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Kayla
June 19, 2017 at 4:05 pm
Hello
I feel as if I am in a sticky situation because I have so many variables surrounding my circumstance. My, now ex, boyfriend of practically three years broke up with me two weeks ago. His reasons were “That he still loved me, but he was no longer IN love with me. That he found me attractive, just not in THAT way anymore.” He said he no longer had love for me. He also said that I was negative. Personally, I don’t believe that I’m negative per second, I just really dislike my current place of employment. I work a lot of 12 hour days… Also, a few months ago he broke up with me, but that only lasted two days. All he said then was that he didn’t love me. But after the second day we decided that we both truly loved each other and he wanted me to “forgive and forget” that he said he didn’t love me. However, we’ve lived at his mother’s house for the past few years to help her out with bills and such. I can’t really afford a place of my own right now, plus, I love his mother. Now that he and I are no longer together, she really wants me to stay, and I don’t want to abandon her either. While I genuinely believe that she loves me and wants me to stay, I am also concerned with her ability to pay the mortgage by herself. And she feels trapped in her house because of the animals (she has two pets, plus each one of her sons has a dog; because of the amount of pets, she cannot rent a house). To throw fuel on the fire, he is joining the Air Force. He doesn’t know his shipping out date yet, but I can sense his urgency and impatience. I feel as though we never had these issues before he started losing weight to join the military. When he first started committing to losing the weight, was when he threw the first break up at me, and now that he has lost the weight and has signed his intent forms, I felt him distancing himself from me further. After he signed his paperwork(a month ago) we stopped getting intimate in the bedroom. And now he breaks up with me this second time and I feel that he is more serious.
Since our break up, we have stayed in seperate bedrooms. But I noticed some bizarre activity in him. He started eating fast food more, not going to the gym, locking himself in his bedroom, and he has become more short with his mother (not like him). I spoke to him a week into the break up because I sensed that he was depressed. I told him that as his friend, I cared about him and that I didn’t want to see him like this and that he should really start eating healthier, working out, and doing fun things with his friends outside of video games again. He pretty much shrugged me off and assured me he was not depressed and that he was just tired. But he seemed to take my advice after that and has since been eating better, working out, blah blah. And I’m proud of him. I don’t want to see him fail.
Since then I have implemented the no contact rule (because of the way he strugged me off, I was hurt, but realized that even though he and I both need some time away from each other to cool down, I still love him and if he’ll have me by his side, I don’t want him to live out one of the toughest chapters of his life by himself), so the NC thing has only been going on for a week. I have went out with friends, and I have even tried being more positive on the daily (even though I still don’t like my job….if he wants/ needs me to be more positive, then I will). Next week, June 23rd-30th, him, his mom, and his brother are going on vacation. Normally I go with them, but I decided to stay in town(even though the 30th is his birthday, I don’t plan on getting him anything or speaking to him) and during their vacation, I plan to get my hair done, my nails, and possibly a new outfit. I want to continue the NC rule if it will work like you say. I want to show him that I can still be happy without him. But this is where I’m getting really stressed out….
If he is depressed(which he won’t admit or he really isn’t), am I doing the right thing by going out, and being happy and getting my hair done? Will he miss me when he ships out for bootcamp? Should I move out, or stay with his mom since he’ll be away at a base? Should I write him letters when he’s at bootcamp if I’m still in our NC period? What if we’re done with our NC period,can I write him then? Should I jump on his computer while he’s at work and see if he’s talking to another girl? Does that really change our situation?
I have read many of the articles on this site, even the military ones, but I don’t think those completely match up with my situation. But I do plan to carry out the rules to make him miss me.
I sincerely apologize for writing you an entire book, and I also apologize if any of my information was scattered or hard to read; that’s kind of how my mind is since this break up. He is just a hard person to read….I don’t think he realizes how in breaking up with me, he’s not only putting strain on our relationship, but also his mom, our pets, the whole family (even his brother, who doesn’t even live there). But I love him and I want to continue to fight for us.
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 22, 2017 at 2:51 pm
Dont snoop in his pc.. if you’re in nc dont message him.. after, you can but thr situation with his mom should be more of his concern.. if you dont get back together what happens then? If he’s not suicidal, just let him be..
Have you checked this one?:
EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend
Louise
June 18, 2017 at 9:10 pm
Is it ok to use a jealousy message as first contact after nc if my ex isn’t upset with me?
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 22, 2017 at 2:23 pm
Better not..
