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Post categories
Eva
December 21, 2017 at 8:42 pm
Hey Amor,
wrote already on another page, but here this question is better:
Beside the trouble we have, I found out he was on a dating site, texting girls to have sexting. They never replied so he let it be. Found out some days ago, he apologised first, downplayed it, defended and even blamed me.
Because of my anxiety I didn’t make a big fuzz about it. I made myself pretty small and chased again.Now I sit here, in the weak position, getting angry again. How can I make him realise what he has done? How can I make him feel sorry? How can I express my pain even though i seemed to be ok again?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 25, 2017 at 4:44 pm
that’s why you need to stick to nc, because he probably expects you to contact him after a days or weeks and your posts are you way of showing you’re not chasing anymore.. We can’t control other people but people almost always regret not having somebody they used to have in their life when that person is gone and especially if that person is successful.
anna
August 25, 2017 at 2:19 pm
hey Amor .
Actually i took a quiz , few days ago . It shows that i have average chances of getting him back . –
Do i really have a chance of getting him back ? . Because , we were in lDR , its been a year since we broke up .
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 26, 2017 at 12:40 pm
HI Anna,
everybody always has a chance.. It’s just a matter of how much you can play the attraction game right. how much are you going to improve yourself, how much can you build rapport?
Kat
August 19, 2017 at 1:34 pm
Hi, my partner for 9years and I broke up because he got back with his childhood ‘first love’. Can I still get him back? We also have 1 kid. Please shed some light on my situation. Thanks!
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 20, 2017 at 8:58 pm
Hi Kat,
Aside from the advise above, check this one:
How To Get Your Ex Back When You Have A Child With Them
vero
August 16, 2017 at 6:42 pm
I don’t want to give myself hope by reading advice from websites like this one but I can’t help but be drawn to them. I am nursing the grief of a break-up/cheating/uncertainty situation and am completely lost. I’ve been in love with this guy forever. He was my first love, first bf, my everything. Problem is… we met at university and did long distance because I had 2 return home. Our cultures were different. We started fighting, things were shit and eventually he told me he had a girlfriend… I was heartbroken and cut him off from my life. Fate brought us back together when I moved to his city… Fell in love again… started dreaming of a future together. But again I had to move back but we tried to keep it going for the past 2-3 years. We recently scheduled an expensive holiday today… where I thought everything was happy but I discovered he had been sexting his ex… He told me he did not see a future for us, that he did not love me as much, there were too many differences, he had been having doubts for the past few months and the cheating was a consequence of this, not a cause. He had almost made up his mind to dump me… I am heartbroken. It was a horrible way to find out especially as I thought things were fine between us. I don’t know what to do. It seems like all is lost – he is out of love, unwilling to make efforts, and I cannot move to the same city as him until next year… and now there is that other girl in the picture. Is there any hope? What do I do? I am so heartbroken and the cheating shattered my self-esteem.
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 17, 2017 at 3:30 pm
Hi Vero,
Why not try the advice above?
Sami
August 10, 2017 at 2:53 pm
Hey,
We were together for 3.5years and broke up because he needed space. Straight after we broke up I completed NC but it’s been 10 months and there was no really progression and I gave up accepting I had been friendzoned but after so long and improving myself I didnt really mind. I just found out he started cheating on me lining up his rebound roughly 2 months before breaking up with me and it’s sent me into a whirl wind. He continued to contact me throughout the break up and always implied and mentioned single like activities. I also found out he’s recently finished with this other girl who sounds as thought it was an intense fully fled relationship and ties in with the timeline he started really contacting me calling texts (most of the time they went unanswered because I was busy). My question is wtf is going on with him? I feel completely betrayed I never thought he cheated and never even considered the option, I feel like a fool but also completely decieved he contacted me or updated me on almost everything about his life but completely omitted her or their relationship?! Knowing me if he told me I likely would’ve been more accepting and understanding. Please provide just a tiny bit of clarity, I’ve completely cut him off now trying to heal frustrated finding out so late.
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 10, 2017 at 5:29 pm
I’m sorry, I’m confused. By cheating, did you mean the time he dated others when you’re already broken up but he still kept talking to you? Because if it’s that, and you think it’s cheating, that means you’re not understanding about it, which is actually normal but he saw the situation like it is. He knows you would feel that way. So, he didn’t say it.
