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D
May 29, 2017 at 5:30 pm
When he dumped me, he said several things – he couldn’t be in a relationship right now because his life was a mess, he didn’t want to destroy his son by letting him get attached to another woman, he couldn’t have a girlfriend,….and yet three weeks later he’s dating another girl. Maybe he was even talking to her before he dumped me. We were talking a bit before he met her, but then out of the blue, he starts ignoring me. To which I freak out a bit and started gnatting him. I know, mistake. He recently went official with her on Facebook, and told me I was being obsessive and that I needed time to heal, so he unfriended me and made all his posts private. I’m doing 45 days NC, but I’m not even sure if he’s going to reply to me even after that since he fell in love again so quickly.
I helped him through some of the hardest points in his life and he just cuts me out like a tumor. Do I even have a chance at this point?
D
May 29, 2017 at 5:32 pm
Like, I feel like he expected me to be over him dumping me out of the blue as quickly as he got over me, and now he’s okay with waltzing women in and out of his son’s life, even though I heard him say repeatedly that’s a terrible thing to do to a kid.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 30, 2017 at 5:44 pm
if you want to move on now, that’s ok.. if you don’t, make the most of nc by focusing in yourself.. if he doesn’t reply, at least you know you did what you can in a dignified way..
Leah
May 29, 2017 at 10:24 am
I was with my boyfriend for 2 years. About 2 months ago he decided he was unhappy and we broke up but he wanted to continue to be friends. But when a mutual friend told me about stuff he was saying about another girl I stopped messaging him because it hurt. He was already in a relationship or was about to begin one with someone else not even a week after our 2 year relationship ended!! The worst part was that he had been friends with her for 6 months and I didn’t find her a threat because they weren’t very close. So I found ex boyfriend recovery and started the 30 day no contact rule. I went for one month and about 2 weeks until I messaged him again (which was about 3-4 days ago) and our conversations have been going pretty well. But is this a rebound relationship? Or do you think he just liked her during our relationship and wanted to be with her instead. I just don’t know how to get him back even though I’ve been reading up on it since we broke up!!
D
May 30, 2017 at 6:45 pm
I don’t think I want to move on just yet….I’m just scared I ruined any chance of him ever wanting to speak to me again. I’d made the decision to do 45 days before he cut me out, but now I’m just sick with anxiety over the fact that he might’ve fallen for someone else in the time it took me to even process the fact that we were over. How do you stay present with someone who unfriended you? We don’t have any mutual friends anymore because they all unfriended me within hours of him dumping me and immediately friended the new girl and are all fawning over her. She seems perfect in every way, able to give him everything he wants, and he didn’t even have to work for it – all it took was meeting her a week after he dumped me. It was like clockwork for him. They do all kinds of things I had no idea he was even interested in. She even has a kid his son’s age, so she’s got one more thing over childless me. They’re all over each other on Facebook and he got a bit defensive when a couple people expressed confusion over their new relationship (“We’re dating, nothing confusing about it”).
I feel pretty alone these days and I don’t understand much. All I do understand is that I’m still in love with him – I feel like he’s my other half, and I know this because I’ve always taken relationships slowly in terms of emotion. I didn’t fall for him right off the bat. But I want to know what I did to make his feelings fall away and if I can rekindle them.
I guess what I’m trying to say is….at the end of 45 days, will he be thinking “phew, she’s gone, thank fuck” or “I wonder where she went?”
