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3,819 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

  1. Hanaa

    July 2, 2013 at 3:25 pm

    i need your help as i have a big problem in my life now
    i was in love with some one after a very painful break up with some one else with few months . i thought i love him and i finally found my sole mate but after we got engaged some thing happened to me very strange that my feeling suddenly changed and i wanted my ex one and i started comparing between the new and the old one. but my new fiancee was so much loving me and he tried his best to make me happy ..we spent together 2.5 years but each time we set to arrange for the weeding i feel bad and i couldn’t continue ..so we decided to breakup together ..after break up he was in contact with all the people around me to know my news and some times he talked to me directly and i was friendly and i missed him .. he kept doing this for about 9 months but 3 months ago he started to date another woman .. when i knew that i went mad and i felt that i need to back to him and i called him but he rejected me and he said that he is in a new relationship and he doesn’t want to be back to me .. i feel hurted now and i want him back .. i don’t know why he extremely suddenly changed .. he wanted me to get back to him all the time and he kept asking all the people if i want to come back to him or not .. and once i decided to get back to him he refused and rejected me.. do you think he can come back to me ?? i regret him soooo much and i want him badly ..what can i do to make him back to me or it is hopeless
    please excuse my english as i am from Morocco

    1. admin

      July 2, 2013 at 6:15 pm

      Hi Hanaa,

      I have to ask you if this is a case of “I see him with another girl and now I want him?” Think really hard and figure out if that is the only reason you want him back. If it is then trust me, he isn’t worth trying to get back because you really don’t have the feelings you think you do for him.

      However, if you really want him back I would say all you can do now is the NC rule. Work on yourself and wait for your moment.

    2. admin

      July 2, 2013 at 6:15 pm

      Also, try to reestablish a talking relationship with him after the NC RULE

    3. Hanaa

      July 3, 2013 at 12:42 am

      i feel that i love him and i wanted him before i know that he is in a relationship with another girl but i couldn’t tell him because of my proud ( notice that we are an eastern conservative society ) i am actually not sure that i will be able to reestablish a new talking relationship with him after the NC rule also because of my proud .. i made some mistakes that i called him crying trying to get him back and i sent him sms telling him i can’t continue in my life without him and i had a chock and i went to the hospital and he knew about that from a friend and i sent him a Facebook message telling him that i love him but i will withdraw my self from his life because i don’t want to spoil his life and i did i don’t speck to him or contact him from a month but he called a friend of mine 3 times during that month to ask about me indirectly ..each time he sees me in the street he call my friend and ask about me. he told my friend not to tell me that he called but she told me

    4. Hanaa

      July 8, 2013 at 3:36 pm

      Hi Chris
      I want first to thank you for this useful website. I read all the articles and I told all my friends about it as it is a need to most of the people
      I have some questions regarding to my case above.. My ex boy friend still in contact but very little with my relatives and friends till now while he has a new relationship and he make general comments on facebook for my relatives and he is talking by phone with a friend of mine and some times asking about me .. do you think it is a good sign ?
      Second: my birth day is in 4 days ..i expect that he may send me SMS while I am in the NCR for 60 days I spent 38 days and until my birth day it will be 42 days no contact so it is advisable if he send me a message to reply as a kind of being polite?
      Last : I am trying to show him that I am happy by updating my facebook status writing for example feeling great, going with friends and putting some pictures ..is it a good thing to do now or I have to wait after the NC ends ?
      I want to remind you that I’m the one who dumped him and that was a year a go and I regret it and when I wanted to come back to him I discovered that he is in another relationship and he dumped me so do you think another long NC time will be useful and there is still hope ?

    5. admin

      July 9, 2013 at 2:28 am

      Wow Hanaa, did you really tell your friends? That is amazing thank you!

      First- it is a good sign that he is asking about you via your relatives and friends. Especially since it has been a year since you last dated.

      Second- I think that you just say a simple “thanks” to his text. If he wishes you happy birthday via facebook then like his comment (but make sure you like everyone elses as well.)

      Last- You should absolutely be posting happy things on Facebook during NC.

    6. admin

      July 3, 2013 at 3:03 am

      Yup, definitely stay true to the no contact rule. With all that you just said it might be a good idea to extend it to 60 days so you can give him time to remember the good times with you and hopefully get out of his new relationsihp.

  2. Kate

    July 2, 2013 at 1:16 am

    Hi, I emailed you like you said. Just making sure if you received it or not..thanks

    1. admin

      July 2, 2013 at 3:21 am

      I did and I will respond shortly (I have been really busy.)

