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Post categories
Abi
January 25, 2018 at 12:27 pm
Hi Amor,
I’m about to purchase the NC rule book but was wondering if you could give me a little advice please… In a nutshell my boyfriend who I lived with broke up with me after 7 years saying he no longer felt the same way about me but still wanted to be friends and “maybe” something could happen again in the future.
We tried staying in touch to begin with, but I found it too hard not to constantly default back to talking about us so said that I needed to have some time to myself to which he agreed would be a good idea as he needed to also work on himself and essentially begin to get over each other.
This was about 2 weeks ago and since then we have basically been in touch each day because we have had to sort moving out of the house we shared together, it’s just not something we could do without speaking unfortunately! To begin with we’d chat about other things as well but the last week I have made a point of just sticking to talking about the house and our texts have gone from being quite friendly to very blunt and to the point which in all honesty I haven’t enjoyed. We’re due to hand the keys back by the 31st after which I am intending to initiate full NC. I just wanted your advice as to whether (given the circumstances) I am dealing with this correctly or not?!
Thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 25, 2018 at 9:28 pm
Hi Abi,
If you’re just talking to him about the house, yes you are doing it right.
Tanya
January 24, 2018 at 7:49 am
Okay, I am facing a difficult situation. I reconnected with my ex 2 and a half months after NC. I texted him that I had some work in his city and asked if he wanted to meet up for lunch/dinner. He was very pleasant and friendly and agreed to meet up for dinner. Our dinner was amazing and the conversation was light and there was a lot of laughing. He even commented on how good I looked and smelled. At the end of the evening he dropped me to my hotel but I felt he was being evasive (I guess I wanted him to stay a while longer and talk, so I was a little disappointed). But I let it go and he hugged me goodbye. The next day we texted and talked on the phone and everything was going great, however, I messed up and reacted to his distance (I dont know why I couldn’t shut up) and we had an argument over text. I called him and apologized ofcourse and he accepted my apology graciously. We spoke for a while and ended the conversation pleasantly enough. However the next morning, I woke up to find out that I had been unfriended on FB and blocked on his phone. I called him from another number and it felt like I was speaking to a stranger. He sounded so cold and said that he couldn’t talk. I apologized again for overreacting the previous night, and he said that he was upset that I had “gone there” with him. Everything was okay, till I reminded him of our failed relationship and the break up with my overreaction. I am still kicking myself for not acting cool with the friendship and just being happy that our dinner went well. Anyway, he blocked me on the second number as well and I decided that I had done enough damage for the day. The next day I sent him a message on social media basically apologizing for “going there” and stating that I hoped he would get back to me once he calmed down. I then stated in another email that I was okay with just being his friend if that’s what he wanted (Desperate, I know) and that I know that I had screwed up and hope that I would get a chance to fix it. He read them but didn’t reply. I then didn’t call/message him till new year’s when I wished him a good year and a great life. No reply to that as well, though I got the read notification. I was atleast hoping for some closure if nothing else. How do I fix this? Everything was going so well, till I screwed up by letting my emotions get the better of me…I don’t know what to do? I am not even the one who broke up..He broke up with me because of his grass is greener syndrome. I have played the cool ex for so long, I couldn’ t bottle my feelings anymore. One slip and everything is over. Do you think he will reach out? Should I reach out to him? How do I fix this? What do you thing is going through his head right now?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 25, 2018 at 7:50 pm
Hi Tanya,
looks like he has moved on, and then he thought you had too but then he saw you haven’t. So, to stop making you feel that he’s leading you on, he stopped contact. For me you should move on because it would take a long time for him to get convinced that you really have moved on and safe to be friendly with you.