If you meant he really cheated on you during the relationship, and when you were already broken up, he dated other girls but didn’t tell you, that’s the explanation itself. Why would a cheater suddenly become honest?
Alisha
August 9, 2017 at 2:02 pm
Hii… me nd my boyfriend were dating each other from 7 years…. from 2years we r staying away from each other… long distance relationship. Few months back he said that he likes someone nd wanted to leave me… i asked him reason he said i dnt care for him… we broke up nd now he is living wid that girl… he have blocked me from everywhere except instagram… i post myy pics nd videos he see those bt dnt msg me…. i reallyy love him… want him back… please do help me… wot shld i doo???
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 9, 2017 at 4:33 pm
HI Alisha,
check this one:
EBR 015: How To Get A Long Distance Boyfriend Back If He Has A New Girlfriend
Naf
July 8, 2017 at 6:00 am
Last Aug he broke up with me after an argue although i asked him for forgiveness then from that time we were friends but he mentioned to me he cant forget me and while i asked him to come back ,he said NO.Finally on Feb after a bit sexy talk,he got angry and blocked me.I asked him to comeback but he didnt reply again on May he unblocked me without saying anything then yesterday i sent him birthday wishes in his email not Telegram and i said if he wants to come back with me,i would be glad (since i know we cant be friends cause we tried before .We can be just be in a relationship)and if not ,dont reply me.Then again he blocked me in Telegram.
Have you ever seen this experience before? Do you think he will come back again?If yes,approximately when do you guess he would come back?
Sandra
August 5, 2017 at 7:13 pm
I need help. My fiancé of five years cheated on me, had a one night stand, and didn’t tell me. It was the girl who admitted it. Since I broke it off with him we’ve been in contact but he’s adamant that he needs space to find out why he did what he did. HEs just pulling away completely. He goes off flying and enjoying himself while I’m stuck at home depressed. We’ve decided to meet up again in a few weeks to talk through it, but does he really want this or is he just afraid to admit he wants to be single.
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 7, 2017 at 6:44 pm
Hi Sandra,
Do you want to try the advice above?
Naf
July 11, 2017 at 6:20 am
After NC for 6 weeks,i initiate the conversation
and he always said to me he has to forget me although he has feelings and it is difficult for him.
He started sometimes talking sexy with me but then he said No ,we shouldnt be like that.
or he said he had bad feelings cause we have to be just friends.
Then i asked him that why he doesnt want to start relationship again with me.
He said he had girlfriend which was a lie and he said he was starting to know her but he
doesnt have any feeling to her and he wants me but in this case we should be friends.
To me ,he was playing a game to keep me loving him but he was escaping from commitment.
After a while i said to him although we were trying to be friends but once i watched his naked pictures then he got angry although i asked for forgiveness and he blocked me.
So when he unblocked me and didnt start to talk to me for 2months,i guessed he
might want to continue that behavior so i sent him birthday wishes in his email not Telegram and i said
in my email “my sister’s boyfriend asked about our relationship between you and i …and i said you blocked me .
I would be glad to be with you ,so if you want reply me in Telegram if not ,dont reply me back”
I acted like i didnt see he unblocked me in telegram.(we are in a distant relationship ,he met my sister last year when i traveled to his country.My sister boy friend is his nationality and my ex knows it)
Then again he blocked me in Telegram.
I didnt want him to come and say we can be just friends cause i have girlfriend then after 2days
says:i cant forget you ,i have feelings towards you so we have to try to be friends.
Did i do wrong? if so,now can i do something to get him back?
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 14, 2017 at 12:02 pm
Yup.. Those are the wrong kind of initial texts..Check this one:
How To Properly Start A Conversation With Your Ex After No Contact
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 9, 2017 at 7:10 pm
That’s a normal reaction from him.. It’s like you asked a stranger to marry you.That stranger would be creeped out after hearing that
Holiday
July 7, 2017 at 3:21 pm
Hi Amor,
I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 3 years about 2 weeks ago. I gave him an ultimatum and he withdrawn. I begged him for 2 days and somewhere during the period he blocked me on FB messenger(FB is not blocked).
The turning point was about a year ago, I pushed him into marriage and gave him an ultimatum(leave me or marry me) but he said nothing and pulled away. A while later he contacted me so that I couldn’t break up with him, but our relationship obviously got worse and worse. Basically he ignored me and I became clingy.
