The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule- What Is He Thinking?

4,280 thoughts on “The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule”

Haha32

April 15, 2014 at 3:52 pm

I broke up with my boyfriend simply he pushed me to do so cuz apparently he was denying that he was thinking of a break up due to distance we had. He cried a lot when I said let’s break up and he said he has hopes and he doesn’t wanna lose me. But suddenly on skype he said he doesn’t see me in his future because we are two different personalities. That got me super sad. We talked one last time after break-up and talked about our feelings and thought it was a mutual break-up to pursue our own individual dreams and careers. I sent him couple crazy texts before the last talk simply I got a gift package from him and a love letter he sent 4 days before we broke up but I got them after we did. So I said in my texts maybe we are rushing and maybe we should give a second chance because I cant believe everything changed from love letter to’not seeing me in his future’ in 4 days. Anyways, in skype and in an email he said, he thinks it is the right decision because neither his feelings nor distance shows t will work out. I am totally clueless what he meant exactly when I think of all the things happened. Anyways, we are in no contact rule since 10 days and I have no urge to call him and whenever I think of him I either go out, read something or write journal to suppress my urge. I believe I can do no contact rule but I am wondering how it affects him in 30 days and if he doesn’t write me at all (should I take the first step?) I want him in the mornings, it is becoming really hard sometimes during the day without skyping with him or his texts, but sometimes I don’t even think of him. I am not sure but I guess I want him back. Anyways. During no contact rule it is his mother’s birthday, and I am planning to send her a text. Should I do that? Or leave it? Does it break NC rule? Please give me some hints.Thanks

Haha32

April 19, 2014 at 9:54 pm

SOMEONE PLEASE ANSWER ME!
admin

April 20, 2014 at 3:49 am

I am here!!! Whats up?
Haha32

April 21, 2014 at 1:00 am

I just need an answer if I should talk to his mother or not to celebrate the bday. I had talked to his sister and his best friend after we split but i am not sure if i should stop contacting his family or friends totally for no contact rule. it has been more than two weeks i have no info or contact from him. and honestly i miss him terribly but just remembering good days. I dont need him to live, but would be nice to have him. not sure of my feelings. am i still in shock? or what? i dont wanna accept that i am better off without him. why can i not accept my true feelings and deny them?(this is my first time almost admitting… and not to myself but to a stranger(
admin

April 21, 2014 at 4:07 pm

You can talk to his mother its just him you don’t want to talk to during NC.