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 31, 2017 at 3:41 pm
he’ll probably wonder.. and if he does, will he regret leaving you with what he discovers being curious about you?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 30, 2017 at 4:45 pm
it’s a grass is greener.. check this one:
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends
Molly
May 27, 2017 at 9:30 am
Me and my ex have been friends for 9 years and we were together unofficially for 3 years and together officially for 2 years… We initially split up for about 3 days but then we agreed that we’d see how things Go, so we kept hanging out and doing the regular couple things we were doing before and even went on holiday together. But then we agreed that we should stop seeing eachother and focus on our own lives for a bit, but only a month after that was said he started hanging out with this other girl which I found disrespectful, at first he wouldn’t tell me if they were just friends or more, then I found out they were more than friends so I stopped speaking to him, I also feel like he was replicating our special moments with her… Is she a rebound or has he moved on from our relationship? I mean he didn’t really have a break between us so I don’t know when he got the chance to even get our relationship…
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 27, 2017 at 5:56 pm
it can be a rebound to replace having somebody by his side because you were his friend for 8 more months.. so, he’s used to having somebody by his side.. but you should approach it like he has moved on from you if you want to try again.. check this one:
EBR 012: How To Get Out Of The “Friend Zone” With Your Ex Boyfriend
Molly
May 26, 2017 at 9:52 pm
My ex and I were friends for 9 years and we were together unofficially for 3 years but together officially for 2 and b years, when we initially split up we said that we’d still still see how things go and we still hung out for 8 more months and did the normal couple stuff we used to do, even going on holiday together etc, but then we agreed to stop seeing eachother to allow us time to focus on our own lives for a bit, but a month later from when we stopped seeing eachother, he was already hanging out with a new girl and this angered me because I felt disrespected at how quickly he’d “replaced” me and what we had… Is he in a rebound relationship and filling the void of not having me to hang out with or has he simply moved on.
Molly
June 9, 2017 at 6:36 pm
As we have a mutual friend in common, the other day I went to that mutual friends party, my ex wasn’t there but he saw a video of me dancing around with the friend (the friend is a guy) and he sent a text the next day annoyed about it… I’ve also stopped reacting angrily to things he does and not texting him when I see things that annoy me, but ever since then I feel like he’s doing things to purposely annoy me like blocking and unblocking me off social media and then posting things that he knows I’ll see and will annoy me… but I don’t get why he’d be annoyed about the dancing or trying to get my attention if he claims to be happy with the new girl
Molly
May 31, 2017 at 9:58 pm
When they first started hanging he hinted that he wasn’t over me… When I stopped talking to him, he messaged saying it’s hard for him to not be in my life but it’s what has to happen if we want to move on from eachother and that we should distract ourselves with other things… Could he have been hinting he’s using her as a distraction? I mean without me, he really doesn’t have any other friends to hang out with as they’re in either in relationships or living far away from him and he was used to having me to do stuff with, he hasn’t told his family about her, and he’s the type to mask his feelings rather than face them head on
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 1, 2017 at 5:35 pm
if she’s a rebound, yes
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 27, 2017 at 5:57 pm
it can be a rebound to replace having somebody by his side because you were his friend for 8 more months.. so, he’s used to having somebody by his side.. but you should approach it like he has moved on from you if you want to try again.. check this one:
EBR 012: How To Get Out Of The “Friend Zone” With Your Ex Boyfriend
Jadyn
May 23, 2017 at 6:01 pm
Not sure if this posted. I thought I posted it yesterday but it was still in the comment box when I came back to check.. Day 16 on my second attempt at no contact. I was on about day 20 when he told me he has been seeing somebody else. I replied (DANG). He told me how he is not in a relationship with her but just seeing where it goes. 2 nights ago my friend (our mutual friend) tells me that he is introducing her to all of them that night (i didn’t ask for this information, she just wanted me to know that she is in town and I could possible bump into them… our town has a population of 1600 people, so its very easy to do). And guess what, we ended up at the same May long weekend party. She was all over him, he was all over her, they danced (he hates dancing and would only danced with me when I begged). She stole his hat several times like I use to do to him… and when he wasnt paying attention I noticed she was flirting with acouple other guys. So now that I know who this girl is I realized she works with him (surprise surprise) and they had been snapchatting each other for awhile (i trusted him and thought nothing of it when he was). My ex was bragging to my friends about how she gets him and how they are so awesome together… My first thought is total grass is greener rebound relationship. Heck my ex and I have been best friends for 5 years, dated unofficially for 3 of those and dated officially for 2. We lived together for a year, were about to buy a house together (we looked at a house less than 2 weeks before the break up) and had so many other plans. Is this a rebound? Do we still have a chance (if i decide I want him back after nc)? Do you have any tips on how to deal with this girl if I end up seeing her?
