The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Melinda

October 21, 2016 at 12:52 am

Hello.
so I have a couple queries not on this particular subject but on the matter of whether or not my ex boyfriend wants me back. I’ve done the NC rule but he was the first to initiate contact. He has a girlfriend and he got with her three months after our break up (He broke it off). We were together for about 2 and a bit years, so I’m assuming she is just a rebound with what I’ve read on your website. After not talking for a couple months he texted me and said he wanted to have lunch. still being ‘In love’ with him I couldn’t help but to say yes. we’ve been out to lunch almost once a week since the first and he is always paying for my meals. He has told me he misses me once or twice during and always has an upset look every time we meet. Because I drive to where he lives (which I don’t mind because the area he lives in is amazing) he wants me to pick him up and go the lunch place together and when I drop him off he always asks if I want to come in for coffee although we just had lunch. He gives me long hugs upon our goodbyes. I am just so confused and I have no idea what to do. The last time we met up I worked enough courage up to ask him how him and his new gf is doing and he said she gets on his nerves and he said he was thinking about breaking it off with her soon. We text pretty much every day and when he says goodnight it ends with a ‘x’. He’s current gf doesn’t like the amount of texting we do and there has been a number of occasions where I, myself have said that we should stop talking for the sake of the gf and him and he has always replied with “no I still want to talk to you and she (the gf) just has to deal with it”. I’m so confused and need advice. Please help me

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 22, 2016 at 5:17 pm

Hi Melinda,

he misses you but I think you should stop letting the situation make him comfortable as it is.. because honestly, he will not break up with her if there’s no need to

Cita

October 20, 2016 at 6:53 pm

My boyfriend of 6 months just broke up with me. Things were going really well & we always got along for the most part. He even said himself 90% of the time we are good. The past 2 weeks or so we started arguing more & there’s been a lot of tension cause we didn’t really resolve anything. Then we had a huge fight & decided to take a break for 2 weeks to figure out if we want to stay together or not. In the break he continued calling me as usual but we agreed not to talk about our issues until we see each other next week but last night he brought things up and we got in an argument. He got really heated and I tried to diffuse things but he is very hard to talk to when he is upset like that. In the midst of everything he blurted out that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. I can tell he meant it. I said fine and he asked if there was anything I had to say but I told him I can’t talk to him when he is that way which got him even more upset & he told me not to try to change his mind (which I didn’t), I just hung up. He called right back and left a voicemail saying that he will give me the money he owes me (something I had put on my credit card for him) whenever I come get my stuff and that we can be friends if I want. I didn’t call back and I am just not sure what to do. I know this site will suggest 30 days no contact BUT i honestly feel like if I do that he will be gone forever. He has a huge ego and pride. He brags about how in his past he is able to disconnect quickly from women and he admits he used to date around a lot before he got in a relationship with me. So I feel like he will just revert back to his old self & that I will lose him forever. What do you think about that? Also, even if I attempt the no contact rule I would still need to get my things from his house and give him his key back. He lives an hour away so we only saw each other weekends do to work and he wouldn’t like if I showed up unannounced so I would need to speak to him in order to come get my things. Please help, I don’t know what to do. Thanks.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 22, 2016 at 3:16 pm

Hi Cita,

so, do you plan to keep on talking to him instead? The reason why it’s better to just do no contact is because it can help you have space to cool down, time to heal and improve yourself, to avoid being friendzoned and to avoid loking like you’re chasing him

Jennifer

October 20, 2016 at 11:39 am

Hey can we talk over email? Because im shy to write about some stuff on this wall. If Yes , i would be really glad 🙂
Thank you
Xena hope

October 20, 2016 at 3:13 am

hey , My ex broke up with me because I decided not to get an abortion so since he thought that I don’t care about his situation that he’s in or that he’s not ready to be a father and feels like he was being forced to take care of a baby he broke up with me what can I do to get him back? do you think i have a chance at him coming back? I’ve been doing the no contact for about a month

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 21, 2016 at 8:55 pm

hi Xena,

Shouldnt he be the one more concerned on you because you’re pregnant? Him being like that should be your reason to see how much he’s not ready to be responsible for you and your baby.. getting him back is not the best option right now because he doesnt want to own up to his actions.. There is a chance if he realizes he made a mistake but you have to be honest with yourself..is it really just because he’s not ready to be a father or it’s because of something else?

Lexi

October 20, 2016 at 2:53 am

Hey so tomorrow is the start of my NC period, but before I found this page I texted him in regards to giving his stuff back and he said “you can throw them out if you want, I have too many clothes already lol”
I’m not really sure what that means? If it’s positive or negative?

Lexi

October 20, 2016 at 2:57 am

Also we’re still friends on Facebook and on snapchat should I avoid posting things in the no contact period?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 21, 2016 at 8:50 pm

Hi Lexi,

dont put too much meaning into it..It just means he doesnt need what he left in your place.. and yes, you have to stay friends and be active in posting in social media..

Bianca

October 19, 2016 at 10:59 pm

My boyfriend and I were together for 7 years. We are both 28. We are each other’s first loves. Throughout our relationship I told him that I felt like I couldn’t be “one and done”- I’ve never really dated other people and I had this idea that I should have that experience. We revisited this a couple times but I told him that I love him more than my desire to go and see what else is out there. We did not have many problems in our relationship, in the beginning we were everyone’s ideal couple. We felt so lucky to be with each other-the kind of love people hope to find-we had that. We told each other we fall more and more in love as the time went on.

This year I was finishing grad school and we were talking about moving in. I started getting apprehensive about taking this step forward and those old feelings about not wanting to be one and done started resurfacing. In early July, I told him I wanted to take a break to become more independent and be open to dating other people. I told him I wasn’t sure how this was going to work because I love him so much and I wasn’t going to fall out of love with him and he said so “it’s just physical?” After a week or two we talked about it again and I told him I felt like I needed to work on myself-there were things I was not happy with with myself and I stopped growing as a person and letting him help me. I told him I understood the risk on taking this time apart but if anyone could come back from this it’s us and I believe in us.

We spent the next two months apart and didn’t talk. We have the same friends and ended up going to a music festival for the weekend in late August. This was the first time we saw each other. It was nice to see him again, we caught up and acted pretty much the same -without all the intimacy. After the festival I asked him how he was feeling about everything and he said he felt like us not being together was good and he wanted to move forward. We met in person to talk about this and had a very emotional conversation- the last two months did not feel like we were broken up because I believed we both thought we could get through this BUT after this conversation it was a real breakup. He said he was brokenhearted after seeing how much he could hurt me. He thought I was coming back because I was afraid and that wasn’t fair to him. He said “you knew the risk you were taking”. I told him that I didn’t really understand the risk because I believed in us so much. But the feeling of really losing him put things in perspective, this break wasn’t worth losing him.