Jane

April 15, 2014 at 12:55 pm

My ex boyfriend broke up with me June 2013 while he living out of the country for half a year. Right after he broke up with me, he cut all ties completely with me. I tried messaging and tried talking to him but I never got a response. I finally gave up all attempts at communicating with him. Weeks went by and I finally heard something from him. I had bought a plane ticket to surprise him for our anniversary but didn’t let him know this during the time we were together nor while or after he was breaking up with me. He must have found out through friends that I was still deciding to go and visit the country but that I was going to do it on my own and without letting him know. Once he found this out, he decided to have something to do with me again and wanted to share the experience with me and after a couple of weeks of talking to one another, I decided to give in and allow him and I to spend my vacation together, even though we technically still were not together. The 7 weeks I was there, it was amazing and that was the best times we had ever shared with each other in the 2 years that we had been together. We didn’t argue, we didn’t fight, and the problems that had been present before, didn’t seem to have been any issue while I was there. His reasoning behind breaking up with me was because he had felt that he needed to find himself and to try and figure out his future and his own life; to find his own way I guess you could say because he felt like he couldn’t do that while being in a relationship. He wanted his space, he wanted his freedom, and he just wanted to be himself without any obligations or responsibilities that come along in a relationship. Once I left the country, things got shaky afterwards and we started to drift apart. He finally moved back home two weeks after I left but everything was different and everything had changed. He became increasingly distant and withdrawn and even though he wanted to still see and talk to me, he still didn’t want to have a relationship with me. Of course, after all the times that we had just shared with each other, I fought against it. Then I just finally gave up and quick communicating and removed myself out of his life for a few weeks. He tried calling, texting, and making plans with me, but I ignored every attempt. After a few weeks of trying on his part, he ended up showing at my house because he wanted to talk to me. I let him in where he decided to pour out his heart to me and tell me how much he loved me, how much he missed me, and how he wanted to spend more time with me. I was a bit hesitant because of what previously happened but I decided to give it a shot and take things slowly, or at least I thought I would. As the weeks progressed, we started spending more and more time together. He started being loving, affectionate, compassionate, and doing many things for me. We were finally starting to rekindle the romance between each other that had once been there. Things had finally started looking up and I was remaining positive until one day I had found out that him and a girl from his past (ex fling) had had a conversation between each other, which he did tell me about. I respected him telling me the truth but I always had this inclination that there was always more than just a “fling” between them two. I know I should have kept my cool but I couldn’t control the jealousy and insecurities that had decided to show up. I knew that because we technically had not made it official that we were back together, that at any moment in time, he could do whatever he wanted to do and there would be nothing wrong with that. That incident had caused problems between us but we were able to move past that and continue to move forward with each other. A couple of months had gone by and I hadn’t brought up the relationship talk and we started getting along and things seemed to have been going fine, or so I had thought. Once again the romance, the affection, the love, the time spent together had increased. A couple of nights ago, after a great weekend with each other, he sat me down and told me that we needed to talk. He told me that even though he loves me very much and deeply cares about me, that he is no longer “in love” with me anymore and that his feelings have changed for me. He told me that he considers me to be his best friend but that he doesn’t see me as anything more than that anymore. He said he still wants to be friends and still wants to spend time with me and hang out, but that he was tired of having a “psuedo-relationship” because being in a relationship wasn’t something that he still wanted. He still felt like he needed to venture out into the world to find himself and create a prosper future for himself and as long as we were together or acting like we were together, he wouldn’t be able to truly find himself and individuality.
So this is where I am stuck. I have no idea what to do anymore and I haven’t made contact with him since this incident occurred. He did message me yesterday but I ignored it and didn’t receive anything else from him for the remaining day and night. I still love him very much and I still want us to be together again one day and work things out but of course, it has to be a two way street. What I am left sitting here wondering, is if it is too late for things to be rekindled between him and I or if I should just let him go and move on? And will the ‘No Contact Rule” work in a situation like this? I know it is possible for people’s feelings to come and go and I know it is possible for people to fall back in love with one another but I don’t know the right way in going about mending things. If you could please give me some insight and some help, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
astronaut18

April 15, 2014 at 8:28 am

Hey Chris,
im an avid reader of your site coz its given me all the encouragement to push harder with NC..and its been goin gr8. currently at day28.. my exbf texted me twice..one on day 26 (sayin hello and how was i doin)and on day 27 (which was weird bcoz we ran into each other but he didnt see me SEE him) but he texted me (2nd time) that he saw mw.
i didnt reply at all.. coz im still in NC..and im scared if i ignore and he will think that ive moved on and he forgets me or if i reply even when NC is over..im givin my cards up too easy and too soon? and i think about the “what now” after ive replied… takin it he is extremely stubborn (it shows)..i didnt expext him to text the 2nd time after me not replyin 2 d 1st one.

im confused..but im glad ur site has made me strong with NC. please help me. thx
Jennifer

April 15, 2014 at 6:51 am

He broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. He told me he wasn’t going to date anyone and that there was no one else. Since then, I have been maintaining NC. I have been hanging out with my family and friends, improving myself, exercising, and even went on one date. A friend of mine suggested that I add an app called Tinder, which allows you to “like” other people. If the other person also likes you back, you can message with them. Anyway, the reason for me adding this app was to get my mind off my ex. I actually freaked out when I found out that my ex was using this app, when I saw his picture on Tinder, and that he had logged in a few hours before! Why would he be using Tinder, especially after only 2 weeks of breaking up with me? Has he moved on?
Taylor

