How To Know If Your Ex Boyfriend Still Loves You - Signs Your Ex Is Still Interested

1,415 thoughts on “This Is How You Know If Your Ex Still Loves You”

Cheryl

September 8, 2015 at 11:44 am

Hi, Chris!
I got a quick question for you. We were in a relationship for almost 2 years, but broke up 2 months ago. Right after our breakup, I followed the NC rule, for 40 days. During the NC period, he was asking our common friends about me, and seemed to be interested in me again. One day he finally texted me. We had a fun conversation. He even told me that he still loved me. Also, we went out for a coffee, because I wanted to give him something back. When we met, he acted so cool and indifferent. He even talked to me about a girl he’s been really close to. I played it cool, because I didn’t want him to think that I’m still interested in getting back with him. What should I do? We talk every now and then, but he keeps posting photos of him and other girls on fb, and sometimes he acts weird. He’s driving me crazy. Pls help!
Confused

September 8, 2015 at 12:54 am

Hi,

I dated a guy for about 3 weeks after talking/texting with him for about 2 weeks, and he was really pushing for a relationship. He was constantly telling me how beautiful and perfect I was, how I was everything he ever wanted and that he loved everything about me. He told me he was falling in love…. He hadn’t been in a relationship for about two years, and I was out of a three year relationship for a year. I’m 47 and he just turned 50. All our kids are grown, but his mother and her husband are “temporarily” living with him (she is nice, but very controlling. She does everything for him and went nearly everywhere with us). We both have great jobs and I’m still attending school, so it’s not like we don’t have our own lives as well. Anyway, I was hesitant to jump into a relationship again because of trust issues, and frankly, I didn’t want to get hurt again. This guy however, was very understanding and treated me like a queen! He was so GOOD to me I’ve never been treated so well by any man in my life. At 4 weeks, I decided to commit to a relationship with him, and at 5 weeks I was falling in love and told him so. But…., instead of coming closer to me, he started doubting my feelings and became insecure. For example, he would believe that every text message to him had a double meaning, and it was always the “bad” one… If I took too long (like 10 minutes) to reply to a text message he became distant with me. He seemed jealous if I mentioned male coworkers during casual work-related conversations (we work together), he thought I wasn’t “giving” as much to the relationship as he was… when I asked what else he needed, he said if I have to tell him then it’s NOT in me to give it….. 🙁 Just last week, after an intimate morning together (he has some ED issues – I think this is important), he decided to break up with me that evening when I got off work. All he could say was, “I don’t think this is working out between us, I feel like we’re going to have problems later on…. It’s a feeling I have in my gut…. I have to go with my gut…. sorry.” I tried to get him to explain further, but he just kept saying it was a feeling. Then he said, “My feelings aren’t at the level they need to be in order to continue the relationship…” I’m like what?! He told me he was in love with me!! Ok, I don’t get it. He was making plans for “us” for December and next February already, AND, just bought $6,000 worth of bedroom furniture with “me” in mind because at some point in the future, he wanted me to move in with him. He sent me a text message the next morning stating that I was a wonderful woman, but I didn’t have everything he wanted in a relationship and that I wasn’t the “one” for him. I haven’t heard from him in a week. He avoids me like the plague at work, however, I have seen him lurking about outside my building. I don’t know what to think. I love him and want to give our relationship some more time to develop. He acts like he doesn’t want anything to do with me. I don’t understand what I did wrong…. 🙁
emiy

September 7, 2015 at 11:31 pm

hi
my bf for almost 3 years broke up with me after a fight 4 weeks ago we had we actually argue alot but we always go back and talk after it’s like nothing happened. i was so depress and i did crazy things like crying and begging him to stay but didn’t work at the first he said he needed some time alone, but after my reaction he said he can’t do it because he has no feeling for me he blocked me from fb after i realized he was talking and going out with another girl and when i faced him about that he said its his friend’s girlfriend in the past he never liked this girl and he was disappointed of the way she and her sister act around boys few days ago a friend of me and him saw him with the two sisters at hooka bar and he tried to avoid this friend never said hi to her.
he act so weird because he doesn’t want me to do stupid things like i start to drink after the break up and he was so mad about it, but he go with girls who does that also a year ago i had scarf he took it from me and hang it on his car when i want this thing back he gave it to me but when i said i will get rid of it he took it back and he said he want to keep it, but he refuse to talk to me what so ever i gave him all his gifts back and when i asked his cuzin she said everything still the same way you left it he never touched them.
i don’t know what to do his birthday next month and our anniversary is in 2 months sometimes i feel i have to give up on him and sometimes i have a hope that he will get back once.
he also asked me to stay as friends and i refused witch is so weird i don’t know what exactly he want it’s breaks my heart seeing him with these girls also i want him back so bad please help i’m going through ruff time also i’m starting new semester and i can’t focus…
Payton

