How To Know If Your Ex Boyfriend Still Loves You - Signs Your Ex Is Still Interested

1,415 thoughts on “This Is How You Know If Your Ex Still Loves You”

Atin

December 12, 2015 at 7:36 pm

Hi Chris,

My ex and I work together in same office. We’ve met in work, we dated for 3 month and broke up because of pressure, things were moving too fast and i think both of us panicked. Being all day together caused many misunderstandings . It’s been a month since we broke up and during this month we were kind to each-other, we keep going out together with colleague and keep talking in group chat(on Facebook) but we never talk about us. During this time i wrote his 2 or 3 times on facebook chat but nothing personal(only for work or something like that) He asked me if i was going in an exhibition last week and we went together after that we went out with our friends(people still think we are together and we don’t mind). I really want to get back together but he’s not saying or doing anything, at the same time I can’t follow “No Contact Rule” because i see him everyday. I don’t know what to do but it hurts seeing him everyday and not being with him.
Angie

December 9, 2015 at 5:04 am

I am so confused. have been with a guy for just over a year. In Feb this year I was on your site reading as he just like broke it off randomly and ran away twice sometimes I think because he like me too much (I know sounds weird). We did eventually fall back together and at that point he committed, brought his kids into my life, met the mum, really became a couple! Things been good since March, no running, only tiny one off tiff! Were making the big move of moving in together this month after a bit of preparation for a couple of months…..
10 days ago I picked a lil fight with him, saying I didn’t think I was special enough coz he didn’t stay at my house with his kids after I was away with work for 4x nights. Although he had offered to pick me up and have dinner but kids were having good sleep coz we were having late one night after. In hindsight now I think I am such a dick as he was making an effort I was being grumpy and stupid! Well since then he has disappeared!! He disconnected and ran. Randomly said he doesn’t know if he can handle the noise with all our kids together and if he cant he will hurt his kids when he moves them, then 2 days later he is saying his son (6yo) screams whenever he drops him to the mum and he cant handle and he wants to be a fulltime dad, not fair he with my kids always if he only sees his 6/14 days… then he truly considers returning to their mum so he can do that. He said he doesn’t love her, he loves me but he’ll just live his own life he just wants his kids. He left their mum just under 6 years ago. He is very scared of hurting his kids. I feel selfish writing this but our kids get on really well, his kids love me and me them. He is quite introverted and not a great communicator, seems to run. For last 9 months he always pursues me then all of a sudden I became xtra needy seeking an explanation. we met 2 nights ago he was good for a start then a wall went up then we ended up going home together. I know he wanted to spend time with me otherwise he wouldn’t have sat for 2.5 hours as he is so stubborn when he wants he will just walk… I dropped earring in his bed and told him to check yesterday. After that I told him I was not gonna contact him, he needs time, confirmed we wil, chat when he feels clearer and that we are together and wont go with other people. Am I clutching on straws that he will choose me. Because I don’t hear from him I am scared he is talking himself out of being with me even though he loves me….. This morning for the first time in 10 days he initiated a txt saying he found my earring at 645 this morning. Part of me was happy he thought of me, that must suck coz he would have found that last night…….I thought maybe he felt my energy retreating… I am going no contact I will not initiate. Is he stuffed in the head? I can see his fear with the kids but he is so irrational and his behaviour had not been evident leading up to our argument he was consistent seeking me out….. Any insight???? Will he just ditch at then end and run away cause its too hard… Its so hard to be told I love u, but he currently isn’t choosing me.
Aki

December 9, 2015 at 12:29 am

Hi Chris, I’ve been friends with my ex after a month of our break up. Before, he was nice and sweet and caring but as time passed by he doesn’t seem to care anymore. I sometimes think that he hates me so much because sometimes he answeres me as if i was irritating him. I badly want him back that’s why I accepted him as friend. I really don’t know what to do anymore. It feels so heavy in my heart to think about this. I really want your help.
Abc

December 7, 2015 at 12:28 pm

Hi Chris

My bf broke up with me recently after 11 months of dating. He said he was tired of the fighting and arguing and just didn’t have the energy for our relationship. I still love him and i really hope he gives us a second chance.

Chris Seiter

December 7, 2015 at 3:36 pm

What steps have you been taking to win him back?

Aliah

November 28, 2015 at 7:39 am

What does it mean if he won’t even look at me anymore. Like at school he sees me all the time with one of his best friends Harry and he won’t even look anywhere but the ground if I’m around, and if he’s talking to Nathan and Harry drags me other there with them he gets quiet. His friend Nathan likes to tease him and say hey Jake isn’t that your ex girlfriend and things like that every time they see me so then Jake gets quiet and won’t say a word.