Kimberly
January 21, 2018 at 7:30 pm
Hi amor. I just need some insight. My boyfriend and I broke up in November 2017. Between that time and January I tried pleading with him to get him to make us work. He said he didn’t want the relationship anymore and also that he’s making another girl his girlfriend soon as he found someone better. I really messed up in our relationship by not having a life of my own and maybe being overbearing. I’m sorry he wasn’t happy. I’m 11 days into the NC after we had a big fight and he told me to stop messaging him. My plan is to get a new profile picture soon. I’ve been going to the gym and I also got a new job. I’ve got a great team of friends also that I’ve been seeing more since the breakup. However I’m certain he is moving on with her. He messaged a few days ago but deleted the messages. I missed them so I don’t know what he said. I would like to try our relationship again but he would have to want to which means breaking off his situation with this new girl. I’d like us to rekindle soon. Is 30 days sufficient or is 45? I know the procedure is to keep actively improving myself and posting on social media. Is that all I can do? Some insight would be appreciated. His friends and family also offer very little support. So I feel like he may not come back even if he wanted to.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 22, 2018 at 4:14 am
Hi Kimberly,
If you feel you need to extend to 45 days after 30days, its ok…yep, that’s all.. You just beed tob
maintain that too after nc
Aiko
January 5, 2018 at 4:12 pm
Hi.
It’s been 40ish days since I started NC.
He broke up with me for the 3rd time because he was attracted to another girl, so much that he flew all the way to another country to meet her.
We split with smiles and see yous but as soon as I got into my car that night I blocked him on messenger apps, blocked his number, blocked instagram, and unfriended him on facebook (not block). I didn’t even want him to see what I’m doing (god forbid even like my posts) as if nothing ever happened between us.
I do see him as someone I want to be with in the long run, but after 3 times of breaking up for the same reason I just felt that I’m done.
To my knowledge, I don’t think he’s tried to contact me or even asked about me to our mutual friends. This is where my struggle is.
Even though I know that I’m not ready to deal with him, I miss him and surprisingly, I haven’t stalked him at all because I didn’t want to see any possible couple pics or such.
Now I feel like I’m stuck in limbo between missing him, hurt, and wanting him back but not now. Definitely not now. I’m curious of how he’s actually feeling right now, and all that. Does he miss me or even think about me?
Thank you, I just needed to rant about my NC struggles. I know there’s no real question in there, but I appreciate any insights you might have.
Have a great weekend.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 7, 2018 at 11:30 pm
Hi Aiko,
You need to start making your posts public because that helps in making him believe you’re moving on and improving and helps in making him miss you and regret.
Sara
November 16, 2017 at 4:45 am
Hello, I’m wondering about how to handle social media.
My ex has been constantly looking at my Instagram Stories.
Should I watch his or just leave him thinking I don’t want to know about his life?
I thought uncertainty was better for him feeling pressure and thinking he doesn’t have me at all anymore, but this article confused me a bit.
Should I give mixed signals saying that I do care while still not contact him? Is watching his stories a way of contact?
Should I send other kind of mixed signals like things that remind me of us or him?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 18, 2017 at 2:22 am
HI Sara,
let him watch your stories, but don’t watch his..just continue being active in posting and do more posts that just stays there unless you remove them.
Hannah
September 25, 2017 at 3:05 am
Dear Amor, remember me? I have not spoken to my ex since aug 1st. He said he was moving on getting married with a new girl but I have reason to believe that he didn’t. They may still be together though. Soon after the presumed wedding date he asked me via text to be friends. I didn’t respond and kept nc. Recently I changed my profile picture where we used to chat. And as a reply he sent a smiley face…. I didn’t reply, and 2 days later he sent amother emoji of a dancing girl.
Some may say his reach out may be a good opportunity to initiate a convo after nc, but hell… its only a smiley / emoji! Couldn’t he come up with something substantial?
Why does he only send emojis.. or might he be afraid to say more as last time I didnt react to his request to be friends?
I would love to be in touch again but am afraid for the FWB treatment… so should I reply or not?