I told him I felt like I needed to work on myself and be open to other people but it was because I wanted to give us the best chance for the future. I was afraid that if I didn’t do this I would have these feelings later in life like when we moved in or got married. I wanted to make it clear to him that I always believed in us and that was the only consistent thing in all this craziness. We texted the next day and met up one last time. He eventually told me he was seeing someone because he thought that’s what were were both doing and that he couldn’t get back with me because he needs to “see this through” with this other person. He feels like they have a real connection. He started dating her weeks after we first parted ways in July. He said he took a week break from her to think about his options and ultimately decided he wanted to continue dating her. I’ve seen him three times since. It is hard because we have the same friends. The first time I saw him at an event, his family was there and his sister hugged me and cried, saying they were praying for us. He acted very cold and distant. The next two times were at social events. One time he was trying to make jokes and engage in small talk. The next time I didn’t even look at him and just said goodbye when I was leaving. I have also had dinner with his best friend, who is also my friend. His girlfriend said he has been wanting to talk to me so I asked him to dinner.

I do see the benefit in being alone-I’ve been working on myself like I originally set out to do. I’ve been boxing since July, spending more quality time with friends and family. I’m sure I could make it work with someone else-but he is the only one I want to spend my life with.

I know he is the love of my life. But right now he is set on dating this other person-he isn’t a typical “guy” so it’s hard for me to feel like he is doing this out of pride or ego and the fact that he started dating someone so quickly makes me worried, like is she “his person”? When we had talked in early September (he’s been dating her since mid/late July) he said he thought this was a rebound but after meditating on it for a week without speaking to her, he doesn’t feel like it is a rebound. I feel like he is being very practical by saying he needs to move forward without holding on to the idea of us but how practical can you be when it comes to love. How can you move on to someone else weeks after a 7 year relationship? I told him like I feel there is a disconnect between his heart and his head. He is also very good at controlling his thoughts so I can definitely see him pushing away those thoughts when he misses me. He told his best friend he misses, cares and loves me but he isn’t going to “drop her”. He did say that a couple weeks ago he was hanging out with her and for the first time he got this weird feeling while hanging with her, like he really missed me. I try not to hold on to these things because they are just snippets into constantly changing emotions.

I have a couple of questions: What do you think our chances are of getting back together? What do you think about him and this new relationship? Since he is dating, I am wondering if I should too before I start trying to get him back? What articles or books do you recommend? If I get the recoveryex book does it explain the NC rule?

I’ve never experienced heartbreak before and I know I am getting stronger and can appreciate love and our love in a new real way.
I really appreciate you reading this is and answering in advance. xoxo

Bianca

October 21, 2016 at 8:40 pm

Thanks for replying! I’ll look at those resources. What do you think about him and this new relationship? I read the article on how to tell if it is a rebound and I am still not sure if he is in a RR. What do you think our chances are?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 23, 2016 at 11:11 am

it can be.. because he’s not sure with you anymore..So, instead of risking investing time with you, he wanted to try with the new one instead…
Bianca

October 21, 2016 at 4:46 pm

Hi, it says my comment is awaiting moderation- do I need to do anything? or does that just mean it’s waiting to be looked at? Thanks!
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 21, 2016 at 5:44 pm

Hi BiAnca,

Yes, it means I haven’t reached your comment yey.. Dont be in a rebound realtionship..Yes, the recovery book has more explanation.. I think you should check this one:
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)
and this one:
The No Contact Rule (Version 2.0)

Suzan

October 19, 2016 at 2:03 pm

Hi,

My boyfriend and I broke up 2 months ago ,after 8 years of relationship. After the breakup I din’t contact him but after 2 or 3 weeks he started to write and call me. In that time I was in a phase when I started to accept the idea that everything has ended, so i said that i don’t want to talk meet or anything.One day we met occasionally in the gym and he started to talk and said that he still loves me and thinks that we should try again to make things better. Even though I was strong those days, somehow he convinced me that we should try one more time, but he said that we should do take this slowly. After talking several times those days he started to ignore me and changed the behavior. I stopped the contact again and after 2 weeks he started to write me again. The same thing was repeated three times and each time that I started to talk for the relationship and how can we improve he always started to ignore me. The last time that we meet was 18 days ago and he said that everything is over and it’s not worthy to try anymore. He kept mentioning things from the past when we had some disagreements. I didn’t talk much because I wasn’t feeling well but when I went home I wrote him and he answered normally like nothing happened. Than i realized that I can’t continue like this so i stopped the communication. After 4 days his grandfather passed away so I expressed my condolences and I sad that he can call me anytime if he isn’t feeling well. He said thank you very much. This was the last communication that we had 12 days ago, because from that time I started the NC and Im trying my best to heal myself this time, because it’s been a really long time that we were together and it’s difficult for me to accept this . What surprises me the most is that I still have him on Snapchat and he keeps checking my pictures every time that I post (even though I never check his pictures there). After all this time is there any possibilities that I can win him back because I don’t want things to end like this. I still love him and I want him in my life.

Sorry for the long post. I hope you can advise me on this!!
Thank you.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 20, 2016 at 11:56 pm

Hi Suzan,

There’s a good chance that you will get back together because you had a long history. But you didn’t say why you broke up, why did you break up?

suzan

October 19, 2016 at 7:53 am

Hi,

Me and my boyfriend broke up after 8 years of relationship. After the breakup i didn’t call or text him for 1 month. after that he started to write and call me and trying to make things better. One day we meet in gym coincidentally and we started to talk. we stayed together for 2 hours and he said that he still loved me and wants me back, but this time he said we should take things slowly. After that we spoke sometimes and again after some time he started to ignore me . I stopped the communication and after two weeks he started to write me again. The same thing was repeated three times, he always started the communication and as soon as I begun to write he will start to ignore me. The last time that I wrote him was around 12 days ago because his grandfather died, I expressed condolences and I said that if he is not feeling good he can call me, and he responded only thank you very much. It’s been 12 days since we didn’t had any communication. I still have him as a friend on Snap-chat and he is still checking whatever I’m posting, that is very confusing because the last time that we meet (around 18 days ago), he said that everything is over and he doesn’t want me in his life, this time he was speaking only about the bad memories that we had together.Me in the other hand I din’t know what to say. Now I don’t know if I have any chances left to win him back because I don’ want things to end this way.

Sorry for the long post, I hope you will find time to advice me on this.