  3. Veera

    July 1, 2013 at 8:12 pm

    We broke up 4 month ago and we were together for 7 years. He dumped me. After 1 month he started seeing his workmate and i believe that they live together now. After break up there were very 2 nasty month and then one no contact month. He drunk called me once then. Then i ask f he was going to get his bike, he said to me, that he did not want any contact cos he was happy in his new relationship and it would not be fair for any one of us, i said that i.m ok that he is seeing someone and i believe that we could be frieds and help each other. We had friedly e-mails for a week ( i was more active part) and then i heard that he got terrible fight with his girl. I havent contact him sense. Now it has been three weeks from that. I want him back. And i dont know what to do. We have had our one month already and then some friendly talk. Do you think i can start contacting him now, no more 30 days (or 2 weeks), cos this is so hard. I have been thinking all the good stuff and i´m in love again. And it really hurts

    1. admin

      July 2, 2013 at 3:25 am

      Hi Veera!

      This is always a tricky situation. If he is fresh on the heels of a breakup you probably should wait around a week before you contact him. BUT you need to be smart about how you contact him. Here is a tactic that I have been testing out lately that has had a lot of success.

      You text him with something really interesting.
      You hook him in the conversation.
      Then, once you have him hooked you simply don’t respond.

      I know it seems like a bitch move but it is going to put you in control and he will be wondering what the heck happened. Again, that is something I have been testing out so if you want to try it go for it. If not, then no hard feelings.

    2. Veera

      July 2, 2013 at 3:55 am

      Thanks! I will try to wait a week. This is so hard cos i´m afraid that i will loose him for this new one for good and that he is living a life with him life that he couldn´t live with me. I have cancer and there was a doubt that it has come back. I was so depressed before break up that i didn´t see that this new girl has her eyes on my man. i just lied on a couch lifeless. now i have changed and i believe that i am same person he fell in love with, and i just want to show him that. i have been on dates, started some old hobbies again and feeling good 🙂 i know guys check me out on the streets but i only want him back in my life. i feel that i ruined very good relationship and i feel like i deserve to work hard to get it back.

    3. admin

      July 2, 2013 at 4:33 am

      You had cancer :(. I am sorry. Well, everyone on this site is behind you. You will always have a friend and confidant here!

    4. Veera

      July 2, 2013 at 6:17 am

      I know this sound wierd, but i think he tried to contact me somehow after our emails. he got online on whatsapp, whitch he hasn´t done after our broke up and he had there a picture which i took. he made some funny smileys in his status about that picture, same smileys whitch i use in my status. and then after week he loged off. and then about 2 weeks ago he send me an email and told me that he lost one work opportunity and when i did not responce for that after week from that he send me an invoice (mine, he got it accidently) to my work mail. We never ever used our work mails for personal things. He knows i dont like that. that was very very wierd ( all other my invoices he had sent to my personal email) or mayby that was his way of sayin this is not personal any more. That is why i´m so apprehensive about this.

    5. admin

      July 2, 2013 at 5:48 pm

      Well if you think he tried to contact you then that would be a good thing.

  4. Marg

    June 30, 2013 at 12:30 pm

    He dumped me little under three months ago. Was in another relationship two weeks on which ended after a month. We grew close again but he maintained we would just be friends, though there was a lot of affection and it seemed to be heading in a good direction. This went on for a few weeks an then he met someone else and is now in ANOTHER relationship. We fell out and now I’m trying to go NC but he still texts to check in from time to time. Should I just give up hope? Did he use me to pass the time between these two girls?

    1. admin

      June 30, 2013 at 10:09 pm

      Maybe, but let me ask you this. Did you ever feel in control? Or was it him who was dictating where the relationship was going.

  5. Rose

    June 29, 2013 at 8:45 pm

    Please help. I contacted my ex when he had a girlfriend. We talked, met up with each other and slept together. He started to go back to dating his current girlfriend, saying he needs time to process things. If I initiate the no contact rule, do you think that will help to get him back, if I restart things in a month?

    1. admin

      June 30, 2013 at 9:50 pm

      I think your biggest error was that you slept with him. You basically said through your actions that you are a “friends with benefits” type of a deal which is not what you wanted but b/c you slept with him that is how he will view you.

      I DEFINIETELY think that the no contact rule will help you.

    2. Rose

      June 29, 2013 at 8:46 pm

      I also did do the wrong things, like text messaging too much, calling ttoo much, yelling etc.

  6. Flutterby

    June 27, 2013 at 4:12 pm

    Goodness..I’ve been looking all over for a place where I can just ask for advice on my situation. I was in a long distance relationship for 3 and a half years. We’ve seen each other often enough for it to be a base of history and there are many good memories, as well as bad, I guess. I was planning on going to his country to study..because we couldn’t work out getting him here..but after some time has passed, we’ve gotten very frustrated and demotivated because there’s been so many obstacles for us being together..also..we usually used to keep in touch almost all day every day when we weren’t together. We both have been having problems with depression and emotional issues..this guy has a hard time trusting as well. We’ve had troubles in the past, but somehow we always ended up back together. Lately he’s been working like crazy..and I’ve been having a very bad time being down and nervous about everything. I’ve been wanting to visit him soon and I asked him when would work for him..and after being cold and distant for a few days, he suddenly tells me that he thinks we have to figure out what we want before making any arrangements. I told him I know what I want..I want to be with him..and he tells me he just doesn’t know anymore.
    So I ask him if we should just keep it cool..and he says that he thought that’d be better for the time being..so we could work on ourselves.
    And I ask him if we’ll just stop talking and all..he tells me no, we can still talk and that he’s not cutting me out of his life. But he doesn’t want to hurt me..
    Then he just stops replying..and goes stone cold. Ignores me for 2 weeks..while updating his facebook frantically with mysterious posts compared to what he usually does..
    So..after a while I figure out he’s in a flirt with a girl on facebook..that lives in another state from him. And she’s going to visit him in not too long…I felt so shocked and disappointed by this that I deleted him as a friend..
    I got no reaction from that. I don’t know if I expected one..but the next day I messaged him saying that I’m currently not ready to be his friend..but that I wish him all the best. He replied that he understood..and he also wished me the best.