I was thinking, I can send back a smiley…
Its just that ignoring him in my eyes is so rude and disrespectful. He’ll still have to say something first if he wants a conversation? It’s so unlike me not to answer and I’m afraid it’ll press too much on my mind as it already does…
Hannah
October 9, 2017 at 9:04 am
… and he gave me hope till the last moment… a week before the wedding he said he would move to europe and it would bring him closer to me. Why, why would he do that? In all 8 months between breaking up with me, meeting her, and marrying her, he gave me hope. He could have just been a friend or ignored me. Why? He hurtled me so much by doing that.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 10, 2017 at 2:36 pm
I dont know.. But it doesn’t matter now.. A proper man wouldn’t do that..
Hannah
October 7, 2017 at 9:46 am
But do you propose indefinite NC then? I mean, I want to open the dialogue because he rushed into this marriage with rocket speed… but by keeping quiet there will be never a dialogue at all… ?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 8, 2017 at 10:57 pm
Nope, not indefinite nc but to move on.. He’s a grown man..Whether he rushed it or not, you’re not his mom to talk to him about getting married to hastily.. If he married in a rush, that sole reason should be more than enough not to get involved with him.. He made a life changing decision without even thinking about it..
Hannah
October 4, 2017 at 9:12 am
But do you think there is still a chance that he will ask me back, or will contact me at all?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 5, 2017 at 7:30 am
If he does ignore him… He’s married, you should be setting a standard if he tries to contact you.. That would mean you’re ok to be his mistress if you keep talking to him..
Hannah
October 3, 2017 at 10:01 am
Oh Amor, it’s even worse, it’s not a relationship. .. he did marry her. I found out this weekend. So it wasn’t entirely a lie. But he did something strange: remember he told me that he was getting married on Aug 12th, but instead in reality it was Aug 19th. As if he wanted me to do something…. but I stayed NC since aug 1st, as I didn’t have the idea he would listen to me if I would be saying that I wanted to marry him….
There are some weird things….
on Aug 12th he texted me he was making a big step in his life and was moving to Europe, saying he would maybe closer to me… so confusing?!?! Why would he do that?
On Sept 8th he posted on facebook a quote saying that you just got to accept that there’s some shit in life you can’t change.. not really something that I would post if I just got happily married?!
And then indeed on Sept 20th he tried to contact me by sending some smileys straight after I changed my skype profile pic…
Is there still hope?
I did improve myself by exercising, doing things with friends, work hard, shift my focus, post positive UG pics, but I can’t get him out of my head!
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 3, 2017 at 9:59 pm
If he’s already married, then you should move on..If I were you and if later on he asks for you back, then he has to get divorced first, fix everything including himself, before I even talk to him again…
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 28, 2017 at 8:11 pm
Hi Hannah,
nope, that was not enough to reply and you’re not being rude.. You know why? Because he’s in a relationship. YOu would look like a pushover if you replied knowing that was his “supposed” wedding date. How much did you improve yourself in the past weeks?
Gwen
September 9, 2017 at 8:24 pm
Hi Amor,
Well… My story is that he broke up with me then I discovered EBR followed the recommendations and I got him back but then he broke up again because I was very jealous and I tried NC again and we started having some phone sex and by cam too because we are LD. I know I should have avoided that but… I didn’t. Eventually, he came to see me again a month ago and we had sex I stopped following the recommendations here because I was lost I didn’t really know what I wanted and I was confused, but it was a mistake, just in that visit, he told me he just wanted to be my friend. So we stopped having sex conversations and we were being really good friends because actually we have never been aloof in that way, we’ve always been good friends since I met him and the other times he broke up we still were friends. The thing is that I was trying because I really love him and I’d really like having a relationship with him but as we are LD and I can’t move there for the moment because I’m still studying and nor can he come here because of his job and situation I see it very difficult. That’s actually the reason he told me to be just friends when he came here to visit me last month. I haven’t done anything this month because I was confused I didn’t know if letting go and just be friends or trying NC again and all the plan… However I haven’t stopped feeling the same for him and it makes me very sad that we can’t be together. Although I try to be logical I’m still so in love with him. The thing is that I got angry because I needed to talk with him about something and he saw my message and answered two days later so I didn’t answer him again… I’ve thought maybe I could try NC and I was talking with a friend who told me she thinks he plays with me because he told me maybe we could be together in the future but not now, as leaving an open door just in case he doesn’t find anything else he can go back with me. Actually the way he acted I thought the same as my friend. Maybe this is like the grass is greener and all of that… I don’t really know. Well I didn’t answer and some days later he has texted again asking me if I’m ok and sending some sad emoji faces telling me to answer as if he feels bad and all of that, also he has sent me a pic of a TV show we both like as trying to be nice… he told me the character of the show would persecute me if I don’t answer but I mean like joking, he was even cute with me the way he talked, but still I haven’t answered. My question is if I should try NC again when it was 4 or 5 months ago the last NC I did. If I do it should I tell him I need space or do I just leave him with no answer? Do I do 30 days or maybe 2 weeks is enough? And also I have doubts about NC because we’ve been talking this past month after he came and we weren’t in a relationship, we just thought about having one and had cybersex then in person when he came, but just that.