Jadyn
May 31, 2017 at 12:09 am
Sorry. I am a huge overthinker, it is something I have always done. So I just realized my 30 days no contact will end on what would have been our official 2 year anniversary. Should I extend NC for afew extra days or use is this a good thing? At first I thought it was fate. But maybe it’ll push him away more because of the significance of the date.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 31, 2017 at 4:29 pm
yup, extend it a few more days.
Jadyn
May 27, 2017 at 6:37 pm
So finish NC, then build rapport while still improving what needs to be improved. I could see her telling him to block me and stop letting me see my dog from jealousy. If she is the one helping him void the pain of our break-up I am scared he will listen. Doesn’t seem likely with how supportive he has been with letting me see our dog and even offering to let me have him for a whole weekend if I want. But I feel like she might have some secret power being the person who is voiding the pain and getting him past our relationship. Maybe I am overthinking this. I just don’t know this girl at all, and my ex bragged to my best friend how she is so perfect and gets him so well. How do I deal with her being in the picture?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 29, 2017 at 5:59 pm
yeah, you’re over thinking.. if she is forbidding him to do things, then in the long run it will hurt her, because you’re not doing anything bad.. You’re just being a good pet parent, and to be frank, being a civil ex.. so, dont worry much about her.
Jadyn
May 25, 2017 at 6:05 pm
From what I’ve seen of her is that she kind of reminds me of me afew years ago. Only Difference being is more mechanical than I am, they are both mechanics… she is apprenticing with or on the same crew as my journeyperson ex. I don’t know what to think.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 27, 2017 at 2:13 pm
you need to keep improving even after nc, and being active in posting.. if you could do that while slowly building rapport, you have a chance.. if you can go back to being an ungettable girl, yep, there’s a chance..
Jadyn
May 25, 2017 at 3:23 am
I know they talked before the break up as they just started working together in the last few months. I don’t know how much they have talked but I do know they did. I might be naive to think that he didn’t think she was better until after we broke up. I believe she probably just swooped in and was there for him when the breakup happened. I think by the end of my NC I will have really changed. At this point I am still in the process of working on my communication skills, time management of self paced school and working full time. I feel like I am different compared to then but I don’t know if he will see the change quite yet. It is a work in progress. I need to lift myself up some more, I am still having difficulties getting out of bed on weekends and finding a purpose to fill my whole day. Weekdays seem to be much much better. In either case would you say I have a chance if I keep making positive changes in myself? Be brutally honest. I don’t want false hope, I want to move forward. Thanks for your time 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 24, 2017 at 2:15 pm
if they talked before the break up, and he found her better and broke up with you, she’s a grass is greener. If he just dated and paid attention to her after the break up, even if he found her better now but not when he was with you, it’s more likely a rebound.. whichever it is, you can only control yourself and you can improve yourself.. If he would compare you now to the old you, would he say you really changed? would he regret not being with you?
