The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

isabelle

November 4, 2016 at 6:16 pm

hey team
can you explain the difference between the good reminder text VS texting an ex boyfriend, the new rules?

thank you

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 5, 2016 at 11:30 pm

Hi Isabelle,

The good reminder text is one of the different kinds of texts you can use. It’s just one of the strategies. The texting an exboyfriend(the new rules) is a blog post that gives more advice, and some other strategies in texting that wasn’t mentioned in other posts. The good reminder is just using a good memory as a topic or style for a text. Another one is using a story, that is mentioned in the texting an exboyfriend(the new rules)

Jennifer

November 4, 2016 at 6:10 pm

Heyy
sorry for some reason my comment couldn’t get on the website…
Should I wait one week before texting him or should I start texting him right away with the new rules of texting? (the last time we texted was monday october 31). Should my first text be a*good reminder text* or something else? I’m kinda confuse on this for my situation (good reminder VS texting an boyfriend, the new rule). By the way is it normal that i’m scared? I don’t wanna ruin my chances… I know it’s gonna be a process. But how can I rebuild the rapport? How can I rebuilt the attraction slowly?

please help me

thank you for your help, it has helped me a lot

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 5, 2016 at 11:32 pm

Hi Isabelle,

The good reminder text is one of the different kinds of texts you can use. It’s just one of the strategies. The texting an exboyfriend(the new rules) is a blog post that gives more advice, and some other strategies in texting that wasn’t mentioned in other posts. The good reminder is just using a good memory as a topic or style for a text. Another one is using a story, that is mentioned in the texting an exboyfriend(the new rules)
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 5, 2016 at 11:32 pm

Hi Isabelle,

The good reminder text is one of the different kinds of texts you can use. It’s just one of the strategies. The texting an exboyfriend(the new rules) is a blog post that gives more advice, and some other strategies in texting that wasn’t mentioned in other posts. The good reminder is just using a good memory as a topic or style for a text. Another one is using a story, that is mentioned in the texting an exboyfriend(the new rules)
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 5, 2016 at 2:15 pm

Hi Jennifer,

sorry about that. They were coming in, I just havent reached them yet.. I think you should wait a week before trying them..If you already sent one, that’s ok..

Ana

November 4, 2016 at 6:06 pm

Hi there,

So my ex and I have been dating for about a year. I was his first GF. We weren’t perfect for eachother (we did fight a lot) but we loved one another deeply. One day after a fight, we broke up we thought it was the right thing to do because our relationship was based on a bad timing (a lot of stress due to work). But after a day or two, I couldn’t take it anymore and I begged him to give us another chance, I begged him for almost a week everyday we did have sex twice during this week but never got back together, I told him that I had hope for the future, but he told me To stop hoping, that it was never going to happen. I dont know if he just tried to push me away or if he really meant it.
Then I came across your website and stopped contacting him (NC Rule), started dieting, working and just getting back into life. I already feel much better and I am hopeful that I can get him back. But I don’t want to get my hope too high.
My questions are:what are my chances of getting him back? what if he doesn’t contact me during the 30 days of the NC rule?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 6, 2016 at 2:12 pm

Hi Ana,

if he doesnt contact you, you can initate contact after 30 days..Yeah, I think you just need space from each other..

Suzie

November 4, 2016 at 3:09 pm

Hi ! I need help. I left a comment on here before under the name suzie. I really need advice with my situation. ‘Y boyfriend brokeup with me then qe talked and decided to take a break instead, weve been texting ever since and we saw eachother one weekend because we missed eachother. We had some rules set for the break. No hooking up or talking to other people and we set an end date. The goal for this break was to appreciate eachother more and miss eachother again and eventually get back together .He just talked to me lastnight and said he doesnt feel like its a break and wants to have a real break and not be limited to talk to other girls or anything. we were not talking for 2 more weeks and we’re free to do what we want. Naturally im very hurt and i dont know if i want to be with someone who can hook up with someone and forget about me like its nothing. But i love him and i feel like if he comes back to me after this it means its me he really wants. He keeps saying he doesn’t deserve me and stuff like that. I dont know what to do please help

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 6, 2016 at 11:53 am

Suzie,

I think you need to start the count for 30 days no contact now because it just looks like you’re slowly helping him move on by agreeing on his terms..