    Now I keep feeling rejected, paranoid and disappointed..
    I’m really trying to work on myself though..I am seeing a therapist and I’m still planning to go through with my studies in the same country as him. I don’t want to let him ruin that for me..but yeah, I go through so many thoughts a day. In the morning I miss him like crazy and can’t stop thinking that I’ll never ever see him again. And then other moments I’m relatively okay..I still love him so much though. But I do realise that I have to do some work on me..because I don’t want to be that needy, nervous person anymore…

    It might sound silly..but I have a small hope I’ll be able to get back with him..but this new girl really demotivates me. I keep thinking maybe he lied to me at the point of the “break up” because he’d already met the new girl at that point. I feel empty just thinking about it…

    1. admin

      June 28, 2013 at 1:55 am

      Take some time, via the 30 day no contact rule, to reasses your feelings.

    2. Kate

      June 30, 2013 at 2:06 pm

      Hi, my situation is very complicated. I’ve been talking to this guy for about 6 months. when we first started talking, we met and things went off to a good start. then he went back to his country for 3 months but we talked everyday. he showed so much love and affection. i was waiting for him to come back so we can start our relationship. Now, let me point out he lives in another state, about 5 hrs away. I met him once he came back and everything was fine. Until we had a fight and he broke up with me. I know my first mistake that i texted him the next day after our fight apologizing because i felt it was my fault. he hasnt responded to my texts for 2 weeks. One day finally he responds and tells me we can only be friends. I respected his decision and didnt contact him after that. we didnt speak for about 3 weeks. once we spoke after 3 weeks, he said he still has feelings for me. my mistake number 2 was i started expressing my feelings, which i know was too early to do right now. I should have played cool. we texted here and there again for couple of weeks. I met him again and i did mistake number 3, “Booty Call”. But at that time I felt it was ok to do so because I wanted him so badly. And I know it was the wrong decision. After that day, i stopped texting him. It was only him who would text me and I would respond after some time. Its been about a month now. I found out from a source that he was talking to another girl same time he was talking to me. But they never met, it was online dating. He was going to meet her soon until he found out she was cheating on him. Now, I know he is heartbroken. And it killed me to know that he is hurt that they broke up, but didnt feel a thing when he broke up with me. All the puzzle pieces came together. Now, me being a typical woman, we also want something that we cant have. He messaged me recently after his breakup. But he doesnt know that I know. I dont know if I want him back. I want to ask him about all this but I am afraid he will stop talking to me for good because he knows he hurt me a lot. I think right now he has an image of me as a “booty call”. I want to change that image in his head about me. I dont contact him but he does. Now, my question is, how can I make him realize what mistake he has made by choosing her over me. I want to be there for him to help him through this (yeah call me stupid). And make him appreciate me more and maybe one day come clean to me and apologize. I guess what im trying to say is, make him realize his mistake and how much he has hurt me. Should I do the no contact rule again? If possible, please email me so I can give in depth details, which I cant here. Thanks

    3. admin

      June 30, 2013 at 10:12 pm

      Hi Kate,

      Why don’t you email me here: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/contact/

      and you can ask me specific questions.

    4. Kate

      June 30, 2013 at 11:36 pm

      ok, just emailed you

  7. LiLA keney

    June 27, 2013 at 2:18 am

    my ex boyfriend and i broke up like 2 month ago, but we stil be friend and hang out together becuz we known that we still in love but cant be lover any more. and then he start to get a new girl 3 weeks go to now. I did no begging, act like friend , act lịke i have no more feeling with him, no actually contact ( sometime, very little by mess) and he same like he like her alot , he block my facebook becuz i updated a status make he think i have feeling with another guy( i think he want to focus on his girl , then kick me out of his line) but i stil act like i dont care. And then he found out that his girl still in lov with her ex, and he felt so sad then he told me he broke up with her , i dont know they still fight each other or not, but he has no contact with me, even thought he said he broke up with this girl. I dont know what to do . Did he move on from me, doesnt love me any more. Plz help me this situation. I really love him, he told me that becuz some how we cant love any more but if we can come back he will marry me

    1. admin

      June 28, 2013 at 12:40 am

      Give it some time, try no contact out and then come back later.