Jadyn
May 22, 2017 at 7:38 pm
Day 15 on my second attempt at no contact. I was on about day 20 when he told me he has been seeing somebody else. I replied (DANG). He told me how he is not in a relationship with her but just seeing where it goes. 2 nights ago my friend (our mutual friend) tells me that he is introducing her to all of them that night (i didn’t ask for this information, she just wanted me to know that she is in town and I could possible bump into them… our town has a population of 1600 people, so its very easy to do). And guess what, we ended up at the same May long weekend party. She was all over him, he was all over her, they danced (he hates dancing and would only danced with me when I begged). She stole his hat several times like I use to do to him… and when he wasnt paying attention I noticed she was flirting with acouple other guys. So now that I know who this girl is I realized she works with him (surprise surprise) and they had been snapchatting each other for awhile (i trusted him and thought nothing of it when he was). My ex was bragging to my friends about how she gets him and how they are so awesome together… My first thought is total grass is greener rebound relationship. Heck my ex and I have been best friends for 5 years, dated unofficially for 3 of those and dated officially for 2. We lived together for a year, were about to buy a house together (we looked at a house less than 2 weeks before the break up) and had so many other plans. Is this a rebound? Do we still have a chance (if i decide I want him back after nc)? Do you have any tips on how to deal with this girl if I end up seeing her?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 24, 2017 at 2:15 pm
if they talked before the break up, and he found her better and broke up with you, she’s a grass is greener. If he just dated and paid attention to her after the break up, even if he found her better now but not when he was with you, it’s more likely a rebound.. whichever it is, you can only control yourself and you can improve yourself.. If he would compare you now to the old you, would he say you really changed? would he regret not being with you?
Saree
May 20, 2017 at 1:54 am
My ex and I broke up in January. He moved acroas the country very suddenly but we stayed in contact until a few weeks ago. In February, he told me he missed me and he knew he messed up and he cared too much about me so he wanted to be friends. I agreed but once I started moving on to someone new, he was really nosey about it. About a month ago in April I freaked out on him about minding his own business and that is when I initiated NC (so basically 3 1/2 months after our break up), and next week will be the 30 day mark. I wasnt sure if I should break it next week but then I learned that he is in a new relationship today. Is it a rebound since it’s only been 4 months, or could it possibly be that he really cares for this girl? I’m just not too sure what to think. I’m not TOO torn up about it, I mean if it’s time to move on then it’s time to move on but it would be nice to be sure…
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 21, 2017 at 6:29 pm
More likely it”s a rebound..
Unblocked
April 17, 2017 at 2:29 pm
My ex blocked me for 3 months long story, so I blocked him on everything as well. Now he’s reaching out to me on the free app numbers calling and texting me. Telling me that the girl was a rebound because he thought I was cheating on him because I never had time for him and so he wanted to move on. He said he always compared her to me and realized he was trying to rush things with her. I haven’t texted him back or called because I don’t know his intentions I was so hurt 3 months ago even up until 2 weeks ago. I’m scared to let him back in to get hurt. Do you think we can ever be friends? How can we start slow to build trust and how can I know if he’s back for the right reasons?
Thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 22, 2017 at 3:34 pm
If he’s still with the other girl, then he’s not serious
Do you move on?
April 17, 2017 at 2:21 pm
Hello,
I wanted to know how long should the rebound relationship pat before you fully cut ties and move on? I understand you should be in NC and working on yourself but I guess I wanted to know when’s a good time to finally just say enough is enough.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 22, 2017 at 3:25 pm
There’s no concrete timeline..if it’s really just a rebound, it wouldn’t last long
Carike Van Zyl
April 16, 2017 at 8:00 pm
My ex and i were together for a year and a half. He broke up with me and a week later he was with someone else. He told me he didn’t cheat but friends at his college says him and his new gf spent alot of time together on campus. Is this a rebound or does he just not care about me anymore? He lost his virginity to me and we have been through so much together. How did he move on so quickly?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 20, 2017 at 11:42 am
Could be a grass is greener case
Donna
April 11, 2017 at 3:25 pm
So, my ex boyfriend an I was dating for 5 months. I inititated the break up due to insecurities and gut feelings. We reconnected, a month ago and he expressed that he still loved me. I expressed the same thing. One week later, I start seeing the same pattern that made me break up the first time. I now see him on social media with a girl who, I knew like him from his job. How could say he loves me sooo much and that I’m good for him, but yet going out on dates with this other woman?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 12, 2017 at 6:59 pm
do you mean you dont trust him and you want to move on?
