He Said We Are Never Getting Back Together, Does He Mean It?

78 thoughts on “He Told Her They’d Never Get Back Together…. He Lied!”

Taryn Menyennett

November 11, 2017 at 8:20 am

Hi
So my bf broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. He said he was unhappy, but he is unhappy with every aspect of his life. Only a week later did I find out he had reconnected with his first love and felt he deserves that little bit more happiness. I’ve never really built a life with someone and right now I’m so angry and hurt. It came out of no where and no one saw it coming. Everyday has been a struggle. It’s just gone and I have to accept it.

I don’t know if I will even get a chance to be with him again. Everyday I have to do things that we did alone and he is just ok…

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 13, 2017 at 1:14 am

Hi Taryn,

do you want to try the no contact rule?

Irene

November 7, 2017 at 4:10 pm

Hi, my boyfriend for a year broke up with me, this is the second time we broke up but this time i think he is serious. He broke up for a reason that he not lucky, currently he has financial issues and might loose his job. He is saying, he is hurting coz i love him. He blocked me. How can i get him back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 8, 2017 at 7:01 pm

Hi Irene,

do you want to try the no contact rule?

Tyra

October 8, 2017 at 10:07 pm

Hello. My fiance and I broke up 6months after our engagement which was a year and half ago. After 5 months of breakup, he tried reaching out to me and he was sorry we broke up, he asked family and friends to beg me but I wasn’t having any of it, I with held the sex just to know how he lf he had truly changed. Well one week after accepting his apology and ready to give our relationship a chance, he ghosted on me and stopped picking my calls or reaching me and was always saying he was busy. I then cut off all communications with him and blocked him off, it was so heartbreaking, I thought he was back for good.
Now 9 months later he is back again with same apologies and wanting us to be back, it felt so real that I forgave him and slept with him and now one week again he has ghosted on me. I feel so used and hurt, I want him back so much but I don’t understand why he behaves this way, when we love each other so much and it is obvious that he finds it difficult to move on and I could see that he still loves me but I see so much anger in his eyes. Is there a possibility of us getting back together or is this a game to him? Do I move on? So confused

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 10, 2017 at 12:10 pm

Hi Tyra,

Check this one:
How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back If You Slept With Him

Fiora

October 7, 2017 at 10:48 am

Hello,
My bf and i broke up two weeks ago after a 16 mounths relationship , it wasn’t our first break up , he broke up with me last april and came back like 10 days after , begging me and crying .. i didn’t want to come back even that i loved him , but he was really abusive so i had to wait and see if he’s gonna change ( he promised me will ) And it felt like he did change .
i was back with him in july , but he was still abusive and mean after just one month (he was’ as toxic as before but still ) i tried my best to tell him that he is hurting me but he didn’t understand .I decided to stop talking to him/ contacting for a week (without breaking up , just to show him my anger) i was just mad and wanted him to understand how hurt i was .. we eventually talked and he broke up with me AGAIN by just saying « it’s over , u didn’t talk to me for a week so this is what u get » .
15 days later i called him and set up a meeting to talk about the break up , i told him that we’re grown ups and a serious relationship like ours doesn’t have to end this way , with just a sentence « it’s over » ..we even held hands while talking about the break up ..we have been in a relationship for almost a year and a half and although he was abusive i just want him back and save the relation and maybe change him completely.. but he just said « we will never be together i made my decision » and after asking him if he still loves me he said « no , and i’m not ready to be in a relation where we fight more thab we get along »
I know he loves me, he just need help because he has a lot of problems in his life and i always supported him ( even though i was his emotional punching ball ) .
Do you think he will come back ? I’m applying the NC currently.. he always comes back and appologize after breaking up and saying horrible things but i don’t think he will this time ..
( sorry for the bad english i’m french lol)
Thank you .

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 8, 2017 at 11:03 pm

Hi Fiora,
Check this one:
Should You Get An Emotionally Abusive Ex Back?