    2. LiLA keney

      June 29, 2013 at 5:36 am

      thank so much for ur advice 🙂 I still doing the no contact rule. And 2 days next his girl will be far away for 1 months so is that my chance or something 🙁 or i just keep doing the NC and then his girl will be back 🙁 Im so hurt right now, miss him so much. Dont know what to do in this situation, plz help me , tell me what should i do 🙁 thanks so much for helping

    3. admin

      June 30, 2013 at 9:47 pm

      Maybe what you could do is try a NC period of 15 days instead of 30 and give it a try?

    4. LilA keney

      July 1, 2013 at 6:07 am

      thank you so much , i already finish15 days, and today he contact me and he said he unfollow me in instagram with the reason that he saw i flirt with another man,because he still have feeling for me. And he act lịke he very angry with me and he want to delete me in his life, but after a short talk we back to normal and start be friend again. So, is that he still love me or not. what i have to do next. Im so confused now, dont know what to do. Plz help me, T.T

    5. admin

      July 2, 2013 at 3:17 am

      Seems like he still has feelings which is a really good sign. Now, I would say it’s time to push his emotional hot buttons. Work on SLOWLY getting him to feel like he felt during your relationship (during the good times of course.)

  8. Rhoe

    June 27, 2013 at 2:03 am

    Help!!! My ex and I are done but we both still love other…he has a girlfriend……help me please

    1. mel

      June 30, 2013 at 2:30 am

      I understand how you feel im in that same situation right now.

    2. admin

      June 28, 2013 at 12:39 am

      Can you give any more details?

  9. Aurora

    June 26, 2013 at 4:46 pm

    Please help!!!!!!!!
    Ok so me and my ex boyfriend andre have been in a long distance relationship for 4 years and some months. since we were 14yrs old. and now he is 19 and im about to be 19 soon. i live in Texas and he lives in brooklyn. we were very in love! until one day i made a mistake and flirted with this dude on facebook i told him i was in a relationship and asked the man why he was singe. he said his girlfriend cheated on him and i told him he wouldnt be single for long! andre got really upset and with that being the biggest mistake i made he held it aginst me and everytime i said “I love you!” he started to say you dont love me! well we were getting better way better. but we were broken up for like 4 months but were still talking like a couple about marriage and stuff. then i started asking oneday if he wanted me still, i said andre if you dont want me can you please tell me so that i can move on! i promised it would not hurt my feelings. he said im not answering that. so then a week goes by and we have phone sex. and the first flag was he had gotten way better at it. usually he was reserved but he was not now! i ignored it. well 3 days go by we are talking on the phone and laughing and he tells me he will call me back. then were teting. then he texts me “why arent you answeringgggg?” im at work so i text back im answering but your too busy with your new friends. Because he started hanging out with people from his job, and he was going to a party, and he never parties. but then i text him later and im like “andre?” he said “yea” i say how was the party? and he never texted me back so i start calling and texting and sending him video messages and i even wrote him a 2 page letter expressing how i felt thinking i did something wrong! well then i find out on may 21st that he has a new girl friend! and he has been dating her since april 5th (his birthday) and he stopped talking to me on April 27th! i was crushed. now idk what to do! i am moving to newyork soon and i dont know if i should contact him. i have not contacted him since may 21st but i miss my baby! i dont know what to do! please help. I believe in love! and i know i want this to work. but his new girlfriend lives near him! and he is sleeping with her and he was a virgen just like me! how could he just kick me to the curb. oh and the new girlfriend works with him! answers please!!!

    1. admin

      June 27, 2013 at 12:48 am

      Hi Aurora,

      Pretty name by the way, it seems to me that the long distance really hurt the relationship. Out of sight out of mind. I am a firm believer that long distance relationships that work are very rare.

      You could contact him but you need to be subtle about it.

  10. Andreea

    June 25, 2013 at 9:33 pm

    Hello there, dear Admin

    It kind of feels awkward to tell the whole story but what you wrote here seemed helpful to me. My ex and I have been dating for 5 years now. Everything went well until I cheated on him two years ago with the guy that I’m currently being with (because it started to be a routine into our relationship). Ever since, the problems started to grow bigger like his trying to make me gealous with his ex or telling me that he got bored and stuff, we also started to break up and take breaks. I realised the mistake I made and it felt awful, ofc I didn’t try to cheat on him ever again and I tried to make things work for us as much as I could, but still there were moments when we argued and got bored. This year I had to move out of town to study, but the distance isn’t that big so I came to visit every weekend. Meanwhile he made new friends, who didn’t seem to enjoy my presence, so yeah they might be an important factor of our breakup. We started seeing eachother less and less, the only thing we did was to argue at the phone and I became not only gealous but possessive, and I kept telling him the way his friends talk about me is not ok, because I’m far and he deserves best. The day we should have had 5 years he broke up with me. I didn’t talk to him ever since,blocked him on every kind of social media,and only saw his fb profile from a friend and I saw he got into a new relationship dating a week before breaking up. It’s been about 4 months since then and they seem to do pretty fine. I tried to move on, got back to the guy I cheated on him, who seems to love me and treat me well but to whom I can’t return my feelings anymore. I still think of my ex and I dunno if we still have any chance since his friends came into the subject. To be honest I have reflected these 4 monts and I have nothing with his friends, I even admit being possessive and interdicting him several actions which seem wrong to me at this moment. I hope I will get a reply.