Emma
April 7, 2017 at 6:45 pm
My ex and I were together for two years and always said that we were each other’s soulmates. We did long distance for about a year (me in America, him in australia), and he came home to visit for a few weeks. During that visit, we made plans for me to go there, talked about marriage, etc. He ended up breaking up with me a week after that visit ended, because he didn’t feel that me moving there was right for me at this point. He started dating a new girl within a couple of days. It sounds like it was cheating, but I know for sure that it wasn’t. He was suicidal when we split, went to a bar, and just went for the first girl he found. We’ve talked on and off since this happened (December 2015/January 2016), and he has always told me that she’s companionship because he knew he lost the lvoe of his life. They’ve been together for 1 year and 2-3 months now. Sometimes he tells me he doesn’t love her, other times he tells me that he does but it’s different, that the two can’t be compared. I always thought it was a rebound. To be honest, the girl is a serious downgrade and he’s voiced his concerns over her to me from the beginning. At one point, we decided to plan our future together again. And I guess he felt guilty that he was essentially cheating on her emotionally, and he pulled back. I cut contact at that point. Now he’s texting me constantly. Panicking over whether I’m okay, if I’m safe and healthy. He says he is so sorry and he wishes he could turn back time, etc ,etc. I don’t want to answer because I don’t want him to feel like he can pull this crap and then still have me by his side. I don’t know what to do. Is she a rebound? If so, why is he still with her? Why would he be contacting me so obsessively?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 10, 2017 at 3:07 pm
I think you need to check this one:
My Boyfriend Says He Wants To Date Me and Another Girl
Lisa
April 5, 2017 at 6:18 am
I broke up with my ex 7 weeks ago then wanted to try again a few weeks later he said no he just wanted to be single. So 2 weeks later i contacted him to return his stuff did that said my good byes and left then the next day he called me just for a chat. The following week i sent him a message suggesting that maybe we can be friends, he was working at the time and misread and thought i said i wanted to get back together, he replied and said no interested getting back with you.. so i deleted his number texts everything and decided not to initiate anything with him, then the following week he text me asking how i was i waited a while then politely answered that i was fine etc he replied instantly and i just left it after that. Then this week he calls i asked him why are you calling me? Did you have a rebound go sour? Anyway turns out he started seeing someone 2 weeks after we broke up it only lasted a few weeks and she dumped him. Now his calling me. Why i’m so confused?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 5, 2017 at 6:13 pm
HI Lisa,
to be honest, it’s probably because he knows you’re just there..
Emma
April 5, 2017 at 3:28 am
Me and my ex fiancé have been together for 3 years, and have a 6 month old baby. We were happy really happy until we had our baby, because I work, go to university and look after our baby I invested no time in him but he didn’t try to invest any in me either. Anyway we had been arguing and he told me he needed space he needed a break from us, he ensured me it wasn’t about girls his words were “why would i leave one relationship to get in another i won’t do that!” anyway… he left on 17th March in the evening to go on a night out, he didn’t return and cut all contact with me AND his son for 4 days straight. Then got back into contact to tell me he was at his mums and wasn’t coming home YET however he had all intentions on doing so. Meanwhile i see that he has a new “friend” that he met a week before the Friday evening that he had left. So i asked who she was he said just a friend… now today he’s set his facebook profile to in a relationship with her?! Is that a rebound and do you think it will last?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 5, 2017 at 5:40 pm
Hi Emma,
if he met he met her before breaking up with, she can be a grass is greener case.