Gwen
September 25, 2017 at 6:16 am
Oh yes yes, I meant that I wasn’t sure if it’s ok 21 days of not talking to him but I know I will have to keep on improving myself
Gwen
September 23, 2017 at 7:04 pm
Ok thank you Amor, but do you think this NC of 21 days is enough? I’m going to finish NC this week, he contacted me again saying he doesn’t know what happens to me why don’t I talk and that he’s worried about me. I didn’t answer, it’s been a week since he texted that, but I still was in NC but well he wasn’t angry at me, I’ve been active and I think it’s going to be enough but I want to be sure.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 24, 2017 at 7:52 pm
it’s not really “enough”, because after nc, you still have to continue improving yourself and being active in posting. The difference is that you’ve already initiated talking.
Gwen
September 14, 2017 at 1:30 pm
Well it’s difficult, I would have to wait a year to be able to move there… Do you think it’s better if I try to move on? Or could I try once more?
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 15, 2017 at 4:38 pm
If you know he would be willing yo make it work for a year when you get him back, try it first
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 14, 2017 at 12:00 pm
Hi Gwen,
How much is the possibility of making a long distance relationship with him work?
Amanda
August 23, 2017 at 10:13 pm
Hi, my boyfriend, to whom I was almost engaged to, and I just broke up last week. It was really ugly. This wasn’t our first break up, but a lot of them were stupid things and his fear of being in a relationship, he has a lot of baggage with that, he has been screwed over pretty bad. I was very understanding because when were together, it was amazing, and always kept him coming back. And I have been really patient because he has a lot on his plate (we both still live with our parents and his parents were on the brink of divorcing and then now his dad is dying of cancer probably within a year). So the last time we broke up, I came back to him to tell him I had a miscarriage. I know that I did. I lied to to him and told him I already went to the doctor though because in that moment he didn’t take it very well and I was scared and was trying not to make it his problem. Anyways, fast forward about a month. We were going to celebrate our one year anniversary. Around that time he told his brother and his parents found out. And now they are all convinced I am lying about it. And it was just my desperate ploy to get him back. He demanded paperwork from a doctor. But he didn’t really give me a chance to do or any anything, text broke up with me. And now I am blocked on absolutely everything, my number, Snapchat, Facebook. I didn’t even get to respond to his message. I only waited a week since then to try to reach out to him. I got a text free number and messaged him telling him I wanted to explain everything. And if he still wants to hate me then fine. I am officially going into no contact, because I did try to reach out to him. And I know what I have to do for it. I just started a new job. And I’m going to get my own apartment soon. I wouldn’t end no contact until after that point. But how do I get him to respond to me or anything ? I know he’s angry and needs space. But what do I say to him when the time comes?