Lexi

December 27, 2015 at 4:21 pm

I have the exact same problem but I’m still in love with him and I don’t know what to do. He literally ignores me unless I talk to him (I broke the NC rule cuz I didn’t read this) but he still like says hi to my sisters and sometimes me. HELP

aw

November 24, 2015 at 2:39 pm

Hello, need some help. My boyfriend and I were together about 6 months. We were really close, like best friends. We talked about everything. We got along great except the fights we would get into, which were my fault. I have really big trust issues. He never gave me a reason not to trust him. I just didn’t. We got in a really big fight because I didn’t trust him and we broke up. He ended up coming back that night and we had sex. He kept telling me he hated me for not making him love me anymore. He ended up coming back 2 more times that week. We brought our kids trick or treating together. When we parted ways he told me he would text me later and hugged me. He did later on text me. He told me he might come over for dinner the next night and never came. And when I asked him why he gave me an attitude. We didn’t talk much that week. Until Friday he asked me to come over. Told me I could stay with him but I ended up going there and having sex then leaving. Then he text me the next morning and said “good morning”. I told him I got a job offer and he was very proud of me. The next day he text me and asked if he could come get his things from me. I told him I was really confused about what was going on between us because he is so up and down. He told me “all we are going to be for now is friends” I told him the only thing I can hope for is that eventually he will see thatbim trying to change and be a better person. He said “maybe in do time, I’m not perfect either”. We didn’t really talk all week the Friday comes and he asks if maybe Sunday or Monday he could come get his things from me and also would like to talk to me. Of course I agreed on Sunday because I had a lot going on Monday. When Sunday came he never showed. I text him to ask if he was coming and he said “sorry something came up can we do it tomorrow instead”. I told him I was sorry but had too much going on and I’d bring his stuff to him and drop it off on his door step. But to please not text me again. (OK that was a little rude) he got mad and said “be safe in your adventures and its nice we can still be friends right? Lol” I said “we are nothing you made that clear. I’m sick of your head games” he said “sorry you feel that way, you win and I’ll lose your number”. I got mad and called him and bawled my eyes out over his voicemail for like 3 mins. (I had been drinking) he called me back about 40 mins later and we argued a little bit. He told me you don’t just fall out of love with someone but all we can be is friends because we fight too much. We talked for about 40 mins. We sat and joked around about the football game and it seemed like we were friends again for that small bit of time. When we hung up I said “hey please don’t lose my phone number” he said even tho you hate me? Which he knowsiI don’t. And he said “just please hang on to my stuff for a little bit longer” I agreed. We didn’t talk again until Friday I text him and asked if I could drop off his stuff cause I was out and he text back and said “I’m not around sorry, I’ll get it next weekend” and that was the last I’ve heard from him. This is day 4 of not hearing from him. I am trying to do no contact. Mostly because I feel like I have a lot of my own issues to work out. Which I am. My biggest question here is, do you think I pushed him too far away? Do you think I have a chance again? He told my mom the second week we were broken up that when we could both sitdown and talk about things then maybe we could work it out. II’m so confused and lost on where he stands. And if I’m crazy to think we might have another chance. I’m scared he’s going to move on.
Evelyn

November 20, 2015 at 12:18 am

Hi chris, so me and my x were together for almost 3 years and we broke up months ago but we still talked and went out until recently. I told him i really want to be with him and i even cried to him! And he told me he needed his space, that we cant be together because he has flashbacks of the arguments we had and he’ll never forgive me (all i did was have guy friends who are all married now) he said he’ll never trust me and that he needs his space so i gave him his space for 3 weeks i told him to block my number and he did but i broke down and texted him a couple times and he got mad he said i wasnt giving him his space and that the way he got over me was because he has hate for me and so that night i went over and i was mad so i told him he didnt care about me and that he lied to me about everything and once again he got mad and said i was dumb if i really thought he didnt care but if he cared he wouldnt put me thru this right? So after that night that we talked I havent talked to him or made any contact with him but i feel like he already moved on, he told me he had a friend (who’s a girl) that had helped him move on and get over me but since i was still around he couldnt get over me, he told me they were going on a run and they were gonna be by my job and i was like okay why should it matter and he was like well i dont want you to act up if you see us together and i was confused, so the night that i did act up and i told him he didnt care he texted me the next morning and said i better not act up if i see him with a girl. Does that mean he has someone else already? But he told me he was acting the heartless role so he wouldnt get hurt but i dont want to hurt him, i miss him and i think about him all day but i honestly think I’m dead to him already because he hasnt texted me at all. He still wants me to cut his hair so does that mean he still wants me around? When i told him if he would reconsider in the future he said “ill see” but thats what i told him when he told me he wanted to get back together. I feel like i messed up by crying to him and being pushy, i need help.lol
Claire

