How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Chase You Again- Ex Boyfriend Recovery

983 thoughts on “Chase Theory: How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Chase You Again”

Jhazi Talbert

May 3, 2017 at 7:10 pm

I had a boyfriend who i was madly in love with. Things happened and his friends were talking bad abuot me and he didnt stick up for me. We ended up splitting. We started talking a couple days after that and he’s mean when he text and keeps talking about how he’s talking to someone else who is better than me. We have broken up 3 other times for somewhat similar circumstances. He always says that he loves me and that he wants me back and i push him away but then eventully after he assures me that the same things wont happen I end up taking him back. He might start a new relationship with someone else but im still in love with him and i just feel like nothing without him. I want him back but I dont want to lose my pride I want to lure him in but have him beg for me. Please help!

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 3, 2017 at 8:16 pm

do you want to try the advice above?

Donna

May 1, 2017 at 3:14 pm

Hi there,

My ex and I had a relationship of many years. Needless to say, he wasn’t treating me right and I assumed ( still assume) he was looking else where. Ultimately I did the same with one guy for over a year. Break up was bad when he found out and we went nc for almost 2months. I initiated contact, we started talking here and there. I opened up and admitted everything, every detail of the transgression and said I want to win you back. He said ok but I’m still unsure what I want.

Since then, we talked here and there til one day 5 months ago he randomly tried getting into my house. We talked everyday since. Just normal stuff. He’s opened up to me in the past about everything, that he still loves me and I have a good chance of winning him back.

We have slept together a few times, although at first he said it was a mistake because it would be leading me on if he doesn’t decide he wants this.

It’s been 5 months of me chasing him, talking everyday, the hot and cold with him, him canceling plans and never wanting to hang out, him going on dating sites and when I tell him that’s not ok he reminds me ” we are not together I can date who I want when I want til I decide what to do about us”. We continued to talk after that, with him some days asking me to go places with him then canceling, talking about our days and joking all the time.

Yesterday he was really rude out of no where after canceling hanging out over the weekend then for the first time in months ignoring all my texts ” stop texting me like I date you I don’t have to answer all your texts “… at that point I had it. I may have messed up but I don’t deserve to be treated this way. I told him I do love him and wish we could of worked this out but unfortunately I don’t feel the love coming from his end and don’t want to waste my time going after someone who isn’t there”… all he responded with was “bye”… after all we have been through that was his response. I am deeply hurt by that, but I am sticking to my guns. Enough is enough. I’m just not sure what to think about his response or his behavior towards me. Advice ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 2, 2017 at 6:06 pm

you’re his friend with benefits.. for me you should move on

Beata

April 20, 2017 at 7:49 pm

HI,

I successfully restarted the contact with my ex after 30 days NC period. Our conversation are going pretty good, 50/50 split, jokes, I managed to show him (fb, texts) I’ve grown since our break up and that I’m doing a couple of new things in my life (gym, dance classes). When we text, we talk quite a lot recently but the problem is, it is not really often. I know you mention patience, but also what about the low/high tide theory? Kinda not happening. In order to get a chance to ask him out for a coffee or for him to ask me out, I feel like we need to talk more frequently. What can I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 26, 2017 at 3:56 pm

its ok to initiate, as long as you’re the one ending the conversation at high point.. you have to initiate more because once a week texting doesn’t build rapport that much..

Maria

March 20, 2017 at 4:39 am

Hiiii.i am 20 years old and my ex boyfriend is22.he is the only guy I can imagine my future with.he was my best friend.eventually we started chatting through WhatsApp.i think that talks made a profound bond between us from each day.he is very caring . One day he asked me whether I love him or not.i said that I like him without a doubt.he also said the Same thing though,one can easily understand that relationship as love,we were actually not in love.at first we couldn’t pause our conversation for even a few minutes. then we practices a complusive silence because of the thought about some up coming family problems from both sides and he has some financial problems.we were in state of uncertainty because of these factors . He even restrained from the relationship.but I couldn’t accept that situation.i waited for some day and I proposed him seriously but his reply was he love me but he can’t love me.because my parents not allowed to get Marry and he have so many financial problems .He has a life only after his life was settled.and now he says that he can be my best friend.i am very depressed .What can I do now

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 24, 2017 at 4:09 pm

Hi Maria,

do you want to try the no contact rule?

