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3,807 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

  1. Avatar

    T

    July 12, 2013 at 5:16 am

    What if you are doing no contact and it’s your birthday? Should you ignore them even if they say happy birthday or will that just be taken as rude?

    1. admin

      admin

      July 12, 2013 at 7:17 pm

      Yup ignore them even then!

      On my birthday I don’t respond to certain people who post on my Facebook wall and I don’t think its very rude.

  2. Avatar

    Mina

    July 11, 2013 at 9:06 pm

    My ex and we dated for the last 5 months, everything was running nicely until recently when he started preparing to friend wedding. Later on I found out he was exchanging lots of messages with his ex and he was going to his ex or so called ex sisters’ wedding.
    Before going to the wedding I asked him to choose and he asked me not to oblige him to choose. When he came back he was being sarcastic with all I was saying so I understood that it was over.
    In my anger I asked a friend to write and e-mail to his “ex” letting her know that he was cheating on her while going out with me. I do not know if I did an unrecoverable damage to my chances to get him back. Do you think I still have a chance to get him back? And how can I do that?

    1. admin

      admin

      July 12, 2013 at 2:29 am

      Im going to be honest, what you did was bad…. REALLY BAD.

      I think your chances of getting him back dropped a lot and you are going to have to go on a 60 day no contact rule if you have any chance of getting him back.

  3. Avatar

    Linda

    July 11, 2013 at 5:40 am

    My ex left me for the ex before me that cheated on him that’s why he started to see me. He left me because my old roommate texted this guy that I work with that I wanted to sleep with him from my phone and my ex read it so he thinks I cheated on I’m. Is there a chance for me to get him back.

    1. admin

      admin

      July 12, 2013 at 2:09 am

      First off, I think the probability of the new ex and him being a rebound relationship is very high.

      I do think you have a chance but make sure you don’t come off as desperate by blowing up his phone with texts. Play it cool and try out the No Contact Rule.

  4. Avatar

    rebecca

    July 10, 2013 at 5:44 am

    im 20yrs old and im pregnant and my boyfriend has left me for another girl and it makes me sad and i stress all the time and want him back in my life what to do?

    1. admin

      admin

      July 11, 2013 at 1:05 am

      Does he know that you are pregnant?

  5. Avatar

    mell

    July 9, 2013 at 2:52 pm

    I was with the guy for what would have been 4yrs 18 July 2013. we have had a rocky relationship the last 8 months. my parents moved into my house that I am buying and were supposed to pay rent and they arent. i am to soft to just kick them out on the streets. I told them to get out and they still havent. MY ex said that we are fine together that its the stress from lack of dicipline of my 6yr old, stress from my parents, the sleeping on one side of the bed ( i just wanted him to show me that he still wanted me so i would lay on one side of the bed hoping he would come to me to cuddle and he didnt), he also said our relationship wasnt going anywhere but he new i wanted to wait til we had been together 5 years before i would marry him. he would tell my daughter he loved her but in a funny low tone. he would get upset about tiny things and stress me out so i felt like i was walking on eggshells sometimes. i tried so hard to keep him happy. i love him so much though that i am willing to forgive everything.
    while i was out of town he texted me and said we needed to talk and i had this gut feeling he was going to break up with me so i said ” you arent goign to break up with me are you?” and he paused and said yes. i knew i shouldnt have asked but it was a feeling i had. i spent the next two weeks thinking about it. trying to find a way to get him to talk to me and come back, but he would just get mad and say no. i got into his facebook account while i was gone and the day after he broke up with me his “friend” mandi posted a pic thjat said something about sex and she wrote need to add this to your workout regmine and i got really upset. i didnt say anything to him. when i got him on the 16th of june i tried to sit and talk but he wasnt willing to even try to work things out. he just kept saying no. so i started to drink and ended up blacking out. i was later told that i did some pretty aweful things to him. a few days went by and he was still in some hurry to get me out so i waited for him to go to work and moved everything that was mine. he got mad blew up and wont talk to me. i still have a truck that we have to figure out what to do with. he is seeing this mandi lady, but i still want him back. what is your advice? do i try or do i give up?

    1. admin

      admin

      July 10, 2013 at 2:29 am

      I say, if you are willing to,

      give it your best shot but if it doesn’t work out, just know that there is someone out there for you. That sounds so cliche.

      I think your problem is that you did some things that hurt your chances. He needs time to calm down a little bit and all you can kind of do is wait until his relationship ends which is probably a rebound.

