back together first before your relationship.

    3. Sophie

      April 8, 2014 at 5:46 pm

      I am trying really hard, I’m keeping myself busy and making sure I stay around friends, even when studying we all study and do our work sitting together now which helps me out. I’m trying to move on…without moving on sometimes now I think ‘oh I don’t need him’ but I know that’s just me reacting in a anger way, I know deep down I just want us back together and I know it won’t happen straight away, I’m just scared it will never happen. He knows me talking to him is a massive thing for me and he expects me to send him texts which I will expect him to ignore so I’m finding all the will power I have to prove him wrong and for me not to message him in hope he will want me back when we meet up again in a month or two. I’m not desperate and I know I could find love again with somebody else in the future anybody can…I just don’t want to I know what I want and I want him I feel like I will never give up

    4. Sophie

      April 9, 2014 at 12:59 pm

      I want him back so so much :(( we did have some bad times and times where he never treated me right, but he means the absolute world to me and I’m so so scared he will never want me again and we will never talk again

    5. Sophie

      April 12, 2014 at 3:04 pm

      His mom text me last night saying she doesnt think we are totally done with each other yet, he lives and works opposite me I saw him today he didn’t see me I found it SO hard not to go up to him 🙁 a week NC…it’s hard 🙁

  20. Effy

    April 5, 2014 at 3:31 pm

    My boyfriend and I were having NC period almost 2 months.We had dated for 2 years.Before that he wanted to off the relationship but I advised him to rethink during NC period. Last 2 days, he told me that he wanted to break up as he preferred us to be a good friend. I asked him why, he said that his love towards me is fading away. He cou’t appreciate me no more and told me to find somebody else who can make me happier.He said that he felt lonely and think of me during NC period but he still decided to let go of me as he said our relationship was flat. He admitted that he stalked me on internet and read all my posts.The most shocking is he even checked my my timeline on wechat and line.He never did that before.He said that he proud of what had I achieved during our NC period(read books,start bussiness,got a job,being more positive) as he didn’t see those success while I was with him. Frankly speaking, I learned my lesson during NC and tried to change myself to be more optimist and read more books to understand guy. So,i kinda devastated when he still asked for break up. However he thanked me for everything and a potrait sketch that I sent it to him. He liked it very much and he said he smiled instantly after received that.Then,in the early morning after 2 days we break up,he texted me a picture of him and his family during her sister’s convo with a caption that he forgot to tell me that his sister’s graduation were last week.It was weird and confused.I replied his texts and he started to continue the conversation.Finally,the conversation ended with his smiley reply.In your opinion as a guy,do you think it is still not too late to get my boyfriend back and what about my chance to reignite his feelings toward me?I want to make him jealous but he once told me that he wouldn’t as he trusts me.Really hope and appreciate that you can throw your opinions to my case.Thanks.

    1. admin

      April 6, 2014 at 5:13 pm

      I think there is a chance. But don’t let that make you think you are a shoe in to get him back. The fact of the matter is that the ultimate decision on whether or not to be in a relationship is up to you and all the you can do is influence that decision.

      But you have a shot yes.

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