November 18, 2015 at 8:44 am

Hey,

I have been in a LDR for 2 and a half years with my boo. He’s a lovely introvert, with a lot of drama in his life. His dad left him when he was 3, his mom told him the truth when he was 18, a lot of failed relationships with women who cheated and so on.
We had a lovely friendship and everything was completely amazing, I helped him pursuing his career (cv letters job finding accommodation car – since he moved to another country last yr. We were cool, I even visited him there took me to work went on a trip to visit Europe after ) and he became a little distant, I became needy and told him so many ugly things and he completely changed his opinion about me and blamed me for everything. He was tellig me that he hasnt got time for a personal life and. He even told me everything I have ever said to him ( I accused him of so many woman-ish shit ) and it was awful to hear it from him. We should have moved in together this fall. I admitted I was wrong about how I dealt with telling him that he owns me everything, but still, he became colder and colder, still telling me that I’m ” everything and nothing at the same time “, sharing different motivational videos and his problems. His work has become crazy and so did I. Now his uncle went to him and I helped that man find work and everything while I was in NC with boyfriend. I avoided talking to his uncle while they were both at home. I haven’t spoken to him since the 21st Oct when I told him something and he hadn’t replied and I blocked him on Facebook. He sent me an email asking for my opinion on something ( he could have lived without it ), both on my Gmail and yahoo accounts. I haven’t replied. Nothing ever since.
I miss him. I quit smoking since the day we stopped talking – he is against smoking – I got a new hair color, I have managed to keep my emotions to myself and got a retrospective over how I forgot to be the lovely girl that he was in a relationship for more than 2 years. What în the world am I supposed to do ? I love him and I bet his feelings for me aren’t completely extinct. What if there is someone else he met there while I cut him off ? Why hasn’t he contacted me ? He used to tell me that if I ever decided to give up, he won’t chase me. But we have such an amazing compatibility with perfect friendship, amazing sexual life ( we used to see each other every 2 months , he took me to his work place, met his family, everything was going in the right direction until he got cold feet ), great food, amazing memories of all sorts of stuff. Now what ?

Claire

November 18, 2015 at 8:45 am

He’s also a taurus, you share the same birthdate! Haha

Kait

November 11, 2015 at 12:59 pm

Hi Chris, I know you get thousands of messages like this, but I really need some advice. I think I’ve completely blown my chances of ever getting my ex back, even if I do follow your guides/advice. Basically we’ve been on and off for over a year now and we argue a lot, he never apologises after arguments and will just ignore me for the rest of the day or even for a day+ where as I’ll apologise most of the time regardless and I hate being ignored, especially by him, and then when he does speak to me he just acts normal again or sometimes he’ll say things like ‘going to be a normal gf or still an angry troll’ I admit when we argue at times I can say some really horrible and unforgivable things, but so has he. He’s said many times over the past months that he doesn’t love me and hasnt wanted to be with me for months now. It’s mostly him who breaks up with me, I’ve only ever broken up with him I’ve but I didn’t mean it. He’s also said that he’s only taken me back because I made him or wouldn’t leave him alone. Now last week we had a huge fight on Sunday and things got so bad and again he said were over and that he doesn’t love me anymore and that once I leave his house I won’t be setting foot in there ever again. Things got broken and he got angry and pushed me but I replaced the broken things and got them sent to his house. He text me after the break up saying he got the items but he can’t accept them knowing how he feels about us and that he sees no future for us and doesn’t see us ever working. I tried to do no contact but failed on day 3 🙁 and text him back saying ‘Hey, I was just thinking about the first time we went to the cinema together to see Jurassic World, it was so good. I am glad we did that.’ But because he didn’t reply I turned into a text gnat and then said ‘could we talk please? I don’t like how things were left.’ He replied ‘I enjoyed the good times we had too but things arent the same and we argue too much, please send me your address so i can return the items as it doesnt feel right’ I responded ‘I don’t want to lose you, so will you please work with me to make our relationship work again, I know I don’t deserve it but I care for you deeply and I love you..I want you to keep the them, I’m sorry.’ And again he didn’t respond so I text him again saying ‘Please just talk with me, even if you hate me, please hear me out.’ He responded saying ‘it’s over I sorry, there’s nothing else I can say’ I continued to keep begging him to take me back and him not replying and when he I asked him if he loved me he said no sorry and he also said he won’t be contacting me anymore and i really dont want to upset you more and talking is doing that, you are more than welcome to let me send the items back, other than that good bye. I continued to bombard him with messages and calls, he replied no my minds made up..I continued to message and call him the next day too but no reply. It’s not been almost 3 days I haven’t heard from him and I’m absolutely terrified of losing him. I didn’t text him today so this is the first day I haven’t contacted him for..I want to try the no contact but I always end up caving in. Do you think the Nc rule will get him to speak to me or even give us a chance of ever getting back together? Please help.

