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123 thoughts on “How to Make Him Regret Taking You for Granted”

  1. Avatar

    Pam

    December 1, 2019 at 5:54 pm

    Hi, I have a very hard situation with my ex of 7 yrs. We had already broken up in those 7 yrs. Then got back together. I moved in with his parents and of course what so weird to me but I managed to be happy. Of course not everything was perfect the no privacy thing was getting to me. The no independence as well.. we had a an argument and he basically told me if I wanted to go I could go..I begged and tried to reconnect with him..I told him I loved him. He was so cold and harsh i was heartbroken. The last straw was when he told me I could take my time to move out..I left that night when he was at work I was heartbroken didnt have anywhere to go.. I know I shouldn’t have left like that but I didbt have any option. I did 2 mths NC I reached out to him after 2 mths..he was mean and wasnt ready to talk.. then I went nc again and he reached out to get his things back. (We had a storage).. I agreed.. we ended up tal9for like 2 hrs not about breakup but life in general. After that things got better we were talking more… we started to hook up..bad idea but I wanted to spend time with him.. after a while he would be mean to me when he would get drunk and say to not ever come back…. on a course of 1 1/2 yrs has been a rollercoaster..I feel like I’ve been trying to make things work to hang out I’ve been more patient also been working on my self but he says I’m happier with out him that he wasnt enough…. and last night I found out he is seeing a girl which he is denying about and cancelled our plan to go out with her..I was hurt I decide to confront him about it and he lied a out dating anyone and that he was alone that day..I stayed calmed… and said i would let him be if that was the case i know hes lying but he also turned it around to me saying that all this time has passed and that I haven’t made an effort! Idk what to do we are friendly now but I cant trust him I know we r not together at the moment but he knows I still love him.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 6, 2019 at 8:10 pm

      Hey Pam so I suggest you go back into a no contact and attempt to get him back following this program, that means no emotional texting no hooking up no relationship talk until you have been on at LEAST 3 romantic dates. Read through some articles and understand what it is you need to do to get him investing into you and want to spend time with you. The only thing I can say the more you argue with him or accuse him etc is going to damage your chances of getting him back.

  2. Avatar

    Brandj

    October 10, 2019 at 10:15 pm

    Me and my ex bf broke up 4 weeks ago. We have known each other for almost 2 years, dated for 10 months and lived together 10 months. He asked me to move states with him after he told me he loved me. (We did an on/off booty call thing before me not speaking to him for 5 months prior to reconnecting) We moved in together and were somewhat stressed with life, our careers and the fact we were living on top of eachother during a house remodel. It was stressful but we loved eachother deeply. I started to realize he was immature emotionally. I had to ask him to prioritize me and ask him to care about my interests. It didn’t come naturally and I blame that on his bachelor lifestyle. I’m 23 and he is 25. One day we had an argument stemming from me not feeling considered and important to him. He broke up with me and moved me back home across another state not even 3 days later. He said his reason initially was that he just thought we were too different and didn’t see us making the distance. He didn’t see himself marrying me. Then it later changed to “it’s not you it’s me” and that he just found himself wanting to be alone, he wanted to be by himself. He said maybe my exes weren’t the problem maybe I was. We cried and cried and held eachother while I packed. He said even last week he was still in love with me when he visited this state to see friends but that with time I would understand and love him differently. We had a great relationship. He said it was the best he has ever had and that he was happy but he’s sticking with his decision bc he doesn’t think we would work. We didn’t really fight except when I felt he was being selfish, maybe 4 “large” fights our whole relationship. Our connection was amazing, we were bestfriends. He was so nice after the breakup but eventually got fed up about talking about us.. we didn’t speak for 4 days and then tried to be friendly… that too didn’t work. I have made mistakes since the breakup.. crying and begging. Today I told him I didn’t see him like that anymore and that he was knocked off his pedestal bc I found out that he was talking to other girls. I told him I deserved better than that and I didn’t want anyone in my life who didn’t want to be there. That was the last thing I said to him. I love him unconditionally unfortunately and still want him. I’m worried that my actions post break up and his indecisiveness/not knowing what to say damaged our chances of getting back together. I’m starting no contact now but I didn’t know if I should apologize for my last text before hand to end on a good note.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 12, 2019 at 8:56 am