Angie
June 18, 2017 at 4:37 pm
My ex boyfriend of 6 months met each other through school. After two months of hanging out, things took a romantic turn – although we didn’t make things exclusive for another 2 months. We were actually somewhat considered long distance. I work 3 hrs away from him so we only got to see each other on the weekends. But every time we hung out, things were great. I met all of his friends and got along with them. Even took several trips together. However, there was a time period when I couldn’t see him for a month because I had prior engagements and work duties to perform that kept me from going home. Ever since that, I started to get this feeling of him becoming distant. During one night when he was drunk, I asked him what’s happening. He told me that it was weird for him to see someone 4 or 5 days in a month. After a few more days of testing the water, I initiated a conversation with him via text. He told me that he forgot that we had that conversation as he was intoxicated that night. He later said he doesn’t think our relationship will work if I continue to have to work away from home. I told him that my intention is to move back home after my project is done. He replied back saying that we’ll keep things going and decide what to do when the time comes. Fast forward another two weeks later (I was again away on work duties and wasn’t able to see him the following weekend since our serious conversation), I finally had the chance to see him. This time, I asked him if he could meet up to talk. We met up for breakfast first. And then proceeded to sit down to talk afterwards at a local park (where he asked me if I wanted to make things exclusive). I reminded him again that I do plan on moving home after my project is completed but he said he has a feeling that that won’t happen since I told him previously I may have to move again. He told me he didn’t want to string me along. I agreed but suggested that we take another few weeks to consider our next move because I’m going to be home for the following next weekends. We continued our day and actually went to the movies. However, throughout the entire day, it felt very unnatural for us. We didn’t hold hands whatsoever. After the movies, we just went back to his place and fell asleep. The next morning, I woke up crying because I knew deep down our relationship was coming to an end. He woke up and proceeded to work on some school work. I took that as my chance to leave. He walked me out and that was where I burst into tears. He told me he’d call me later. After two hours of anxiously waiting for his call, he finally did. He said things very felt unnatural for him and that he doesn’t think our relationship will work. He later texted me that afternoon saying that I can call him if I ever need anything. I didn’t respond. Later that night, he texted me again saying he’s really sorry and wants me to know that he still wants to hang out with me and to call him if I ever want to talk. I didn’t respond to that either. Two days later, we had to do an online presentation together but something happened to his mic and he wasn’t able to present. I therefore presented his portion for him. He texted me afterwards thanking me for doing his part. I didn’t respond. After 6 days of not responding, I finally texted him back with “I’m sorry I haven’t responded back. I needed some time to myself. It’s been hard not being able to talk to you”. He replied back saying that he knows it’ll take some time and that he didn’t mean to be pushy.
What should I do now? Do you think I’ll have a chance at rekindling this relationship? He’s a pretty logical guy so I’m afraid that even if I do the NC on him, he may not want to rekindle considering the circumstances.
Angie
August 22, 2017 at 10:49 pm
Hi Amor, so my ex and I have been in constant communication. Obviously, the vibe is not the same as before. We used to send each other Snapchats on a daily basis and check up on each other throughout the day. Now, our texts are mainly on school topics. He recently started sending GIPHY’s again which is nice. Well, I’m moving back to our hometown this week for good so I reached out to him to see if he would like to meet up for happy hour. I even said that we should invite a mutual friend thinking that it would be less awkward. I asked him last week and he said he would go. But when I just confirmed with him again, he said he can’t go because he and his friends already made plans. He did not propose for another day. Should I take this as a sign that he’s already moved on? Obviously, my feelings for him are still strong…
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 24, 2017 at 10:45 pm
Approach the situation like he has moved on that means you were too early to ask. There’s not enough rapport yet. and Saying to bring another person so it would be less awkward, is acknowledging that it is awkward to meet up with him.
Angie
July 13, 2017 at 5:59 pm
Hi Amor,
I have recently completed the NC rule of 21-days. I initially wanted to go with the 30-days but he actually reached out to me exactly 21-days after the break-up. In his initial text, he said he hoped I was doing okay and asked if I needed help with our upcoming school assignments. I responded back later a few hours later apologizing for my late response and told him I was at the movies with a friend but that I didn’t need his help and thanked him for the gesture. He then responded back 2hrs later with a “no problem”. Not sure how to go about it from here, I decided to test the water the next morning to see if he would respond so I sent him a reminder of an assignment that was due that night. He replied back within a minute and thanked me.
After our initial contact, I reached out to him a few days later via a group chat that we have with a classmate. He barely responded. However, he reached out to us again days later. Since our classmate wasn’t responding to our messages this time, I texted him separately to ask him some questions related to our assignment. He offered his help and told me to reach out to him again if I needed more guidance.
This is where I think I’ve gone off track… Since then, I’ve reached out to him on several occasions. I’ve initiated about 60% of the time and ended the conversation (abruptly) 60% of the time. Our conversations have been short and have mostly been about school or dogs (he loves dogs). We’ve joked around here and there as well but more like two people who just met. I also noticed that he’s been checking my Snapchat stories whenever I post (I’ve been trying to make myself appear busy by snapping of my outings) but I’ve made it a point to NOT look at his.