September 4, 2015 at 6:36 pm

Hi Chris!
So my first boyfriend and I broke up like almost 2 years ago… ( I KNOW THATS A LONG TIME) Our relationship was literally the best though we really loved each other and the only reason we broke up is because well actually I don’t really know but it was a really sad break up and we both cried a lot. Anyways I am like a psycho and i broke the NC rule like really bad the whole year after our break up but we were still hooking up sometimes (he was a senior and i was a junior in high school) long story short at one point I was mad that he didn’t want me back and we started fighting and he just like deleted me from his life… for like a year, and it wasn’t that bad because he left to go to the University of Alabama and I didn’t see him and I got over him I thought. BUT I SO DIDNT and i want him back… at the end of my senior year he readded me on facebook and even started a small conversation with me. I was gonna go to the University of Alabama this year because its the only college i got into.. but i didn’t and now I’m just visiting the school for the alabama football game against mississippi… so basically my question is when i visit should i like message him and ask him he wants to hangout or something!? or should i just go and post pictures that i was there but just not say anything to him. IDK WHAT TO DO
Diane

September 1, 2015 at 10:46 pm

I was with my boyfriend for 5 years. During those five years we had rough times but it always seemed that our love for each other was stronger. However, this year things seemed going downhill really bad. We both got distant and instead of talking and working things out we let things get worse. In the past we would argue and not talk for a couple of days but eventually one of us reached out to each other but not this time. We have followed the NC rule for the past two weeks. I feel that we both had equal fault in the break up. We have followed the NC rule for the past two weeks. I was convinced that he didn’t want the relationship anymore because he hasn’t reached out to me at all. Until, this past Saturday my best friend bumped into him at a wedding and she said he was extremely drunk and that he told her that his life is nothing without me. I don’t know whether or not to believe what he told her because he was to drunk. I don’t know what to do, move on and forget about him or reach out and see if there is still a possibility for us again.
Deirdre

September 1, 2015 at 3:05 pm

Hi Chris, I’m so glad I found your site I’ve been so stupid. I broke up with my baby a week and a half ago. After a fight he threw me out of his house and told me not to call him. This was unacceptable to me and because he didn’t call me that night, the next morning I tried to call him and when he didn’t answer I broke up with him via text. He responded like he didn’t care. The next day I sent him a nasty letter in the post with my key (to his house) enclosed. I received an apology via text (possibly before he received the letter) but the text also asked if he should drop my things (nothing important) to my house while I was away. I told him to just burn them… I was angry that he was letting me go… I wrote him an 8 page letter (which I did not send) but it made things more clear in my head and I realised I’d made a mistake. I texted him in the middle of the night saying “I don’t want it to be over”… I know now from reading your website that that was a bad idea… He didn’t respond. We had a holiday booked for that weekend and I unsuccessfully tried to sell it so the next night I texted him again… I asked if he knew anyone who could use the holiday and he didn’t respond so I told him I thought this was messed up and I was sorry for the nasty letter I sent and wished him luck… That was 5 days ago and the last time I tried to contact him and I still haven’t heard from him. I am worried about my chances of getting him back because he’s very particular about who he introduced to his children and I’m afraid he may never forgive me for leaving him. I’m also afraid that he might be thinking positively about the breakup since he may be moving abroad. I would have done the LDR or even gone with him when the time was right but I never got a chance to tell him that and I’m afraid by the time the 30 days are over he could be leaving. Can you give me any advice, I know that he loved me and I hate to think of him hurting.
Rheaya

August 28, 2015 at 1:49 am

Hey Chris
I just completed my NC and texted my ex. He was very positive and asked questions about how I was. He seemed engaged. I ended to conversation and he said we’d talk again. I have ex boyfriend recovery pro but I’m still unclear how long I should wait before asking him out for a coffee. I know all the different text messages I should send, but how long until I can slip in the meeting request? Is it ok to ask him via text? He NEVER answers phone calls. Thanks Chris!