    Thank you in advance,
    Andreea

    1. admin

      June 26, 2013 at 3:57 am

      Of course you will get a reply Andrea!

      Do you still communicate with your ex?

      Honestly, part of the problem might be the fact that you are in a relationship now that you don’t want to be in. You can’t expect your ex to want you back if you are with a new guy can you?

      Here is the thing though, even if you do get out of the relationship with the “cheating guy” there is no guarantee that you will be able to get back together with your ex. But the biggest thing I am seeing is that you are in a relationship now that you don’t want to be in.

      Take some time and make sure you are at peace with yourself. Really work on YOU.

    2. Andreea

      June 26, 2013 at 4:34 am

      Nope, we’re not communicating at all ever since. I’ve been afraid to bug in like ‘hey, you know, I want to talk to you again even though you hurt me’ aside from his might thinking that I’ll try to ruin their relationship. As for my actual relationship you are right, I involved in it a month after we broke up because I felt lonely and I wanted him to see that I moved on, which I didn’. It may sound selfish, but I don’t want to lose this guy either if it turns out I have no other chances. But I can’t be with both of them, can I?

    3. admin

      June 27, 2013 at 12:32 am

      Usually people frown on being with two people at once hahaha.

      I guess what you really want to do is completely up to you. If you want to give it a go with your current bf go for it, if you want to break up with him and attempt to be with the old bf then go for it. If you want to wipe the slate complete and start anew then go for that. The world is your oyster.

      Oh hey, I feel it is important to mention that I just published a new case study. You can sign up for it and get a step by step account of what it takes to get your ex boyfriend back. You should be able to find the case study on this page and find the box to sign up for it.

    4. Andreea

      June 30, 2013 at 6:02 pm

      Thank you again for the advice, and I will sign up! 🙂

  11. vanessa

    June 25, 2013 at 3:28 pm

    Hi there. I broke up with my ex and i want him back Now hes talking to someone else and it hurts me. Its been 7 months and i begged already. He still pushes me away. Its been the 3rd time we break up and we went out for a year and 25 days. Im pretty young for being this heart broken and i cant help it. I havent seen him because its summer. But will this really work? ):

    1. admin

      June 25, 2013 at 5:25 pm

      Will this really work, well it is unknown if it will really work. I can’t guarantee that your ex will come back to you. However, this method WILL increase your chances.

  12. Brittany

    June 25, 2013 at 2:35 am

    Me and my boyfriend of 3 years went on a break 6 months ago and recently he got back with one of his ex’s that he dated for a month(which she’s obsessed with him and has been for years). He recently told my dad that he is only with her because I wasn’t around and we grew apart and that torn him apart. My ex texted me and apologizeed and told me he missed my family and “what not”. We’ve been talking on and off now even though he’s been dating this girl for about 2 months but he’s being very open with me when he talks to me. I want him back and I know he wants me back I just don’t know how to approach it. I wanted to ask if what he said about her being a rebound was true and if so why didn’t he try and talk to me. Hoping he will finally talk about getting back together. How should I approach it?

    1. admin

      June 25, 2013 at 3:44 am

      Hi Brittany,

      That is an interesting situation. He says he is in a relationship because he misses you, he’s just not in a relationship WITH YOU. Well, lets take words out of the equation here for a second. What do his actions say? Yes, he claims that he wants you back but do his actions say so?

      Since he won’t leave the girl for you, you could do one of two things.

      1. Do everything on this page: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back/
      2. Slowly but surely work your way to an innocent hang out where you can both talk about your relationship and where you want it to go.