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 24, 2017 at 11:04 pm
Hi Amanda,
check this one:
How To Properly Start A Conversation With Your Ex After No Contact
Lindsay
August 18, 2017 at 4:28 pm
Hi,
My ex bf broke up 3 weeks ago. I initiated the no contact the next day after the break up. Currently it has been 18 days. I thought we were perfect for each other. We never even have gotten into an argument. I thought everything was fine and then 2 weeks before we broke up he started being distant. He told me he was stressed with work (he was currently working 6 12 hour night shifts) which I’m sure took a tole on him. He was mentally and physically exhausted. When he broke up with me he told me these things and said he wasn’t emotionally there at the moment and that all he wanted to do was go to work come home and play with he dog. His exact words were “I’m just in a funk.” When he told me this I was crying but I also said I just wanted him to feel ok again that’s all I cares about. So the last time I spoke to him there was no arguements or anything. He took his relationship status off of Facebook where it is hidden from everyone. Well when I checked his facebook today he put it back to say single. I immediately felt like I couldn’t breathe and there was a tightness in my chest. Does this mean he is over it? I’m trying so hard to follow the rules with no contact and am currently doing good so far. I haven’t messaged him or called or texted or anything. Should I post anything on Facebook sense we are still friends or what? Please help! Thank you!
Lindsay
August 19, 2017 at 1:21 am
what about the relationship status update to single from just hiding it on his time line? or am I reading too far into this?
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 19, 2017 at 8:58 pm
Yup, you’re overthinking it.. That’s better if he just hid it rather than changing it to an in relationship with somebody else right?
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 18, 2017 at 5:52 pm
Yup, you should be active in posting in social media..
FDM
August 11, 2017 at 5:43 pm
Hello Amor.
Me and my gf broke up last Friday (and on wednesday two days before she texted me she wants to break up). The only problem is that it is our second break up. We were together for almost 5 years. I love her and I want her back I can’t help myself. I have been applying no contact till yesterday. She had birthday on Tuesday so I wished her through the text. Just simple positive short message, nothing else, just “i wish you happy birthday”. Problem is I gave her flowers on Friday in break up talk because I was scared that I will never seen her again. But to the point. She didn’t like my negativity about life, and that I could not go through the mistake I have made our first year (I was sad and I slept with someone else – I still feel ashamed over years and have a strong guilt even know), she gave me another chance, she was trying to overcome it, to be positive, but I was still having guilt, I was telling her what girl is nice who approached me etc, because I wanted to be honest, but it hurt her (now I feel so stupidly).First we broke up after 3 years, because I didn’t have job, was in US for 3 months and she wanted to be happy (also I was still not over the past). But we get together after almost month. She didn’t changed her status on facebook that time. After and during this break up, I didn’t contact with her only sometimes she wrote me about job, and I was working on myself – job, sports, motorbike, cooking. I was posting pictures on facebook. Than I was moving ahead happily. It seemed happy. We were on vacation etc, I bought a car just move on. Then some family problems happened and I was stressed with who I was living, and the problem is I began to be lazy again, to be self pity, nervous, sometimes exploding (not only to her but for example in a car traffic because of other drivers – maybe you know it). And she started to be more with her positive friends and in work. She said that she is now not breaking up with me because she just want to be alone. Other thing is that, she alwas wanted me to live together or travel but I was so dumm that I was postponing everything, I didn’t do anything, and also talk about past (in hidden signs), At the moment she changed her status on facebook, she replied me on tuesday just thank you with smile to my birthday wish. I think we broke up in positive way, her parents liked me and her friends too. Now I don’t have anything of it. What should I do? It has been 5 days since break up and not contacting her, except birthday wish (i know it was not clever but I didn’t want to look immature). I post picture on FB with my dad on motorbike to look more positive. But I am scared she now knows that maybe it is my strategy. Should I stay in no contact? Should I post on facebook as I do that my live is shifting forward? (sports, dating, new job -> new living?) Now
I know I want to marry her and be together, I am so sad that I was not working more on myself, because she broke up with me and said that I need to date and to be in relationship with some other girl to ged rid of my past insecurity and guilt. I love her, still having passion and hope to fix it. I will be very glad If your reply and answer my questions.
thank you with love
FDM
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 12, 2017 at 12:16 pm
It would be better to heal and improve by yourself instead getting into another relationship.. COntinue nc, improving yourself and posting in social media.