  6. Avatar

    Jay

    July 8, 2013 at 8:45 pm

    I have a 3 month old with my ex-boyfriend. When we were dating, I moved in with him for a week & a half and the result was our son. We had only been dating for 2 months when I got pregnant & he was actually paying on an engagement ring for me already (before we found out the news). We broke up when I was about 6 months pregnant because we were arguing about him rarely seeing me & instead hanging out with his friends when he got off work. When we were still broken up he took me out on a date, but also told me he won’t ever love me again. After our son was born we got back together cuz he realized he did love me. However, my parents decided we couldn’t see each other alone until I got birth control. That ticked him off. Then my parents convinced me to start child support proceedings. That ticked him off majorly even tho I warned him beforehand. We broke up again. We met the next day at Burger King & he said he still loved me. We continued texting for maybe 2-3 weeks. One day I was texting him about missing him because he worked so much & he answered back ‘well that’s what happens when you’re with someone who works’. So instantly I assume he means we’re dating. The next day I learn the opposite cuz he’s dating another girl. My friend saw her pic on his phone background screen the same night he told me I was with him. He even said ‘I haven’t told Jay yet’. So I call him & ask. He doesn’t admit it & says he’s only thinking about dating her. I eventually hang up crying before I say something I’m going to regret. I contact the girl who says they are dating & have been for about a week. Even though for that entire week he had been calling me baby girl & saying ‘I love you’ and stuff like that. So a couple days later he tells me he doesn’t love me to my face (twice. The first time was hesitantly & the second sounded forced). Then 2 weeks later I find out he’s engaged to this girl who he has been dating for less than a month. Now it’s been a month & a half for them (both engagement & dating) & I’m still miserable. This girl has a reputation for getting guys into bed then dumping them. She’s been engaged before & they broke up after she cheated on him. She’s cheated on multiple guys. I’m freaking out cuz I feel like she’s just going to hurt him & I can’t stop it. I hate seeing him hurting. I still love him & yeah, I do want him back even though he’s been a jerk to me… I found out recently he still has all our old pictures in a picture album because he doesn’t want them damaged but he did return the engagement ring to the store (he never finished paying on it). He got upset when I returned some of his things to him & wants to give them back to me. And he’s not the type of guy who’d keep old photos… At least he never used to keep them…
    So obviously the no contact rule won’t work for me cuz of the baby. He likes to tease me, but he is the type to tease all girls, even his ex girlfriends. And he does ask his mom about me since his mom & I Facebook message each other like crazy. One of my friends is dating his roommate & was there & saw him reading over her shoulder when we were messaging back & forth. Maybe it’s just me but it sounds like he still loves me but doesn’t like my parents rules. His mom even said he still loves me in a way but my parents made him unhappy so he left… I’m just at a loss of what to do… I still love him but I don’t know about him. I feel like he does & some facts support that but others don’t…

    1. Avatar

      Jay

      July 8, 2013 at 9:04 pm

      Oh. She’s also super controlling & I found out she just had a breakup 2. But he says he’s never been happier & people are saying he does act super happy… Is it possible they’re using each other for a rebound? They’re clinging to each other like crazy & she controls everything he does & if he does something she doesn’t like then she complains about it openly on Facebook & even tags him in the post.

    2. admin

      admin

      July 9, 2013 at 3:05 am

      Well, you can do a modified version of no contact. Where you limit your responses to him and try not to talk to him unless absolutely necessary.

      I think him and that girl could very well be a rebound.

      I am just a casual observer but any time I date a girl and her parents make rules I don’t like it. I want a relationship to be between me and another person, not the other person and her parents. Of course, I think you are entitled to child support if you aren’t together. Nevertheless, I can see what he may be feeling.

    3. Avatar

      Jay

      July 9, 2013 at 9:58 am

      Yeah, I know how he is feeling to & I wish I could stop those bad feelings. I do wish my parents would stay out of our relationship. They like to meddle & plus they don’t particularly like his parents. I feel like they’re making us (& our relationship &, in the long run, our son) unhappy because of his parents. It’s kinda like a modern day Romeo & Juliet. Parents don’t like each other so the kids don’t have much of a chance unless they go against their parents’ wishes. The only difference is his parents act like they absolutely adore me. Now I don’t know if its me they adore or if they’re just being nice cuz I’m the mother of their grandson & they know they’ll get to see him before the child support hearing if they’re nice to me.
      Also, yeah I do kinda think all those things are good signs for me. All our friends (who I’ve talked to about it, which they’re all female, the guys are very good at changing the subject on me) who know both my ex & the girl, say its going to totally be over in another month & he’s going to take a week or so to recover & then come crawling back to me. Which I’ve already given him a “challenge”: he’s the type of guy who hates to be single so I told him if they break up 1) he’s gotta work for me & 2) he has to be single for at least 6 months (which gives me time to request a STD test from him- which’ll tick him off but if he won’t do it then I’ll be like ‘no, not dating you until you have an STD test cuz we don’t know if she had anything.’ We come from a county that has free anonymous STD tests for young adults & teens every month at the local hospital). I’m STD free & would like to remain that way.
      Anyway, I’m currently trying to find a way to convince him I don’t care what my parents think (he seems to think they control me or something) and that I want to date him cuz I love him & I don’t care what my parents think. Which is true. I’ve stopped caring what my parents think cuz they’ve driven away everybody else & I’m angry that they’ve driven away him. I know they’re trying to be helpful & loving but… it’s too much running my life & not being helpful so much. I’ve tried just telling him that but he doesn’t believe me (although my opinion is he acts like he wants to but that might just be me being hopeful) so I know I need to go to actions to show it. Any ideas?
      Also, yesterday I texted him about our son’s doctor’s appointment today & he texted back & then even asked how I was but immediately after I had to keep the convo going. It’s like he makes a little effort then steps back to see what I’m going to do & if I’m going to make the effort 2 (at least that’s what I feel like he’s doing). He’s always done this: make a little effort then decides to let me take over (& me being an idiot, I do & later I’m like ‘idiot! Why’d u do that?’). How do I get him to make more of an effort in our relationship? Both now & later when we’re (hopefully) back together.
      Sorry this is so long but I’m long winded & a chatterbox. Sorry.