April 15, 2014 at 3:43 am

I feel my situation is a little different in that I was never in a relationship with this guy to begin with. He would keep saying we were “friends” even though his actions spoke of more than that. I had feelings for him, and on more than one occasion, I told him the truth about how I felt. But he would always respond and say we were “just friends” and continue flirting with me. I finally told him last week that it was too hard for me to be around him when I had feelings for him and he claimed not to even though everything else screamed that he did. So I’ve placed distance between us and it is now my 8th day of the “no contact” rule. I’m doing relatively well. I just wonder about this particular situation….he never wanted to commit in the first place, so how does the “no contact” rule work in a situation like this? Does he even care? Since I am just his “friend,” maybe he doesn’t even care that I have initiated the “no contact rule.” He is also a very stubborn person so I wouldn’t be surprised if he never contacts me. What do you think he is thinking?
Lisa Robbins

April 14, 2014 at 7:30 pm

Please help. Over 4 years together, 6 months engaged, wonderful relationship, sensitive guy, fought but not big time, he said I was negative and I am a med students so I have been stressed a lot. I constantly insulted myself, so yes “how can he love me if I can’t love myself” bs. He left and I texted for 2 days desperately, then I managed radio silence till he came to pick up his stuff a week and half later. I knew no contact was the right thing but when he left I felt he was gone for good and I left a kind note when he came and picked up his things from our shared apartment, he responded with a kind text. Then I responded to the text with an angry one-liner “I don’t know who you are. Goodbye” Now I know I can pull off no contact, but really at this point is he gone? He says he needs space but he didn’t take just an overnight bag, he came by and got everything. I feel like we had a rough 2 months but he may come around and realize we had it all. Any chance in a couple months I will hear from him. I am just trying to get on with my life now but still… oh but still…
Kaliahs momma

April 14, 2014 at 6:32 pm

My boyfriend and I were together for 2years. I got pregnant 3 months into our relationship and miscarried at10 weeks almost exactly a year later we became pregnant again. He went to every appointment and was excited to be a father again, he has 4 other kids with 2 exs he isn’t able to see, well 6weeks before or daughters due date he broke up with me, said he’d been holding on to things from my past that he can’t shake and that I want marriage etc, and he didn’t so he feels bs holding me back. And that I deserve better. Well I moved to Texas to give him space to really think about what he said, and he’s still in phoenix, with our dog. I have been trying NC and failing. We’ve lived together since day1 playing house, and he calls or texts about his the baby due any moment now , calls about our dog and finances , documents… It’s always something. I was playing wifey with all responsibilities, and I want my daughter’s father back, I don’t want to bring her into this world with a broken family. He’s stubborn every thing he says it’s right even when it’s obviously not. But with baby in the way and him having our dog. I don’t know how to do NC without him feeling left out of our daughters life, ps he still paying our car note instead and cell plus I still have access to our joint account. I fear to much NC and he’ll stop helping. Advice????

admin

April 15, 2014 at 4:10 pm

Have you read: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/get-your-boyfriend-back-if-you-have-a-child-together/

Maxine

April 14, 2014 at 4:19 am

My ex texted me one evening just after the NC period “just to see how I am doing”. When I responded the next afternoon saying “I am doing fine, and you?” he never responded back.

Why would he do this?

admin

April 14, 2014 at 5:36 pm

Probably to test to see if youd respond.

Sophie

April 13, 2014 at 8:47 pm

I don’t even know what to do anymore been broken up a month today 🙁 the first three weeks I tried begging for him back but now I haven’t spoke to him for 8 days an applying the no contact rule but every single day through this month I have cried my eyes out 🙁 I know he is expecting me to text him but I know I can’t 🙁

admin

April 14, 2014 at 5:20 pm

Just finish out the NC.

But the problem right now is actually you. You need to get yourself back on track. Put yourself in the right mindset to get him back.
Sophie

April 14, 2014 at 5:27 pm

I will. I’m going to try my best I hope it works 🙁
Sophie

April 15, 2014 at 3:31 pm

Chris!! I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your website and all the effort you have gone through! As you could tell I’ve been a bit of a desperate MESS! but after listening to what you have said and reading…pretty much EVERY page on here (how sad!!) haha I’ve realised…I’ve decided I’m not going to contact him. He broke up with me and right now he doesn’t want to talk to me he wants his space. If he wants to talk to me he has my number he knows I love him and he knows how much I want us to work out but I’m not doing the chasing anymore. Of course I still want to be with him but it’s not happening right now and he may not ever want it again, so I need to learn to live without him I’m even looking to go to Paris soon as I’ve always wanted to go there 🙂 I always wanted to go with Stefan but looks unlikely now lol I hope he changes his mind but I can’t hold onto that I HAVEEEEE to give him his space, it’s hard but hey I’ve already gone ten days, I’m sure I can stick it out! 🙂

