This is a complete breakdown of how to react when someone blocks you.
In this article, I will provide tips on how to react when someone blocks you and address the issue head-on.
- Do’s and don’ts of being blocked
- The psychology behind blocking someone
- How to move forward after being blocked
- If you should be reaching out to the person who blocked you
Now we’ve got that covered; let’s get to it!
Exactly How To React When Someone Blocks You
Many of our clients here at Ex-Boyfriend Recovery often ask us, “How do I react when someone blocks me?” or “My boyfriend blocked me. Now what?”
As our founder, Chris Seiter, mentioned in one of his famous blogs—“No Response Can Still Be A Response,”
Even though the person may not be responding, their actions are still a response that should not be ignored.
The best way to handle someone blocking you is with respect and maturity.
It may not sound easy since the feeling of being disrespected can be overwhelming, and you might feel like retaliating. But that won’t make the situation better or resolve anything.
Instead, here are a few Do’s and Don’ts to consider when someone blocks you:
- Take some time to process your emotions
It’s perfectly normal to feel hurt when someone blocks you. Give yourself time and space to process your emotions and make sense of the situation.
It can be hard to understand why the person blocked you, but it’s important to remember that no one but you can destroy your internal peace.
Cliche, I know, but consider for a moment the words of Ziad K. Abdelnour (author of Economic Welfare),
“If someone is going out of their way to ignore you, they often aren’t ignoring you; they are obsessed with you.”
- Acknowledge your feelings and try to understand why the other person might have blocked you
After some time, try to understand why the other person blocked you.
I know it’s not something you can figure out overnight, but it’s essential to ask yourself questions like:
- Did I do something to hurt them?
- Was I too pushy in how I handled the situation?
- Did I misinterpret something?
Some of the common general reasons we see our clients getting blocked include,
- Stalking or unwanted attention: If someone is receiving unwanted attention from a person, they may choose to block their number to create distance and boundaries.
- Ending a relationship: When a romantic relationship ends, one or both parties may choose to block each other’s numbers to facilitate healing and move on.
- Avoiding confrontation: Sometimes, people block someone’s number to avoid a difficult or uncomfortable conversation.
(Later in this article, I’m going to cite research from Chris Seiter that adds a few more to this list.)
Remember, while you’re thinking of situations where you must’ve wronged the person, it’s also possible that they’ve had some issues of their own.
With hardcore avoidants, there’s a bit of a lone wolf approach to their lives. They often prefer to be alone if you are familiar with our “death wheel.”
You’d see that in relationships with these individuals, they are often LOOKING for something to be wrong, for some way out.
Don’t take all the blame on yourself.
- Take a step back and try to think about the situation objectively
It’s best to take a moment and think about it through a wide-angle lens.
Don’t think from a narrow point of view and only focus on what you did wrong, but also try to look at it from the other person’s perspective.
According to psychologist Ethan Kross,
“The best way to move ahead emotionally is to analyze one’s feelings from a psychologically distanced perspective.”
He adds, “We aren’t very good at analyzing our feelings to make ourselves feel better.”
If you only look at the situation from your point of view, there’s a higher chance you’ll stay stuck and angry.
Be the bigger person, as they say.
- Don’t jump to conclusions
Face it; it’s easier to blame yourself for a situation than to try and understand why the other person might have blocked you.
“Maybe I said something wrong” or “I must have done something to upset them” are the kind of thoughts that can haunt you for years to come.
Instead, be kind and compassionate to yourself.
We get how it feels when someone blocks you, but most of the time, the situation isn’t as black and white as we may think.
- Don’t rush into sending a message or trying to talk to them
It’s only natural to want to know what’s wrong but wait to try and reach out.
Here’s what a client had to say during one of our founders, Chris Seiter’s famous success story interviews,
The old me would have lost my mind and would have been like, geez-louise come on, you know, we just talked for two or three days before the blocking. Where are you? The new me was like, you need some space right now.
Instead of begging or trying to prove her innocence, she took a step back and gave the other person some space.
That changes the whole game, and guess what?
Her ex came back and blew up her phone.
Once again, citing our founder, Chris Seiter,
When they pull back, you pull back!