What should I do from here? Do you think I need to implement another round of NC? I’m trying to give off the “I don’t care” vibe to show that I am okay with the break up and friend zone him but I’m not sure if this is the right thing to do.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 14, 2017 at 6:48 pm
Just continue slowly building rapport and in improving yourself..post in sites where the posts lasts too
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 21, 2017 at 3:20 pm
Hi Angie,
if you keep talking to him you’ll more likely end up being friendzoned.
emily
June 16, 2017 at 12:24 pm
3 weeks ago my boyfriend of about a year broke up with me. It began as a seemingly “innocent” fight, but resulted in a breakup. I was confused, we had been amazing and in love up until this point, and even living together. He had just moved back home for a job transfer, and is under a lot of stress. It isn’t what he thought, he’s not being treated right, and is working about 80+ hours a week. I admit I was adding to the stress, the week before the breakup I was PMSing pretty bad. In addition, when I moved cities to be with him I was completley smothering. I only had him, and didn’t try to make a life for myself there. One of his biggest complaints was I lost the person he used to know, my goals had faltered, I didn’t have my own life, I complained but didn’t try to fix the problem….the stress was too overwhelming.
Since the breakup, 3 weeks ago, we have had some contact, he makes conflicting statements, some of “I was trying to build a life with you, I still care about you, i saw us growing old together, but it’s just too much.” some are “I can’t keep doing this, don’t wait around for me, I’m not coming back.” Personally, I’m chalking this up to intense stress and I’m the factor in his life he can control. I did several days of no contact, and rarely reach out, except for the occasional cliffhanger text. Trying to give him space to breathe, focus on himself, and be feel a sense of accomplishment in his life. Unsure what next actions I should be taking, how long I should be waiting, or if I’m being too positive about this situation. My heart says he will come back, despite some of his comments. But my head is telling me to prepare for the worst.
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 18, 2017 at 5:28 am
if you’re going to do no contact you have to restart it. No contact means no initiating, no replying, no liking his posts and no commenting back. You can only contact for really important matters and only talk about that.
Alexa
June 14, 2017 at 11:48 pm
My boyfriend asked me for “time and space” which with the weeks turned into a break up. He is now in California for work and I’m in the other side of the country, we keep texting but his answers are very cold (although every single day he tells me that he wants to be my friend because “who knows in the future.. every good relationship starts with a friendship” and that I should stop tripping and relax), so I wanted to implement the No Contact rule starting today… but here’s the thing: he comes back to town on June 23 and exactly 7 days after that I’m leaving the country (yes, we were going to be in a LDR. But that’s not the reason why he broke up with me). So my question is: should I start the No Contact period now? Or should I wait until he comes back from his business trip and start the No Contact period once I’m gone? I ask this because my last 7 days here will be very emotional and I’m sure he will want to meet up to say goodbye and of course I want it too, but at this point I don’t know what should be the best. He’s acting so cold with me that sometimes I really feel that he doesn’t want me in his life anymore.
Thanks in advance!
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 17, 2017 at 6:29 am
yep you should do it.. he’s trying to friendzone you.. and saying goodbye to him is like assuring him you’re still there even if you’re going away..
Diana
June 14, 2017 at 11:23 pm
Hi, I made a huge mistake and slept with my ex boyfriend once after the breakup. I have now completed nc and haven’t heard anything from him at all since I slept with him. Have I ruined my chances of getting him back if I slept with him once after the breakup?
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 17, 2017 at 6:26 am
how much did you improve and how active were you in posting? check the links below too:
How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back If You Slept With Him
How To Properly Start A Conversation With Your Ex After No Contact
Cee
June 14, 2017 at 11:16 pm
Thank you. My LDR ex-boyfriend, a narcissist, who cheated his way out of the relationship just to breakup with me, just asked for forgiveness…After over a year!!! But I think I don’t want him back in my life. I recovered and moved to another country. It still hurts but not as painful as when the breakup was still fresh. It was struggle but I gained perspective and wisdom by reading your articles. Thanks again and more power! 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 17, 2017 at 6:16 am
Wow! Thanks for sharing Cee!