Joanne

April 11, 2014 at 11:14 am

The guy I was dating was a few years older than I am. And he has been divorce (his wife cheated on him and left him) couple years ago and he hasn’t had a relationship since. I’m sure he was with other women physically and the last girl he was with was a rebound he told me it was more a friend ship based relationship and then I come into the picture and I am the girl he grew feeling for but was still scared to get in a relationship he “wasn’t ready” and he was busy with work all the time and couldn’t devote more time for me that i deserved so he broke it off with me cause he couldn’t be boyfriend and girlfriend like I wanted and still wanted to see me after the break up but not in a relationship. I begged him and begged him to be back with me the way we were and we could fix the problems we had but he still wouldn’t budge. We’ve been broken up for two months now and every week since our break we’ve talked at least once a week or more because I would always communicate with him first. I unfollowed him on my social media and asked him to do the same but he said he wouldn’t unfollow me and he didn’t want this bridge to burn and he wants to be with me in the future when he is ready. Then finally 2.5 weeks ago I finally blocked him so he couldn’t see my posts anymore and I told myself I wouldn’t contact him anymore first unless he makes the move. And I’m still going strong on it. But he hasn’t reached out to me yet. And Im wondering if there’s a chance he will. How long will it take for him to reach out to me?

admin

April 12, 2014 at 3:50 pm

The being cheated on by his wife created some bad trust issues.

uncas4444

April 10, 2014 at 5:24 pm

So I ended things with a guy I was dating for two months. That was exactly 30 days ago (yippee! that I made it to this goal). But I can’t stop thinking about him. I ended things with him because while we were together, he kept on telling me that he wasn’t ready for a relationship (we met in January and he had ended a 4-year toxic relationship in November and still isn’t healed) although his behavior showed me otherwise (was constantly inviting me to things with his friends, introduced me to his family, etc.) My default was to give him a lot of space but I was getting tired of being so patient. Around his birthday he asked me to come up to the city with him to celebrate, and I met his brother and cousins and he met my sister. It was an amazing weekend. Well he came back and he ended up going on a date with someone else and making out with her. I ended it as soon as I found out, also because after that weekend he had checked out and seemed disinterested. I’ve blocked him this entire time. I have unblocked his phone during moments of weakness. I am doing another 30 days NC because I feel way too emotional to reach out to him. Everyone tells me to just forget him and move on. And I am…kinda. In the back of my mind I want him to come back to me. But he’s the “scared guy” because I broke up with him and told him to never contact me. Coupled with the fact that I’ve blocked him. What should I do? Should I unblock him? Should I just keep moving on? Another 30 day of NC. I told myself after another 30 days, I was going to write him a letter. What to do?
carmen

April 10, 2014 at 3:14 pm

i broke up with my boyfriend of three months four days ago. he told me no hard feelings, and that he would be open to being friends, but he wanted a 2 week no contact rule. our young relationship has always been stormy, and after our short honeymoon period we were on again, off again, and lots of times i wondered if i even liked him. but i wonder if we could work it out, because i do care deeply for him (i know this does not necessarily mean we should be together, but i’d like to try again, at least at this juncture.)

i was doing well with no contact until a weak moment today, when i texted him that i cared deeply for him and wanted him to know that, just in case anything should happen to us during our no contact period (i’m a “don’t go to bed angry” kind of thinker, and i did break up with him.) i am planning on keeping no contact until i hear from him, but i wonder if i lost my chance at reconciling because i gave in. thoughts?
Sian

April 10, 2014 at 2:39 pm

Me and my ex were together a few months and then broke up for the college holidays.
We talked, flirted etc. through this time.
Once we got back (a few months later) we started dating i guess you could say (seeing each other).
It was very on and off for a bit and just as i thought it would get somewhere, then suddenly it wouldn’t. This was usually because i pushed the relationship too fast and dwelled on getting back together when he was taking it slow.
Currently we are in a very “off” stage.
We talked since I last saw him and he said that “push him away so much” because of everything i dwell on.
He said he “needs space”.
I have currently gone NC (he is back at his home for 2 weeks anyway). Even though he was very angry last time he messaged me, he liked my Facebook status today.
Do you think continuing NC is best? and then what?
Harriet