Faith

March 14, 2017 at 8:25 pm

My ex broke up with me almost a year ago and has given me conflicting signs since then. We have the same friends and have been hanging out in this group every few months. There are times when he is super flirty with me and there are times when I wonder if he even knows I’m there. I stopped contacting him for a while (up to 2 months two different times) thinking it wasn’t helping anything when we were talking–we always have great conversation and it worries me that he treats me like a friend only.
After this past time of hanging out with our friends a few weeks ago, he reached out bringing up something that he noticed made me laugh. We have been talking some since and I have paid attention to what is noted in this article. I do not text him emotionally and I notice that his messages are longer than mine. Still, I don’t know how to get him to actually associate the emotional side with me. I can tell that he likes talking to me, but I don’t want to be the girl he talks to when he’s bored. What do you suggest I do to really make him crave talking to me?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 16, 2017 at 11:26 am

Hi Faith,

that’s why you need to keep talking and the reason why it’s ok to initiate and that you’re the one ending it at cliffhanger because you have to build rapport and he has to associate you as a person he has fun conversations with

Anne

February 25, 2017 at 3:02 am

Hi. I have a 4 year relationship. We were not an LDR during the 3 years &8 months of our relationship. Then last october 2016, he went to Korea for his job. During the first months, we were totally okay and sweet. Then another month has passed but fights and arguments begun to start. Being a paranoid and an overthinking gf are some of the reason why we fought during those days. But still my bf understands me. Then this January, I’ve noticed that he is distant and always busy.. So I ask him if he wants the relationship to stop. At first, his answer was that I only think and feel that but I insisted him to tell me the truth.. So he told me that he was tired and sick of our repetitive arguments. And he wants to rest. So I gave him the space, after 2 days he contatcted me.. Then I replied. The next few days, he also texted me first but on the next 2 weeks, he texted me and I ask if when can we be back together. He told me he is resting so he coudld not answer. After a week, a texted him telling that we can try again.. I don’t kmow if I pressured him but that’s the time he told me he don’t want commitment.. I don’t know whats on his mind. At first he told me that we can just use this space to fix ourselves so we can have a.good relationship. Amd now, after asking him a little too much, he pushed me away.

Anne

February 25, 2017 at 10:52 pm

Hi Chris. Yes, I’m doing it now. Because I can see to him that he wants our relationship end but still keep the communication with us open. we are engaged already so there are things that I’m the one doing here in the PH for his family. So he talks to me as normal everytime he need something to ask and that he doesn’t want to have any gap or bitterness. I don’t get his idea.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 25, 2017 at 9:43 pm

Hi Anne,

So now, are you going to try the advice above?

julia

February 2, 2017 at 2:03 am

Hi,

I was living with my boyfriend(now ex) for about a year and then I noticed him pulling away and becoming more depressed around me and spending more and more time with friends and having later nights out and not communicating with me before making plans with friends. I gave him an ultimatum shape up or be single as he was leading a single guy life and neglecting me, as we were looking to move into our own place and spoke of a future with kids and marriage. Suddenly he needed space and took a week to come to the decision that he wanted to breakup as it ‘was too hard’ a decision as we seemed to want different things but he still loved me. Is this a lost cause or do I do the NC rule. It happened last week.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 2, 2017 at 7:19 pm

Hi Julia,

do you still live together?

Susan

January 23, 2017 at 8:42 pm

12 year relationship 3 kids got to the point we hardly talked had some great days and some bad mostly bad but we do still love each other we got into a argument and he moved out…. says he will come see us on certain days but doesn’t it’s been 8 days now… he hardly talks to me and some days not at all…. what can i do to fix our relationship and family 12 years is a long time….

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 24, 2017 at 1:33 pm

Hi Susan,

even if this is for exboyfriends, you can still apply the advice on the links below:
How To Prevent A Breakup With Your Boyfriend When You Know It’s Coming
EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend
The Definitive Guide On Getting Your Ex Husband Back

Allison

December 28, 2016 at 9:03 am

I broke up with BF because I felt he wasn’t over his ex. I did no contact on him for three months, neither of us reached out during this time. On Christmas day he sends a Merry Christmas text, I sent something generic and closed back, like “thanks, you too”. He then started to text flirt with questions and kiss emojis. What’s up with that? Is he just fishing for attention? We’ve thrown a few small talk messages back and forth but that’s it. Should I have ignored his Merry Christmas text? What do you recommend?
Thanks,

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 30, 2016 at 4:52 am

Hi Allison

if thr goal is to move on, yes, you should ignore it..