    4. admin

      admin

      July 10, 2013 at 2:19 am

      I have a lot of comments and emails to go through today so I am just going to answer your last question.

      How do I get him to make more of an effort?

      For one, once he makes a little effort, don’t take over like he wants you to which you said in your comment. Also, you need to kind of play a game of cat and mouse with him. Dangle the mouse in front of him but never let him have it. This way you can take control and he will keep chasing (which is the way it’s supposed to be.)

    5. Avatar

      Jay

      July 9, 2013 at 2:14 pm

      Also, is it a good or bad thing that we’ll argue via texting for an hour but see each other like less than an hour later (like at my son’s healthy families appointment) and he’ll act perfectly normal & even flirt with me. Keep in mind he is an accidental flirt sometimes… He won’t even realize he’s flirting until someone points it out. Cuz at the last appointment he grabbed my hand for a second, when I was holding a toy for our son, then suddenly shoved my hand back at me. He didn’t even need to randomly grab for the toy he just did… And it was a big enough toy that his hand didn’t even have to touch mine but he put his hand on top of mine & then suddenly forced it back at me &, if my memory serves me correctly, looked away quickly.

    6. admin

      admin

      July 10, 2013 at 2:21 am

      Try not to get into any arguments via texting. If you sense that he is getting angry just step away and not respond until he cools off.

      I think it is a good thing that he is an accidental flirt towards you but don’t get overly excited by it.

    7. Avatar

      Jay

      July 9, 2013 at 2:24 am

      I’m sorry that I keep commenting but 2 other things that might be important came to mind:
      He did give his virginity to me. I don’t know if that is a behavior changer but it could be. Since he was in a relationship with a girl before me for 2 years & he didn’t have sex with her even tho she did apparently try to convince him into it. Reason why they broke up.
      Also, when we were broken up the first time I decided to mend a relationship with another ex so that ex & I could be friends again & he got insanely jealous. He sent me a Facebook message that basically said something like ‘I heard you were hanging out with Ty & just to let you know: I don’t care’. Which him doing that completely proved the opposite. He was also super protective (when we were broken up & I was still pregnant) cuz he found out another dude was harassing me & he told me to tell that *beep* to stay away from me or else.
      Promise I’ll stop commenting now. I just thought of those things & wanted to add them real quick.

    8. admin

      admin

      July 9, 2013 at 4:47 am

      All those things are really good signs for you and I think you know that!

  7. Avatar

    LELE

    July 8, 2013 at 12:58 pm

    Me and my ex have been dating for 7 months we lived together for 4. Now financially he has more dominant and loving caring supportive nurturing calm. I have been. Irk what happen but I helped him with getting his new job and been by his side since he has been in doubt. His kids and family loves me a lot. He said I don’t understand sometimes and didn’t care about how he felt. When it came to the little things. I love him deeply.!we get along. Great and have wonderful chemistry. I’m 21 and he is 36. We both have the same signs and likes and all. I know its my fault. But I want him back. He was like I love you I want you I wanna. Be with you. But we are not going to be together. I think he just wants me on my feet financially and to gain some years of experience. He doesn’t have a girlfriend that I know of. But hey… before he does get one I wanna try and get on my shit and get my man back.

    1. admin

      admin

      July 9, 2013 at 2:22 am

      Hahaha… well already the thing that stuck out to me was the age difference. You are 21 and he is 36. Now, I am all for it. I have no problem with the age difference like most people will. However, I can’t deny that at 36 years old your priorities are going to be very different than a 21 year old. He may be looking for something more mature.

      Anyways, try the no contact rule for 30 days and then reach out to him.

      Why did you two break up?

  8. Avatar

    angel

    July 7, 2013 at 11:07 pm

    I broke up with my boyfriend June 3rd. it would have been 2 days till we have been together for a month, but my friend told me he texted her saying that he loved her and wanted to be with her instead of me and she even waited 3 days before telling me, and my friend went on our first date. she was supposed to go with her boyfriend but he stood her up. anyway, when I found out that he texted her that I was so angry that I dumped him. but now I think about all the fun times we had together like on our first date we held hands, and when we would meet at the park I would give him hugs, and if he wasn’t on vacation on our one month anniversary I would have kissed him. but after he dated me he dated a girl from Fargo, then she broke up with him after 1 day, and now he is dating one of my good friends (not the one that went on our first date.) and I want him back what do I do?????????????????

    1. admin

      admin

      July 8, 2013 at 2:24 am

      Honestly, I think the problem is that he wanted your friend and not you.

      You need to find a way to up your value in his eyes. You barely dated a month so it’s almost like you can start over from scratch.