April 10, 2014 at 1:39 pm

Hi 🙂 where should I start?!! I want my ex boyfriend back, but after what I am about to tell you, you’ll more than likely think I am a complete idiot. Here it goes:
We were together for 4 months, and i fell pretty quickly. When we first met I didn’t want a relationship and kept putting it off in my mind because I was afraid, because of previous relationship disasters. But he relentlessly presued me, and I mean “RELENTLESSLY”….would text me all the time, be charming, meet me from work, walk with me to work. But I made him wait, I thought “stop being an idiot. He seems different”…how wrong was I. So we went on a few dates and it just went so quickly before I knew it we were in a relationship. I met his 2 gorgeous kids 2 weeks in to the relationship and he told me he loved me 5 days in…I didn’t at that point but I eventually did fall madly inlove with him. Anyway, I had this amazing relationship with his kids and all his family, me and his mum still talk. Then suddenly 2 months in…I get a text saying “can we talk please, babe?” Frantically I call him, and he tells me he needs space to figure out what he wants. So I said I wouldn’t contact him. But he said “no, do. I’ll text and call you all the time.” He did…it got to the end of the week and I text him asking him to meet me. He did. We met and I said “make you’re decision. Do you, or do you not want to be with me?” He says yes and we went all nicely for 3 weeks….he surprises me by taking me to London for my birthday. But after the “break”…I started feeling differently and didn’t want him touching me as much and I had this odd feeling that he wasn’t being completely honest with me. But I put this down to me being paranoid. So we’re in London and he treats me so badly, starts taking his anger/frustration out on me etc…I just ignored him. Then the morning we were due to come back home. He leaves his phone in room whilst he showers, he gets a text. I thought it would be his mum asking what time were back as we were meeting her for lunch…but what I saw, stunned me. It was a vile text from a girl saying “wow. Your c**k is massive. Call me when you’re back from London with her. So you can w**k down the phone to me again!” I was stunned but stupidly I unlocked his phone and read the entire chain of texts…they were disgusting! Horrible vile texts, that only me and him should be exchanging. I made my decision it was over. Anyway I didn’t confront him till we got home. We got back to his and I packed up all of my things, I got a sense he knew what I was doing. I return home as he’s going away with his friends for the weekend. He kisses me bye and goes. His tenant calls me and I tell him what I’ve seen and that it’s over. I go out shopping and leave me phone at home. I get back to 21 missed calls and 5 texts from him saying “going to break up with me, when I’m back? Why wait?” “I take it’s over since you’re not responding. Ok. FINE”….I called him and told him what I found and how he’s hurt me, he put the blame on me and said I shouldn’t have gone on his phone. Bug neither of us would end it. I was so angry and upset that I told him to leave me alone, deleted him from Facebook, blocked his number and deleted his number. It was over :-(….at this point I’m a mess, crying, can’t eat, sleep. Nothing. He doesn’t even contact me till I run into him after work the Tuesday he was back. We start chatting and he apologises, tells me he regrets it and cries. I go to get my stuff back from his and he kept trying to get me to stay by asking if I wanted a coffee. I acted all happy and over it. The next day I return his things to him and spray then with his favourite perfume of mine, haha. But I wrote him a letter, explaining how he has hurt me etc…but I also offered him a second chance. The next I was walking to work and he run ahead to catch up to me. We chatted as if nothing had happened and were still comfortable around eachother. I told him I was out Friday night, he told me he was too. I wernt really but said it for effect. I asked him about the 2nd chance and he said “I don’t know, because the trust has got to be built again” I left it at that. Anyway Friday night comes round and I’m having a bath and he texts me saying “have a good night. No fighting if we bump into eachother ;-)” I ignore it. I wake up next morning to 2 missed calls and a text from him saying “did you have a good night?” I ignored it. He calls me about half 8, I answer and he asks how my night was, I made loads up and said “my legs hurt from wearing heals all night.” He replies with “I remember when I used to make your legs hurt.” Umm….reminiscing?? I laughed it off. Then that afternoon he texts me and says “William says hi”….I broke down as William is his little boy…I text back an hour later and say “hi little man. J, that really hurts.” He txt back “oh, I’m sorry it wasn’t supposed to.” I replied with “you knew it would” and he said “I’m really sorry.” So I text back “I think it’s best if we leave it now. You don’t want to take the 2nd chance I offered and it hurts knowing I won’t see you or the kids again. So unless you want to give us another go, please leave me alone.” He didn’t reply, then the next day….I was in town shopping and he comes walking by with his son and his son runs over to me, jumps into my arms and kisses my cheek. J, just watches us the entire time. His eyes looked really puffy and red. Crying? We said hi and then half an hour later he texts me and says “you’ve left a few things at mine.” At this point I don’t want to see him anymore…so I say “can you mail it to me, please?” He texts back and says “bugger that. I see you all the time, I’ll give it to you.” So I reply with “well I don’t want to see you anymore. Either mail it to me or get rid of it all”….at this point he becomes nasty and texts back in capitals “OK, FINE! I’ll bin it all” I say thankyou and then 10 mins later he texts and says “unless you want to meet Cal to get it all?” I txt back “no thankyou.” And he says “FINE!! I’ll bin it.” And that was 6 days ago….nothing between us since. I haven’t cried for 2 days and started feeling better…but I want him back. Am I an idiot?? Please help me by giving me the right advice!!!!