Thank you!

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 20, 2016 at 11:56 pm

Hi Suzan,

There’s a good chance that you will get back together because you had a long history. But you didn’t say why you broke up, why did you break up?

Sam

October 19, 2016 at 12:49 am

Hi,

So I posted a comment, but I forgot which article I posted on and I can’t find it and I really need advice. So me and my boyfriend broke up a few weeks ago. We have been on and off with talking. He says he still loves me but is very adament about not getting back together. He told me to stop contacting him last week and then a few days later he texted me asking if im doing okay. I have so confused. I love him and I WANT him back in my life.I feel like I have tried everything. Every time we meet up to talk or text, we end up fighting. I do not want to be his friend. I want to be his girlfriend. I don’t know what to do. I REALLY NEED HELP

Sam

October 20, 2016 at 8:30 pm

Yeah I am, its been 4 days and I really wanna talk to him. I am afraid he will forget about me and move on. I honestly just want to text him. I feel like nothing I do will make him come back. What if I never get to talk to him again.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 22, 2016 at 3:37 pm

Then make him not forget by being active in social media.. For me, it would be better if he forgot the old you, and then be surprised with how much you’ve changed.. Read this one and aim to be like that during and after nc..
The Ungettable Girl
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 20, 2016 at 7:53 pm

Hi Sam,

I’ll just paste my answer there here ok?
Hi sam,

are you ready to stick to no contact rule this time and focus in improving yourself?

Ashley

October 18, 2016 at 2:40 pm

Hi.

I love my boyfriend for who he is. He has so many qualities I find special that I haven’t found in any other guy in my life. He’s gentle, calm, laid back, and I have never had to worry about him cheating or lying to me, ever.
We have been together for about a year, but we’ve fought throughout the whole thing.

When we first started talking, I was upset because he was telling me verbally how much he wanted to be with me, but I was always the one having to make plans and do everything. It felt like I was the only one really trying and that wanted to have a relationship come out of it. I told him if he wanted me to call him my boyfriend and date him exclusively, he needed to start making me feel wanted and taking me on dates and asking me to hang out. So for about three months (with help/ideas from my friend… my boyfriend had never had a girlfriend before and I felt like he didn’t know how this was supposed to work) he took me on dates, took me out with his friends and to his family functions, and spent time with me. During this time period, we were fighting because I got incredibly hurt/upset over things he did on accident (talking about other girls to the guys right in front of me, pulling his phone out on dates, making jokes about my body, etc.). When I got hurt, it wasn’t just a simple “hey sweetie can you please not do that right now?” I made it a huge conversation, where I made him explain why he did it and what he was thinking and blahblahblah. Basically, I way overreacted to things he was doing on accident because I was insecure and felt unwanted since he wasn’t, in my opinion, putting forth much effort without me or my friend telling him exactly what to do.
I do think I had a right to be bothered or upset about some of those things, but I should have just nicely and calmly asked him to stop or told him it bothered me, and then had that be the end of the conversation, because he was doing them on accident without thinking and hasn’t had a girlfriend since high school, in a relationship that wasn’t really anything. After a few months of him taking me on dates and spending time with me (even though we had to tell him how to do it), I agreed to be his girlfriend. He was really excited about it and seemed like he was crazy in love with me.

About six months in, he stopped doing anything nice for me at all ever. I believe this is because so many times when he tried to do something nice I would get angry or upset over small things, and end up ruining the time together. I know he hates conflict, so I think he started to get scared if he spent time with me that would happen. This only made things worse, because it made me feel even more unwanted and unloved, so I fought over things even worse. It was frustrating at the time because it felt like I was saying just take me on dates and spend time with me and he wouldn’t and it felt like he didn’t respect my feelings, but looking back I don’t think I would have asked someone to hang out if they had gotten upset over all of my accidents either.

We are a year in right now, and two weeks ago I put my foot down and said “you haven’t been taking me on dates or asking me to hang out like I told you I needed. Until you do that, you and I are on a ‘break’”. And he just told me repeatedly he’s too busy to spend time with me right now. He isn’t, he spends tons of time with his friends and family, but that’s what he keeps saying. He is currently asking me to hang out about once a week, so my plan was to take the time he does give me, be the best/sweetest version of myself and not get mad or upset over anything (I’ve realized those things weren’t a big deal and I took them way too personal; that they were just rude, but nothing that I should have made into a huge fight or conversation).

I’m hoping over time he will start to enjoy that company, and will want to spend time with me again but I’m scared he won’t make an effort to take me on dates since he didn’t the first time we started talking. It feels like we are starting over, but I don’t want him to not do the things that make me feel good again, just so I can get insecure and feel unwanted again and then be super sensitive to things that aren’t a huge deal. We both stopped wanting to kiss each other about two months ago, we don’t say “I love you” anymore, and he is very short in conversation with me which has made me feel very alone and ignored.

I really want this to work, but I’m scared a no contact period will make everything worse. I feel like we never had a strong enough foundation from the start for him to miss me, because I was fighting right from the beginning to get what I wanted instead of just nicely asking and being patient. I feel like I need to just spend time with him whenever he gives it to me and be super sweet during that and make sure I don’t get upset at all. But I’m confused as to where this puts me on this list of where to start and what to do.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 18, 2016 at 5:13 pm

Hi Ashley,

wait.. so you’re not on a break anymore because you will be hanging out again right?

Jenna

October 18, 2016 at 12:35 am

Hi I wrote a comment on another page but I didn’t get a response:(

I had neutral responses every time I’ve texted him ( 3 conversations ). The second time I was texting more words than he was. He was only texting 3 or 4 word answers. The 3rd time we texted i sent a funny meme that would remind him of me he just said that his apartment was so cold. And his 2 responses were 30 min apart he was the last to text he sent haha. The first 2 conversations were about my brother having a seizure. We haven’t text since Friday midmorning. Sunday evening he text me that he hoped my brother was feeling better an hour later i said thank you. Nothing after that. Was he just checking in to see how my brother was or was I on his mind? He dated for 2.5years he’s 33 I’m 28. What should I do? He responds but doesn’t encourage conversation. Do I give it more time? Do the tide theory? My birthday is in 1 week I don’t know if he’ll say anything? we also might bump into each other out. Last weekend we bumped into each other he was so flirty smiling ear to ear. He acted completely different from how he’s texting.