Caroline
June 12, 2017 at 9:29 pm
My boyfriend (now ex) broke up with me in the weirdest way. I am on college break but I have been seeing him every other week. I visited him memorial day weekend and we had an absolutely amazing long weekend together. My friends boyfriend was 2 weekends later in his city so we had been making arrangements to see each other at some point while I was there. The entire planning process he was acting excited to see me and sweet. 30 mins before we were supposed to meet he called me and asked if I wanted to meet at a bar near his place, but i didn’t want to. So he said I could just meet him at his place and we could decide once I got there if we wanted to go out. I arrived at his place and he acted super excited to see me, hugging and kissing me upon seeing me. For an entire hour we cuddled on the couch, laughing, joking, kissing, and catching up. He was acting completely normal, not acting distant or awkward. We were even talking about couple stuff (as if he wasn’t about to break up with me in 30 mins). Then all of a sudden he says he doesn’t think we should continue to see each other. It was so random and surprising that I thought he was joking for the first 2 mins. Why he would want to cuddle with me, act relationship-like, and enjoy my company for an entire HOUR if he was planning to break up with me? Why would he act like everything is fine? I am so confused and don’t know what to make of this. Help me understand why he would do this please!
Caroline
June 17, 2017 at 3:35 am
So after the no contact should I just leave it alone then and not try? I guess if it was that calculated like you said then he probably really doesn’t want to be with me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 19, 2017 at 6:39 pm
you can initiate contact after nc..check the link below:
How To Properly Start A Conversation With Your Ex After No Contact
Caroline
June 14, 2017 at 7:09 pm
This happened Friday. We were together a little over 4 months
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 16, 2017 at 8:26 pm
it was probably planned, maybe that was the reason why he wanted to meet out the bar.. he probably wasn’t that sure at first but even if he was sweet with you, the feeling of wanting to break up was still there, so he still broke up with you
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 14, 2017 at 3:09 pm
when did all this happen and how long were you together?
Jane
June 7, 2017 at 11:50 am
Hi, my boyfriend and i just broke up 2 days ago. We are actually on an LDR most of the time because he travels for work like 6 to 9months. So heres what happened. Last feb. i recently found out that i had genital warts contacted from him. He was still abroad at that time. I told him and then he came back home and supported me throughout the medical process. He always was there for me when i needed him. And hes trying his best to take care of me. And i appreciated and loved him more bec. of that. Then i get easily angry over small things ( i didnt realized i was already PMSing). So we had a fight. I thought that having this HPV would make him stay and make our rel.stroger. From then on we didnt talk that muchd for about a month.. He rarely texts me or asked me what am i doing. Thats when i felt unloved. Until 2 days ago, he accidentally send me a text that hes talking to some random girl from tinder. i didnt know he was on tinder. So i told him that i was tired and we need to break up and that he didnt deserve my love. He was sorry and asked for forgiveness that night and told me that he really loves me. Then the next day everything changed, he was the one who wanted to end the rel. bec. he doesnt want to hurt me anymore, and he says he still loves me and this is for the better. And i told/beg him not to give up easily on us and to fight for me and us. He was the one who told me that we should help each other and now hes the one being opposite. I know he just said those things to make me hate him. I also know that ive hurt him and made some mistakes. But i know deep down that we still love each other and that we belong together. His profile picture on fb is still us. I just dont know what to do. Please help me i still love him.
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 9, 2017 at 3:51 pm
Hi Jane,
do you want to try the advice above?
Ally
June 5, 2017 at 8:12 pm
So my ex and I broke up a month ago from datingfor six months after a bad fight. He said he needed some space and it ended with me kicking him out the house. I didn’t mean to break up with him, but that’s how he took it because my actions. I was not good at the no contact period. I kept blowing up his phone. However, about 2 weeks after we broke up, I started giving him the space he asked for. We work together so it’s been a bit difficult. I started hanging out with friends and other guys. It was around that time that he started coming back around. We went through all the steps (minus the 30 days of no contact). The day after he asked to hangout that weekend, we ran into each other at a bar and he drunkenly told me he missed me, loved me, and wanted to have a family with me, but couldn’t trust me because I hurt him… during the last step (the hangout which he initiated by coming over 2 days after the drunken night) he talked a lot about our relationship and what was good/bad. He said he still needed space and time, but wanted to continue the conversation the next day. The next day came around and he started acting weird and distant again.
I’m not sure what to do. It seemed like things were going well, but then we went backwards. Were we moving too fast? We ended up getting in a small fight a few days later because I was upset over it. I’m scared that he still has negative feelings towards me and that’s what is stopping him. How do I earn his trust back?
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 7, 2017 at 5:34 pm
what did you fight about? check this one:
EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend
Sarah
June 5, 2017 at 8:03 pm
Tbh I was a quite controlling and jealous girlfriend, blaming him for a lot of things, which I didn’t realize until after the breakup. Now I’m in the third week of NC and I haven’t heard anything from him once since the breakup. It feels like he’s better off without me. I don’t know if he even cares at all, since he haven’t showed the smallest sign that he’s missing me. I bet he’s just out there living his life and doesn’t even think about me, because if he feels better without me, then why would he miss me? He blocked me on every social media, but he didn’t block my number thought. If he would miss me, wouldn’t he show some sign, like unblock me or ask about me or something? Is it even possible to make him change his mind even if I wasn’t the greatest girlfriend and he feels better without me?