admin

April 11, 2014 at 4:04 am

You are most certainly not an idiot.

I hate it when people give others crap about wanting an ex back. There is nothing wrong with wanting an ex back. The heart wants what it wants.

What I would say to you is that if you don’t think this ex can improve your life if you get him back he isn’t worth it.

Kimberly

April 10, 2014 at 1:47 am

They were in the beginning til his sister walked in on us messing around..they always acted really jealous..I haven’t talked to him in almost two weeks now..and ge hasn’t contacted me either..idk what tobdo..Im doing my best to stay strong but its pretty hard..Idk what to do

admin

April 11, 2014 at 3:37 am

Well, stay strong. I think right now you need to put more time into yourself as opposed to him and what his family is thinking.

mizshel

April 9, 2014 at 8:48 pm

hi, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I feel some regret that I have lost NOC. My boyfriend broke up with me 2 years ago with no closure and for 2 years we have remain in contact. I still love him so whenever he texted me, I would reply.

He will checked me out from time to time and still informs me on what he is up to. April 3, 2014 saw it on facebook he dated someone whereas, he just txted a week ago “Hi, are you home yet I passed by near your place on my home after going out with my friends.” I replied and said “no I am just hanging out with my friends” he replied again and told me that he is going home, conversation goes on then stopped. Next thing I know he was dating someone.

I really felt stupid, and I’d say he’s a jerk but I still love him and want him back. I would want to try NOC but I do not know if too late to try.. 🙁

Based on what I read I bet he now scared to contact me because he knows that by this time I have read the post.

I would still want to get back with him but I do not want to act desperate especially now that he is seeing someone else. I just want him to realize that we were a good match if he is not that secretive and I am not too open..

I would really appreciate your thought on this. Thanks again, I hope more people would come across this site and find some enlightenment that they need. As it has been mentioned above several times… “it’s not easy”.
Nats

April 9, 2014 at 2:04 am

Hi Chris! My ex broke up with me 4 months ago. To make the story short he started texting me everyday like when we were together. I also showed up at my job and we went for coffe. I was so happy. The next day he invited me to his place and we slept together, he was sweet, we cuddle, etc. like a couple. But the next day I started to feel bad because I don’t want to be his FWB, so I told him. Then he said he wasn’t ready to try again, that he felt great with me but he is confused. I felt heart broken all over again 🙁 That was 8 days ago. I have not reach him out since then. Yesterday he texted me that he went to a place we always went together and that I missed me, I replied with a smiley and that was it.

What do you think I should do? Keep NC? Wait till he contacts me?

admin

April 10, 2014 at 1:50 am

Wait till he contacts you.