Andrew

October 5, 2017 at 3:59 pm

Hello,
I am a gay man and I have been in a relationship with this amazing guy for 7 months. We used to fight a lot. We loved each other a lot but we would start to fight over petty things that would turn into a huge argument. Early September, he broke up with me after an argument saying that he feels out of love. He said that we are both Type A personalities and are not compatible. I tried my best to convince him to not to break up with me, even begged but he wouldn’t listen. Two days after the break up he texts me asking how I was doing. I thought maybe he wants to reconcile so I asked him to get back together to which he said that He doesn’t feel the same way about me. Then I didn’t contact him and he would text me on and off to which I would reply. He got jealous when I posted a picture with another guy and texted me to ask if I had moved on already. I told him that the guy in the picture is just a friend. He asked if I would like to have dinner with him and I said yes. Two days before dinner, he came and hugged me out of nowhere at a volleyball game (we play in the same sports center but in different courts) and I gave a very cold reaction because I was very surprised to see him. He texted me after the games saying “You didn’t seem very happy to see me, I was surprised oh well…..” and I replied “Well I was surprised as I wasn’t expecting it”. Then two days letter, I texted him “Good Morning, what time are you thinking for dinner”, and he made an excuse and canceled it. I know he did it because I gave a cold reaction at the games. I got mad and asked him to meet for coffee. We met nicely but he was crying a lot saying he misses me and I said that I was very hurt depressed and even suicidal that he broke up with me. I also told him that it was his decision and I am okay with the decision but I am not okay with the idea of being “just friends” with him. I asked him to take a week and let me know if he wants to be with me or we decide to stay in no contact at all. But only after two days, I was anxious and I called him. he was worried that I was suicidal and came running to my place. I explained that I am not suicidal but I need an answer to help me move on. He said he can’t be with me because he respects me enough to not be with me out of pity and he feels out of love. I want him but I feel that I have no self worth left now. Should I try NC or should I forget about this guy? I know he loves me but he feels we are incompatible.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 6, 2017 at 10:28 pm

Hi Andrew,

Try nc first. COntinue improving yourself while slowly building rapport.. if it doesn’t work, continue improving yourself but move on.

Zeeland82

July 31, 2017 at 8:47 am

Me and my ex have been together for 2 years. I made him wait a year before introducing him to my kids(A HUGE step for me. Luckily they hit it right off which resulted in him purchasing a home for us and also future plans for after I graduate were discussed regularly. We broke up before for 2 months as a result of a conversation about his high school friend who msgs him. He claim to be done then, just needed to see my face. We both cried like babies and we got back together. 2 weeks of being in absolute bliss, him and the kids settling in AND! Just so happened that it was this same high school friend who facilitated our breakup, a long messy breakup that involved outside people on his part. I messaged him to tell him that we were done after days of getting mouthed from his fb/hs friends. So many lies and fake stories were made at this point neither of us probably know the truth. The sad part is we haven’t spoken to each other since this day (All communication during breakup were through outside sources) A few days after the blow up he text my friend out of town, him wanting to know if I had moved on so quickly. NOTHING SINCE! I’m scared, confused, anxious. It’s been exactly 30 days since i cursed him and started no contact and Im REALLY missing him. I deactivated all social accounts, blocked his number and emails. I’m super nervous about initiating contact fearing he still may be stewing in the breakup since it was so god awful. I’m sending him a short but very positive message, I’m terrified at the thought of his reply. (Oh’ he missed my bday which is something he wouldnt usually do. I know it was 6 days after the break up, but still..)

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 31, 2017 at 4:59 pm

You need to extend it because you have to be actively improving yourself and posting in social media during and after nc

mercy

May 1, 2017 at 3:43 am

Hi?
My boyfriend and I broke up because we fight a lot It’s not the first time we’ve parted ways though.He has left me before because i cheated on him.
I feel my situation is hopeless because he said i should move on and he we will never date me again. He told me that 6 days ago. I am scared though because I begged for him to give me a chance. I texted him a lot, called him multiple times and he blocked me. All he kept on saying was… he is never coming back ,I’m too much, he has given me many chances but I never change and he is tired.
I then decided to give him space and do no contact. I’m currently on the 5th day of it but yesterday my friend asked him if he would give me a chance but he said no.. He is not going to give me a chance again. That really hurt me because even after giving him space for five days he’s not willing to try. He told my friend it ended well but i feel like we didn’t agree and that i know it’s over. Does he mean it? He hasn’t showed me any signs of coming back and I am so scared that even if I continue with the no contact,he is never coming back.
He even told my friend that she should find him a through pass and opted for another friend of mine. It does hurt so much but i still want him back. What should I do and I’m already feeling hopeless despite it being day five of no contact? I’m not willing to give up on him. It hurts so bad and I feel he is serious about not trying a relationship with me. Please help me get him back. I’m losing hope in no contact yet it’s still early. What should I do and how long should I take in no contact to have a chance and not have him move on to another girl? I want to change and improve myself. Can I have a chance really if he is still saying he doesn’t want me back? Please help me Amor. I’m depressed

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 1, 2017 at 11:49 am

you have to change your mindset.. not willing to lose him will make you desperate which is not ungettable.. move on without fully moving on. change genuinely and have your own life..