Holly
April 3, 2017 at 8:47 am
My bf met someone a few days before breaking up with me. After we broke up he msged her the next day. Less than 2 months later they’re an item, albeit a long-distance once. We were together 4 years and he said after he broke up with me that he had been unhappy for awhile and been wanting to break up but didn’t want to hurt me. Is his new gf a rebound or could this be GIGS? Do I still have a chance to get him back?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 4, 2017 at 2:33 pm
Hi Holly,
it can be a gigs. Follow the advice on this one:
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends
Lauren
April 2, 2017 at 7:39 pm
Long story short me and my ex dated from 08-2014 and even when we broke up for 2 years we kept in contact. Since last March we have been trying to work on the relationship but having a lot of ups and downs he says I’m too busy for him and feels like I’m distant. In November I went on a 3month NC and slept with another guy several times when me and my ex spoke again in Dec he said he was hurt and couldn’t imagine I did anything like that. I didn’t think it mattered bc we were broken up. I initiated the NC. So to fast forward something came up on valentines this year and I ended up hanging out w my friends he got so upset bc he had plans bc I didn’t know he never said anything and mentioned that he didn’t bc it was a surprise. Then these past few months feb- till last week I’ve been outta town on spring break or out of town with family or busy with school. We barely talk on the phone bc I have limited service at my apt. And we only live 30 minutes away from eachother. I made a huge mistake taking him for granted and being lazy not seeing him. He doesn’t have a car so I always drive to him. He got in an argument w his last roommate over money and once the lease was up end of feb he ended up moving in with a couple of other friends But they are moving in a couple of months too. He mentioned he was stressed bc he didn’t know where he would live etc and I told him us living together right now would not be good. So with that backstory my current issue is from I haven’t seen him much in the past month and we’ve only been in the talking phase. 2 weeks ago I found out on fb that he that his status says in relationship I called him that night no stop he said he can’t trust me and he’s cares about me but I’m too busy for him. Even more info I found out is that he tells this new girl he loves her and wants to be with her forever and he told her he wants to move in with her. I called his phone constantly and texted for a few days while being Ijnored he told me to leave him and his gf alone and has blocked me on everything. I’m currently in 1 week NC. I feel horrible Bc I took him for granted. Everyone says he’s in a rebound and only wants to move in with her bc his emotions are all over the place. How could he block me out?
Lauren
April 16, 2017 at 1:28 pm
I really want to take time and work it out but I’m not sure if it classifies as a rebound or gigs? Which one do you think I should follow? He’s also telling her he loves her and wants to live with her why is he moving so fast?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 16, 2017 at 5:04 pm
Take it as gigs..it’s probably because they’re in a honeymoon period
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 4, 2017 at 10:59 am
Hi Lauren,
you didn’t take him for granted because you’re not in a relationship. You’re investing too much compared to him. If he says he wants you too, he should have given the same effort. For me, I think you should either move on or if you want to try again, do not give more than what he’s showing or giving too. It was just 30 minutes away, can’t he ride a bus or take a taxi?
Jo
March 31, 2017 at 10:58 pm
My BF of 2 years broke up with me jan 1st. He continued living with me a month and a half then I went abroad for a month and initiated no contact. When I came back we spent most of the week together as friends and then slept together.
Then a week later he told me he had been seeing a mutual friend since I’ve been away and She wanted him to tell me about him.
He says I’m his best friend and he won’t continue seeing her if he’ll loose me as a friend.
I asked him to tell her about us so that I’m not complicit in lying to my friend. He said he can’t face her atm.
Is this rebound? GIG? Shall I initiate no contact again? I read a shorter 2 weeks NC is useful when they rebound? Should I tell her what happened if he doesn’t or avoid meddling.
I see her regularly as she’s in my band and volunteers at the same place as me.
Jo
April 13, 2017 at 11:33 am
I spoke to them both and they Spoke to each other. I think they will continue their relationship. He wants to remain ‘best friends’ with me but I said I couldn’t be friends while they were involved.
Should I initiate no contact? How long for?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 13, 2017 at 7:34 pm
yes, you’re being friendzoned.. do at least 30 days.
Jo
April 3, 2017 at 3:05 pm
Hi, thanks for your reply. He moved out when they started seeing each other. But he’s back staying at mine for a few days or because he couldn’t stay at his current accommodation.
He hasn’t told her and is avoiding her atm but maybe will start seeing her again I’m not sure.
I see her a lot right now but haven’t said anything. She has autism and I’m worried about putting her under stress.