      Hi Brandj Dont apologise if he was texting other women in a flirtatious way when you were together and you are not happy with that because you need to prove that you find that behavior unacceptable. Stick with your Nc and dont break it, when you reach out after your NC you need to do so as a friend and set the boundaries where you expect them to be regarding to friends with benefits etc. Dont sleep with him unless you are back together again.

  3. Avatar

    Midstorm

    September 18, 2019 at 4:21 pm

    Hello,
    I’ve been in a long distance relationship. My ex was a colleague/friend I met at work while we were consulting. It was time for me to travel back home and for him as well at some point just when we got really serious about each other. We didn’t have enough time to spend with each other as a couple for the next 2 months until we met again through work. We made it work long distance till then and fought too many times and like other couples broke up and patched up. He’d ghost me for 2-4 days initially if he didn’t like something I said or something I did. Apparently he never had a girlfriend before and was only with a woman for the physical satisfaction. We did not have sex until we met again after the 2 months of being away from each other. We met again and got some time to spend with each other during work and outside of work for about 3 weeks until it was time to travel back to our respective homes. We live 2 states apart. After the 3 weeks I spent with him there have been numerous fights and we’d patch up. But lately I feel a disconnect with him on all levels. I long him too much. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him. He stopped texting often like he used to. He stopped calling me. It turned to one call a day when he felt like calling. Some days I had to force him to call me only so that I could see his face and hear his voice. I’ve tried approaching this topic over and over again and he says he isn’t sure of how he feels. Long distance and time is making it all fade. When you love someone how can it fade? I convinced him to come see me or me to go see him once a month but he keeps giving excuses that his family at home needs him (parents and sibling). That they are dependent on him which I honestly at some point was empathetic to but later it started to feel like he was making an excuse to not come see me. Finally he had one opportunity where he could come see me next month and he tells me I’m not sure. If I should come or no. I don’t know how I feel and l I’ll know that when I see you. That hurt me the most. I gave my everything to this man. He made me dream of a future with him for the longest time I remember. When we broke up hed come back to me in 3 days or 4 days. When I blocked him he’d text me from weird internet numbers to hey my attention and to get me talking to him and the same old story repeats again where he toys with my feelings and takes me for granted and doesn’t care that he’s hurting me or it didn’t even make a difference anymore if I cry. There used to be a time when he couldn’t see me cry and now when he sees me cry about this he tells me he feels guilty because we talk the same thing everyday she There’s no conclusion. Even as I am writing this to you we aren’t in talking. We spoke about this 2 days ago and He told me he will come see me and try to give it another shot and be the person I met when I first confessed my love for him. But after that I’ve not received any calls or texts from him and somewhere I know he probably won’t come.i really love this guy and he’s not bad. Maybe he’s got some issues. I don’t know. Long distance makes the impact worse. He’s been taking me for granted and coming in and out of my life as he pleases telling me rosy things to get back with me before he treats me like I don’t mean anything and takes me for granted again. I hope you give me some genuine good advice of how I can for real have his love and attention for good and not repeat and get into the same cycle again. He claims to love me and has been saying this for the longest time but lately has been so distant and far. Please help. I hope I can have him back in my life but as the man I know he has the potential to be and not this confused person whose been toying with my feelings and is insensitive about it .