  9. Avatar

    Beccy

    July 7, 2013 at 7:44 am

    Hi, My ex fiance and I were together 3 and 1/2 years, with some minor ‘stupid’ breakups, always over a stupid fight or misunderstanding we put it down to our immaturity. Almost 3 months ago we had a mutual breakup as we both felt things were not working out (now I see the reasons were trivial and I know we can be happy again). About a week after breaking up we were helping each other find somewhere else to live and helped each other sort out our belongings etc, throughout this time we became very close once more and decided we would still see each other but still live apart to have some space to appreciate each other again, we were so in love we had found our spark and our passion for each other it was amazing! He gazed into my eyes like he always did and I felt more love for him than I ever have! we both thought that it was what we needed to realise how much we meant to each other. Though after a week of living apart and having a bit of space-we still were in contact via txt and phone daily, everything seemed fine. Though after the first week, he came over to talk and had decided that he just wanted to be friends, that he wanted to be single for awhile and just hang out with his mates, he told me not to worry about him getting with someone new as he was not interested at all, he just wanted to relax, he assured me we would still see each other and talk and take our puppy for walks together. After about a week I had called him saying it was a mistake and that I loved him and wanted to get back together, he got angry and defensive and wouldn’t listen to me, just kept shutting me down. A week after this he had deleted all our facebook photos, unfriended and blocked me and had started a new relationship with an older women he had just met through friends. It all happened so fast, I was shattered, I tried playing the I hope she makes you happy ‘card’, though it didn’t last long as before I knew it I was a blabbering mess. Another week after he started dating her, he moved away near his parents house (as he wasn’t doing well with money as I was the main bread winner, his parents helped him with money and rented him a unit), he quit his job and now lives in a small town, where she recently gained work too. I have tried the no contact rule, though felt that the anger and resentment was eating me alive and asked if we could let it go and be civil adults now, he had replied saying there is no more anger and asked me if it was ok if we catch up and talk over the phone but not for a little while, I agreed and said just let me know when you want to talk. I was so happy with this and did not contact him until a week later as our dog had an accident and I felt I had to text him to tell him, he replied with a cruel response saying we have nothing to do with each other any more and the dog is now my responsibility though he was worried about him. I was so confused as a week before things seemed ok, I know I just wrote so much I felt I needed to include these details, I just am so head over heals in love with him, I am so lost without him and I have no idea how to get him back, and why he changes his attitude towards me every couple of weeks!? And now that he lives about 7 hours drive away, it just makes things so much harder.. Any help I would be eternally grateful!! HELLLP!!! I need to show him I have improved myself and how much I love him and still want to marry him, but I do not know how I am meant to do this!?

    1. admin

      admin

      July 7, 2013 at 5:54 pm

      Really the only thing you can do right now is let some time go by. Let the dust settle a little bit more and then try contacting him. BUT don’t ask for a dinner date or coffee. You need to take baby steps. Work your way slowly up to that point.

      You went for too much too soon.

    2. Avatar

      Beccy

      July 7, 2013 at 11:25 pm

      Thank you for the advice! That is what I am trying to do now, it was hard as he maintained he wanted to be friends, then ignored me, then would call me, etc etc.He has been so inconsistent throughout the whole process which has been so confusing! I have not acted like I want him back for almost two months now, only talking about our dog, or belongings, as he still has a lot of my things and I still have a lot of his things, so I guess instead if trying to sort that out, I should just leave it for now do you think? Based on the info I wrote in my first post, what do you think is he likely outcome in your opinion based on your experiences? I just feel his actions are speaking louder than words, I know him very well, he is very stubborn and hot headed. But for one week to be nice and say we will catch up then the next week saying the opposite (when there had been no contact in between) seems like he still is not sure..what do you think? Also Should I wait till he contacts me, or wait a few weeks and if he hasn’t contacted me should I contact him?

      Thank youu!! 🙂

    3. admin

      admin

      July 8, 2013 at 2:31 am

      Tell you what, just email me so I can give you more personalized advice.

    4. Avatar

      Karena

      July 8, 2013 at 7:14 pm

      I’m in exactly the same situation as this was and following the same no contact rule, what was the outcome!?!?

    5. admin

      admin

      July 9, 2013 at 2:34 am

      I am a little confused. You were in the same situation as what was?

  10. Avatar

    Tayla

    July 3, 2013 at 8:06 pm

    I was dating this guy for 15 months. he was my first boyfriend and my first everything…. we we’re really inlove with eachother and everyone loved seeing us together.
    we used to fight alot,, about him having sex with his ex before we dated. and that really hurt me because it wasnt special for him like it was for me.. but anyway.. we had a break for a month before the ‘real’breakup happened and during that time i was changing while he was getting over me.. i never knew that though.
    he broke up with me over sms. i saw him a week later at a bar with his friends and i asked to talk… yep.. i ended up begging like an idiot. and he basically said he still loves me but he cant get back with me. its been 7 months and im still hurt badly from this. During these past few months ive been messaging him , begging him and all that. yes i know it is exactly the wrong this to do when i want him back. and all he does is swear at me and asks for me to leave him alone. he recently asked this one girl out that his known for 3 years and he isnt very open about her like he was with me, he always compares our relationship to what he has with her now. ive been going on websites and ive tried to find out what this guy is really about, and i clearly have no idea what he wants. please can someone tell me if i even still have another chance with him ..