Hannah

April 24, 2017 at 2:23 pm

Hello, my ex and I had been dating for 2 years however I had moved to go to school about 2 hours away and he went to school back home. We started dating when I was a senior in highschool and he was a junior. From the day we started dating I knew he was the one. We talked about getting married someday and all that. However in the fall when I went away to school we were fighting a lot and I was very insecure of us being apart. So he finally cut it off with me. He was mean and wouldn’t talk to me no matter how much I begged for him or tried talking to him then after a couple weeks he would text me and we would hangout then hook up and this cycle went from October to December. I would always try to fix things with him and he would tell me he just wanted to be single, that he didn’t love me anymore and that we would never get back together. Finally after new years I just told him I was done because I was tired of the back and forth we didn’t talk for a month then he reached out to me. We started talking more and he would blow up my phone and constantly drive to come see me. It was like we were back together again. This lasted for about a month and half until one week we kept arguing over stupid things and he started distancing himself from me which in turn would upset me even more. So on that Saturday we were texting and I asked him if over the summer he would like to move in with me and he told me yes. However then as the day went on we got into an argument about me going out and him going to a party because he was suppose to come see me. So then I gave us a couple days to cool down and I texted him on tuesday and was just basically like I know I haven’t talked to you in a couple days I wanted to give us space because I didn’t want to go down that road of arguing again and how you aren’t mad. then he responded basically saying he would just rather not talk that he wants to be single and not have to answer to anyone or worry about hurting my feelings. So I asked how he could go from Saturday telling me he loves me to this and he told me he loves me he always will just not in love with me anymore and doesn’t see us getting back together ever again. I tried to convince him that things were way better then before because they were but he wasn’t listening so I stopped texting him. Then a week later he texted me about this girl that had just broke up with her boyfriend of three years. He said hey and I didn’t answer then he texted me again and said I would appreciate if you text me back and then I didn’t answer and then he said I know you have your phone so please answer so I answered and basically he said he heard I was going to start stuff between this girl and her ex and I basically was like well I heard you were talking to her and he told me they are just friends that he doesn’t like her in that way and would never try for her. Then when I brought up why he originally supposedly texted me he said he doesn’t care about this guy and this girl. So he told me he wasn’t going to try for her and I didn’t respond then later he texted me and asked if I wanted to know anything else and I didn’t answer. Then a week later I went to formal with my best friend and I noticed that he liked my pic on insta which was odd because after we break up he blocks me on everything. I had a bad feeling about this and didn’t know why. The next morning I woke up and he had changed his profile pic to him this girl that just got out of a 3 year relationship and another girl and another guy. Then a couple hours later noticed he had blocked me again. Then a couple hours later he texted me and sent me a picture of my best friend and this guy I had talked with when my ex and I weren’t together that the guy had posted on insta and asked if I was back to hooking up with this guy I had hooked up with in the time my ex and I was not together. I told him I wasn’t even in that picture or even there and he responded oh I figured you were there like every other time and I was like no I wasn’t what my friend does in her free time is her free time and he didn’t answer and he unblocked me on insta again. Later that night I saw that the girl that just got out of a relationship went and liked like 10 of my ex pics so i got mad sent the screen shot of his profile pic and her liking the pics and was like just tell me the truth on what is going on and he told me nothing is going on they are just friends that he doesn’t like her in that way. So i finally just dropped it. Then during the week I got a snap from his cousin of my ex saying don’t do that she will have a fit and then his cousin said my ex talks with this girl. and i responded and said I know and she sent me back a video of her laughing. Then towards the end of the week I got a message from one of this girls friends asking me about my ex and this guy basically said that this girl and my ex was talking to I texted my ex and was like well I wish you guys the best I wish you would of just been honest but I want you to be happy. and he responded saying that nothing is going on. that they are just friends and told me he had been honest. However then this weekend which was a week later after I had talked with him. People sent me pics that my ex had posted on snap chat which was of this girl with the heart eyes and another one with the fire emoji. Then I seen on my ex cousin snap she posted two pics of this girl one saying she loves her and another with my ex saying my favs. I didn’t text my ex or anything because I didn’t want to give him a reaction. I don’t know what to do though. I still want to be with my ex and I believe we are meant to be but now he is with this girl so I don’t know how I can get him back.

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 29, 2017 at 8:20 pm

are you in the no contact rule right now?