  4. Avatar

    Soniya

    September 14, 2019 at 5:57 am

    My ex and me was in relationship for 1 yr 4 months but during last 2,3 months we were having problems in our relationship like always breakup patchup ..always he use to do breakup and I begged him for patchup…he use to always think always I made mistakes always I am the reason for breakup manier times it happens that we broke up because of her Best friend he use to talk about her in begining but when he realized I don’t like that he stopped talking to her but he use to take her side always like he use to say why you always abuse my friend…she has not done anything wrong to you ….and last time also we broke up because I just asked him that why did he lied to me that she is in his class but she is not she is in different class I got to know about that by my one friend who is in his college..I just asked him that why did he lied to me 1 month before that I only talk to her so I can’t block her because I want notes and all stuffs which she gives me and then I came to know that she is not in her class I begged him so much to patchup but he got angry as I involved his friends for help which led to get him more angrier as his friends taken my side that she is right she loves u so much she did so many things for you but he got angrier as they taken my side and not his and know he says I don’t want to be with you I want to move on you also please move on

  5. Avatar

    Soniya

    September 14, 2019 at 5:45 am

    My ex always taken me for granted during our relationship and after breakup I tried alot to get him back but he was enjoying that i am begging him to talk to me as a friend at least……he always use to say to me just move on ..but I said I can’t..he is very smart as I think he only wants that if he’ll say me to move on I am not going to move on because of my insecurities that why he is saying me to move on and saying I am also moving on

  6. Avatar

    Sophie

    September 4, 2019 at 1:28 am

    Hi Chris
    My ex broke up with me I did the NC and I did the 21 days since we have a lot of friends in commun. I did self improve and he came back into my life saying that he was an idiot that he took me for granted and everything… we slowly started seeing each other again and now I’m just wondering how I should handle the second phase of : we’re back together sort of (we haven’t had THE conversation yet) he gave me a lot of gifts for my BD and literally went out of his way. But I’m scared he’s gonna slowly take me for granted again and I’m scared I won’t see it coming. I’m unsure of how I should tell him in a futur conversation and how I don’t want him to dump me again just because it went back to how things were. (I know my fault I was too dependent on him and I have changed my way but I want him to change his ways too) thank you 🙂

  7. Avatar

    Caileigh

    August 17, 2019 at 9:51 pm

    My ex boyfriend and I were together for 9 years when suddenly out of the blue he decided to break up with me. He said he doesn’t love me the way he should, he said that I deserve better and he was very upset. We got back together 2 days later when I suggested going on a break for 2 weeks instead. He was open to the idea.

    I went and visited my family, no contact for 2 weeks. Come home on the Friday, supposed to end the break on Saturday and discuss this and he texts me on the Saturday afternoon. First message is asking me how my holidays were, second explaining that he was happy while I was gone and he found himself again. I don’t think that being without me is what he actually wants. I asked him if he regrets our relationship and he said he does not. I have now implemented NC it’s been 5 days now. A friend of mine said that if I give him space he will come back but I don’t know what to do. I’m in a funk.

  8. Avatar

    Therese

    June 4, 2019 at 6:40 am

    My Ex broke up with me because he said he wasn’t good for me. So, I cut off any contact with him, unfriend him on Facebook and all. After some time I felt like I was okay, so I added him back. He chatted me saying he misses me and I was always on his mind. We were talking for some time and everything was going fine but eventually he just disappeared. Ignored my messages

  9. Avatar

    Amber Quibodeaux

    March 23, 2019 at 11:19 pm

    Hi. I’m 33 and never been married or had kids. My long time boyfriend of 7 years recently dumped me for a 19 year old, right before we were to be finally married. (Hes 39!) I attribute him leaving me because of a midlife crisis. However, during the breakup (not to mention the 19 year old did a love spell on him) he was very mean, almost like it was all my fault that we split. However, the 19 year old girl had just had a baby for his brother, and they were together for a year or so. He kicked me out of our home and moved her in immediately, like 2 days after i left. She was just trying to get back at her child father by making him jealous, I’m sure. To make things even more complicated, I was in the throes of love AND we worked together. Side by side at that. So I had to watch their “relationship” unfold and him tell me things like hes never loved a woman like he did the new woman. It hurt so very much. We continued to work together. However, the 19 year old girl left my ex for the brother she originally was with. Now, fast forward a few months, my ex is being mean but is taking me for granted because I’m always there for him. I need serious advice. Please HELP!