Chris Seiter

November 17, 2015 at 2:32 am

It sounds like he’s physically abusive! That could get very dangerous. I’d recommend not getting back with him.

Jess

November 10, 2015 at 11:25 pm

I have a quick question that I don’t think you have covered – we’ve been broken up for 6 months, I casually message him once a month or so (my bad). I didn’t know about the NC rule until now. He has neutraly agreed to see me for drinks next week but we haven’t set a date or time. Do I begin the NC rule now and forget the meet up? Or do I meet up and then begin the NC rule? 🙂
Katt Paiige

October 31, 2015 at 9:03 am

Me and my ex are at uni together so we do bump into each other on campus; i’m trying to no contact rule but obviously it’s hard to when i see him around and he says hi to me. It’s my birthday next week, if he messages me do i message back? My friends think he must still like me, as he broke up with me a month a go unexpectedly saying “we outgrew each other” of which I didn’t agree with, we were completely fine and it was a random break up. If he sees me he still says hi and asks how I am and my friends have said he looks for me in a crowd- so that must be a good sign he cares right?
Jerolinca

October 30, 2015 at 5:46 pm

Me and my boyfrien broke up yesterday. i was cooking, he went in and told me he is tired of me and he likes another girl. I was so angry i went straight to take my luggage and come to my friends house. One year dating, crumbled and shattered like glass.

I have been living with his family for two months and i am trouble finding a job. As a sensitive person, i cried a lot and quick to get outrage and then he said he was tired of me getting moody. He gave me chances to improve but i didnt do it enough. I cried a lot and depended on him too much, i have come to realize.

Then he cheated on me, because he needs a fresh air. He blocks my fb now. He doesn’t want to talk to me. Tomorrow I will come to take the rest of my luggage.

He cheated before with his first long term lover, then he had several ones before we dated. I trusted him and now he betrayed my trust. He wanted me to go away, he deletes fb account, he deletes my friends account. He owns me money but he hasnt paid yet, he treats me like shit and he told me i broke his phone while i was angry so he would deduct it from the debt. He shocked me too much.
I love him and he is acting like an ass.

Tomorrow i want to talk to him about what we have been through, to see if we can remain good impression of each others. His family also dislikes me, as he said, because i ran away from their homes aggressively shut the door and they disliked it, it hurts me like hell. I wonder if he would ever want to go back again in this situation.
Person

October 26, 2015 at 3:14 am

I was in a relationship with this really nice guy and he was my brothers friend but I loved him any way.but the after we have ben together for four weeks he broke up with me because he felt like he was dating his sister.but he didn’t even tell me in person he broke up with me through my brother.but I still love him and I don’t know how to git him back.??and he was my first kiss

Chris Seiter

December 4, 2015 at 5:57 am

Do no contact.
Person

October 26, 2015 at 3:16 am

What should I do?

Gianna Yamal

October 19, 2015 at 1:41 pm

I was in a relationship for half a year with my ex and “accidentally” broke up with him. He started off with “Gianna, we need to talk. This isn’t working” and then let a long silence happen. Naturally, I thought he was breaking up with me but it turns out he just wanted to talk about whatever was bothering him. I convinced him to meet me to talk, however he was not willing to talk he just wanted to hear what I wanted to say and after asking him if he wanted to take another chance on the relationship he said no and started to say things to hurt me (things that were untrue). He sounded very different that day like someone had coached him into telling me specific things to hurt me.