Isabelle

November 3, 2016 at 11:32 pm

Hey whats the difference between the “good reminder text” vs “texting a boyfriend (the new rules)?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 5, 2016 at 11:31 pm

Hi Isabelle,

The good reminder text is one of the different kinds of texts you can use. It’s just one of the strategies. The texting an exboyfriend(the new rules) is a blog post that gives more advice, and some other strategies in texting that wasn’t mentioned in other posts. The good reminder is just using a good memory as a topic or style for a text. Another one is using a story, that is mentioned in the texting an exboyfriend(the new rules)

Miles

November 3, 2016 at 8:53 pm

Amor, today I completed two weeks of no contact with my ex. But I still haven’t contacted her yet. You told me to text her using the tide theory, little by little. But today she posted this ok twitter “I’m extremely content being single. It’s nice just doing your own thing, not worrying if your actions will cause an arguement.” Should I text her after this? I’m afraid to text her 🙁 what should I do? I just want her back :/

Miles

November 13, 2016 at 3:33 pm

Amor, I haven’t contacted her in over three weeks now. Can you tell me exactly what might be going through her mind about me at this point? And how do you think she would react to a text message from me!?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 2:41 pm

sorry Miles, I cant tell you that. I would be lying if i said I’m sure about what she thinks. You just have to start being brave and text her
Miles

November 12, 2016 at 2:38 pm

Amor what are some tactics I can use to make her contact me first?! And would giving her all the stuff she gave me, be a good idea?
Miles

November 8, 2016 at 2:49 pm

Amor I kept trying to think of what to text her but I couldn’t 🙁 please help with my first text!! Also I’m thinking of extending my two week nc to three weeks. What do you think about that? Amor how do I make her feel as if she’s losing me forever? Like she’ll never have me again? I’m soo reluctant on texting her right now because I feel like if I do, she’ll think I’m chasing after her again. Please help me out with these questions
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 9, 2016 at 6:40 am

You have to keep improving yourself and having your own life.. Continue going out with your friends and continue the new activities you’re doing..Act like you’re moving on. List down all her interests or use a current topic like the election and then review the links below and choose a style you want to apply on your chosen topic.
EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message

Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)
Miles

November 7, 2016 at 7:11 pm

I’m honestly so confused amor, idk what to text her! Please help!
Miles

November 6, 2016 at 12:13 am

I’m so afraid to text her, what should I even say to her at this point?! I’m honestly willing to do anything and everything. Again I haven’t talked to her in two weeks, I doubt she misses me. What should I text her?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 7, 2016 at 1:57 am

just be natural..anything that’s current.. Dont over think..
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 5, 2016 at 10:35 pm

That means being in a relationship for her is a lot of fights.. So, if she senses you’re trying to get her back and then you get angry, then you’re just confirming that belief of hers.. Until she can see that you’re not like that anymore, she won’t take a chance again. And of course, that means, you have to be patient. There’s a small chance of getting back with her. You have to build rapport and attraction and change that mindset of hers by not getting angry no matter what. It sounds unrealistic, but if she has that belief, one argument would be like, “I’m so right to stay single.”

rae

November 3, 2016 at 8:24 pm

Hello,

I’m a college student and I’ve never been in a relationship, but I met this guy about 2 months ago, and we really connected, and we almost had sex and I was intoxicated that night and didn’t remember him telling me not to tell anyone. Long story short, he said he didn’t trust me and he didn’t see any chance of us getting back together and that it’s up to me: we can be friends or I can cut him from my life all together. But I want him back. This conversation happened Sunday, and since then I haven’t had any contact with him and he text me the other night saying, “What’s going Megan and Edgar?” They are two of our friends that are trying to figure out what they are lol

HELPPP PLEASE!!

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 5, 2016 at 10:33 pm

Hi Rae,

so you’re not actually together, and he gets angry because you told everybody else what happened that night?