And yes, that applies to being blocked as well.
- Don’t become obsessed with understanding the situation
Above, I mentioned taking a step back and understanding the situation; you might have thought,
“Ya, but I still want to know why the dude blocked me.”
But don’t become too obsessed with understanding the situation because, in the end, those are just assumptions you have in mind.
As I mentioned above, there are many reasons why someone might block you. So, instead of obsessing over the situation, focus on how you can move forward and improve your life.
At the end of the day, all that matters is how you handle the situation.
What is the Psychology Behind Blocking Someone?
In a podcast episode by Chris Seiter, he talks about “The Psychology Behind Blocking An Ex.”
He introduces this concept of “The Core Four,” which makes people take drastic actions like blocking someone.
Here’s a summary of it:
- The Attempt To Forget: One of the most common reasons that exes will block you is because they’re so hurt after the breakup that they want to try to forget about you and move on.
- The Reactionary Attempt: Another potential reason that your ex could be blocking you is out of some misguided reactionary attempt, and if you don’t believe this is a thing, take a look at how many people come into utilizing a no-contact rule the improper way.
- The Power Move: The power move is a way to show that your ex has won the breakup. It’s powerful, and many of its roots are set firmly in “payback.” Where Chris refers to the “victim mentality.” Even exes who break up with you cast themselves as victims. For all of us, we are the center of our own world.
- The Societal Expectation: This has two sides: (1) Recovery in getting over a breakup and (2) Recovery in getting back with an ex. This is the underlying societal expectation placed on individuals who go through breakups. Society doesn’t take too kindly to people who want to get exes back; they shun them.
While it can be difficult to understand why someone would block you, understanding the psychology behind it may help you gain a better perspective of the situation.
Look at Chris’s list and determine where your current situation may stand.
How Do You Move Forward After Being Blocked?
It’s important to remember that, at the end of the day, your self-worth should never be tied to someone else’s decisions.
I want to take a moment to explain a quick game plan for moving forward after being blocked.
- Take some time away from the situation
- Focus on the positive aspects of your life
- Build resilience by challenging yourself and learning new skills
- Find creative ways to express yourself on social media
Let’s talk a bit more in-depth,
1. Take some time away from the situation
At Ex-Boyfriend Recovery, we always recommend our “No-Contact Rule” as one of the first steps to moving forward.
“The no contact rule refers to a period of time where you cut off all conceivable communication with an ex after a breakup. The intent of this tactic should NOT be used to make your ex miss you but instead should be used to rebuild your own life so that you outgrow your ex. By doing this, the no contact rule can have the added benefit of making an ex miss you”
If you want a more complete breakdown then read the full article here: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-no-contact-rule/
We have typically three-time frames for our No-Contact Rule:
- 21 day rule
- 30-day rule
- 45 day rule
Each of these three rules has a different purpose, and you should figure out which fits your situation the best. (Again, read that article I linked to above)
I asked Chris recently about his opinion on the ideal time frame of no contact in a situation where you’ve been blocked, and he recommended using the 45-day rule.
2. Focus on the positive aspects of your life
The No-Contact rule is an essential part of rebuilding your life and healing your broken heart.
But it really only works if you focus on the positive things in your life:
- your hobbies
- your friends
- your family
Take this time to build a stronger relationship with your inner self, focus on personal growth and invest in yourself.
I know how hard it is to change your focus after a breakup, but it’s a crucial part of the healing process.
“It’s about the journey, not the destination.”
The only thing that matters in your healing journey is how you can be strong for yourself. The rest will follow.
3. Build resilience by challenging yourself and learning new skills
As you embark on your healing journey, try to challenge yourself and learn something new.
In our Ex Boyfriend Recovery Program, we talk a lot about “The Holy Trinity”:
- Health Workouts, Eating Healthy, Mental Health, Looking Attractive, Etc.
- Wealth, Money, Social Capital, Job, Status, Etc.
- Relationships Friends, Family, Lovers, Work Friends, Etc.
What is magical about the Holy Trinity is its simplicity and the synergistic way in which these three life components can come together to provide a person with a new focus.