  13. broken heart

    June 24, 2013 at 3:34 pm

    Dear admin,

    Thank you very much for your kindness in putting effort in helping us with our broken heart. I hope you would take some of your precious time to help me with my situation. I am feeling very down:( . I broke up with my ex about half a year ago because I don’t feel that butterflies feeling when I was with him. He is a wonderful person and he deserves someone who loves him the same way. I always appreciate him and care for him and do love him. I just fear love so much that my guard is always up, that I can’t fall in love. I figure I have to let him go if I truly love him. We were very happy together. He loved me very much and was willing to go out of his ways to make me happy. After the break up, we still keep in contact and hang out. I did not feel heart broken at all the last six months. I guess it was because I know he still loves me and care for me a lot. That he is always by my side. He was even visited me at my apartment about a month and half ago. I find out his fb status about his new girl friend two weeks ago. I did not know it could hit me that hard. I called him and ask and confess how heart broken I am. He said he has not had sex with her yet. They were just starting dating. He cried and said why did we have to break up before, that he still loves me and the reason the he moved on because I am keep telling him too. And even though he wants to get to me now, he can’t just drop his new gf and hurt her feeling. I thought he cant break up because of his pity over her. But about a week ago we met again, and I asked him if he likes her, he says yes, he said she has some characteristics of me, that she is very caring and easy going. He tries to find me in her. He told me he wants to see how it works out and time can only tell if we ever back together. I got offended, how could he choose someone he like over the love of his life. Then I tried to analyse it, I might not be the love of his live any more, although he said he still loves me, his loves for me isn’t strong enough to have him choose me anymore. I cried too. I told him that I am dating someone who is a lot older than me so that he can forget me easier. He told me that it is my choice but don’t do it because of wanting him to forget me. He warns me to be careful and I told him that the guy loves me very much and would not hurt me. We spend two nights dining out before this last meeting. He displays all of this signs when he was with me https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-know-if-your-ex-boyfriend-still-loves-you/. I went home and texted him that I still love him, but if he choose her and really try to move on and forget me because my pride won’t allow me to take him back even if he wants to later on. I feel like that text closed all doors between him and me. Did I make a big mistake? My pride does feel that way though. He choose her over me who he claims to love. But I miss him so much and loves him so much. Is it too late now? Should I contact him and tell him that I am not dating this man anymore that I will take him back one day if his relationship doesn’t work out? and then start the 30 NC rule? I am usually very smart with my mind and control my emotion well. But I am so blind now dear. I don’t know what right to do and to say anymore. Does he have feeling for her too? I think I’m in love. Something that I thought I couldn’t never feel again. Unfortunately, the moment I get in touch with love again is the moment I lost it. Please help. Any advice would help. I don’t want to feel like a back up. It hurts my pride. But I don’t want to lose him.

    1. admin

      June 25, 2013 at 3:38 am

      Interesting situation indeed.

      First off, yes you did make a mistake by basically giving him an ultimatum saying if you choose her completely forget about me. Now, let me ask you if you were in his position and an ex texted you that would you be thrilled?

      I think yes, you should try the 30 day no contact rule. However, I think the thing that would really work for you are to send some texts out that make him look at you like you were his girlfriend again. Sometimes guys just say things to string girls along so they can have options.

      If you can send some of the texts here: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/using-text-messages-to-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back/ to see how he responds you can get an idea if he really means what he says if he says “he still loves you.” The fact of the matter is, that this new girl might be threatened by you and cause some friction. Be very careful.

    2. broken heart

      June 25, 2013 at 2:21 pm

      Chris,thank you for the response. How do I try the 30 day NC rule and at the same time sending some text out that make him look at me like his girlfriend? So do I send the text now or after the 30 days or during the 30 days? Why does the new girl be threatened by me and what cause some friction mean? Be careful about what Chris? We met up yesterday and as I sat by him at the park. He hugs me and kiss my cheek saying that he feels sorry for himself and for me. That he has to lose someone who change the world of him (helping him see the world in a more positive light, becoming a more confident person….) I am sorry that I am so slow. But would you please be more specific? I am very confuse in what next to do! 🙁

    3. admin

      June 25, 2013 at 5:24 pm

      Send him the texts after the no contact period.

      I just meant that you have to be careful to not make the new girlfriend too angry.

      I wish I could give you more details but I am in a huge rush today.

    4. broken heart

      June 29, 2013 at 3:06 pm

      Chris, if he calls me of texts me something like this during the 30 days no cn, ” How are you doing? or How is everything for you?” DO I reply with a short message like ” I am doing fine thank you.” ? or do I just ignore the message? Would that be rude?

    5. admin

      June 30, 2013 at 9:49 pm

      Sorry for the late response, I took yesterday off.

      Let me see, I would say NOT to contact him. However, if you know him really well enough to know he will take offense to you not saying anything then it is probably a good idea to send a message like the one you gave an example of.

  14. Pearl

    June 24, 2013 at 2:58 pm

    Hey there, my situation is;

    My ex boyfriend and I broke up in 2010, we were together for almost 2 years. The next day I went on holiday with the girls. There I met a guy. I wasn’t interested in him however we got talking and then realised he was a cool guy so we exchanged numbers. When I got back my ex boyfriend wanted to get back with me and see if we can make it work. However I was in a pickle as there were two guys wanting to be with me. Me and my ex met up and it was emotional because we wanted to be together however I had this new guy on the scene. My heart was telling me get back with the ex and my head was telling me the new guy. So I chose the new guy and left the ex. It was a rebound thing. I always thought about my ex as i still loved him. The new guy and i lasted for almost 2 years. A month later I got in touch with my ex and we met up. We were talking about the past and it was lovely. I told him how i felt about him and that i still loved him. He told me he had a girlfriend but he said he still loved me. It did hurt. And then he got in touch and said we can’t talk as his girlfriend found it uncomfortable and I agreed because I respected it. And then he got in touch in a month and started making comment about him remincsing the times we had and complimenting how I looked. I must admit it felt good. I could tell he wants me but chose her. So i messaged him and said im flattered by the compliments however i dont appreciate you contacting me when you are in a relationship as its not fair on me or your girlfriend. Then he replied applogising. And then two months later he wished me a happy birthday and i replied with a simple thanks. I would love for us to get back together but I don’t know what to do. I hope you can advise me. Thank you.