Tash

November 3, 2016 at 1:06 pm

Hi,
My boyfriend of almost 1 and a half years broke it off with me last Thursday over text. He sent me this: Tushy I’ve been thinking about this for awhile now, but I want to end our relationship. I held out until the end of the HSC so you’d be okay for your exams but you’re done now. Our relationship is toxic and I haven’t been enjoying for along time now, we fight alot and our personalities don’t match, we also don’t share any hobbies and I don’t want to continue on for no reason because it’s inevitable that the relationship was going to end, I need someone more inependedent and you need someone who is more caring and soft and that just isn’t me. Im sorry I couldn’t do this face to face it’s just hard considering you. We can talk it over in real life at some point but for now I’d like to be by myself, if you show up randomly to talk or come over crying im just going to send you home because I don’t want to deal with that at this point. I’ve got my exam coming up and would just like some peace and this has been brooding on mind far to long. Sorry bubs but it was going to end and I would rather not drag it out, yes this is the reason I’ve been keeping my distance. Because I felt so bad to look at you when all I wanted to do was leave. I just wanted to to finish off by saying that it isn’t you bubs, I don’t hate you I never have, it’s just this relationship doesn’t work for us and you can try and use your Rose tinted glasses but there are so many flags.

And I didn’t get angry or anything I just sent a couple of long messages saying I had been working on myself etc.
He then said
Our relationship is done. I don’t want it anymore. I can’t be in it. You aren’t what I need in a mental state. And I act caring. But I’m really not.
But I know he cares. He became distant at around the 11 Oct. Before that, on the 10th we were amazing – perfectly fine. And before that, we had the off argument and had a couple issues but they were resolved.

After that^
I said to him. I’m just saying. I worked my issues out.
And he said:
That’s awesome Tushy. But I’m leaving you regardless. I’m sorry. But I dont want anymore of this relationship. It’s all good that you’ve worked stuff out. But I want to be single. I want to be alone. And I’m sorry but that means we have to end.
I said: I still love you very much and I know you’re very much an alone person.
Then he said: Keep playing WoW. I’ll help out. Message me if you need something I don’t mind. (Referring to the game). Just in terms of us being in a relationship that stops today. I’m sorry bubs I really am. But I can’t do it anymore. I really cant.
I then said: Okay.. I’m disappointed but okay.. I don’t particularly want to play on my own but I will.
He responded:
You’re taking this much better than I thought. I’m gonna miss what we had. But I need to get a hold for myself. (On the outside in person I was devastated but I knew having a go at him and begging wasn’t going to get me anywhere)
I then said:
That’s because I worked my shit out.. I know Josh it’s okay.. We don’t know what the future holds..I still love you very much and I am very sorry.. You mean the world to me and I deserve it for what I was like..
He then said:
It isn’t you. It really is me. You’ll find someone amazing don’t worry
I said:
No Josh.. you can’t deny that was the problem.. it’s a bad time for you and you need to be on your own.. I’m not interested

I messaged him on Tues this week to wish him luck with his last hsc exam and he said he should be fine. I asked if he was studying hard and he said “nope. Barely any at all. Just been chilling out and enjoying life, playing games and what not”
What I want to point out is that he loves gaming. Its his release. And it’s also what I believe, allows him to block everything out and fall into the game – locking himself out basically.
A fair few hours after he broke up with Mr he changed his Facebook profile pic and his relationship status and I did after him.
He hadn’t deleted me or blocked me off anything, or changed the emoji we have set I’m our chat (the heart with stars). He did delete me off battlenet – a server for games which I thought was probably because I was online all the time (allowing a game to download – not stalking him haha). And I haven’t added him back.
He has always been a very alone person – likes him alone time and at the beginning of our relationship we were talking and together all the time and that changed. At first I hated it but then I realized we needed that space apart. That was what he needed and I did too.
On the 10th, i messaged him and expressed that he needed to communicate to me etc – not pushy or anything just wanted him to know.
He responded with:
Communication should change soon. Seeing each other will go back to normal. Ill do my best to sent you small meaningful messages. (A few other things) and I love you so much.
A couple days before the 10th I said:
Something like I was worried we were drifting or something as he was distant.
He said:
You need to stop worrying. I’m not trying to get rid of you.

Also should point out. Around the same time he became distant, his best friend and girlfriend broke up. She broke up with him and it was mutual.

And I’ve looked back over our messages as I was a little insecure (about myself) and I was either happy and sending heaaaaps of messages or a little cold as he wasn’t messaging me back as often as id like. I used to get frustrated that he wouldn’t message me back soon after.