Jenna

November 7, 2016 at 1:55 pm

I just don’t understand why he’d be texting me and meeting up with me if he didn’t want to be with me or what’s even the point of him telling me he still loves me. why not just say no it seems like he just leads me on or wants me to wait for him? how do I show him I’m moving on? besides no contact?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 7, 2016 at 9:35 pm

more probably because he likes the company but doesnt want the stress of being in a relationship.. You have to put more time in your other activities than him
Jenna

November 6, 2016 at 7:47 pm

Hi amor

So last Saturday he kept texting me smit Halloween and what I was going to be i was changing the subject and he asked me 5 times then said ohh ok sounds good bc I was making him sweat it out. I sent him a picture and he sent one back. At 3am after a night out he wrote me well I hope you had a good night. I wrote thanks boo. The next day i texted him and asked if he wanted to go to our favorite spot for soup. He agreed. We met it was so fun we laughed for hours. We ended up watching walking dead at his place together and then fell asleep. I asked him if I should get going he said no. We texted the next few days. Mid week he was short but the next day he was Texting me the pet name he calls me. I didn’t heard anything on Friday so I text him today we talked and I asked if we were watching walking dead together tomorrow he said he wasn’t sure bc he needed to work on his resume and go to his parents. I proceeded to ask if last week meant anything to him. He said yes but he isn’t sure about us going back out. He said it’s hard not to act like we always did with one another and he really cares about me. I asked him what’s holding himself back from me. He said he didn’t know. I told him I still loved him and missed him. He said i love you too but I haven’t been single in a long time idk if i need to just be single until I figure my shit out. I asked him if that meant until he found a job (he’s graduating in December) he said ya that’s part of it. I said you’re scared he said i guess. That was the end of the conversation. I’m going to do no contact for at least a week. I’m not going to wish him a happy veterans day. He needs to think I’m done. What do I do if he contacts me? Ignore him for 3 days like the book says? Help. I felt like I was making progress him…. technically I have he went from absolutely we can never be together to idk and he needs more time. What is your take from it? I can’t help but think if he really wanted to be with me he would but then again I broke up with him and we have just been talking for a little less than a month. HELP!
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 7, 2016 at 1:53 am

It’s not looking good.. It’s either he will think you just really want a relationship and he’s just not ready or he’ll take a chance because you’re drifting away..

well, you have to be less available..and look like you’ve accepted his decision.. You can try that one week nc and then go back to talking after but he has to see you’re moving on.. Make the interactions fun but focus more in your other activities from now on.. dont rell him that you’re moving on now, just do it..
Jenna

November 5, 2016 at 10:07 pm

Hi amor

So last Saturday he kept texting me smit Halloween and what I was going to be i was changing the subject and he asked me 5 times then said ohh ok sounds good bc I was making him sweat it out. I sent him a picture and he sent one back. At 3am after a night out he wrote me well I hope you had a good night. I wrote thanks boo. The next day i texted him and asked if he wanted to go to our favorite spot for soup. He agreed. We met it was so fun we laughed for hours. We ended up watching walking dead at his place together and then fell asleep. I asked him if I should get going he said no. We texted the next few days. Mid week he was short but the next day he was Texting me the pet name he calls me. I didn’t heard anything on Friday so I text him today we talked and I asked if we were watching walking dead together tomorrow he said he wasn’t sure bc he needed to work on his resume and go to his parents. I proceeded to ask if last week meant anything to him. He said yes but he isn’t sure about us going back out. He said it’s hard not to act like we always did with one another and he really cares about me. I asked him what’s holding himself back from me. He said he didn’t know. I told him I still loved him and missed him. He said i love you too but I haven’t been single in a long time idk if i need to just be single until I figure my shit out. I asked him if that meant until he found a job (he’s graduating in December) he said ya that’s part of it. I said you’re scared he said i guess. That was the end of the conversation. I’m going to do no contact for at least a week. I’m not going to wish him a happy veterans day. He needs to think I’m done. What do I do if he contacts me? Ignore him for 3 days like the book says? Help. I felt like I was making progress him…. technically I have he went from absolutely we can never be together to idk and he needs more time. What is your take from it? I can’t help but think if he really wanted to be with me he would but then again I broke up with him and we have just been talking for a little less than a month. HELP!
Jenna

October 26, 2016 at 3:08 am

He texts me a lot during our conversation but I initiate almost all the texts. He text me at 1215 am on my birthday but then started getting mad at me for “hitting on his friend” at a bar I was at. He was drunk texting me all mad. The next morning I said I said I wasn’t sure what he was talking about and I would never do anything to hurt him. He text back that he believed me sorry for bothering me and happy birthday. I don’t him he wasn’t bothering me and even though it doesn’t matter ive missed talking with him. He asked why doesn’t it matter? I said idk bc its a lost cause? (He had said that before) I asked if he still felt that way he said he didn’t know. (Back in late August he said yes it was and we’d never be together again) he text me later on in the day asking if I did anything on my birthday. I said yes and we talked about the movies and reminisced about our first date at the movies. The next night we texted about his job offers and how he might have to move to DC but he really wants to stay here and not move. He kept saying he didn’t want to go. We also talked about possibly grabbing coffee or our fav soup restaurant. I asked let me know if you ever want to meet up … he said ok it is soup season. I don’t really know what to do next he’s busy interviewing and with school work. Do I initiate the meet up or conversation next? He text me last Sunday then I text Monday and Tuesday both great convos. I tried to take a week break but He liked my friends Really good picture of my on Instagram Saturday morning then text me at midnight on my birthday then got crazy jealous about this hitting on his friend thing. He text me on my birthday asking what I was doing and we had the lost cause talk. Then I text him monday then we text for an hour or more. Do you think he’s not sure about us yet bc he doesn’t know where he’s going to work and might move? I told him I didn’t want him to move but I was proud of him and excited for him. I feel like I shouldn’t have asked about us being a lost cause. I feel like I should back off for a few days. I don’t want to seem too eager. We’ve been texting back and forth for 2 weeks just not consistently every single day.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 27, 2016 at 7:35 pm

Yeah, just lay low for a few days and then when you’re having a good talk again, raise the subject of meeting up..
Jenna

October 24, 2016 at 9:07 am

What do I do next?? We had a really long conversation tonight it was my birthday he sent me multiple happy birthday texts. I just don’t know what to do? Keep taking it slow? Theres been progress with texting but not calling or anything.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 25, 2016 at 8:11 pm

yep, just keep talking.. if you’ve been texting straight everyday for two weeks now, then transition to calls
Jenna