  10. Avatar

    Lau

    December 1, 2018 at 3:39 pm

    Hey Chris, this is my second time writing on this page. The first time I was still with my ex and wondering how to fix our problems and now well we are no longer together. He is the one who left me after I took a 1 week break with him. The truth is it was not going well at all between us. He took me for granted and start to take more and more time with his best friend (like 3 times a week) and I did some nagging. It started 3 months ago and evolved slowly into stronger arguments and more fighting. Anyways, it has been a real emotional nightmare. Now he left me 5 days ago and that night I tried everything to keep him even do he did not admit any of his bad behavior. After I saw it was pointless and that he would not change is mind I said to him that I accepted is choice and we part respectfully. After that night I did not contact him a single time in any ways. I still miss him and love him very much but he hurt me and he said after the break that is life was better without me than with me. He basically choose his friend over me. Now surprise he just text me (while I was trying to do the no contact rule) he send me the same message by text and messenger. I did not reply yet since I don’t think he really took the time to understand his part in all this. On his message he says he want to meet me for coffee or at his/my place to talk. I am not sure I should answer that but at the same time I want him back. I just don’t want to take him back if it is going to be the same old problems. I don’t want to be the one who puts all the efforts and energy into it. What do you think? Should I keep the no contacts for few weeks more or should I go meet him face to face. I kinda want him to see what he is loosing. Should I even answer that? I thought on not answering at all to be honest but maybe this is a bad move.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 2, 2018 at 2:29 am

      I hear you Lau…you don’t want to be the only one putting all the energy and effort into it. So utilize NC in the way I teach it. Pick up my eBook or watch a bunch of my videos…podcasts..etc so you understand all the elements and layers on how to maximize your efforts.

  11. Avatar

    Julia

    September 19, 2018 at 8:26 pm

    My ex boyfriend and I were together almost a year and a half. He recently fell into a bout of depression and tried to break things off with me which was difficult because we live with each other. I felt as though it was the depression pushing me away. Not him because of how utterly gutted and tearful he was to even suggest the idea. He said that I don’t deserve any of this and he wants to see me happy. Anyway. After a month of trying to support him and help him through this struggle he tearfully told me the other day he could no longer be in a relationship. I am now staying with a friend to give him space to work on himself. I know deep down he doesn’t want this but I think he’s just so lost. Before this we were quite happy, always going on adventures, loving each other and life. He unfortunately is in a high pressure job and struggles with perfectionism and also has had some personal setbacks. When I felt as though I was being taken for granted I mostly attributed it to him being tired (would only sleep 4 hours a night), and looking back I think he was in the early stages of depression. I just wanted to help. I’m contemplating elements of the No Contact Rule if only for his well being but I don’t want to overdo it. Any thoughts or ideas? I can’t necessarily fault him if he wasn’t really himself- or can I? I’m so confused.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 20, 2018 at 12:55 am

      Hi Julia!

      My best advice is have an ex recovery plan. Read up on everything about NC. I have loads of information about it and how you might use it and how it can help you and your ex in multiple ways. Check out my 247 page book, “The No Contact Rule Book” if you want to dive just into that topic. Also my 485 page core Ebook (Pro) is a great resources. All on the home page!