I just really want this to work out. He leaves on Saturday this week for 2 weeks in New Zealand. And I wanted to talk face to face before that but I figure I should probably let him be. He won’t have his computer games with him while he’s away I’m pretty sure.
We talked about a future together and he said he would marry me one day and our relationship was amazing!! He understood all my issues from my childhood and was always there for me. In the first 6-7ish months when we were all about eachother, he was incredible and I was at times stupid and mean but he never let it bother him. After those months he realized he was missing his hobby – gaming with his friends – I’m pretty sure and he said he needed that space to mellow out. I wasn’t cool with that in the beginning and we fought a fair bit bit I accepted it soon enough afterwards. I have seen in all my past messages where I went wrong and I have worked on these issues the past week and have grown stronger and more determined to get him back. I don’t think I should do the no contact rule. I’m scared he’ll think oh she’s moved on that’s good (cause he’s quite aloof) and just forget us.
I feel that the real mix of things that caused this was seeing a breakup, the stress of hsc (even though he claimed he was fine I feel like he wasn’t), and the fact that he just gamed the entire 3 weeks he was distant. I didn’t push him in that time. Just said let me know when you want to organise something and he’d say alrighty bubs. There was also something that happened on the morning of the maths exam – not far from his house and in clear view someone had hung themselves off the old aqueduct and he was quite disturbed by it.

I am so scared of losing him. I’ve read every article about everything. And I know that I still love him so much. And I’m so determined to get him back. Whether it be we do it slowly or something. I just badly want him back, happy and the way he was before he got distant. When we finally meet up I don’t know what to say to him and if we can work this out (which I really want) I want him to lay out what he needs right now in the relationship and we will compromise. He lacked communication in the end and it used to be great. Please help me. I just don’t know what to do.
Sorry, it’s so long. I wanted you to have a full story so you could give me the best ideas. Didn’t want to leave anything out.
Thank you in advance 🙂

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 5, 2016 at 2:59 pm

Hi Tash,

looks like he thinks you’re needy and clingy.. do you want to try the no contact rule? If you’re going tobdonit, do at least 30 days. And check this one too:
The Ungettable Girl

Jennifer

November 3, 2016 at 10:55 am

Should I wait one week before texting him i should start already withe the new rules?

Jennifer

November 3, 2016 at 10:58 am

Should I wait one week before starting to text him or should i start with the new rules of texting?
Is it normal that im scared, i dont want ruin anything.
Oh should my first text be a good reminder or something else, im kinda confuse..
Please reply asap

Jen

November 3, 2016 at 2:45 am

Hi i really need help. I fell out of love a little bit with my ex bf so i treated him really badly and said the most hurtful things when he was trying so hard to get me back. I ended up breaking up with him because we were drifting apart. But i realized how much i really loved him so i asked for him back but he doesn’t want me anymore. He said he lost all his respect for me because of the things ive said and did to him. AFter that he completely changed. He has a group of guy friends now, shops when he never did before, started working out. So basically now he cares alot about how he looks and all. Back then he didnt. He didnt even care if his hair was a mess or his clothes smelled. For a couple of months we agreed to work things out. But during those months, he never hung out with me once or even have enough patience to hold a conversation with me. We lived together so this made me feel very awkward. We barely even talked. I felt like he was annoyed at me. Just a few days ago, i pressured him to give me an answer. He said i am not in love with u anymore. I tried to find those feelings back but it wasn’t there. Did he really fall out of love or do u think he is still angry about what ive done and that basically ate at him??

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 4, 2016 at 10:08 pm

Hi Jen,

So, you’re still living together? I think he’s angry.. but in a way, he’s doing the right thing. Let him do the right thing. Improve yourself too. Check this one:
EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

jinna

November 2, 2016 at 10:01 pm

hello..Amor how r u?
i want to say that after liking my profile picture by him on facebook ,suddenly yesterday i saw that he updated his Dp kind of “i love u ony u that u” type i thought there may be the involvemnt of another person. there is two numbers one of which he blocked me and other one i blocked him. Today he unblocked me and in other one he updated the dp which i had like in past. Again he is silent bcz of his nature? should i also unblocked him on other one wtsapp??
what to do?? plz suggest

jinna

November 7, 2016 at 8:31 pm

hlo..
Actually sorry i saw those msges. first msge was sadness emoji second msge was that again emoji third one normally he was trying to say very normal talk. I thought u will say seen them msg but you can’t reply.that’s why i saw the msges and not rply them.they are seen.may be he was hurt.and what to do ??5-6 days left now for nc.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 9, 2016 at 6:43 am

that’s ok.. At least you didnt reply.. Make the most of the remaining days for yourself instead of worrying about him
jinna