About 2 months ago, I had to move from the country where we lived because of my work. The first week before and after was as good as if our relationship got back to the beginning. But then he started to ignore me again. I asked him if he still loves me and thinks of me as his girlfriend… he didn’t answer. I had been feeling(and ignoring) that he might be seeing someone else. So I told him not to contact me if I’m not his girlfriend or if he hasn’t been faithful to me. I haven’t heard from him since then and found I was blocked.
Right now I’m not sure if I want him back. I feel that I hate him as much as I love him.
Holiday
July 15, 2017 at 7:31 am
Hi Amor,
Yes, I have decided to get him back.
I’m sticking to 45 days NC and 2 full weeks have passed(counting from when I happened to “seen” his sharing photo on FB messenger).
Although my situation seems hopeless and doesn’t fit into one category here(not sure being cheated, super LDR, Ghosted), NC would be anyway the only and best solution for me.
Thank you,
Holiday
Holiday
July 10, 2017 at 2:32 pm
Hi Amor,
No, not yet.
But he unblocked me(“read” my messages) after 2 weeks of my silence.
I talked with a woman who was supposedly the one for him to cheat with… but she was clear and my intuition was wrong.
45 days might not be long enough for me to decide.
Thanks for your reply.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 9, 2017 at 6:38 pm
Hi holiday,
Have you decided?
Calley
June 28, 2017 at 12:48 am
Hello, Ive been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years and I caught him cheating with a co-worker. He immediately went on AWOL after I found out making sure theres no more communication between him and the girl and has no job now. He went to say sorry and pleaded for forgiveness for straight 7 days. One day he pulled the last bit of straw i have left and destroyed all left of trust when I found out he’s lying to me again even with small things. I posted on social media about her bitch but the post was intended to humiliate only the girl because i didnt include his pictures and didnt say anything bad about him. It got really messy and it was so trending. Then we lost contact after I posted it. He did the no contact rule to me and I couldnt believe it because I was expecting him to still apologize to me and make up for what happened. So i was the one who first approached him, we are now talking again over chat and we fight over chat and its really toxic and tiring. But i cant stop getting mad. What do I do know? I feel he still hasnt realized what he did because he’s not doing anything to fix things. Do i start the no contact rule again even we are on talking terms already?
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 30, 2017 at 9:34 am
The no contact rule is for you, not for him.. It’s not going to change him but it’s for you to have time to focus in yourself and be more rational than emotional
Pom
June 15, 2017 at 3:53 am
Me and my ex have been together for 10 months. I know it isn’t long but the first few months together, we got through a lot that most couples don’t go through in the beginning. I found out in March that he had been meeting up with some girl and sexting with another girl. We had a huge fight and he promised he would never do it again. Then he left for 3 weeks for army stuff. We talked every single night and everything seemed great. When he got back, I checked his phone while he was sleeping and found out he was on tinder the whole time he was there and hooked up with 2 girls. One of the girls was an older woman (37 yrs old). Obviously he did it bc wanted some action. I know he didn’t actually love these girls. We broke up after I confronted him. He told his family we broke up. Now he is gone for another 3 weeks for army stuff and he said he will call me when he gets back but I am not sure he actually will. I still want to be with him. He hasn’t contacted me at all while he has been gone and he has been talking to other girls while he is away (I know bc I secretly have access to his fb plus if he cheated on me while we were together, nothing is stopping him from talking to other girls while away…the army girls he’s there with). What do I need to do to get him back? What do I say to him when he finally wants to talk? What do I do if he doesn’t contact me after he comes back? Please help…
Pom
June 15, 2017 at 4:14 am
I haven’t texted or called him. There have been moments where I was about to but didn’t. It’s been over a week since the break up (broke up Saturday June 3rd and talked Sunday night June 4th). I asked him if we could talk on Sunday and he called that night. He was already away by that time for army stuff. That was when he said he would call after he got back. Haven’t talked or texted since then.
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 17, 2017 at 6:45 am
Hi Pom,
check this one:
EBR 056: My Ex Boyfriend Cheated On Me Multiple Times… What Do I Do?