October 22, 2016 at 7:47 pm

I’ve had no contact since Tuesday about the movies its Saturday and he liked my best friends instagram pictures she posted of me today. They were great pictures and it was a night out for my birthday that’s on Sunday. I’m trying not to look into it much but we dated for 2.5 years and hes never liked any pictures my friend has posted before. This like plus the date comment i mentioned before really is making me think hes been missing me. I am going out tonight and its a potential to run into him. What does this all mean?? Does it mean hes slowly coming around?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 23, 2016 at 7:43 pm

it can mean like that..those are good signs..
Jenna

October 19, 2016 at 4:41 am

Ok so I texted him about the movies… he had quick response times … double texts long responses but some are dead end comments. He said im surprised that you’re going this late(to the movie)… probably on a date. I ended on a high note again. Does that date comment means he misses me or Am I reading too far into it? I’m going to go away for a week and do no contact like you had suggested. I’m staying busy and doing things for me. Let me know
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 20, 2016 at 4:36 pm

that’s a good plan! Take that vacation as your mini nc and yep.. him commenting on your date can be a sign that he’s missing you..
Jenna

October 18, 2016 at 6:54 pm

Hi! Sorry I hadn’t heard from you so I had texted him yesterday about a topic he is interested in. I sent a picture and he was double texting using ( !) And emojis. Making positive responses and engaging in conversation. It was 50/50 with good response time and similar word count. I left on a high note saying I was on my way to a workout class and I’d ttyl he responded ok ttyl. Should I still lay low for a week or should I text him tonight about the movies (he loves the movies and it would bring good memories)? I’m trying the tide theory and the full moon stuff I’ve read in Pro! Let me know what you think of all this?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 18, 2016 at 3:15 pm

Hi Jenna,

sorry, I haven’t reached your comment yet.. ok, I think you need to rest for a week now.. and dont forget the activities you started during nc..continue those..focus in them again for a week

maria

October 17, 2016 at 7:46 pm

I can’t find my comment that I posted yesterday. So I’m pasting it here…hope you can help me out..

“I have been going through some of the articles in this website and implemented a few things including the NC rule. My ex boyfriend didn’t contact me during that period so I made the first move. We have been exchanging texts over a week or two. His replies kinda neutral. And today he asked me not to text him because it gets hard for him (he is dating someone else in case you’re wondering..) So I really don’t know what I should do now…”

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 17, 2016 at 10:30 pm

Hi Maria,

That means he thinks you’re too forward or you’re trying to get him back and not just being friendly because he’s protecting his current relationship..

Nicole

October 17, 2016 at 7:43 pm

My on-again/off-again bf of 4 years broke up with me a week ago.
He said he no longer feels the same but still wants to be friends.
Said he just wants to be left alone and needs to self reflect.
I’m confused by all of this really, because 2-3 days before he was professing his love for me etc… I feel like he plays with my emotions.
I feel like his love is a light switch and that he really doesn’t know what he wants.
He’s been acting kind of distant but also getting mad at the most stupidest things or picking, makes comments about what I wear, my makeup.
He never complained about any of that when he met me, why now?
Also in August, I joined a gym with my BFF, because I really want to start living a healthier lifestyle.
He wasn’t exactly supportive about it.
He made comments like, ” You know you could work out anywhere, why a gym”, “Why are you working out at 9pm at night”
He try’s to work out pretty regularly but isn’t with a gym.
I even tried to get him to join a gym with me, so we could go together. Negative response.
I am also in the process of getting braces, I always wanted to straighten my teeth and its finally going to happen.
He wasn’t exactly thrilled about it.
He made comments like, ” There isn’t anything wrong with your teeth”, ” What’s with all these changes, you’re gonna leave me in a year”, You’re a 7 right now, when you’re done with these changes you’re doing, you’re gonna be a 40.
Its like he thinks I’m doing all of this for a reason, like looking for someone else, or I’m shallow.
I’m doing all of these changes for myself.
Then after all this he’s been starting fights, being short-tempered.
When I am with him, he acts like I annoy him.
I dunno what else to do, I do want him back, but I want to be as supportive and understanding as I am with him and he isn’t. I feel like he’s so negative about everything and very critical about me etc..
He pretty much treats me the way his Dad is with him. I have even told him that.
He didn’t like it.
But its true, He treating me the same way his Dad treats him, he’s never good enough etc.. I’m never good enough.
He’s 38 and I’m 31 but sometimes he acts so immature.
I have started the no contact rule, its only been a week.
I’m doing better than I thought, at first I was really mad and shock but then I’m like I haven’t done anything.
Why am I always the blame for everything?

You’re advice is needed and greatly appreciated.

-Nicole

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 18, 2016 at 7:32 pm

Hi Nicole,

he’s insecure.. you should check this one:
EBR 052: Insecure Ex Boyfriends And How To Handle Them

Ashley

October 17, 2016 at 1:42 pm

Hi.

I love my boyfriend for who he is. He has so many qualities I find special that I haven’t found in any other guy in my life. He’s gentle, calm, laid back, and I have never had to worry about him cheating or lying to me, ever.
We have been together for about a year, but we’ve fought throughout the whole thing.

When we first started talking, I was upset because he was telling me verbally how much he wanted to be with me, but I was always the one having to make plans and do everything. It felt like I was the only one really trying and that wanted to have a relationship come out of it. I told him if he wanted me to call him my boyfriend and date him exclusively, he needed to start making me feel wanted and taking me on dates and asking me to hang out. So for about three months (with help/ideas from my friend… my boyfriend had never had a girlfriend before and I felt like he didn’t know how this was supposed to work) he took me on dates, took me out with his friends and to his family functions, and spent time with me. During this time period, we were fighting because I got incredibly hurt/upset over things he did on accident (talking about other girls to the guys right in front of me, pulling his phone out on dates, making jokes about my body, etc.). When I got hurt, it wasn’t just a simple “hey sweetie can you please not do that right now?” I made it a huge conversation, where I made him explain why he did it and what he was thinking and blahblahblah. Basically, I way overreacted to things he was doing on accident because I was insecure and felt unwanted since he wasn’t, in my opinion, putting forth much effort without me or my friend telling him exactly what to do.
I do think I had a right to be bothered or upset about some of those things, but I should have just nicely and calmly asked him to stop or told him it bothered me, and then had that be the end of the conversation, because he was doing them on accident without thinking and hasn’t had a girlfriend since high school, in a relationship that wasn’t really anything. After a few months of him taking me on dates and spending time with me (even though we had to tell him how to do it), I agreed to be his girlfriend. He was really excited about it and seemed like he was crazy in love with me.