But I guess if he hasn’t told her by next week I might tell her then? Was just worried it would be meddling.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 4, 2017 at 3:14 pm
talk to your ex first about it, so it doesn’t seem like you’re going behind his back.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 2, 2017 at 3:22 pm
Hi Jo,
I think you three need to talk.. or you talk to her separately and him to her separately..and are you going to move out?
Lucy
March 29, 2017 at 8:28 am
Hi, thank you for this insight. I dated my ex for six months (after getting to know each other for three months), and then I broke up with him exactly two months ago because, even though I felt I loved him, I didn’t feel like *in love* with him. Looking back, our relationship was really unbalanced, with me putting all the energy into it. He didn’t quite know how to be a boyfriend because it was his first serious relationship, and also he has a very passive personality.
After our breakup we kept hooking up, with me convinced that it was not a good idea to be a couple again. A few days ago when we hooked up he told me a girl he used to hook up with from high school (he is 26 now, and back then they kind of had a non official relationship for seven months but never became a couple) had got in touch with him. Long story short, she asked for an opportunity with him and he agreed to that. Five days ago he told me that he didn’t believe they had much in common, he didn’t think she is too smart and that maybe they don’t share a sense of humor. And that if I asked to come back and be a couple again, he would not think about it and be with me. But these days apparently he decided that he wants to go for something new, because he kind of felt some things for her and he doesn’t wanna be rejected twice. He is choosing the new thing over me, even though I was offering to try and work things out and see if it would lead to a more balanced relationship. What should I make of this? Regardless of getting him back –at this point I think I need to consider him dead. Is this really happening for him, that he is suddenly into this girl in five days (he said she listens to him and tells her about his problems and she tries to cheer him up, and that he digs what she does for a living helping kids) even though he still loves me and told me so two days ago? Is this a rebound and he is forcing his feelings for her? He told me a few days ago that he wanted to be with someone who wants to be with him, and that he wants to make plans with someone for the future…
Lucy
April 3, 2017 at 8:33 pm
I have been reading about it and it doesn’t really ring a bell… as applicable to this scenario, I guess. I find it hard to believe that someone he said he finds boring (“but she may change, I’ll give it time”), not contributing anything special in their conversation, and not sharing a sense of humor, although she may be cheerful and a very good listener, is not a rebound. Or am I just fooling myself into reassurance by telling myself she surely is a rebound and it will not work?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 4, 2017 at 5:19 pm
more likely he’s just telling you what you wanted to hear.. because if he really didn’t find anything interesting with her, he wouldn’t consider her as competition with you.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 29, 2017 at 2:48 pm
Hi lucy,
it’s a grass is greener case.. He’s trying to see in which one of you will be benefit him more.
Check this link:
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends
Ruby
March 29, 2017 at 1:32 am
I found out my ex met his new gf a few months before he broke up with me and texted her the day after we broke up. They were officially together after less than 2 months of us being apart and he is already introducing her to our friends as ‘the one’. We were together for 4 years. Could this still be considered a rebound?
Lucy
April 3, 2017 at 8:23 pm
I have been reading about it and it doesn’t really ring a bell… as applicable to this scenario, I guess. I find it hard to believe that someone he said he finds boring (“but she may change, I’ll give it time”), not contributing anything special in their conversation, and not sharing a sense of humor, although she may be cheerful and a very good listener, is not a rebound. Or am I just fooling myself into reassurance by telling myself she surely is a rebound and it will not work?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 4, 2017 at 5:19 pm
more likely he’s just telling you what you wanted to hear.. because if he really didn’t find anything interesting with her, he wouldn’t consider her as competition with you.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 29, 2017 at 2:01 pm
Hi Ruby,
nope it’s a grass is greener case: Check this one:
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends
Alexis
March 27, 2017 at 10:41 pm
Helpful article! I need help assessing my current situation though. My ex broke up with me in person this year on January 31st, 2017. This is the second time he broke up with me. My ex broke up with me right as we already planned a date that following Thursday, and we were looking to our 1 year anniversary, which would have been this year on March 22, 2017. His exact words were: “I think our strength lies in us being friends. I knew you were not thinking long term.” To which I replied that I was thinking long term, and so we ended up agreeing to be friends.