Linda

April 14, 2017 at 3:13 am

Hi! I broke up with my boyfriend 3 years ago after living with him for 4 years. I put him through a lot bc we fell in love just after a 17 year marriage and I had a lot of stuff I brought into the space that wasn’t healed yet. But we also had a very close and strong relationship with a lot of love.
I realized in Dec. that ‘he’s the one’ for me and reached out to him in a letter to him letting him know and what I appreciated about him….and he told me that he’s seeing someone else, that he’s “not closed” to the idea of us, but not right now. I know he’s hurt and is concerned about things being how ‘they were’….which it wouldn’t be bc I have really done a lot of work on myself. He was head over heels for me the whole time and I just wasn’t ready.
We’ve been really good friends and very close throughout the 3 years. It feels like I should stay in contact with him to build up the rapport and trust again, keep things light, but keep showing him the ‘new’ positive changes in me. He mentioned he was happy I was doing well bc I have been loosely keeping him posted with new developments through text and pictures. He doesn’t do social media.
I have 2 questions:
1. Would you recommend I tell him that I care about him and if that other woman makes him happy then I’ll be happy for him so he doesn’t think I’m staying in contact with him to win him back? and…..
2. NC doesn’t feel right. Do you think it’s ok to stay in contact with him to build rapport and fun back up?

Thank you.

Linda

April 20, 2017 at 4:41 pm

Hi! I broke up with my boyfriend 3 years ago after living with him for 4 years. I put him through a lot bc we fell in love just after a 17 year marriage and I had a lot of stuff I brought into the space that wasn’t healed yet. But we also had a very close and strong relationship with a lot of love.
I realized in Dec. that ‘he’s the one’ for me and reached out to him in a letter to him letting him know and what I appreciated about him….and he told me that he’s seeing someone else, that he’s “not closed” to the idea of us, but not right now. I know he’s hurt and is concerned about things being how ‘they were’….which it wouldn’t be bc I have really done a lot of work on myself. He was head over heels for me the whole time and I just wasn’t ready.
We’ve been really good friends and very close throughout the 3 years. It feels like I should stay in contact with him to build up the rapport and trust again, keep things light, but keep showing him the ‘new’ positive changes in me. He mentioned he was happy I was doing well bc I have been loosely keeping him posted with new developments through text and pictures. He doesn’t do social media.
I have 2 questions:
1. Would you recommend I tell him that I care about him and if that other woman makes him happy then I’ll be happy for him so he doesn’t think I’m staying in contact with him to win him back? and…..
2. NC doesn’t feel right. Do you think it’s ok to stay in contact with him to build rapport and fun back up?

Thank you.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 22, 2017 at 3:46 pm

You’re more likely to be friend zoned if you kept in touch..do no instead and then slowly build rapport after
Linda

April 17, 2017 at 5:10 pm

We saw each other about once a week. We’d go to a movie, dinner, just hang out, hold hands, walk arm in arm, cuddle at the end of the night. Stopped having sex about a 1 1/2 years ago. There’s always been a lot of love between us but I wasn’t ready to compromise my lifestyle for the one he wanted. I had things from my past that I needed to heal before I could commit to him fully and some growing up to do, and it wasn’t until I dated other people that I realized he’s the one I’d want to spend the rest of my life with.
I temporarily moved away last Aug. to help out my family and am not going back til the end of this year…and I think he started seeing the other woman sometime around the end of last year while I’ve been away.
I think in the past 3 years while I was getting ‘closer’ to knowing I could commit my life to him, he was getting comfortable with the idea of not being together -understandably. I would need to really show him that I’m serious and have had the necessary changes, which I’ve had…but I’m not there to show him which makes it hard.
I put him through a lot while he was crazy about me. He called me right away when he got my love letter. We talked about the things I did that bothered him when we were living together and I told him I understood how difficult that must have been for him and how I had come to realize the compromises I would be happy to make just bc I knew how important they were to him and how important he is to me. I could tell he was happy with all my responses while he aired out his grievances with me, and at the same time I ‘feel’ he thinks it’s too risky to get back together with me bc of the possible stress I’d cause him and feel he might feel its better to walk away. He said he realized he was being codependent with me and put up with a lot more than he should have.
He said “there’s someone I like a lot and I want to see where it goes” And then he said, “but if you want to know the truth I still spend most of my time alone”…so it doesn’t seem like they’re spending a lot of time together.
The truth is I ‘have’ changed…and I know he can feel it and see it in the little videos and photos I’ve texted him from what I’ve been doing while away. The trouble is I’m not there in the same city with him so he can ‘really’ see it and trust it. So….
I’m planning to go there in May bc I think it’s imperative that he sees it in person. I told him “I’m taking a trip there next month to touch base with some friends and as birthday gift to myself”…and before I could suggest about getting together he said, “well let me know and I’ll make time to see you”.
I’m keeping it light and casual since professing my love to him and bc I know he’s seeing someone. I think I can see him on 3 different occasions while I’m there. For the most part I’m keeping it casual and light, except I feel I need to see him face to face so he can see that my love for him is where he always wanted it to be. I will be strong and not needy, but want him ‘to feel’ that my love for him is solid. I won’t go into deep conversations bc he’s seeing someone and I want to respect him.
I also want to be a subtle interruption to this new relationship if possible before it gets more serious or at least rekindle any sparks to keep hope alive…we’ve always been so happy to see each other when we do.
I’m worried bc he has been so slow to respond to my texts and sometimes not even responding which he ‘never’ did. When we do talk on the phone which is about every couple of weeks, he’s always really cheerful with me…but they way he is responding to my texts shows me he is slipping away -he always responded to me right away in the past.
He has had a lot of family visiting over the past few weeks and I know he’s extremely busy, but I’m afraid that they are advising him to stay away from me….which I wouldn’t blame them, but they don’t know that I’ve made the changes necessary to be a loving wife. They all used to really like me, but I broke their brother’s heart.
I don’t know if I should step away completely to give him is space or stay loosely in his life and be patient? OR… perhaps establish some good memories when I see him again while having him see & feel the changes with no expectations, and THEN go to NC to give him space. What do you think? This is torture!
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 16, 2017 at 8:03 am