Rheaya

September 2, 2015 at 5:06 pm

He never answered his phone when we were together. He always let them go to voice mail and he would text or email. Same went for everyone. In Canada we have crappy phone plans. He has never uses the phone unless it’s to talk to his mother.
Chris Seiter

September 2, 2015 at 3:19 am

It really depends on the guy. When you feel like he would be ready and open but not to quickly. Like after 2-3 weeks, but he has to be open to a quick phone chat first. Why do you think he doesn’t answer calls?

Emmygirl

August 26, 2015 at 2:21 am

Hi so I have been seeing this one guy for about a month and were 16. And I did something bad but he didn’t leave. We were talking on the phone and we were talking about our “sand he was telling me about his ex and him, And it hurt me so I said I liked someone who I don’t. He said he loved me… then when I said I liked that person ( who I don’t really) He said everything he said was fake and it made me cry and he kept calling me.. Idk why but I was so upset I told him to F**k off and never come back. And he agreed and left… And I keep thinking about him every second and I want him to call me so bad I love his boy… what do I do please help

Emma

August 29, 2015 at 4:57 pm

My opinion is that you should just flat out tell him the truth. Tell him if he can talk in person for a bit and tell him that you were hurt that he was telling you about his ex so you decided to say something about you liking someone because you didn’t want to look like a lame, just tell him but in reality it’s you that i like and i love you and i cant stop thinking about you and apologize

Not sure

August 25, 2015 at 10:07 pm

Hi Chris, I am on the fence about a man I connected with last September. We met briefly 12 years ago and I just never forgot him. I reached out to him on FB (me going through a bad divorce) and he announced he was flying solo. We had A LDR (Oz/Europe) and we were meeting when we could. The meetings were by and large spectacular, even though I working through the divorce and we were getting to know each other. Early this summer after a fabulous last get together, I sensed a shift. I gently told him it was all good, but the communication waned, we were not communicating as before and I eventually just cut contact. It has been 40 days since we last communicated. I wanted the air to clear but I want to give it another shot. I miss him. Would you be kind enough to advise me on how I could proceed using your system/expertise? I would be so grateful if you would consider sharing your advice with me. THANK YOU.
Meg

August 23, 2015 at 5:03 pm

Hi. I am losing my mind over this one guy and I would like you to help me. We have been together for 4 years and four months earlier he told me he has fallen out of love. We took a break for a month and met again and he told me we’ll try to work things out. But till now his feelings has not changed but he tells me to give him some more time. that he does not want to lose me. and that he’s doing everything he could to make things better. Please help. What should I do?

Chris Seiter

August 24, 2015 at 6:03 pm

Go into no contact for 21 days, do not respond to his texts etc. Sounds like he is trying to see if there is anything else out there that’s better for him and keeping you on the sidelines waiting.

Lost

August 23, 2015 at 2:34 pm

My ex left me yesterday saying he loved me but he had to let me go because I had done all the things that could’ve hurt him the most. He has issues with me talking to my previous ex. I am not exactly fond of him either, but I don’t hate him. So my ex asked the previous one to stay away. He was very rude and I feared the previous ex might leak my semi nudes out of anger. So I spoke to him, surprisingly he apologized and I accepted it. We spoke a little but that was it. I never told my ex about this as he would feel hurt, until I realized that it would come out some day and that would be very bad. So I told him one day and we almost broke up. He was drunk as fuck, thought we were done and when some girl asked him for his number, he gave it to her and he took hers. He didn’t tell me about this. When he got sober he told her to stay away. We got back and after a few days he told me about what happened with him and the girl. He apologized and cried and stuff so I kind of forgave him. It’s not like he had gone ahead with it. Everything was fine till one day I realized I’d never gotten over him almost dating someone else while things were still rocky between us. I thought I should discuss this with him and when I did, I kind of opened up old wounds. I obviously didn’t intend to but I had never really healed. The reason it hurt him so much was because he felt I had compromised his trust and ego by talking to my ex. He told me he loved me and wanted to be with me but this was eating him up. That what I did wasn’t fair to him. And I felt what he had done wasn’t fair to me. So as my previous ex was half responsible for what had happened, I asked him for advice. He gave me a message to send (on his behalf) which told him that I love him and not the previous ex. This affected him more. We fought a bit and he decided he had to let me go. His last words were. “I’ll be honest with you. I love you, but I have to do this.” I really really love him and Idk what to do. Should I let him go with grace? Or should I wait for him? Because he always said he’ll always come back no matter what. No matter what happened between us, we were perfect. We defined perfect. We made mistakes, but it’s only human. I want him. So bad. But I think I’ve screwed up more than both of us can handle. I am so sad and I worry about him all the time. I love him so much and I hate myself for hurting him like this. But everything I did was because I didn’t want to hurt him. I don’t think what I did was as serious as cheating or something. But I still feel bad about everything.
Ann