Kate
July 31, 2017 at 4:02 am
Broke up over a month ago. Long story short as possible : we were friends for a couple years but always had a bit of back and forth of feelings but bad timing. Finally got together and things were really good but we started to fight frequently, about petty things. Both of our first real, long term relationship and that added to the tiny fights but they always ended up solving and it was a team effort. Had mutual strong feelings for each other throughout.
He ended it saying he can’t do it anymore the fights were too much and he couldn’t see us working, and friends got involved and it was dramatic (we’re both first year uni), but continued to see each other a lot afterwards. During this period I acted a bit desperate and told him he was lying to himself about not wanting to get back. He got a bit defensive. Things were weird but we got over it and resumed talking. We were both leaving town for holiday for a few weeks and before we left, I read him a message I meant to send him telling him why we can/should make it work. This was a mistake because it was still too soon and needless to say it didn’t go well he just said he felt confused. Regardless, we maintained inconsistent contact whilst he was away. At first he did all the initiation, even said “i love you, but in a kind hearted way” and I was closed off. Then when I began to reciprocate he went weird. The cycle repeated.
Upon both of our return we hung out and things were super normal, we didn’t talk about our feelings until I brought it up towards the end and regrettably said “Yeah I just want us to be friends without it being weird or one of us assuming we have feelings” because I still do have feelings. I’ve known him for a while and I frankly feel he has feelings but does not want to go through our relationship again.
Anyway the situation right now is that we planned to hang out this week but I ignored his last message, an attempt to start no contact. I don’t know if this is the right call because Chris’s guide on the friendzone recommends no contact but you said one shouldn’t do that without warning.
Kate
August 1, 2017 at 12:41 am
Do I need to warn him or can I just go ahead and do it?
Also – what do you think of the situation in general? Likely to work or not? He still hasn’t made any effort to communicate
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 1, 2017 at 4:55 pm
Nope..just start it..
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 31, 2017 at 4:40 pm
Hi kate,
Ir depends on every situation on when and how you’re going to start nc, but the bottomline is to do nc.for you,just start nc..
laura
July 23, 2017 at 7:37 pm
I really need advice. This is about getting my ex boyfriend back.
My story
Okay I will really try and summarise this.
So I met this guy right after he started dating a girl for about 2 months. When we met the chemistry was good. So we started dating. And yes he was still with the other girl too.
But later on , we decided to just be friends till he is able to decide on one girl.
But cmon we still had the attraction and all just that we called ourselves “friends”.
But now he has decided to stay with the girl. And the reasons are that when he met the girl he introduced her to his family so they all know her as his girlfriend and also the girls family know him. He is 30 btw . And again the girl hasn’t wronged him in anyway and he feels he needs at least a valid reason to end things with her. I mean what exactly is he going to tell her family members when they ask why he left her?
But aside all this I want him back. I know he loves me. Our relationship was good and very different. And I really really need help getting him back. Please help.
laura
July 23, 2017 at 7:44 pm
And I already started the NC. Today is day 3 and he has called me twice today.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 25, 2017 at 5:25 pm
Hi Laura,
check this one:
EBR 034: Are YOU The Rebound For Your Ex Boyfriend?
Rachel
July 18, 2017 at 3:45 pm
I accidentally hurt my ex his feelings during a fight and he broke up, needing space. I gave him that space and after 3 days he got together with his ex/best friend. The past two weeks he has been ignoring me until he suddenly replied to my messages and said he can’t be friends now, only in the future. After I said I needed it he gave in and added me back. We spoke a few times but he is ignoring most of what I say. He’s the kind of type to avoid conflict/drama/bad things so I’m afraid he’s just running away from me easily. What I understood here is that I should apply the no-contact period but I have no way of showing him that I’m improving because he doesnt have facebook or other social media accounts. Also to clarify we are Long distance, and so is his rebound. The only place I can show my face is in games we both play because of mutual friends, idk if this is enough especially since we are ldr. Are my chances still higher when no-contact even if I can’t show I have improved? I really dont know what to do
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 18, 2017 at 10:10 pm
It’s ok even if he doesn’t have an account as long as he can still your posts if he does check your account because he’ll probably get curious and will check it.