November 6, 2016 at 8:11 pm

hello Amor
plz tell me what to do now?
he sent me messges three times first time on whatsapp i ignored them..they are still unseen by me.first two msges emojies of kind of sadness and then 3 rd nd 4th one some kind of funy line…but don’t replied bcz of nc rule. now at this point just tell me how to deal with this u know allready last tym what was happened. on whatsapp should i seen the msges and rply or only seen then ignore them or only keep msges delieverd.
i can’t beleive this tym he initiated…??
what to do plz tell n thnku
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 7, 2016 at 4:52 pm

just keep it unseen, focus in making the most remaining days if nc in improving yourself because after nc, you still have to continue those activities while building rapport with him
jinna

November 6, 2016 at 9:26 am

my rply?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 6, 2016 at 11:22 am

Sorry Jinna,
I just reached your comment.. For me, it’s ok to unblock, just dont send a friend request.Unblocking him will make it easier for him to see your posts. Since you’re still in nc, dont reply..Continue the routine you started during nc too, dont stop improving yourself even after nc..
jinna

November 5, 2016 at 11:46 am

…
Jinna

November 5, 2016 at 5:59 am

hllo..
Amor..
after liking my profile pic on facebook.then his dp was kind of “love you only you” then nexy day he unblocked me.Today at mid night he sent me a msg not any words he said but emojies of sadness.on the basis of above all the activity by him..and the text by him..
now what to do?? second nc period will be complete on around after 5-7 days. should i rply or not ?? mssg is yet unseen by him..
suggest..
Jinna

November 4, 2016 at 2:43 pm

hello..
are u sure sir? To unblock him ?bcz i have no idea that DP was for me or not? …but He unblocked me after two months approx…. the gap of nc duration after 8-9 day will be of two months. He is like a child. Now i dont know what to do with him …?? but this time m not going for convince to him. tell me one more thing if he will text then i should reply?… plz suggest
jinna

November 4, 2016 at 9:24 am

hello..
are u sure sir? To unblock him ?bcz i have no idea that DP was for me or not? …but He unblocked me after two months approx…. the gap of nc duration after 8-9 day will be of two months. He is like a child. Now i dont know what to do with him …?? but this time m not going for convince to him. tell me one more thing if he will text then i should reply?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 3, 2016 at 10:30 pm

Hi Jinna,

You can unblock him but you can’t send a request to him, because that would trigger a conversation which you won’t answer which will make him confused.. Just continue on improving yourself. How many days are you in no contact now?

Victoria

November 2, 2016 at 1:27 pm

Hi

I broke up with my ex boyfriend January this year. I made a big mistake of asking him to come back and even went to their house drunk. After months of no contact we started to talk gain – i used the tactic in this site. We actually became little more comfortable with each other texting – not daily though. I was even able to get him to meet me for an event last week. Although he mentioned about girls – one he met on tinder and another friend but he said he is not dating anyone exclusive yet – i didnt even ask him of that. He also texted me photos of him during halloween, although it seems like most of the time it is a reply to my message. in my messages to him i made sure that i am not being friendly and he was not resisting it. But this week i invited him for 2nd meet up twice and he said no on both and it felt that i needed to tell him that i want to get to know more of him and i want to start a new via SMS since he is saying nos. He responded that his is not interested on dating me again and he doesn’t have feelings. He also said he is sure January and he is more so sure now. And that its better for him to be upfront and honest so i can move on quickly.

What do you think? I know i made another mistake texting him for second chance.. i think that made him feel off. I still like him but I’m losing faith already as this is the 3rd time (broke up, beg after break up, sms to ask for second chance lately) he said he is not interested on me. I need help…

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 3, 2016 at 2:50 pm

Hi Victoria,

you need to move on because he said it straight. He doesnt want to go back with you, and he can see you’re trying.. Unless, you’re just really being friendly, it’s ok to keep talking but of course dont expect much.. Because at the back of his mind, maybe you’re still hoping and all he wants right now is for you to move on

Jennifer

November 1, 2016 at 3:38 pm

So yesterday my ex and I texted to know how we were doing( 21 days of the NC rule). It was a good simple conversation.What should I do now? I feel that more days are passing , he’s moving on more…
ugh I hate this
help me