Each of these three elements is interdependent, which means, for example, that if you take one away, the other two are negatively impacted.
Focusing on these three pillars of life will help you build resilience, gain confidence and make sense of the situation.
4. Find Creative Ways To Express Yourself On Social Media
In his ultimate social media guide, Chris includes all kinds of creative ways to express yourself on social media, even if you’re blocked.
To get the most out of the guide, you’ll need to work on these 7 tips:
- Don’t Unfriend Or Block Your Ex After A Breakup: If you’ve been blocked from one social media account, don’t block him from the others. The reasoning here is simple. Posting some of the things we’re about to recommend today is a way of indirectly contacting your ex.
- Adhere To The Five Category Post Rule: (1) Health-Based Post, (2) Wealth-Based Post, (3) Relationship-Based Post, (4) Magnum Opus-Based Post, and (5) Your Choice-Based Post. Every post that you post is designed to show your ex that you’re doing awesome without them, which is exactly what we want to do. Suppose you’re able to pull this off successfully. In that case, it won’t just be your ex who notices but everyone else, which gives you a nice social proof bonus.
- Ensure You Are Consistent With Your Posts: Contrary to what you might believe when I say “be consistent,” I’m not saying that you need to up your post intensity but rather be consistent with your current post intensity.
- Don’t Be Afraid To Use Subtle Jealousy: Every once in a while during your five-category posting, you want to sneak some jealousy posts in regarding your relationship categories or your free for all category.
- Don’t Overreact To “Likes” and “Comments”: If your ex doesn’t like or comment on your stuff, it doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. Instead, it’s more likely that they are trying to show you that they have “forgotten” you in an attempt to “win the breakup.” On the flip side, if your ex does comment or like your stuff, it’s not that it doesn’t mean anything. In that scarce case it usually means something
- Every Picture You Post Should Use The Two-Thirds Rule: Two-Thirds Rule: An imaginary 3×3 grid is placed over the photo, and if the subject takes up more or less than 2/3 of the grid, then it needs to be adjusted. It gives the picture an eye-pleasing feel which is what we are going for when it comes to posting stuff.
- Make Sure That Every Picture Shows You Outgrowing Your Ex: Whenever you post something on social media, I don’t want you to do it for your ex. Instead, I want you to do it for you. This is all about you and not them. You need to outgrow your ex first before you can get them back.
Should You Reach Out To The Person Who Blocked You?
While people may think it’s the fastest way to get back together, frantically reaching out to the person who blocked you usually doesn’t work.
In fact, there is a chance that you will push the other person further away by trying to contact them or look like you are too desperate.
Instead, take this time to focus on the things that matter most, YOU.
The Ex-Boyfriend Recovery’s official stance is to only reach out to people who blocked you until you have completed a no-contact rule.
And there’s research backing this up. In fact, according to a poll done a few years ago,
By doing nothing, focusing on yourself, upping your social media game, etc. Your ex is likely to unblock you.
Yep, you have a better chance of getting them to unblock you to the tune of 70% by simply doing nothing.
It’s normal to have doubts, especially with the no-contact rule.
“Will it work for me?” or “What if I never hear from him again?”
Remember, the purpose of the no-contact rule is to focus on yourself and not win him back. It’s a “hitting two birds with one stone”— thing. As you outgrow and become a better version of yourself during the no-contact rule, you also build your chances of getting him back.
During this time, apart from your ex, why not take up a new hobby or do something you’ve always wanted to do but never had the chance to?
You can never go wrong in investing in yourself.
Keep your chin up and have fun with the process. The more you put yourself out there, the more people will take notice.
In conclusion, being blocked can be a painful experience, but handling the situation with maturity and respect is essential.
- Taking time to process your emotions
- Acknowledging your feelings
- Trying to understand why the person might have blocked you
- Taking a step back to analyze the situation objectively
These are essential steps in moving forward. Avoid jumping to conclusions and rushing into sending messages or trying to talk to the person.
By taking a mature approach and being patient, you may find that the person who blocked you comes back and initiates contact.
Remember, while being blocked can be upsetting, no one but you can destroy your internal peace.