ahm wait.. correct me if I’m wrong. You broke up 3 years ago, kept talking for 3 years, then last december you told him how you felt? In those 3 years, you didn’t know he had a gf? and how often did you see each other?

taylor

April 6, 2017 at 12:37 pm

Hi Chris
I cheated on my bf two weeks in the relationship with my ex box I was unsure of I wanted him he found nd never told me or should I say confronted me, after 5months dating we left each other but we were communicating, I wanted attention so I sent him a mssge saying I cheated on him, in his mind I did it twice bcz he said he 4gave me the 1st time he doesnt know if it’s true or not be can’t trust me, then he asked for a break in this break he cheated on me so when we since last year we tried to pull it off then he told me he couldn’t do it then I chased him out of my room and the next day he officially dumped me..I tried begging him but he didnt want to he told me he didnt think this relationship would get this far and how much he wanted nothing serious with me at the moment and that he loved me as a friend but when he dumped me he said he still loves me, he said he doesnt like the person I am he doesnt want me drinking nor going out to clubs he said I will never change and he he doesnt want anything serious right now, his 2 years younger than me we both doing the same course in university we have been friends for 3 years he tried perusing me 2 years back but I turned it down..how can he not expect it wouldn’t get this far when he was talking about the future with introducing me to his brothers he even once told me about a dream he had were he was scared to introduce me to his mother which he loved to death but then I’n the dream me and his mom were drinking coffee and getting along quite well…I’m confused I feel like giving up bcz he said his blocking my blessings …I’m in my second week of no contact and I feel like myb I’m waiting my time because of the age and how he made it clear with me he can’t be with someone like me. Should I go on with NC? And improving myself???

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 8, 2017 at 4:58 pm

if not, what’s your plan? to chase him or move on?

Melody

March 17, 2017 at 11:29 pm

Background: I have been with this man since June of 2010 (off/on) We have lived together…me , him, my 3 kids, and later one of his 3 children joined in (now graduated college and left nest). We have had rocky ups and downs. From the start I was honest and said what I wanted before we jumped feet first (moving in together)…but that is really feet first. He was still in the military at the time and so we really was touch and go as I was so used to because I had gotten out of the military before him and way before we met. Any way….He proposed one day without a ring. I was upset, because there was no ring. Heres a man who has taken great care to anytime he surprises me so i was a little upset about not having a ring. Argument over that and then I had a ring and new proposal. A year went by and nothing. He just did his routine of video games and of course we went out and did things but it was just angering me that we didn’t have a plan to marry. So after a few arguments around Christmas 2014, I moved out in March 2015. Our contact then was touch and go and we both agreed on the separation. He never missed any of birthday or christmas when it cam to me and my children. In June 2015 we started seeing each other again. 2016 comes and things are moving and I was feeling like we were in stealth mode. I wanted a commitment. I put in my mind to give him 6 months to get it right and then he threw a curve ball and said he was moving to Florida. He found a renter for the house and he left because he said he hated the state of Va. So now I am forced into a long distance relationship. He promised he was doing this to get established and reorganize finances and start over. Meanwhile from the move up to October 2016, we saw each other every single month for periods of a week or more, because he would stay with me when he came up. In October he proposed again and said we would get married in June 2017. Well In November, I started to notice a change in behavior when he was leaving after visiting for 2 weeks. Then in December I blew a gasket. I was upset that he wanted to change up the plan again but in the same breath say he didn’t want to mess up the kids school schedule. I was more upset because in November I had moved somewhere smaller and cheaper and where I could break the lease so when it came time to move when the kids were out of school, it would be fine. He left the day after Christmas after being with me for almost 2 weeks. He didn’t talk to me until around the 21st of this past January. Then he decided to come see me. I was expecting that we would talk about what happened in December and get past it, but instead he went on to talk to my children about the move to Florida (where he is). Then he proceeded to dictate what I was going to get rid (the furnishings and my business items, which is how I provide) of before the move. I wasn’t happy with that and proceeded to ask questions. Then he said lets go to pre-marriage counseling. But never made the appointment for us to go. Because my insurance will not cover it, but his will, he said he would and never did. So then I asked about marriage plans, since we were suppose to get married In June this year and he says well lets see how counseling goes. I blew a gasket. I felt like he was making things up as we get closer, especially when I couldn’t tell anyone about getting married because it was uncertain since he kept changing it up according to finances. Now this seems stupid why we fell off…but i can admit I blow a gasket and argue about things that seem to be ever changing. When I am calm about it, like our conversation in December, he yells. He left in December because I said I didn’t want to do something and because I talked about the marriage plans. He said it sounded like an ultimatum and left. Now he left inJanuary this time because he said he was sick of going back and forth when he said we would get married….if we made a plan for June, why do you keep adding on other things. Premarital counseling wasn’t an issue, but it was something i suggested long ago and he declined. Whenever we make plans, he needs spontanatinety …whereas I love a plan of action. The last time i saw him was Jan 26 of this year. Since then he has sent money (significant amount in Feb) and he sent a gift on Valentine’s day. Texting was slow and phone conversations were never. When we did talk it was dry like he didn’t care. Mar 6, 2017 he sent money and arranged to have my car maintenance only because I called him. We talked all that day but not about us. He said he loved me before I went to bed. On yesterday at the wee hours of the morning he called. We talked about us. After a long heart breaking conversation about me being angry for wanting to be married before we move to Florida and about the millions of changes every time we get to this point (2nd engagement)…I asked him if he loved me…he said yes…I asked was he in love with me, he said yes. I said do you want to be with me he said no. We have almost 7 years together —— I love this man. I know he loves me too. He started the NC first this time, however i am aware it is contact if you send a gift, money or do anything where the other party is aware. I am on Day 10 of no contact with him… I am afraid. Does this seem possible to get him back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 21, 2017 at 5:54 pm