Emilie

December 16, 2016 at 9:27 pm

Hi Chris! I had a relationship with my ex for 3 yrs. I finished my Nc 2 weeks ago and i saw on my ex’s facebook that he was putting lot of sad songs about breakups . So at the end of last week i texted him and he replied positively and he wanted to know more about me but i cut it short and ended the conversation. Then 2 days later i send him a remember message and i tried to have a short conversation with him but all his replies were short and neutral. One day later, i send him another remember message and we had a much more longer conversation but his replies were still short and neutral and a little positive. I thought that we were going in a good path so the next day i send him a joke picture(It was a joke that we used to say to each other when we were together)on his facebook messenger and i wrote also that it made me think about him but he didnt reply to me…One day already passed and i was really hoping that he will contact me…All this time i was the one to initiate the contact and making the conversation and i was also giving likes to some of his posts on fb (from the start he was giving me likes too but it ended abruptly) . Do you think that because i chose to contact him on facebook that time it frightened him?! I dont know what is my next move and i feel like chasing him because he doesnt seems interested in me. Why he is not contacting me? What should i do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 19, 2016 at 11:30 pm

Hi Emilie,

Why did you break up? How many times have you broken up?

Lola

December 12, 2016 at 3:05 pm

So here goes, i was dating my boyfriend for 7 years. We break up because i get annoyed at him for a stupid reason. So i did the NC rule a couple of times, some times it worked sometimes it didnt. we were apart for a year and there were times that i completely ignored him for a good 40 days and there were days where i begged for him back which he never accepted. Soo after a year we get back together, its been about a month now and i know i shouldnt be taking things too quickly and deeply.. but this guy is making me feel unwelcome, hes making me feel as if the only reason he decided to take me back was out of pity. He doesnt text like he used to he doesnt call or check up on me like he used to he gets angry quickly as if he’s itching for a fight with me. Im scared to do the NC rule now that I have him cause i dont want him to leave again. So heres my question, how do you get a guy that you already have to chase you and how do i gain back control of someone that i already have but is acting shallow? Help!

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 14, 2016 at 7:34 pm

Hi Lola,
What do you think about the advice above? Aside from that,
Check this:
Keeping Him Once You Get Him Back

Shelly

December 12, 2016 at 9:18 am

Hey Chris
Iv been going through a hell of a lot lately. Iv been dating my boyfriend for 6 years, we had an arguement and called things off. I started missing him within a couple of days and started apologising for the mistakes he made just to get everything back on track like it used to be. After about an hour of talking and crying he agreed to get back with me only if i give him some space (meaning i dont check up on him and basically let him get on with whatever the hell he intends on doing with other people). So i agreed. After a couple of months all texting starts from me all calls are from me. He stops answering my calls at night and soon after i realise he’s with someone else. So i basically waited a year for them to break up and pushed away any guy that tried to approach me. I just waited and waited for the time to come. I went through the NC stage, i got a few phone calls and texts here and there but that spark never occured. Sure I’d text him a couple of times when he was with his girlfriend asking him to think through whatever he intends on doing thoroughly and whether or not its worth throwing away 6 years worth of time and affection.. i mean i only tried to steal back what was stolen from me. So things didnt go to plan and they break up. Again, i kept trying to win him back with him giving me little to no attention until one day out of the blue he calls and speaks to me and from that day on everything slides back on track miraclulously. The thing is, he’s acting shallow. He’s deliberatly trying to pick a fight with me. Like i’d text him, wont get a reply back, then i’d call.. he wont pick up.. then the next day he’d call and throw in stupid excuses that i know are for a fact are lies and then when i try to get even and do the same like not answer one of his calls, he would throw a fit and pick a fight with me. I dont want to do anything that would result in me drawing him away again, i went through too much and put up with way too much to throw myself back in that situation again. I just want him back the way he used to be. I dont want to see other people because if i could i would have done so in that 1 year. He knows for a fact that he has me and he has me where he wants me. Help me!