Sarah
June 13, 2017 at 12:10 pm
Yes, I still want him back. It’s been 5 weeks of nc now, and he hasn’t contact me or showed a smallest sign that he misses me. Is it even possible then to get him back if he doesn’t miss me? I’ve worked hard on improving myself and becoming a better me, but I still want this guy.
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 14, 2017 at 3:19 pm
yes, if you could make him interested in you.. if you’re a stranger and he talks or sees, would you appear and sound interesting to him?
Sarah
June 13, 2017 at 12:09 pm
Yes, I still want him back. It’s been 5 weeks of nc now, and he hasn’t contact me or showed a smallest sign that he misses me. Is it even possible then to get him back if he doesn’t miss me?
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 7, 2017 at 5:27 pm
instead of thinking like that.. focus in improving yourself.. if he has moved on, would you be interesting for him now?
PPR
June 4, 2017 at 3:55 am
Hi,
I really need your help! I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for 8 years. We really loved each other but had arguments as well. He was medical student, so he had to go for a work relate trip for 6 months. During these six months he used to come once in a while to meet me. But the last 2 months it became impossible to come and meet me. During that time, he went under lot of stress due to studies work and main reason : bullying by a senior. He could not confront the senior due to various reasons. During that time he got really busy and could not give me time. So he used to ask help from another girl who he thinks understands him better than I do. So during the last week of trip, he broke off with me and said we were not right for each other. He said it was not my fault and that he stopped having feelings for me. I tried to convince him multiple times that now the trip is over we can get back and works things out but he said he could not do it. I tried all the methods he could for me to move on and forget him but I never gave up. So fast forward 2 weeks later. He is dating the girl who helped him during his bad times. He says he wanted distraction and that he liked her so it fits. He also said he feels very guilty for cheating on me.That new girl is using him because she didn’t help us patch up but instead used to flirt when were still in relationship. And my ex doesn’t seem to accept this fact and says she is very understanding about our situation.I don’t know what to do now because he says he loves me still but not that way anymore. He says he doesn’t love the new gf that way either but went in relationship to get rid of me when I clearly know that he had some hidden feelings for her as well. I don’t know what to do now!! Please help. I want him back!
And the no contact rule is what made it worse, because he thought i had moved on and that he can easily move on too. Thats what he wants and I cannot do that.
Please please help me get him back!
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 5, 2017 at 8:25 pm
Hi PPr,
check this links:
EBR 015: How To Get A Long Distance Boyfriend Back If He Has A New Girlfriend
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends
PPR
June 4, 2017 at 3:54 am
Hi,
I really need your help! I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for 8 years. We really loved each other but had arguments as well. He was medical student, so he had to go for a work relate trip for 6 months. During these six months he used to come once in a while to meet me. But the last 2 months it became impossible to come and meet me. During that time, he went under lot of stress due to studies work and main reason : bullying by a senior. He could not confront the senior due to various reasons. During that time he got really busy and could not give me time. So he used to ask help from another girl who he thinks understands him better than I do. So during the last week of trip, he broke off with me and said we were not right for each other. He said it was not my fault and that he stopped having feelings for me. I tried to convince him multiple times that now the trip is over we can get back and works things out but he said he could not do it. I tried all the methods he could for me to move on and forget him but I never gave up. So fast forward 2 weeks later. He is dating the girl who helped him during his bad times. He says he wanted distraction and that he liked her so it fits. He also said he feels very guilty for cheating on me.That new girl is using him because she didn’t help us patch up but instead used to flirt when were still in relationship. And my ex doesn’t seem to accept this fact and says she is very understanding about our situation.I don’t know what to do now because he says he loves me still but not that way anymore. He says he doesn’t love the new gf that way either but went in relationship to get rid of me when I clearly know that he had some hidden feelings for her as well. I don’t know what to do now!! Please help. I want him back!
And the no contact rule is what made it worse, because he thought i had moved on and that he can easily move on too. Thats what he wants and I cannot do that. He desperately wants me to move on but I dont want to .
Please please help me get him back!