    1. admin

      June 25, 2013 at 3:30 am

      Pearl,

      (love the name by the way)

      I literally just wrote about this particular situation (getting an ex back after a year apart) Today. Read it here: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-guide-to-getting-him-back-after-a-year-or-more-apart/

    2. Pearl

      June 26, 2013 at 2:17 pm

      Thank you.

      I have read the page you sent the link to great advice. However my ex boyfriend currently has a girlfriend. So I’m not quite sure what to do.

    3. admin

      June 27, 2013 at 12:42 am

      Go into No Contact. After 30 days gauge the situation and decide if you want to try contacting your ex.

      Sorry for short response but I am in a hurry today.

      I did put a case study up at the beginning of this page you might want to check it out.

  15. Tracey

    June 24, 2013 at 5:45 am

    Hi,
    I have already reached a month of NC on my part. Since I work with my ex, It is actually LC because he pretty much tries to talk to me every day. I continue to keep the convos short and always leave afterward. Since I’ve recently found out he’s seeing a new girl from out of town, ( a girl he met the same weekend of the week he hung it up with me) I’ve been acting like it doesn’t affect me whatsoever. I have confidence that its a rebound and found your article on rebound relationships to be reassuring as well. My question is, how long should I continue NC, and do I wait and let him contact me? Especially now that he is into a new “relationship”, I want to give him space. Should I just have faith that he will eventually contact me?

    1. admin

      June 25, 2013 at 3:12 am

      Hi Tracey,

      First off, congrats on making it through the full month of NC that is a feat in and of itself. By now, I think you have waited enough time to decide yourself if you should keep going with the NC or trying contacting him. My advice is to trust your gut. If your gut is telling you to wait more then do it, however, if you think it is time to contact him via a text message then do that.

  16. brenda

    June 23, 2013 at 9:20 pm

    Hi I had a question does dis work after my boyfriend of 7 years broke up wit me we have a son together out of nowhere he brakes up wit me says we argue a lot than not even two weeks I find out he has a new girlfriend which is his homeboys ex wife n also da girl two of his homeboys sleept with I’m so hurt n confused I love him a lot want him back but I don’t know wat to do can ya help me plz :'(

    1. admin

      June 23, 2013 at 11:06 pm

      Yes, this page is tailor made for individuals in your situation.

  17. Rebecca

    June 23, 2013 at 3:55 pm

    I broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half who is currently back home for the summer overseas. I was getting the feeling he didn’t care much about what I had to say, but it turns out that he was just stressed out because of work. I didn’t actually have the intention to end it, I just wanted a reaction because it felt like I wasn’t getting through to him. We didn’t talk for two days then I messaged him asking how he was and he blew up on me and was saying hurtful things. I’ve never seen that side to him. I apologized to him right after I broke up with him and when I messaged him two days later. I told him the truth that I didn’t want to break up, but he said he cant trust what im saying and we will have to talk about it when we return. He told me to move on and other mean things. I know I shouldn’t have broken up with him and it was very immature, but I still feel like it could have been easily overcame but he just took it to heart. We were very, very close- were best friends. We were talking about marriage and kids after college and he wanted to sty over here for me. I haven’t spoke to him in three weeks and neither of us have tried to contact one another. For his bday another girl wrote something like “happy birthday handsome” it made me upset but i thought nothing of it. A couple of days ago he asked me if i left him for another guy and i said no, did you not want to get back with me cause you were talking to another girl and he said no i was working all sumer to pay for things when we get back, remember? and all i said back was “yeah” he then continued to inform me on how he got in a fight and his jaw hurts etc. we talked for a little and then that was it. this morning he tweeted the same girl who wrote happy bday on his wall and it seems to me like they are now talking. she lives back at school and im worried he has moved on already and when he goes back to school he will be with her for a month before i even get back so feelings might develop with them. I really want him back but i dont want to seem desperate. Do you think there is a chance for reconciliation when we both return to school in 6 weeks? I’m very confused because why would he try talking to me if hes talking to this girl? I’d really appreciate any advice. thank you

    1. admin

      June 23, 2013 at 11:17 pm

      Hi Rebecca,

      First off, immediately after a breakup emotions are through the roof on both sides. Those hurtful things he said, I don’t think he means them to you deep in his heart. Don’t get me wrong. He is probably extremely mad and curses your name but that isn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad thing. It means he has feelings for you and wishes he hadn’t been hurt.

      Definitely try out the no contact period. Just wait one month before you try texting him again. I know it seems really hard but what else can you do? If you come begging back I highly doubt he will come back. However, if you wait some time and let the emotions settle down things can slowly turn in your favor.

      As for the new girl, IF (and that is a big IF) he starts dating her it won’t be the end of the world. It is a rebound and rebounds don’t last forever. The real question for you is whether or not you think you want him back. Take out a piece of paper and list all his negative qualities and then do the same for his positive qualities. Try to look at your situation from a logical viewpoint.