August 22, 2015 at 4:40 am

Hi, After a break up with my boyfriend of about a year we tried to remain friends. He said I wasn’t “the one”. We had no space in between and continued to hang out a few times a week. He planned some of the times we spent time together. Like dates but not- because we’re friends. I was hoping this would lead to an organic reconnection but when I asked him if he was feeling different he said no. He said that the door is never completely closed but he doesn’t think we’re a good match. He also says I’m his bestfriend and that there’s no one he enjoys spending time with as much as me. I said recently maybe I’m not strong enough to remain friends because the lines blur and he said maybe it’s best to miss each other ( I think that’s foolish to play the disappearing act because you should know what you have! Although I’m not the guru because it’s not working). Anyways, I feel like if I abruptly start NC this will hurt his feelings because we are friends and adults and genuinely care about each other. Should I have a conversation about it? Or just a slow fade? Thanks so much. Your podcast is great!
kate

August 15, 2015 at 10:47 pm

Chris, my boyfriend was with me 24.7 — meaning he texted, called, emailed often…wanting to see me and be with me as much as possible, even surprising me with visits. I then found out through happenstance that he was “seeing” someone else — ie, a married woman who was texting, calling, emailing him ALL the time behind her husband’s back. He was responding, said he’d be happy thelp her with her problems, that he’d drop everything for her. He never told me about her — I found out after he accidentally left around incriminating evidence. I broke up with him over this — he apologized, didn’t want to see me go….Now I will institute NC. Isn’t he “showing the signs” he is in love with this other woman? What gives? Why pursue me, be with me at every opportunity — and fhen maintain this other relationship, dropping everything for a woman who clearing is into him and either acting like they are in a relationship or trying to force one? He said they were just friends — but what man emails, calls, texts another woman all the time particularly when aggressively pursuing and wanting to spend every waking hour with me? They did have a professional connection, but also clearly a social one. Their “friendship” preceded mine — meaning they were buddies before he met me. If only buddies, wouldn’t the excessive private communications have slowed down once he began dating me. What gives?
christie

August 13, 2015 at 3:50 am

Me and my boyfriend broke up about a month and a half ago, him in a psychotic drunken moment, also because he works out of town and I am not okay with log distance. We had to deal with his belongings, some money/rent he owed me, and i was very hurt and felt betrayed. the first week of texts, regarding his posessions and the apartment, he would end a sentence in and you can fuck off (immature), then when i asked if car was insured for the following week he was very limited in conversation, showed zero emotion, and had said things like ‘to be honest i had fun but please stop talking to me, thank you…recently at about the 45 day period he called me hammered and pretty jacked up saying he loves me and misses me and this and that (shocking)…what does this all mean, is he just pushing me away in his mind because he knows he cant have a real commitment..or was hammered talk all BS? im confused

Chris Seiter

August 19, 2015 at 4:41 pm

Usually the truth comes out when people are drinking.

Kat

August 9, 2015 at 12:26 pm

Hi I’m hoping I can get some advice on this as I have no idea what I’m doing.
I was involved with a guy for around a year on & off, until I ended it last April. He was emotionally abusive, drank a lot, said horrible things that really hurt including that he wouldn’t want to be in a public relationship with me as he was ashamed to be seen with me, seemed to only want me for *one thing* and at the same time, told me he was in love with me and I was perfect to him. Complete mindf**k! 🙁
I recently got back in contact with him (unintentionally) and we became friends after around 12 months NC. He seems to have turned his life around, he now has his own house and only drinks occasionally but within moderation. He has been lovely towards me, very respectful and just an all-round brilliant guy. Until a couple of weeks ago when he dropped the bomb on me that he’s still in love with me, wants me to be his girlfriend and hates himself every day for the way he treated me before. I have stayed overnight at his house a few times, just sitting up watching films etc until about a week ago, something inside me just sparked and we were intimate for the first time in over a year. It was nothing like it used to be – it was amazing.
I am so wanting to give him a second chance but I just cannot seem to find the strength to take the risk – I’m petrified that he’ll just slip back into his old ways and treat me like dirt again.