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 5, 2017 at 8:25 pm
Hi PPr,
check this links:
EBR 015: How To Get A Long Distance Boyfriend Back If He Has A New Girlfriend
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends
Sylvia
May 26, 2017 at 1:21 pm
I was in a very committed relationship with a guy for 2.5 years. He broke up with me, but still talked a lot, sometimes I was ignored, but most of the time we would talk or even meet up. He gave me a lot of hope for our relationship, but nothing was really happening. I tried no contact and then discovered that he had moved on to a new girl only 7 weeks after. I am so lovesick and I really valued this relationship. I’m still in no contact and didn’t reach out when I found out about the new girl in order to stay classy. I deleted him on all social media for now. I guess what I want to know is if I am able to get this guy back? We really shared a good, valuable time, but I think he got distracted by a new girl. Is there anything I can do for this specific situation?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 27, 2017 at 4:16 pm
Hi Sylvia,
how long are you in no contact now? How active are you in improving yourself and in posting in social media? Even if you deleted him, you need to be active in posting.. just make them public. and check this one:
EBR 010: What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Gets A New Girlfriend
Jessica
May 23, 2017 at 5:40 am
So my ex and I were together for 2 years, we broke up almost 2 months ago, we had a huge fight about things and he moved out, we both agreed it was a mistake but now things have changed.
3 weeks after we broke up he was out of town seeing his family, we had literally talked every day since we broke up, when he got back into town I picked him up from the airport and we had sex and spent time together it felt like old times like when we were happy together, after that day we haven’t seen eachother since, we went 12 days without talking, I did text him in that time about 5-6times, in the last couple of days we have talked about sitting down and talking about our relationship and the things that have happened, we want to talk because we are in a wedding together in a week, I truly want him back but at this point I am really unsure how to go about it, I really need some advice. I really need to figure out how to get him back.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 24, 2017 at 6:38 pm
did he agree to talk? if he did, update us after the talk.. but please dont beg.. be civil and be as rational as you can.
Jessica
May 23, 2017 at 5:39 am
So my ex and I were together for 2 years, we broke up almost 2 months ago, we had a huge fight about things and he moved out, we both agreed it was a mistake but now things have changed.
3 weeks after we broke up he was out of town seeing his family, we had literally talked every day since we broke up, when he got back into town I picked him up from the airport and we had sex and spent time together it felt like old times like when we were happy together, after that day we haven’t seen eachother since, we went 12 days without talking, I did text him in that time about 5-6times, in the last couple of days we have talked about sitting down and talking about our relationship and the things that have happened, we want to talk because we are in a wedding together in a week, I truly want him back but at this point I am really unsure how to go about it, I really need some advice.
Jessica
June 24, 2017 at 7:57 pm
So my ex and I have been broken up for 3 months now, after a lot of back and forth about 3 weeks ago we sat down and talked about something’s, he said he wanted to start over and wanted to rebuild, that night we got into a huge fight after drinking with friends and didn’t talk for 2 days, and then he called me and we talked for hours, we told me he loved me and wanted to be with me and wasn’t attracted to anyone else and didn’t want to be with anyone else but that he was still hurt because of our breakup and the stuff we had been putting eachother thru for the last few weeks, we slept together that night and I thought we were going to start over but in the last 2 weeks he has said his heart is torn, part of him wants to get back together and another part of him doesn’t think it’s a good idea, I started the no contact rule 3 days ago and haven’t heard from him at all, I recently saw he went to a sporting event with a girl he used to work with and now it’s making me doubt that he truly even still loves me, I’m so torn on whether this will work and on whether I can truly get him back, I really do want him back and really do want to be with him, should I continue the no contact rule? Or just give up
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 29, 2017 at 5:31 am
How many times have you done nc?
Jessica
May 30, 2017 at 9:58 pm
He agreed to the talk but it hasn’t happened yet, multiple times we had plans for him to come over and sit down and talk but something always happened or he made up an excuse, the wedding we are in together is in 3 days and we still haven’t sat down and talked, when we talked on the phone he told me he loved me he just needed to be alone right now but when I asked if he wanted me out of his life he said no and then when I told him he needed to tell me he didn’t want to be with me ever so that I could move on he told me he couldn’t do that because it wouldn’t be true
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 24, 2017 at 6:38 pm
did he agree to talk? if he did, update us after the talk.. but please dont beg.. be civil and be as rational as you can.
Rachel
May 22, 2017 at 2:21 pm
I’ve recently been dumped by my boyfriend after we were together for two months. His focus and priority has always been work and getting good grades which I always respected but I wanted to see more of him than I did and kept pushing to see him. He also showed little emotion throughout the relationship (he shows little emotion generally) with him only saying “I love you” if I said it first which made me feel increasingly insecure as time went on. We had a few arguments due to either his lack of emotion or my insecurities getting in the way of us with that being his reason for why we broke up and me being too emotionally involved as another. I love him still and want him back however he doesn’t want that and I feel to blame as I kept pushing him to show his emotions and spend more time with me when I knew he had work and finds it difficult to express his emotions. I want him back and have recently started no contact after already having begged for him to take me back which I now regret we also had a few friendly conversations and I wished him good luck in his exams before I started no contact but he has since ignored that message. I’m unsure as to what to do however I do know that I want him back and I am willing to work on my faults in order to make us work should he take me back however I’m worrying that he will only ever see me as a friend from now on. I don’t know what to do as I feel that no contact will not work as he will be focussing on his exams leaving little time to think about us and I am doubtful he will change his mind (especially as his mum never liked me) what should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 24, 2017 at 1:58 pm
Hi Rachel,
it’s not a guarantee that the nc will work but keeping on talking with your ex will not only make you look like you’re chasing, it can also make you friendzoned fast because you’re like letting him move on slowly, and getting used to you just being a friend, instead of doing the no contact rule, improving yourself, being active in posting, while he can still miss you..