Jennifer

November 3, 2016 at 9:57 pm

hi guys
ive been trying to post my comment this whole day, it’s not working?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 5, 2016 at 2:15 pm

Hi Jennifer,

sorry about that. They were coming in, I just havent reached them yet.. I think you should wait a week before trying them..If you already sent one, that’s ok..
Jennifer

November 3, 2016 at 6:04 pm

Heyy
sorry for some reason my comment couldn’t get on the website…
Should I wait one week before texting him or should I start texting him right away with the new rules of texting? (the last time we texted was monday october 31). Should my first text be a*good reminder text* or something else? I’m kinda confuse on this for my situation (good reminder VS texting an boyfriend, the new rule). By the way is it normal that i’m scared? I don’t wanna ruin my chances… I know it’s gonna be a process. But how can I rebuild the rapport? How can I rebuilt the attraction slowly?

please help me

thank you for your help, it has helped me a lot
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 5, 2016 at 2:16 pm

Hi Jennifer,

sorry about that. They were coming in, I just havent reached them yet.. I think you should wait a week before trying them..If you already sent one, that’s ok..
Jennifer

November 3, 2016 at 3:18 pm

Hey team do you see my old comment?
Jennifer

November 3, 2016 at 1:46 pm

(Can’t see my comment)

I can’t find my comment so Im rewriting it again sorry …

Should i wait one week before texting him or should i start texting him right away with the new rules of texting? (The last time we texted it was on monday)
Should my first text be a “good reminder text” or something else? Im kinda confuse on this ( good reminder text VS the new rules of texting)
By the way, is it normal that im a bit scared? I don’t wanna ruin my chances …
Please reply as soon as possible
Jennifer

November 3, 2016 at 11:33 am

I can’t find my comment so Im rewriting it again sorry …

Should i wait one week before texting him or should i start texting him right away with the new rules of texting? (The last time we texted it was on monday)
Should my first text be a “good reminder text” or something else? Im kinda confuse on this ( good reminder text VS the new rules of texting)
By the way, is it normal that im a bit scared? I don’t wanna ruin my chances …
Please reply as soon as possible
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 2, 2016 at 5:38 pm

Hi Jennifer,

ok, so you mean, you broke nc at 21 days and then started talking to him.. so, now you’re on the texting phase to build apport.. check this one:
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

ash

November 1, 2016 at 2:44 am

My ex and i have dated for 6 years before he broke up with me in march…right away he had sex with another girl and right after regretted it and came back to me, i decided to give him another chance cause i love him, but it really hurt me cause i was the only girl he has ever slept with and he was my first too…well during the summer we decided to be together again…but then he broke up with me again on September 1st his 3rd night being away at college. He has now transferred away to college and i still attend college at home. we are both 20. I have just found out 2 days ago that he has been sleeping with an 18 year old that goes to his college with him (shes a freshman, me an him are juniors). she lost her virginity to him, which now i feel like she is going to be super attached to him even though they have only been talking since September 10th. He started hooking up with her 9 days after breaking up with me. the entire time he has been talking to her, he has been texting me on and off like how he misses me and does still love me…..since i confronted him about the other girl, at first he denied liking her or even knowing her, Pissed off and i was probably wrong and out of anger i contacted the girl and sent her all the messages he has been sending me the entire time they have been talking and she ended it with him (but i feel like shes going to forgive him if he proves to her he hasnt texted me since i sent her everything, that scares me), but now he is saying he really does like her and i ruined it for him and hes upset…but if he really likes her.. why did he still text me saying that he loves me and misses me and he says he can barely get over me and thinks about me everyday…. meanwhile hes been sleeping with this other girl. i dont understand. we have known eachother since we were 12… we were eachothers first everything. I feel so hurt and lost. he told me today he is mad at me for telling the girl he still texts me and ruining things for him with her… but it wasnt fair to me and the girl. him doing that to us both. The girl told me that he mentioned me sometimes to her and that they got in a fight two weeks ago cause she caught him texting me and he told her “shes texts me so i feel like i have to answer her back, but ill stop”..but he obviously didnt stop and he continued to text me behind her back…. i really am not sure what to do and i really need help. can someone please tell me why he was saying he still loved me and missed me while talking to this girl and he denied being with her, but once i found out the truth, thats when he started to say he does like her? and why does he break up with me and get with someone right away…what if he really does like her? have i lost him for good…

ash

November 2, 2016 at 3:11 am

I still love him and I don’t know what to do.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 3, 2016 at 1:27 pm

if you really still want to try..at least dont be his girl on the side.. you may have been the first one, but they’re together.. if you keep interacting with him now, it’s like you’re ok with the situation..try doing 45 days and then just focus in yourself
ash