Hi Melody,

communicate better.. let him know what you want because he doesn’t know that.. if you dont want to move to Florida, tell him why.. but dont do it while you’re angry..I think there’s still a chance.. just communicate better after nc

Erin

March 14, 2017 at 10:42 am

I did NC for a month, he didn’t reach out. So I did, we were talking, being friendly. Because he said ” I want to be friends and see if we can build back up to a relationship. ” So we were talking again, ended up on the phone with him. Asked if he meant it when he said he didn’t love me when he first left. He said he was sorry but he did mean it. Then I said to him ” you never want to be with me ever again, do you? ” and he said no. So he strung me along while we were talking, pretending he wanted to slowly work back up to a relationship, then admitted it was all bull. Also when we were ” trying ” I was constantly having to message him first. So now what do I do? It’s been over a month since the breakup and he is still sticking to what he said in the first place. I did NC, made sure my fb was active and happy, good photos. And I just got the same result as at the start. So what now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 16, 2017 at 8:02 am

Hi Erin

doing nc alone is not the sole solution. It’s a process.. after it you have to slowly build rapport while continuing to improve yourself.. Your questions were confrontational and it also showed you want him back, so now he knows your every move after that os to try to get it him back, which is what he doesn’t want right now.. It’s either you move on or do one last 45 day nc, accept he has moved on. So, that the goal is to reattract him.

Anna

March 13, 2017 at 3:08 pm

Hi Amor!
Some background story, my ex and I dated for almost six months when we broke up. We had broken up once before, it was just days before we got back together. This time it was an actual breakup. Throughout, the relationship we had problems that were small but made major, on both of our side. The reason we broke up was because we believed we were fighting too much, which I have looked back and it really wasn’t. The last time we talked about our relationship he told me that he wasn’t tired of me but that it was too much to come back from meaning that he believed he had made a lot of harm by breaking up with me. I completed the no contact rule and received a positive response when I first contacted my ex. He responded positively the rest of the days, but it soon became a thing which he messages me consistently and in others barely wants to talk. I’ve noticed it’s usually when I take long as in an hour or two (tops) to answer. We talked on the phone, he asked me if I had moved on I told him that I had that I’m getting there; he told me that he had done so, that he thought it was too soon for me to talk to him. I asked him if he wanted me to not talk to him that it was fine (I was literally playing with fire) well he told me that no that it was okay. I’m just really confused, could he had really moved on? Might I be losing his interest text messaging me?

Thank you for your time!