Anne Nadine
May 19, 2017 at 7:31 am
Hello.
This is my story: Long time ago (10-11 years ago) I met a guy. We were best friends and we used to talk a lot. He wanted a relationship with me but i didn’t accepted because I was too young (16 years old) and he was 27 years old. We used to talk from time to time. After some years I get married and I talked to him. I don’t know what I’ve said but he got upset without my notice and didn’t talked to me for years. I thought that he don’t talk with me anymore because I’m married now. Years have passed and my marriage got in a critical point. I and my man are just friends. Last year, after 5 years without speaking, I have resumed contact with him. He told me what happened and we solved the problems between us.
For few months we start to talk almost everyday and our discussions have become more and more intimate. I told him that I am scared to have another relationship and I don’t want to have sex without being in a relationship. He told me that he is serious and for him is not a problem that I’m still married. And also for him is not a problem to have a relationship with a divorced woman (after my divorce). We kept talking, to send one another sexy pictures and have a lot of talks abut sex. I forgot to say that between us are 2000 km, we live now in different countries.
In April I was home for vacation and we have met for the first time in 10 years. I was very happy to see him again. He kissed me and the feeling was amazing. We kept kissing for hours like was the last day of our lives. He also wanted to have sex with me but I told him is too soon. He took my hand and put it on his pants. I went into his game and I liked it. But that was all. Kisses and touches.
After few days we’ve met again and we went further….that means, after kisses he asked me if I can help him to have an orgasm. I wasn’t sure if I’m prepared but I went further because I liked him and I thought he like me also. So I did him oral sex…I felt a little bit embarrassed but he told me that it’s ok and we did not do anything wrong. After that evening he didn’t came to visit me again. He told me that was very busy with his job. My vacation was over and I fly back in the country I live now. We kept talking but not so much like before. I told him I want him in my life and I miss him every day, but he turns colder and colder every day. I started asking if I did something wrong or if I’m not good enough for him. I asked him a lot of questions but every time when I asked something about us or about A possible future he get angry. He told me that I’m too stressful and I rushed things. For 2 weeks I made all possible mistakes: I kept asking him for forgiveness, for another chance to make things right and slow as he wish, I asked him why and what he wants and if he wants to try again to have a normal relationship or be just friends like we used. He got angrier with every question I asked and gave me no answer at all. He also didn’t say anything when I asked him if he want me to live him alone. I send him a gift with an “Im sorry” note and he became even more angry. Now he keeps ignoring me. He did not even read my last messages asking for forgiveness. This is my third day of No contact rule. I want him back. What do you think, I have a chance to get him back? I miss him everyday, I miss our talks, I miss everything… What should I do to get him back? Thank you
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 19, 2017 at 10:45 pm
why are you apologizing when you didn’t do anything wrong? check this one:
The Ungettable Girl
Naf
May 18, 2017 at 9:36 pm
Hello
We were in a distant relationship which we met each other a year ago.
We had a happy relationship which he always mentioned he feels happiness when he
talked to me.
Then my ex broke up with me ,cause after our meeting we had argue
and although i asked for forgiveness but he didnt talked to me.
I did NC for 1 month then when i sent him
message ,he replied me in a nice way then when i asked him for skype ,again he mentioned
the reason of break up with me .On January ,we met each other by Skype and he told me
he has still feeling but he has to forget me cause he has girlfriend recently.
We can be continue as a friend.I said OK but every time we talked ,he mentioned me
that still he didnt forget my body and when i was saying,lets come back together ,he said
this is just sexual attraction and he has to forget me .He even never
skype me anymore since that time cause he said it is better”No skype,No temptation”
Then he said to me happy valentine`s day then that night i said to him
that i downloaded and watched all his naked pictures again and enjoyed
(After break up we promised to delete all of them cause we were gonna be friends)
He got angry and said delete the source and i said i cant cause i read our chats
which is in your language and is good for practicing.
then he blocked me in Telegram and in his Whatsapp i said to him i did and he said
i cant believe and blocked me there too.
Then i sent him an email that he was so cruel to me and broke my heart badly.
Since 3 months ago that my boy friend blocked me,i didnt send him any message .Now he unblocked me but hasnt sent me any message.
Should i send him Hi or not? if i have to wait for him to send me message,how many days i have to wait?