About six months in, he stopped doing anything nice for me at all ever. I believe this is because so many times when he tried to do something nice I would get angry or upset over small things, and end up ruining the time together. I know he hates conflict, so I think he started to get scared if he spent time with me that would happen. This only made things worse, because it made me feel even more unwanted and unloved, so I fought over things even worse. It was frustrating at the time because it felt like I was saying just take me on dates and spend time with me and he wouldn’t and it felt like he didn’t respect my feelings, but looking back I don’t think I would have asked someone to hang out if they had gotten upset over all of my accidents either.

We are a year in right now, and two weeks ago I put my foot down and said “you haven’t been taking me on dates or asking me to hang out like I told you I needed. Until you do that, you and I are on a ‘break'”. And he just told me repeatedly he’s too busy to spend time with me right now. He isn’t, he spends tons of time with his friends and family, but that’s what he keeps saying. He is currently asking me to hang out about once a week, so my plan was to take the time he does give me, be the best/sweetest version of myself and not get mad or upset over anything (I’ve realized those things weren’t a big deal and I took them way too personal; that they were just rude, but nothing that I should have made into a huge fight or conversation).

I’m hoping over time he will start to enjoy that company, and will want to spend time with me again but I’m scared he won’t make an effort to take me on dates since he didn’t the first time we started talking. It feels like we are starting over, but I don’t want him to not do the things that make me feel good again, just so I can get insecure and feel unwanted again and then be super sensitive to things that aren’t a huge deal. We both stopped wanting to kiss each other about two months ago, we don’t say “I love you” anymore, and he is very short in conversation with me which has made me feel very alone and ignored.

I really want this to work, but I’m scared a no contact period will make everything worse. I feel like we never had a strong enough foundation from the start for him to miss me, because I was fighting right from the beginning to get what I wanted instead of just nicely asking and being patient. I feel like I need to just spend time with him whenever he gives it to me and be super sweet during that and make sure I don’t get upset at all. But I’m confused as to where this puts me on this list of where to start and what to do.

Ashley

December 10, 2016 at 10:36 pm

My physical attraction to him is missing. I don’t want to kiss him or anything anymore. He looks exactly the same as when we started dating, so I know it’s not that that’s changed, and I used to think he was cute and always wanted to kiss him or have a physical relationship.

Now, I constantly avoid trying to kiss him. I can handle cuddling and hugging, but anything that’s more intimate than that, I feel very uncomfortable with. Is this common for people when they get back together? I feel like I should be so excited that we worked things out that I should want to be around him and kiss him all the time.
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 13, 2016 at 2:58 pm

Nope.. It means you have moved on, or you’re half way there because there’s no desire anymore.
Ashley

December 6, 2016 at 9:48 pm

He’s been doing all of the initiating and putting forth a lot of effort. He’s even doing way more now than he did when we had started dating the first time.
My feelings aren’t coming back, though. I know all the reasons why I like him, but I don’t ever feel like I’m completely having fun when we are hanging out and I still don’t get excited to see him when we do have plans. We aren’t fighting at all, and he’s doing everything right and showing me how much he cares, but I feel like I’ve emotionally checked out.

I don’t understand because I was so sad when we broke up, but now that we are back together there is no physical attraction or deep connection. It almost feels like we are strangers. He gives me this look all the time like he wants to kiss me but I always turn my head or find a way to distract ourselves from it so that it doesn’t happen because I don’t want to.

Will that attraction ever come back? I can’t figure out why I’m not attracted to him anymore, because I was so crazy about him for so long. Is it possible that because I was hurt I just can’t feel the same way? Or I’m scared to emotionally invest again? I’m having a hard time sorting through my feelings because he’s doing everything I’ve ever wanted, and we aren’t fighting at all, but something still feels missing now.
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 10, 2016 at 7:24 pm

HI Ashley,

What’s missing? Answer that question. Get a pen and paper, talk to him, talk to yourself, talk to a counselor.
Ashley

November 30, 2016 at 4:42 am

things are great, he’s still doing everything great.
he did snap at me once last week and got grouchy but he apologized and brought ice cream as an apology, and i could tell he felt really bad about it.
but he is taking me on dates, calling me every day, talking to me all the time, asking me to hang out constantly, etc.
FINALLY! thank you for your help!

but now there’s a different issue. i’m having trouble carrying conversations with him/feeling the feelings i used to have. i’m not sure if it’s because i have trust issues that maybe he will go back to his old ways, or if it’s because of how hurt i was, but for some reason i’m having trouble emotionally investing 100%. sometimes i can’t text him back because i don’t know what to talk about. conversations can be very dull sometimes, which never used to happen, and i’m not sure why or what to do about it
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 30, 2016 at 8:10 pm

then rest from initiating.. let him do it, maybe for a week.
Ashley

November 20, 2016 at 9:45 pm

This was super helpful. So checking in, things have been great. He’s been treating me well and things have been good, we’ve been happy.

I’m still nervous deep down though that over time we will fall back into a routine where he stops taking me on dates or stops emotionally being there for me/spending time with me.

I don’t want to repeat the same things again and have us end up the same way.
What are some ways to make sure my boyfriend always takes me on dates and makes time for me/wants to be around me and do boyfriend-y things for me?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 22, 2016 at 10:12 pm

Relationships go into cycles..it would be best to be in therapy or counseling even if the relationship is going great.. Always communicate and don’t stop having your own life.. If he doesn’t want to date then go to the place yourself or go out with friends.. If he notices you’re having fun even if he doesnt want to after you invited him, he would more likely initiate later on
ashley

November 4, 2016 at 3:24 pm

that makes sense. I think I messed up though, I got really upset this week when I failed an exam. We both had exams, so he felt stressed when he comforted me. Now he’s fallen back into a rut for a few days of being grumpy again. Every day I try to keep moving forward and be happy and in a good mood with him but he keeps being grouchy or making snippy comments, which then makes me upset.

Should I just weather it out and when he’s grumpy pretend everything is fine? I feel like the more serious talks we have the more it focuses on the negative and we are both tired of the talks, so I don’t really think talking about what happened will help, but I don’t feel like he’s moving on.

We are supposed to hang out tomorrow night, should I just be in a good mood the whole time and if he isn’t, just pretend nothing is wrong?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 6, 2016 at 12:20 pm

you dont have to pretend your happy but you dont have to feel the same way as he does in that moment too..
In metaphor, when he’s upset, it’s like he’s holding this paper labeled upset, that has all his reasons why he’s upset or what he wants to say when he’s upset, for you to read or take a look at. Dont accept it. You can take a look at it while he’s holding it or you can listen to what it says while he’s reading it.

In short, just listen to him,observe and then remain calm..