Pom
June 15, 2017 at 3:50 am
Me and my ex have been together for 10 months. I know it isn’t long but the first few months together, we got through a lot that most couples don’t go through in the beginning. I found out in March that he had been meeting up with some girl and sexting with another girl. We had a huge fight and he promised he would never do it again. Then he left for 3 weeks for army stuff. We talked every single night and everything seemed great. When he got back, I checked his phone while he was sleeping and found out he was on tinder the whole time he was there and hooked up with 2 girls. One of the girls was an older woman (37 yrs old). Obviously he did it bc wanted some action. I know he didn’t actually love these girls. We broke up after I confronted him. He told his family we broke up. Now he is gone for another 3 weeks for army stuff and he said he will call me when he gets back but I am not sure he actually will. I still want to be with him. He hasn’t contacted me at all while he has been gone and he has been talking to other girls while he is away (I know bc I secretly have access to his fb plus if he cheated on me while we were together, nothing is stopping him from talking to other girls while away…the army girls he’s there with). What do I need to do to get him back? What do I say to him when he finally wants to talk? Please help…
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 17, 2017 at 6:44 am
Hi Pom,
check this one:
EBR 056: My Ex Boyfriend Cheated On Me Multiple Times… What Do I Do?
Maya
June 5, 2017 at 1:44 am
We broke up 3 weeks ago. Yesterday when he came to take his remaining things (we are living together for 3yrs and he moved to his mum’s), we had a final conversation. I asked for one last chance and apologized for my part. He said he wasn’t in love anymore and he can’t give this another chance.
4 years ago when we started our relationship he cheated on me and asked for a chance which I gave to him. Over the years he really tried to work on his mistake, but every time we had a fight that came out of my mouth as a grudge. We were looking for a house to buy together and get married this year. My parents demanded he converts to Islam and her mother, who is a religious Catholic, was hurt and defied this. I tried to solve this situation by a secular marriage but asked if he can pretend to convert when he goes overseas for the reception part. He didn’t say no. This year he was supposed to come meet my family overseas but he didn’t come. He met me for holidays in another country afterwards instead. We fought a lot during that trip and after 2 weeks of coming back to our place, he broke up and left.
He cried a lot during our last conversation, but he was more than sure that he can’t go back to this as it has become toxic. He mentioned it might have stemed from me getting hurt from his actions and that he can’t think of getting married anymore. I told him I left my family for this but he was adamant and left.
What should I do now? Should I stop contacting him? I have to move out now and I am extremely lonely and depressed to even think about it and the economic burden it will cause me. Please help!
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 7, 2017 at 3:16 pm
Hi Maya,
if he already moved out, then just stay there.. the place is all yours right? are you going to do the no contact rule?
Arielllie
May 31, 2017 at 2:19 pm
I broke up with my ex for the second time 1 week back because he cheated on me with a hostess girl he knew from some thai club for a week. The first time we broke up, I was able to figure out the reason, being he still had feelings for his ex and he just was not ready to move on with me. When he came back to ask for me back in March, everything was magical, he explained how his feelings for his ex was just nolstagia and that he cannot accept going back with her because she cheated on him. Do you see the irony now? His largest deal breaker but he did it on me and he said ‘you are the first i have ever cheated on, i am rotten and you shouldnt come back and i can’t accept you back.” even though i was willing to work it out with him. He brought up reasons of incompatibility and how he never had to argue in his previous relationships in heated manner as a reason of breaking up and he said i was the one who has lost passion for him along the way. What the heck? and he has to cheat on me. And he said me talking to his mum about this whole fiasco is a dealbreaker for him and that he has accepted that things has ended between both of us. I don’t understand how one is so determined to have a future with me can suddenly turn into someone i don’t even know in the span of one 2 weeks? I’m sustaining to my NC rule, but i feel that chances are bleak cause i’m not even sure if he is still contacting the thai girl?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 31, 2017 at 5:03 pm
if you want to find out, find it out, and then restart nc and decide if you still want him back
Zhimary
May 28, 2017 at 9:12 pm
Hi have been with my boyfriend for like 10 years. He has left me like 5 times for other girls on the bases of his feelings towards them. Some time he says he feels deep inside of him. that am not his wife but then any Time he leaves he keeps coming back to me without me asking but this time he cheated without a break up
Am so mad at him and I still love him. What can I do? Am really helpless right now I need help please
Arielllie
May 31, 2017 at 2:21 pm
I broke up with my ex for the second time 1 week back because he cheated on me with a hostess girl he knew from some thai club for a week. The first time we broke up, I was able to figure out the reason, being he still had feelings for his ex and he just was not ready to move on with me. When he came back to ask for me back in March, everything was magical, he explained how his feelings for his ex was just nolstagia and that he cannot accept going back with her because she cheated on him. Do you see the irony now? His largest deal breaker but he did it on me and he said ‘you are the first i have ever cheated on, i am rotten and you shouldnt come back and i can’t accept you back.” even though i was willing to work it out with him. He brought up reasons of incompatibility and how he never had to argue in his previous relationships in heated manner as a reason of breaking up and he said i was the one who has lost passion for him along the way. What the heck? and he has to cheat on me. And he said me talking to his mum about this whole fiasco is a dealbreaker for him and that he has accepted that things has ended between both of us. I don’t understand how one is so determined to have a future with me can suddenly turn into someone i don’t even know in the span of one 2 weeks? I’m sustaining to my NC rule, but i feel that chances are bleak cause i’m not even sure if he is still contacting the thai girl?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 31, 2017 at 5:04 pm
if you want to find out, find it out, and then restart nc and decide if you still want him back
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 29, 2017 at 8:09 pm
check this one:
EBR 056: My Ex Boyfriend Cheated On Me Multiple Times… What Do I Do?