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2017 at 12:40 pm

Hi Anna,

he probably just said that because you said you did so just keep on talking and building rappoer4

JJ

March 12, 2017 at 6:55 pm

Hi, EBR team!
My ex boyfriend of 3 months officially broke up with me on Monday and so it’s been kinda a week since we broke up. He said it would be better to break up because he knew it wasn’t gonna work out for us in the future and that it was pointless to try now because we would just be more hurt in the future. I couldn’t agree with it because it didn’t seem too valid for me, I wanted to live in the present and just let us be happy while he worried about the future. It’s not like I wasn’t willing to look into the future too but yeah, he just decided to push our relationship away because of that. Also, he sort of had a little financial issue, i think this also caused him to stop the relationship.

So anyway, when we broke up, he said he had been thinking about breaking up for 2 weeks or so and during the break up, both of us were crying and i had begged him to reconsider and tried convincing him. At the end, he said he’d try to rethink. But of course, we do know he’s not gonna change his mind.

Tuesday, I was feeling positive, thinking he’s thinking about it and everything esp since we’ve kept contact and he still asks me how i was doing.

Wednesday, I totally broke. I went through 3 stages of crazy-exgirlfriend moment. I had messaged him first telling him I wasn’t fine today and told him about my feelings (the sort of angry kind of thoughs, like why in a angry way), after, it became the let’s end this on good terms and try to be friends because he loves spending time with me and he didn’t want that to stop, it was supposedly ok, but right before bed, I went crazy, my thoughts were killing me so i messaged him again begging for just one chance and after a lot of “no, this is it, I’m not gonna try anymore”, he said yes to one day (Sunday). One day to try to change his mind.

Thursday, I spoke to my school counselor and everything because i couldn’t cope, and I had been thinking of what to do on Sunday, trying to make the perfect plan. It was hard because I only had one shot.

Friday, I couldn’t wait for Sunday. But then i realized that he was trying for me (I asked) on Sunday, not for us. He was sad and he didn’t expect me to hurt this much and I’m guessing he felt bad for me. i also said I’d stop pestering him once he gave me that one chance. But he said “even if I said yes to the chance but didn’t change my mind, you’d want to try again” but for my sake anyway. That night i begged to talk to him because my thoughts were running wilddd. He said no, he was tired because of work and Saturday he wanted a day of peace. He wasn’t gonna be on social media.

Saturday, after speaking to a friend the night before and she suggested to NCR. He had snapped me because we have a streak going, and I snapped back and added something like “oh never mind about coming over tomorrow, dw about it” and his reply was ah ok. That ended. So that night i went out with a friend to a bar and drank and snapped (not to him but just my story) and he messaged me on SC smth like “oh looks like you’re having a lot of fun. Hope you have a good evening” and stupid drunk me replied “oh thank you, I will I miss you” and got seened. mistake.

Sunday, my hand was itching to meet up with him. Yknow maybe this NC thing wasn’t gonna work for me and those things insecurities about it. I snapped him something and he replied “looking good xD” and i replied “:D”, seened again. Went out with my friend again that night, he didnt view my story snaps but he did send me a “streak” snap to keep it going.

Today is Monday, and i promised myself I really am not going to contact him anymore and seriously start the NC rule. We always kind of communicate everyday, even if it was just a streak snap. (He has those with most of his close friends) should i just break the streak? If he messages me about anything on fb, I know i ignore it, but do i seen it?

And honestly what are my chances of getting him back with the NCR? Apparently he explained to me that hes coping with this by “bottling up the sad and putting it away”. His decision does sound really final to me, but what do you think?

I do know in the end, i have to work on myself though this too, and i will, I’m trying slowly by not being so attached but right now, I’m torn too because I’m hoping it will work and also not because maybe he’s glad I’ll finally stop and move on and I’m scared because he does mean a lot to me. And maybe he’s just going though a really hard time and i should just be his friend?

Sorry for the long post but the frustration and thoughts are confusing me!

JJ

March 16, 2017 at 1:15 am

Bec I’m not locally from here and him too, we’re both in Australia to work and study, and he thinks i won’t be happy with him even if i went back with him or some sort like that. Basically i think hes over thinking everything right now?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 16, 2017 at 4:43 pm

yeah, he’s probably overthinking it
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2017 at 9:23 am

Hi JJ,

you dont have to do that.. just keep on improving yourself and in posting in social media..why does he think it’s not going to work out?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2017 at 9:18 am

Hi Trisha,

approach the no contact period like this one:
EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend
Dora

March 7, 2017 at 3:36 pm

I purchased Ex-boyfriend recovery pro how can I join the Facebook group?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2017 at 11:05 am

Hi Dora

when did you purchase it and is it the premium package? If yes, what email add did you use? I’m not going to publish your answer..

Alex

March 6, 2017 at 10:36 pm

Hi guys.