  18. Abigail

    June 23, 2013 at 2:50 am

    I told my boyfriend I wanted a break about a year and three months ago after we had dated for a year and a half because he kept talking about marriage and I was just overwhelmed. He misunderstood and thought I meant a forever break up and our relationship was sabotaged by this horrible guy who later abused me. He started dating this girl who is unattractive and has very few redeeming qualities and they have been dating for a year but I love him so much and I just want him back. I don’t understand how he can be happier with this rebound girl than with me and I don’t think he even wants to talk to me. I don’t know what else I can do to get him back and I just want to explain to him the circumstances that surrounded our breakup because he thinks I cheated on him and didn’t love him anymore. I know he loved me, and my family still talks about him all the time and I just haven’t been happy since him. Do you have any advice on what I can do?

    1. admin

      June 23, 2013 at 2:58 am

      Hi Abigail,

      Thanks for commenting. Of course, I have advice for you!

      I have to say it is rare for a girl to feel overwhelmed about marriage. I usually hear about this from guys. Sounds a lot like you had some communication issues with your ex. He misunderstood about the initial “break” and thought it meant forever. Though I will say, rejection of any kind is really hard for men. We like to feel wanted and admired and when a girl wants a break we automatically assume that, that means she doesn’t want us anymore.

      How long has it been since you last spoken to him? Does he know that you DIDN’T cheat on him?

  19. Melanie

    June 22, 2013 at 7:26 am

    Thank you so much for your site, it’s definitely very detailed and helpful.
    Im worried about the no contact rule because I feel like my exs feeling would fade by that time.
    We broke up for 3 weeks now and just a few days after we broke up… he has been posting many flirty things on this girl’s fb wall ( he should be fully aware that I could see it since we are mutual friends).
    And it’s so hurtful because it’s so inconsiderate….and now it seems like they are having a thing now. How can he move on that quickly? He said he truly cared about me….if he did..why would he post that stuff when he knows I could see it. He sent me pics of his workout result or him at a party. Like wow…it’s as if our relationship meant nothing?

    When we were dating, ppl told me that they have never seen him so happy and he told me that I made him one of the happiest guys.
    I just don’t understand.

    Im worried about the one month no contact….because I feel like his feelings are quick. Like the first time he asked me out was two weeks when we just met…and that’s why I feel like his feelings can be quick because he does tend to put ‘all his chips into on bucket’….that is why he wanted to break up with me because I do admit, I took him for granted a bit because he loved me much more than I did, however, my feelings gradually developed for him. He told me he loved me in a month and it took me 3 months to say it.

    So I don’t know if no contact would help…because I feel like his feelings would be gone by then

    1. admin

      June 23, 2013 at 2:41 am

      Well, there are risks of doing the no contact rule AND there are risks of not doing it.

      Risks Of It- him losing interested, etc, etc

      Risks Of Not Doing It- Being viewed as needy or obssesive. Basically, everything that men DONT want from a woman.

      So, I suppose you have to find a good balance. Maybe for you, you could limit the no contact to only 15 days? I usually don’t recommend that but if you honestly feel your boyfriend will lose feelings that quickly you can do a miniture NC rule to see what results you get.

  20. lily

    June 22, 2013 at 2:30 am

    okay so pretty much we had a small breakup and we got back together but he confessed during the breakup (2days)he developed feelings for another girl. he tried, i tried we argued back and forth on whether to stay together or not. We knew it would end, and eventually a few days later we broke up and he start talking to the other chick. I want to know if during the arguing and stuff, trying to make it work if thats what pushed him away. we were inseparable and in love before this girl entered the picture

    1. admin

      June 22, 2013 at 4:34 am

      Usually with breakups like this a lot of different factors choose a guy to leave. The new girl, the arguing, a certain way you were acting, a certain way he was feeling. I think everything contributed. He could be infatuated with the girl. If you want him back I can give you some advice but the key thing I want to stress is that you really have to believe your relationship is worth getting back for anything to work. Check out this page I think it could be helpful: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/legitimate-reasons-you-should-get-back-together-with-your-ex-boyfriend/

    2. lily

      June 22, 2013 at 6:38 pm

      thank you. ive read it and we were happy most of the time with a little fight once a month. we were always together doing something fun, going out to eat, with family but we were happy. it seemed that when we tried to get back after the little break up, he would change after he would hang out with his friends. could they also be the reason maybe they want him single again? im looking at it from different views. maybe during that break up he missed all the attention from different girls. im just really confused and i dont know what to do.hes a really sweet guy what i dont want is for the girl to start liking him to, but i guess theres nothing i can do about that one

    3. admin

      June 23, 2013 at 2:36 am

      I always say to not worry about factors that you can’t control. Just focus on the thing that you can control!

    4. lily

      June 22, 2013 at 2:40 am

      also him and this girl “hooked up” the first night. could it be infatuation?

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