Jena
May 28, 2017 at 8:55 pm
I have been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years. Recently I broke up with him (Thursday) because I found out he was flirting and talking to other girls in a dating website and through Snapchat. I confronted him calmly because this is the second time he’s done it. The first time I was really angry at him and it took me a long time to trust him. This time I was just very disappointed and not mad. I asked him why he felt the need to do it and he just said he doesn’t know he’s just an idiot sometimes. He knows he messed up and even admits it. He told me, when I found out, that he was planning on telling me soon because he felt bad for doing it again and stopped on his own by deleting the app off of his phone. He also blocked me on everything, phone, Facebook, Snapchat and instagram. I saw him Thursday when I broke up with him and got all my stuff from his house. We talked a little and he said that I made him really happy and that he still wants a future with me. He also said he wants to get me a promise ring still but he’s not going to beg for me to stay with him. He hasn’t contacted me at all. What should I do? I want to implement the no contact rule because it is genius but he is in full control right now because he has blocked me so I can’t get ahold of him even if I wanted to. Obviously I love him and still want to be with him but I’ve allowed him to do this to my twice so something has to give. He would of just did it again if I blew it off for a second time.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 29, 2017 at 8:07 pm
hi Jena,
he doesn’t really have the full control..he probaby expects you to change your mind and chase and wonder why you aren’t and then unblock you.. so, it would really be better if you start nc.
Anonymous
May 26, 2017 at 11:10 am
Hi, is it okay to like my ex’s pictures of him and the girl who he has cheated with on me when we were still together? Will he think that he’s correct doing shit to me if i like his picture
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 27, 2017 at 3:50 pm
nope, dont do it.
Debbie
May 21, 2017 at 2:37 am
A crazy situation here … my ex bf was already married when we got into a ‘relationship’. He said he intends to marry me as he was living separate from his wife then. Drastic changes took place after his was back with him after a year and within months she got pregnant… i was still unaware of that fact and he kept on dating me while cheating on both his wife nd me. When i got to know abt this, i broke up with him altogether, however within months he looped in to his talks where he said he has financial issues, issues with wife and childern and many more . I still helped him out and we happened to sleep couple of times which i am thoroughly upset, embarrassed and guilty about. Now as i fought with him lately and sternly refused to sleep with him, he blocked me from everywhere … my question is that how can someone be that ruthless, and why did he do this to me?? If u r still reading, thank u for taking time and plz reply and get me out of this mess …
Debbie
May 24, 2017 at 2:20 am
Thanx amor!! I hadn’t heard this since long that i am a good person … after all this i thought of me as a weak and a pathetic person … much like a slave to someone .. many people have advised me to get rid of him but i promised u will be the last one telling me that … much love ❤️ .. and thanx for being there …
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 25, 2017 at 5:10 pm
You’re welcome! It will be hard.. but dont worry youll get past this.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 22, 2017 at 7:08 pm
Because he can see he can.. I know this will hurt but what you allow you will get.. Move on from him.. It sounds like you’re a good person, but that doesn’t mean your kindness is your weakness right? Walk away from people who are not good for you..
Bella
May 14, 2017 at 1:38 am
Hi Amor,
I broke up with my ex, this is the 6 time we broke up, and each time i have broke up with him because each time we fight he changes his social media passwords ( which he give to me when we get back together), and adds girls and flirt and talk to then.