Naf
May 22, 2017 at 4:07 am
Ok,his birthday is on july6.
I will wait till that time then send him happy birthday that day and im sure he will reply me but if the following days he wouldnt start the conversation with me,what should i do?
I realized he likes to see me i follow him .
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 24, 2017 at 1:30 pm
initiate again the next day or two if he replies.. if he doesn’t wait a week.. it’s ok to initiate, what’s more important is that you’re the one ending the conversation in high note.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 19, 2017 at 10:25 pm
let more time pass and be active in improving yourself and in posting.. especially if you didn’t do that in the past months.. because you dont want to look like you’re just waiting for him to unblock you.. do at least 3 weeks
SAM
May 14, 2017 at 10:20 pm
I need your advice. I don’t know whether I should continue to pursue my ex or just give him time… Here’s my story: I started dating Mark in Feb of 2016. We had an instant connection and at the end of our first date, he pressed me up against my car and laid on one of the most passionate kisses I’ve ever head. It was a whirlwind after that and he fast tracked a relationship on me: week 3 he asked me to be his GF, week 4 he took me on a romantic trip to a beach cottage, week 5 he introduced me to his children at the lake house, and week 6 he said I love you. I didn’t say it back at first as it just seemed to be going so fast, but I certainly felt it. I loved him. We were talking about marriage and babies. Then we had our first argument: it was a late Sunday evening, we were both fighting a cold, it was getting late and he was still entertaining his brother and his brother’s friend, I was tired and grumpy, I tried to explain to him that I came over to his place to be with him, but he insisted I was trying to start an argument which he said his ex-wife always used to do, he kept asking me to leave, never once did we say anything nasty, it was all very respectful, I eventually apologized for being a brat, he accepted and calmed down, we had amazing sex after, and I thought all was well. Then he started pulling away and not messaging as much. He later explained that he felt like he was being pulled in too many directions and didn’t have time to keep up with his responsibilities and felt guilty for not giving us a chance. He was also concerned that we had a communication disconnect (which I don’t think we did). I understood this and accepted it and told him that we should just focus on quality and not quantity of time. He really does have a lot going on: 2 very active teenage children that he has more than his ex, a brother with terminal cancer who lives with him and doesn’t have much longer to live, and a new start up business. He broke up with me in June 2016 by text 2 days before my birthday saying that he was sorry for doing this by text but was afraid that if he met with me or spoke with me by phone that he would agree to continue the relationship. I was so shocked that I freaked out. I then did a full 30 days of NC and when I reached out to him by text, he responded within a minute in an overwhelmingly positive way. That was in July 2016. We’ve been texting each other since then with most all of the texts being initiated by me. He almost always responds (unless he’s overwhelmed or stressed) with long flirty fun text messages. We’ve also gone on a few dates and I’ve had sex with him twice. The last time I was with him was right before Thanksgiving 2016. We had an amazing time: as soon as he saw me he pinned me against the wall and laid on a passionate kiss and kept doing that throughout the night, we went to dinner and he sat on the same side with me, we held hands all through the movie, and then went back to my place and lit a fire and had amazing sex. During our last date: he told me how he wanted to ask me to spend Thanksgiving with him and his family but I was heading out of town, asked about spending Christmas with me in Colorado, and talked about a beach trip to California, and then he went dark on me (yet again) as his brother was very sick and in the hospital. Our communication was very little through December to April as I was hurt. I reached out to him on his birthday in April. He responded back and asked me to meet him after work for a drink. We met up and had some somewhat awkward conversation (because we hadn’t seen each other in 5 months). We hugged at the end and he kissed me on the check. Now we’ve been texting every few days. And two weeks ago we were sexting and he told me that’s he’s been fantasizing about me for the last several months and that I was the best sex he’s ever had and he can’t get me out of his mind. But again, he feels he’s too busy for a relationship. I guess I’m confused about whether he really is too busy for me or if he doesn’t see enough value in our relationship to continue dating… Should I keep reaching out to him by text? Or should I give him time to figure his stuff out and hopefully miss me?
SAM
May 15, 2017 at 5:03 pm
I don’t think that we’re friends with benefits… We had sex twice after two amazing dates in the last 9 months. There’s still a lot of attraction between the two of us. My question again is: Is he truly too busy for me or does he not see enough value in our relationship? Do I need to continue to work on creating value through text messages or give him space to come back to me?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 16, 2017 at 5:22 pm
yeah but you’re sexting and he said sex with you is all he thinks about…not a commitment.. both of that can be true actually..he can be saying the truth that he’s busy no matter how busy you are, when you’re interested in something, you’ll make time for it.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 15, 2017 at 3:54 pm
If I was in your case, I would stop talking to him because you’re more of friends with benefits if it’s just sex and no commitment..