Anywho, he’s an odd duck. I know that he really cared for me because he introduced me to his parents a few weeks before without me having to ask. We’re both very dedicated to college band, so we see each other at least twice or more times a week. I’ve ignored him this entire time (which as of today is a month) and he’s said “hi” to me twice without me initiating anything. He also seems to go out of his way to go in front of me or attract attention to himself to show that he’s having a good time without me. He also looks at me from time to time to see if I’m looking at him (which I have slowly taught myself not to do). So, I think he may still have feelings for me. The other day, after a long roadtrip for band, I went up to him, touched his arm, and said bye. He told me bye but didn’t make eye contact. After I left, ten min later I saw him looking for me at the bus stop I wait at and he did a double take when he saw me off to the side.

So, after all of this, do you think he has feelings for me? Do you think its a good thing for me to touch his arm to say bye? And what’s the best approach? More no contact?

Chris Seiter

October 19, 2015 at 4:37 pm

It sounds like you hurt his ego so he acted out because of that. What did you say when he said “Hi” to you a couple of times? I think he definetly has feelings for you. I think you should not go to the college band for a week and then reach out to him via text. Read the post on using text messages to get your ex back. https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/using-text-messages-to-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back/

GiGi

October 13, 2015 at 2:21 pm

After NC we have been texting he wants to keep in contact he has phoned me , but says meeting up again again shall reopen wounds and would be too tempted if he saw me. As a committed friend he,s shall always be there. That is a comfort to me as I value our Friendship . I asked what did i do wrong ? He Nothing , its him Classic response .Do you think I should continue hoping that one day we shall see each other? Or do I return to the NC again? Or just keep going along being friends and maybe he feels its safe again to see me ? Your advice has been spot on And Thnk You for helping so many of us this Place is a great comfort xx
Charlotte

September 27, 2015 at 8:23 am

Hi Chris,
Thanks for such useful posts. I’m in an in between category not covered. The guy and I were extremely close friends for three years. At the start when he made a move I told him there was nothing romantic going on. We both got together with other people. Then my boyfriend dumped me and the guy helped me recover being an amazing support. We got into non-Plutonic territory and he broke up with his girlfriend. We dated for a month having the most amazing time but he then told me he had to go back to her (he hasn’t told her what happened with us). I’m devastated and tried going back to being his friend but felt too deceived and jealous. I’m now three weeks into NC. Any ideas how this will pan out? He has been my biggest support since I’ve known him and we had a great bond and love but being friends with him is now so painful because I want more.x
Sarah

September 24, 2015 at 11:05 am

Hi, my ex boyfriend and I broke up 3 months ago we have been for 3 years. He was so busy with his practicum thats why i gave him time to finish all of his stuff a month ago we had a chance to talk and he told me that he is already happy with his new friends and he dosent want me back anymore he also told me that there is no other girl involved he is just enjoying his new life now. I tried the no contact rule but i failed i was just so scared that he will forget about me since he told me that he is enjoying his new life. I also did some stupid stuff like begging and crying infront of him. Do you think the no contact rule would still be effective of i will try again?
Arya

September 14, 2015 at 9:51 pm

Hey chris, my ex and I started talking again after a month of nc. He texted me saying he had a nightmare about someone trying to use me and it upset him. Hence he is reaching out to make sure I am okay. We started talking almost everyday. And then, he stopped initiating contact. Moreover, his brother had a baby and he didn’t even tell me! I am confused, he told me he would like to visit sometime soon if we could keep things platonic but he also flirts a lot with me sexually. What’s happening?

Person

October 26, 2015 at 5:53 pm

Hey maybe he wants you but he document think you want him

ABZ

September 14, 2015 at 1:02 pm

Hi , So my question probably most of the girls think about; when a guy says that he loves me and dont want to break up does he really mean this ? or he means please leave me alone , let me chase you and stop being so available ?

A

December 27, 2015 at 2:35 am

I hope so cause that’s what us girls are gonna do, right..it makes since dont it..lol

Jancy

September 10, 2015 at 12:16 am

A boyfriend of 11 years broke up with my over the past weekend for a girl that he met 5-6 times before, whom he knew through an online app. He told me his feelings for me has been declining since July (not too long ago..). The girl confessed to him the night before and after he thought through it, he decided to broke up with me for her because he feels “happier” to be with her than me (my boyfriend has depression, so happiness is very important I guess). He felts that the girl that he has met 5-6 times is a better fit for him because she is “better” than me on almost everything (better education – she is a Pharm D; better family background – her family is wealthier and they are more compatible because she likes his jokes) except for the fact that him and I have longer history. He said he does not feel I appreciate him enough.
We have been very sweet over the past 11 years so I begged him for another chance and he refused as he said he need to respect the girl. I really want him back. Any advice?

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1,415 thoughts on “This Is How You Know If Your Ex Still Loves You”