    1. admin

      admin

      July 4, 2013 at 4:20 am

      Hi Tayla,

      First off, let me reiterate that this method, while it can be wildly effective is not guaranteed to get him back. Ok, I think your problem is that he is telling you that he doesn’t want to hear from you yet you keeping texting him and bothering him. Pretty soon he will put you in the crazy ex girlfriend category and once you are in that category it is really hard to get him back. I advise you to lay off and focus on you for a while. It is ok to let him be for a while and let his new relationship work it’s course.

      Once enough time has passed then I would suggest that you try to repair any damage you may have caused.

  11. Avatar

    Veera

    July 3, 2013 at 4:37 pm

    okey, I just found out that my ex`s new girlfriend is on rebound also. Could this be bad or good news? they both might be clingy. and thats why so madly in love.

    she broke up just before we did. I don´t know if they had anything going on before we broke up. I kinda doubt that they might not have, but who knows. they had work party on saturday and we broke up on tuesday. and also third person from they work place broke up with girlfriend same time as those two.

    1. admin

      admin

      July 4, 2013 at 4:06 am

      My gut tells me…. GOOD NEWS! They could both be using eachother for rebound purposes. Don’t hold me to it though. I am just speculating but that is my two cents.

    2. Avatar

      Veera

      July 4, 2013 at 4:18 am

      I also heard that they are living together now, cos she lost her appartment, and they have met each others parents. She was looking a new place, but i don´t know is she anymore.

  12. Avatar

    Martha

    July 3, 2013 at 3:44 am

    My ex and I were each others first loves I was 14 he was 15. We dated up until my senior year of Highschool then he got with another girl 2 months after and they dated for about 7-9 months I believe. When they broke up he would start to come around my family more and more. Him and my brother are good friends so we all started hanging out again. We had casual sex on and off for a few months and one day I made out with another guy at a party and he flipped. Then the next day said he wanted me back and we began to talk. We got back together in February and recently broke up in June a week after our break up he had another girlfriend who he says he never felt a connection like he does with her. He swears he didn’t cheat and wasn’t talking to her that they met that week and hit it off. I told him how I felt and said a few bad things but I also told him he deserves to be happy. I don’t want to end badly because he still hangs out with my brother and comes to my house to hang with him. He says he loves his new girlfriend & he’s so happy. I love this guy but I feel every time I let him in it always ends badly. Idk if I should fight for him or just let him be happy with her if I obviously couldn’t fill those shoes. What should I do?

    1. admin

      admin

      July 4, 2013 at 4:11 am

      Hi Martha,

      Here is my advice.

      The biggest play you can make is to just give him time to let this new relationship run it’s course. In the meantime though, work on healing yourself and improving yourself. If you really want him badly you can try to get on talking terms with him and try to push his emotional hot buttons. Only do this after you have implemented the no contact rule though ok!

    2. Avatar

      Martha

      July 5, 2013 at 5:32 am

      Thanks for the advice. I was planning on doing this but what if he’s with my bother alot and I see him frequently? How can I have no contact if he’s around. For example he came with my family too our Fourth of July trip to the lake etc. when I figured he would be off with his girlfriend?

    3. admin

      admin

      July 6, 2013 at 4:39 am

      Well Martha,

      I say that you don’t want to be rude to him or anything if he is around a lot. Simply limit your conversations with him. Make them shorter than normal and be super pleasant and happy. Don’t engage him in talking about the relationship until YOU are ready to do so.

  13. Avatar

    Hanaa

    July 2, 2013 at 3:25 pm

    i need your help as i have a big problem in my life now
    i was in love with some one after a very painful break up with some one else with few months . i thought i love him and i finally found my sole mate but after we got engaged some thing happened to me very strange that my feeling suddenly changed and i wanted my ex one and i started comparing between the new and the old one. but my new fiancee was so much loving me and he tried his best to make me happy ..we spent together 2.5 years but each time we set to arrange for the weeding i feel bad and i couldn’t continue ..so we decided to breakup together ..after break up he was in contact with all the people around me to know my news and some times he talked to me directly and i was friendly and i missed him .. he kept doing this for about 9 months but 3 months ago he started to date another woman .. when i knew that i went mad and i felt that i need to back to him and i called him but he rejected me and he said that he is in a new relationship and he doesn’t want to be back to me .. i feel hurted now and i want him back .. i don’t know why he extremely suddenly changed .. he wanted me to get back to him all the time and he kept asking all the people if i want to come back to him or not .. and once i decided to get back to him he refused and rejected me.. do you think he can come back to me ?? i regret him soooo much and i want him badly ..what can i do to make him back to me or it is hopeless
    please excuse my english as i am from Morocco

    1. admin

      admin

      July 2, 2013 at 6:15 pm

      Hi Hanaa,

      I have to ask you if this is a case of “I see him with another girl and now I want him?” Think really hard and figure out if that is the only reason you want him back. If it is then trust me, he isn’t worth trying to get back because you really don’t have the feelings you think you do for him.