And then you can say your perspective or advice in a calm way after he shares his feelings.
Ashley

November 1, 2016 at 8:07 pm

Things were going well, but yesterday I did really poor on an exam during finals. I was really sad about it. He hugged me but when I continued to talk about it he seemed annoyed and disinterested. I know that he is really stressed right now with finals too, and was more worried about getting home to do his own studying than comforting me on mine.

I wasn’t sure how to act so I ended up just not responding to him the rest of the night. I can’t tell if I expect too much. When I’m sad, I really need lots of attention and affection (holding me, letting me cry it out, etc.). He offers little sometimes, and sometimes not at all. I take this extremely personal, which was what had started our fighting initially.

Do I need to learn how to manage my own sadness better? I feel like close intimate relationships are formed from people helping each other out when they are upset, rather than just a shallow relationship of only ‘fun’ things all the time. But, it feels like whenever I am sad, my boyfriend gets really annoyed because he knows I expect him to comfort me and he has other things to do (sometimes it’s not that he’s busy, he just doesn’t want to have to do that). I can’t tell if I’m being too entitled and expecting too much out of him, or if I should be expecting comfort when I am upset.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 2, 2016 at 7:43 pm

I agree with you that we build relationships through bonds in happiness and sadness.. but if he’s the only person you confide in and if you’re always sad or having problems, it would be overwhelming for him.. you would look needy and a responsibility for him,especially if he has problems of his own…
Ashley

October 27, 2016 at 12:12 am

Well a huge turn of events occurred. We hung out and he made up his mind that that was what he wanted was to be with me. And he like really, emotionally meant it. I care about him a lot and like a lot of things about him, but I want to make sure I’m going to be treated in a way that I’ll be happy in this relationship before I commit to anything this time around.

I feel like we always had a surface level relationship because he wouldn’t create anything deeper, if that makes sense. It was like he was either holding back or didn’t want to give completely to the relationship, so something always felt somewhat off, which i think was why I was getting upset and overreacting to things in the first place. I’m not sure if that’s something I can control or aid in or not. I’ve made a serious effort to stop getting upset and I can tell he feels more comfortable being himself, but it still doesn’t feel like there is a closeness. Do you think it will come back with time, or should I do the no contact rule even though he’s saying he wants to get back together right now?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 28, 2016 at 8:43 pm

hmmm.. ok, give him a chance but don’t expect too much and move like how you would improve yourself during no contact rule but the difference is that, if he initiates contact, of course you will answer. You’re just going to be more focused in yourself this time.
ashley

October 23, 2016 at 4:32 pm

yeah that’s very true.
we hung out last night and had a really good time, and he even put his arm around me and also pulled me close to him to give him a hug privately. it was cute and made me feel like maybe his feelings are coming back, but then all day today he’s hardly texted me. i don’t want to put pressure on him or force any conversations, but it’s confusing for me because i don’t know where he stands and i don’t think he even knows.
am i supposed to just keep hanging out with him until our feelings come back? i can’t tell if they’re going to or not.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 25, 2016 at 12:25 pm

nope..for me do no contact instead. if you’re too available, you would be taken for granted
ashley

October 20, 2016 at 7:00 pm

basically. we still hang out, but he’s a bump on the log that doesn’t say anything and it doesn’t even seem like he wants to be there. and i don’t know how i’m supposed to act around that, because 1) it hurts but 2) it’s incredibly awkward to be super happy and act like nothing is wrong when clearly, something is wrong, but we can’t talk about it because we’ve already discussed it and talking about conflict is what got us here in the first place. there’s nothing to discuss, it’s just clear he doesn’t really have feelings for me anymore. and he says he wants to, but i don’t know how to make those come back.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 22, 2016 at 3:09 pm

as they say, absence creates desire, if he looks like he doesnt want to be with you, dont force it..it’s better to just stay away and do your thing than keep on looking like a clown for him right?
ashley

October 20, 2016 at 6:53 pm

yeah. we both want to try to make it work. we are going on a date saturday night.
but we have to see each other everyday at school and he always just looks annoyed and upset whenever i’m around, but then if he’s with his friends he’s happy and fine.

i have no idea how to act because, he hates conflict, so i just continue to be as kind and sweet as i can every time i see him and whenever he texts me. and he does see me and text me, but whenever we are together it feels like he wishes he wasn’t there, and i don’t know how i’m supposed to act.

i’m really nervous about saturday because i want to just go and have fun to show him we can get through this and be happy, but whenever he is around me he just seems like he can’t feel anything. he’s told me he doesn’t have romantic feelings for me anymore, but that he wants to have them come back which is why he’s hanging out with me. i don’t know what to do or how to make those come back, so i’ve just been being nice and sweet and friendly as often as he’s given me an opportunity.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 18, 2016 at 5:13 pm

Hi Ashley,

wait.. so you’re not on a break anymore because you will be hanging out again right?

Annie

October 17, 2016 at 11:47 am

First, thank you so much for this website! It provides such good information and really gets me motivated to work on myself and to win him back.
My boyfriend of 1 year and 7 months broke up with me a week ago because ‘he just doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore’. My questions on his feelings for me got awkward answers as at the start he said he still loved me, then he told me he does not know if he loved me, later he said he doesn’t have any feelings left and at the end he stated he still has some feelings. Quite confusing. He told me there might be another chance for us sometime in the future but he doesn’t want to get my hopes up as he can’t promise anything. I asked him if I still had a better chance to have him than other women and he said ‘Of course, as you are still you’.
Two weeks before this he already wanted to break up with me but as he said he still loved me, he gave us another chance and we talked about our problems – most of them caused by me as I see myself as a pretty complicated person and to be honest, it’s a miracle and definitely speaks for him and his love for me that he could even keep up with me for that long.
I think the final breakup happened because I couldn’t manage to give up my annoying habits within those two weeks and it actually got worse as after every discussion I asked him if ‘we are still alright’ and if I have to worry that he breaks up with me. Well, I see my mistakes and I really want to work on them but I truly hope he can see that I changed.
As I was very devastated and desperate and I was begging all the time when he broke up he probably thought I would beg for him to come back as soon as he went out the door but I did not contact him a single time ever since he left.
He wants his freedom so I respect his freedom but I really hope for him to come back as I think we’re a really great fit.
I already identified the possible reasons for him to leave me, wrote them down and wrote possibilities for me to change them and to be able to show him that I changed.
I’m just afraid that he will not take me back ever because he might be worried it all becomes complicated again. I really think we deserve a second chance and apart from my complicated sides I don’t think I was a bad girlfriend and I know he really loved me, I also was his first serious relationship, we travelled a lot together and had many plans.
I think I need to remind him of the person he fell in love with when he didn’t know I was a complicated person.