November 1, 2016 at 2:48 am

i also forgot to mention that… when he came home for the weekend from college..he was texting me saying he misses me and was also texting her saying he missed her cause she was still up at the school…what the heck.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2016 at 7:43 pm

Hi Ash,

do you really still want to try after that?

anom

November 1, 2016 at 2:26 am

i need help

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2016 at 7:14 pm

Hi Anon,

when and why did you break up?

Jennifer

October 31, 2016 at 10:19 pm

Hi Team

Thanks as ever for all these pages of advice and support – they’ve really kept me going!

I’m coming to the end of NC – one week to go! I’ve followed all the advice – taking classes, volunteering, reconnecting with old friends, started exercising, lost weight, been on a few dates with other people and really worked on my confidence and positivity. My only problem is that I still feel I’m a little obsessed with my ex. I still think about him all day and get panicky when I start to think about how I’ll cope if I don’t get him back. I still miss him so much it hurts! Will he be able to sense this in me? And is there anything I can do in my last week to work on this?

Thanks so much!

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2016 at 6:00 pm

Hi Jennifer,

it’s ok to think about him. Just acknowledge it and then don’t dwell in it. Just remind yourself that it’s normal. Don’t overthink.

amy

October 31, 2016 at 3:10 pm

so i need advise, i have been in a perfect relationship for 9 months, we was planning a future together and never even had a crossed word or one argument. one day when i had been feeling low and wanted a family day out (he has a son) his mum said she was coming (very interfering family) and i blew and said cant we just have one day to ourselves and said i cant do it anymore, he said, please dont say that you dont mean it , guess i was wanting a reaction and wanting him to put our family first and not his. the next day( its now been 8 days) we talked and he told his mum we was moving in togther as he had been offered a council house, he was then quite cold with me that night so i said id go home and give him time, he said he needed some time- i said you shuld know what you want and its obviously not me and went home!the next day he said my head is not letting me and i cant and dont want it but ive been struggling as it was so perfect and he cant not find a reason why. then a couple of days later (on the weekend) he called me at 5 am- he had been out drinking( something he had never done in 9 months we was together becuase he has his little boy on weekends) he said he knocked at my door after a night out and i wasnt there , so at 5am he went home charged his phone and called me, i was at a friends and jumped in the car and met him- we had sex. the next day it went back to him not bothering with me, i had an episode with my diabetes and called him before going unconcious and him coming to mine and finding me this way- he was cold and uncaring and angry at me (although he said after the break up to call him if it happens and i need him to help as he is only 2 mins away) i was upset and unwell and told him i didnt want his pity and i dont want him there and to go- i gave him a card id written for him which basically said that my feelings hadnt changed, him and his little boy were my whole world and i understand that moving intogether may have scared him so i will give him the space he needs and maybe we can go for dinner once he is settled in his new home. that was yesterday…. help!

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2016 at 12:32 pm

Hi Amy,

if he was scared of you moving in, then you should show that you’re not interested in it anymore for now.. that you have your own life..do you want to try the advice above? Do the no contact rule