I told him before we even started dating i did not want a boyfriend with social media, as i had 2 bad experiences with previous exes of doing the same he is doing now ( adding and flirting with other girls on each fight).
He said he wanted to be with me and deleted his social media. After few months we had a fight and i discovered he made fake profiles and added girls behind my back. I broke up with him and he begged me to comeback that he just did it cos he though i was provably seeing other guys as i was cold with him.
I forgave him and he said he misses social media to Interact with his male friends, to please lend him have it and he will give me passwords and not add girls.
After that for 5 times each time we had a big fight he changes passwords and add girls.
After each break up i always did no contact except the Last time, and he has always contacted me and begged me to comeback ( each break up he takes longer to comeback, the first was just 2 days and the Last one was 14 days). The Last break before this one i found out he did a badoo account while we broke up.
This break up he has a badoo account as well,
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 14, 2017 at 4:26 pm
you have to do at least 30 days or 45 this time..and to stick to it..and you can’t change other people.. That’s why you need to have standards.. either you walk away, or what you allow, you will get.
Bella
May 14, 2017 at 1:46 am
I continue my other message here…
This time i am doing no contact, and today is day 22 and i have not heard from him… It never took him so long to contact me…
He blocked me on whatsapp after the break up but unblocked me 10 days after.
Do you think he has move on for good?
As well i dont think i should iniciate contact if he is not contacting me after the 30 days no contact, otherwise will be like telling me is ok to treat me like that and i will run1 after him anyway.
I love him and miss him so much, i cant get out of bed or even eat, i lost so much weight, but i am being strong and not contacting him.
Do you think there is any hope for my situation? To get him back and change this pattern of him adding girls on each fight?
I hope you can answer me. Thanks.
Kelsey
April 7, 2017 at 12:30 pm
I feel that my situation is a little stressful and different so i hope you all can help me. My boyfriend and I had broken up around christmas time after 7 1/2 years due to me finding out he was initially having an emotional affair with a coworker and then he began sexting her and sending nude photos back and forth to her via snap chat. I am unsure how long the emotional affair had gone on due to the fact the past year I had my own emotional and personal turmoil I had to handle. Because of this, and this is where I accept my involvement in the problem, I had become withdrawn from him and was no longer communicating or engaging with him. I digress though. Christmas time we broke up with a huge physical fight because he wasn’t willing to give up contact with this other girl. The problem we had was we were still living together and had no way of moving out at the time. I remained living in the same house with him until the middle of February. During that time I had tried giving him everything he wanted, be it sex, more time with him etc. I was also begging and trying to get him to try and fix us and to stop contact with the other girl, which he never did. During that time he also began to see her more, after work and on the weekend when I was at the house. I was devastated and could no longer take it so I decided to move home with my family.
When I moved home I took all of our pets with me, something that really upset him because he wanted to keep the cats. I had indicated to him that there were consequences to cheating and that was his consequence. I brought the animals into the relationship and they were to leave with me. That is when things started to go down hill. He stated if he didn’t get to have the cats then he never wanted to see me again and if I didn’t give him what he wanted, the exact way he wanted, and be willing to “lose” for once in our relationship we would never get back together or try. The following week he also moved out of the house into an apartment. That weekend he had the girl he cheated on me with over. She has been involved in his life since. He states she hasn’t replaced me, that he still loves me and misses me however believes we would never work out and is excessively mad at me. Claims I had to always get my way and wanted to get his way for once: getting an NSA relationship and the cats as well as being allowed to continue the interactions with the other girl. The main irritation he had with me was that he claimed I put everything else in my life above him, even though he did the same. He wanted to be one of the most important things in my life and he felt that he wasn’t. WELL, with this new girl she has a child, a young child. Children dominate their parents life and that child will be more important to her in the end, so he is getting himself into the same situation. states that they aren’t dating, I guess he is getting everything that he wants from her without the label. I just found out today though that they probably are dating and just not posting it online. He recently unfriended me (this weekend) and that is because she posted their first tagged post together.