The thing is, It has now been a month( 1 month and 26 days to be exact ) and I found out my ex is in a new relationship with someone else. I cannot really tell how long they have been dating. However the way I found out was when my best friend and I were walking and we saw my ex and his new girlfriend kissing, and cuddling, basically PDA. My ex and I go to the same college, and we tend to go to the same hangout in addition to having a lot of mutual friends. The new girl my ex is with shares a class with him, and they seem to share a similarity, which is they’re really fond of meat. The new girl seems almost different to me. The only similarities we share are the fact that we wear glasses, have brown eyes, and have curly hair.(though her’s is brown while mine is black) My ex did not tell me about his new relationship let alone introduce me to her. I do know that my ex’s friend was surprised that he already found someone.
The first time my ex and I broke up, my ex ended things via text message citing that we had gotten too busy for a relationship. My ex got into a rebound 3 days later with someone who was similar to me, in terms of ethnicity since the rebound at that time was Asian, just like me. Then we got back together a month later. In the beginning of the second break up it was like my ex wasn’t really bothered. He was friendly toward me and he even gave me a hug. But then I noticed him getting on Facebook a lot more often. Strangely his Facebook profile hasn’t changed, other than the fact that he’s made new friends and people post on his wall. Also anytime I would sit next to my ex he would cringe at my presence. Plus anytime I would be having a good time with my guy friends my ex stared at me. Could this mean anything? Whether it was sadness/guilt, jealousy or anger I am not sure, but it was probably all of the above.
I have done no-contact(30 days) and have kept communication to a minimum. My ex and I used Skype a lot and the last time we talked we were talking about movies. Also I have kept my self busy doing other things. Is it worth trying to get an ex back even if he dumped you more than once? Prior to dating me, my ex’s longest relationship he had was 3 months. I am not his first girlfriend, as my ex had multiple girlfriends before me.
In terms of the relationship, it was actually really nice, stable. We talked all the time and would often hang out at his place. He’s met my mom and sister, and I met his mom and brother. We hardly fought and he would say he hoped his future included me in it. I would often bring him gifts anytime I traveled anywhere. He brought me gifts too. We would also play games together. My ex and I were also opposites, yet it was enough to where we had a balance of similarities and differences. He’s a Virgo, I am a Pisces. He hated spicy food while I loved it. He tended to be a tad more rational and spontaneous while I was a tad impulsive, but reserved. We both loved books, science, and video games.
Alexis
March 28, 2017 at 10:14 pm
Thanks for the feedback, but if you were in my position, what would you suggest? My ex unfortunately was my first relationship, which means I am in-experienced.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 29, 2017 at 12:56 pm
restart the no contact rule.. do it properly. no initiating, no replying, no social media stalking. Just focus in healing and improving yourself and then slowly build rapport after.. If it doesn’t work out, at least you did the no contact rule properly, you had time for yourself, and you did your best. check this one:
EBR 060: “Dating Yourself” During No Contact With Veronica Grant
Alexis
March 28, 2017 at 10:10 pm
Thanks for the feedback, but if you were in my position, what would you suggest? My ex unfortunately was my first relationship, which means I am in-experienced.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 29, 2017 at 12:57 pm
restart the no contact rule.. do it properly. no initiating, no replying, no social media stalking. Just focus in healing and improving yourself and then slowly build rapport after.. If it doesn’t work out, at least you did the no contact rule properly, you had time for yourself, and you did your best. check this one:
EBR 060: “Dating Yourself” During No Contact With Veronica Grant
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 28, 2017 at 5:40 pm
Hi Alexis,
that will depend in your standards..if you feel that you can’t give him a chance anymore, move on..