Rupa
June 16, 2017 at 2:55 pm
Hi Amor!!
I broke up with my bf of almost 4 years in April last week bcoz of his disappearing and reappearing habit.
He contacted me after a week or so . I did respond to him but only in a very limited way through monosyllables .
After that he has stopped all contact with me again , abruptly and even I have not tried to contact him again .
We did have deep feelings for each other .
I am confused , hurt and also can’t figure out anything . What could be the outcome now ?? It’s already 40 days now .
Drea
July 12, 2017 at 6:46 pm
Hello Amor, so my now ex bf and I had a GREAT relationship, I even got along great with his mother, everything, but he has too much going on and decided to break it off, typical right. But of course I respected his decision, now I’ve started the NC and before running into thismy family keeps telling me do not contact him and he might come back and if he doesn’t it’s okay. Which I understand, but why have something great be completely left out? Now he said ” if we are meant to be I will find my way back to you, right now I am at 10 days lmao I know I could do it and I could keep going cause girl i am DEDICATED to getting him back but obviously giving him space. Like I mentioned, I got along with his Mother and she say she I can go over whenever and just because we are not together, him and I, does Not mean me and her will stop contacting, (her words). Now, since I am implying the NC rule does this apply to his mother too? Or can I just meet up with her but not care to ask about her son? (Which I care, but I’m dedicated), ALso, when I finish the no contact rule, itll be a few days before the first year of his father not being with them today.. what should I do when they NC Is up and he has that coming out around? Should i wait after the date or contact him that day?
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 14, 2017 at 1:56 pm
Try the nc process first.. Improve yourself, be active in posting and then slowly build rapport after..if it doesn’t work, then move on..
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 18, 2017 at 6:43 pm
Hi Rupa,
how much did you improve and hoe active in posting in the last 40days?
Priya
June 4, 2017 at 8:45 am
Hi Amor,
My boyfriend broke up with me around two months ago. I pleaded , begged and apologized for everything till today. He blocked me on social media and then unblocked and again blocked and recently texted saying again that these fights are too much , our relationship is not in a good state, we have difference of opinions and we deserve better than each other.
I do’t believe , we had misunderstandings and I realize and regret for my behavior, for hurting him but I am working to make myself confident. I love him a lot and I can never love anyone else. I just want another chance and these things will never happen. I truly love and care for him.
We are in long distance for over a year. Our relationship was two years old and it was very serious.
I have gone through your website, please help and guide me how to take this forward because I want him back .Do I still have chances of getting him back. Please help me in getting him back.
Thanks,
Priya
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 5, 2017 at 8:51 pm
Hi Priya,
check this one:
Sonia
May 27, 2017 at 1:33 pm
I did the no contact rule, and got a positive respond even tho it was a few days after my first mesg to him. However since then I had to delievered bad to him (something medical & personal) and he ignored me assuming he either angry and didn’t like what I had to say. But I had to tell him. So my question is do I leave the situation alone, move on or try again. Shall I do the no contact again ? I’m confused what I should do. Thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 29, 2017 at 3:41 pm
what was the bad news?
Melody
May 21, 2017 at 4:22 pm
I hv been with my boyfriend for 5 years and both of us are 27 now.
We hv talked about the plan of getting married and i would say our relationship is quite stable.
Two weeks before we argued on a minor stuff and we hv not contacted each other for 5 days.
Eventually I found him and he told me that we were not compatible and he has fallen in love with another girl within a week.
After 3 days of begging – i text him, phone him, i decided to start nc.
Today is the 7th day of nc (10 days after our official breakup).
He has actually asked for a dinner out on the 1st day of nc but i ignored him.