Kimberly

April 8, 2014 at 7:44 pm

Well when I went up there met his family..it was all good for the first week…his mom and sister seemed jealous all his.attention was on me..and they don’t like sharing or not having his attention..they want all his attention focused on me..i was the first girlfriend..well things got kinda ugly when I was there and I got very hurt how I was treated by his mom and sister..so Wrote a letter..telling him how hurt I was and how I wanted to go home..(i really didn’t want to leave because I loved him)..but I felt like an outsider at the point..so after i handed him the letter..he disappeared outside..couldn’t find him for hours! I was crying he was crying..I kept texting him and he finally came back inside from the woods..he was so upset his eye were blood shot and tears were just pouring down his face…he took the letter as me telling him to pick me or.his family..and I wasnt..and hes still hurt over this letter..i ended up quiting my job and going back home been doing the long distance for a year now..his mom and i talked things out before i left and things were fine…went up there for thanksgiving and things were perfect! No problems nothing..when we did break up he said maybe something in the future just not now..of course i kept pushing it and hr would get upset..so i just dropped it we were talking like normal…and now i just cut him off..his friends have no idea we broke up..and our group of friends misses me..now he has broke up with me before and nobody ever knew..(hes also wanting me to get a job and save money and go see a dr because i have health problems wnothet reason we broke up because i wasnt taking care of the things i needed…now Iam) so not sure what to think

admin

April 10, 2014 at 1:39 am

REally? His mom and sister weren’t happy for him?

Kimberly

April 8, 2014 at 6:36 pm

My ex used to play baseball with my brother on his travel team, but him and I didn’t start talking until years after the baseball ended. We hung out for a few months, I went to visit him at school (He is a junior in college because he played minor league baseball for 3 years first, 25 years old) but I caught him texting another girl while I was there visiting him which put a lot of strain on us, I was upset & confused and all he said was “We weren’t together and I didn’t like you yet.” He then continued talking to this other girl because he “didn’t want to hurt her feelings” but told me that he knew that he never wanted to date her but that he was just trying to be nice. One thing led to another and he was still flirty with this girl which began in February and lasted until about September. He kept telling me lies so that he could do what he wanted at school. We spent the whole summer together, he basically lied to me the whole summer and I knew something was up but could not figure out what it was. Finally at the end of summer, I put everything together and realized that he had hooked up with this girl PREVIOUSLY before he met me and he didn’t want to tell me anything because he knew that I would worry about him going back to school where this girl goes, while I am 4 hours away at home. So I understand that. But we have had trust issues and freak outs and have been fighting for pretty much our entire relationship, granted there have been some REALLY good times along with some very bad also. I was on birth control and ended up having to go off of it because it was making me crazy. He is coming home in a month for 9 months to complete an internship but still has one more year of school left. We get along really well in person/when we are together but fight like CRAZY when we are apart. I have been rude, mean, degrading to him and push him to the point that he cannot take anything anymore and he broke up with me 2 days ago via text and then the phone saying that he’s known for awhile that he’s “not the right guy for me” and we’re “not compatible.” Also, he said I’m sorry for dragging this out so long, I’m not ready to be with anyone and u deserve someone who is.” And then also stated that it’s going to be “hard to come home for the next 9 months and not see me.” So he is all over the place resorting to saying that we need to stop and then saying something about a “break.” He comes home a month from today and will be home for 9 months. He is ignoring me like crazy so is there a chance that the NC rule can work or is he completely fed up with everything? We go from being good when we’re together to absolutely horrible when we’re apart with me questioning him and freaking out. Pleaseeeeeeeeee help. I am so incredibly upset and am scared he will never talk to me again. I texted him a TON of times and called him a ton of times the day he hung up on me after he broke things off.

admin

April 10, 2014 at 1:34 am

You ought to read my latest guide. Seriously!

Laura

April 8, 2014 at 3:03 am

I honestly cannot even tell if he is stubborn, angry, or acting like he is the victim. He seems like all of them so I don’t know what to do. I’m two and a half weeks into no contact and honestly I would be extremely surprised if he ever contacted me because of some arguments we had post-breakup. We were initially just taking a break but we had some unpleasant conversations about us and why we broke up.

admin

April 8, 2014 at 5:51 pm

Well, it is possible for him to be a combo of them all. This is a human being we are talking about here and human beings are complicated.

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