Long story short, I have a problem because we will have to see each other again in a week as school starts and we are in the same group of friends and the same classes so it’s inevitable for me to meet him before NC ends. My plan is to look the best I can as soon as we see each other and I planned to tell him a simple ‘Hello’ with a smile when we meet again and then ignore him. Is that alright?
Also there is a concert we bought tickets for in November, a week after NC. He can’t take anyone else and he also can’t return them as the tickets are personalized and his and my names are on them so we probably have to go together. It is a band we listened to all the time together and I actually introduced him to them – of course I have my hopes up that this night I can win his heart back. How do I have to behave this evening and until that so there is a true chance for me? (Fyi, we are both 20 years old)
Sorry for that long story and again a big thank you for this page!

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 18, 2016 at 4:39 pm

Hi Annie,

Just change, if it’s genuine he will notice it because if it’s genuine, the change will stick..

I think that’s good, smile and greet.. dont initiate a conversation but be polite and give short replies if he does.. just have fun in the concert..dont rush though…dont sleep with him at that early

Jenna

October 17, 2016 at 5:31 am

Hi I wrote a comment on another page but I didn’t get a response:(

I had neutral responses every time I’ve texted him ( 3 conversations ). The second time I was texting more words than he was. He was only texting 3 or 4 word answers. The 3rd time we texted i sent a funny meme that would remind him of me he just said that his apartment was so cold. And his 2 responses were 30 min apart he was the last to text he sent haha. The first 2 conversations were about my brother having a seizure. We haven’t text since Friday midmorning. Sunday evening he text me that he hoped my brother was feeling better an hour later i said thank you. Nothing after that. Was he just checking in to see how my brother was or was I on his mind? He dated for 2.5years he’s 33 I’m 28. What should I do? He responds but doesn’t encourage conversation. Do I give it more time? Do the tide theory? My birthday is in 1 week I don’t know if he’ll say anything? we also might bump into each other out. Last weekend we bumped into each other he was so flirty smiling ear to ear. He acted completely different from how he’s texting.

Jenna

November 3, 2016 at 2:28 pm

Hi amor
So I took your advice and waited until a good conversation he was wondering what I wasgoing to be for Halloween then when I didn’t respond right away he was getting mad/ jealous. I sent him a picture and he sent one back.. at 3am he sent me a text well hope you had a good night. The next day we met up had so much fun on our meet up we decided to go to our favorite spot for dinner next time. We even extended the date went to his place and watched walking dead together. I asked him he if wanted me to get going he kept saying no. We fell asleep on the couch and I spent the night. Everything was the same with us… even better. He’s applying for jobs and has a lot of hw until he graduates in December. We’ve texted since but he isn’tsuper talkative the last 2 days. what do I do know?! I haven’t said anything in over 24 hrs. I’m working Friday night and Saturday night. Do I initiate Sunday walking dead again?help! I can’t help but think things should have gone back to normal by now
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 5, 2016 at 3:04 pm

don’t rush and dont be too avaialble.. when you meet leave a note too, so that you can have a higher chance of him wanting more
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 18, 2016 at 3:16 pm

Hi Jenna,

sorry, I haven’t reached your comment yet.. ok, I think you need to rest for a week now.. and dont forget the activities you started during nc..continue those..focus in them again for a week

Christine Horsley

October 16, 2016 at 11:49 pm

My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday and I will admit we have been talking since, we were only together a few months but it was amazing and we both enjoyed spending time together but he dumped me because I have a few personal issues and he has been looking after him mum with similar issues for years and he says he don’t want to do it all his life and started crying when he split with me. I don’t want to be just friends with him, I care more for him than that and I know he does for me just not sure what to do

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 18, 2016 at 2:05 pm

Hi Christine,

do you want to try what’s advised above?

Jennifer

October 16, 2016 at 10:43 pm

I’m kinda confuse, I try to distract myself but I can’t. Just imagining the fact that he’s over me it’s killing me. I’m so at a low point right now 🙁

Jennifer

October 24, 2016 at 8:25 pm

When do I know if its 30 or 45 days? To end the NC rule and texts him back ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 26, 2016 at 12:07 pm

30 is more common, when you’ve begged or it’s an of and off relationship, it’s better to do 45 days..
Jennifer

October 18, 2016 at 12:47 am

Can somebody reply to me?
I have my ups and downs. The more I wait the more im scared to have lose him for real. I wanna text him soo bad, but I don’t do it. I feel like even tho I might do the NC rule it’s like a way for me to move on instead of having him back which is my main priority? Can you help me? I know it seem stupid, but I guess im really emotional…
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 18, 2016 at 12:22 pm

dont just wait..be productive.. check this one:
EBR 060: “Dating Yourself” During No Contact With Veronica Grant

Risvana

October 16, 2016 at 10:16 pm

Hi Chris, i bought your ebook and i have to admit the NC has helped me in atleast getting in contact with my ex after he blocked me on whatsapp and he refuse to see me.

He told me we should take things really slow and let whats suppose to happen, happen. And he also told me keep my options open just incase things dont work out. He has become a really negative person after the breakup. He has changed and at times cold towards me. But i still love him all the same.

So its been a month after i contacted him. Its hard to keep a long convo with him and its hard to meet him cos he travels for work.

Our msges to each other are so routine. 🙁
I want to ask more and say more but i dont want to push things. And i always seem to initiate the convo or asking if we can meetup. How do i get him to ask me instead? Please help.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 18, 2016 at 12:19 pm

Hi Risvana,

if there’s no rapport built he wouldn’t really aak you out.. hmm, how about your personal life? Did you keep improving yourself? Would he be interested in your activities? If he sees your posts, would he be curious and attracted to you?

Lou

October 16, 2016 at 8:06 pm

My bf broke up with me after 18 months. I did the no contact for the 30 days and he asked me to meet up. He told me when we broke up that he loved me and to save the friendship he ended the relationship as we had a fight the night before over him standing me up to be with his friends. So during the meeting he said it was a quick decision that he broke up with me and if times were different I would have been the one. He has a lot going on currently in his life and this has really gotten him down. I was there for him at every turn and during the no contact phase he was looking for that support which I did not give him.
While we were talking he said he was going away out of the country for 3 months and asked me would I visit him while he was always. All my friends are saying he just wants a comfort blanket while he is away and I don’t know what to do.
He says he loves me and I love him but I can’t keep waiting my life is good and focused his is a hot mess, I shared my time with him, maybe too much and I feel that backfired on me.
Should I visit him in the new year when he goes away or is that just once again giving into his wants

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 18, 2016 at 11:51 am

Hi Lou,

Yup, that’s just giving what he wants..

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