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 14, 2016 at 7:11 pm

Hi Shelly,

Truth is, he wasn’t stolen from you. The relationship ended, he moved on and then you continued to chase him up until now. It’s not going to get back to the way it was before because that was over. If you really want a guy or another person to treat you well, you have to treat yourself well first. If you keep chasing, of course he would keep running for you to keep chasing him. Put yourself first now, reassess your standard. We train people how they treat us by allowing them what they can do to us. If you stayed even if he’s like that, why would he change? You’re conveying that you wouldn’t leave no matter what because you’re so hung up on him, so, of course he wouldn’t change. I know it hurts but I have to say it. You’ve been chasing for a year now. I’m not saying there’s no chance but to increase it, you have to put yourself first.

sammy

December 11, 2016 at 12:17 am

hi there,
i commented a few days ago, but have not seen any response.
long story short my ex boyfriend broke up with me after being together for a year and few months in september because he thinks i cheated on him, even though i did not.
eversince then we have been arguing, with me chasing him back and fourth trying to convince him that i didnt cheat. he assumes i cheated because i didnt let him look through my phone. he is very angry and will not listen. in october i asked if he would ever come back, he said i dont know. then in november he asked me to tell him the truth and explain why i didnt let him look through my phone. after explaining he didnt message me back. last week i sent him a long message again trying to convince him that i am the right one. he replied saying that we will talk, however he did not message me after that. a few days after, i messaged him again. this time i was being rude. he ended up blocking me on snapchat but not my phone number. i asked our mutual friend to talk to him and my ex told her that he is completely done with me and will not come back. the mutual friend said that my ex is putting his ego first and that he is acting like he is way too good for me. my ex is still upset. i have been chasing him for 3 months.. do you think he will come back? i really love him and would love to be with him.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 11, 2016 at 6:07 pm

Hi Sammy,

do you want to try the advice on the other blog post you commented?

Chloe

November 17, 2016 at 6:12 am

Hey Chris,
So I guess I should provide some background. I dated my ex almost 2 years ago and since have been on and off “talking” (basically acting as if we were together but not). This confused me because he would always end it then get in a relationship, then they’d break up soon after and he’d come back to me. I did the same thing in sad attempts to get over him and leave him for good, but we never officially dated since we did two years ago. I always ruined my relationships unconsciously because I still cared so much for my ex. I still do and I’ve been making myself seen by him but making it seem as if It was unintentional. But if i get too close I get awkward and my friends have noticed it. I want to be confident and make him want me again but Its so hard when it seems like all he wants is friends with benefits and I cant even utter a word in his presence anymore.
Thanks soooo much and your articles help me sOOO much. I was hopeless before i found this site.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 17, 2016 at 1:11 pm

Hi Chloe,

at this point, what you allow is what you get. Speak up and be brave. Do you want to try the no contact rule?

Kaye

November 9, 2016 at 10:32 pm

Hi, i read a few articles and took notes so i could built my exboyfriendrecovery mission and i have a few doubts…
I already started the NC 3 days ago but actually im waiting for him to send me money he owns me (like quite a lot of money) so i can’t ignore him at all, he said he’s sent me but still hasn’t so thats the only thing im waiting for to stop talking to him for real! Its a matter i can’t let it go though. Does talking to him about that matter counts as breaking the NC?

And, after NC, should i wait for him to send me a text or shall I start it? And what if everything goes smooth but during QBT he’s the first ending convos and says ‘ill text you later’ but doesn’t do it? Should i stop talking to him there or start a convo again?

Thankyou.

Kaye

November 17, 2016 at 9:23 pm

Hi,

As i keep reading… new doubts appear. So i started NC and its been already 10 days. But my birthday is before the Nc ends, if he congratulates me, am i able to reply? And what if he never congratulates me, shall i talk to him after NC even tho his feelings might be pretty clear since he didnt congratulate me on my birthday? 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 19, 2016 at 8:29 pm

If he greets you, dont reply. If he doesnt, then it would be your decision if you still want to try..
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 13, 2016 at 1:39 pm

Hi Kaye,
yes, you can talk to him about money during nc and yes you can initiate contact after but, you should be the one ending the conversations in high note

Emma

October 20, 2016 at 4:35 pm

Hi, my ex and I broke up 6months ago and he is now with another girl. I see both of them everyday in collage and they seem madly in love and I don’t know what to do to get him back. I want to try texting him but I don’t know how to start a conversation and be able to text him often, please help

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 22, 2016 at 11:46 am

Hi emma,
check this one:
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video