  12. Avatar

    Emily

    September 15, 2018 at 9:03 am

    Ok this is a complicated one. My ex stopped wanting to spend much time with me over the summer and was taking it for granted that if be around. I found out I was pregnant and initially, he was happy. Then my ex broke up with me because he said her didn’t love me. I’ve been suffering from acute anxiety for 2 years over a separate issue, and it just tipped me over the edge. I tried to commit suicide, primarily because of the anxiety. I spent 2 days in hospital. Initially, my ex wanted to check up on me and attend appts but I said no because I wasn’t in a great place. I begged as well. I sent him a message over a week ago apologising for my reaction and got a positive “That’s ok don’t apologise response” I’m on day 6 NC. Is there any hope?
    Further, his birthday comes up

  13. Avatar

    Emily

    September 9, 2018 at 4:31 pm

    Hi,
    i broke up with my ex boyfriend two days ago because he was taking me for granted and i couldn’t take his cr** anymore. he is a good guy but he just dont care about making time for me asking me about how my days went. he talks to mey everyday just to ask how am i and then nothing. i kept warning him and explaining to him that im not okay with it and that if he really cared he needs to change the way he is treating me. lately he was in a different city with his family for a whole week. i took the road to see him in the weekend. and the day he came back he didnt even think on asking to see me . actually he said that hell see me for just 10 min cause he has a football match to play with his friends . two days after that i broke up with him and went full NC

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 9, 2018 at 6:41 pm

      Hi Emily!

      There are a lot of good guys out there that just don’t always understand how to please their girl. So as you go thru NC, be sure to follow along with how I teach it in my program. My eBooks, podcasts, videos get into this and much more.

  14. Avatar

    Josephine

    September 8, 2018 at 6:51 pm

    Hey its been 4 days.. i caught my boyfriend having holiday with another girl through instagram.. he told me he was on a business trip.. and i confront him with all the proof and i asked him to be honest with me.. i message the girl and ask the girl is he with my bf.. i only ask my boyfriend to proof me if im wrong but he cant do it .. and my boyfriend call me and get angry saying im crazy and not trusting.. and he text i cant do this with u anymore.. im ashamed of u.. i give everything i only want u to trust me.. im so tired of u… and ever since i never contact .. i considered myself in a no contact period.. now im really hurt and crying.. im afraid that he wud just be with this girl.. pr maybe he never love me.. what should i do

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 9, 2018 at 5:14 am

      Hi Josephine!

      I know rejection of this kind hurts. He was wrong what he did and your trust has been betrayed. Using no contact is the right move, but be sure you understand how it fully works and what you do afterwords. That is what my website is about. Go to my home page to check out some of my resources.

  15. Avatar

    Opal

    July 27, 2018 at 10:18 pm

    He wouldn’t commit to anyone really and now some skanky unemployed young chick is pregnant and sucked him in. So after telling him what a schmuck he is for weeks (and listening to how much he hates her but hanging out with her still) now it’s no contact. I truly don’t believe he can live without me. I was a doormat too long but now he’ll see. I just hope I’m over it when he realizes. He will and should regret my magic for the rest of his life. Especially now that his life is screwed.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      July 28, 2018 at 4:55 am

      Wise choice Opal to employ no contact. Keep reading about how it works and how you can make the most of the process. I have ebooks and resources throughout this website that can help you.

    2. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      July 28, 2018 at 4:55 am

      Wise choice Opal to employ no contact. Keep reading about how it works and how you can make the most of the process. I have ebooks and resources throughout this website that can help you.

  16. Avatar

    Chelsea

    March 4, 2018 at 10:56 pm

    He was definitely taken aback and seemed like he was processing things. He asked if that meant we would only talk to each other in groups and I said I would have other people to talk to, so not even then. It was mainly to protect me from him stringing me along without realizing it.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 9, 2018 at 10:43 am

      That’s good.. The only way that he can realize what you had with each other is what’s important is if he doesn’t get to experience it anymore..