      However, if you really want him back I would say all you can do now is the NC rule. Work on yourself and wait for your moment.

    2. admin

      admin

      July 2, 2013 at 6:15 pm

      Also, try to reestablish a talking relationship with him after the NC RULE

    3. Avatar

      Hanaa

      July 3, 2013 at 12:42 am

      i feel that i love him and i wanted him before i know that he is in a relationship with another girl but i couldn’t tell him because of my proud ( notice that we are an eastern conservative society ) i am actually not sure that i will be able to reestablish a new talking relationship with him after the NC rule also because of my proud .. i made some mistakes that i called him crying trying to get him back and i sent him sms telling him i can’t continue in my life without him and i had a chock and i went to the hospital and he knew about that from a friend and i sent him a Facebook message telling him that i love him but i will withdraw my self from his life because i don’t want to spoil his life and i did i don’t speck to him or contact him from a month but he called a friend of mine 3 times during that month to ask about me indirectly ..each time he sees me in the street he call my friend and ask about me. he told my friend not to tell me that he called but she told me

    4. Avatar

      Hanaa

      July 8, 2013 at 3:36 pm

      Hi Chris
      I want first to thank you for this useful website. I read all the articles and I told all my friends about it as it is a need to most of the people
      I have some questions regarding to my case above.. My ex boy friend still in contact but very little with my relatives and friends till now while he has a new relationship and he make general comments on facebook for my relatives and he is talking by phone with a friend of mine and some times asking about me .. do you think it is a good sign ?
      Second: my birth day is in 4 days ..i expect that he may send me SMS while I am in the NCR for 60 days I spent 38 days and until my birth day it will be 42 days no contact so it is advisable if he send me a message to reply as a kind of being polite?
      Last : I am trying to show him that I am happy by updating my facebook status writing for example feeling great, going with friends and putting some pictures ..is it a good thing to do now or I have to wait after the NC ends ?
      I want to remind you that I’m the one who dumped him and that was a year a go and I regret it and when I wanted to come back to him I discovered that he is in another relationship and he dumped me so do you think another long NC time will be useful and there is still hope ?

    5. admin

      admin

      July 9, 2013 at 2:28 am

      Wow Hanaa, did you really tell your friends? That is amazing thank you!

      First- it is a good sign that he is asking about you via your relatives and friends. Especially since it has been a year since you last dated.

      Second- I think that you just say a simple “thanks” to his text. If he wishes you happy birthday via facebook then like his comment (but make sure you like everyone elses as well.)

      Last- You should absolutely be posting happy things on Facebook during NC.

    6. admin

      admin

      July 3, 2013 at 3:03 am

      Yup, definitely stay true to the no contact rule. With all that you just said it might be a good idea to extend it to 60 days so you can give him time to remember the good times with you and hopefully get out of his new relationsihp.

  14. Avatar

    Kate

    July 2, 2013 at 1:16 am

    Hi, I emailed you like you said. Just making sure if you received it or not..thanks

    1. admin

      admin

      July 2, 2013 at 3:21 am

      I did and I will respond shortly (I have been really busy.)

  15. Avatar

    Veera

    July 1, 2013 at 8:12 pm

    We broke up 4 month ago and we were together for 7 years. He dumped me. After 1 month he started seeing his workmate and i believe that they live together now. After break up there were very 2 nasty month and then one no contact month. He drunk called me once then. Then i ask f he was going to get his bike, he said to me, that he did not want any contact cos he was happy in his new relationship and it would not be fair for any one of us, i said that i.m ok that he is seeing someone and i believe that we could be frieds and help each other. We had friedly e-mails for a week ( i was more active part) and then i heard that he got terrible fight with his girl. I havent contact him sense. Now it has been three weeks from that. I want him back. And i dont know what to do. We have had our one month already and then some friendly talk. Do you think i can start contacting him now, no more 30 days (or 2 weeks), cos this is so hard. I have been thinking all the good stuff and i´m in love again. And it really hurts

    1. admin

      admin

      July 2, 2013 at 3:25 am

      Hi Veera!

      This is always a tricky situation. If he is fresh on the heels of a breakup you probably should wait around a week before you contact him. BUT you need to be smart about how you contact him. Here is a tactic that I have been testing out lately that has had a lot of success.

      You text him with something really interesting.
      You hook him in the conversation.
      Then, once you have him hooked you simply don’t respond.

      I know it seems like a bitch move but it is going to put you in control and he will be wondering what the heck happened. Again, that is something I have been testing out so if you want to try it go for it. If not, then no hard feelings.

    2. Avatar

      Veera

      July 2, 2013 at 3:55 am

      Thanks! I will try to wait a week. This is so hard cos i´m afraid that i will loose him for this new one for good and that he is living a life with him life that he couldn´t live with me. I have cancer and there was a doubt that it has come back. I was so depressed before break up that i didn´t see that this new girl has her eyes on my man. i just lied on a couch lifeless. now i have changed and i believe that i am same person he fell in love with, and i just want to show him that. i have been on dates, started some old hobbies again and feeling good 🙂 i know guys check me out on the streets but i only want him back in my life. i feel that i ruined very good relationship and i feel like i deserve to work hard to get it back.