Please help, any advice, anything. I don’t want to lead him on and hurt him, as what he did to me in the past – I would never wish that on anyone.
Thanks

Chris Seiter

August 17, 2015 at 6:43 pm

Go with your gut feelings. Why do you think he will revert back?

kaytlin

August 8, 2015 at 4:23 pm

Me and my ex boyfriend have been together for 3 years. We quit talking to eachother for a month. I went to a place and he was there and he saw another guy hug me. He looked at me and walked away, but i would catch him looking back at me. He has been txting me lately, added me back on facebook and snap chat. He tells me he just wants to be friends. Do you think he still cares? what should i do? We have also hung out twice and each time something happens.

Chris Seiter

August 17, 2015 at 6:20 pm

Yes I think he still cares, Why did you break up? Did he try to contact you during no contact at all?

crystal

August 6, 2015 at 1:17 pm

My boyfriend & I broke up after 11 years.he broke up with me but said I broke up with him.I had recently started a new job, & I have lost a lot of weight .the problems seemed to escalate becuz my confidence.I’ve had nc for 2&1/2 weeks.he has called my phone(blocks his #),& erased my voicemail twice.I almost chased him down yesterday when I passed him on rd,but went home & cried instead.I thought he had no reaction but found out 5 min after seeing me he went & got in a fight & got arrested.oddly I feel better becuz I think it upset him to see me too .I have not backslid on nc & pray I won’t.I’m work in on being a beautiful ug.does he still love me?our brkup was angry & cruel on both sides.I felt destroyed till I found your website.

Chris Seiter

August 6, 2015 at 9:31 pm

Have you attempted the NC yet?

nathalie

July 24, 2015 at 1:10 am

i break up with my boyfriend of 5month last week. Cuz he said he wanna focus in his business this moment, and also his mother is sick now. He feel very sorry to not enough time to take care me, and event not time to thinking about us. But he still like me. After a court conversation we decide talk in one month again, but i dont know why he return my makeup and my closes that stay at his place.

at the first day after break up, i was missiing him, i send him first message ‘have a great day’ , he didin’t reply, then end of the day, i sent him a message again’how are u’. he reply ‘please don’t message me, you are making it difficult. i will not repond’ and i send again ‘so that mean its impossible to change anything in one month?’ he didin’t repond. and i send last message ‘ i hope we just break down monent, lets meet in one month, can we? he reply ‘ ok, talk in one month’.

you think he realy still like me? can we can back together? i decide no contract him for one month, iam do the right ?
Pearl

July 13, 2015 at 6:33 am

so um hey… i have a complexity at the back of my mind.look, i think it was kinda my fault. but um, well, i was rlly behind in my summer school work n he blamed himself for it…. so he decided to take a break until i was caught up. but on july 11th he n i both broke up. but it was a mutaul breakup. but the next day, i went to the mall and i saw him there. we were going to hang out. but since the break had started, hed been talking to my older sister a lot. like ALOT. and yet she denied it. n the whole time wed been dating, every time he would come over, she would try to get close to him in some way. but when i was at the mall, those two wanted to be alone for a while. so my other sister n i were told to go around the mall by ourselves. but decided to start stalking them…. and we saw them holding hands, but my older sister looked behind and saw us so they quickly seperated…. but later they and my sister n i all met up in front of a store and sat on the benches there. and my ex kept on putting his head on my sisters shoulder n stuff. by the way, hes 14 n shes 17 n im 14 too. so when we were there, i decided to sit on another bench. i pretended to be in my mind n shit. but when i looked over either he was paying so much attention to her, or looking at me for a second. the whole time we were there, he couldnt stop glancing at me. we dated for almost ten months. n he saved me from another shitty relationship were i wouldve killed myslef…. but we were close, we wanted to have kids oneday n everything….. is there a possibility of us getting back together???? btw, my sister told me maybe oneday we would get back together. when we get into high school or sumthin….. are we ever gonna get back together? i was all emotional n stuff the whole time we were at the mall….. i just hope so… pls answer ASAP… okay?!!!
Brittany

July 1, 2015 at 10:27 pm

Hey Chris
Mine is a bit tricky. My ex and I were on and off for three years. He kept leading me on saying I had a chance and then I found out he was lying to me and he said he was seeing someone but turned out it was a lie but he freaked out and just recently called cops on me saying I have been stalking though I have proof and evidence of him flirting with me and ppl have seen him with me being super lovey dovey but he is telling lies and broke my heart so I have a bit of trusting issues. What do I do if he called the cops when I didn’t do anything wrong and I wasn’t contacting him I contacted the girl and he told me not to talk to him and I didn’t I have been nc officially for a week. Please help

« Previous 1 … 9 10 11 12 13 … 28 Next »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

1,415 thoughts on “This Is How You Know If Your Ex Still Loves You”