Amy

October 16, 2016 at 7:47 pm

I don’t know if I want him back anymore, but we have been friends a very long time before we dated. I told him a year ago that I was getting feelings for him, he had been hurt before, so I ended up in this push and pull with him for a year…always crying (I don’t feel it, it’s not meant to be, you have to many red flags) I’d accept it and then again it would begin. Now we actually dated, cause I had seriously let him go, and I’m not perfect, but one bump and he pushes me always, and I think he thought when I finally said I was done he didn’t believe me. He saw me in the store, and then I get texts about he messes everything up, but before (almost a month of silence and weirdness) he blamed me for overreacting. He found his things on his mothers porch the same day and freaking went off on me, blocked me…I had not said anything to the previous sweet texts…he then returned the shirts I got him for his birthday. I had been kinda off a little when I was around his kids, only cause I know our history and didn’t want to get to attached…I did and it hurts…I want him, but I want him to accept me the way I am. He is sensitive like me and I always do my best to not do things to hurt him. He doesn’t seem to think it’s ok for me to want the same respect. He doesn’t respect me, and now that I put my foot down I feel like I messed up only cause I know this is his fear, being left. All the other girls did and now the one he said he trusted did, but he doesn’t care that I’m just waiting on him to decide when it’s ok for him to deal with it. I know he’s busy right now, but I don’t ask for much, and I still was dealing with the year of stuff he put me through. I trusted him, but knew there was a chance this would happen. I also screwed up and told him I was still working through that, I said I wasn’t mad but I still had to work through it, it hard when your friend hurt you like that a kept you hanging on a thread for a year cause he could….he was great boyfriend and did try, but I can’t even screw up once without a punishment. Now he hates me 🙁 not a two way street when I need him and I am always there for him, and forgive him when he gets upset….

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 18, 2016 at 10:57 am

Hi Amy,

Move on.. whether he has been left before or not, it’s not right to disrespect.. He has to deal with his issues and not blame it on other people

Ang

September 12, 2016 at 6:04 pm

Hi. My ex contacted me on Friday and we had a really nice conversation. He even mentioned doing something on Saturday. The previous evening I made the mistake of texting him after a couple of drinks. So after waiting all day Saturday I called him to see if he still wanted to do something and he was distant and acted like he couldn’t wait to get me off the phone and he also sounded really depressed and said he was just gonna stay home so I told him I was gonna go ahead and go to dinner with my friends. I asked him if everything was ok because he was acting different. He said we were good, he was tired and just didn’t really have anything to say. I ended the call and told him maybe I would talk to him sometime. Super confused. Wondering what my next step should be? He is hot and cold with me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 14, 2016 at 2:10 pm

HI Ang,

I’m going to assume that you already did nc.. and I think you moved too fast for him so now, he’s pulling away.. Just take it slow..

Yna

September 2, 2016 at 3:11 am

Hi EBR Team!

My ex have been seeing each other lately altho in a friendly way. We belong in a trio bestfriend so every week, we have this tradition of drinking out or watching a movie together with another friend. I can feel we’re really comfortable with each other but I’m not sure if he wants to take it to the next step. Before we got in this level of comofrtability, I applied your tactics of NC rule, had some long conversations over the text but now it all feels platonic especially that we’re both busy. Our only communication is every friday, during this hangout. What do I do?

Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 2, 2016 at 3:50 pm

HI Yna,

look your best every hang out.. but of course your outfit must be proper for the occasion… Have you tried dating others?

kimia

August 30, 2016 at 7:28 am

hi EBR team,
first off all I really want to thank you,my ex and I brokeup almost 3months ago,I started to read most of the articles and did exactly what you adviced in the articles and comments,i did a long no contact(90 days),I tried to be an UG again and I can tell I did it,I was active on my instagram and i was succsesful in showing that i’m not weak,needy or depressed any more,and the good news is that my ex lately tried to make me jealous by his posts and comments and captions on his insta profile,i took dear amor’s advice and i ignored his actions,and then he deleted and removed these things that wanted to make me jealouse with,after that he posted 2 pictures on his instagram with captions below it that was about me,which was obvious that he wants me back cause he wrote about ”how he always tried to have me but i never did the same for him and i dont know the right way to how to get back to him”,and the other one was this;” I had a lot of reasons to give up on u , but i chose to stay …
U had a lot of reasons to stay , but u chose to give up …”
NOW my question is with all this things going on right now and next week is his birthday,is it ok to send him a simple happy birthday text?I know you forbid it during NC but I had 90days of it and I think I showed him I’m strong enough to get over him

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 31, 2016 at 12:41 pm

Hi Kimia,

yeah, it’s ok.. It’s time to rebuild rapport.

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983 thoughts on “Chase Theory: How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Chase You Again”