    3. admin

      admin

      July 2, 2013 at 4:33 am

      You had cancer :(. I am sorry. Well, everyone on this site is behind you. You will always have a friend and confidant here!

    4. Avatar

      Veera

      July 2, 2013 at 6:17 am

      I know this sound wierd, but i think he tried to contact me somehow after our emails. he got online on whatsapp, whitch he hasn´t done after our broke up and he had there a picture which i took. he made some funny smileys in his status about that picture, same smileys whitch i use in my status. and then after week he loged off. and then about 2 weeks ago he send me an email and told me that he lost one work opportunity and when i did not responce for that after week from that he send me an invoice (mine, he got it accidently) to my work mail. We never ever used our work mails for personal things. He knows i dont like that. that was very very wierd ( all other my invoices he had sent to my personal email) or mayby that was his way of sayin this is not personal any more. That is why i´m so apprehensive about this.

    5. admin

      admin

      July 2, 2013 at 5:48 pm

      Well if you think he tried to contact you then that would be a good thing.

  16. Avatar

    Marg

    June 30, 2013 at 12:30 pm

    He dumped me little under three months ago. Was in another relationship two weeks on which ended after a month. We grew close again but he maintained we would just be friends, though there was a lot of affection and it seemed to be heading in a good direction. This went on for a few weeks an then he met someone else and is now in ANOTHER relationship. We fell out and now I’m trying to go NC but he still texts to check in from time to time. Should I just give up hope? Did he use me to pass the time between these two girls?

    1. admin

      admin

      June 30, 2013 at 10:09 pm

      Maybe, but let me ask you this. Did you ever feel in control? Or was it him who was dictating where the relationship was going.

  17. Avatar

    Rose

    June 29, 2013 at 8:45 pm

    Please help. I contacted my ex when he had a girlfriend. We talked, met up with each other and slept together. He started to go back to dating his current girlfriend, saying he needs time to process things. If I initiate the no contact rule, do you think that will help to get him back, if I restart things in a month?

    1. admin

      admin

      June 30, 2013 at 9:50 pm

      I think your biggest error was that you slept with him. You basically said through your actions that you are a “friends with benefits” type of a deal which is not what you wanted but b/c you slept with him that is how he will view you.

      I DEFINIETELY think that the no contact rule will help you.

    2. Avatar

      Rose

      June 29, 2013 at 8:46 pm

      I also did do the wrong things, like text messaging too much, calling ttoo much, yelling etc.

  18. Avatar

    Flutterby

    June 27, 2013 at 4:12 pm

    Goodness..I’ve been looking all over for a place where I can just ask for advice on my situation. I was in a long distance relationship for 3 and a half years. We’ve seen each other often enough for it to be a base of history and there are many good memories, as well as bad, I guess. I was planning on going to his country to study..because we couldn’t work out getting him here..but after some time has passed, we’ve gotten very frustrated and demotivated because there’s been so many obstacles for us being together..also..we usually used to keep in touch almost all day every day when we weren’t together. We both have been having problems with depression and emotional issues..this guy has a hard time trusting as well. We’ve had troubles in the past, but somehow we always ended up back together. Lately he’s been working like crazy..and I’ve been having a very bad time being down and nervous about everything. I’ve been wanting to visit him soon and I asked him when would work for him..and after being cold and distant for a few days, he suddenly tells me that he thinks we have to figure out what we want before making any arrangements. I told him I know what I want..I want to be with him..and he tells me he just doesn’t know anymore.
    So I ask him if we should just keep it cool..and he says that he thought that’d be better for the time being..so we could work on ourselves.
    And I ask him if we’ll just stop talking and all..he tells me no, we can still talk and that he’s not cutting me out of his life. But he doesn’t want to hurt me..
    Then he just stops replying..and goes stone cold. Ignores me for 2 weeks..while updating his facebook frantically with mysterious posts compared to what he usually does..
    So..after a while I figure out he’s in a flirt with a girl on facebook..that lives in another state from him. And she’s going to visit him in not too long…I felt so shocked and disappointed by this that I deleted him as a friend..
    I got no reaction from that. I don’t know if I expected one..but the next day I messaged him saying that I’m currently not ready to be his friend..but that I wish him all the best. He replied that he understood..and he also wished me the best.

    Now I keep feeling rejected, paranoid and disappointed..
    I’m really trying to work on myself though..I am seeing a therapist and I’m still planning to go through with my studies in the same country as him. I don’t want to let him ruin that for me..but yeah, I go through so many thoughts a day. In the morning I miss him like crazy and can’t stop thinking that I’ll never ever see him again. And then other moments I’m relatively okay..I still love him so much though. But I do realise that I have to do some work on me..because I don’t want to be that needy, nervous person anymore…

    It might sound silly..but I have a small hope I’ll be able to get back with him..but this new girl really demotivates me. I keep thinking maybe he lied to me at the point of the “break up” because he’d already met the new girl at that point. I feel empty just thinking about it…

    1. admin

      admin

      June 28, 2013 at 1:55 am

      Take some time, via the 30 day no contact rule, to reasses your feelings.