Anyways since I had moved out we had continued texting however all we did was fight. I wasn’t begging to be with him we were just arguing about who was right and who was wrong and all that jazz and trying to convince him to actually try. I had enough of the fighting and tried no contact for a week however I had to break it due to being impulsive. I drove to his house last Monday, one week after NC and he wasn’t happy to see me. He has been overly angry and hateful to me this whole time and had those stipulation before even thinking about trying, however never stated that it would make a difference . Fast forward to last Thursday. He calls and accuses me of vandalizing her car. Tells me to never call, text or contact him and that they were filing a police report and listing me as a suspect. I had to contact him on Tuesday due to him still having some of my belongings (as well as maybe my passport) and he didn’t block me and actually responded. He is still very angry and I messed up again by asking him why he unfriended me, why he didn’t block me and talking to him about his “relationship” about getting with someone that has a child.
I am beginning the NC all over again however it makes me feel like things are hopeless. He replaced me with her immediately and has been interacting with her and saying things to her like he used to do with me. 7 1/2 years is hard to let go and I truly felt things were going ok (because he was no longer trying to talk to me about problems he had turned to her). I am unsure how long he was talking to her however he has worked with her for the last 3 years. All I can say is there have been no true good texts between us, he was always asking me to leave him alone and that I had my prizes what else did I need?
Please Chris, I need all of your help. I just purchased all of your product and as I have said reinitiated the NC and ended our conversation with wishing him the best. I am in shambles and can’t let go and feel that I could never recover from this with him. We are 3 months down the road from the official break up, a month and a half since truly seeing each other and now 1 day since NC. Please lend me all your help and strength to know if I can recover from the damage I have caused. I have been taking care of myself (lost weight and interacting with friends again) as well as pursuing school again. I just feel there is no hope
Kelsey
April 5, 2017 at 6:05 pm
Was with my boyfriend for a little over 7 years and we had broken up around Christmas. The reason for the break up was me finding out he was having an emotional affair that started becoming sexual (sexting, sending naked pictures etc). The past year was a bad year for me emotionally and I had to focus on rebuilding myself and my confidence as an individual. Because of this I had become withdrawn from him and things in my life, this is the reason he claims he turned to the other girl and started cheating (because he no longer felt important to me and that I had put my phone, work and my family ahead of him). Anyways we broke up and had a huge fight at the time where we became physical (i smacked him and threw some things at him). At the time we were still living together and had to continue living together. I attempted to kick him out a couple times which led to bigger fights. During this time he was still in contact with the other girl, continued seeing the other girl and wasn’t really sorry for cheating on me. Fast forward to the middle of February. In that month and a half I had tried giving him exactly what he wanted, however didn’t make a difference of course and he began being more forward and open with seeing and doing things with this other girl. I had Kept trying to talk to him and work things out, this only made him angrier and was pushing him away. Middle of February was all I could handle living with him and I moved out and took all of our animals with us. He became angry and wanted the cats back (claimed he would try and work on things however still would not get rid of the other girl and stated if I didn’t let him have the cats he would never want to see me again.) Within tHe next week he had to move out of the house we were living in and since then she has been in his life, literally replacing me. I have attempted the no contact since I have moved out however it never stuck for more than a week. We were fighting every day and not getting anywhere yet he has continued to have her in his life. He claims he doesn’t know if he wants to be with her (she has a child) and hasn’t stated that he is dating her and with how quickly she replaced me I feel she may be a rebound or he is using her since she is giving him everything he wants without the commitment. I have restarted the NC after we have finally had some of our belongings sorted and exchanged. The most recent time he didn’t want me being anywhere close to him, preferred to mail things to each other. He hasn’t blocked me however he has unfriended me on social media. We were very much in love, were talking about marriage and moving forward with each other. Is there any way things between us can be fixed when she is still in his life and he doesn’t want to let her go. He didn’t want to let her go for us to fix our relationship before I founded out he was cheating sonthat was my clue he was cheating. Have i traveled to far past the point of no return? This last time we talked he stated he still loves me and misses me and always will however he hasn’t shown any desire to be with me. Will her being in his life prevent him from wanting to come back?
Kelsey
April 9, 2017 at 9:56 am
Amor,
I have started NC and have plans to never talk to him again about her, ever. I am now 5 days in and how can he see that I am moving on via posts if he isn’t my friend on Facebook? We do have mutual friends on Facebook however no one that actually talks to both of us or even sees both of us. He can’t see anything on my Facebook other than when i update a profile picture.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 9, 2017 at 5:27 pm
that’s ok..just keep posting and make them public..so that he has posts to see of he gets curious now or while building rapport
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 7, 2017 at 1:47 pm
It’s not yet too late but you have to stop talking to him about the other girl, and to start looking like you’re moving on through your posts.. Be active in improving yourself..