  17. Avatar

    Monique

    March 3, 2018 at 9:58 pm

    My ex boyfriend broke up with me 7 months ago because he said that i took him for granted and my family didn’t like him. Since then, we have been on and off but I’ve still acted like his girlfriend. We have been intimate, we hangout from time to time, etc. HOWEVER, he acts nice only when he wants to and he takes everything i do for granted. He ignores me whenever he wants to, puts me on the back burner, isn’t there when i need him, etc. sometimes he will go days without speaking to me. And i have bought him things, payed for things for him, etc. and he barely shows appreciation. I tell him how i feel but he just disregards me. I don’t know what else to do.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 7, 2018 at 1:49 pm

      Hi Monique,
      If by intimate you mean sleeping with him. Stop it.. Of you’re not officially together, that means you’re friends with benefits..are you going to do the nc rule?

  18. Avatar

    Chelsea

    February 25, 2018 at 6:53 pm

    My ex broke up with me two years ago and I went through no contact and wave theory and all that. I do believe that the comfort level we reached towards the end of our relationship worried him to think that maybe he didn’t like me as much as he thought. That’s why this idea of him “taking me for granted” really caught my eye. Not only do I think that happened at the end of our relationship, but I think that happened post breakup. Immediately after the breakup, he acted as though nothing had happened and was buddy buddy with me. I went back and forth wondering if he was interested again or not. I finally confronted him about it a few months ago and told him we either do something about it or don’t talk anymore–honestly, I was tired of feeling like he forgot that we had dated and taking our relationship for granted. So we haven’t talked for a few months now and I miss him more than ever. Is there any way to make him recognize how our comfort level with each other is the thing that made our relationship so strong?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 27, 2018 at 1:47 pm

      Hi Chelsea,

      What did he say when you confronted him?

  19. Avatar

    Jess McMillan

    February 15, 2018 at 12:19 am

    He’s Brazilian, I’m Australian. I wouldn’t say we were boyfriend and girlfriend, but he made me feel wanted and desired. It was my first serious head-over-heels. I tried to support him when he was feeling homesick and tired. But along the way I got clingy and he distanced himself. I was terrified of losing something good and I did. We met late September and parted ways in October 2017 though we ‘stayed in contact’ through texting. He avoided meeting in person but he told me he wanted to be friends. I agreed at first but later said said ‘nope’ because that’s not how I feel. He’s not in the same place as me, ready for a relationship.

    After a good deal of moping I signed up for volunteering, bought some self help books and started yoga. I unfriended/unfollowed him on social in January though he still follows me. I’ve dated around and even like one or two guys who I’ve seen.

    I see us as friendly, but not friends. I don’t quite think he gets this. Every time I try to implement NC he’s reached out after 2/3 weeks. I respond because he’s not a horrible person. Sometime’s he’s needed help with something important. Two weeks ago we met in person. I told him how I feel about being friends aka I won’t do it because it’s not fair. I thought that was the end of it. Oddly after that he’s liked a lot of my posts on Instagram (they were good shots though).

    Two days ago he reached out again. I was confused and asked him outright why he was texting. He said to know how I was doing. I told him I’m more than a text message on a phone and that endless texting isn’t for me. That’s my standard. If you’re going to text me, at least arrange a time to meet up. I don’t want to go down that rabbit hole again. I’m not going to reach out to him (though I miss him sometimes) and just carry on.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 18, 2018 at 11:21 pm

      Hi Jess,

      Don’t respond because no matter what you say to him, if you keep responding then he will keep thinking you’re friends.

  20. Avatar

    Mary

    January 11, 2018 at 9:23 pm

    I’m considering me and my bf broke up because he’s been ignoring me the last couple of days. On Monday I confronted him about not having his phone on him during the weekend and he got upset and seemed to turn the situation around and make it seem like I was the bad guy. He told me to be mad if I want and that’s the last I heard from him. I wasn’t mad to begin with just concerned and worried and since then I haven’t heard from him. I tried contacting him eveyday since then but I still haven’t heard from him. I’m going to try and not contact him moving forward. It’s just hard going from talking to someone everyday to not at all. He hasn’t blocked me on anything and he hasn’t taken our pics down so idk what to do or make out of this situation. I’m so confused by it all and don’t know what to do.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 14, 2018 at 8:14 pm

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