So, my ex and I have been broken up for about a year, after 2 years of being together.
Immediately following the breakup, emotions were extremely high on both ends (of course). I of course did my begging and pleading. He would still send me messages, or memories and saying that he missed me, etc. Off and on tried NC, and failed each time. Many mutual friends involved here… not to mention, he kept offering friendship and I kept shooting it down.

Fast forward to about three weeks to a couple of months ago. Suddenly things got super cold. I’m talking we were texting at a decent pace – emotion free messages – just friendly stuff. We had slept together a couple times (mistake, I know) – and then I finally was able to get him to agree to meeting out and talking. We did. He admitted that I was moving fast with the texts and that it was too much, and we needed to stop talking for a bit. We agreed to 2 weeks, and in that time frame I legit did not reach out. I did after the two weeks, and it was still no responses and no acknowledgments. I had moved into crazy ex territory, and I get that.

I should also mention that in the past year, I have made a lot of positive changes in my life. I’ve joined Taekwondo, have taken road trips to get away and experience new places, I’ve gotten really involved in my community, and I can sincerely say that while I WANT him back…I don’t NEED him back. I am getting on just fine; I just obviously miss him and sincerely believe we could be happy together and share these experiences. I’ll always have feelings for him.

I did speak to someone recently, that knows him and they told me that he mentioned that I hurt him – which I know I did. I apologised for many of the mistakes that I made, and I do know that I broke trust, and hurt him deeply – I just want him to see that I have changed, but I’m stuck at how to do that without coming across like a psycho forcing my change down his throat.

To come back to the topic – just the other day I sent him a message along the lines of “I understand that I’ve been a quote unquote crazy ex with the with the contact, and I apologise if I’ve overwhelmed you, I guess I just was holding on the 2 week number and thought we could talk again. If you need more time, feel free to let me know – I just want to be honest” – he responded with “you say you are being honest, but texting me all the time, and messaging isn’t giving me the space”. I told him that I understand, and that’s why I blocked him on FB, because I realised that I was doing too much and moving in obsessive direction. He said “I just don’t want to have to worry about you thinking we have potential…. I offered a friendship and it was denied. I’ve moved on”

Then, at 3am that night I get a message on an “app” saying, “surprisingly, there’s one form of communication I’m not blocked from”.

At this point, it feels as if he is trying really hard to keep up a front that he has nothing for me, or that he isn’t willing to communicate – but, I feel he is doing it because he is hurt and confused about what it could mean to open up to me again. I wouldn’t feel this way if his messages weren’t so angry and aggressive – or the 3am messages after he’s blocked from FB.

I’m just at a loss as to where to go from here, and how I can show him that I want to be nothing but honest with him, and rebuild our trust and connection from scratch.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2017 at 3:15 am

Hi Alex,

why not try to do a full nc instead?

Hannah

March 4, 2017 at 5:01 pm

Me and my boyfriend broke up 2 days ago, its our second time breaking up. We love and care about eschother but we both arent good menally. We need time to get better before we can have a healthy relationship. How long could this take? He wants to try again eventually

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 4, 2017 at 8:20 pm

Hi Hannah,

That’s hard to say. How long were you together? If it’s not short, you can try the 30 day no contact rule.

JS

March 2, 2017 at 1:15 pm

I have had a terrible break up. He gave up too easily on me and didn’t try very hard to convince his parents. I was done and dusted with the on-off relationship. I heard everything from “you are everything I could ask for” “You are the best” “I love you more than you do” to “I don’t want a life partner like you” “Handle your mess of this breakup on your own”.
He has always loved me for almost 5 years but he was a commitment phobic. His parents gave a strict denial to our relationship so I always left him thinking he would try harder. But all he did was get back with me in some way or another without any commitment.
This time I decided to call it quits.

Day 1 to Day 3 I cried miserably. I wanted him to miss me but that didn’t happen
Day 4 I called him up, we spoke for 10 mins and he said he still loves me but there is no future so he will do as I suggested i.e. to never contact me again. I blocked him everywhere. I had taken my decision to move on. I started sketching on weekends. reading books after work. some or the other activity when free.
Day 10 He emailed me a one sentence “I am leaving”, I simply ignored
Day 15 He called and again I ignored
Day 16 He emailed me ” I understand why you didn’t answer my call. I won’t ever call again.” I ignored that too.

I know he loves me a lot but he can’t expect miracles to happen. His parents don’t like me and he won’t marry me without their consent.

I am so damn stuck in this on-off relationship. I have decided to move on. But honestly I want him to convince his parents and get married to him. I don’t know what to do.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 3, 2017 at 12:07 am

HI Js,

tell him, if he’s not willing to do that, move on. Because you can’t live life waiting on someone else to do something you want. You can’t control other people.

« Previous 1 2

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

78 thoughts on “He Told Her They’d Never Get Back Together…. He Lied!”