Kaile

October 30, 2016 at 10:38 pm

Hi, me and my boyfriend were together for 3.5 years. (Im 18 and he’s 20.) We recently went on a break but kept contact and I tried everything to be with him. He was confusing, he cried and poured his heart out. We were together all of high school for me, and now it’s my freshman year of college. It is his junior year. When we talked he said things between us have been going exactly how he wanted but he needed to go make sure there was no one else out there. He continued to text me for two weeks and at first we talked like normal and it was great. We actually connected for once, I thought we were making ground. Then, he started being rude and mean to me. I remained nothing but nice. He told me he didn’t want me to wait and we couldn’t talk anymore but then the next two days continued to talk to me. The next day I was fed up and said that we needed to talk one last time to have him hear what I had to say and he said he would text me within the week. I ended up contacting him and it caused a huge fight between us. Then, we texted and he told me I wasn’t allowed to go to the same party as him. I of course wasn’t going to not go because he asked me not too. (Also, any guy that would text me he told them they couldn’t). That night he brought a girl I know he’s been texting. When they arrived they seemed embarrassed as we just broke up two weeks ago, so they both look dumb. He said he’s not trying to look for a relationship but brought another girl. The next day after I didn’t say a word to him at the party, he texted me telling me I had my chance to talk and that he was blocking my number. I messaged him on Facebook and told him all I had to say and he said that he has to keep being mean to me to get his point across…. I told him that it’s not true. He said that we were unhappy (Which was untrue as a couple days before he told me he was) and that it was unhealthy which it was. We both need space to think about things and actually not talk for once. But, I’m concerned about this new girl. I think he’s doing it to make me mad. I asked if we could speak in a couple weeks and he said yes. Then never replied. I’m not sure what to do. Every time we talk he changes what he has to say and says he’s confused. If it was really over and he really doesn’t wanna be together like he says, why does he want to talk in a few weeks? Thanks for taking time out to read this. PS. I explained to him I’m not waiting around and ill be fine without him.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 31, 2016 at 11:34 pm

Hi Kaile,

if he just talked to her after the break up, she’s probably a rebound. Since he never replied, don’t expect much.. Are you going to try the no contact rule?

Dee

October 29, 2016 at 11:08 pm

our main fights were for my dog bc im very excessive w my dog. he also finds i m not very neat especially with my car. that i dont exercise and that many times im in my own world…theses are the things he wanted me to change….
as for the NC rule, i want to try it but i dont know if its too late since its been already 2months from the brakeup n also that he has my stuff at his house…what if he s to make one last call just for me to got pick them up?
and the truth is i m not sure if he doesnt tell me to get them if i should offer again on my own..bc i do feel we have some kind of connection this way..i feel that if i take them i kinda help my ex to realise its a done deal and get over me faster..? what should be my plan?

Dee

November 2, 2016 at 10:33 am

hey… so i figured if he calls for my stuff n i dont answer he can always text me n i ll know it was about that right? so…yes i’m gonna try the NC ..it’s been 2weeks since his last call but my question is what if he doesnt try calling me back for another 2 weeks..so then its makes a month without him realising thats smth up..and is it from that point on that i start counting the NC rule?
also you mentionned that i might get in then friendzone wich really confused me…bc it s smth that never crossed my mind and also scared me ..bc i’m thinking is it from what i wrote that u realised that i might been heading that way?…
please i need help..i wanna have a second chance in this relationship..i feel that we are supposed to end up with eachother..
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 3, 2016 at 3:12 pm

th e count starts from thr first day you stopped initiating contact and.stopped replying too.. You have to focus in improving yourself during and after no contact..
There’s a risk of being friendzoned because you were always present.. There was no time to improve amd space to let him miss you.. He has always seen you like how he has seen you when he broke up with you..
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 31, 2016 at 8:35 pm

Well, you can talk to him about your things during the no contact rule.. As long as it’s only about that.. The no contact rule is not just about ignoring him. The most important thing is that you improve yourself, start a new routine and have your own life..

if you don’t choose the no contact rule, of course, you’re free to do that. There’s a risk of being friendzoned too, but think about it..Think about what would help you more.

Dee

October 29, 2016 at 5:24 pm

..our main fights were for my dog ( i am very excessive w my dog). the other is that i m not very neat, especially with my car.. that i dont exercise and that many times i m in my own world…
i wanted to try the no contact rule but i dont know if its too late for that bc its been already 2months..another thing that is not in my favor is that i know that in november he s gonna be very busy w his work so he might not even realise of what is going on..then i figured he might only get vulnerable around mid december during the hollidays..if nothing happens there..then maybe my chances are finished?…so as for the no contact..because i have my stuff there if he calls how can i not respond? maybe he s just calling for me to go pick them up?..so im kinda stuck here bc i dont know if i should go get them and then do the no contact..or if i should leave them like that i keep a connection with him and maybe even make it harder for him to forget me..? what should be my plan?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 31, 2016 at 8:35 pm

Well, you can talk to him about your things during the no contact rule.. As long as it’s only about that.. The no contact rule is not just about ignoring him. The most important thing is that you improve yourself, start a new routine and have your own life..

if you don’t choose the no contact rule, of course, you’re free to do that. There’s a risk of being friendzoned too, but think about it..Think about what would help you more.

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