    2. Avatar

      Kate

      June 30, 2013 at 2:06 pm

      Hi, my situation is very complicated. I’ve been talking to this guy for about 6 months. when we first started talking, we met and things went off to a good start. then he went back to his country for 3 months but we talked everyday. he showed so much love and affection. i was waiting for him to come back so we can start our relationship. Now, let me point out he lives in another state, about 5 hrs away. I met him once he came back and everything was fine. Until we had a fight and he broke up with me. I know my first mistake that i texted him the next day after our fight apologizing because i felt it was my fault. he hasnt responded to my texts for 2 weeks. One day finally he responds and tells me we can only be friends. I respected his decision and didnt contact him after that. we didnt speak for about 3 weeks. once we spoke after 3 weeks, he said he still has feelings for me. my mistake number 2 was i started expressing my feelings, which i know was too early to do right now. I should have played cool. we texted here and there again for couple of weeks. I met him again and i did mistake number 3, “Booty Call”. But at that time I felt it was ok to do so because I wanted him so badly. And I know it was the wrong decision. After that day, i stopped texting him. It was only him who would text me and I would respond after some time. Its been about a month now. I found out from a source that he was talking to another girl same time he was talking to me. But they never met, it was online dating. He was going to meet her soon until he found out she was cheating on him. Now, I know he is heartbroken. And it killed me to know that he is hurt that they broke up, but didnt feel a thing when he broke up with me. All the puzzle pieces came together. Now, me being a typical woman, we also want something that we cant have. He messaged me recently after his breakup. But he doesnt know that I know. I dont know if I want him back. I want to ask him about all this but I am afraid he will stop talking to me for good because he knows he hurt me a lot. I think right now he has an image of me as a “booty call”. I want to change that image in his head about me. I dont contact him but he does. Now, my question is, how can I make him realize what mistake he has made by choosing her over me. I want to be there for him to help him through this (yeah call me stupid). And make him appreciate me more and maybe one day come clean to me and apologize. I guess what im trying to say is, make him realize his mistake and how much he has hurt me. Should I do the no contact rule again? If possible, please email me so I can give in depth details, which I cant here. Thanks

    3. admin

      admin

      June 30, 2013 at 10:12 pm

      Hi Kate,

      Why don’t you email me here: http://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/contact/

      and you can ask me specific questions.

    4. Avatar

      Kate

      June 30, 2013 at 11:36 pm

      ok, just emailed you

  19. Avatar

    LiLA keney

    June 27, 2013 at 2:18 am

    my ex boyfriend and i broke up like 2 month ago, but we stil be friend and hang out together becuz we known that we still in love but cant be lover any more. and then he start to get a new girl 3 weeks go to now. I did no begging, act like friend , act lịke i have no more feeling with him, no actually contact ( sometime, very little by mess) and he same like he like her alot , he block my facebook becuz i updated a status make he think i have feeling with another guy( i think he want to focus on his girl , then kick me out of his line) but i stil act like i dont care. And then he found out that his girl still in lov with her ex, and he felt so sad then he told me he broke up with her , i dont know they still fight each other or not, but he has no contact with me, even thought he said he broke up with this girl. I dont know what to do . Did he move on from me, doesnt love me any more. Plz help me this situation. I really love him, he told me that becuz some how we cant love any more but if we can come back he will marry me

    1. admin

      admin

      June 28, 2013 at 12:40 am

      Give it some time, try no contact out and then come back later.

    2. Avatar

      LiLA keney

      June 29, 2013 at 5:36 am

      thank so much for ur advice 🙂 I still doing the no contact rule. And 2 days next his girl will be far away for 1 months so is that my chance or something 🙁 or i just keep doing the NC and then his girl will be back 🙁 Im so hurt right now, miss him so much. Dont know what to do in this situation, plz help me , tell me what should i do 🙁 thanks so much for helping

    3. admin

      admin

      June 30, 2013 at 9:47 pm

      Maybe what you could do is try a NC period of 15 days instead of 30 and give it a try?

    4. Avatar

      LilA keney

      July 1, 2013 at 6:07 am

      thank you so much , i already finish15 days, and today he contact me and he said he unfollow me in instagram with the reason that he saw i flirt with another man,because he still have feeling for me. And he act lịke he very angry with me and he want to delete me in his life, but after a short talk we back to normal and start be friend again. So, is that he still love me or not. what i have to do next. Im so confused now, dont know what to do. Plz help me, T.T

    5. admin

      admin

      July 2, 2013 at 3:17 am

      Seems like he still has feelings which is a really good sign. Now, I would say it’s time to push his emotional hot buttons. Work on SLOWLY getting him to feel like he felt during your relationship (during the good times of course.)

  20. Avatar

    Rhoe

    June 27, 2013 at 2:03 am

    Help!!! My ex and I are done but we both still love other…he has a girlfriend……help me please

    1. Avatar

      mel

      June 30, 2013 at 2:30 am

      I understand how you feel im in that same situation right now.

    2. admin

      admin

      June 28, 2013 at 12:39 am

      Can you give any more details?

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