Seems he is quite happy with his new girl now and he has unfriend me on facebook, and deleted all my pictures on instagam. And i totally have no idea where did this girl come from.
If i keep adopting nc for30 or 45 days(??), any chance for me to get back him?
I really really love him and he said he will take care of me after breakup.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 23, 2017 at 6:18 pm
if he only started talking to the other girl after the break up, that’s more likely a rebound.. it’s not a gurantee that nc will work but it will increase your chances..do at least 30 days
Melody
May 21, 2017 at 4:19 pm
I hv been with my boyfriend for 5 years and both of us are 27 now.
We hv talked about the plan of getting married and i would say our relationship is quite stable.
Two weeks before we argued on a minor stuff and we hv not contacted each other for 5 days.
Eventually I found him and he told me that we were not compatible and he has fallen in love with another girl within a week.
After 3 days of begging – i text him, phone him, i decided to start nc.
Today is the 7th day of nc (10 days after our official breakup).
He has actually asked for a dinner out on the 1st day of nc but i ignored him.
Seems he is quite happy with his new girl now and he has unfriend me on facebook, and deleted all my pictures on instagam. And i totally have no idea where did this girl come from.
If i keep adopting nc for 30 or 45 days(??), any chance for me to get back him?
I really really love him and he said he will take care of me after breakup.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 23, 2017 at 6:18 pm
if he only started talking to the other girl after the break up, that’s more likely a rebound.. it’s not a gurantee that nc will work but it will increase your chances..do at least 30 days
Angel
May 15, 2017 at 7:04 pm
Hi Amor,
I am currently doing a NC with my ex. it has been 2 weeks already. I find it so fun improving myself and building other friendships. Meanwhile, I chose not to go frequently with the close group of friends me and my ex belongs. We often see each other during breaks at work, but yes, I chose not to go always with them. (Actually, not going with them causes so much drama and issue but I chose not to think about them and instead build other friendships outside the group.) I talk with him sometimes because it is inevitable, and I tried to keep it civil but really sometimes I keep overdoing it. Meanwhile, I am currently dating a guy who’s fun to be with and I am expressing myself with this guy, but I still think about my ex. After 2 weeks of not going with our group, I showed up to the group and saw them. I do not feel awkward at all, but I try to avoid my ex as much as possible and keeping it civil. For the next couple of days, it will be hard not seeing them around because of group gatherings. But hell, my ex seems to have clearly moved on and he seems like the type who moves on easily, especially with the one month-relationship that we had (which is really not a relationship to start with because we barely talk! He’s a silent type of guy and that time I WAS the silent type of girl at the time and our humour is very different! I always thought so much how to start a conversation!). Now I dont know how to deal with the upcoming events, I know I can hold up and be patient at the moment, but clearly how should I deal with it?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 16, 2017 at 6:48 pm
just be civil…always look your best.. be polite and direct in answering questions from him…be indifferent.. the more conscious you are around him, the more awkward you will act
Lyza
April 30, 2017 at 2:50 am
Hi amor!
My ex just ended our 13 yr rel because of another woman. We have been separated for 3 months already. I changed my number last month since it is not fair for me that he can have his cake and eat it too (yeah i was friendzoned). However i gave him my email bec we have to communicate about bills and stuff. He started emailing me two weeks ago and it was just limited contact. During that period he would call me by my pet name which i found odd and a little disrespectful. I asked him why he needed to call me that and he said that i would always he his sweetheart blah blah. I mean he just cant sweep things under the rug after everything he put me through. For 4 days he would just email that one word pet name. He was giving me breadcrumbs. He cant just email me that while at the same time still seeing the OW. I felt that he was testing the waters with me. If i would take the bait thats the time he will leave her. Thats just selfish. I finally replied that it was his choice to leave and that i am not an option bec i deserve better. I didnt hear from him until a week later when he emailed me about the bills. It was civil and a little defensive. I guess his ego was hurt. I just replied with a curt one liner. Did i do the right thing?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 30, 2017 at 2:02 pm
Yes, you did.. That’s good that you chose self respect